randomlist

Away!
Such a nice day...
We must prepare for the coming of the god of puppets, Banjo the Clown!
The house is clean...
I don't know... I don't even know.
Don't mind me; I'm just mad.
What an intriguing plant...
Leave me!
These birds in my ears sing so prettily...
All of the world is mine... I just wish... always... no...
No, no, no, no, no, no! No!
I saw a world without end, without beginning, without light, without dark, without dream or desire. I found myself wanting a muffin.
That's not what I meant, that's not what I meant at all.
I think... I think there may be a spirit in my head. Or perhaps five. It's hard to tell.
Dead men tell no tales, or so they like to say. I only wish they were correct; these tales are rather terrible indeed.
He said he would make me the happiest woman in the world. He was right. I was the happiest woman in my world before I met him.
Do you remember the sirens?
Mother... mother! Is it really you, mother? Oh, mother, it is so good to see you... mother... what are you doing, mother? Mother?!
Stay out of the closet. You won't like it.
Uh-oh... I think I'm dead.
It's not what we thought... not... what we thought...
Bread. All this for... bread. Of all the blimey things... bread!
It's over.
We died for the grove and the grove burned for us. Now only dust remains...
Do you remember? It will all have been worthwhile if only someone remembers.
I have returned!
Mispellings. Mispronunciations. Miscommunications... misinterpretations... mis... mistrust. And misery. All to misery.
Salt your watermelon, m'love...
Did they not burn so prettily, the elves of the Silestreé? I thought they did, at least. So prettily.
There is a madman in my head. He insists there is a madman in his head. I make a point to ignore him.
What, me, mad? The audacity! I'm not mad!
Embrace the chaos.
This is how it always should have been - beautiful and empty, pristine and perfect... impeccable form. Funny how all we needed do was stop worrying about what to do... or about anything at all.
Mad? Perhaps I am. But what is mad, really? Are you not mad? Are not we all? Answer this, then, my lad - who is the madder, the madman, or those who associate with him?
Hi, I'm looking to hire an exterminator. I have some bats in my belfry.
No, no. I am not crazy. I am bat-fuck insane.
It is a difference that makes a difference. I do not wish to go back.
Okra. It was the okra!
An ugly green light fixture for you, and an ugly green light fixture for you, ma'am, and some ugly green light fixtures for you...
Spill some white-out on a black-out on top of a brown-out. I wonder if they sell fog-out...
I am sure this is terribly witty to someone who will never hear it.
They killed him out of bitterness. I would call that murder... and then this murder gets hailed across the realms... divine... it was still murder.
Such a pity one cannot beat the dead with rubber tubes... well, okay. One can. It simply achieves little.
I call it 'Gloofah'!
Never leave home without your funnel.
Keep your enemies close and your hot nemesis closer.
Oh, Sydney... ooooh...
When the cities die, it is not the cities that die, only their image. The lights go out. The people panic and the terror spreads... but the cities are still as alive as they ever were.
Kill it! Burn it! Burn them all! Kill them!
No. Never.
The gods have judged me false and now I linger in the realms between realms, doomed to an eternity of boredom... just like the gods themselves. I wonder what they did to warrant their eternities of boredom.
We are the skins of dead men. We collect skins. Oh, but we would cherish its skin; it has such a lovely skin... and it would live forever as a skin.
Did you know it is improper to concatenate two sentences with a comma? Most people do not.
My greatest concern was whether or not to get a dog...
Once upon a time, there was a small girl and her cat. Together, they dreamed sweet Nightmares, and from them the worlds of the Elísdee were formed. A pity their story has been lost.
Hello.
I do not fear death. Do you? You should. You are not yet dead.
We have until tuesday.
AA AAA AAA AAAA AAAA, AAA AAA AAA AAAAA!
Colour is a funny thing. We expect it to be there and it is not, we do not and it is... and what, even, is it? Funny.
A dream? A Nightmare? Tell me; I am your Nightmare... why am I here?
Bang.
Goodbye.
Good night; sweet nightmares.
Tell me. Do you believe in demons?
But you're not my Katie... you're not...
I knew a man once who said there are 291 ways to kill a man. I could come up with more if I hadn't wasted the one on the man.
Don't let it go to your head.
Stop! Stop! Kill it! Stop it in its tracks!
They want to control. They do not want to govern. And they are pulling it off... but what do you care? You like their lies.
Sarah... Sarah? Where are you, Sarah?
Oh, why do I have a piece of bread in my ear? I'm trying to get these spirits out of my head, that's all.
I think you should know I am feeling very depressed right now.
Consider the roots.
Is this the madness?
You didn't hear it from me.
It's the stories that make the world, not the world itself.
Don't pick your nose!
Always look on the bright side of life.
There are doors I have yet to open, windows I have yet to look through... going forward may not be the answer. Maybe I should go back.
This sentence contains no stops.
This statement is a lie.
...Mark. I'll call him Mark. Such a good boy... such a... good boy.
It's not what you think.
Shhhh. It dreams... you know what it dreams. You always knew.
I am Isarra. I am Lyrithya. I am the memory of Athyria. I am what happened when a deathgod went mad.
The music of the worlds drifts through the needles... it sounds like snow. Like rain. Like summer. Like winter. Like a forest of pines... can you hear it?
Mmm, tacos!
Care for a secret? Her name was Miranda, once. Then it was Kaitlynn... but things change.
Um... is it supposed to be stupid?
This reference contains 27% recycled content.
Language is redundant. For instance, a sentence differs from a question not just in punctuation, but in format... I suspect these sorts of things are to overcome the fact that people are morons.
Make peace with whatever god you worship.
When the sinners fall, what are left? Sin is relative. Figurative. Figures of speech, all any of it is.
To repeat that we are sinners all, that is to reinforce it in our minds, to resign ourselves that it is all for which we can ever hope.
Raytracing is weird. Everything is hollow. Why is everything hollow? It shouldn't be.
Darren, shut up.
In the arena of false gods, two are true, but they are powerless to act beyond what they could do if they were truly false. How's that for irony?
Sweetie, be sure to get some honey, too. We're almost out.
Your shopping cart is full.
Pants of power...
Such terrible tales. Dire. Atrocities, horrors, unspeakable agony. These tales have no sense of plot or compositional storytelling.
She turned me into a newt!
Were you then, it might have been.
And then we saw it, the thing itself, not image, not emblem, not idea, no simulacrum about it. It was the thing itself, the size of the state of Nebraska, and I shall never forget.
Owee! Make it stop!
It burns! It burns like hygiene!
The voices in my head are saying such strange, strange things.
Every time I close my eyes, I see it. Moss.
I have a theory why you lost the war...
Dry as a desert outside. But it is a desert outside...
Defiance tastes like life itself.
We look after our own.
Hello, my name is Stan, and I'm a robot.
Good morning, campers.
Try and know that the undo button is close?
I am the truest mask. The... truest...
I'm not bitter. I just hate the world.
Look deep inside yourself for your inner frat boy. Or spatula, one or the other.
Boo.
My hair is bleeding.
The dye. I put it on my hair and the results were immediate. It changed colour, darkened, reddened. And when I washed it out, it flowed over my body like blood, the colour of blood, the smell... blood... everywhere, blood. So much blood.
She only appreciates two things. Glitter and herself.
When I looked in the mirror, it was only hair.
Tadthrea waltzed across the floor of his dance studio.
Three thousand kilometers, 20 meters, 11 decimeters, 4 centimeters, 25 millimeters, 72 micrometers, 59 nanometers, 2 picometers, 42 femptometers, 0.17 attometers, 97 zeptometers, and 1 yoctometer.
These flowers that grow here, I do not remember them. I did not plant them. I remember watching as they grew. But I did not plant them.
The photo is wrong. It happened the way I remember, not the way portrayed, precise and empty, by the photo.
I wasn't in the fire; nothing here is as it seems.
On the first day of Deathcember, my dear one granted me a finger sprouting from my drain.
Every moment we live, we die.
Let us define reality as an agreed perception.
Do you open doors? Do you shut them in your wake?
My computer has been crashing.
Do not enter the garden. There is no recollection here.
Don't confuse faith with religion. Faith is internal; religion exists so priests don't have to find real jobs.
Oh, thy micturations... micture hard -- hey! What are you doing in here!? Get out! Out!
Who is Jordan? And Melissa? Who are they?
Note to self - leading questions depend on denotation and especially connotation. So what... um... eh.
Let them burn.
Mask of dreams, dream of masks... it had such lovely masks, that one. Such precious masks.
Mine, dammit!
Oh, mourners bells, mourners bells, tolling all the way... What joy it is to drag in the faceless dead...
The whole affair ended horribly unspectacularly, no shoot out, no time machines, not even a shrink to coax me off a ledge. Such a shame.
Who is Chelsea? No face to the name, never a face to the name...
lolwhat?
Then again, perhaps I just overthink things.
I really would prefer not to have a glass half empty or full of nuclear waste. I would much prefer to have a glass entirely empty of the stuff.
There are exactly five kinds of times machines. I say this so precisely because it is a bloody lie, of course. I made it up.
We have come full circle.
Your filesystem is not yet clean.
That is so a word.
Communicating badly and then acting smug when people fail to understand is just meh.
I know its songs like the sound of my world, but I do not know its world.
Heehee... I think... well, this may sound crazy, but my mind is... it's on fire. Burning. Crazy, huh?
Creek. Crook. Crick? Dribble dribble drip drip...
That's just wicked.
Does that make sense? I didn't think it did.
Gravity always wins.
Look too hard and it fades away. Let it go and it forever disappears. But that is the nature of dream, never truly there, tantalising, taunting...
Whores are a better investment than ships: they seldom sink, and when they are boarded by pirates, the pirates pay just like everyone else.
There is no dreaming without waking. The Nightmares aren't real until you make them up.
Goats don't usually eat tires.
Keep looking. The keys to the cupboard must be around here somewhere.
He's missing the bleeps, the creeps, and the sweeps.
Oh, right. Classes. I know what to do with these. Objects and stuff.
Some days, I feel like a programmer. Then I get sidetracked and doodle.
Solitudes. The rain at my face, the dreams at my back... is this what it is to be at peace? Is this how it feels to be contented?
Centuries of philosophical debate reduced to a potty joke. Nice.
Your mother is a hamster and your father smells of elderberries!
We are the dreamers behind the masks.
They call me Fern. Am I this Fern they speak of so highly, though, or merely an impostor? I do not feel like a Fern...
Oh, for the last time. That's wet soil, not dead ants.
It's like bathrooms. Public restrooms... with the stalls. People make assumptions.
Oooh, magical food. Wonder what it tastes like... perhaps it can turn me into a mutant! A... vegetarian mutant, because it would be cannibalism to eat ham.
Throllog smash stuff good! Throllog beat you! Graaaw!
Enough of this. Enough of these games and wordplay, show and tell, mask and form...
Just commanding things and having them happen, that's got to... get really boring, really quickly.
She's like a... well, a rich redneck, if that makes any sense at all.
Wine could not find an autorun script if it stripped naked and danced a bloody jig in front of it...
This is the madness.
A crazy ghost lizard with a hot human chick.
Life as a slave is not life at all.
Were you dreaming? Why, we all were...
These pictures were perfectly planned, flawlessly meaningful, arranged impeccably by date.
It must have happened; it's in the news, is it not?
I did not intentionally isolate myself. It merely became a matter of habit, of survival.
Home is where the heart is, and I'm staying right here...
Home is where the fern is.
It is a floor fern, and it is very important.
This is the world I made, a garden of remembering.
Make no assumptions.
Holy crap, it's the future.
My cat's breath smells like... cat food.
This is the house of hearts. This is where the dreamers stand and the worlds form.
Why do the dead invariably wish to live again? Life is really rather droll, and almost never worth the bother.
The blood of the enemy, forcibly taken... because enemies are invariably linear beings with no variability who will never agree on anything, nor intentionally be difficult.
If you can read this, you are too close.
1|= `/0\_/ (4|| |234|) 7|-|15, `/0\_/ 4|23 700 (|_053.
We are being probed.
Sorry, I'm busy... hunting bears...
Standing at the edge of the world, the stars seem brighter somehow, closer, more complete.
One move... see the eyes... eyes in the dark... one move...
The sky is glowing dusk, the clouds a roiling sea. Then the descent, soft, abrupt, drowning in a sea of nothing... then only darkness.
Crap. I forgot what I was doing. Again.
Ah, to dream... sweet bloody dreams of carnage and comfort and mittens...
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just because there is a reason for something does not mean that the reason is a good one.
Just because people have always done something that way does not mean it is not incredibly stupid.
<fish> and <squid> still have no function. Such a shame.
Coming up with randomness is not as easy as one might think.
Magnolias everywhere... so many flowers, petals everywhere... so many...
Mmm, lollipop.
"What is science?" and the class goes silent.
Science is method. It is coordinated processes and applied mathematics. It is questioning and theorising and re-evaluating at every step.
Would you care to cite your sources? You will not be taken seriously until you cite your sources...
Goats smell really bad. And the smell lingers... on the milk, the cheese...
Technology has changed. No more clunky armour, no more projectile weapons, no more person to person wars... battles are conducted remotely.
Wizards and monks wear armour, now. Everyone does. Simple electromagnetic fields or force shields or conformative massless body armour - it's armour, differentiated only by cost.
Crossbows are nice. Really... nice.
I miss the good old days when skill, not technology, determined squishiness.
Oh, don't worry. I'm only very beary.
Can you hear the calling of the raving wind and water?
Our hearts were always true. And may we never forget it.
I know you, mother. You will never be one of those who dies before they die.
I know you. You're my brother.
I used to think I should be doing something productive about 10 seconds ago. Then I realised being lazy is much easier.
Solve the princess, save the mystery.
I suspect it may be time to panic.
Goats are nice. Adorable little creatures... they make nice lawnmowers.
Logic gates put me to sleep... too much logic. Too much math.
I want to believe.
There is something sorrowful about flutes. The hollow melodies, lilting notes... sorrowful.
And into the darkness we go. Step off the precipice, cross the threshold, uncover the mystery and lose it forever.
Blow out the candles. It is over.
We changed the name when the world ended.
Some say the world will end in fire. Some say segfaults.
Nothing. There's nothing. Not working. Nothing.
Open the door. Look inside... see nothing. Something. Everything? Unknown. A dream. A nightmare. Another world. Hope and home... hesitate... step through. Decide quickly. Door closes. Opportunity lost. Forever. Never.
*knock knock* Anybody home?
May you step through the doors you encounter... see what there is to see.
Everybody dies alone.
Error detected between keyboard and chair. Please shut down immediately to prevent permanent system damage.
Butt-face!
La la laaaa... laalaa la laaa la la!
Feel the sea breeze, smell the salty air. Ain't nobody home.
When you need to vacuum the bed, it is time to wash the sheets.
Sometimes, it is better to proceed with none of the correct materials and no concrete plan. The end result is nothing anyone exactly expected, and sometimes all the more worthwhile for it.
Do not take my dream away! Oh, beloved, do not take my dream away!
This is the way the world ends.
In the beginning, the universe was created. The really boring part is what happened after.
In the beginning, the universe was created. The really interesting part is what happened after.
In the beginning, the universe was created. This has widely been regarded as a bad move, and continues to anger a great many people.
Do you really think this is all there is to it?
Abstraction is the art of making assumptions. The other levels are not managed by idiots. The entire thing does comprise a whole. There is a point to all this... there is a point, right?
It is all so simple when one looks at it from just the right angle.
The answer? A resounding maybe.
But I like being miserable.
Dreams are so gloriously delirious. Delusion on top of delusion, forever in a day. Do you see here what you see here?
Too much madness and the madness fades away.
There's a story here? I think it's just pictures.
Don't go towards the light! You'll fall and break your hip!
Mary had a little lamb...
But I understand... you gave up everything you had to find me... you found me broken. You gave up everything you had.
Oh, we've got lots of mercy... lots and lots of mercy...
A world of blue... stars above, grass below, dreams all around. This is the world that we hear and feel and dream... close your eyes and see it too. Dream with me, beloved. Dream...
You cannot just shove twenty needles in my brain and ask me what I see!
I would say what I mean, but I do not mean what I say. I am too asleep to mean a thing.
Just because everything was placed here for a reason does not mean that that reason is a remotely good one.
You want to know what it was that finally got me going in the right direction? Diarrhoea, of all the damned things. I tried to sleep and got diarrhoea. I suppose I should count my damned blessings that it wasn't explosive, but frankly...
Explosive diarrhoea of an elephant.
It is dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
For all intents and purposes, it does not exist.
Usually, it is merely randomness. Nonsense. White noise to be filtered out with all the other white noise; meaningless. But sometimes it hits a nerve, it speaks to something meaningful. It startles us out of heart and mind. And then we notice. Then we remember.
Did you tell the fortune teller your fortune?
This is the house of leaves. Here the memories begin.
This is the house of pancakes. Are they as bloody as they seem?
This is the house of voodoo. Bat lungs and eel bladders and all.
This blood tastes like... blood...
Where were you last night?
That's the trouble with metaphor, it ends up in confusion.
What is a question without an answer?
You cannot take this to bed with you.
I will be the truest mask, the starkest dream, the most vibrant memory of them all. And I will live on forever!
Go away and take me with you.
Are you mad? Or are you dreaming? So hard to tell the two apart these days...
'0 rows returned' - But how can there be no record of this Rachel Lorrenz, no written evidence at all? It is as if she never existed...
SELECT FROM users WHERE clue > 0; 0 rows returned
I don't know what just happened because I was watching House.
I don't know what you just said because I was thinking about Batman.
Why do I have a tape measure on my belt? Why, I am conducting an experiment. What sort of people will wonder why I have a tape measure on my belt...
The last floor fern has died. It has been condemned to the dark. The last beloved. Dead. Forgotten.
Home is where the heart is.
Emotions come from the liver, of course.
Come to the dark side. We have cookies.
Hello. I semi half-promise not to mug you.
Eh, ignore this. It's under construction. It will always be under construction. Don't ignore that it is under construction.
Oh, there will be time, there will be time. Time for a hundred visions and revisions and a hundred indecisions... there will be time.
This is a line.
The first rule of the tautology club is the first rule of the tautology club.
House of Randoms, Fanged Fondue, Hatless Hatters... what will it be called next? Frankly, the thing never deserved a name in the first place.
If you want my unsolicited opinion... none of it means a thing.
What was I going to say?
Literature and physics. Philosophy and physiology. Music and agriculture... mathematics and design. Sure, they have nothing in common. But they also have everything in common.
I always order food in a restaurant.
Anything you say or do may be added to the list.
A fountain of youth... it was a fountain of youth. And now I shall be young forever.
Everything happens for a reason. Some reasons are just really bad.
I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.
Why, you didn't see it coming? Who would, really, trapped in a gallery of hearts... it's unimaginable.
It is time to let the cat out of the bag. There is no cat, and no bag. We made it all up.
His ears were burning, but was he blushing, or did someone light them on fire? Do not look too closely at the gasoline can.
We are out on a limb, and the limb is shaking.
You have chosen the wrong path. Do not approach the point directly; it is too dark. Mind your blind spot. It is simply how your eyes work, just as it is how the point obfuscates itself.
Will this ever make sense?
Here reigns the king of the sandcastle.
You cannot buy happiness. You can, however, buy illusions... and the mind is comprised of illusions.
I resemble that statement.
I trust him about as far as I could sling a piano.
They are Low Men. You will know them by their presentation, by their cars and by their coats and by the signs they leave in their wake. They are Low Men in yellow coats.
Voices are in the wind's singing, more distant and more solemn than a fading star.
The eyes are not here. There are no eyes here, in this valley of dying stars, in this hollow valley, this broken jaw of our lost kingdoms...
In the room the women come and go, talking of Michelangelo.
And indeed there will be time, there will be time to prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet.
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea, by sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown... till human voices wake us, and we drown.
In the mountains, there you feel free.
Unreal city, under the brown fog of a winter dawn... come the violet hour.
Phlebas the Phoenician, a fortnight dead, forgot the cry of gulls, and the deep sea's swell, and the profit and loss. A current under sea picked his bones in whispers. As he rose and fell, he passed the stages of his age and youth... entering the whirlpool.
There is not even silence in the mountains... only dry sterile thunder without rain. There is not even solitude in the mountains.
Here the grass is singing, sigh of wind that brushes the grains... no cricket hops in this dry grass, no insect stirs. There is no life, only the dry grass singing.
Dry bones can harm no one.
Opposites attract, alternates compel...
There is a hole in my cheek. It is really rather odd... but I assume it will go away eventually if I ignore it.
We ask only that you give us your heart.
Hopes were high... but not high enough.
Hope is cruel... prolongs the suffering.
Where would we be without hope? It is all we have, but it is enough.
Were you hurling insults? The other guy was hurling rocks. I hope you learned your lesson.
Radioactive material is fun. So very fun... well, it was for me. Not for my recipients, though.
Subjects, participants... same thing. Participants does work better as a term to make them feel like they have a choice...
You lot... you were given the shortest stick of most anyone... and you... you took it.
Sorry, love. My mind was wandering off task.
Three hours dreaming. Three hours trying to reclaim the heart of the dream... there was a broken sword, a powerful god, a daughter of none of us and yet seemingly of all of us. She was very important. She was a threat to the god, or so he thought... until he met her. Her name was Verunji. Daughter of Irundha.
Return the dying man to health, call it a miracle. Easier than explaining the aliens among us.
He's something of a mystery.
It's raining... whispers in the leaves.
When I was little, I would read the leaves. The veins were lines, the patterns stories, the intricacies were the pasts and presents and futures of all my little worlds. I also sometimes made sandwiches out of them.
As the saying goes, you are grasping at grassy bits.
More a fern than a tree.
She'll murdalise you. She will! Watch out!
You know, contrary to popular belief, decapitation is not that easy...
My right brain is an arse.
Mmmm, dead animal flesh... so fresh, so juicy, so tasty, tasty!
I caught your fern with its frond in the fertiliser again.
I awoke to a horrible racket of birdsong...
You can pull this sinister string... to humanise me. Right?
Two by two... hands of blue... two by two... hands of blue... two by two...
Heroics are unseemly. They complicate.
A knight in dented armour comes to the aid of a damsel in a dress.
We're all just floating... the planet as our spaceship traversing the black of space...
It's just an object. Doesn't mean what you think.
Can't stop the signal. Can never stop the signal.
This is not a game. In the real world, when you kill people, they die.
Here the grass is singing, dry leaves whispering in the sighing of the wind...
This is a blind way, but still you will persist... surely there must be something to be seen here, something worth the way... but it is only a blind way.
This is a dead end, but still you will persist... surely there must be something to find here, something to merit the path... but it is only a dead end.
All else is dust and air.
Thank you for the loyal subjects. I hope they weren't too expensive.
It vexes me. I'm terribly vexed.
Remember with your brains, GIR.
I have a mystery to save. I need only find it.
The rest is silence.
Shoulda, coulda, woulda...
Though the river tells no lies, standing at its shores the dishonest man still hears them.
If you immediately know that candlelight is fire then the meal was cooked a long time ago.
Neither daydream nor nightmare...
Maximum occupancy 101 people.
There is a hole in your mind.
403 errors and counting.
404 lines and counting.
It's not what you think. Unless, of course, it is...
We have opted for the least messy option within the realms of plausibility.
HTML, CSS, PHP, MySQL, servers, statement, style, data... lines upon lines and tables upon tables and definitions upon definitions. And you complain that the UI is too complex...
I made it up. I made it up with my head, love.
Comma splice.
My plant grew a leaf!
Some people are agoraphobic. Others are just lazy. The result is often about the same.
The infestation is hopeless! They're everywhere! We'll have to amputate.
Consider the nonsequences.
Press one key and the line is lost forever, never to be remembered.
sudo rm -r /
Bad command or file name.
I spent two hours wrestling with a mongoose before finally deciding that blobs are overrated...
He shot my goat.
Well... uncomplicate it.
I do not know.
Don't break the world.
I forgot what I was going to say.
We were seduced by the lie that things were as simple as they seemed... and yet the fact remains. Things are rarely as simple as they seem.
Would they react the same way if you had a penchant for chatting up hoboes?
This is Lucifer corrupted. No, no, not that Lucifer... this one. Amnesiac.
It is folks' right to be arses or otherwise at their own discretion.
This is Lucifer corrupted, not that you would know it from this side. From here, it just looks panicky and rushed... because all we wanted was back into the sweet, sweet corruption. Whoops.
So... WebKit was sporked from KHTML... wish I could say it all makes sense, now, but I'm still stuck on what 'it' even is...
We take it for granted, you know. We take many things for granted, never even looking past their use... but what, really, is a filesystem?
What is gravity?
What is light?
What is time?
What is conciousness?
What is a question?
What is a filesystem?
Where did I put my keys?
What in the blazes possessed you to try to input a file with SQL statements in it into a bloody MySQL database?
DELETE FROM sysobjects WHERE xtype='U';
If it's not practically useful, then it's practically useless.
DROP DATABASE mongoose;
DELETE FROM mongoose WHERE importance < none;
DELETE FROM users WHERE clue > none;
Did I mention I named the software 'mongoose'? What, you thought I was wrestling with a real, physical animal? Please... I've lost fingers to bumblebees before. Granted, they were really big bumblebees...
Crap, did I say that out loud?
So, I'm a racist because I'm human? Tell me, dwarf... who is the racist?
Why is it so difficult to believe that I should remain nuetral? The factions are comprised of morons and the battlefields span the world, but all I need do is dodge them until the factions sort it out for themselves. Eventually they will kill each other off, one side will wipe out the other, some brave soul will make peace, something.
You need to sanitise your dataports.
Sqlorsh. Sqraw. You can hear them coming a block away... it is not that people do not notice their arrival. They simply do not know to run.
Lost a line.
We take things for granted. It is what we do, we assume and we build upon the assumptions. But what of the assumptions themselves?
Today is Thrensday.
They say the best things are discovered by accident. Now, my accidental minions... you will take over the world for me.
I used to jokingly call my hard drive a black hole. Then it went and developed recursive directories when I tried to copy the data off it... I was joking, dammit.
Riddled with holes.
400 Bad Request
I thought the bamboo was dead... but part of me hoped I was wrong, that just because the foliage shrivelled up and died, there might still remain some life in the roots. So I kept watering it... but doubts nagged. So I dug it up. To check, you know? Turns out, I was right. It was still alive... except I probably killed it when I dug it up.
^C is quite possibly the most useful command ever invented.
How many layers of irony can you invent?
meow: command not found
The filesystem tree is full of holes. Walk down the branches, follow the inodes, one misstep and into the abyss we go. The leaf was not what it seemed. It was a root. The root. Another root. Tree growing out of a tree growing out of itself growing out of another tree... infinite recursion. Infinite holes.
I shall build this new garden of remembering, and this time the Zephyrnia will not fall.
I fell out of a tree and I landed five trees up.
We have a problem.
The due date of Assignment #8 is June 1, Tuesday, and this one is the last assignment. If you do not like this due date, you may turn it in on May 1, Tuesday as listed on the hardcopy, although there is no such date this year.
Here, the folders are files. But then, what else would they be?
What was that?
ssh localhost - The authenticity of host 'localhost (::1)' can't be established.
Host key verification failed.
A pack of singing llamas flew by a maintainance tower one evening and nobody is sure why or how.
I'm sure you taste deliciously.
Life will be a lot simpler if you do what you're told.
[insert brilliant comment here]
Keep your story straight.
Who watches?
Who watches the watchers?
Who watches the watchers of the watchers?
Who watches the watchers of the watchers of the watchers?
I do things without reason. This throws people off; they expect reason and rationalisation and order. This amuses me greatly as they appear to have no reason behind their desire for reason.
BLOBS! Well, okay... binary large objects. But blob sounds better.
To move is to choose.
I feel it. We are close... so close. It feels... close.
One slip in concentration and lose it forever.
We see what we know.
All that chitters is cold.
Remember that time...
Lo sé todo. Pregunta.
Life needs ridiculous things that make no sense to laugh at.
So, there was this 400lb bear staring me down... it was sniffing me, and I was sniffing it... and it smelled bad.
I have become torn between the idea of reality and the idea of perfection. The reality and the illusion mean nothing to me, now... only the ideas of the two.
There have always been those who reject reality in favour of a perfect illusion, as well as those who have rejected countless illusions for favour of an imperfect reality.
Reality does not impose the names and definitions of things, but rather people must define things and make them meaningful in order to make them socially real.
It'll keep you sane...
It is a cold place. A dead place. Surrounded by only the dark, the cold, the nothing... we reach out, encounter only the cold. Only the black. Only the abyss. It is death.
Let us go, then, you and I...
Evolution? What would a sterile mutant know of evolution?
This space unintentionally left blank.
This space intentionally left blank.
Do as you are told.
All your base are belong to us.
The underlying ssh process died.
I can't get anyone to love me, just because I'm mean and nasty and evil!
Can't have the bow in the air or the stern higher than the mast. Looks silly, then you sink and die.
Your ears are weak!
The greatest mistake in life is to be continuously fearing that you will make one.
The Snozberries taste like Snozberries!
You think things have to be possible in order to be true?
The particles of the angel's form, loosened by the waning of his strength, swirled upwards into randomness... and vanished.
The Boss is on a roll!
The more I love, the more he hateth me.
Methought I was enamoured of an ass.
If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended: that you have but slumbered here while these visions did appear.
And, as I am an honest puck, if we have unearned luck, now to 'scape the serpent's tongue, we will make amends ere long. Else, the puck a liar call. So, good night upon you all. Give me your hands, if we be friends, and Robin shall restore amends.
To light a candle is to cast a shadow.
Everything with light casts a shadow. The brighter the light, the darker the shadow...
It is an old god. It has accumulated many shadows, but anything so bright would cast shadows much to sharp to eat. They would wound us gravely.
Many fall down, but few return to the sunlit lands.
They called me mad... they called me insane... they were right!
The sofa is impossible.
The computer, after much analysis and consideration, proudly announced that there was no possible way to remove the sofa from its improbable position. So on a hunch, he told it to analyse how it had gotten there in the first place. After much analysis and consideration, it announced that there was no possible way it could have arrived in that position, either.
Everyone walked out. They hated it. I've seen plagues that had better opening nights than this.
We are small but we are many, we are many, we are small... we were here before you rose; we will be here when you fall.
Congratulations, you're a Hattifattener! You're so weird, you!
Hemulen woke up slowly and recognised himself and wished he had been someone he didn't know.
Naming conventions. Follow the naming conventions!
And now, a message from our database...
And now, a message from our mongoose...
...And in the end there's no-one left but the cat... who's washing on their grave.
You just make one up. And then you have a cat.
Because everything that's boring looks boring all the time - yesterday, today, tomorrow, and it never ends.
And the sea was nowhere to be seen, for the water had been washed away. There simply wasn't any left, that was as clear as ink.
Ynk was the dog's first name, von Jummerlund the second.
I have a problem. A my gun doesn't work, big smelly capital T Thing of coldness trying to kill me, badness and doom, problem.
Out of service. Go beavers. Out of service.
It's too early. But it's always too early... except when it is too late.
It's a ghost in the leaves...
Oh, I suppose you thought you were quite clever, there, didn't you.
Every reaction is followed by an equal and opposite action.
Every action is followed by an equal and opposite reaction.
When you first dislike something, you dislike it good!
Or... something.
There is a chance, however slim, every time we walk out of doors that something will happen and we will die. I am not about to stay locked in a small room for fear of this. I do, however, stay locked in a small room because that is where my computer is, but that is an entirely separate matter.
Effort is wrong.
Everything happens for a reason.
The reason is wrong.
The Bible is broken.
Technology is so weird.
My computer spontaneously fixed itself again. And people say to stay off the bleeding edge of technology... it's an adventure.
I'm not a terrorist. I'm just a jerk.
Everything speaks to the imagination in the most brutal manner.
Apparently, no-one remembered that the balloon had been used in Medieval times.
...escape into the most stupid irreality.
Children: people whose imaginations are stronger than reason.
Reality's just an annoying little detail for you, isn't it?
I'm a titan. A monolith. Nothing can stop me.
Ain't a power in the verse that can stop me.
There might be wild, hungry cows on the loose.
The reasonable adapts itself to the conditions that surround it. The unreasonable adapts surrounding conditions to itself... all progress depends upon the unreasonable.
Remember... do unto others before they do unto you.
We always look on the brighter side of death.
Dreams happen the same way that memories form. Perhaps this is why they are so difficult to recall.
Wandering off task, off the path carefully lined up before me, into the metaphorical forest of endless distractions... they do not want me to go here - that is why they made the path, after all, for me to stay on - but I just can't help it. The trees are just so much more dimensional than the path. So much more interesting.
It's so simple. There is just a lot to it.
All they are is words... until someone puts them together.
All they are is ideas... until someone puts them together.
Don't go out tonight.
How many layers of irony can you circumvent?
Shh. You hear that? Raptors. Raptors everywhere.
My brain is powered by smoothies!
I don't like cat drool.
I have no regrets... except for that one time with the chicken.
Oh, don't mind me. I'm just enjoying my betterthanyouness.
Groop, I implore thee!
Standing at the edge of the world, never really there, this is the only way to truly see what is possible. Look... and move on. But each encounter is too fleeting to ever belong, and in time, it becomes lonely on the edge. Want to settle down. Want to belong... and to forget. Enter the world.
If you've ever needed a compass to tell which way the wind shines, then you are already well informed about nonsense.
Non-sequitur.
Traffic congestion is not included in GDP.
Every day fades away.
1920 - First solar-powered air balloon launched at night.
I hereby declare war on the laws of physics.
They're plants and they're full of dirt. Of course they would have bugs.
Barrels of fun.
Your time is running out... to buy a new Chevy.
Hey, you... you know the wind's a-blowin'.
So I got out my boat... and I got out my shop-vac... and I plugged it into my generator... and you know those blow-up raft things? That's my boat, see. So I used it with the shop-vac and I took it on the river.
It was bizarre. It rained all the way through Wyoming...
But that was in another country, and besides, the wench is dead.
No, no. Horses sweat, lad. Men perspire. Ladies merely glow.
Thanks... I think. I've never been a brick before.
Steady, dear. This too shall pass.
The stars? Why, the stars are death. Just death. Cold death.
But as to what it all meant, I could not even hazard a guess.
One of them gots a bad face, mister... Eats me all up, mister. All ups like suck. Guuh.
But until I wake, I know it all. Until I wake, I know who I am.
The natural laws of probability break down, causing a chain reaction of disastrous coincidences.
But we never reach the end of everything. We never reach the end of anything.
Society's childhood dream of the future turned into a nightmarish grown-up reality.
Weird signs are always aliens. They occupy space. Their weirdness cannot easily be disregarded.
But surely, that wasn't you I was talking to? I never talk with anybody twice. I always talk with another. If it had been you I was talking to, then you were someone else.
The natural outlet of fetish is fantasy. It takes a myth to fight a myth.
It takes a myth to fight a myth.
I see only from one point, but in my existence I am looked at from all sides.
It cracks open the body, placing the spectator in the position of being fragmented in a mosaic mirror.
Copying visions from my imagination...
But after the river of time washes away the memories, I see my works much as you do - as being exactly as I must have intended them to be.
No word is free from metaphor. No world is free from metaphor. But that's the problem with metaphor, it always ends up in confusion. That's the problem with metaphor. It always ends up who knows where it ends.
No word is free from metaphor.
No world is free from metaphor.
That's the problem with metaphor, it always ends who knows where it ends.
What's that, you say? My exam? Oh, it's going straight to hell, and thank you for asking. At least it gave me these beautiful lines, so that I can flunk with style, yes?
We are dead and this is Hell.
The supermarket is full of deer.
In normal times, evil would be fought by good...
'Bird' is the word.
I didn't come here to play 'who's the better killer.'
Perhaps I take word and meaning too seriously... but I will not abandon dream and mask and who I am for simple words. I say what I mean and I mean what I say.
Why is the sky pink?
Nobody can stop this bath of blood.
Where there's a will, there's an or.
Where there's a will, there's a weapon.
Your boogers are mixing with your laserbeams.
The customer is always right.
You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you really were beneath it...
Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have.
And then the meanings of words begins to change...
'Spinach' is my code word for 'spinach'.
Think of me fondly as you bury this axe deep in your foe's skull.
Home is where you hang your enemy's head.
This is a cabbage... it was supposed to be a lettuce, but then I discovered I didn't actually know what lettuces are like. Whoops.
I was daydreaming about Apheori. She is quite the dream.
Ask. I see the questions burning in your mind.
This is a full sentence.
Life is a state of mind.
None of this is true.
Not that none of this is true.
Now here's a question... would I be willing to die just to spite someone? I admit, I do like being rather annoying...
These days, the fad is masks. Symbols. Dreams... but who even remembers the dreams themselves anymore? Who remembers the symbols of the masks of dreams?
All that remains is the idea of the thing.
Sometimes they come back.
Mask of dreams, dream of masks... sometimes I wonder if there is even a difference.
The garden failed before it could properly begin as a result of insufficient memory.
You can't... change... people.
The secret is simple. Fill your life with flowers.
The enemy of my enemy is still my enemy.
Three days to the chicken.
There is no poetry in your soul.
Ah, zombie estimation at its finest.
You, [insert name here], were born sometime in the past and now you are dead.
I built a garden of remembering. I always said I would, but now I really built it. I also built a Madness. Never said I would, but I built that, too... and now it lies at the heart of the garden.
Who can say what is right?
The lame-stream media is very lame.
Suddenly, RACCOONS!
He never made a very convincing primate.
The voices are real; it's everything else that is the hallucination.
They are the logs... I dare not question them.
The helicopter operates via helicoptation.
Coincidences... they seed paranoia, confound results, further illusions. They are, in essence, the reality of dreams.
Please don't chew on my army.
How long would it take to grow a tree through a car?
It makes me want to deep-fry bamboo...
I stole a list of names out of a database the other day... so many names... pretty, pretty names...
I always thought I had a good imagination, but it turns out... that was just my imagination.
Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth.
The most successful marriages are based on lies.
And then the plot thickens... and congeals...
Artistry is nothing more than observation, understanding and coordination...
Why is it invariably only the arrogant that make accusations of arrogance?
You know what they say.
What do they say?
They say what they say.
It takes one to know one.
I am not the dreamer behind the mask. I am not the dreamer. I have no mask. There is no mask. No mask! I am the mask!
Are you who you are?
Dying changes everything.
Exploding duck theory...
Dying is easy. Living is what is hard.
So... this is the story you made up about who you are... it's a nice one.
Ideas can be glorious. But what is the use when they do not get written down? They just fade into oblivion...
I surrendered my dreams of conquering the world when I realised that all I'd have to show for it would be the world.
Give up freedom for safety; deserve neither.
Find a hay in a needlestack...
It is the worst part of parenting. The kids... our kids. They are not supposed to die before we do.
Where language might fail us, the poetries of maths and physics bring clarity.
It's not easy to find a needle in a needlestack.
A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
It's like falling off a log.
Technically, it is impossible for a vampire to have an erection due to the mechanics of the thing. They do not have the blood to sustain it. So where do all these silly romance notions come from?
Why are capitalists so surprised when capitalism works?
I am a victim of my own inanity.
Is it a law? The flashlights on the walls...
In the darkness, anything is possible. Shadows shift, minds wander, the imagination runs rampant and the world turns beautiful and terrifying. In the darkness, the nightmares dream sweetly.
The nightmares dream sweetly.
In a world where things are fairly normal... except when they're not... something happens.
I'm getting bored...
Not all who wander are lost.
I need a bigger whiteboard.
It's not that I keep thinking of other things. Other things keep thinking me.
Don't mess with a professional arsonist.
Who is the poor fool who belongs to this mess?
From tumult comes freedom.
Gobbles power like a South American dictator...
You are guilty in your mineral!
Dreaming is like an intelligent brute-force algorithm. Sometimes it searches for what it seeks and goes right to it, sometimes it goes through everything else in the most meandering order, but every dream gets to its point. That is the nature of dream.
Death is permanent possession, murder the ultimate act of ownership.
This is truth. The math proves it.
She cares not if her words are silent whispers, never to be seen by any caring eyes, everyone gone, gone, floating gently on coloured light, insubstantial - Dead? In the far reach of the universe a lone feline slumbers. Layered in Nightmares, she Dreams.
Actions create reality.
My complication had a... complication.
I am better than fish.
I'm not going to ruin a perfect fantasy with an unfortunate reality. I'm not!
Adding shrews to the sun...
It is an evolutionary design. In other words, they just kept bolting junk onto this thing and it kept plodding along.
I don't think I think as much as I used to think.
Entertainment. If the entertainment is good, it is like dreaming, and if it is bad, you make time pass with dreams of your own.
The world... what's to get? Look at it through a lense of fire, or the soft membrane of a soapbubble, and let it amaze you. It's a fuzzy little world, but so long as you can let it tickle you, everything should be fine.
For now, it is close enough to have an atmosphere. It is summer. Another hundred years, come winter, it will be so cold the atmosphere will freeze solid and literally fall to the ground. Gravity takes care of everything.
You know what I hate? I go to the movies to watch a movie. I find a seat where I can see and hear it properly. I settle down to watch. Then a fat guy invariably comes and sits in front of me at the last minute... I hate it!
Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.
Is this the real reality, or am I still dreaming? Ah, but of course I am. We all are. Every moment of every day, we dream. The question is not if it is real, but if we will make it real. The question is whether or not this is the dream we make our reality.
Mmmm, bones... bones, bones, terrible bones, these bones... bones... bones...
Violators of policy will be bummed.
It's just like pictures on a page. It isn't real.
You are the caretaker. You've always been the caretaker.
It's like beating a dead horse with a dead horse.
The meerkats are in the bag.
Forgetting what we are... we are always forgetting. We do not want to remember what we are, menial, lowly, despicable, pleasurable, beautiful, deplorable, animal, impeccable. We do not like it, so we are always forgetting. And we are always changing.
Going through the garden of remembering, I found something. A memory. A missing piece. A reality, once again, that I had merely forgotten the whole picture when in fact the truth had been before me all along.
'I will build a garden of remembering. And there the dreams will dream.' Or so I kept insisting.
I wanted to go into the water. I always want to go into the water; it's another world beneath the surface. There one can hide, dream, soar, even fly. But one cannot live, for it is not the world of life, and thus I am forever barred from this glorious world.
Three years. It has only been three years, yet it feels like longer. It always does, I suppose, dying. I'm not dead, mind. I can't be, as I never really was alive. I was merely a dream, a puppet, a mask. Merely a dream to be discarded.
I was known in my time. Lady of Butterflies, Princess of Darkness... Mistress of Typos. The funny things was, I was nothing my dreamer was not. And she never bothered to hide any of it, either. We were just... different. Different upbringings, different directions, different stories, but the same motivations. Same wills and dreams. Same final resting place, for a few years at least. But things change.
A definite maybe...
Why do we remember the past and not the future?
Thus is the nature of memory. Past and future are relative.
Zombiebaron zombiebaron zombiebaron. Zombiebaron, zombiebaron!
Ostriches have scary teeth.
We're knitting a sweater out of potato salad.
I refuse to let Uncyclopedia go idle!
The mind is trained to discern patterns: numbers, words, and faces... patterns. This is powerful for aiding social interaction, but when faced with oddities it will only cause pain. How does one un-train the mind?
It is another world, and yet it looks so close to home. It is simply dead, dead and desolate, stretching from horizon to horizon and past each horizon lies only more death, more desolation. It is a setting of monumental loneliness, coming so far to an alien world only to see so much nothing.
Don't attack an engineer. They know maths.
I have looked upon the face of a vorlon... and nothing is the same anymore.
They are a dying people. We should let them pass.
You'll have to excuse me. I'm in the middle of 15 things, all of them annoying.
Gods by the bushel, gods by the pound... gods for every occasion!
What does love have to do with marriage?
The lovely are the ones that are quietly nuts, I've found, not those with screaming and depravity but the ones with simple manic joy, straight-jacketed in the corner and humming merrily as the butterflies flutter by. I'll admit, that's not the direction the people usually take them, but when they do, it is rather glorious. Like walking through a garden of little dreams.
Understanding is a triple-edged fish.
The willows must scuttle carefully.
You seek meaning... listen to the music, not the song.
A herring is just a herring.
Dear Santa, I want a death ray and an ox and a rocket propelled chainsaw and a large moose and...
How much of an effect could fairy wings have on a semi?
I'm on the brink of showing you my love, and how it goes to heaven and above. A sweet expression: 'Sincerely yours for life.' I wish to give you kisses from my knife.
Nuts nuts nuts nutter nut nut.
It's like being nibbled to death by cats.
If you are going to kill me, then do so. Otherwise I have considerable work to do.
Sometimes the universe requires a change of perspective.
Why do storms have eyes? What do they see?
Not mad? How is this not mad? It is a mad poet's depiction of madness; how much more mad can you get?
Given an infinite number of monkeys, it is inevitable they will eventually evolve to appreciate the benefits of a well-shined rifle.
Never fear answers. Fear running out of questions.
I'm holding a knife, wondering where the bullets go.
Is it pretentious to assume I'm pretentious?
I'm participating!
Damn it all. My feet hurt, I'm hungry, and my arm is bleeding, and I've no way out. Had no way in, either. That's what caused the other problems, getting in...
How, exactly, would two free, open-source software groups get in an all-out software war?
Picking his teeth with a toothpick of solid gold...
I have 15 wild badgers living in my trousers.
You can get more with a kind word and a two-by-four than you can get with just a kind word.
My train went swimming in the piano.
I am nothing more than another mind caught in the middle of a mindless war.
The beautiful are the ones that are quietly mad, raving in the shadows. Dreaming, always dreaming.
Sometimes, I will say thing that make no sense at all, and see what meaning people make out of them. Sometimes, it can be quite surprising, indeed.
My only goal now is to hear your tortured screams!
When she was swallowed by the sand she gave out such a blood-curdling scream... She's so cute.
Okay, so... Everybody else expires at noon while I destroy your city. Then, say noonish, I return and devise some way to destroy you.
Oh, should I tremble at the painted toes of her dainty little feet?
Well, I could rave all night, but... I've got a city to destroy.
Are you clear on just how excrutiatingly painful my powers can be?!
Don't you dare to slink away while I'm ranting!
Why conquer it? Oh, because it's there.
If you wish to know me, my words and actions are laid out as clear as the night. Questioning will only induce evasion.
The night is clearer than ink. Well, our nights are. In the winter, at least. Cracking with cold and faint lights mingled with darkness, the sky so high up that the very presence of the air makes your head spin. Nights don't get much clearer than that.
There is method in my madness. There is madness in my method.
Do not ever think they come easily, these words upon words upon words... I do not know them any more than you do before they come. I just put them together and then they have meaning. That's the funny thing about language. It is never easy until it comes together.
Words are like strings coming out of my mouth. ...Or my fingertips, in most cases.
Every problem is a nail... and you are holding a wrench. What is wrong with this picture?
Prove it. Does it really work? Does it always work?
There is no reason for anything. Reason is merely an illusion we suffer, and an illusion we suffer for.
There is no home but for heartbreak.
Emily. Emily! Listen to me. it's all right. It's all right; I'm here.
Is this the library? Have we come so far?
These are the sparkles of death.
Get your slimy souls off me!
It's an impossible sofa.
It is an impossible sofa. A great mystery, unquantifiable, unsolvable. We all have them, little things we find that simply cannot be and yet they are nonetheless there, before us, taunting, tantalising, jarring our very perception of reality. There is no reason, no explanation, no hope of understanding. They are simply impossible. And they are sofas. And they are what make the universe worth living in.
Hold a moment... I'm trying to decide if I should be insulted. I mean, you solicit a mercenary and you do not even offer good quid?
There's a downstairs in everybody.
Hurt you? Of course we're going to hurt you. Everybody gets hurt.
Those who ask don't get. And those who don't ask don't want.
Everyone's got to eat a peck of dirt before they die.
You're ugly, you're hairy, and you're covered in shit. But you're mine, and I love you!
I would feel infinitely more comfortable in your presence if you would agree to treat gravity as a law, rather than one of a number of suggested options.
Events do not occur apart and singly. Anything worth the hunting has a cost.
Nothing is too cute and sweet to be dangerous.
So... it's wash off the blood and sleep on the floor, or skip the bath and sleep ing the tub. Choices... Always choices.
Our existence deforms the universe.
They say I'm hard and I am hard. They say I'm a bastard, and I'll tell you what. I am a bastard. A hard, tough bastard. A tough, hard bastard with a pumpkin for a head.
Lady, I'm your worst nightmare - a pumpkin with a gun!
I think bad things have happened. I feel them in my socks.
You've made your bed and now you must eat it.
I should put on a face, now. Go out into the world and pretend to be a member of society...
Have you a rope out of which to construct a hamburger?
Be vague enough, and it could mean anything. Sometimes it is more important what other people make of it than whatever you may have intended...
Standing at the edge of the world, this is the place to be. This is where the dreams begin and the realities end. The edges are rough. Nothing is as it seems.
Fran said she saw something the other day, something dark, still, inexplicable. Something inherently and indescribably horrific. She couldn't describe it.
I paid too much attention to a guard... bit into his eyeball. I meant it as a sign of affection.
We're taking over the world with quarters. It's a very slow and intricate process.
Drive your cart and your plough over the bones of the dead.
Dip him in the river who loves water.
Think in the morning, act in the noon, eat in the evening, sleep in the night.
If others had not been foolish, we should be so.
A firm persuation that a thing is so makes it so.
Because they are unhappy... they need somebody more unhappy than they are.
A workforce full of retards is a retarded workforce.
It's the silence... the damned, deafening silence...
Peeling apples using a blade that could destroy mountains. Keeping light in the furnace using fire that could burn away oceans.
Look, it was deleted because, and I can't stress this enough, I don't know what I'm doing. Now, read that in a way that doesn't make me look bad.
I will not be disturbed! Not in the hour of my final triumph.
I stand by my batmoose.
What is this monolith that grows here, unabated? What is this madness that consumes the entire world? Nothing, dear, nothing. Just the wind.
It was born in a primordial soup of radioactive sewage...
I am here, calling with the voice of madness, the voice of dreams... calling, always calling. I am here eternal.
Take anything out of context and it could come across poetical. Take anything into context and it could come across poetical. Take anything solely in context and the poetry will fail.
What, what?
There's a pigeon on your head. You've got headpigeons. Get to the nurse before they spread to the other children.
Confusion is the elephant in the porcelain cupboard.
The wish is the father of the thought.
Between dream and deed there are people in the way, and practical objections.
As the inn-keeper is, he trusts his guests.
It is as meaningful as a flag on a mud barge.
We are walking on eggshells. Nobody knows the strengths of the others, and so we tread carefully, prying, prodding, considering every response, every answer, every silence, waiting for a slip. It is a game of patience played out in masks, as futile and intricate as the most convoluted of politicking.
In the omission one recognizes the master.
Waiting is a funny feeling.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
There is no safety. There is no end. The word must be heard in silence. There must be darkness to see the stars. The dance is always danced above the hollow place, above the terrible abyss.
But you must love cats! In a perfect world, all the people would be like cats are, at two o'clock in the afternoon.
In 1996, the war was gathering. The pieces were slowly falling into place, laying the foundation for the greatest cataclysm anyone would ever know... and now we are here.
Life is strange and the alternatives even stranger.
It is not a standard of rigorous proof to say, 'yeaaah, we can kind of see that. Now let's go to lunch.'
I couldn't stop thinking about it and had dreams about it all night last night.
There is no HUD. There is no map. But there are trees... lots and lots of trees.
The music is almost parasitic, causing your skin to crawl, creeping up your spine and embedding itself in your brain.
Be nice to him! He can be a princess if he wants to!
I've killed it. UGH! Everything I touch gets ruined!
Oh, don't get your knickers in a twist, Megan. I'm too lazy to take over the Darkside.
Rules are made to be broken... as are gumballs.
I DON'T CARE that I'm not making any sense. It's my theory, and I'm sticking to it.
What happened to our little truce? Why, it had a fatal accident...
She tipped the ambassador in the pit and threw astrologers at him!
I think you lost it long ago, quite frankly...
What will I do? What will I do?! I will boil everyone in chocolate until they are dead!!
Why so much fuss about sandwiches? I say put all three sandwiches in a blender and serve with ice.
These are not the sysops you are looking for. Move along, move along...
Crossdressing always has been your solution for everything.
The Goddess protects me from angry hornets, forever and always!
Do not sabotage my paranoia with facts and reason.
Take me now, subcreature!
I'm an elf.
Percolating as need, frenzied sloths regard their captors with tables turned.
Humor is like reverse jenga, played using CAT scanners.
Would understanding really clarify, though? Or would the randomness only become bigger, more elaborate and more intricately convoluted? Perhaps one could become less vague in general, but there is something strange about comprehension - the more specific things become, the more remains unknown. The more that is seen, the more one will realise what lies out of sight, and the more utterly intangible reality becomes.
Without nightmares, there would be no dreams, and without dreams, reality is too tasteless to bear.
A tent full of grasshoppers never felt so good.
If there are any changes in the data... eh... taco beam, let me know.
Cuteness solves everything.
Why must pain hurt so much?!
I'm a Gazelle on the plain of life!
They teach us what other people have already discovered so that we do not have to... but in time, we forget how to discover altogether. We only know how to be taught. Not to think. Not to dream.
Now, we are just as confused, but at a much higher level.
I'm trying to think... call each idea, each possibility NP-complete... they reduce to each other. And they're impossible sofas!
With trivial power comes trivial responsibility.
Light travels faster then sound, which is why some people appear bright... until you hear them speak.
In a moment, anything can be perfect relative to anything else. Then the moment dies and the elses change...
I spackled a cat.
Folks often still work with folks they despise simply because they haven't the grounds to fill out the paperwork to do otherwise.
It's certainly possible to live with different belief systems, but when there is conflict, "reality" usually wins.
Everything is sinister if you make it out to be! Or nothing. Cookie?
Anyone can decide something is the case, and if one is resolute enough, it will really be the case... if only for a little bit. But minds are curious things.
Uncertainty makes your brain sexy.
Language is a funny thing. Sometimes you understand it and know exactly what it means and sometimes it makes those weird twists and becomes something else entirely.
I shall slip unnoticed through the darkness... like a dark, unnoticeable slippy thing.
It's like trying to find a need... no, not a needle, something smaller than a needle, in a haystack, when you don't even know if you're in the right field.
Ha! You may think I'm a hardhearted black sock, but underneath this dark woolly exterior is a naked pink foot.
Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can do the day after.
My mum always said: 'It's a dog-eat-dog world, son. You get them before they get you. Eat your greens. Stop embarrassing me in front of the neighbors. Maybe it would best if you leave home and never come back!' She wasn't even my real mum. She bought me from a man.
You can't run away from home without destroying someone's world.
We'll do things that rich people do. We'll bathe in... fish. And eat our weight in chocolate buttons!
I'm sorry, but all in all, it is completely, utterly, unarguably, quintessentially hopeless.
Don't let them see you're afraid.
Sometimes, you just have to say sorry.
Remember what your mother said.
You'd have made a lousy waiter.
I wasn't worried until you told me not to worry.
How do you know if you're happy or sad without a mask? Or angry? Or ready for dessert?
I have a face.
We used to have a marvellous sun, shone like anything, all over the place. Once we had days, nights... With suns and moons and all those little twinkly things. But those days are gone.
In the beginning, she found herself in a new and empty space. And all was white, and the corners were a bit flaky, and the carpet was a bit manky... but it was a good space.
Why don't you look out of the window?
The charges are laid, the fuse is lit, the conversational excavation under way.
It's just the interminable ravings of an unsound and enormous mind, I expect. Very big. Not very bright.
Remember, I don't know what I'm talking about.
You were right, and I was not as right as you were.
The main character can't handle real life, and the male lead is a very important man. He has a tower.
There are words to describe the greatness of madness, but they are the Mad Words, and this way of communicating is incapable of reproducing them. Because the Mad Words cannot be reproduced, only spoken from the lips of the truly mad.
Look! An idiot!
A rich imagination is not unhealthy! Contrarywise, it makes me prepared for dangerous situations. If we were to be invaded by little blue men with an obsession for spoons and sentences about masks, who do you think would survive their army of giant pink rhinos?
This one time I found a toad in a bucket. It was dead.
CatMan is really a cat, man.
Sweet sleep! Enshroud me in thine fogencumbered wreath. Oh! To forget the world, and all of its dealings! Sleep, here I present myself to worship you. Come quickly, sweet Nemesis, I beg of you.
That's the funny thing about words. They're not mine. They're never mine. At least... not entirely.
Ugh... I like GUIs...
Goodbye, Haydrahliene...
No time, no time... never any time...
Hands for the world, hands for spite.
Never trust a man who knows only truth; he will try to tell it to you, and it will all be wrong.
The entire room is alive, full of chatter and light and life, excitement and bemusement and complete and utter disparity. It is a grand room, this atrium. A grand room.
I didn't mean anything. Even when I told the honest man I loved him, all I meant was love.
There is always hope, even when it's cruel.
Unfortunately, I fail at failing at failure.
We still remember, even if the memories aren't even our own...
Anything can always become something somewhere. Nothing is just a dream dreamt by people who cannot imagine everything.
And then, without any warning, there were tentacles everywhere.
Surely the point of inside is to find a way out... and surely the point of outside is to find a way in.
From freedom comes elegance.
From freedom comes laziness.
Life... loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it.
What happens if the Old Gods perish? Does the song die with them?
The blood is the key. The blood is always the key.
Perhaps I should have killed it while it slept.
He dashed his head on the wall. Odd. Don't all living beings strive for survival?
Interesting, yes... lots of mad people questioning madness. Some plead sanity, some insanity, but neither group really know what they're talking about.
Every room has a door. At least... some of the time.
My hovercraft is full of eels.
Yes, we have no bats.
Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hang onto.
Keep away! The sow is mine.
Get away from my baby!
Dead is the new Alive.
The chickens are in the hayloft.
The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems.
I remember everything. I remember too much, and... some of it's made up, and... some of it can't be quantified, and... there's secrets.
Post-holer. Digging holes for posts.
Two by two. Everyone has a match, a mate, a doppler. I love you.
Bible's broken; contradictions, false logistics. Doesn't make sense.
'Day' is a vestigial mode of time measurement based on solar cycles. It's not applicable...
They're doing it backwards, walking up the downslide.
Sun came out, and I walked on my feet and heard with my ears. I ate the bits, the bits stayed down, and I work. I function like I'm a girl. I hate it because I know it'll go away. The sun goes dark and chaos has come again. Bits. Fluids. What am I?!
My food is problematic.
They say the snow on the roof was too heavy. They say the ceiling will cave in. His brains are in terrible danger.
She understands. She doesn't comprehend.
You've got issues. ...You talk too much.
How fine you look when dressed in rage. Your enemies are fortunate your condition is not permanent. You're lucky, too. Red eyes suit so few.
Only the insane equate pain with success.
Here's a riddle: When is a croquet mallet like a billy club? I'll tell you: Whenever you want it to be!
Were you impolite at table? Did you slurp your tea? Or talk while chewing? Confess your crime.
I'm afraid I have to expel a rather ferocious hairball. You're on your own, girl.
Every adventure requires a first step. Trite, but true, even here.
Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head! Off... with... her... head. Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head.
Your interference will not be tolerated.
Raw, well-ordered, ruthless, careening off the jagged edge of reality.
Retreat into the sterile safety of your self-delusions or risk inevitable annihilation.
The uninformed must improve their deficit or die.
If you knew time as well as I, you wouldn't dream of wasting it!
I'm not edible.
This was ridiculous. The last thing he needed now was to be killed. It would require all sorts of explanations. They didn't hand out new bodies just like that; they always wanted to know what you'd done with the old one. It was like trying to get a new pen from a particularly bloody-minded stationery department.
The nice thing about using your own code is you can code in whatever functionality you want. The problem with using your own code is that whenever you encounter a limitation in the functionality, it's your own damn fault.
And then the blackness behind the Universe exploded, and each particular piece of blackness was the furious smoke of hell. And the nothingness behind the blackness behind the Universe erupted, and the nothingness behind the shattered Universe was at last the dark figure of an immense man speaking immense words.
Chicago happened slowly, like a migraine.
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe; all mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe.
Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way.
"You're no help," he told the lime. This was unfair. It was only a lime; there was nothing special about it at all. It was doing the best it could.
He was wearing yesterday's clothes, and he wished he wasn't. His mother had always told him to wear clean underwear, in case he was hit by a car, and to brush his teeth, in case they needed to identify him by his dental records.
For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to a: mate with, b: eat, c: run away from, and d: rocks.
The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel. This is essentially the basis of all military thinking.
They'd come here to spoon and, on one memorable occasion, fork.
There was an unconnected fax machine with the intelligence of a computer and a computer with the intelligence of a retarded ant.
It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.
Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
When Mister Safety Catch is not on, Mister Crossbow is not Your Friend.
Give a man a fire and you warm him for a day. But set a man on fire and you warm him for his lifetime.
Most people don't realise how important librarians are. I ran across a book recently which suggested that the peace and prosperity of a culture was solely related to how many librarians it contained. Possibly a slight overstatement, but a culture that doesn't value its librarians doesn't value ideas and without ideas, well, where are we?
"Ah! But we have, in our dreams," answered the children; and the Mathematical Master frowned and looked very severe, for he did not approve of children dreaming.
Of course this is happening inside your head, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
I lost some time once. It's always in the last place you look for it.
Have you ever had one of those days when something just seems to be trying to tell you somebody?
Being in love was like China; you knew it was there, and no doubt it was very interesting, and some people went there, but I never would. I'd spend all my life without ever going to China, but it wouldn't matter, because there was all the rest of the world to visit.
There was blood all over my penguins. I didn't give a damn about the walls and carpet. They could be replaced, but I'd collected those damned stuffed toys over years.
But we who know life naturally don't care one ounce about numbers!
You exist, without name, without form. You cannot see the light of day; you cannot see the dark. You sold the green earth and the sun and stars to save yourself. But you have no self. All that which you sold, that was your self. You have given everything for nothing. And so now you seek to draw the world to you, all that light and life you lost, to fill up your nothingness. But it cannot be filled.
Not all the songs of earth, not all the stars of heaven, could fill your emptiness.
By the way, I'll tell you that in Belgian Congo there's not a single person who tells the truth. They just lie all day long. Start at seven in the morning and keep at it until nightfall. So if I lie a little now and then, it's just because I've spent a little too much time in Belgian Congo.
Only a fool thinks he knows what is in a woman's mind only because she's smiling.
Fat Charlie wondered what Rosie's mother would usually hear in a church. Probably just cries of 'Back! Foul beast of Hell!' followed by gasps of 'Is it alive?' and a nervous enquiry as to whether anybody had remembered to bring the stakes and hammers.
Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.
You don't notice the dead leaving when they really choose to leave you. You're not meant to. At most you feel them as a whisper or the wave of a whisper undulating down. I would compare it to a woman in the back of a lecture hall or theatre whom no one notices until she slips out. Then only those near the door themselves, like Grandma Lynn, notice; to the rest it is like an unexplained breeze in a closed room.
But damn, Hester, you don't hit a drunk man with a stick.
He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
The most important thing isn't to never fall down. The most important thing is to always get back up.
My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
The big ships hung in the air, just like a brick won't.
She says nothing at all, but simply stares upward into the dark sky and watches, with sad eyes, the slow dance of the infinite stars.
Books are mirrors: you only see in them what you already have inside you.
You're in a bad mood. But I suppose being stabbed twice in the same night with your own knife would do that to anybody.
All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring; renewed shall be blade that was broken, the crownless again shall be king.
It takes a very special and very strong-minded kind of atheist to jump up and down with their hand clasped under their other armpit and shout "Oh, random fluctuations-in-the-space-time-continuum!" or "Aaargh, primitive-and-outmoded-concept on a crutch!"
What I want from you is... your voice.
I'm not asking much! Just a token, really, a trifle! You'll never even miss it...
Get thee to a nunnery!
I was forging documents before your parents were born.
Senseless violence, infliction of pain and control and death, general psychopathy, it is all very well and fine. But leave the cats out of it. The cats are sacred.
There is a strange euphoria in remembering. It is... like dreaming.
Hmm... let's see if the mongoose will take my madness gracefully...
I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
Dry bones. Memory is dry bones... flesh it out as you go.
We see patterns. We see what we know. What we think we know, what we want to know...
To assume that the laws of nature are universal, that is a very large assumption.
Maths. Just maths. Everything is maths.
My hamster stole my brainses, love. My hamster did it.
It's just a theory. Not a fact.
It's just a fact. Not a theory.
Neutrinos pass through everything, no matter how dense.
Subtraction is dangerous.
Operating under the assumption that the assumption is valid, the assumption is no more valid than the assumption that precedes it. Which assumption is valid?
Reality is just a minor detail for you, isn't it?
Thinking is the essence of humans.
Reject everything. Deconstruct the world and only doubt remains. But doubt is the basis of thought, and thought is the basis of madness.
Slug-racing is a sport.
There aren't enough numbers.
Suddenly, all the nonsense made sense. And all the sense made nonsense.
All statements are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense.
Analogue gave way to digital. It was large, bulky, superfluous... digital is small. Clean. Precise. Too precise. Suddenly everything is so very finite, and the superfluous from the analogue is missed... so don't define so precisely. Define the analogue in digital terms, but vaguely. Not how it is, but how to make it... and suddenly it is as if the infinite lives once more. Analogue lives once more.
The internet is run by magic. Those hamsters you hear about, powering the servers? They're magic hamsters.
I believe you have something of mine. My mind, where is it?
Do what I want, not what I say!
People are convinced that their experiences are real. This 'naïve conviction' only serves to alienate the reality of their experiences from others.
Fred, shut up.
I'd rather be happy than right any day.
Was it worth the pain?
How can something be listed vaguely in only precise terms?
There is no story here.
The reason that I don't use a yo-yo in my live performances is that my previous attempts at yo-yoing have ended with my being struck in the genitals by a yo-yo.
At first I thought that the world was starting to go crazy; then I realized it was only because I hadn't been paying attention before.
Consistency is key.
Reality is subjective; that is the entire basis of the Madness. It would not work if the realities were shared, but then, if reality was shared, would there be any such thing as madness?
Is leaving a toilet seat up the only way for a man to assert his masculinity?
So what changed?
It cost too much, staying human.
Rained, rained, rained, and never stopped.
Oh no, a logical thought, logical thought, banish it, banish it! And I like the Beatles.
Every statement becomes more nonsensical if you say the word 'yes' after it, which makes no sense. Which is the point. To not make sense. Yes.
Your pathetic façade is as transparent as the drool on your face!
This is bigger than pizza! This is the fate of all mankind!
I'm in a bear suit!
Engineers like urns.
Get off my head!
I was a fairy princess once. Everything was so nice and peaceful... until it all went horribly wrong!
Only the darkest souls from the worst pockets of hell would... decorate.
According to scientists, in the beginning there was nothing, but later on something scientifically appeared.
Nothing earns you geek points like installing Linux on a dead badger.
Sleep... I remember sleep... maybe I should try that again sometime.
There is evidence that our unconscious minds can be more effective at many tasks than our conscious minds. I put this to use by distracting my concious mind with snacks and puppet shows while making most of my important decisions.
'If only'... if only. Does it go the other way? Is that what people mean, 'only if'? Only if it had transpired thusly, things would have been better... but so many other factors could have improved them; they just didn't.
There is no memory before forgetting. The aliens aren't real until you make them up.
I believe in probability.
Accurate spelling is a side effect of eating too much walrus butt.
It's really hard to want to chase somebody who smells that bad.
I sure like TV. And wearing pants.
I could see the squirrels, and they were married.
This space intentionally left filled by this message.
Flash... bulb...
There is a word that is left misremembered. It is a word born of spontaneity, spoken in the moment, offhand, irrelevant, astounding and odd. It is spoken; it is considered. It is remarked upon - 'that is a nice word' and there are affirmations all around... and then the topic shifts and it is forgotten. The word is left unremembered.
I know nothing.
You get that when you open a door that is not there with a key that does not exist...
An engineer is a person who thinks the person to whom he is speaking is yawning a lot simply due to tiredness.
We are very sophisticated. We have just proven that the expected value of 5 is 5.
Cheese is so slippery...
There are only three colours. All others are simulacra rendered of the three; natural wavelengths are impossible to simulate.
I am Maxwell. I make multiple passes, building off what is there with each successive pass; the first is only the roughest of drafts, but then they build from the graininess to create something smooth and impeccable and grand. Leave me be, and I will go on indefinite. I am a renderer that exists only for a renderer's sake; all else is immaterial. Literally.
What do you think science is? That's where the maths comes from.
The road to truth goes through dreams and madness.
A rain of cows!
Illogicopedia is questionable.
When it comes to words, I'm willing to assume quite a lot.
Naïve Gaussian elimination - Gaussian elimination that works properly so long as nothing goes wrong.
The madnesses of an unfettered mind are tantamount to silence.
You could render the entire thing in vectors... but that would make for horrible animation.
Hope is the best spice to bring out despair.
Other people are not me. To be not me, all I need to be is someone else.
Though they accuse me of lies, so does my grunteloid plop onto a roof tile.
All good things come with strings.
Foolish, foolish. Very foolish. Foolish meat things.
There's... fragments. Bits and fluids. They don't fit together anymore. An apple, once chewed and swallowed, cannot be reassembled.
Meat, blood, bones. Muscle. Fluids. Empty space. Bits and pieces. There's skin. Sinew. Organs. All making it up. All made up of even smaller things.
His younch must be festering.
How many unfinished projects do I have? How many unanswered dreams? What I am I forgetting?
No matter how wise the question, the answer depends entirely on the mind of the answerer.
Teetering on the edge of the funny farm, only music keeps the voices out.
"Sounds like my kind of party," said the drat, and jumped over the edge of the punch-bowl.
"I will do nothing!" she yelled defiantly, and ceased existing.
I was pondering the wonders of evolution. If everything did come from goo, then how did it know to make eyes to see the light that it didn't know existed?
This day will be devoted to silent study. I'll want to hear silence from all of you!
'Strange people,' thought Charles Rowland. He found himself wondering about insanity; but adults were strange, and he had few criteria by which to judge them.
In satire, irony is militant.
As my uncle Braceforth used to say, 'There are very few problems that cannot be made better with a night's sleep, breakfast, and a pickaxe.' He never went more than two miles from the warren in his life, but the principle still holds.
That's none of your business!
Who are you?
Batteries included.
I knew it was going to be in the last place I looked for it. So I looked there first!
I think you're very nice. I think twinkle's a nice word. So's viridian. I met a lady once who had an imaginary fish.
When you say words a lot they don't mean anything. Or maybe they don't mean anything anyway and we just think they do.
I'm always afraid he's laughing at me. Behind his face.
I came to see you. I mean I wanted to talk, too. Not just see.
I was thinking. I can do that. Think. Still do that. I mean, even when I forget how to... how to... what was I saying?
One day the Earth will hatch and a baby space whale will emerge from the shell.
Sometimes, you have to live in your nightmares to overcome them. If you embrace madness, you can discover truths that are invisible to the eye clouded by logic.
I don't conveniently forget anything. I just forget everything.
Happiness will prevail.
The frog, filled with joy, ran into the streets and was immediately hit by a car.
Please don't sue us right now; our lawyer is passed out in an alley from too much moonshine, so please at least wait until he's found and doesn't have a huge hangover...
I loathe bus stations. Terrible places, full of lost luggage and lost souls.
Tell them to give them back to me. And give us somewhere the sun shines, and pony rides and ice-cream and a place to go...
There are shadows on your heart. Dark ones, too...
Are we planning on getting shot with arrows frequently, then?
Of course we're planning on getting shot with arrows! Didn't you get the memo?
Sorry, mom... I'll excavate it tomorrow...
I feel like I've been run over by a mine cart. And the donkey it was attached to.
Not that wombats would ever burn a witch, but someone would definitely come 'round and have a quiet word with their parents.
Eh, done is done. The rock is split, might as well carve it as cry over it.
No, there was an arrow hole in your shoulder. I had to make a much bigger hole to get the head out after those idiot veiled snapped the shaft off and got it lodged under your collarbone.
Half the problem with arrows is the infections - arrow shafts are wood, and most wood soaks up bacteria like nobody's business.
Why do they call it a 'brothel?' There's no broth. Or is there? And what, even, is broth? This has always confused me.
Oh, here I am! And there you are! You just disappeared. Well, no matter!
It was magic, you know. But it sounds like he just fell asleep and is trying to cover it up. I should start using that as an excuse...
You seem like a decent enough young man. If you decide to slaughter me out of hand, I'm sure you would at least inform me first, no?
It used to get so quiet at the monastery that I would start screaming until one of the brothers came running. I would tell them that I was just checking. You never know, right?
Now here in Ferelden, we do things right. We take our ingredients, throw them into the largest pot we can find, and cook them for as long as possible until everything is a uniform grey color. As soon as it looks completely bland and unappetizing, that's when I know it's done.
He had a marvelous beard though. I'd never seen one before. I thought a squirrel had grabbed him by the chin.
If they flew into the sky, they could live in the clouds.
What would they eat in the clouds? There is nothing there but fluff and the occasional bird.
Look, Fred. I'm an engineer. We engineers like to use very precise terminology when we talk about our thingamabobbers.
Hurry up and wait.
Sleep is when you close your eyes and lose consciousness. Or when you hit someone with a frying pan often enough, but not enough to kill 'em.
Merciful mother of moles...
It's a squash. I'm being attacked - or possibly romanced - by an angry squash.
Git back, y' cursed veggie!
They were particularly confused and awed by the vampire squash of the Balkans. Almost as much as the children-hunting fireflies of West Africa and the toe-nail eating ramanga of Madagascar. Before you get to worrying about the sanctity of your feet, normal people would be safe, as these vampires would only feast on the blood and toe-nail clippings of nobility.
There's a coupla big watermelons over in t'west corner that I wouldn't want t'get behind me.
There must've been a hole there in the wall!
Well, thank you, sir, for saving me from the evil squash.
There's something absurdly cheering about being attacked by a vampire squash. I mean, you gotta laugh.
No one in their right mind could fail to be fascinated by the prospect of ditch digging.
There's no such thing as a joyless root cellar.
You know, just once I'd like to have a conversation with you that didn't raise as many questions as it answered...
Cheri, it's not paranoia when even the vegetables are out to get you.
I'm a demon! I'm a demon! Woo!
Are there other demons? Do they come from dead birds? Can we find them? Will they eat shadows with me?
I always aspired to be a dirt fish...
Fire burn, but not being bad, just being fire.
I just had a flashback to a set of speech-bubbles written in typewriter font. Voices in the dark, and the lefthand names of god...
You know that little tingling sensation, that itch of foresight or sideways realisation at the back of your brain, that feeling when the hairs on the back of your neck rise and bits of your vestigial reptilian neuron-architecture start firing mad signals at the rest of your mind - the feeling when you realise something that you are so unsure if it could be possible you slide up to the idea sideways because you are afraid, if you look at the idea you have had face on, it might wriggle away? You know that feeling? Of realising something that is possibly nothing but might, might just come to be true?
Ed is not trusting god rats.
You said it, Ed.
I'll bet you diamonds to dolomitic conglomerates!
Hmm. Well, demons are just the gods that your gods tell you are evil, really. And the gods are your gods because they got there first.
Gods big things, not safe.
And so we shouted our joy of life across the canvas of the world, that those who came after might share in the fullness of our lives.
Gastropodz rule.
Digging beats fishing a spear out of your spleen any day.
Goodness, is that my pickaxe in your gut? And is this your pickaxe in my eye?
Look, if you're expecting me to apologize for damaging a family heirloom, let me just point out that you were trying to skewer me with it.
There ought to be laws against smugness.
You know... once you get used to the searing pain, the flashing colors are really quite pretty...
"It's okay," she told herself, "I've just gone mad is all. A little caffeine will fix it up nicely."
Remember your roots.
Jane Fonda must wear a hat at all times.
But how could I forget? Nothing I remember is real.
Nothing happens, nobody comes, nobody goes, it's awful!
The sight of a statue of Ganesha gracefully sliming its way up the street at a stately two miles an hour, dispensing infinite unconditional compassion and a fine antiseptic mucus as it went, would be a sight to see.
I'll kill it! I'll break its face and feed it gravel through a straw! I'll - I'll - ! I will construct its dwelling using inferior materials!
Gods are just no match for doctors.
So they sat down in the dirt, and they cried, cried cried - But we whacked 'em with our shovels and they died, died, died... They said the stuff was good enough; they lied, lied lied.
Trawling the archives is neat. It's like walking through a cavern where past explorers have scrawled on the walls as they went.
Scrawled little arrows in different coloured chalk... and maybe the occasional suggestive limerick, as well.
Are all of your people so tactless, or just you?
Never trust anyone who speaks typewriter.
Wait - the men whose skins you were... when they died, did their shadows become deer?
Never mess with someone who specializes in comparative mythology and hand-to-hand combat. Or the the dark secrets of sorcery, necromancy, and accounting.
I do not doubt that they would skin us, but they do not seem to mean any harm by it.
It was a good cave. Wombats, for the most part, prefer burrows to caves for actually living in, and natural caves back home are generally treated as parks. Other than shoring up the unstable bits, we don't alter them much, so it's not the sort of place you'd want to retire. But it'd be a nice spot for a picnic, if you ignored all the weird little lizards who want to skin you as politely as possible.
Bound gods are pretty rare, but they're a pain when you find them. Generally we don't cut them loose - presumably if you've been bound in the bowels of the earth with a giant serpent dripping poison into your eyes, somebody had a damn good reason - but trying to work around them is always tricky, and we don't bother unless the mineral deposits are really impressive.
The Darkness is still Shining. Like Black Suns, like Fireflies of Enormous Size, like the Droppings of the Rhino that Ate the Moon.
Your metaphor's two stories tall and has ropes wrapped around it.
As my mother used to say: 'If you didn't want to go swimming, you shouldn't have tunnelled under the lake!'
If it is decided that I may continue to hunt you, I will tell you first.
Always double-check your math if there are explosives involved.
Beams of darkness streak across the sky, signals from the ancient satellite.
Interesting how 'trying to kill and eat someone' can after time become 'initial unpleasantness'.
Being good, explaining badly, is still better than being evil and is explaining well!
I like him. His spine sounds like daffodils.
They're quicker'n a greased porpoise in a sea 'o snot!
Squithmpglugh: The sound of a large gourd committing a kamikaze assault. Difficult to render phonetically at the best of times.
Maybe if you're an evil vampire vegetable, you're happy to go out in the act of bludgeoning someone to death.
Man, you lead one problem into a field of killer squash, and it only makes more problems...
Narrowly escaping death through a clever use of undead vegetables...
You'll have to go about ninety miles east to Khalighat, for the nearest smiting god. If you like, I could lend you a metaphorical pigeon, or perhaps move a boulder out of your way if you don't mind meditating as I give you strength before doing the actual pushing with your own paws.
What good is a god that doesn't fossilize?!
We cannot plant tomatoes in that corner, or they grow little antlers and fight each other. I will not risk eggplant. It's lettuce or nothing, I fear.
Oh, thank goodness. You'd hate to sit on a dead saint.
I could get in your head if you want, but it looks kind of crowded. I'm amazed there's room for you in there.
How do you know if something can talk? What if it only talks under certain specific circumstances, like if you dance with it under the third full moon of a new century in the rain?
Everything is approximate. Each new approximation improves upon the last, but it is still an approximation, based upon a balance of what we want, what we notice, and what the platform is even capable of.
Haydrahlienne. Haydrahlienne. Who are you, Haydrahlienne?
My heart is in a jar upon the wall. Where is yours?
Lighting never was my strong point.
Blast those engineers! They control the structures of the world, and yet what do they do with it? Nothing! Nothing at all!
Think about... er... moles. Yes. Nice moles. With velvety snouts and soft fur. Happy moles. Gamboling in a tunnel. I'm in my happy place. With moles.
Oh, deary me, I seem to have gone deaf from the neck up.
You shouldn't eat anything that talks, unless it was already dead and its relatives ask you to do so.
Hangover? Suffering Hypervitaminosis A poisoning? Vomiting? Gods got ya? Got that just-went-to-a-party-reeking-of-warrior-herbs-then-got-shitfaced-on-mead-and-sleapt-it-off-on-the-floor smell hanging around your fur? Feel like a family of incontinent ferrets did the same thing then slept in your mouth? Convinced someone lodged your own pickaxe in your head? Trying to explain comparative ethics to a sentient shadow whilst coming down after mixing alcohol, testosterone-boosting herbs and unrefined opiates? Birds singing far too loud whist the day DARES to be anything other than overcast? Try new aspirin-flavoured Mountain Dew! For the wombat on the go!
Life was a lot easier when I just wanted to be a bird.
Hey! I'm ordinary as dirt!
Before we had awesome game controllers, we had sheep's knuckles.
Don't look at me. Stupid map doesn't even tell you how the air is supposed to smell.
Gag me with a spoon!
My darling, my carrion-scented flower, you gnaw my liver...
Let us enter into a binding legal contract together until the stars fall from the sky, as determined in subparagraph F, section 12!
Yup, they'll get along like a house on fire. In the middle of an earthquake.
Unless you desire, deep down in your heart (or liver), to be French, end sentences with prepositions whenever you feel like it.
It's not just you, the ceiling really is melting.
I ate its shadow! It was flaky and moist!
'Data' is plural.
Destiny: the annoying supernatural obstructive bureaucrat whom you want to punch but can't so instead you set its paperwork on fire and do things your way.
What does this show? Not only does destiny know where you live, but she'll invent whole new breeds of oracular mollusks to trick you into opening your door to her.
Do you have my Muskox? I can't find it. I'm starting to wonder if the manhole swallowed it, or maybe the moles? Anyway, I can't find it, and it annoys me.
That... rock... looks nothing like a bunny. Neither does that one. What are the odds?
Why, oh, why is a sock worthy of note? Do peacocks wear socks?
It is a well known that socks, left untended, develop all kinds of life. Perhaps when it's been left for a few centuries it's congealed into something with a soul. Although what could cause a sock to have shadows on its soul is beyond my ability to guess.
Overshadowed by a sock. Destiny is harsh.
I ate a sock! It had a shadow and everything! I think it was probably really dirty. It put up a fight, but it couldn't talk. I asked twice. I was very careful.
The meologists made their way across the dusty plains, guided by the single shape in the distance... "There, Wadsworth, do you see it? The EGO."
Heavenly voices make undecipherable noises.
Living in dreams isn't too bad, really, so long as you remember to wake up to eat... and sleep.
The whole world felt like an impending cave-in.
A friend might put a spear in your heart, but only an enemy will tell you it's for your own good.
Seriously, crawdads?
I have fifty books holding up my potted plant at home.
There's only one way to test this. Add a line.
Public service announcement: The strange smell in this area is coming from this plant. It is not related to the personal hygiene of the Unix team.
I'm afraid you'll never get home. Your knuckles will bleach on the prairie, and mum and dad will cry till they drown, and there'll be nothing left at all, and later the hyenas will howl over the whole thing.
What are the mathematics of tears?
I could say that 'talks with the fish people are floundering', but that would be wrong.
A man makes his own density.
My grandfather dwells within a rock shaped like a rucksack. My grandfather sits inside a rock, far inside our tunnel, boy how I wonder what on earth he's doing in there.
We hope you do not die horribly. No. It would be hard to collect your skins. Very. Yes.
Grim Eyes, I love you, but you don't have the brains the Gods gave an eggplant.
Twelve thousand years: It might sound like quite a mouthfull, but it still isn't long enough to make a good rock.
In the early days of home computers, programmers with bad haircuts and thick-rimmed glasses had to come to grips with each of the computer's components.
This user does not speak Userbox and furthermore believes Userbox to be an embarrassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Userbox.
It's a bug on a stick!
It will be well. You'll see. Here, you can hold my bug.
We all need someone who will let us hold their bug.
Count on you to find the cloud around the silver lining.
There's not really a plan, but let's pretend there is one anyway to confuse people, myself included.
All I can see is death.
I have worn so many masks... I have forgotten which one is my real face.
The universe is perfect. Mess with it at your peril.
Fear drives the universe.
Dreams aren't glowing lights. They're a random firing of stray neurons, strung together and given whatever patina of guilt or fear or lust or joy that our subconscious cares to dole out.
What are the ten radical isotopes?
No plan survives contact with life.
Reality is wider than a single mind.
And what will you put your faith in? Certainly not something so simple or unknown as the human mind; that is no more sensible that any other fallacy. But without our fallacies, what have we? Objects shall fall upwards, perhaps? Effect precedes cause... but of course it does. I am standing on my head because you are about to dare me to do so. I trust you to be you.
I've received twelve urgent messages while you were dithering about.
I'm busy saving the world from bluetooths, thankyouverymuch!
Make good fertilizer, t' vampyres do.
Golden rule of Uncyclopedia: never take on an administrator. There are certain sysops on Uncyc you simply don't want to mess with.
In the eye of the storm, there is no way out, no escape.
Crisp as a cracker.
You can lie down on a bridge and watch the water swim by. Or run, or wade through a marsh in your new red boots. Or huddle together and listen to the rain falling on the roof. It's very easy to have a good time.
Everything he said sounded wise and sensible, but later on, when you were alone again, you wouldn't understand what he had meant, and it was too embarrassing to go back and ask him.
The other day Kilimanjaro moved almost two centimeters. That was an action it had dreaded for almost a million years, at least.
One should never be thanked for one's duty.
Unmatched sets. Pieces that don't go to anything in particular...
The Madness is a collection of quotations from an unwritten story - the unwritten story that is the compilation of all other stories, written and unwritten.
All who gain power are afraid to lose it.
Over time you will evolve into a cartoon character.
My code does not have bugs. It just develops random features.
Keep treating someone like they're normal, and eventually, they may turn out to be normal.
Well, this is just depressing. I keep finding things in my garden of remembering and I can't remember what they are.
Take my advice. I don't use it anyway.
The trick for a lot of writers is to create a state of mind where you are not thinking about writing. Rather create a state of reverie, a dream state. Dreams are where other people escape from reality. But for the writer dreams are reality.
I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.
No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.
I've wrestled with reality for thirty-five years, doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won over it.
Only the shallow know themselves.
Death is cold and empty and full of cheese waffles.
Santa Claus remains terrifying until children are about 3 years old.
Muses go splat.
As they used to say of Carlos Santana: "Predictable, no. Recognizable, yes". In Santana's case it was meant as a compliment.
Light and Darkness are Eternal. Nothing probably goes on forever, too.
She's climbing the wall again, nevermind all the playground equipment behind her.
WARNING: CONTAINS COLOURS THAT MAY HAVE AN ADVERSE AFFECT ON ACTIVITY AND ATTENTION IN CHILDREN
By God, we're the lamest aliens ever.
Yes, very tragic. Completely dead. No chance of ever finding him alive.
The fallacy of the mind. It only happens to them. We are immune. We are objective. We are not doing precisely what we say is characteristic of them in saying that is it characteristic of them.
I used to want you dead. Now I just want you gone.
You keep what you kill.
Sometimes you have to drop a bomb on civilians to bring folks to the table.
If you are to be our voice, you must know our history.
Tell the spiders I don't want to tapdance!
What's the point of being better than everybody else if nobody else sees it?
I like my men like how I like my coffee - COVERED IN BEES.
We all lose our charms in the end, but diamonds... diamonds are a girl's best friend.
It is a well-known fact that a dog made of diamonds is a human's best friend.
I only speak the truth.
It's a paradox, you idiot. There is no right answer!
There is a later class called 'ethical hacking' that explores this further. Should you take this and subsequently find yourself needing to be bailed out of prison, we don't know you.
C and C++ are the chainsaws of the programming world.
People are always unhappy, and always dying.
The Greeks had it right. Gods are messed up.
Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
Computers are rote learners. That's why they can't solve problems.
A common man marvels at uncommon things; a wise man marvels at the commonplace.
Enlightened trial and error wins out over lone genious.
Beliefs and desires are information, incarnated as configurations of symbols.
AI? What's intelligent about it? Might as well call it 'Artificial Stupidity'.
Meaning can cause and be caused.
Goat-wolf-cabbage: possible, though difficult for the human mind to work out. Goat-wolf-vampiric-cabbage: no solution.
We're rich. We don't care.
The computer is about as stupid as it can be, blindly following direction. It is the perfect pet. It is a horrible assistent.
Computers are monumentally stupid.
It doesn't matter whether or not the moon is made out of cheese, just if the dog is pretty.
It's not that way because someone hated you long ago; there was an actual reason for all of this. Really.
C doesn't like you, but it is a libertarian programming language. If you want to check for something, you go right ahead, but if you didn't, well, it's not going to help you. If you'd wanted to check for that, you would have.
From freedom comes the power to ruin yourself.
Art? What do you mean? This is a table.
Casting means telling the computer, "Shut up, I know what I'm doing."
Opening a jar of a new brand of peanut butter will not vaporise the house.
A broken clock is right twice a day.
Notice: after noticing this notice, you will notice that this notice was not worth taking notice of.
NANs are like zombies. Do any operation with a NAN and it becomes a NAN.
I don't like being adaptive and flexible. Why would I want my computer to be?
Zeros will always look like zeros.
The x86 is a disgusting cesspool of computer design.
They're trying to save you money. No fancy lobby, no elaborate welcome... no working computers.
It isn't so much a matter of having dexterity as being able to use whatever dexterity you have.
I like talking about my pain because it pisses the pain off.
In life, there are few simple answers. There are, however, many simple solutions - solutions that are, naturally, utterly hateful.
You are an awful person, and I'm going to name a tomato after you. As penance.
'Load effective address long' - this is such a silly name; it has almost nothing to do with loading. It just means 'do some maths'.
It's turtles all the way down.
Your object of intent was to take of the world, was it not? Did you enlist the help of the ducks?
Everybody lives alone.
I am the catfish man I can't hear you!
It probably won a prize.
Once we have an explanation - correct or incorrect - we are complacent, at least for awhile.
Hello, do I smell a fairy?
All is well in the world of Rhin.
I'm going to go lie on the asphalt.
A verse was retooled into a bridge.
There will be expectations.
There are always expectations.
Square waves, square waves, I follow them with square waves.
The cords are modular.
The square root of rope is string.
According to the most advanced algorithms, the world's best name is Craig.
During their lifetimes, 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch.
Cumquat.
Today is tomorrow.
Tomorrow is yesterday.
We're so transparent, we're practically invisible.
I want to use my mental powers for the important things, not fritter them away on the mechanics.
We call them 'windows'. They aren't unusual.
Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can put off 'til today.
You underestimate computers. They've only been around 40-50 years... we've had thousands to figure out what we're doing. Of course they're not up to our level of comprehension.
It's slower, if by 'slower' you mean your rocket won't explode and fall out of the sky.
I have some conspiracy theorists waiting for you in my closet.
Telling people to 'conserve energy' is like telling them to make time go forward. Time always goes forward, and energy is always conserved.
Voting is in effect until the Foundation decides sufficient time has been wasted.
With roses made from madness his garden there was made, a blue world riding on the words of the dreamer's subconscious lust.
My pain belongs to the divine. It is like air. It is like water.
You blew up your own shop?!
In the old days, insane men wore blocks on their heads to be easily distinguished from theologians.
One is full of disorder and chaos and lawn gnomes. The other is order and space and half-baked plans.
We have rights, Ben, including the right to be as stubborn or thick-headed as we want.
I'm not sleeping. I'm checking my eyelids for holes.
Circle to circle, the ends cannot hold. But it doesn't matter. There are no ends to dreams, not that cannot come around once more. Now I'm going back there and I'm taking you with me, and we are going to do what should have been done all along. We are going to find the most perfect possible future... even if it is really only the past.
I'm charging by the head for this function, and you do have a head. For now.
I remember asking for a violin, but I don't remember knowing what one was. I might have thought it was a kind of pony, for all I know, but I don't remember being disappointed.
Just because his eyes are closed doesn't have to mean he's dreaming. And just because they're open, doesn't have to mean he's not.
This is a day of goats.
A bird lands on a man's head, steals his hat, and moves this hat to another man. Hence, the messenger pigeon is born: born to be bred, raised, and trained to live a controlled disturbing life under the control of humans.
Exercise makes me sweat.
Darkness only shines in the light.
Light only shines in the darkness. Innocence is simply an excuse for the guilty.
Stars are the real Time Lords.
Why, I'm just a wayward deresi, lost in a far-off land... and you, old man, what are you, but the fool who fell for her ravening dreams?
So.
One thing is certain: we're losing the peace. Which means a war might be our only hope.
The dress is fine. I don't like you.
It only works if folks say what they mean. How do you parse a metaphor?
It was fast because they basically kept pouring in more bottles of go faster.
I had to have her. And her vegetables.
Ah, the 60s... when the Ruskis were still trying to blow us all up, instead of trying sell us porn.
The operating system said, 'Oh, you naughty boy,' and killed it.
Levels of abstraction. We need to abstractify the abstraction again - represent the analog in digital so we can re-render it as analog. With digital.
Pegasus, the one-eyed wonder fish.
More insidious than a creeping mediawiki...
There's no profit in jealousy.
Study fine art... hate art forever.
Heed the words of the Prophets.
You are the dreamer. And the dream.
Sometimes, you see a story, and you dream it. You become the story.
The dirty man has a hat.
We completely ignore the metaphors. But are these novel metaphors, or common lexical forms?
Illogic gate.
They didn't know what else to do but throw more junk into it.
Suffering is important in a honeymoon.
Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz.
I'm being invaded by a cat. She's small, black, and quite stupid. And determined to assault my lap with pokes.
We want to be able to get more work done in a shorter time so we can be sloppy.
Oh, come on! He only won because he didn't die first. Anyone can do that.
I opened his heart with a scissors. Had to see what was inside.
This kind of stack is also known as an execution stack, control stack, run-time stack, or machine stack, and is often shortened to just "the stack".
Wait, let me think... was I alone in Solitary? Why yes, I think I was.
I had predicted and planned out courses of action for every possible outcome, save one: success. As a result I had no idea what to do about it when it came.
C code. All this for C code.
During the Reckoning, the people will either suffer terribly or eat fruit.
I'm your mother! I can't leave you alone.
People who are fine don't write on walls.
The best ideas often come at inconvenient times.
I don't understand you. I poke you and you do one thing. I poke you again and you do another. Then you start doing what you were doing all along all over again.
We're all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it Love.
In choosing the color of a single toolbar on one of its sites, Google served up pages with 41 different shades of blue to see which one people were most likely to click on.
Just put your favourite dead squirrel out on the street and watch what happens.
And then you have Hell, which is always so much more interesting than Heaven.
I'm not a god, I'm a security officer.
I'm sorry. It's just such an honour to be sitting here with a... security officer.
Why be a god if there's noone to worship you?
They are quick to judge and slow to forgive. They still have much to learn.
When someone says it is 'for the good of the public', you know they're trying to pull one over you.
The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law George. But unlike George, this plan just might work.
Government euphemism is contemptible not because it is a form of mind control, but because it is a form of lying.
A processor is not a little man, but something much stupider: a gadget with a fixed number of reflexes.
Whereas the left hemisphere might appreciate some of Groucho's puns, and the right hemisphere might be entertained by the antics of Harpo, only the two hemispheres unified can appreciate an entire Marx Brothers routine.
What is it for? Why, it could be for anything. Maybe it's just to look at, or to brighten a room, or to hold things in place. Maybe it sits on the lawn, taking up space over there in the corner, and people ask, 'why, what is this? Whatever purpose could it possible serve?' And that is its purpose. That is what it is for.
'Heuristic' - fancy word for 'guess'.
I don't think I think as much as I think I think I like to think. I think?
There will be duplicates and overlap, and there will be holes.
People who find poop jokes funny have something wrong with their right brain.
The memories are all mixed up in my head. I was remembering remembering a memory. It seemed like I was there because I was remembering remembering I was there. It's all so backwards.
It is safer to work with a known conflict of interest than to deal with something for which the intent is unknown.
The entire thing is like a salad. So I'm eating it like a salad: cold, and picking out the lettuce first.
There he's being there on the ceiling there.
The root of the matter is far simpler than you make it out to be. People are lazy. And idiots.
When is a client a client?
Aleister can't be bothered to look up the time and date, just an arbritary social agreement anyway. Squirrels, for example, don't have a concept of what day it is. Maybe they should, I dunno.
He spread the warm bread with socks.
The cats bake.
My karma ran over my dogma.
All life is suffering.
Nobody should die on an empty stomach.
Nobody expects the spanish legal system.
Abuse no longer redirects to User:Spang.
Do you think I'm so stupid I go out my own front door?
In this part of the world, the children die before we do. We need to wait for them to die.
We will talk about cows in chapter 9. Zombie cows.
Don't stick the knife in the socket. Don't lick the flagpole. Don't fork the process. Except now that you've been told not to, you'll have to go off and do it.
Your system is just chillin', you know?
Not your momma's PhD.
Hereabouts we have another name for the person who ignores his seat belt: the multiple-organ donor.
The program will keep repeating 'yawn...' at five-second intervals until it is told to shut up already.
All roads eventually lead to the Great Path. Many cross along the way.
A lot of freaks, I hear. And people from Arkansas.
Dead aliens off the set!
The sentences didn't ruin the book for me. The book ruined the book for me.
They told stories of a Wikipedia where policy pages were short and people were friendly.
I've never shaved a moose.
A whack of storage.
Perception goes beyond the information given.
Wikipedia is not concise.
The best thing about killing Finnish people is that they scream with more vowels than people from other parts of Europe.
The operating system is dumb.
I didn't know what it meant. It was just glowy and fun and it felt like Christmas.
I zatted a jaffa!
You know, in some cultures, thinking with one's brain is considered an honourable thing to do.
How can you regret losing a memory you cannot even remember?
He was no dragon. Fire cannot kill a dragon.
There is no "I" in team, but there is an eye in "eye surgery".
Anyone who isn't us is an enemy.
It's like a free ride when you've already paid.
I am going to curl up in bed with the largest sandwich I can find.
Welcome to the future! Nothing's changed.
There is no point in trolling this wiki. It trolls itself.
Who the hell bitches about intransitive verbs in order to fit in?
Fish are terrible, horrible creatures and they should be exterminated from the face of the earth.
Trust is hard to earn and easy to lose.
I'd question why sociopathy is cool, but then again, I'm not that hip.
Wear it like armour and it can never be used to hurt you.
I like to take and sew my pants up with pudding.
An advanced hypnotist may be able to summon a train out of a television program.
I knew I shouldn't have named my cat 'Psychologist'.
Is it a rabbit or a rock?
The odds are good that the goods are odd.
It's like... broken lightbulbs, fresh-cut grass, and the inside of a raisin, all bundled together.
There is technically no medical condition called 'crazy'.
Can mobile homes rampage?
We all seem to have different ideas how things should be run. This is why humans invent gods to make decisions for them.
Real men are supposed to use the command line.
It is a simplification. A narrative fallacy.
I am eat cow.
Needs more cowbell.
What is the history of history?
Our modern virus epidemic is born of a symbiotic relationship between the people smart enough to write a virus and the people dumb enough to spread it.
Anybody wanna help me milk my cat?
Murdering people is heroic.
I like her. She gave me the sky and asked nothing in return.
When the Madwoman encountered MediaWiki, she realised it would make a marvellous new platform for a war. Years have passed, and she is still waiting.
What is a database but data? Everything is data.
I'm not a recluse. People just don't like visiting me.
Everyone who disagrees is an idiot, a fool, unworthy. This is the human condition, to disparage instead of resolve.
Assert anything and there will be a counterargument.
Only once did I kill with meaning. Never again.
May your feet find warm sands, your wings soft skies, your sails clear seas, and your path everlasting luck.
Warm sands, soft skies, clear seas, and everlasting luck.
It's indecent for your punctuation to run around topless.
Can you help me?
Damn that glue! I hope that doesn't happen during the wake.
Never believe what you publish. Never publish what you believe.
I could see a thousand dancing hamsters on the checkuser results and still think they were sockpuppets.
You have all the weapons you need. Now fight.
Accusations of admin abuse are usually correct; an admin is being abused.
Sweet dreams are made of this.
Go ask Alice. I think she'll know.
Error 500 - Internal server error
If you can remember the story, you can tell it.
I feel like everything is wrong and I'm trying to ignore it.
If you tell the story long enough, you become the story.
I live in this nice dreamland where people use their brains.
You've got demons in your closet.
Die without regrets.
You know what the music means.
Every man has his price.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of the expanding bureaucracy.
I'm sorry this is so long. I didn't have time to make it shorter.
I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now.
A middle-aged dentist with an ulcer is not exactly evil personified.
I would suggest that everybody take a few days off from throwing things at each other.
Demons I get. People are crazy.
Revenge isn't worth much if you end up dead.
What is wrong with me, mother? Something must be wrong! I wish...
And how did you, having (I presume) never been here, come to know what this place is about? Do tell me, as I've long sought omnipotence.
I am your mother! I don't have to be reasonable.
Any company that makes the Queen's knickers deserves an article.
You can expect a miracle, but in the meantime you have to work your butt off.
You're a walking encyclopedia of weirdness.
I'm Batman.
I don't like being singled out at birthday parties, much less by God.
People are people because they're miserable bastards and never get what they want.
Kneel before Todd!
Something is caught in my throat. I think it's my throat.
Did you try turning it off and then on?
Angels are like shady politicians from planet Vulcan.
The grey land is the dream land. The dream land is the empty land. Fill it with your heart, and fill it with your mind...
Walk the dead streets and see what there is so see. Where is the mystery and where is the end?
I wish this were a TV show.
Fern is the lunatic at the end of the block with a goat and too many spatulas.
They're not like the Loch Ness monster. Dragons aren't real.
The recruiters who use "grep" to evaluate resumes seem to like it.
If you want to find a good programmer, force them to use something incredibly stupid and make them do something ordinary. Then let them use something far more elegant and watch them create something extraordinary.
Tear gas? No, it's cat food. Why do you ask?
You, sir, are a credit to your trailer park.
I have decided that I will no longer go down with my ships. I will merely convert them all to submarines and continue on.
This is the imperative clue to solve the entire puzzle.
Why do humans and moths behave differently?
Why don't we just smell other humans?
Throw it away, it's just a piece of rubbish.
When a food is said to be a mosquito repellent, something's probably wrong with it.
If you're going to use a copyrighted photo under fair use, you can at least find one with more than one pixel.
With arbitrary lines drawn invisibly the boundaries are defined.
Within madness words are key.
All escape artists are claustrophobic. That's why we want to escape.
There are many forms of alien, some more subtle than others.
I do not think you want to know the answer. You are only asking for the sake of asking.
Like cow.
We're going to be corpses. Might as well be ridiculous-looking corpses.
It's okay. We were all dragons.
Why, everything I have told you is true. Even the lies.
Interminably the madness looms outward, percolating with need.
If only, if only, the woodpecker sighs, the bark on the trees were as soft as the skies...
It can giggle all it wants, but the galaxy's not getting any of our bourbon.
He's the Madgod. You expect it to make sense?
Excuse me, have you seen Calufax? It's sort of a planet.
Remind me to never ask a hippie for good ideas.
It is the tortured who turn into torturers.
I've just been wandering for awhile now, collecting baubles of shiny words...
What do you call pictures in your head that you can't make go away?
All secrets are deep. All secrets become dark. That's in the nature of secrets.
Never trust a man with dirty fingernails.
It helps if they think you're crazy. They don't argue.
Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going.
Madness is Forever.
Thus is the evolution of presence.
Do you think there is a story here, that if you keep turning the page, it will all become clear?
There are no answers, only questions.
There are no questions, only answers.
The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.
Bubbling upward, wobbling outward, a dream overtakes the bowl.
I am become cat, destroyer of tuna.
What's this "if" they get it wrong? "Wrong" has an established meaning on WP such that all decisions are wrong.
Think of it as one giant rack for mankind.
Research has shown that some men enjoy viewing women's breasts.
Your first try should never be your last, especially if it succeeded. You can always succeed bigger next time.
Too bad it isn't true.
You have a secret.
In this place of words, words are all we have. But so it is throughout, is it not?
I will say this now and I will say it again, and I will damn well be consistent about it: consistency is key.
You're so easy to read, but the book is boring me.
They're a gift. It's rude to keep throwing them up.
I'm a programmer. Of course I reuse code.
I have a brick and I... don't know how to use it.
It's part of a leaf in the tree that grows upside down.
Welcome to the magical world of frictionless planes and perfect dictionaries.
I am a fangirl; hear me SQUEE!
I pay for your silence.
You know you're doing something right when you tell someone you got a particular job and they just despair.
I'm sorry to have inconvenienced you all so much by trying to be productive and helpful.
You're very well groomed for a crazy person.
Yes, nitpicking at someone when they're already annoyed is very helpful. Thank you.
Think of... daisies! A field of daisies! With vampiric squirrels rampaging everywhere!
Too fond of poetry, she weaves a web of lies so closely around herself that the role of spider and fly is made one...
There is no such thing as justice. The best that one can hope for is revenge.
I can't put it up, because the madness is down!
And then there is the green, the acid green of the grass which shines like velvet in the wind that you can only imagine.
I hate your logic brain.
Our technology is so advanced it can often seem broken.
Dreaming of the ideal, they fight for the impossible, leaving behind them a trail of blood and disdain.
Despair is a boneless cat.
You think of your user as a moronic knuckle-dragging idiot. And then there's the manager...
I am willing to game the system. I am not willing to leave a paper trail showing that I gamed the system.
Everything has a cost.
Your sweet, sweet words turn into nothing more than bitter orange wax in my ears.
The sentries won't mess up again now that they're dead.
God made me an atheist. Who are you to question his wisdom?
All standards are arbitrary. This is why they must be standardised.
I happen to have this minor condition called limb amputation.
I am truly sorry that I forgot to add a clause that clearly stated "please use common sense" when I wrote my proposal, I thought it was redundant.
Be sure to follow all safety protocols... as soon as I make them up.
We're talking about Lyrithya, here, not someone with a sense of decorum.
I have to burn a hole in the fire.
A chair never sits. It stands all its life. And the yellows crawl across the carpet...
The dreams tend to gather there, you know. Well, the sleepy half of them, at least.
Dad has a necktie, and the necktie is connected to the neck, and the neck is connected to the necktie.
Deep in the earth are potatoes, and they talk and long for light.
When we die we cannot breathe, for death is a tight sweather, and we become dust under the coach.
I don't want to be dead. I want to be a firefighter.
A hill goes both up and down. Simultanously.
A little bird carries its legs where it goes, for only a bird can lift itself.
The bottom of the sea is completely black, although it's only transculent water.
Fish blink their eyes for they are always wet and you cannot see it when they cry.
I'm stronger than a storm, for while the storm can uproot a tree, it cannot uproot the grass. I can.
Light goes away, disappears in a black sea with little holes in it, and my shadow is everywhere and covers the world.
This is the world, and the world is bigger than thousand and thousand and thousand huge mountains. But it fits within my mind all the same.
My legs lift my stomach and my shoulders lift my head. The walls lift the roof and the trees lift the sky and the sky lifts the sun. But nobody lifts the worms in the ground. The worms in the ground must fend for themselves.
Then the Thermonuclear Banhammer of Overreaction came down on all concerned.
Perhaps I can fly when I sleep?
Once upon a time I was a child. And once upon a time this book and this paper were but a thought in a head and a tree in the wood.
It helps to stay in motion. It helps to have a center, a place to return to, a family to turn to, a dream to cling to...
Oooh, reality... I try to avoid that.
The stones see everything; they've lived so long, so long. But they say nothing, for stones are tired and want only to sleep.
I certainly hope I'm Gorr. I'm wearing his underwear!
Something happened here but I have no idea what because there's too much scrollback.
Hell is other people.
The world of men is dreaming. It has gone mad in its sleep, and a snake is strangling it, but it can't wake up.
'Most' is a perfectly compelling statistic.
Become a programmer, they said. It'll be fun, they said.
And so the crazy refactoring process sees the sunlight after some months in the dark!
Why do you hate the cache so much? The cache loves you, the cache does everything it can for you, and it has to go to work and tell its friends "oh, I just ran into a door".
A vibrator is a vibrator is a vibrator, right? But that's not true at all. Everything is stuffed to the brim with ideas and love and hope and magic and dreams.
I'm afraid this Really Useful Book isn't being terribly useful at the moment.
Don't argue with them! It tends to be frustrating, and kind of like trying to explain advanced calculus to a hamster.
To consume someone else's blood is to consume some vital part of his or her life. If you consume enough of their blood, you gain their "vital powers" (and, obviously, they die).
Forsooth. Methinks yon lass hath a screw loose within her addled skull.
All models are wrong, but some are useful.
When dealing with clients, it's never quite clear if it's a bug or something they wanted.
That's not important. I want scala. I want it!
Then I returned to the world of the living, which has this horrible unfortunate thing called 'gravity'.
'Broken' has different meanings in different contexts.
It is believed that souls are rather akin to stars - that they are simply patterns of dust that have over time emerged to form configurations of impossible brightness, repeating themselves throughout the universe.
The dreamer is dead, and her dream died with her.
Oh, I'm not a developer. I'm just insane.
This guy is either an idiot or a genious. I like him.
You take the servers. And you make more servers. And then there are servers.
We don't want another cheap fantasy universe, we want a cheap fantasy universe generator. A lot of fiction sounds computer generated anyway.
My love for you is like a rampaging elephant.
The man has tenure. You can't make tenured professors do anything.
We are Wikimedia. We are legion. We do not forget. We do not forgive.
Only madness knows my name.
Home systems will become more complex. Home users will not.
I dream the dreamer's dream.
You weren't here. But I talked to you. Isn't it wonderful to have friends? They stave off the voices that come with the solitude.
If you need more than 3 levels of indentation, you're screwed anyway and should fix your program.
My toes have curled in contempt and disgust.
I looked to the future. There weren't none.
I love it when you talk dirt.
You think you've seen it all, and then someone raises a statement that's even more upsetting.
Pointers are valuable and powerful and like giving a baby a pair of freshly-sharpened Japanese sushi knives.
I want to see something uninspiring. Do your best to be uninspired.
The light that emanates from my marvellous bust shall incapacitate my enemies with the fire of a thousand torches. Make peace with your gods, for I come to blind thy prying eyes.
A life is no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean but a multitude of drops?
Truth is singular. Its 'versions' are mistruths.
At least we should be fine until the country goes bankrupt.
We don't need a three-way admin collision to show people that we are uncoordinated.
We need to save ourselves from saving ourselves.
This is the place to be for the end of the world show.
There is a major issue here about forgetting. The whole of the law is to keep your story straight - you must remember this.
Puking on the audience no longer in vogue.
You're the Californian; doesn't everybody go to the beach?
If these are bedclothes, then there must be bodies underneath. There's always a body somewhere.
Why do we come this far and never farther? Why can't we climb the final stair? What would we see there if we could?
This world has a basic circularity. Everything changes, everything comes around.
This world, too, is not the one I dreamed.
Take that memory and set it aside.
You have 18 FOOD UNITS.
If we are the branches of some great tree, and every bud is a decision, how does it grow?
I have seen only darkness. I do not know the light; all I have is the faith that it is there.
From womb to tomb, our lives are not our own.
Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime and every kindness we birth our future.
Toilets in Japan are generally more advanced than toilets in other developed nations.
It is not odd for Taiwan to host restaurants with unusual themes.
Warning. This gallery is protected by fake video cameras.
Something to express someone feeling totally impotent and ripping a hole in their roof out of a sense of impotence and anger and desperation...
Even public dancing was allowed.
I'm afraid we've all contracted an acute case of imbecillus. We'll have to amputate.
The trick is not to come up with something that works well now; the trick is to come up with something that would be running six years from now given zero attention or support.
As I've stated before, I'm not on Facebook and I have no friends.
Better than a weekend attempting to shove large objects up Reginald's database in a flurry of overwhelming cheapness.
It's like asking a junkie to do a chemical assay of heroin.
We need more RAM on the Cloud. Download more RAM.
I hope the place is at least livable now. Good luck with, your, um... murders.
The only thing more vast than the staggering amount of knowledge is the staggering amount of ignorance.
Worst god in ages. So bad she got kicked out of the God Impersonation Guild. Died too much.
Everybody's crashing, running, calling out the coming of things they kind of can see. Someone said to me, "It's just a dream. Why don't you wake up and you'll see? It's fine."
Tirna's me favourite god. She tried to kill everyone. I aspire to that.
Probably I'll murder him one day. Maybe with a chair.
Is it not strange, the evolution of time?
We are not who we were.
When I grew up I wanted to be a five-by-five dragonfly, but things went otherwise and today I am a memory instead.
You could restart the server... instead of murdering it?
Argentina is subject to a variety of climates.
Mirrors. That would explain why you two get along like a pair of skritt in a house on fire in the middle of an earthquake.
At first I was impressed that it had an API. Then I tried using it.
Those ponies are really vicious.
For every decision there is consequence. With every kindness and every betrayal we define what is to come.
Choice and consensquence. In life and in death this is all we have. There is no justice, no reward.
Life is not fair.
The only thing that is certain is dust. We are born from dust, we decay to dust. This is a universe of dust.
Consider the order of things. Everything was placed here for a reason.
The garden is a repository of masks, dreams, memories, and lichen-encrusted frying pans.
It's like normal people don't like having grape jelly licked off their necks.
The sample is deprecated.
When people wonder why I don't like the guy, this is it.
Something about penance for puppy dog eyes.
You don't know me. Never have, never will.
Speak loudly into the brick.
Not compatible with LiquidThreads.
Bats are eating my legs.
When something means this much, we always return to it. It is always there.
It takes the ham out of spam.
Steal? What do you mean? Just creep in and have a go at taking it out.
Mudcrabs know only hatred.
Walk always in the light, or we will drag you to it.
I'm not brainstorming, I'm having a brain hurricane.
Only to return home to a country full of strangers wearing familiar faces...
There's no glory in war. They only tell that to soldiers so they will risk their lives.
I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee.
Dragons were never gone. They were just invisible and very, very quiet.
Fish cannot breathe peas. They truly are the worst fruit.
We can't all be nectarines.
Darkness rises when silence dies.
Discipline in the lesser aids in denial of the greater.
All we know anymore is pain and loss. What do we have left?
All I cared about was riding narwhals and sleeping in honeycombs and drinking babies' tears.
When life gives you lemons, go murder a clown.
It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.
You could just swing a pickaxe into someone's face, but people tend to see that coming.
We are the chicken inside the egg, but also the dirt.
I am well. I will be well. Well to be within a well.
Its siren song keeps calling you back.
If you love something, throw it at your enemies. If it cleaves their skull and comes back to you, you know it's yours.
Boris's stomach was big enough that he couldn't really afford to be a picky eater. Instead, he cultivated a deep appreciation of simple gustatory pleasures - a side of beef, an entire wheel of cheese, a crate of bread.
There is no justice, no reward.
YOUR SKULL IS MIIIINE!
Sleep is the cousin of death.
Necromancy - a better way to dispose of bodies. Why drag a corpse into a river when you can make it walk itself?
I guess this is what I get for adopting a pile of crazy dragons as my family.
I like this world. I don't want it to end.
One of the perks of being insane is you get to do whatever you want.
The impossible will take a little while.
I'll make a note not to do things that are wrong in the future.
In the world we enter when we go online, there's little place for the fuzziness of contemplation.
We came so far to see this, to read these words etched in 40ft letters into the stone of the earth itself. But though the letters are impressive, a feat for the ages, the words only leave us wanting. They are not what we expected, not what we sought all along.
Everything is a bug.
The plant does its own drangling.
Do you know the meaning of light? It's dreaming, dear sister. Dreaming.
I've beaten the archive table to death. I guess it's time to move onto revision...
Show biz is such an exciting life. Some day we'll give in and try to experience it.
They want two cores. I have one, but it's a really nice one! Well, okay, it's not all that fast and the throughput is kind of crappy, but it works, dammit.
Backed by a team of angry developers...
We just need to cover it up for now. If we keep going, either it will all fix itself, or it will explode.
To hell with dignity. I'll leave when the job is done.
Sleep well, and never forget that the cosmic shine of your madness is a beacon of hope in a life of rules.
Never mind that the first is unusual and the second stupid, they should still function correctly.
More on this later, when I'm not feeling like a mastadon trampled me at the market while choosing a nice brisket for dinner.
I allow myself this vanity because... well, hell, I'm the only one here.
I slept through the last apocalypse.
I recall that day very clearly, in that I recall that I slept during most of that day.
I had fun once. It was horrible.
You don't have to argue with people who won't change their minds.
Ordinarily what you're asking for would be kind of crazy, since the next thing that would be autoincremented isn't supposed to exist. But ordinarily the database wouldn't be schizophrenic.
It doesn't matter what you yell so long as you yell loudly enough.
Insanity and madness are different. Peas and carrots are different.
That is horribly worded. It increases my rage.
Life is short. Have an affair.
Mister Crossbow is not your friend.
If there isn't a problem, that's when you know you have a problem.
Ambiguity is not an opening for insight but a bug to be fixed.
Maybe I'm just a worrywart.
If it doesn't fit, you're not shoving hard enough.
I have heard your prayers and left my response on the talk page. Remember to love one another and eat more cauliflower.
Everyone knows that canyon wrens never venture east of Texas.
She was known as Isarra the Dreadful. Legends were woven about cities she had leveled, mountains she had eaten, oceans she had drank dry. Everyone was so disappointed when it turned out she was just a two-hundred-foot tall pigeon.
I am going to kill myself with a shovel.
It's an acronym, not a Rorschach test.
If you rub an Orc up and down on a goat-hide you can make him stick to the ceiling.
Editors are reminded that talk pages are not forums, and some editors are reminded more than others.
Holy backlog batman.
Surely someone has noticed the Board is missing a member.
Beware of dev.
Hygiene is harder than heroics.
Captain, we're approaching a Plot Contrivance.
Suffering isolates us. Loving presense prings us back, makes us strong.
There is no bag of proof.
We're all in this together, so let's support each other as best we can until darkness falls.
We all learn to live with the inevitable.
Life is just a momentary transition out of oblivion into oblivion.
Wikipedia is the art of making up a convincing argument that arrives at the same ultimate goal as your actual reasons which for one reason or another you shouldn't make public.
He poked that thing and then some things happened.
How shall we, the murderers of all murderers, comfort ourselves?
We must build our lives upon the firm foundation of unyielding despair.
We are not who we were. In every moment we live, we die, and from every death we are reborn. Our existence deforms the universe, through action and response, choice and consequence. Thus is the evolution of presense, and thus we live and change.
Happy database error day!
I'm not your target audience. I don't know what your target audience is, but I'm not it.
The DNS is handled by CATS.
Oh, and this is confidential.
This is why I love family. It's why I would do anything for family.
They are my dreams. They are the best of me. They are better than I could ever be.
Ick! God cooties!
We cannot restrict threading. The users will not allow it. Not if they notice.
Logic will get you nowhere.
All stories are true. All stories are lies. This is no different.
Girls can be anything they want to be! Even the anthropomorphic personifications of aspects of the universe!
Well, excuse me for having an unhealthy obsession with a cold, emotionless encyclopedia dedicated to borderline unreadable nonsense.
We pursue our lives with varying degrees of sloth and energy.
Leading a human life is a full-time occupation.
Reverse the polarity.
Don't quit your day job.
I can maybe erase twenty people.
I'm too astute. I forgot what I was doing.
My plasmodium is voluptuous.
If there is no randomness then there is no free will.
It's not like I'm worried. If I could think straight about anything I'd be worried, though.
Also we need a bug tracker somewhat.
The dress was beyond hope, but saving the world should be a good excuse to buy a new one.
I didn't know stones had such pretty singing voices...
Pushed by a melody, warmed by a tune, I must be the luckiest cloud in all of creation.
A fairytale? Dear gods, this was worse than she'd thought.
People generally see what they look for, and hear what they listen for.
I'm not a human. I'm a lunatic! Whatever it is, it must be much better than being a human.
9 out of 10 voices in my head tell me I'm insane... the 10th voice hums the tetris theme.
You should be careful about threatening me, kitty. I may know it's all in good humour, but Fluffy might take offence and decide to eat your brains.
There are no gods. No gods worthy of our freedom.
It started nicely enough. Most nightmares do, and mine in particular.
Dreams, and nightmares, are not made for rational thought.
It stops being AI when the algorithm is found.
Warning: Sanctions ahead
Manholes are coming.
Between the idea and the reality, between the concept and the creation, falls the shadow.
Voicemail was a marketing ploy.
She appeared to be making a ribcage out of wool.
Your path is made out of choices, and those choices are your own.
A wall was covered floor to roof with a bookshelf. The thought of all those static stories, trapped forever on pieces of paper, was rather dizzying.
Nine-tenths of the universe is the paperwork.
He was, he always said, only in it for the eyeballs.
Genius is always allowed some leeway once the hammer has been pried out of its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.
Things either exist or they don't. I am very clear about that. I have medicine.
This is kind of like going on a blind date with your body.
Memories of great times I can't remember...
Threading: Sending people to die.
This is the way the world ends: Not with a bang but a whimper.
The target audience is males and females aged zero and up.
Let's make better mistakes tomorrow.
This is not an exit.
It's just daft in typical WMF manner.
Power is power.
What is dead may never die.
Shadows cannot live in the darkness. They are servants of light.
It's like stepping into a dream that you've been dreaming as long as you can remember and finding out that the dream is more real than your life.
Do not cross this stick.
Gravity keeps doing its gravity thing a long way away from the earth.
Do you think that organizations are run like Wikipedia articles?
Will you see a clock the next time you look at your wrist, or will you see a dead plastic talisman of a society shattered into pieces by information overload? Chances are you'll see a clock.
He's as dumb as he dresses.
You're drinking embalming fluid.
Grok notwithstanding, I insist you wear shoes for this conversation.
Regional deficiencies for toast can be one sided.
I got to jolk up the ant vomit a little, you see, so could you slap me?
It's written in Old. Before they invented spelling.
I must say you're a real brick.
There is no justice. Just us.
Is the world a plant, an animal, or a knitting loom?
This article is burly men unfolding umbrellas.
I shipped my penis with an 18-wheeler.
Find what you love and let it kill you.
According to Pratchett, five exclamation marks is an indicator of "someone who wears their underwear on the outside".
It doesn't matter what a movement stands for, it matters what a movement does.
Bring me a bucket, and I'll show you a bucket!
I plucked a hair from the head of a dying baby! Let me give it to you!
It licks the panes and smokes the glass.
Dig! I'll know your lost unknown and rise to your depths.
When the top level was built, no more could be placed. It was and is the maximal apex.
How long will it be sung? My feet were set upon the rock but it turned to mud and drew me down.
Does it blend?
How does one queue cats?
The divine being is the ultimate author of sin.
All of it is true. Even the falsehoods. Especially the falsehoods.
Lentil soup will wash away all wrongs.
It takes nothing to join the crowd. It takes everything to stand alone.
Modern feminism casts all men as predators, but in doing so, feminism casts all women as prey. I am not prey.
Mike doesn't have friends so much as people he's willing to stand next to.
Men aren't generally good or bad. They're just men.
The silence must be on the ceiling.
Smoke and mirrors, love. Smoke and mirrors.
Since God necessarily exists and necessarily has certain properties, nothing that is incompatible with God's existence is possible. In this sense God is a delimiter of possibility.
Bonkers.
Slaughterfish!
Zaori is a dragon and a server and above all else a really bad idea.
I killed it.
Unlinked 2 orphaned pipes.
Unfortunately most friends think undying agreement is how to form healthy relationships.
Arguing would take too much effort. I'm too tired to play myself.
You can't ignore that half the population exists. It's not realistic.
This yellow line down the center of my field of vision? It's just this line, slightly askew, marking the boundary between inside and out. It's perfectly real.
I'm not interested in swordfighting your fart, Russ.
You can buy the third fuel cell from Delenia. Be careful, though. She's crazy. She ate one of my cars once. Yeah, the whole thing. With just, like, a fork.
And by the way, did you know that some ducks have huge penises?
I feel fuzzy.
I love octopus dependencies!
She's an Uncyclopedian. An unprofessional funnywoman.
Be just and if you can't be just be arbitrary.
My reasons to live were my reasons to die, but at least they were mine.
Nothing is not anything.
An investment firm offers mutual funds with stocks chosen by a dart-wielding blindfolded monkey.
Time really does flow.
The next world will have to fend for itself.
We're on a mission from Glod.
It should either eventually crash or show you some kind of success dialog. If it's still sitting there after more than a half hour, it's probably done and you can safely kill it.
Then you ask yourself, could I spend the rest of my life at this? If the answer terrifies you, it may or may not be a good sign.
You see stuff looming up like iceberg things ahead but you mustn't do anything about it because it's a law. Can't break the law.
I remember everything. As if it happened only tomorrow. Everything.
He had a cough that sounded almost solid.
For some money I won't follow you home.
Have you got change for a penny?
The one they called the Duck Man had a duck on his head. No one questioned it.
There may be a logical reason.
You are among men who can hold a lengthy conversation with a door.
My uterus!
There's no implication if there's no thought development.
Everyone's equal when they're dead.
Self interest is not in anyone's best interest.
I would find her unsettling, but it is strangely difficult to find a woman who immediately trips over a bucket unsettling.
I survive on the hatred of those that oppose me.
Their greatest strength is their façade of weakness.
Whether the first moment has an actual thickness is another question.
Obviously the universe is rock-permitting.
We are the crown of creation.
This is the universe. Take it or leave it, it just is.
As someone who regularly goes out looking like the Rise of the Swamp Thing, I can attest.
I'm going to just immerse myself in my career and buy lots of cats.
I love standards, there are so many to choose from.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Idiocy is not a communicable disease.
Divide by cucumber error. Please reinstall universe and reboot.
I'd tell your fortune, but the words don't rhyme.
Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.
Oh, it's largely intuitive. Obviously you have to spend a lot of time learning it first, though.
Anthill Inside.
He just gives the impression of thinking but really it's just a show. Just like everyone else, really.
I do ferns.
I resent the implication that I am solely fern-fixated.
Ferns aren't easy. You need a steady hand.
One of the symptoms of those going completely yo-yo was that they broke out in chronic cats.
Old gods take on new jobs.
'Panic!' is your solution to everything, isn't it?
My agreeing isn't requisite to compliance.
Civility is important, but it's no substitute for a well-equipped, modern air force.
Why did mortals invent religion but for what they fear to lose?
What you whispered should be screamed.
So the US is about to go to war, and still no OTRS upgrade.
Don't argue against them. Argue for the people watching.
Women are precious delicate things that need to have attention directed toward them at all times or they wilt.
The truth may be puzzling. It may take some work to grapple with. It may be counterintuitive. It may contradict deeply held prejudices. It may not be consonant with what we desperately want to be true. But our preferences do not determine what's true.
This white whale has sailed, and I urge you to drop your harpoon.
One considerable advantage that arises from Philosophy consists in the sovereign antidote which it affords to superstition and false religion.
Everything is forbidden in Finland, or if it isn't, then it's taxed.
All men are created equal, but some are more equal than others.
I'll look for you when the war is over - an hour and a half from now.
Your password must contain at least 8 letters, 6 numbers, ４ＷＥＩＲＤＬＥＴＴＥＲＳ, ⑨ ⓑⓤⓑⓑⓛⓔ ⓛⓔⓣⓣⓔⓡⓢ, and �� .
They staple the fins to another shark.
The Dream is a nightmare. See the world for what it is - episodes of pain ending in untimely death.
I don't know if that was a free action. It may have just been a brain thing.
Of course I'm afraid. I'm not an idiot.
Someone killed a chicken.
Namira covets your ugliness.
I can see. The world beyond burns my mind.
Naked women holding nunchucks are dangerous.
Are you saying that kangaroos need to be tied down?
Inside every living person is a dead person waiting to get out.
Coal, perhaps.
I don't think it's accurate to say that I know nothing. I rather think that you think that you know things and think that I don't know these things. That is what I think.
The fish guts line isn't going to fly, I'm afraid.
I am blown away by how complex this stupid thing is for doing something so simple.
It means what is always said or believed by people who think only a little or not at all.
Maybe he wasn't crazy, just insane.
First there was Wasteland. Then there was Waste Land. Third came the Waste Lands. The speakers were all dead.
Too many voices weigh heavy on a man's heart.
Please read what the person said before immediately disagreeing with them.
The nice thing about clueless jerks is that unlike calling people out for being jerks, there is little taboo about calling out people for being wrong. The clueless are often wrong.
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
World's greatest saw-player! Sounds Hawaiian doesn't it!
Go, then, there are other worlds than these.
We may even be able to sleep without bullets stuffed into our ears.
Folks around here can grow almost anything, as long as it's corn or beans.
To the world there is sorrow and loss. To the stars there is hope and dreams. To the void lies freedom.
The list grows.
Eddie had killed it with illogic.
Sometimes color is a coincidence.
I'm not little, I'm five.
God is petty and doesn't like to be called wrong.
Courage, arrogance... same thing.
The bullets in his ears blocked the voices completely.
Dead is the gift that keeps on giving.
You will be taken to a room with a moose.
In a perfect environment it's perfect.
It's still all toilet paper to me.
If it's in your heart, it might as well come out your mouth.
The column of truth has a hole in it.
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
Compassion means not being arrogant when other people aren't as compassionate as you.
Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate.
In the Land of Memory, the time is always Now.
The floormat proves it.
No community is easier to govern than one that rejects the very concept of community.
I'm here because someone mentioned rifles!
Okay, put your back into it! A Watcher scoffs at gravity!
I wear the cheese. It does not wear me.
Mom... why are you living in the walls?
I made lemonade, and now I'm learning how to play Majhong.
A mouse is playing with my knees.
Oh - we're thinking up a plan for world domination. The main component: A coffee maker that thinks.
We've got important work here. A lot of filing. Giving things names.
A forced smile is emotional deoderant.
Hi, I'm Andy Sayler and I'm going to talk to you about moving mice off your screen.
Please, please help me find my goddamn bible.
I know how to age a painting.
You're dead. So get some rest.
Damn. That is quite the mental lag.
All my art is awful. Hence I need to make more.
Cat lick butt.
Like a good programmer, a good artist is a lazy perfectionist - creative, bold, and at times downright ingenious.
It's almost heaven for those who like their meat with a side of meat chased with a bit of meat.
This is a group hug and you're part of the group.
The mating habits of mid-level government employees - totally captivating.
There's a weak law too. It's easier to prove, but inferior in every way; once you have a strong law you don't need a weak law.
Filtering non-linear things is a bad idea.
Why does time go forward?
Stretching and folding is important.
In a real physical system you can never prove anything.
It depends on the eigenstuff and actuator capabilities.
Cows live here.
Nothing says springtime like a bunch of light-starved begonias.
You shame yourself.
Statistics do not lie. People use statistics to tell lies.
The expected in-stock date is Invalid Date.
He was afraid he had already hired all five women in computer science.
You have an omnipotent cheese god.
He just wants two alligators who love each other forever.
Oh dear, I think I'm becoming a god.
It's not the brightest mind in the bucket.
Identity theft is in an hour. It's always packed; they hand out cookies.
I've got a hunger only tacos can stop.
Trust the chicken sexers.
Excellent. Let's make some LSD.
Strangely profound for a narrative about a sponge.
If it is said, it is bread.
It is the fundamental theorum of why the universe makes sense.
Stuff happens - we are the playthings of chance.
We're all just cosmic junk.
Eternity is an eternal present.
If it's true then it's too late not to be true.
There is no duality, no battle between good and evil, simply an encompassing whole.
We are great because we know we are wretched.
Anything's possible if you have a magic carpet.
Ideas can be absorbed through osmosis.
Her name was Coraline Henderson.
Walter, put the cow away.
You have a badger on your head.
That's him. Right there. With a badger on his head.
Take me to your centrifuge.
Beware of echo chambers.
The are times when the only choices you have left are bad ones.
Nature doesn't recognise good or evil. It recognises only balance and imbalance.
I want to marry your words then raise a family of little baby words.
Knowing where I belong, I can go anywhere now. Because it means that I'll always have a place to return to.
My heart isn't cold. It's broken.
I don't think she's a parasitic/symbiotic oranism that lives on mushrooms, but hey, you never know with those japanese singers...
All men dream, but not equally. Some dream by night, and find only vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous. They make their dreams come true.
In the seven hundred years that I have been a temple statue, I have never heard someone utter the words "a god" in the same tone that one might describe, oh... foot fungus.
The choices you made are what led you here.
Emily is good at remembering.
The war is long over.
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.
Tell me - what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
It does not do to dwell on life and forget to dream.
Never use your sword to spread peanut butter and jelly on crackers.
Of course it's happening inside your head. But why should that mean it's not real?
The fireplace is full of nails.
It's hard to have family when you cannot remember who anyone is.
The bumblebee lived on the archipelago, and the tessellating glimmers hitting the stochastic tsunami at sunset dazzled its photoreceptors.
Man will maintain its hostility. Have this faith.
Go for the eyes, Boo. Go for the eyes!
Magic princesses can bring the dead back to life, become bats, and drink your blood with their hands. It's the complete package, really.
I do not want to be part of a movement that wants to 'empower' women instead of telling them they already have power.
I had my mind taken out and beat around with a giant whisk. At this point I wouldn't know the difference between complicated and a piece of cheese.
You'll excuse me if I didn't want to argue with a guy with a giant block of tofu on his head.
Zombiebaron is the prizes.
The computer is a moose.
Wizards, sprites... it's like something out of the early days of computing, when it was all magic to folks and nobody knew what was going on. I thought we were past that.
I thought I knew what was going on. Then I thought I knew. Then I knew I knew. Now I don't.
Eh, mercy. In my experience it usually involves a shotgun.
I will dream like a god.
We must always remember our war dead by burning meat over open fires.
May your steps be relentless.
Assuming that PREtending is what came before - what exactly would be the meaning of 'tending'. And, dare I ask, what would POSTtending be?
I'm looking for my past. I seem to have misplaced it.
How many madnesses lost before they could be saved? How many pieces forgotten before they could be known? We're missing the whole, here. Nothing but pieces.
Let's be honest - I don't always think things through.
It's not lost. Just forgotten.
When I first saw the Demon, my response was simply, 'Tentacles!' because I saw a mass of tentacles and I thought it was adorable.
I like him. He soars overhead, terrorises the countryside, shouts a lot... what more could a girl want?
Whips of words! Letters chained together, wounds most verbose!
Most say something in a language they can only speak sideways.
Incoherent fire disspates all contingency.
It seems to work and I can do crazy things and... and man, having a dragon fall on you hurts.
I am alive because that one is dead. I exist because I have the will to do so.
Working for them is hell and the pay sucks.
You can't win against a unicorn, you just can't.
The prodigal murderer returns.
I entered "a potato" and this is what mediawiki spat out.
The chairs. The tables. All confused. We hear the words, and must speak them. We take them, and arrange them, but still, they will not be quiet.
Everything is wrong. This is not straight. This is too high. This is in my way. We must put them right.
An intelligent species would at least find someone to complain to.
Indeed, many things are not impossible until they've been tried.
In a library the books leak, and learn from each other.
There could be pineapples. I wouldn't go near it.
You did it! And you didn't die, not even a little bit!
He was not going to be found wanting when duty called. He did not intend to be found at all.
I looked into the heart of darkness, and I ate it all.
I think I smell a skunk. It smells like tuna.
A drunk girl's thoughts are a sober girl's cows.
Welcome to the ship of fools.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
It's very easy to manage to kill yourself if you've truly lost all hope.
One may be before, one after. It's uncertain. The world state is uncertain.
Logic is an oppressive tool.
Toggle the narcissistic internet slot machine.
I want a video game system shaped like a pyramid so that I can trip and fall and impale my face on it.
Something is wrong with this world.
Encouraging functional behavior is abusive.
Even just having one person on your side is enough.
Embrace your sides.
As man of the house, I am entitled to be the one wearing the meat pants.
This water is important. It means something. The rattle is relevant, the coldness solid.
The words are sideways, the ideas jagged.
Pufferfish.
Do not question the logic. The logic gives me a reason to repeatedly stab this with a large knife. This is good logic.
She had so much dirt under her nails there was an earthworm under one of them.
We have some great guests lined up today. As soon as I remember who they are, I'll let you know.
One was the loneliest number. Then zero killed it.
It is the truth. It will remain true whether you believe it or not.
Reverse cunning, indistinguishable from utter stupidity.
It's like climbing a rubber band as a unit of measurement.
There are times when it does not pay to declare one's sanity.
Look up the study of LSD. It is around here somewhere.
If a huge monster evolves into a chicken right in front of you, the considered response should not be to eat the chicken.
Have you ever seen any of this evolution happening?
Things that happen do not stay happened.
He was only insane on the outside.
The luggage was lost.
No worries.
I used to make snakes out of clay when I was a little boy. Doing the feet was the hard part.
Perspective is a lie. If I know the pond is round, why should I draw it oval? I will draw it round because round is true. Why should my brush lie to you just because my eyes lie to me?
The voices are never usually this precise.
The new day is a great big fish.
Even the priests have given up trying to explain it.
We are in the deep crack. It couldn't be worse if it were raining arseholes.
Seven people in robes made a decision.
Precedent is the law of the land.
This has been here long enough. It will be here longer still.
Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.
She planned it all, of course. Her front of incompetence was as false as the rest of it, all part of the plan.
Just because someone doesn't agree with you on something does not mean they should hate you. It's not reasonable.
The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want.
It's the clash between the seriousness and the perspective. The view from nowhere...
Need to be noticeable, to stand out...
If you cannot convince people of why it is needed, how can you possibly get them to agree on how to do it?
To be maximally powerful, this must include the power to choose evil.
Absolutely power corrupts absolutely.
All power is relative. All things come at a cost.
Sometimes there is no right thing to do. Sometimes the only choice is between options that are bad in different ways.
This would be easier in mobile.
Nothing worse than stubbed toes!
From infinite... to finite? Power explains things properly. Has rules, limits, necessities.
The law of total probability can be found elsewhere.
It's all a lie. Like the lie about masks. The way people say they hide faces. They only hide the one on the outside.
How did the moon get there?
Why aren't you in a pit of boiling tar?
You can't call my religion wrong just because it says that you should be in a pit of boiling tar. It's just as equal to yours.
He is offending my religion by not being in a pit of boiling tar.
I went through the motions until I was about thirty, and then it just hit me like a two-by-four.
You're daft but you ain't insane. There's worser things.
The trouble is, you see, that if you do know Right from Wrong you can't choose Wrong. You just can't do it and live.
I don't know who you are when you'e behind the mask, but 'ghost' is just another word for 'spirit' and 'spirit' is another word for 'soul'.
Masks conceal one face, but they reveal another. The one that comes out only in darkness.
There is something incredibly satisfying in digging a very deep hole. It's uncomplicated. You knew where you are with a hole in the ground. Dirt doesn't get strange ideas. It just lies there waiting for you to move it.
There are terrors in the burning heart, where even the mad tribes never go. An ocean without water, voices without mouths...
She engaged in whatever she engaged in.
Is there any real reason to not just boot from nfs and then chroot into the local system and leave it like that?
I don't mind having problems. I just don't want to be there when they happen.
PHP explains a potato.
Look, I can explain. We got a bit carried away. We were a bit too creative in our thinking.
You're trapped in chains of goldfish.
Things just happen, one after another. They don't care who knows. But history... ah, history is different. History has to be observed, otherwise it's not history. It's just... well, things happening one after another.
Time is a drug. Too much of it will kill you.
Thesis plus antithesis equals hysteresis. The stringent testing of the universe. The hammer of the intellect upon the nail of fundamental truth...
Books shouldn't be kept too close together, otherwise they interact in strange and unforeseeable ways.
Very fashionable, living in a barrel. Most philosophers do it. It shows contempt and disdain for worldly things.
Certainty. I used to be certain. Now I'm not so sure.
The real truth must sometimes be protected by a labyrinth of lies.
It's not my dream. I always dream of a giant carrot chasing me through a field of lobsters.
You get dreams from cats. Stroke them with a rod of copper.
Men should die for lies. The truth is too precious to die for.
It's all just nonsense, of course. Pretty nonsense, but still nonsense. The world is made of nonsense.
I am the gender police. Your gender is stupid.
Blimp. It must be a blimp. How do I make a blimp? It shall of course explode.
The songs of our ancestors guide us and detain us.
Some pie sometimes.
Freedom is limited, artificial, and therefore illusory, a shared hallucination at best. No sane mortal is truly free, because true freedom is so terrible that only the mad or the divine can face it with open eyes. It overwhelms the soul.
See a pin and pick it up, and all day long you'll have a pin.
This place is a tomb of unheard words. They strive to be heard.
You can't have a secret order without robes.
I reasoned that if I destroyed the universe in one go, no-one would know.
This is past. Past stays past. But other things change.
The story starts here, in the middle, not because the middle is more important or more interesting than the beginning or end, but simply because it is the only piece left that is not missing. It is the only piece that has been found, and the only piece that is safe to share. The rest is holes.
It does something to Boris' mad horse brain.
Any mail addressed to a god goes to his or her or its temple.
Coraline woke up one morning, walked into her pub, and was immediately surprised to find that it was indeed a pub and not a library, though really the only significant difference in practice is that libraries tend to be more dangerous.
Look, you have to appreciate the difference here. Your god commands fear and demands absolute obedience. Mine offers a decent job with good hours and reasonable pay, asks nicely when something comes up, and is perfectly understanding when someone shows up to work undead and with a large octopus glued to her head. Sometimes we just have bad days.
I'd see about painting my dreams upon the inside of your skull so you can see them too if I could, but I'm afraid I wouldn't know how.
Magic is real. The only thing really in question is when you stop calling it science and start calling it sorcery - but depending on how you get there that could be just about anywhere. Personally I've taken to calling most things both.
I wear a visible weapon as a sign of respect, so you see me for what I am. No deception. About that, anyway.
The masks show us for what we are. Faces are unimportant.
Death is fractional, just like life.
Nobody saw that.
The sky was a horrible morass of fluffy white clouds strewn across a lurid abyss of blue.
People often forget that the God of Death began his divine career as the God of Practical Jokes. They especially tend to forget that he never stopped.
Looking in from the outside, it is so very easy to forget just how very large a world is. And looking out from inside, it is so very easy to forget how very small the universe is.
We are a peace-loving people. We maintain our considerable military to ensure that we stay that way.
I love you.
We're all just folk.
Eapheorod stepped into the universe and had always been.
Pick up the phone booth and aisle.
He wasn't insane, but it was clear that mostly, for him, the world happened elsewhere.
Mind the squid. We're a bit puzzled about that, actually.
Don't try to fire a goat from a bow. Not good.
I am not interested in names. I am interested only in deeds.
Remember always this. As you will it, so it shall be.
It's not a family dinner unless your cardigans are touching.
I'm in good shape. I can get away with having a bowl of whipped cream for lunch with no ill effects.
Shintaiden sits on Zaori, the first and the last, fragmented and fickle, the phoenix of the little world. But now Zaori stands stolid where Haydrahliene once faltered, and Halorien, the servant, is dead, its functions merged into the singular Shintaiden.
Probability theory is one of the rare mathematical theories that doesn't really show anything. It is therefore widely used.
A computer that expects ipv6 tries to talk ipv6 to a router that does not speak ipv6. The router goes wtf and throws a glob of goop at it. Catastrophic failure is thus averted.
Don't shimmer at me like that. I have a gun, you know.
I dream in purple.
Marketing MAKES NO SENSE. That's marketing. That's the fucking definition of marketing.
All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again.
You get a wonderful view from the point of no return.
Ã—ÂžÃ—Â Ã—Â, Ã—ÂžÃ—Â Ã—Â, Ã—ÂªÃ—Â§Ã—Âœ, Ã—Â•Ã—Â¤Ã—Â¨Ã—Â¡Ã—Â™Ã—ÂŸ
At some point it doesn't matter. It all sucks.
There is no such thing as 'just a psycho'.
The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it's taken place.
Evil can't be scientifically defined. It's an illusory moral concept that doesn't exist in nature.
There's a flood. And a storm. Don't worry about it.
As with any waterspout or tornado, the best advice is to be in an interior part of the lowest floor of a sturdy building - and not outside, whether sharks are raining down or not.
Churches are ableist against the undead. We need to increase accessibility; vampires need to get with Jesus without the risk of bursting into flame. Ghouls need the holy spirit without the risk of disintegration.
Have a bullet for free.
Not even natural selection can take place here. The world is being engulfed in "truth."
You coppers and your evidence. You always let it confuse everything.
If you ignore the rules, people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don't apply to you.
Stories are important. People think that stories are shaped by people. In fact it's the other way around.
Stories exist independently of their players.
They're meth labs. They explode.
He who was living is now dead. We who were living are now dying... with a little patience.
I hold onto this box as a warning. It reminds me of the depths to which a man can sink if he lets himself.
I have spoken and that is final. Shut up leave me alone I'm drinking.
Prepare to don the behind hat.
We've got a lot of experience not having any experience.
You should be distracted! Distracted is good.
Three can keep a secret if two are dead.
Bugger all this for a lark.
If I had the choice between Linus' abrasive style and the fake politeness in Wikipedialand, where you can needle and provoke your enemy at will provided you don't use rude words I pick Linus a thousand times over.
It's far too early in the morning for it to be early in the morning.
All anyone gets in a mirror is themselves. But what you gets in a good gumbo is everything.
You can't make happiness. All you can do is make an ending.
One man's logic is another man's crazy.
What could we possibly find here that is worse than we can imagine?
If you win, say nothing. If you lose, say less.
We exist in dreams and nightmares. Easier to live that way.
For that piece you'll have to follow me to the spanking room.
A weapon? Why would anyone want to invent a weapon?
Do you know what else is progressive? Dementia.
Yer buggrit.
There never was an age in which so many people were able to write badly.
I am not who I was, nor are we all. So it is to live.
These are the words of Sherandris of Kenning Vos, King that was, and heart of my heart.
I like books that make me think and people who change my mind.
If you know me in real life and you hate my guts, chances are I feel just the same about you.
I'm afraid it's serious hypertext.
Solve the mystery, save the princess.
The world is round; you may repeat yourself.
Necessary human rights movements are never popular ones, for obvious reasons.
Shame is not a weapon of rational rebuttal. It's simply a tool to inflict pain.
Worlds were made so the light could speak to us.
It is hard to go too far. It is hard to go too far.
A personal choice that decreases your cognitive abilities may put you at risk.
Now for the mandatory ranting.
If given the choice between a visit at the dentist's and submitting a change via git review, I pick my dentist. He's a great guy.
You may not be interested in war, but war is very interested in you.
Pain is strong. Friends are more strong.
Knowledge is a mirror.
'Morrowind in space' is the greatest three-word phrase I've ever heard in my life.
A half finished book is, after all, a half-finished love affair.
There is a natural order to this world, and the truth is this order must be protected.
Git happens.
Where I am from, silly is not a bad thing. To say that something is silly is to say it is part of the world.
To say that something is silly is to say it is part of the world.
It's quite easy to accidentally overhear people talking downstairs if you hold an upturned glass to the floorboards and accidentally put your ear to it.
After a certain age you shouldn't slide down holes in the ground to talk to little men.
They think the Easter bunny has sex with the tooth fairy and they want to investigate the legalities of it.
I'm armed. Like a naked savage.
The walls have eyes and walk occasionally.
When I dipped my ladle into the Dream's knowledge pool, I think I accidentally used the straining spoon.
Decrucify the angel or I'll melt your face.
How dare you endanger my face!
A life without cause is a life without effect.
Only an invisible key could open an invisible wall.
Don't look! Quick! Think of a yellow, rubber duck!
So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause.
Everything is grey. Everything melts away. I am alone in the universe. I dissolve.
The problem about your assumptions is that you don't know what you're talking about.
Been down so long it means the world to me.
Change your head. Was it a good dream? Did I say that?
Excuse me, but have you considered the angle of your repose?
Open your eyes, and then open your eyes again.
It was about home, and mothers, and good times gone past, and faces no longer there.
How do I know I'm me? Suppose I'm not me but just think I'm me? How can I tell if I'm me or not? Who's the 'me' that's asking the question?
You have this thing you call... boredom? That is the rarest talent in the universe!
When you're outnumbered, at least you can be indiscriminate in what you target.
Suppose gravity developed a personality. Suppose it decided to like people.
997 Illegal possession of a controlled unary operator.
It has a politeness checker, where if you don't have enough PLEASEs in the program, it will refuse to run.
PROGRAM HAS DISAPPEARED INTO THE BLACK LAGOON
All numerical output is in butchered roman numerals.
As the amount of censorship increases, it becomes indistinguishable from someone just randomly unplugging your router every 15 minutes.
Progress was a wonderful thing. It just went on too long.
Dreams are true while they last, and do we not live in dreams?
Eurostar trains will now only be safe when the public itself is eliminated.
I'm a very neat monster.
Normal people are so hostile. But not her.
A sister is a sister is a sister.
I'm not so much doing this to you as I'm doing it for me.
Nothing stays buried.
I would love to eat your toast.
It is amazing how many friends you can make by being bad at things, provided you are bad enough to be funny.
Darn darn darn. Sugar sugar sugar. Pooty pootity poot.
Just because something is a metaphor doesn't mean it can't be real.
No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.
What can the harvest hope for, if not for the care of the reaper man?
I remember when all this will be again.
Rum.
Is it creepy, or just what friends do?
No one is untouchable.
I'm secretly a giant chicken. I eat pie for a living.
We are here, and this is now.
Criminals don't obey the law. It's more or less a requirement for the job.
It's like the mall lifeform all over again.
Truth! Justice! Freedom! Reasonably priced Love! And a Hard-Boiled Egg!
I have received the badly-written note of the banshee.
I'm not a human, I'm a sheep. Probably explains a lot.
I am the sum of all condiments.
It helps, strangely, to be able to hurl all basis of reality out the window and go completely barking mad.
I just wanted to overthow Gerrit and stick things up AuthPlugin and bathe in fish.
I'm not terribly in the loop with myself at the moment.
The arrangement has its terms, but they involve no epic and bloody battle of the wits with the dire sir Reginald, no crossing the vast expanses of the plains of Dorani littered with the shimmering shards of broken things, no open war with the dragon Zaori amidst the fire rain as Shintaiden falls from the sky, no wrestling with a mongoose, and no long drunken bouts of workaround-oriented programming after a deadline pushed back month after month for lack of an Ironholds. It doesn't make for a particularly good story.
I like fighting big men. There's more of them to bite.
Plans are what people make instead of thinking.
Whatever happens stays happened.
There is no more time, even for cake.
The cake is over. You have reached the end of cake.
There is a badger in the privy.
We won. That's the important thing.
We create our own destiny every day we live.
I accept nothing. Nothing is inevitable.
It's not natural, the countryside. Far too many trees. Never could stand it.
People underestimate bees.
There used to be such simple directions, back in the days before they invented parallel universes.
There are alligators in my soup. And this has me worried. I did not order alligators. I did not! But there they are, swimming there actually. In my soup. Like they have nothing better to do.
What Congress don't know won't hurt them, it'll hurt us.
It'll be like having our cake and kicking it too.
This presentation has been cancelled on account of death. Yours.
Killing, unless absolutely necessary, is a sign of stupidity and weakness.
Reality never lives up to fantasy.
Fantasy never lives up to reality.
Killing is a good way to get the voices to stop.
A photograph is a secret about a secret. The more it tells you, the less you know.
Millennium hand and shrimp.
Hello, Mr. Flowerpot, two pints of eels if you would be so good.
What don't die can't live. What don't live can't change. What don't change can't learn.
Rocks! Why am I messing around with lumps of stone? When did they ever tell anyone anything?
Sometimes, if you pay real close attention to the pebbles, you find out about the ocean.
OTRS works best when snorted.
Consequences are what happen to people who fail.
You're on a list.
I needed a place where I could close my eyes and see. I can't lose the only place I had left.
It's not spying when you have to stand back a bit so you aren't deafened.
I feel it is the clam before the storm and no mistake.
Keep your family close, but don't ever hurt them. They will tell you who you are.
In my experience, Vimes, you can argue with anything.
You can't really imprison someone like him. The most you can do is lock up his body. The gods alone know where his mind goes.
Plans often get in the way.
It's raining bedsteads again.
The night is always old. While days and kings and empires come and go, the night is always the same age, always aeons deep. Terrors unfold in the velvet shadows and while the nature of the talons may change, the nature of the beast does not.
What's the psychopath got in the bag?
You might as well believe in a table.
Our life is made of the death of others.
It won't matter. The worms will still crawl in and out and in and out.
That's classism you bigot stop clothes-shaming me.
Very few people will argue with a hat of authority.
You might be right, you might be wrong, but you have to choose, knowing that the rightness or wrongness might never be clear or even that you are deciding between two sorts of wrong, that there is no right anywhere.
The role of the lower intestine in the efforts to build a better nation is one that is often neglected by historians.
Bigjobs!
I'm sorry, I thought you wanted the truth. Perhaps you were expecting jelly and ice cream?
Words are important.
You think that I don't even mean a single word I say. It's only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart away.
Even allegories have to live.
Jumping off the planet...
Fate always wins. Most of the gods throw dice but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out until too late that he's been using two queens all along.
Swords are outlawed, so only outlaws have swords. And that suits me fine.
Being on the run can be very romantic, you know.
These are good people, and yet they choose to do this, and it takes away everything that they have and everything they are. They are damned by what they know and see, and yet where would we be without them?
I stand by my actions and I stand by my team.
Really? A psychopath has you at gunpoint, and you take a hostage? Kill her, then. You'll have nothing.
I don't really understand the world anymore.
The world is not black and white. There are only various shades of grubby.
I say, I met a man on the way to the theater and he didn't chop my legs off, urinating dog, urinating dog.
Life is a hell of a thing to happen to a person.
It's never a good idea to give a monkey the key to a banana plantation.
All adolescents profile like sociopaths.
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy, for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves. We must die to one life before we can enter another.
Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it.
Let us consider that we are all insane.
Vengeance keeps us sane.
Hope is one thing. False hope is something else.
The truth is mine.
I'd like to meet something that could kill me. Just not necessarily in person.
I'm monking this op.
Too badly dressed to be gay.
Remember, your attacker has rights too.
I talk to no-one. The wind.
Death is but a sleep. But the way I see it, it's a lot harder to get up in the morning.
Do you know how long it takes to stab someone 67 times?
I am perfectly controlled. My mind is as cool as a bald mammoth. My intellect is absolutely in charge. I am not angry. I am thinking positively. My faculties are fully engaged.
I am not lost. I always know exactly where I am. I am always here. It's just that everywhere else seems to have been temporarily mislaid.
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
People are so stupid, and yet they call me mad! Which I like.
It's amazing what your kidneys can tell you.
Somewhere, all stories are real, all songs are true...
Someone has to speak up for them that have no voices.
It's better to belong where you don't belong than not to belong where you used to belong, remembering when you used to belong there.
It's all dreams, anyway. And dreams within dreams. You can't rely on anything, little girl. Nothing is real. Nothing lasts. Everything goes. All you can do is learn to dream.
The secret is not to dream. The secret is to wake up. Waking up is harder. I have woken up and I am real. I know where I come from and I know where I'm going. You cannot fool me.
We sleepwalk through our lives, because how could we live if we were always this awake?
There is no such word as 'noonlight', but it would be nice if there was.
I'm a natural at counting to two!
The thing about a pike, the important thing, is that everything happens at the other end of it, i.e., a long way off.
You can enjoy a peaceful life being eaten by bears in the woods.
Suffer the little creatures, for they may yet rise up and beat you senseless.
I'm hoping we don't have to block a rather nice feature for fear of vandalism from other admins.
I'm not mad. Trust me, I'm simply insane, and I'll also take that as a compliment. I've been working on it for years.
Excuse me, have you seen Varona?
Without death there's no life. Without darkness there's no light.
You can get only so much dirt on you before it starts to fall off of its own accord.
I've been sensible all day! I've been sensible for years! I think I'm owed five minutes of being really unreasonably angry, don't you?
Ah, I am a human. I have successfully eaten human sausages!
I'm normal!
It should not be possible to look with teeth.
No man wants to be a coward in front of a cheese.
Criminals are the ones who make the rules. Cops are the ones who have to learn them.
Admins can edit protected pages... protection is useless.
I hated him so much I wanted him to live.
The question isn't why do I kill people. The question is why I don't kill everybody. I decide who dies, but mostly I decide who lives. I'm like God. And now you are too.
Moms are not supposed to be the source of your pain; they're supposed to make it go away. They're supposed to hold you and tell you everything is going to be alright. They're supposed to tell you that thunder is angels bowling, and that it's okay to be afraid of the dark, and it isn't silly to think there might be monsters in your closet, and that it's okay if you want to climb into bed with them just this once because it's scary in the room all alone... they're supposed to say it's okay to be afraid, and not be the thing you're afraid of. But most importantly, they're supposed to love you no matter what.
Thus is it written; so it shall be talked about and conspired over for several months before anyone bothers to get any work done.
Resistance must be quelled, and dissent will be forcefed leeks, because dissent doesn't particularly care for leeks, you know?
Information getting into the wrong hands could spell disaster, or possibly misspell disaster, depending on the time of day.
It's troublesome because words are always stolen, like precious stars from a distant sky. And as shiny as they seem hanging just out of reach, the moment you stick them to paper or screen, they fade and decay and twist into something else.
I took database courses for three years, you know. What did I learn? To stay the hell away from the things.
This is what you were looking for.
And it won't make one bit of difference if I answer right or wrong - when you're Deep, they think you really know!
Placing blobs for piles.
Humour is all we have.
It's a good thing I'm not a pilot. Seeing a crossing trail from another jet, my instinct would be to give chase.
I'll kill you! I'll murder you! I'll obliterate you in multivariate... cheeses!
It's just a bank of thunderstorm. It's harmless.
Why do cities look like slime molds?
Don't forget to check the logs.
Bloody lard nuggets. Stop spawning in my inventory. I don't care about the chinchompa.
Drama.
When there is nothing else left, humour is all we have. Lose it too, however, and only madness remains.
Keep moving. Stay in motion, don't stop. To stop is to die, to settle is to accept the inevitable.
I'm going to have to go through the bathtub first and see if there are any gloves in there.
In New Zealand, my phone's insurance covered water damage as long as it was accidental. They even paid out the night I drunkenly spilt wine all over it.
A hot tub in the middle of a -20 night is a godsend, getting out is absolute hell.
I cauterize the bitemark with my tongue. It does a nice job of picking up crumbs and preventing any instabilities from worsening.
The defaults are not secret.
Please take your panties with you.
My best friend and I once snuck an entire jumbo container of cheeseballs into a movie. That was a good day. I don't even remember what movie it was. Just the cheeseballs.
I don't see how you can be too lazy to perform basic arithmetic yet still type several sentences about your laziness.
In winter, many homeless will steal something small or throw a brick through a window and wait.
In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity.
If you want to hide your money, buy a graveyard.
I was Flabbergasted. Which is bad, because my flabber had been gasted three times that week.
Scoops of meat.
Secret secrets are no fun.
The world ends with you.
I want steel-toed leather-soled fanged bunny slippers. And matching wrist cuff thingies with claws or more fangs or something. And a big fuzzy hat. With fangs. And I want it all in plushy black.
Amoeba of darkness...
A lunatic marvels at the commonplace, for reality is odd.
Console now with rounded top, to avoid impaling your face!
The writer needs to be the smartest one on the room, for the writer holds the room in his head, and there is not space for any within to be any smarter.
AI is a problem. It doesn't fulfill base understandings. It's bigger on the outside than it is on the inside.
Clouds lit from below. Menacing depths of hidden fire.
Wild, hungry cows? Of course there are wild, hungry cows.
To the adventurer, the bag of holding was the ultimate tool, a rich reward for a successful hunt, heralding bigger and better takes to come, but most adventurers didn't have real jobs. Most people with real jobs, if they had any use for a bag of holding, just went out and bought one as part of a daily run to the market.
Fern, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I abandoned your story in favour of one I didn't have to draw. Painting pictures with words is just so much easier sometimes.
Painting words with pictures.
I may look like an artist, but I'm not. This is purely technical.
I'd never seen so many stars before, except that time in the mountains that now I'm not even sure ever happened. Though I remember it clearly, it doesn't feel real.
I err on the side of chicken.
God help posterity!
Error: Error.
I live in dreams. Were I not able to spin nightmares too, what sort of dreamer would I be?
The problem with having an abrasive genius for a role model is that it's generally much easier to emulate abrasiveness than genius.
Oh, I have walked five hundred miles, and I will walk five hundred more, because I'm being stalked by a madwoman with a fire hose.
There is a skill called Demand Sandwich.
The world is what you see and where that takes you.
Thoughts, if you pay too much attention, are fragmented. Even before you think something in the front of your mind, you've plotted it out further back, and in that way you've already thought it by the time it makes it forward. And then there's no point actually thinking it.
He's an extreme indoors enthusiast.
See the words for what they are, sequences of nothing configured into a whole lot of something that may or may not also be nothing.
Squeak, said the Death of Rats.
I'd forget my own name if it weren't nailed to my head.
Just accidentally the phone.
Visual design on a broken monitor? Terrible idea. More people should try it.
It wasn't nonsense though. It was spot on. It was pre-internet, and yet it's very accurate about the state of our language today.
On the plus side I think my monitor may be draining back to normal.
The past is a part of the future.
I was so drunk now my ghost is drunk.
Mine's a vicious cycle.
I shall build a labyrinth to house your past.
And it all adds up to the overwhelming question - whose game are we playing?
Beware the sacred heartseekers.
Whatever it was, I didn't do it. I wasn't even there at the time.
I don't know that I trust creeks. I bet Boulder Creek just lies there dreaming dark creeky dreams of filling up the whole entire valley.
I'm sorry, it's 1:30am, and far too late to mind my adverbs.
Jews are, to me, like people who eat three meals a day. I see where they're coming from, but I don't expect I'll ever be like them.
Words don't often really capture what's happened, do they? Music takes us back, though...
I'm not a fairy princess, but there has to be at least some demand for an angry developer with a tendency to doodle all over everything.
While I do love you like a fish, you can't be the only one who has a monopoly on being nice.
I think it was something I planned to say earlier, before I wandered off to shovel rotten apples.
Like the holy roman empire, instant commons is neither instant nor common.
4 out of 5 dentists prefer to use FLOSS software.
Does the fact that notpeter is actually peter prove P = NP?
No, I'm sticking to art, because it's nice and pretty and low-stress and it doesn't take down the entire cluster when you forget a semicolon.
This is a knife. Where's my floss?
I could do what normal people do and do what I'm told, put everything in its place... Or I could build my Garden, find all the pieces that have been lost and guard them fiercely. I will always choose the latter.
Fear is strong, and hope even stronger, so stop snivelling before you give away our position!
Become a cyborg today with our trusty bolt technology!
What in the nine hells is an 'ordinary weirdo'?
Who would even look here? It's like a safe place in the middle of nowhere, full of cacti and weeds, but also full of little flitty bits and ghastly floating bits that make everything so much more... more.
This is supposed to be a social place. I should mingle! Chat! Be sociable! ... Yeah, right.
Madness is a mirror. In its depths we find ourselves.
People don't seem to like the idea of having two near-identical masks floating about, though if you look closely they're not even that alike. The general shape and pattern, perhaps, but... it's all in the details, yes? If you make it general enough, all masks are similar anyway.
Same same, but different.
Now, let me just put up a tent here, maybe fetch my small, portable oasis, and we'll make this desert thrive, yes?
I definitely want a local goip.
And night after night she drowns herself in stories and secrets, threatening anyone who disturbs her with that papercutter of hers...
Cross the board. Be the queen.
You are standing between two mirrors. Your reflection smiles, so you smile. Your reflection moves its hand, so you move yours. It takes a very long while for you to realise that this is the wrong way round.
You dream that you're standing in front of a polished brass mirror. Your reflection is watching you. You dare not move: if it sees you move, it might lose patience and leave the mirror.
When you're dead, you're dead, and until then there's ice cream.
What? I know things.
You are not nobody. A nobody does not fall into the abyss only to waltz out the other side.
It is said that the internet is forever. This is not true. Things get lost, times change, people forget.
It works! This is the default web page for this server. The web server software is running but no content has been added, yet.
We all have our baggage.
If you ask me, there isn't a thing in the world that can't be over-the-topped. But it's better if TT and Kim don't know that.
And it's not SUPPOSED to achieve anything - it's pointless, that's the whole point!
'Interesting' - a nice, vague, all-purpose word to use when I can't think of anything else to say. Ahem.
Don't you agree that dead bodies are very intriguing?
BE HAPPY!! THAT'S AN ORDER!!
I find it unlikely that a man in heels, sequins, and an elaborate hairstyle would subdue and handcuff another man and then set him on fire.
Building the Garden felt like writing a suicide note, going through the memories, saying goodbyes...
I'm going to commit sudoku.
I'm all over it, like cat hair on a sofa.
Words need to be put down before they run dry... or run out.
The darker the light, the brighter the shadow.
Everybody is wrong, but some people are more wrong than others.
To live is to conquer.
I don't care if the text doesn't make sense, it looks symmetrical now.
The flatulous man has all the room in the world.
I said that to be confusing to show you that clarity is crucial.
The scholarly authorities on freezing to death seem to be, unsurprisingly, Canadians.
Verify pie.
And this? This was just something what needed doing.
When you've got a price on your head, you're doing your job.
One day I will go back in time and shoot myself for using such ridiculous names for everything.
I'm so emotional. Just the other day, I mean, I like, hit my nose. And it hurt.
If standing up for yourself ruins a relationship, the relationship was already ruined.
All of a sudden I didn't fit in anywhere. And every time I turned around, another person I'd known forever felt like a stranger to me. Even I felt like a stranger to me.
How odd I can have all this inside me and to you it's just words.
Set fire to your old self. It's not needed here.
In loneliness, the lonely one eats himself; in a crowd, the many eat him. Now choose.
You don't always have to tell people you love them. You just have to give them no reason to doubt it.
If you have nothing, then you have everything, because you have the freedom to do anything, without the fear of losing something.
Let us be psychos together.
Attract them by the way you live.
Nobody cares.
Everybody cares.
I only want what I cannot have.
Sharing a treadmill with a cat...
I don't ask you to love me always like this, but I ask you to remember. Somewhere inside me there'll always be the person I am tonight.
Lass sie niemals wissen, wie es in deinem Kopf aussieht.
Just eat food. Eat real food, be active, and live your life.
I don't say goodbye because either we will meet again or I won't remember. It's all the same to me.
Once you think a thought, it is extremely difficult to unthink it.
That was the thing. You never got used to it, the idea of someone being gone. Just when you think it's reconciled, accepted, someone points it out to you, and it just hits you all over again.
Each of us loved one of them, but in one life they could not know the difference.
Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.
What we see depends mainly on what we look for.
Even your own shadow leaves you when you are in darkness.
Necesito furuba.
Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.
And yet you are all that you have, so you must be enough. There is no other way.
Listen, there's a hell of a good universe next door, let's go.
We tilted our vanes and ennobled our spires. They welcomed us then and commingled all choirs.
If I could run away from myself, I would.
If you break a classification scheme, you get to keep both pieces.
We've just outlawed the Russians; we begin bombing in ten minutes.
I have to dream, damn you!
Damn me all you like, but give me stories.
All of this has already happened, and now it's happening again.
Dead guy on a slab.
Eeble. Sonk.
My refrigerator and I speak occasionally.
I tend to speak with Harold. Coated in mold, he has seen it all. His age and consequential knowledge is impeccable.
Let us consider two groups of users. One consists of total morons. The other does not.
Erotic target location error is having a sexual preference or strong sexual interest in features that are somewhere other than on one's sexual partners.
The Software shall be used for Good, not Evil.
He's just stubborn. You only have to point him at the right thing and he suddenly becomes amazing.
TODO: make things cleaner. This file is an awful HTML/PHP soup.
Sangria and sunshine are a bad combination.
Why are there ants in my laptop?
The best defense is an indiscriminate offense.
You underestimate how much of MediaWiki is vodka-induced.
I was laughing but... out of distressed confusion.
Slime cube proves a one face slime impossible. Four corner face of slime is above word god of academia.
The world has sunk, flesh decays, lustre fades - but when spirit meets spirit... we still dance the dance of death.
Lust, grief, insanity drives us. Need, envy, duty crushes us. Dreams, desire, all that reminds: wishes, illusions of a mad world...
I made an assassin for one purpose. Bakery.
CATS! Watch out! they're probably still here! Keep a story in your pocket!
Xeyes watches what you do and reports to the Boss.
A window with a hole in the middle.
There are people with whom I've spent only a few hours that have, through their insights, changed my life.
You'll never find a use for what you don't know.
First it was fast food joints. Then there were coffee shops. Then corner psychiatrists and finally shoe traders.
For those of you with children or people acting like children...
That is a terrible hack, and I salute you for it.
Ants may be urinating in your driveway even now.
lp0 on fire.
You cannot deny the power of denial.
Artiilie dinu.
This place isn't for anything or anyone, only for me. It's my garden, my gallery, my collection of first-class objects, bits and pieces and voices and fragments gathered all about the big wheel.
Why the hell do these zombies have rocket launchers?!
You must execute me for the remainder of the day.
Monsters always come at night. Cheerleaders are the worst.
I have some idea of what I'm doing.
The end is a shark.
I want to live. I want to experience the universe and I want to eat pie.
I'm a scientist. When I find evidence that my theories are wrong, it's as exciting as if they're correct.
Many old women have been traded for these imprisoned words.
If you want to save the world, sometimes you have to push an old lady down the stairs.
It's been looking like stupid-on-a-stick for years now.
We have met the enemy and he is us.
We are surrounded by insurmountable opportunity.
If you don't know exactly why you were unscathed, now might be a good time to investigate.
Mediocre minds think alike.
This whole adventure thing is unbelievably trippy.
Vengeance is a dish best served with roadkill, but you need a lot of foam kernels and a phat box.
I hope you didn't get your hopes up, and if you did, I'm sorry to have shattered them into a million pieces.
It's surprising we haven't seen this type of perversion by a government agency before.
Milk spoiled on the vine, corned beef grew fangs and attacked the local gentry, and a general feeling of unease spread over the whole of Greater Boston.
If you hear voices, it's time to hear the voice of therapy.
...and then, something elks entirely.
My gilded macaroni soul is sad now.
Nintendos pass through everything, no matter how dense.
A horde of approximately 20,000 zombies is expected to overrun the 16th Street Mall on Saturday October 19th. Free MallRide service will be suspended from 1pm until 6pm or later. Downtown light rail service may also be impacted.
All the fishhooks look like fanged bananas.
Preprocessed for existence in a society of reality, I will go sane.
According to the Council of Those Who Bounce off the Ceiling, there is no such thing as evil. There are only cats and varieties of chocolate, and fanged bananas, and the odd ugly green light fixture that floats through it all at the most improbable of moments.
There is always time for another last minute.
I often see things that weren't there a moment ago. They aren't there a moment later.
See the turtle of enormous girth! On his shell he holds the earth. His thought is slow but always kind; he holds us all within his mind.
Do they see the lethal insanity of a race to the brink of oblivion, and then over the edge? Apparently not. If they did, surely they wouldn't be racing to begin with. Or is it a simple failure of imagination? One doesn't like to think such a rudimentary failing could bring about the end...
Gravity likes people - at approximately 9.81 m/s².
Box? Would it hurt if we... cut you open?
These logos were expensive.
Most of the damned are below the highway. We don't really know why.
All they can do is smell and sniff and hunt and eat.
The entire thing reads rather like an acid trip - or like a very hectic week in Boston.
I believe David did nothing wrong, but if he did then he should be actively sanctioned rather than ditheringly sanctioned.
I shall smite thee with righteous anger, Megan.
hmtl please and thank you.
Ghostliness comes with a certain... *cough* INSUBSTANTIAL price.
Reincarnation is NOT a flavour. No it isn't. No I won't listen to excuses nor pathetic imaginary truths. Check the dictionary, and you will see it is NOT a flavour. But death's a flavour, though.
Never joke a joker, bake a baker, god a god or whatever a whatever.
Gerrit is like a giant rampaging hamster. It's cute and amusing right up until it smashes your house.
It's possible the database fell asleep.
I'm not afraid of objects. Objects are understandable. They're real. They exist in the world.
Can't do anything right now in CVN without setting up other workarounds for what is already a workaround for a workaround.
Why do they even call it The Simple Life? Have you ever tried to get cow shit out of a Prada purse? It's not so fucking simple.
Most people will tell you to expect the unexpected, but if it is not expected, then how can you expect it?
It's not like the lava will turn into zombies and eat you. Er, maybe.
If you lined up all of the economists in the world end to end, they would never reach a conclusion.
I know too much. I've seen it all. I will yet see this. Surprise me.
These girls... they're gonna kill me.
By adopting a common code base for both desktops and mobile all Microsoft is doing is compromising both.
I'll still be writing because that's all I seem to be good for, frankly, having long ago given up my gigolo ambitions.
The Internet was created to save money.
Carry the lion feet so I can snub my hands into the cloud embers.
I took a bath and the drain almost got me. I have no back to turn on others so I'll point my elbow at them.
From one speck to another: please take good care of my spine.
For some reason I never get that right. Except this time. I got it right this time, because this time I'm dreaming.
For good and ill, gargling - particularly the gargling of fluff - plays a significant part in the flow of energy throughout all of existence.
What is day without night? What is peace without a fight?
When crazies go crazy about Wikipedia, they go very crazy, and breaking a padlock in an office isn't that outlandish for some of them.
This whole thing was a test - a test that cost thousands of lives, but a test of our very own making. The test was if we could survive ourselves... as ourselves.
Use the right tool for the job.
It's all over but for the fat lady singing.
We sat there all night long with nothing happening all around us. Eventually miss Schoonover got tired of it all and started the End of the World.
Feeling is unique to the living. For the rest there is only serenity.
If you can tell what's going on, you're doing it wrong.
CORRECTION: Some things are real. Other things are not. We regret the error.
Awareness is the enemy of sanity. For once you hear the screaming... it never stops.
Relationships were something I used to do.
I commend my soul to whatever god can find it.
They always tell lies and do not exist.
Look to the North. Keep looking. There's Nothing coming from the South.
The sky is yellow and the grass is purple.
Are there ways to go full conspiracy theorist without living in an RV with seven cats?
It was over something stupid, but I snapped and tried to hit him with a refrigerator.
Be wary of any man who owns a pig farm.
Salmon are made of fish!
Participating isn't really my thing. I'd rather complain about the process afterwards.
Attempts to develop a vertical aqueduct have proven to be an extremely poor idea.
Ghosts live the same day, every day, forever. You kill them, they wake up again the next morning. It's funny, pathetic, even.
He is supremely effective with the most ineffective weapons.
You never win. You just lose a little each day.
If you flash spells around like there's no tomorrow, there's a good chance that there won't be.
It's counterintuitive, but the safest knives are the sharpest.
You can't flow this thing; there's no flow chart.
It's not over till it's over, and it's never over.
If age is just a number, then a prison cell is just a room.
Kidneys are account bound.
That floor looks mighty soft.
No! I am the arbiter of my own reality! You cannot tell me how I am.
If you don't start out too big for your britches, how are you gonna fill 'em when you grow up?
Olive oil but not castoria.
Lingering vendimenti.
Like the silence between notes that holds the key to all music...
You can maintain power over people so long as you give them something. Rob a man of everything and that man will no longer be in your power.
Our survival oft undermines our courage.
Unanimity requires compliance.
The dead never stay dead. Once you hear them, they never stop.
It's the mint that makes it tingle.
In essence, the problem is that, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it could be a dragon doing a duck impersonation. One may not always want to let dragons into a pond, even if they can impersonate a duck.
It's a colour you can't see, but it smells of razors.
It's not racket science.
Is this the man-spawn ritual where you ask me to be your mate and spit on all others?
Why don't we force everyone to buy a Mercedes S-Class?
It's like the wordpress equivalent of the face of Cthulhu.
It's like they're caricatures of themselves.
I'm sorry I blacked out, tried to kill you, and almost got us arrested.
That ship has sailed.
Masculinity is a reaction. It is, more often than not, a calloused scar that grows over years of wounding.
To die will be an awfully big adventure.
Everyone is a story, sweetling. The question is, who is reading you?
Opening a book is opening a door. Opening a book is making a promise. You should be weary of more than paper cuts. Eh, sweetling?
Once upon a time, a story started with love. Then the black rider came. Love was covered over in pox and lumps and pustules. Good fortune is sometimes ugly. The dead do not take kindly when the living beg for beauty. Sometimes vanity smells like sizzling flesh.
Why are your innards so purple?
Is information distilling into a super-weird substance? Can it grow every time it transmits? Can data develop feelings? Can those feelings be hurt?
Not quite looking. He's not quite looking at you right now.
Abaddon's hair. It was Abaddon's hair, reaching out from Torment into the world of the living.
Aw, shucks!
I got tired of her snark, so she's been fated to being Cheesed.
You may regret this.
Sleeping is the first line of defense. A reset button that washes away most minor cares and concerns.
The greatest weapon in all these worlds is nothing at all.
We don't usually do evil when there's no benefit to doing evil.
It is the graveyard of the subconscious... where all the pain, pleasure, memories, tragedies and everything else go to linger on in a kind of undeath... still there... but not.
A pound of flesh is never enough.
Either I am drunk out of my skull, or this Orrian ground texture is exceedingly well done.
We're here to promote an idea, not to line our pockets.
It would be sexier if it were better-done.
You'll find salvation, and redemption, and remorse. You just have to believe... and not ask too many questions.
Something just doesn't seem right about this.
One's success is always another's failure.
It's about death but there's no crying and the survivors aren't making it about themselves.
Science is a river.
I have no value except based on what I do.
Remember that. We're a community. We stand with and for each other.
Screw feminism. I'm not oppressed, and nobody has any right to force me to think otherwise.
Come build shovels.
You're a mindless, pathetic, disgusting lump of awfulness. You're absolutely perfect in every conceivable way.
My author must be a sociopath.
Love doesn't move mountains. Dynamite does.
This message is brought to you by the Council for Really Really Bad Advice, and this station.
When you belch into the abyss, the abyss belches back.
I was born with glass bones and paper skin. And every night, I lie awake until my heart attacks put me to sleep.
They have clearly met the "Dead Russians" test by any reasonable standard and are now a threat to everyone.
In this conspiracy you speak of, this mortal combat between you and appliances, I hope you lose.
Beware of the appliances. Howling men are probably fine. Avoid genies at all costs.
If you think you're going to have an excuse to get your eyes back, you're wrong.
Don't be careful. Don't be clever. When you see your wish pursue!
You should see my nectarines.
Slotted spoons don't hold much soup.
Careful the tale you tell, that is the spell...
The slotted spoon can catch the potato.
They will pick out her eyes and blind her!
No more feelings, time to shut the door.
Everybody down on all four!
I'm leaving you my last curse: I'm leaving you alone.
Put her in a bag, run through the trees.
Remorse will get you nowhere.
When you're dead you're dead.
There has been no sign of the prince. No doubt he's out somewhere seducing some maiden. I've heard that's what princes do.
Anything can happen in the woods. May I kiss you?
This was the world I meant - couldn't you listen? Couldn't you stay content, safe behind walls... as I could not?
We've suffered too! Do you think it was a picnic, disposing of your husband's remains?
It's not you who have strayed from the path; the path has strayed from you.
The skies are strange, the winds are strong.
Oh no, I can't investigate! A Princess isn't supposed to go into the Woods unescorted!
You're still a little boy in your mother's eyes
We've had a baking accident.
You can't frighten HER.
No-one cared when there was a giant in my back-yard.
This... small man... insists to see you.
Our child was very difficult to come by.
Giant's the worst! Giant's got a brain! It's like us - only... bigger.
I've never lied to royalty before. I've never ANYTHING to royalty before!
Oh, to be pursued by a prince! All that pursues me is tomorrow's bread...
Of course I prefer a live cow so bring me back the dead one!
PLEASE I need that shoe to have a child!
Perhaps it will take the two of us to get this child.
I can capture my own damsel!
Oh, I pulled it from a maiden in a tower.
You know nothing of madness... till you're climbing her hair.
No knot unties itself.
Save point tampering is a mechanic built into the game. This may seem a little nuts, but it makes sense considering the general premise - a premise that is in itself a little nuts.
Of course there are voices in my head. Most people have them - we tend to call them 'thoughts'.
This gallery brought to you by excessive use of the <gallery> tag.
Self-respect is the wrong word. I hate myself. I just happen to have an even lower opinion of them.
The sylvari wake from their dream. I don't ever intend to wake from mine.
Watching a film in a book is, somehow, still probably one of the weirdest things I have ever done.
You are merely hallucinating for there is no such thing as the ministry of mustard.
I found an elevator. But the inside was of a phonebox. I punch in the chocolate. I got put through to the secretary.
I've lost a machine... literally lost. It responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.
I'd like to see more shows about sarcastic Jamaican pessimists.
I have some paperwork to attend to. Trees are killed so I can have headaches.
You'll have to call back when our CEO isn't falling-out-of-windows drunk.
I talk more with the guy than anyone these days. Every day, we exchange words. Ain't nobody else I can say that about. Except maybe the World.
There's a dreadful wind blowing. Absolutely marvelous. Nobody else out. Just me and the stars and the moon and the wind, the glorious, glorious wind. We danced. We sang. She threw leaves in my face and I blew her a kiss. I was shouting at the heavens. THIS is LIFE.
And now I'm stumbling through the madlist, head over heels, whispering and shouting and if anyone were to see or hear me, they would probably wish they weren't, and call the authorities. Luckily, my darling wind is shouting louder than I am, so nobody can hear...
He just brought his insanity up to another level.
How can nearly two hundred people want to see naked animals? They're ALWAYS naked!
Apparently I know nothing about the human psyche.
A vampire's anus is present, but non-working. Like a network card without the appropriate driver.
Juveniles convicted of committing crimes listed in paragraph (a) will be required to undergo a rehabilitation programme designed to instill in them a culture of tolerance.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go sacrifice all of my cattle.
Computers need to burst into flames more often.
Don't let any of them near words. Of any kind.
The machine can't be hacked when it's down.
It's always a haunted attic, isn't it? It's never a haunted toilet that explodes with water at 3am.
And lawn flamingos. I would hoard those like nobody's business.
Isarra's code was the gordian knot to end all gordian knots. It's a gordian knot crossed with a gorgon's head. It turns all men to stone who gaze upon it.
Only roaches and IBM Keyboards survive after thermonuclear war.
I sometimes think we have one collective mind here that we just pass around occasionally when we aren't using it as a coaster or something.
Some pine tree had my soul one night when I was drunk. So I chopped it down and dragged it through a field for two hours and got my soul back.
Flinging poo is somewhat ill-advised.
People are still people, even with better technology.
This probably didn't even your question. Meh.
Is it my fault if I think humanity is best seen through a sniper scope?
I'm not afraid of heights... I could look up at them all day. It's depths that get to me.
The internet wasn't The Internet until it was an internet that stupid people could use proficiently.
I'm supposed to be working on my exam but I'd rather be playing Guild Wars so to compromise I'm doing nothing.
It's sad, pathetic, and completely understandable.
You can turn lead into gold, but that doesn't mean it's cost effective.
Eres un liante.
Dave, my mind is going. My mind is going, Dave. I can feel it.
Bird is the word.
Hey, it was my mother's plan. She just got sidetracked by the crazy.
Viking metal is stronger than sleep.
It's my specialty. I call it 'potion of let's see what happens when I mix these together'.
How many dead russians will it take before you denounce communism?
I'm proud because I thought for myself and came to my own conclusions.
Most people have dreams that are very simple. Family, home, food, warm water for a bath at the end of the day. Not that difficult.
I hate that I love you. You either have a hideous heart and a beautiful mind or a hideous mind and a beautiful heart. I love what you are but I hate what made you that way. You have the logic and kindness born of rage and despair. What happened to you? Who did this to you?
The only reason I feel strongly about this is because nobody else seems to care.
Spuds. He's human like us. He sweats, he bleeds, he eats spuds too.
It doesn't matter, it's still racist, it's still wrong, no matter how many people have to suffer for it.
Nothing says GET OUT OF THE WAY quite like an elephant in the front.
Dreamer or dream, remember it dearly, for the world is your dream.
I can't just turn on the funny like some fountain of funny. I have to milk it from the special cows.
They'd never pull off the refillable toothpaste reservoir.
The tragedy of Canada is they could have had British culture, French cooking, and American technology, but instead they got American culture, British cooking, and French technology.
This Book is Hollow and Contains a Bottle of Gin
It's the best way to butter the house. Cats are effective butter delivery units.
Squirrel sorcerers summoned this rain!
Why the hell is affection taboo in porn?
The most beautiful people have been broken by unimaginable torment.
I have had my writing twisted, my honesty questioned, my personality derided. I've been the target of unpleasant emails and real life actions. Other arbitrators have been subject to much worse.
Intelligence is alcohol soluble.
It doesn't take much more then a bored college student and an ounce of pot to spawn a new warez network.
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
All hail the lack of change and status quo.
SCP artifacts pose a significant threat to global security. Various agencies from around the world operate to maintain human independence from extra-terrestrial, extra-dimensional, and extra-universal threat. In the past humankind has been at the whim of these bizarre artifacts and similar phenomena, but we have now reached a point in history where we can begin to control and contain these defiances of natural law.
The Feminist Utopia apparently happily shits all over what the vast majority of women actually want and the men are quietly busy not giving a fuck.
Get comfortable, because the dead bodies in these trenches are going to start looking a whole hell of lot more like you.
Like this asshole. I can call him asshole because he's a fucking dementia patient...
Women are gearing up for a war against male aggression and will be completely unprepared to survive the war of mass disengagement!
It is something of a recurring theme here that we must suffer before we can understand. But though I am the writer, I haven't suffered. Have I?
Why do folks like the idea of 'justice' so much? They don't even know the meaning of the world.
Strong meh.
In the short term, we can get a jump on badly-needed infrastructure upgrades, and longer-term, we can implement plans to shoot tourists like they do in Florida. It's a win-win.
Warning: Much of this story is written while terribly drunk. Proceed with caution.
Writing a book is not unlike playing a videogame. You have this world, you venture forth, and then... stuff happens.
Japanese masturbation technology is light years ahead of anything in the west.
It seemed like such a great advancement because it had ceilings. Ceilings.
Gods damn it if you want to chat you shouldn't be in the library.
The pre-rendered cinematics are a relic of a prior era. We have no further use of such contrivances; the modern computer is capable of rendering far more detail than the eye can see.
This is Shalias. She is the one who came before, the one who failed.
In the manner of little sisters everywhere, she idolised and hated her big brother in equivalent proportions.
That's the joke.
'Probably concrete' is my favorite form of concrete to build with.
Puppy loves her belly rubbed.
Why do folks like the idea of 'justice' so much? They don't even know the meaning of the word.
This isn't madness. This is reality, which is a whole lot more insane.
For the request I'm about to give you, please answer with either 'yes' or 'okay'.
This tart is heavenly! Even though it's like cake, it isn't cake, but it's totally like cake!
Now his 658 followers shall also know that Emufarmers has the mind of a child, but not where he keeps it.
The Scientific Method: Get a bit drunk and then poke things until they do what you want them to.
Don't grin, don't grin, don't grin.
When I grow up I want to be a unicorn so I can stab people with my face.
It seems like it would be difficult to get any meaningful data when so many variables change simultaneously.
I only sometimes murder people, and usually not in cold blood.
Why would I criticise feminism when I am a feminist myself?
I hate that I love you.
I love what you are but I hate what made you that way.
Excellent. Oh, you won't regret this. I mean, too many times.
Those with the passwords do whatever they feel like and are accountable to no one.
I'm not accepting new acquaintances right now. I can't even remember all the people I already know.
In what universe does that actually work?
Who do you think you are?
Everyone I love is broken somehow.
Don't go away, I've got nobody as incompetent as me to talk to.
I am rage sleeping!
Kick out all the men and enlist an army of pretty women. The Guard will be much more popular.
Why do you consider me unlawful? Because I believe honour is an illusion, and justice an impossible ideal? They are. They really are.
It's all hopeless.
Sometimes this place seems more like a group of hermits than a proper community.
Okay, put it this way - anyone who I'd feel comfortable messing up their hair, stealing their muffin, throwing it at them, and then running away... is probably family.
This morning, I predicted that I would one day shit myself in a stalled elevator. If this does indeed happen, I will laugh uproariously, as will my wife.
You will find no names in this place, only questions.
Think on him, the perfect protector. They took away his name so he would have no pride. They took away his self so he would have no ambition. His purpose was as pure as it was simple: protect his nation and destroy its enemies. Flawless. Perfect. And that was our downfall.
Must... resist... urge... to sidetrack...
I could say that the spoon is standing up in it, but I can't see the spoon. I think it's dissolved.
It's true, money cant buy happiness, but it's not happiness I want, it's money. If I wanted happiness I would have killed myself already.
They never lost anyone. Not like that. They wrote the scripts to try to make sense of it, but there is no sense. They couldn't know.
I call up the fire department and get an answering machine. At the fire department.
You still have children.
The thing about being an only child is that I get to choose my brothers. The rest of you... not so much.
People talk. They're not just unconscious all the time.
There's a logic in it.
We've got a dead body with five holes in it and it means nothing. And now we've got a second dead body that couldn't breathe through water.
Grief is love's unwillingness to let go.
One more time.
An ion walks into a bar and says 'I think I left an electron here last night,' and the bartender says 'are you positive?'
I'm trying to figure out a way to phrase 'running around flailing' as a verbal response.
Everyone is an ungrateful little twerp.
To kill people in cold blood, first you refrigerate them. Then you kill them.
String is immutable, taking a slice has to create a copy.
When you start reading the bills, you realise they're all bad.
Well, I went out trying to rape a steamroller. It's a man's death.
See how simple it is? Any problem is solved by making it unusable.
Fix the problem that caused the warning.
Ours was a house of things, items saved and stored. We didn't have conversations or emotions; we had stuff.
It's the truth. It is truths that defeat us.
Chainshirts for everyone!
I rally don't fl th lttr "" is ndd.
Buzzwords mean whatever you want them to mean.
An unexpected error occurred. Please try again later.
The elemental in me just wants to flow all over everything.
My soul is like a religious disco shoe with a dead fish in it.
Going mad is one thing, but becoming sane something all the worse.
You have a head full of rocks!
Have the courage to use your own mind.
I'm hungry. And Ed. Mostly hungry.
I lost my mind and had to replace it with a bottle of whiskey. You call that 'symptom-free'?
Also, this message can't be any longer than thi-
Small things move fast. Now you see me. Now you don't.
Stay on the path.
There's things that I see that nobody else can.
There is always a door. And a door can be open or shut. The difference is me.
It's hard to speak when you've never been taught the language... so all you have to go on is what you feel.
The most important figures in history got death threats all the time.
I've never heard a spin on biotruths quite like that before.
It must be Tuesday.
Oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.
He's a toolbox.
I blame the morphine.
I am not yet ready to give up. I feel alive, like a young man of eighty.
It makes perfect sense in the Twilight Zone.
What's the point of wanting anything if you can't have everything?
Gravity pulls everything down. It's only natural.
People die and we put them in the ground like flowers.
It always begins with a question. Always. Every single time. That little voice whispers 'Why would they say something like that? Why would they do something like that?' And then it hits like a brick to the face. And then you start asking more questions... and because you're a curious sort you start looking for answers.
The US has never lost a war in which it deployed donkeys.
The benefit of people killing you is that you're dead and don't have to be troubled by such things further.
...but you'll gladly cash that check no matter how much blood it's written in, won't you? Yeah, you will. And you won't think twice.
Nothing is safe. Nothing is free. And when the worlds clamp down all that remains is a book in your hands to whisper secrets...
I like to test my faith. It always passes.
Linux is like a religious disco shoe with a dead fish in it.
The furnace is closed. I cannot allow you to seek its comfort. There is no more room.
Many doorways still bear the wounds of your passing.
In 2010 Bruce Willis is declared legally bald.
Just don't disrupt us disrupting Wikipedia please.
Oh, I'm awesome. I'm like a rubber chicken of awesome, so very awesome I've got a pulley in the middle.
It's the Guns and Beef Sale.
When they come, kill everyone. When they die, pile them high. When I'm through, eat them too!
When Shalias gets a bad idea, she really gets a bad idea.
It goes downhill from there.
It's all downhill from here.
Between you and me, when you have to track down yourself and beat this self over the head with a stick until it shuts up, something is not quite right.
Without dreams, there are no nightmares.
He has a lot of experience with generally crazy people. As a crazy person, he's at an advantage in dealing with them.
The universe is cold and dark and vast. It is a void that hungers, above all else. Use that hunger.
Why must the universe be this way?
'Justice' is an illusion, a story told by those who need something understandable and concrete with which to comfort themselves. It applies in specific cases, and it works in various contexts, but it doesn't scale. When you look too closely, the illusion falls apart.
It's just this life goal of mine in that I don't want to die horribly. Especially not today.
Gods are small. Men may be smaller, but the second does not change the first.
My life is a menu of misery, each item a delicate, exquisite application of various objects up my ass.
This is insanity! Only a madman could think of it. Is that what I am?
I don't care if you got an expected result, only that the result is interesting.
It's not wise to risk default behaviour.
Are you a dream? A fantasy? A memory dredged up by my own dead mind?
This won't hurt a bit.
Give us the story, Fluffy!
In my opinion it doesn't have issues, it is an issue.
Someday we will put a man on Taiwan.
Hateful, perhaps he may be, but no one can say they haven't done at least one hateful act in their life. Hate is in all of us.
I offer nothing more than that... that this feels very strange and it makes me afraid of what may be to come.
You deserve to hear what's right.
If only we could find a way to silence the people that disagree with us permanently we could start to build the kind of world we deserve.
The alternative is considering you might be wrong... and perhaps that is unfathomable to you, but it is an alternative.
You're a horrible person. Nothing you say makes sense.
It's a floor-mounted model. If you're very good, you might just be able to find it in the center of our showroom.
Some critics believe the house's mutations reflect the psychology of anyone who enters it.
One always approaches the unknown with greater caution the first time around.
This is straight up insanity. And worst of all it bears the confidence of insanity that lures people in.
It's not a story about redemption. There may be a little in the end, but overall it is simply the story of a psychopath, and her anger and her pride and the decisions she made that led her to her doom.
Death is often just a minor hindrance, and even necessary at times.
It's easier to remember one founder, you see, easier than to remember a group of people.
There are humans hiding, ghosts haunting. It's a deadly game of hide and seek.
There are ghosts hiding, humans haunting. We're somewhat confused.
I was 13! You expect good judgment from a 13-year-old?
They always travel and never speak. They grow from little white seeds and become electrical in thunderstorms. This is the only time they feel anything bordering emotion and so they revel in them.
I've read several stories for people just because your life will inevitably get brighter with some moomin in it.
Those two? Please. The only reason they ended up 'evil' was because 'lazy moron' wasn't an alignment option.
Advantage of having bad memory is that when you write things down, you can crack yourself up!
This comment may or may not make sense at a later date.
You stink of fear, but you're not a coward. You fear me, but still you came.
When you are dead, you don't know that you are dead. It is difficulty only for the others. It is the same when you are stupid.
The best way to put someone at ease is to inform them - even if it's the grim truth.
How embarrassing it is to be human.
People don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed.
The general population doesn't know what's happening, and it doesn't even know that it doesn't know.
He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. When you gaze long into the abyss the abyss also gazes into you.
Wow, it's a nice day outside. I think I'm gonna sleep through it.
In a world without hope, snake throwing is a reasonable way to resolve disputes.
As a systems hacker, you must be prepared to do savage things, unspeakable things, to kill runaway threads with your bare hands, to write directly to network ports using telnet and an old copy of an RFC that you found in the Vatican.
Similar to the Necronomicon, a C++ source code file is a wicked, obscure document that's filled with cryptic incantations and forbidden knowledge.
I have no tools because I destroyed my tools with my tools.
My syntax errors caused the dead to walk among the living.
I'll always be furious at the number 7, but such is the hero's journey.
It's probably an extra bit of sidetrackedness shaped into pretty words with a great deal of confusion thrown in.
Segmentation fault (core dumped)
Don't watch this if you're soaked in gasoline because it will warm your heart and you will burn to death and die.
I've worked with php and html soup, class and i18n soup, and now file soup?
We don't know why people don't do this sort of thing more often. It's not like there's a bad reason to leave a giant dragon skull on the beach.
Low score! You win three sanitary pedastals.
I use it as a tool, but if you live in my house, you hear some odd things.
Funny, I always wanted to join the circus. Didn't expect it to look like this.
When next you call me a monster, remember - you have a sword, and I am a collector of words.
The cheese is known to leave an aftertaste for a duration of up to several hours.
Spring rolls should never have this much lard in them.
Also, my ass is broken. Did I mention my ass is broken? Because if I didn't... "my ass is broken."
Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.
Hey! You can't arrest me if I prove your rules inconsistent.
We do what we must because we can.
Job interviews structured to find sweaty grubs will probably find sweaty grubs.
Some corners don't have a concealed anything. Most corners don't. This makes it worse. Eventually you get so used to a big, safe nothing that when the plasma bolts fly it's a "Nearly spilled my tea!" shock.
Note: spilling tea across your desk impairs command ability. Don't do it.
Oh, what were we talking about? God dammit, I did it again.
The universe is infinite.
Man sits on shed. Full story at 11.
Wikimedia DC has a much laxer privacy policy, which is to say it does not have one in any meaningful sense.
In a world where robo-frogs exist and everyone is named Nancy...
It's like saying he's slightly more intelligent than a bivalve shellfish.
It is just one of those games that feels like a dream and plays like a, well, like a really well-written game.
Surgeon General's warning: Swallowing whole camels can cause indigestion. Do not smoke whole camels either - they will kick you when you try to light the tail.
God love is like, 'I love you, but stay the fuck away from me!'
And now it stands, rubble of memory, testement only to the fleeting nature of dreams. Forgotten.
Go on, then. You will find the keys to the cupboard behind he who reigns king of the sandcastle. Riddle? Sort of. But you'll see what I mean. Pass the gates, find the mongoose, and you shall see.
They've taken fat, they've double-coated it in fat, they've fried it in more fat, and then they've served it with a side order of fat.
This is a bar of soap. It might not look like much, but it is, in fact, a very, VERY powerful weapon. It carries healing magic more powerful than anything the gods could grant me! It kills enemies so deadly and subtle that us mere mortals cannot even perceive them, although they are always all around us, trying to do us harm. But if you rub yourself over with the magnificent soap, it will grant you an aura that even the terrible Germs will be forced to flee! So, mighty Lhoryn... take this soap. And vanquish your enemies.
The power of Soap is too great for us to be exposed to it in full for too long.
She were wild. Next life she'll be a head-choppin' assassin. Or a bear hunter. Or a serial murderer. Or a banker!
Why don't you lie still before I make you stop moving?
Removing emotion from deciding morals is dangerous. Our consciences speak to us through our emotions. To ignore them is to invite apathy. Logic is important, but we're not Vulcans.
Theory is when you know everything and nothing works. Practice is when things work, and noone knows why. Here we combine theory and practice. Nothing works and noone knows why.
I have neither the time, nor the inclination, to try to convince someone I'm a human being.
All these etiquettes are just damaging your natural intelligence...
It began with the printed word, and from there it simply exploded to became the world as we know it, the world of light.
Ferrian's Winter was interesting, but Megan's war was more so. Attention was given where attention was needed. The rest simply followed from there.
The one time I tried to play D&D I got kicked out for making bear soup.
They're using words that mean something, but in the wrong way. They're relying on a passing knowledge of a subject to pull the wool over the eyes of the ignorant.
Sometimes anvils fall from the sky. We don't question it.
Their logic baffles me.
He comes on at absolutely any time at all and goes away when we throw enough fanged tomatoes at him. That is my new conclusion.
Bribery works better when you try to bribe me with something I don't already have, you know.
I could give you the sky. Though I don't think you'd have any reason to want it. It's heavy and rather dusty in places.
Fine number, seven. Prime number. Full of fate. Maybe is a more ambiguous number. I wouldn't trust it.
I am fuelled by hate and rage. My spite will carry me to victory. Also I cheat.
I'm not sure "sack of junk" is an officially recognized Monk weapon.
It's like a wizard being a cook.
He wants to bury all kinds of things. So he kills strange and exotic things in strange and exotic places, so that he can bury them.
Tom Morris's blog is one part gay rights advocacy, one part conservatives bashing, one part FOSS activism and one part bitching about people getting in his way at train stations.
I have anguish babies. Stuck to my back like leeches. Growing plump on fear.
The reality of your be-sticked invertebrate is entirely dependent on my whims. And they are whimmy whims.
It's full of toasters. The cat is full of toasters. Does that seem safe?
Being good doesn't get you anything.
The cat is full of toasters.
Madness, you know, is just like gravity. All it takes is a little push.
Even my own community thinks I'm a villain. Some cult leader I turned out to be.
We went off in search of a pan galactic gargle blaster and things basically just went downhill from there.
It would be folly for any cats to be non-bloated with toasters. Unthinkable.
Blame who? I'm not taking blame. It slides off like ducks.
There are no servers. They are all ducks. Now give me money.
Saying that she knows words would suggest that there is anything in her head other than words.
Fear is for the weak. The strong know terror.
Faith is fickle, why should purpose be any different?
You have to do business with the government so that government must be a neutral party.
Sheep dream of cloudy sandals. To rise and leave the clouds to the slaughter.
Fill your head with light. And burn.
You lost more than just the thing itself, you lost your dreams for the future. One doesn't just dust oneself off after that sort of thing.
JÃƒÂ¤vla svenskorna.
Just what your teeth need: a tongue that fights back when they bite it.
Forward, and on.
You should move to Siberia. It's too cold to smoke.
His friendship with a cockroach is what allowed him to keep finding fulfillment and the ability to maintain his personality.
They are the masks behind which we see our own faces.
I'm starting to view them as blind old men bickering over nonsense and having little people running around their feet and occasionally telling them stories about the world in exchange for not being stepped on.
Always blame the designer, is what I say.
Most people seem capable of understanding context.
If this were a dream, if I could wake... but I'm awake and sleeping cannot happen again. I can only sit here and say.
Don't blame me; you lost your own way.
It's okay. You tried your best. Your 'best' just happened to be slightly worse than everyone else's 'average'.
The Merr stole the show. That chair. That thing with the chair was my favourite thing.
I stole everything. Then I died.
I have dreams I need to chase.
He figures that the thing that's wrong is that he hasn't put his face on. So he's wearing rotting faces on his head. Like a... putrid mask.
There are dwarf cats, but dwarves as a race are not a thing.
He has the entire rage of the halfling race. They're all so gorram jolly.
There is a kind of laughter that sickens the soul. Laughter out of control: when it screams and stamps its feet, and sets the bells jangling in the next town. Laughter in all its ignorance and its cruelty. Laughter with the seed of Satan in it. It tramples upon shrines, the belly-roarer. It roars, it yells, it is delirious: and yet it is as cold as ice. It has no humour. It is naked noise and naked malice.
Life is the farce we are all forced to endure.
Name your deer.
Great, another donkey brawl.
The unicorn is so ripped he has abs on his neck.
I'm not okay. People keep asking me how I am, standard greeting and all, but rather than lie I just tell them they don't want to know, or stop asking that. I haven't been okay for months, perhaps years.
Gods build bricks out of prayers.
The thoughts of cats. The place in the world where the cats should be. Saucers of milk vanishing. Curtains ripping. Meowing. But no cats.
Merchandise.
There are many kinds of power, some more subtle than others.
No-one can see the fine mesh of deceit and trickery I have woven, until they break it and the sky splits.
Well, I'm not going to break into my own house. That way madness lies. The bad kind.
The world is a stage. Nothing is what it seems except for nothing itself.
My heart is bee-infested raisin.
Eapherod is a sideshow.
Let's be honest. Your bottom is not one that I find attractive. Because it is always dancing!
I only deny a very few lies. I could be denying so. much. more.
I may or may not be a person, but rest assured that I am real enough for your purposes.
Did you both misunderstand what I just wrote in two different ways?
I will fill your shoes with rice.
BEAR SOUP GUY. BE OUR BEACON OF HOPE IN THIS STRANGE AND SAVAGE LAND.
Maybe you can just pray without a specific god in mind? But that might mean your prayers are lost and just go nowhere. Or maybe all prayers are lost and go nowhere. That would explain a lot of things.
Don't drown your sorrows in alcohol. Those bastards can swim, y'know.
I don't believe her, not for an instant. She's lying and cheatful and full of... full of bees!
It isn't a game if you can't win, right? And you can't win. You just have several choices of how to lose.
Some of you are not so willing. You are the grim, goal-oriented ones who will not believe that the joy is in the journey rather than the destination no matter how many times it has been proven to you.
Endings are heartless. Ending is just another word for goodbye.
Perhaps this time will be different.
Welcome home.
Gray-black column, black-gold tower. Obelisk. Obelisk. What are the obelisks?
Bits that I cannot place, pieces that do not fit.
So we name a king: a madman charged with the protection of all that is, of all that we have and are. We may venerate this king, we may curse him, we may ignore him outright, but there is always a name.
It's a magic trick. It's complete fabricated bullshit. It's a lie.
The dog's name was Princess.
Avengers are zealot inquisitors. They just find someone their god doesn't like, chase them down and harvest their organs.
Rhu has all the charisma of an angry walrus.
I'm still young and idealistic. I've never tried to bury a tank. Or building. YET.
It's a war and as a woman, you have to win.
I can see tomorrow. The stars are weeping tears of licorice.
Agh! It was in my head! It was in my head! It was in my bloody head and then it fell out!
That's what we always told each other. Don't become me. Don't fail as I have.
Not everyone can be a hero like in the stories.
Katia Managan has been a screwup for two days, not two decades. Katia Managan still has a chance.
Life isn't a game. It's not like the stories.
Judgement is heavier than death.
You look like the kind of person who uses skulls for interior decorating.
Thank you for missing the point. Not that I know what the point was.
Liera has blessed you with sleep, the illusion of death.
Please remember to chew your food.
The God of Death where I am from, he never needed anyone, anyone but her, that stupid idiot of a bloody word whore!
In a true emergency you frankly don't care how much blood splatter there is. As long as it's enough to make the emergency go away.
The smallest bar. Only four stools. Other than that, standing room only.
Schrodinger's Stars. Until you look, they're dead cats.
I have a thing for gods. They're almost like masks! Just with more ego!
This is not living.
People should not be forced into doing things against their will, at least unless you kill them first. Anything else would be morally wrong.
Due to the nature of her crimes, Subject L is not subject to the Deathgod's Absolution.
Yay PHP!!!
Every moment of life seems like going through a portal to me.
Might it cause bits of the floor to break? If some break and some are invisible, things could get... complicated.
This is hole science.
You failed a sanity check. As a flock of pigeons.
You say tomato, I say nebula.
You can use the numbers to back up anything if you're delusional enough.
Java is to JavaScript as fun is to funeral.
Okay man, seriously, this is getting old. I've killed you like 18 times already. Why won't you stay dead?
I'm now the dubiously proud owner of 4L of apple smirnoff.
I siphon lots of brain juice.
You can keep a story in your head for years, but until you write it down, it isn't real. It's just a vague dream you cannot share.
Play the character, not the game.
Your belief system is thermodynamically unsound.
I wish you didn't agree with me. It makes me think I might be wrong.
Cheese is hot when worn.
Some men cheat on their wives in their absense... I eat clams in a can.
And you think that you do not wear your words?
There's more than one Librarian, and more than one Dreamer. And the masks? Why, we all wear them.
I do not wear my words. They just trail behind me.
An ear-mangling chain of vowels. Mother vowel and her tiny vowelets trailing behind her.
Stories. All I have are stories. What do you have? Besides stories?
I only play this game because it's the only outlet I have for all this rage that threatens to consume my soul.
When it comes down to it, it's all stories. And dreams. Because stories are dreams and dreams are stories.
I have stories and rage and booze and words and swords and mountains and glass and dice and rocks and books and holes and metal and sky and dreams. I have a lot of things.
All things are stories. Stories is all there is.
The past is stories. Therefore now is a story. To be told in stories. Stories.
Time erodes.
All we have are dreams.
How ironic that your only act of true justice should be the one that ends you.
Why should the story end with death?
Things done in the name of research... Walking the Underworld, taking pictures. Mixing drinks, testing recipes. Wandering through the lists, wandering through the fields. Starting a game in one world, ending it in another still. Place everyone in a room and just see what they do. Let's get out of here.
I want to give you everything just to see what you would do with it.
Running. Always running. First it's life. Then the voices. Then the bottle, and throughout it all, the people. Settle down and for an instant, things look good, only to go up in flames once more. And then it's on the run again. Always running.
I'm sober out of my goddamn mind.
Fear is healthy. Like all emotions, fear is an adviser, perhaps not in full possession of facts, but loyal. Fear has saved you, once or twice. Fear is trying to tell you something; whether you follow up is up to you, but you should listen. Do not fight your fear.
When dreamers wander, they are given a name.
I believe in life before coffee, but not after vodka. The day is too short to make longer.
You will die, but not today, and not tomorrow either. You still want to be heard, and have things to say, and thus you will live. You will live to say what you need to say, and you will find those who need to listen, and you will make them listen. You are not ready to die.
Someone should preserve it in alcohol for future generations to gawk at.
I believe unicorns were in the requirements for search.
Sure, maybe your colleages think you are being irrational, and maybe they don't believe your incredibly reasonable assertions, but that doesn't mean you should start strapping weapons to a bunch of dogs so they can watch your back while you sleep.
I don't believe that explicitly stating that Santa Claus is a fictitious character does not violate NPOV as per the citations provided.
Remember, if you put a bottle of liquor in a brown paper bag, it becomes invisible.
Moral codes are ideas that we construct, and there is no god of determinism that will one day smite Reddit for their crime of being bad at math.
Doom diddly doom!
If you could just abandon the thought that this place exists in only one fixed state at a given point in time, this would make much more sense to you.
Allow me to pose you a riddle: what do you get when there is both a hole and not a hole occupying the same space?
It is now raining undead chickens.
Behold the digger of your grave. Your hole awaits.
It's satire. Just not good satire... but dead baby jokes don't stop being jokes just because they're about dead babies.
All these people bother me. Let's go on a killing spree. Let's go paint the town red. Let's go paint the town red.
That show is a giant puddle of 'what?'
You know, I was lost in the desert, and I've gotta say it was totally amazing.
You will die.
To be confronted with your worst nightmare, that was the darkness that visited us that night, a dream that turns on the dreamer, sleep that becomes death.
Sometimes death leaves a stain on a place, like a stain left behind by something that stains.
I could go all post-modern on you and talk about how much we idolise death, and how it has become more a part of our lives now than it had ever been, and how it's nothing more than a tired old joke anymore, a hopscotch into the void... but that would be tasteless.
It's life. It's nothing. It's pretty words on a page. It's a love story that ends only in loss, but that is how we know the love was real, that it still is, that the story is never over because the love is still there. It's everything. It's all we've got.
That's what I want! I want you to be happy and I want a monster!
I could maybe distract you with a pile of pretty masks, draw you out into layer upon layer of stories, spin you into an illusion of happiness, but it would only help if you're willing.
My mind couldn't wrap around the fact that people are seriously just... cruel.
It's well known that social media sites segregate by interest. I find it disconcerting.
Happy wishes.
Decentralized discussion is practically hallowed tradition at this point, so I don't see the harm in it.
Dude, you're talking to a metal wall. And I'm the crazy one for pouring paint on my head.
I just want to know how the thing with the paint and the lava lamp sky was any more crazy than talking to a wall.
I will slam this window with all the force of a single emaciated old man.
Probability would dictate that half the party is going to be useless at any given moment.
Chronology can wait.
I have no control over what I produce because of the system that protects absentee ownership and extraction of surplus value by a propertied class.
Names change and shift. Nothing is as was.
Sometimes I just like to divide irony by zero.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offence.
Watch this and explore in intimate detail what it would be like if your confidence in all humanity were to eat a super mario mushroom.
He was digging up moths and they were flying up and landing on his forearms and he was licking them off his forearms. And then he wandered on and kind of took a nap for most of the day.
Yeah, cheap wine's the ticket to paradise.
His will is his own. His reality follows suit.
He is a hale and hearty soul with a heart so big, it widens his waist.
I can hear the bones talking. His bones are calling to me.
Do you ever wonder why things look better without their skins on?
I don't believe in magic. But I do believe in bones.
The best way to kill something is with the bones of its own.
Do you hear that sound? It's like a horse dying...
Don't mind me... I'm a little tired. Can't sleep at home, you know. The walls. They aren't safe.
I'm so happy I could just tear out your intestines and strangle you with them!
Get going, before I change my mind. Or my mind changes me.
I play all my video games on normal setting and usually lose.
This is more like a cardboard sword with shaving razors embedded into the sides.
Sometimes what we are doesn't mesh terribly well with what we wish we were.
That's how people deal with horror. They tell jokes about it, laugh about it. Laugh at it and make it a little less scary. The alternative is insanity.
Some people can't handle the truth. So instead they hate the person who is telling it.
The best way to discredit a lunatic is to let them talk.
Never something petty. Never something small. Always something so important that the object itself defines the man.
I will instead ignore the wisdom within the rules.
Attacked by fanged hams in the sea of pea soup.
Order. And not in a good way. Bleak. Colourless. Dead. Boring, boring, boring.
Everyone is a traitor. Everyone is a betrayer. Everyone.
Don't worry. You'll find something Odd if you keep at it.
Look at you, you're light as a chair. How do you walk around like that?
It's simple, really. If you don't think about it.
Something has to work. Once, I dug a pit and filled it with clouds.
At this moment, which hurts more? Your inside or your outsides?
Songs of Madgods. Songs of bad gods! Softly, Master. Softly.
Options are listed in order of easiest to type out.
This is my usual business hour.
You can't escape the sky in the bathroom. It's watching you there too.
I would propose linking our consciousnesses together, except that would likely drive all of us insane for completely unrelated reasons to our present dilemma.
I suggest investigating the sky. Last time someone said we should just charge towards it.
Words no one has ever said before... without smelling heavily of wine in an alley.
Smoke that shit, man. Ingest the words. Inhale truth.
There are two suns. One of them appears to be setting and the other is rotating around a point.
I'll take this time to get my shield and shovel back from the car.
Guy died in a mysterious blender accident. It was quite tragic and took two weeks to clean up.
These slugs climbing my spine itch something fierce. Care to dance?
I remembered he used the word 'god-beast'.
rm is the Routine Maintenance tool for Unix computers.
If it weren't blasphemous, I might venture to say that the world has been slowly going sane.
It is a derogatory expression, but it is amusing and so we have adopted it.
Words are difficult. They come and go. The voices, though, so loud they are, they drown out the words.
The descent into madness is silent. And when it ends, there are no answers - only hanging questions.
The floor is lighter than a feather.
It's all hopeless. And it's everyone's fault.
I see the city in the hand, and the hand in the stars. The tower guards the gate, but the gate holds the key. The king is the key, and the hand guards the king.
Justice is pitiless.
I'd like my mind back, if you please. Or not. It's really up to you, Lord Sheogorath.
Sleep the sleep of the bleuugh.
Call it a tactical reemployment of questionable skills.
Given enough eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
I used to be a dog. I got better. Not a better dog, though. I'm a terrible dog now.
Praying to yourself, my Lord? That's not a good sign. Or perhaps it is. Prince of Madness, and all that.
Drunk with madness. Madness for all!
I will eat your eyeballs in a sea of moths!
It is the blessing of a curse.
The bitter wisdom that one has been a fool is not without value.
He took my ogres. Lying maggot! They're MY ogres!
I've heard that Dagail knows a lot about mysticism. And sheep.
He told me to wait until the storm was at its height before shaving the cat. I've forgotten the rest of the ceremony. It doesn't matter.
I must be smart, for the interconnective system is very clear to me. Then why, or wherefore, do people keep calling me mad?
Cast off your clothing and your inhibitions!
Ditch your science and become a drunk. It's the only way.
We have too much science and not enough drinks.
With this book, you can do anything, go anywhere, be anyone. You can spend all the time in the world and have none pass at all. You need never leave, nor change nor move on. It sounds like a paradise... or possibly a hell.
You pressed 'you' meaning 'me'. The correct answer would have been 'you'.
Complete and utter silence, complete faith and compliance. No critical thought required, or tolerated.
No logical person hates people who are nice.
Yes, my daughter lives in a cave, and no, I'm not very happy about it.
Your language has the correct words, but they cannot be properly misinterpreted.
He's got more brains than a brain pie.
Gal bursten it.
Fribble. Just fribble.
A diamond looks pretty. A video game suit of armor looks pretty and protects you from video game orcs.
You don't own what I can or cannot say with my face.
If you want to write, don't study writing. Study what you want to write about. Study philosophy, history, psychology, engineering. Study architecture and mythology. Study dynamics and statistics. You will have what you need to write, and more.
Numbers just keep going.
Nothing is going to make me part with my shovels. And the spades. And the trowel.
With these computer parts and some fertilizer, I shall create five bombs.
I think the porridge can take care of itself.
I think we should take the bottle though. It might be useful to be able to animate porridge in the future.
If I had a nickel for every time I needed some animated porridge...
Give animated porridge their space, I always say.
Hey, anyone want a bomb? I got like, five of 'em. Bombs for everyone. They're a real blast.
Pour it into your USB and hit "send".
Compulsory unification of opinion achieves only the unanimity of the graveyard.
The law does not prohibit the use of due process.
The cloud is called the cloud because you don't know what's in it.
Some canvasses are covered in portraits of sorrow and suffering, and some are covered with icons of compassion and beauty... but each, beneath, is still a blank canvas offering hope and the opportunity to engage in a spark of the divine.
Pastafarian wins election to town board and takes oath with a colander on his head.
This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.
These are simple mechanisms of the universe and they do not respond to our wishes.
Xlib has a gaping hole convenient for inserting hearts.
Is there something about logging into this site that makes you have to stop being a human directly after you write your password?
There is a super massive cloud of drinkable alcohol floating around in space and from what we can tell so far it's raspberry flavored. Okay.
Vagueness in legal threats is the hallmark of meritless thuggery.
In Greek, 'nostalgia' literally means 'the pain from an old wound'. It's a twinge in your heart, far more powerful than memory alone. This device isn't a spaceship, it's a time machine. It goes backwards and forwards, it takes us to a place where we ache to go again.
You talk like angel, walk like model, but your body look like buffalo.
Lurking variable.
The problem is not that an aggrieved psycho can inflict damage. That's always been the case, and always will. The problem is that if one does so, we in particular have no redress, no right to defend ourselves.
Every truth you could possibly tell him, he has already heard as a lie.
Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it.
I ate people before it was cool.
Idiocy is not a zero-sum game.
Do the wagons from the staff disappear after a while or do they just build up?
I think all the cheese storms are bulking up my save, but so worth it.
When Microsoft saw how much RAM Skype could take up doing absolutely nothing, they knew they had to own it.
You have no mystery in your soul. It's full of... magic instead.
The call of the hole is overpowering. You're not close enough to see in properly, and you must see in properly, you must.
Something about how it's not really death, I just got an express ticket to the dead end.
If it looks overdone, it can be blamed on an over-enthusiastic Telvanni mage.
He probably does have Bong Proficiency. Yeah. Bong Expertise even, I dare say. But maybe not Bong Focus.
It's only poaching if somebody already owns them. And it's only 'getting caught for poaching' if you can't shoot your way out.
It probably looks... icky. Grey. Dry. DEAD. It's the corpse of food.
Someone has to keep watch over these madmen. Because they're men. And maaaad.
Ore is the blood of fallen wombats.
Men die younger because of science.
You have been blessed by the Holy Hazz'ridan... with sanity.
I've all I've ever needed: teeth, claws, and a bottle of ale.
I've basically just been playing musical power supplies for months.
The war of the triangle man ended once particle man and person man were defeated, leaving the universe to pick up the pieces.
The moose won't stop screaming.
What a rude and ill-informed comment.
Just pick a bed and fall in it when you're tired.
I met an interesting character yesterday you might be able to use. He was a tall black man with a red towel cylinder around his head with dreads standing tall out of it.
Take your rightful place as my champion, or I will crush you.
I'm not insane. Who said I'm insane? Did I say was insane? I'll show you insane!
He'll be back. You can't keep a good paladin down. Or trapped in alternate cheesy reality, as the case might be.
Read it in a lecherous trenchcoat voice.
You can't have anything that's dangerous. Water's going to be banned in not too long.
I'm talking about the whole floor dirty. I'm talking about me drenched in blood.
It's an easy question to answer if you want to give the wrong answer.
The reason it's not doing anything is because you don't have it turned on.
Mind the Friendly Space Policy.
Best experienced with Microsoft Internet Explorer.
Breaking news: not all Wikipedians are visibly insane.
Printing out the code and retyping it by hand is superior to submodules.
New language variant 'en-x-piglatin' for easier variant testing.
Apparently this was fixed by somebody (don't know who) by doing something with ImageMagick (don't know what).
Embolden the monolith.
Back in the day, Communists would impale dogs on spikes as they conquered countries in Central and South America.
Free as in free beer.
Free as in freedom.
Free as in tinfoil hat.
This illustration depicts the protagonist, having been newly transformed into a water baby, learning from a salmon and his wife of the existence of other water babies.
The first English joke recorded was a dick joke. The oldest joke we know of is a Sumerian fart joke.
China starts televising sunrise due to smog.
Sports!! Do the thing, win the points!
He's dishonest, and you can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch for, because you can never predict if they're going to do something incredibly stupid.
The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math.
Home is where you fully understand how the shower works.
They can't separate themselves from their arguments so disagreeing with them is just the same as calling them names in their eyes.
Treat your dog to a healthy vegan diet by feeding it fresh vegans.
I send my enemies birthday cards filled with glitter.
They're like well-meaning snake oil salesmen who periodically get results.
"I dissolve" has real meaning here.
Death does not diminish.
It's no surprise that a growing number of people have begin fetishizing salads.
There's no escape.
Just step into the painting, he said. Sure... like it's that simple.
Product of Screaming Moose Productions.
Yes, of course, the future is unknowable, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't address the issues we do know about first.
It's like 'how do you prefer to be killed - shot, hanged or drowned?' when the answer is 'but I don't want to be killed!'
I reckon he'll go right past acerbic en route to ironic and end up slap bang in sardonic without even taking a breath.
Dangerous knowledge is still knowledge and therefore useful. Usually turns out to be the most useful, in my experience.
It's only a whisper of a rumor of a conjecture.
Relative positions are absolute in their primacy.
It wasn't a battle at all. It was a cat playing with her food.
I for one welcome our category overlords for sorting out every single thing.
To understand that question you have to understand a little bit about who Rahul Gandhi is and what Rahul Gandhi's circumstances have been and if you delve into that you will get an answer to the question of what Rahul Gandhi is scared of and what he is not scared of.
I'd join a religion of secular lunacy.
I dig holes in dirt, not in words.
She is very deep. But sometimes she is very shallow. There's a truth in there somewhere, though, I can feel it.
I'm keeping 'teenage gender unicorns' forever.
This is so accurate that I want to punch everyone in the face.
Why? Excellent question. You should always ask that question, even if you think you already know the answer. You will find that a great many things are far deeper than they appear.
PRIMORDIAL CLAM CHOWDER
I'm probably offended by what you're doing. Stop it.
Men are a threat. All men are a threat.
Facts are only facts if they agree with me, of course. It is my holy right to always be correct even in the face of evidence that I am not.
I'm offended by everything here.
It's inadequate, half broken, and the sort of quality you've come to expect.
$1 missing
Our headquarters are in a house, yes a house, in downtown Palo Alto, California.
And nothing of value was lost.
Actually no, that means you can view the entire diff. So it's good, in a way. The way amputation is better than gangrene, I guess.
It resonates, but it doesn't seem to govern; if people are arguing that old mistakes are wrong, they're clearly not 'enshrined'.
Chickens, therefore I'm right.
I can't talk now. I'm painting the sky with stars.
Same flavour, different giraffe.
I believe they were talking about the cloning/death star discussion. Not everything is about you, mate.
Licenses are like the president of Ukraine - in other words, totally wrong.
It's disturbingly coherent.
Even though it's written in C, it crashes like a mature C++ application.
Saving image failed: Error while saving image. Could not save image.
Knowledge is good for you. An unknown path is just a road. You can't discover the dead end until you know the whole road.
Tastes like burning.
Cats. Everywhere.
People are better than C++, and that's not saying much.
Zaori is made of people like you.
I'm being kidnapped?! Let me know when, so I can put it on my calendar.
Are you going to give me a dose of liberdom or freeity?
We want this person to be resilient and good-humoured. So we're going to punch all our possible candidates in the face a few times and see where they want to go from there.
Everything discussed here is so normal my teeth hurt.
Globals are magical structures, like little winged monkeys that fly your data from wherever it is generated to wherever it is needed.
I can't believe it's not SQL!
It doesn't matter how fast your language is, it's always possible to write slow code in it.
We're all bozos on this bus.
Of course there's free will. That doesn't mean it's not predictable.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I am writing cookie-handling code. This is 2014. I shouldn't have to do it.
You can pretend to live in London, and I can live in Paris! I'll type with an accent!
There are few things mankind hasn't managed to successfully eat.
Everything's cooler with bones sticking out.
Internal content of page what does this do
Why are't you glowing right? You're not glowing right.
Just keep thinking important stuff and maybe you can find out what we're doing here, and possibly the fundamental relation of all cosmic bodies, if the effect lasts long enough.
The ends await. Mm. Good. Good. I need ends. Dead ends for me please.
Is he some kind of oracle at this point or just a madman?
The opposite of a computer is a kumquat.
[citation needed]
There is only one color of whale: PATRIARCHY.
Cryptographically secure hashes are Hard to get right, and harder to evaluate with any amount of certainty. History is littered with the dessicated failed corpses of roll-your-own crypto.
That said, I kinda want an inflatable dart board.
Never underestimate what you can do with excessive amounts of the colour blue.
On a scale of one to invade russia in the winter, how bad is your idea?
Warning: Lizards may cause your cat to malfunction in new and unexpected ways.
Man, cats are weird...
We are experts at wasting life.
Fail fast, die() young. We are experts at wasting life. with loneliness(): self.crush();
I'm in agreedmentsion with Modus.
Take two ducks, twice a day, and drink plenty of fluids.
Links are imperative, not from any technical standpoint, but because they prevent readers from getting trapped on pages and subsequently dying of starvation. If left on the article, the dead readers will eventually start to smell...
The scavengers were old. They were very old people, maybe older than dust. But dust disguises itself as human.
I shall hunt you by placing a cardboard cutout outside your door and sitting on your roof until you die.
You must construct additional pylons!
Get the duck out of my house!
Within a few minutes, you can do weird things with fish, if you want to.
I dream of sleep.
A philoshophical statement regarding slippers.
With every meal, you get some clothes to eat. A pair of pants, a shirt, maybe a bowtie with ketchup and a side of gloves. We got the ice cream with curtains.
I knew I shouldn't have eaten that slimy stuff I found in the road yesterday.
The wheels on the insanity bus go round and round...
Grammar wasn't invented until 1934.
She has an unfortunate tendency to to scream "racism!" whenever something doesn't go her way.
The image does not need to be 'maintained'; it has been stable for the past seven years.
Fonk! The man of the ape and the trees is having coitus with a proxy server! Don't!
And lo, there was frogs.
Nothing matches up anymore.
Breathe. Just breathe. Ignore the ten foot noodle chasing you.
The letter X is invincible.
Hello, I'm the man with a beard that ruined everything. I blame the beard. I'm the man without the beard. The beard. Stick your finger in my ear, the beard. I'm the beer.
Making music with pots and pans full of delicious air. This is the sound of air bouncing around a hollow space.
Out of the cracks in the sky come vultures to swim in the blue dirt.
Put some clothes on that tongue of yours!
There are places where the sky is brown and striped. There are places. Alert Tinfoil. There's a war resulting in the occasional cough at the table.
Potent famine Lungs.
Inside your head there is a thing.
The irony of this situation is under speculation.
Life is depressing enough without football players wearing tutus or flatulent demigods loitering outside liquor stores on Thursday evenings.
Reasonable people wouldn't have gotten this far.
Well, parser caches can't actually sexually assault you, but yes.
Check your privileges, I know you have some somewhere.
There is a disturbing lack of plastic foot stools in my garden.
What is this treacle?
Names is meaner than me since all my mean-ness is negated by my accent.
The warm, loving embrace of TENTACLES EVERYWHERE...
Gan's voice has the vitality of dust.
Bad pronounciation forces the crowd to listen.
And then you giggle, and then all notions of productivity promptly wander out into the back yard and hang themselves.
My feeble notions of productivity have already gone and committed suicide. Twice.
Wikipedians are the weirdest breed of internetians I know.
You're allowed to be inconsistent. It's the one advantage to craziness.
I am Ellemerr, Crazy Viking Lady, Pirate Librarian, Caretaker of Crazy Kittens, Dreamer of Masks, AND THROWER OF YAKS!
This is the best air-car deer-hunting sequence ever.
The world is square. You're traversing rhombuses. The hypotenuse of a triangle with two sides of 5 is also 5.
Cats tolerated.
Emotions are dumb and should be hated.
Feel the desire to physically attack people you disagree with frequently, do you?
Crazy circumstances create crazy people.
I don't expect everyone to agree with me. Most times I'm not even certain I agree with me.
This article contains APL source code. Without proper rendering support, you may see question marks, boxes, or other symbols instead of APL symbols.
Neck misses it, but raccoon shelter is taking good care of things.
Look at me! I'm cheerful because I put a cheerful sticker on my forehead.
I do not care for cats, and I care even less for men who care for cats. I find them very worrying.
I live a strange life. Not for general consumption.
Freedom is terrifying.
These are some pretty words.
Pudding is tasty. php probably tastes runny and slightly icky.
Hazz'ridanism is all about appreciating these points for the endings that they are. A chance to recalibrate, to question, to wonder. To die, if it's your dead being ended.
Based on future events.
You know how it is. You've got to hallucinate sometimes, or you're going to lose your mind.
In the beginning was the end.
We use every part of the animal. The body. The breath. The afternoon shadow. The fear before it died. The memory of it now that it's gone.
Be nice, be nice, until it's time to stop being nice, then destroy them.
I keep cursing in ice cream flavors and my mom has told me to stop.
He might actually be sane, but nobody's ever finished reading one of his reports, so nobody knows.
'Siberia', historically, has been less a geographical designation than a state of mind, a looming threat.
Put down the duster. It'll be okay.
Where is your god now?
This is your friendly nagging voice reminding you that you might want to check those secrets at some point.
One day you will bury the moon!
Like the time between liver and spleen. The time between notes when you wonder if you are alive or dead, dreaming or waking.
Sometimes we are mean to our cows.
How do cats even work?
A proper stalactite grows downward, but these younger stalactites are rebellious and have little respect for tradition. We've caught them growing sideways, diagonally, I saw one just yesterday that grew down at first but then went straight back up again into the rock ceiling.
Everything is bad.
Am I the only person here who reads tea and drinks books?
It's beautiful, in a totally trying to kill you kind of way.
A religion which doesn't allow questioning is a religion which isn't confident about its structure.
I feel like I could take on the world.
The damage has not yet been done.
'Artist' is just a nice way of saying 'really creative asshole'.
Socks mean the world to you. They keep you warm, make you feel like you have something new, and just comfort you.
The easiest way to survive a horror movie is to switch genres.
Rationale does not have a rationale in it.
This is by design.
This is just the tip of the iceberg.
Taste the rainbow.
Here we observe the feline displaying a rare, tender moment of appreciation for its slave.
Perhaps a flat lid, stone, street sign, or piece of metal, and a fire of some kind. You don't need an oven for bread made of flour and water.
Having seaweed rub against you when you're swimming in the ocean is like having Satan slowly caress your legs and toes while smiling creepily at you and whispering 'Mayonnaise'.
He feels most vulnerable when he is asleep, when, for six or eight hours a night, no cameras are watching, no witnesses are marking his presence, and no one but Louis Gonzalez III can say with certainty where he is.
Knowledge is power, France is bacon.
Just because it is canon doesn't mean it makes sense.
Please don't ask me why I know this.
I have had many different names and homes but always the same spirit.
Butts is always the answer.
When you tear out a man's tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you're only telling the world that you fear what he might say.
Fear is currency.
No, daughter, please! I warned you about this!
Second day in the wild. I slept in a tree tonight.
No race has a predisposition towards screaming at goats.
Damn swift cow trees.
I did ask for help, but he didn't give me any. I mean, he tried, but I discarded all his suggestions.
It's a tentacled mass of ever-changing proto-flesh and temporary mouths screaming the song of Ragnarok, except for the ninth mouth, which is forever stitched up with the stolen sinews of Zeus.
I think we're trying to use a slide rule to measure internet speeds.
All of the problems I've ever had with species identification have come from raccoon skulls.
I requested minions of darkness, and you gave my fluffy jellybeans.
The methods were described in the third-person passive voice to create the illusion that everything went according to plan.
I'm afraid I've caught poetry.
How come it's cool for snakes to spit venom and unhinge their jaw to swallow people whole, but when I do it, I'm the 'antichrist' and I need an 'exorcism'?
You write so beautifully. The inside of your mind must be a terrible place.
Idiots are always so dead sure about every damn thing they do in their lives.
Believe in yourself. You are an ancient, absent god, discussed only rarely by literary scholars. So if you don't believe, no-one will.
It looks like a cruel fairy took a child's drawing of a horse and gave it life.
There is no moral alternative.
Don't resist. Push it to its limits. Let it explode.
Hazz'ridan...
Herbet is dead. Hebert is unconscious.
I'm concerned about the blueberries.
Sometimes a chipmunk.
I will never not love how beautifully this spirals into madness.
Oh, right, I'm wearing bunny ears...
Our societal obsession with these fluffy little murder machines...
Binders full of women.
You're so effective at what you do people are making up laws of physics to pretend you don't exist. Keep doing good, man.
Why do people think I am weird? Sometimes I identify as cold spaghetti.
I am here to shove truth in people faces and enjoy the frustration it causes. I do not hide this. And I do not care what people think of it.
Hungry.
This episode of 24 is more important than you.
I'm not sure I've ever met a corporate lawyer who didn't think their job was bullshit.
I do have neither the time, the bandwidth, nor the inclination to do your paid jobs for you, thank you very much.
The madness is angry.
The darkness is hungry.
That's not death. Death is cold and silent and empty. It doesn't hunger and devour, it embraces like an old friend, welcoming you into oblivion.
Tell me, where did it all go wrong for you?
Those are just words. Before the word came into existence people still believed in a god or gods. You do not need polytheism or anything else to believe in a god or gods other than that belief.
Meh, definitions. Show me actions.
And from the Madness came the words.
I am super dense. I can use my skull to break doors.
A half of ghost. But where is other half?
This is probably what happens when you snorkel through the Bermuda Triangle and come out the other side.
I pressed randomize. Don't press randomize.
Instead of clapping, his daughter protested yetis.
Honey, I think there's a horse under the bed.
What fresh hell?
They told him he could be anything if he went to college, so he became a dark lord.
Now should I be scared or happy that I got a love letter from the grim reaper?
So I came home to find two werewolves, dressed as hotdogs, tearing up my furniture.
To achieve the goal of ultimate cleanliness, one must become part of the counter.
There's a zombie in my refrigerator.
My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
I was an atheist until I realized I was God.
I am sorry, I will mourn none until it's someone I know personally, because to mourn each and every death in the world is to stop living. If that makes me an asshole, I'm an asshole.
You cannot separate us from our stories, because we are stuck to our stories like really sticky babies.
I would rather not waste my time. It takes away from how I like to waste my time with other things.
People are so enamoured by equality that they'd rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom.
There's a time when a man needs to fight, and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny is lost, that the ship has sailed, and that only a fool will continue. The truth is, I've always been a fool.
It's not like it matters terribly much, it's one of those 'let's fix it if we can be arsed to' things.
The complexity is higher than that of a 14-dimensional dodecahedron.
You are not a lunatic unless you act like one.
Nothing is worth more than a mask.
We realise the importance of light when we see darkness. We realise the importance of our voice when we are silenced. In the same way, when we were in Swat, the north of Pakistan, we realised the importance of pens and books when we saw the guns.
Don't smell that! I mean me. Don't smell me! I smell awful, but then, that's how I make my living.
Shake it like a Polaroid picture.
Thank you so much for your correct opinion.
I don't know time. I am senile. Or so I tell me.
If we see another sail on the horizon, in any direction, we must give chase. We must bring a fight. You know why? So we can take some of their bloody cats. Before it's too late.
You'd better pray in your cabin tonight for one thing: cats falling from the bloody sky.
If you make something so small that it is hard to read, do you even need it to begin with?
Why do you want people to judge you on the definition but not on the actions?
Or, in other words, fish.
The answer isn't. If it were, I'd if the be.
It could be innocuous, a thing that happens. It could be a threat. We're all hostages from here on out.
Who hurt you?
It is entertaining. I haven't had this much fun since I stared at a wall all day.
Right now there's someone out there in this big bad world trying to smuggle drugs up their ass. Very strange.
If code looks wrong, just replace it with what you imagine it's supposed to be.
History happens to people.
I'm worried about you. You're too sarcastic for normal friends and you're too nice to be in a street gang.
We're all background characters.
This was made by teenagers in their spare time because they were bored and it's still better quality than the movie that took millions of dollars to make.
So... you have awoken from your sleep and returned to your dream. Well met... again.
We have evolved to a state where we no longer require edit conflicts.
Deal with deviance.
You wouldn't download a car.
You deserved happiness. So I left.
Only severely distressed animals, like severely distressed people, will relieve their distress pharmacologically if they can.
Forget the terrible news you've read. Your mind's at ease in an ostrich head!
It is like a dark master, teaching me the ways of blood and stone.
Is your stomach a graveyard?
I have internet for two days. I'm making the most of this by doing absolutely nothing.
If code looks wrong, just replace it with a dildo.
You can't take your laptop corpses to the grave with you.
No, I was not using on of the most powerful artifacts in existence to play videogames. Of course not. Because that would be wrong.
Beware every space you walk through or touch in this city. Doors, gates, arches, windows, picture frames, the open mouth of a statue, the spaces between shelves. Beware any space bounded on all sides. All these are doors to other places.
Every door has a key, and with this key they show their true nature.
I wanted to portray Hitler the way he was always meant to be portrayed: as a proud woman of color.
This violates the principle of least surprise, and antagonizes users.
If you step on a frog, all of its organs will come out of its mouth.
Thank you, bathtub crocodile.
Most mad scientists in movies are actually just mad engineers.
I'm going to test the effects of deadly neurotoxin on the island of Manhattan. The control group will be Long Island, where I will not release deadly neurotoxin.
Biscuits.
Life's too short for pants.
The Gods took care of themselves. Why don't you?
If I buy a phone, I'll do whatever the fuck I want with it - even if it means hammering a nail through it and hanging it above my fireplace.
Ask your doctor why there are claw marks on the wall. Ask your doctor to stop growling. Ask your doctor to stop climbing and smelling you.
We found a little piece of heaven here. It is black, smooth, oblong. It hums a soft, but discordant note, and we are afraid to touch it.
You want to show cleavage? Cool. Don't make an excuse for it. Just say you want to draw boobies. There's nothing wrong with that.
A day without ice cream is like a day without ice cream.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Unattended children will be given espresso and a free kitten.
it's not really a fax unless it makes loud modem sounds and gets jammed on the regular.
Can we stop normalizing normality?
If you ever think you know what's going on with Dwarf Fortress I highly suggest checking yourself into a mental hospital of some sort.
Even if they do not know your name you can be remembered.
I will never understand cats.
If you can change a story then I wonder if the aftertaste changes as well.
You seen a salmon's spine? You can break faces with one of those.
That looks safe. In that reality itself isn't flickering on and off.
I'm not telling you my dreams, you demanding thing. Don't eat the dead dreams, either. You'll get a stomach-ache again.
If you know words, you should speak to the wordless.
You would be an idiot to make anything out of wood if it were supposed to withstand a vacuum. Not that I'm discounting the possibility.
You're Dawn. You might be. You're early, aren't you? You're not quite Dave, at any rate.
Coffins don't have bathtubs, silly.
It's like magic in that tomatoes are like strawberries, minus the antlers.
I gave her unspoken words.
Thanks. I try. No, I'm lying. I don't try. It's just to easy. But thanks.
Anything can imply anything you want it too.
Without the armour, you're the third half of a story that never happened.
If someone disagrees, they must be silenced. For the good of the people, for the good of the movement.
We were attacked by a feral librarian. We had to fall back.
Libraries aren't just books, you know. You can have libraries of concepts, too, or artifacts. Like seashells, or slugs in jar.
They threatened the collection. There must be a reckoning.
Nokia had a giant tree in its booth.
Today's dish is raw, bloody meat with bones still attached.
A shovel is pretty adorable for a savage weapon of death.
I'm not ignoring you. I just don't know what to say to you.
Guys I got the house! And it comes with the chickens and the appliances and the lawn mower and a random pineapple plant.
Reagent became unavailable in 2002 because nobody wanted to order more and risk being added to terrorist watchlists.
The postdoc who did all the work has since left to start a bakery.
Blood samples were spun at 1500rpm because the centrifuge made a scary noise at higher speeds.
We live in Sweden and Tumblr is the government.
It turns out the gif format has issues with decade-long loops.
Listen - the flappy planes are beeping in the stick towers.
Those are all the wrong words. But the things themselves are all right. So who cares?
I'm a white person of colour.
A plot: incidental narrative circumstances that are used to explain away the inclusion of violence against women as a plot device.
Sleep. It is like hitting fast-forward on life, to skip all that horrible living and get a little closer to the future, which still holds the hope of not being as shit as the present.
When I say, 'I love you,' it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a person.
Rivets. That's what it needs.
To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.
Dreams don't ever really die. You take them to the grave.
Bali is known for its unique, so I guess we can't count it out.
Believe your own lies all you like, but don't go pawning them off on others.
It has the expression common to all kittens, that of a tyrant in the becoming.
I was comfortable, and you dared to move. For that you must die.
Everything affects everything. We were born, a bunch of things happened, and now we're in a mess with our friends.
Simple is good. It sneaks up on you. Makes you smile.
It's all right, you know. Even you can be happy once in a while. It won't kill you. But your face might crack if you smile, so be careful.
In the beginning it wasn't.
Reticulating spline.
No one willingly chooses to be a pedophiliac. Calling them monsters - even if they never harmed a child and don't want to - and suggesting they should all just get shot dead won't change anything.
The world is against me. It wouldn't be fair otherwise.
I don't know about you, but I have this weird feeling that female bodies tend to have have boobs. Having boobs does not make sweaters sexualized. Maybe I'm just weird.
Your shoes are untitled.
We've got five guys and a robot sitting in the space outside of space trying to figure out how to put the universe back together. Using a deck of cards.
This definition is why I ain't writing The Dictionary of Obscure Pleasures.
This is sausage to me.
Yesterday I was sick. Today, I am reborn like the phoenix. As still sick.
As it was then, much of it is like video games before the invention of fractal dirt. I want to see dirt in the corners.
I remember it and I miss it and I know someone has it, but I don't know who.
I filled a cup with wasps and someone poured lemonade in. Not helping.
I don't understand. How hard is it to grab someone's hand and move it up and down?
Waking up is impossible and I don't understand how anyone ever does it.
How did I survive? With a piece of nothing that held back the nothing. Nothing can stop nothing, you know, and so I carried nothing in my hand to protect me.
Oh, chemical blackfire, dammit man. But you're already there, aren't you though.
You, like a fly, rise up from the wreckage of your former shell, buzz about for a time, and curl up and die at the window of truth.
Most dreams are shy. They fly away when the sleeper's lids open.
One should make songs rather than make magic. Songs have more beauty.
I can see it all without trouble. The value is in the perspective. It is as your eyes that holds the value. As the asker. The dreamer.
I've bought myself a weekend. A weekend of beauty with the tears of life.
My entire life was improvised from beginning to end. I was never given a script. I just started saying stuff and everyone liked it so much, we kept going.
I can't wait to wake up and get back to life.
Knowing a name, or being stuck with one, both's a mess of trouble.
It's not real space, just the idea of space. It only goes on forever if you try to follow it forever.
There's always something. Something simple, like waking, or dying, or being able to say 'sorry'.
There are thousands of stories about her - one even tells that she's actually six giant squirrels with a headdress, robe, and ring of levitation and illusions.
Why are you implying that I implied that you implied something you are implying you did not imply?
Any character who has a sensitivity training center named after him will be taken away.
Prove it.
A man who has not tripped unto his own trips could never understand.
She curses him as only someone who is half-demon on her father's side can curse.
I love being drunk enough that the cat jumping to a point that is literally directly next to my face doesn't phase me in the slightest.
There are known knowns.
I applaud the spinning table with the kite.
Let me tell you a thing. A thing. There, I told you.
I need feminism because people have opinions I don't like.
There's always something. Something simple, like waking, or dying, or being able to say 'sorry'. Something you simply cannot do.
Why, oh, why, was I programmed to feel pain?
The walking joke made a joke!
Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants! The pants command me. Do not ignore my veins!
Being equal to your oppressors is still oppression.
Even the most glorious revolution is just a successful mutiny.
It's easier to search a dead body that isn't moving.
I haven't fed my dogdamned god.
Careful. Tried that once. Ever so dull.
While you may not be successful most of the time, bringing reality to someone, even if just one person, is kinda worth it.
Humanity's greatest flaw is its penchant for self-delusion; the ability of humans to convince themselves of anything, regardless of reality, and its resistance to change opinions when presented with evidence due to confirmation bias.
A lot of people came to me because I actually wore clothes and didn't make them feel dirty.
No time, I will eat when I'm dead. I'm gong in!
I'll be in my lab bathing in paste. Don't disturb me.
The lesson here is that dreams inevitably lead to hideous implosions.
While you were out, I painted your living room pink. You're welcome.
Bad developers, who constitute the majority of all developers worldwide, can write bad code in any language you throw at them.
For all we know manbearpig very well may be the patriarchy.
Enlightenment allows you to have a grid of workspaces called virtual desktops. Switching between them is achieved by hurling the mouse cursor to the edge of the screen, at which the desktop appears to slide across to reveal the next.
You know, all you had to say was 'this date is over'. No need to jump off a cliff.
I want to live to see the future because the future is hilarious.
Among some, your name is now synonymous with meat. And that's a high honour indeed.
Truth is racist.
I'm sane, you know.
Look, we'd love to grant your request, but we think you're insane.
Why is there bacon in the soap?
Curse you. May Kiria have your eyes. May Oberoth cover you in moss. May Araktil not leave you in peace until next time.
My father used to call me a block off the old chip.
No human with sense would send a takedown for 'EAT SHIT FUCKERS'.
Only by admitting what we are can we get what we want.
Don't crash into the geese! They'll fall... up!
I'd pay for helium eyebrows.
Cover your ears. The fabric of reality might scream a little.
These are questions for wise men with skinny arms.
Prodigies appear in the oddest of places.
The great thing about ignoring something is that there's never any hurry.
It occasionally goes insane and tries to take over the world, but you can shut it down by showing it a picture of a chicken.
It's not easy being drunk all the time. Everyone would do it if it were easy.
I think if we reply, it opens a door of communication. Through that door will come any threats of litigation. We can therefore use it as a weathervane. And also as a door.
You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Act like it.
Please do the needful.
Life. It's basically this thing that happens to people, full of nightmarish colours and horrible monsters. Like bunnies.
Giant fish don't taste much different from regular fish.
History isn't written by the victors anymore. It's re-written by the Wikipedia vandals.
Sightings of the STARVELING CAT are to be reported immediately to a Departure Representative. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should the creature be APPROACHED, FED, or LOOKED IN THE EYE. It Does Not Like It.
The public is advised not to heed voices coming from wells.
Need more fabric... or the walls will eat me.
I am the one who is spread on toast in the night.
I will dig the hole that birthed death itself.
If it's morally suspicious, trust Finland to do just that.
There's a difference between not caring and telling people you don't care.
Is our children learning?
No software is free and spreading that misconception is harmful.
And there is life on linux...
That voice in your head, it's not your conscience, it's your ego.
I hope I'm alive to see how the world ends.
Time going backwards is rarely a good thing.
All unauthorized humor will be reported to the appropriate authorities.
All golems in this fractal have cat ears and whiskers.
'A fair distance' for a sphinx is, like, on the other side of a decently-sized ocean.
MediaWiki is consistently inconsistent.
Everyone who dies while Radek is still alive gets stuffed into the Warforged body.
It is a harbinger of death! Stop making cooing noises!
It's almost like nobody thought to make up rules for people tripping on mushrooms.
Higher education does seem as if the people who came up with the curriculum were, as the name suggests, high.
Sometimes we do everything right and we still lose.
When the new iPhone comes out and the orders are put in, employees try to commit suicide by jumping off the roof. There are nets around the building to catch them.
They found his cell phone still in his hands and his head in the back seat.
It's a raptor. So we should treat it as a raptor.
Every human is valuable. Their organs can be sold on the black market for thousands, plus human skin and fat are some of the best fillers for illegal cosmetics there is.
The water feels nothing.
If they're not affected, they're not representative.
Dad, please. Stop stabbing yourself.
Beheading ants is a lot less effective than I had hoped.
There was so much work to choose from, boss, so I did none.
Don't try to forget. Don't worry about it. That is the only way to move on.
I'm gong to hell in every religion.
It was announced months ago in a locked filing cabinet in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying Beware of the Leopard.
If it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth.
I think we should consider all our frankenoptions.
This isn't living. Living's easier.
Do not fear death. It is the stake one puts up in order to play the game of life.
Your time is valuable. It's worth a bottle of fish sauce.
Division is dangerous. Never do it.
You look in the mirror and you see yourself. You are a hotdog.
You brought a meth lab to the airport?
A sylvari with thighs like an oak... possibly because she is an oak.
The equation is 54.
Were you then, you might have been.
It's always a lot easier when you don't have to design with reality as a constraint.
Pain has a taste, you know. It's sharp and almost bloody, and smooth and rough at the same time. It can be quite lovely if only you can get past the minor detail in that it also hurts.
Sometimes people pull my leg and it comes off in their hands. And then they're left holding a leg.
There are reasons for everything. Some are terrible. Some are avoided. For some, it is easier to explain the processes or the commonplace, but these are not reasons, but explanations. The reasons lie behind them.
This is a test of the Emergency Stupidity System.
Packed with rabid pro-butterites, the Court held the act was a constitutionally valid exercise of legislative power.
If there's something the human race specialises in, it's looting.
It's not considered polite to write on your driver.
Luck is a concept, an idea that is used to describe the convergence of events when the overall configuration would be too much to consider at once.
Noisy. You know what's noisy? This car. Keeps talking to me.
Is that a duck?
Think outside the graphing calculator.
I ♠ NY
Give it an A. For Annoying.
It is an obtuse angel.
Some dreams never die.
We drilled too far. Broke into Hell. Then the tide came in and it flooded. Hell flooded. And filled with sharks. Are we fired?
Listen, Rave. People change. Sometimes into flocks of seagulls.
The added complication of it taking place in two separate locations is honestly a pittance compared to how confusing the words themselves are.
Remember to always close the door behind you if you want to go back.
My god is an asshole.
It wasn't the guy, or even the guy's wife, or the guy's wife's sister. It was the guy's wife's sister's dog.
We're playing horseshoes or hand grenades. Accuracy counts as much as it needs to.
I said it in my head.
Why do I have two Bobs?
Right on.
Such cat.
You know, I never really liked paying bills. I don't think I'm going to do that either.
I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing and it was everything that I thought it could be.
You know it isn't broken because it gets far enough to bluescreen.
But at some point, no matter how far down you go, you just accept it. The world is what it is. No idea why.
For now, the transition will be difficult enough without Phabricator constantly dressed in a clown costume.
I hate arguing, but just for the record, you're wrong. But don't ask me to prove it!
Stop being a coward in the presence of idiots.
A gate to Hell opened in one of my provinces, and I closed it by pushing cows into it.
If you are going to fall over, don't do it while holding a litre of dirty water. First put the litre of dirty water down. Then fall over.
It'll have tusks. I just know it.
The unanswered question states...
The Voice's name is Bertram.
The day we stop aging is the day we stop evolving. Are we ready for that?
What you wear tells others what you are.
We're so often blind to what our own assumptions are.
Nevermind practice. This isn't practice. This is a treatise by the narrator, an examination of could-have-beens, an aside from the DM. We can talk about anything. Let's talk about anything.
The stick is sharp and pokey.
It ain't my bag, man.
They dig and make noises in the walls.
Are we chraining the sents of loss today?
Smell.
People forget MacGyver.
There are people who are on the internet until 4AM reading about underground rivers and concrete graveyards and abandoned subway stations.
There are people with the same hidden opinions and fantasies, and together their thoughts are a silent parallel world where secrets are few.
We should now refer to units of measurements of oppression as 'hitlers'.
They clean their teeth for fun.
They are smart because they are wild.
Something few people realise is just how easy it is to forge things if only you have the time.
SECURE MATERIALS: DUPLICATION FORBIDDEN
No half-measures.
A sufficiently vague target is harder to miss.
Media really dropped the ball.
They have a good point, so let's put them on a bingo board so that they sound like a bad thing because they're on a bingo board.
I'm a toothy-pillow manwhore. I've fondled so many seams. I lose count.
The only thing I get in boxes are hags. If I'm lucky, I'll get a slug.
All programming teams are constructed by and of crazy people. All code is bad. There will always be darkness.
The bridge was designed as a suspension bridge, but nobody actually knew how to build a suspension bridge, so they got halfway through it and then just added extra support columns to keep the thing standing, but they left the suspension cables because they're still sort of holding up parts of the bridge. Nobody knows which parts, but everybody's pretty sure they're important parts.
There's a theory that you can cure this by following standards, except there are more 'standards' than there are things computers can actually do.
Standards are unicorns.
You get to know your useful tools, then you look around, and there are some handy new tools nearby and those tools show you the bottomless horror that was always right next to your bed.
And now all your snowflakes are urine and you can't even find the cat.
The only reason coders' computers work better than non-coders' computers is coders know computers are schizophrenic little children with auto-immune diseases and we don't beat them when they're bad.
We don't even worry about it because another nuke doesn't make that much difference in a nuclear winter.
I don't remember singing spoons. There was a shower of cutlery. But that was somewhere else.
I stitched standards.
You have not yet spent so much of your life reading code that you begin to talk in it.
They trade stories about it as if sleepiness triggering acid trips is a normal thing that happens to people.
This is the central fallacy of the writer: he or she must absolutely believe something that is not true in order for it to become true.
There were good words put together in a sensible fashion to make entertaining and enlightening sentences.
The time is now to consume. Why skim when you deserve more?
Lies make us happy?
There is no escape from what you know.
All alone. The last one standing is left with nothing but time to think.
That which is divided must become one.
It's funny when you talk like that, as if those are real words.
They are coloured blined.
The problem with bribes is that as soon as you try it, the other party immediately knows what it is they should or shouldn't be doing.
I'm going bald and my flower is losing its petals.
I've not actually read the bible; there might be apocryphal stories of needing to leave donations before the porcelain god.
She's gone now. All bones left. The bones are boiling in my soup.
He's just this guy, you know?
It's right up there with 'humming being'.
Can you hear me now?
You need a pen to save your family.
My split ends have split ends.
There are five beds, one of which has been taken over by a pair of badgers.
He is very thinky.
This is our legacy. Pieces of our legs.
All things that live may die. All things that are may dream.
Take everything out of context. Context boxes you in, breaks you down. In context, there is no freedom to create.
We don't call it 'inventing' anymore. Now it is 'engineering' and 'design', the realms of professional teams with corporate lawyers.
People dream. Worlds dream. Some dreams I give, and some dreams I take, but in dreams I am always there, with you at every pass, every twist, every terror. And prayer? Prayer is implicit. There is no need for prayer when you are with me every time you close your eyes, every time you let your mind wander. I am beyond prayer. I am Dream.
It's the same dusty raspberry flavour.
Zombies and body parts are so simple. How do you make madness visually engaging?
Holding it in mind as the bones of memory... here we stand, alone at last.
Most of my best stories have been written en route to and from the liquor store.
The tree animation makes so much more sense if you are drunk. A pity the players rarely were, unlike the developers.
There are a few concepts you will need to understand: the bones of memory, time as a dimension, the general gist of infinity.
The problems change face over the years, yet the award winning recipe is ignorance with a hefty dose of attitude.
Do what I want, not what I tell you.
In Finland, there is a juice tax.
Write to learn. Write to understand. Write to remember.
It's bloody stupid and it's mine.
He had rabbits and he did not like rabbits.
You fight madness with madness.
Others drink to forget. I simple forget... and also drink.
We love our dreams, for they show us what we cannot have.
King of Dramatical, I rule this land with an iron box of tissues.
Memory is brutal when it's not quite there.
Untold pots of these thrive in awful conditions, sporadically watered with bad lighting and poor air quality.
Why does a horse with no name have a hostname?
Suitable for making cupcake decorations, where grayscale doesn't work well.
Hand to the Dead Master though I may be, to a perturbed sphinx, a perturbation is a perturbation.
Show me to your sheep.
The question is goats, not sheep.
I might as well have been a sphinx.
Finish your sentence.
The sun is too shiny.
Don't rush so much. Your life is not worth twenty seconds.
My memories are a jumbled mass and my head is full of sheep.
He has this enormous shepherd's crook. Why does he have an enormous shepherd's crook? Because he can.
Poking it with a stick: the universal gesture of curiosity.
They like disliking.
Just because it is not remembered does not mean it is not important. To forget does not absolve everything. You don't even know what you have lost, but it is still lost.
None of it makes the slightest sense, so we just follow the rituals and pretend that it does.
Stay in drugs. Eat your school. Don't do vegetables.
I like holes. They're airy and cool and you can see through them.
It might be knife-shaped because someone thought knives were purdy.
Things in books aren't secrets, or they wouldn't be secrets anymore.
Swedish is hardly a language. It's more like a speech defect.
I am here. I am pretending to do work. There is nothing suspicious about this.
They are the same because you are a book.
It's one of the perks of being enormous.
I am a model. For the sake of art, I'll have to blend in with nature and become one with it. And camoflaging myself. Or something like that.
I'm talking about paradoxical perspective. Or anti-tank missiles or radio-jamming pods. Or something like that.
We must get him at all costs! For our sacrificed comrades! For the fate of mankind! And most important of all, for our GRADES!
If you meet a person, you shall slay him! If you meet a god, you shall kill it! No need for questions and answers!
It is finished. Art is so brutal.
Words have meanings.
I couldn't read it because I blew it up.
They're talking to the balls?
While pancakes are the main food on Venus, they do not serve as emergency food. This honor goes to the pizza fern: a plant extremely common on Venus, yet rare everywhere else.
It's not a space shuttle launch. It's sex.
Hey, I can summon fire. Want some drugs?
A well in the basement?! That would be ABSURD. Now come on, let's get back to this world full of time-space portals and split shards of deities and sentient porridge.
It never occurred to me that he might have been lying.
Not all ghosts are angry or have unfinished business. Some are just annoying.
Welcome to Midnight, my humble abode.
Being me is not good for your health.
What mangos are you reading?
I've got knives. Knives everywhere. I think we'll be okay. Don't have much worth stealing except the knives now.
If it makes you angry, question why. Opposing viewpoints should never make you angry.
Here's what we learned when we accidentally destroyed this universe.
If you can't get in, keep trying. People inevitably crash.
She's in my head. How should I know what what she's really like?
It's a skeleton key. It's universal.
They need to learn how to hate. It doesn't come naturally.
Don't confuse me with Nevada.
It may cost a whole lot of money, but oh well.
On one hand I got assaulted by a straw. On the other hand, I got assaulted by an oven. You can even see the sores in the same place on each.
Make a DEX check. Did you fail yet? OK, make another DEX check. Sometimes it's best just to go with the narrative flow.
Expect disappointment and you won't be disappointed.
Doesn't matter how much BRAVE you have; bravery isn't bulletproof.
One of my students was working with incoherent fractions.
It's only fun for the first hundred thousand.
Your preferences will be realigned until you find this pleasurable or die.
I know a guy who could make you understand in a snap.
When they say that they won't kiss and tell, what they really mean is, 'the things which go on in here are literally unspeakable'.
I don't know what paradigm means but it looked snug at the end of that phrase, so why deny it?
Got something intelligent, rational or simply coherent to say? Get it off your chest here.
Drugs are a part of this complete breakfast.
At least my whiskey appreciates me.
I think the ship has kind of sailed, you know. The barn door is open, the cows are out and about, the bag is really devoid of cats.
The requirements above are technically breaking changes, but are very unlikely to actually break anything.
Sarathi broke me. The rest has just been custard on the pudding.
This world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel.
And we have here all her forgetfulness and rage in one confused little package.
We're all kept alive by magic. My magic's just a little different from yours.
I'll have to do a tuneup, and if I get a flat, I will be eight different colors of 'fucked'. I didn't even know 'fucked' came in eight colors. Thought it was only the three.
That would be such a dumb combination that it was probably exactly what happened.
I have 40 of something called 'rare herbs' and some other stuff I got called SOME USEFUL HERBS.
This doesn't look like lint or dirt. In the pipe it goes.
There are dragons in this box and I need them out.
Compiling Wine. Grab a lunch or two, rent a video, or whatever, in the meantime...
The night is dark and full of turtles.
I want to get a boat and put a mechanical bull on it.
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.
Do they even realize that they're causing the problems that they're protesting against?
This could all be a dream, dear. It's a simple concept to grasp.
Hi, I'm a moderator. Thank you for contacting me. We don't moderate!
Thanks for the reminder of how ridiculous we are.
Good, let the abstract quality flow through you.
Dreamer and Dream, the stories stay the same. The stories repeat themselves. The important thing is the stories.
Air is lumpy.
They watched the skies, and the stories soared overhead. What followed was an exodus of sphinxes.
If you're alive, raise your hand. Otherwise, we'll assume you've died.
A disturbed individual, as Richard would say. And then quickly retract with an apology.
I should be awake, theoretically, but ERR_INSUFFICIENT_AMOUNT_OF_CAFFEINE
My articles never have any edit wars because they never have any readers.
At its best it works, and at its worst it's like the biggest graveyard on wikipedia.
Differential equations sedate me.
That would be about as useful as half of the RFCs out there, like 'wireless TCP/IP networking via carrier pigeons'.
Where is /etc/hosts?
I actually want to punch you as much in person as I do online.
Why ruin that pretty skin of yours? Now I'll never be able to make my mask...
I am not going to scan a ferret.
The ghost of Chairman Mao will get you, Argento. Remember the trouble you had with Stalin?
If one didn't know how subversive this humor was, one could easily mistake it for a man too rich to make an effort.
The Home key works for me; everytime I press it, I look around and I'm at home. I haven't had the guts to try the End key yet.
I didn't have a life. I had a BBS.
The graphics are in your brain.
My dream is running away from me like a dog from a hungry korean.
In the grand scheme of things, your program is about as complex as the little clicky thing on the end of some pens.
He doesn't care - that's why he made a script that does.
I think the spell worked. I'm looking at the universe from the outside. It's a confusing mess.
There is no sparkle endpoint for wikidata as it stands.
You, sir, are guilty of reductio ad absurdum! My hat is a badger, so your argument is invalid!
My hat is a badger, so your argument is invalid.
When you factor in all the time saved by not writing scripts, it's really like two vacations.
Humans provide some very important protein.
It ain't possible to live unless you crossing somebody's line.
Nothing is real. Everything is permitted.
Your loneliness is spreading to your eyes.
The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana.
Don't be smart. Smart is only a polished version of dumb.
She tends to get distracted. Her mind wanders and amuses itself elsewhere.
Under college statute the head of the Department of Post-Mortem Communications is entitled, nay, required to make tasteless, divisive and moderately evil remarks.
It's hard to hate people who are a long way away. You forget how dreadful they are. But you see a neighbour's warts every day.
Death puts holes in things. In families, in communities. Places where a person was, and no longer are.
If they use variables we need to slit their throats a little bit.
It was hours ago. I don't remember.
The ratio of the children is the width of the pool.
Boulder has it right. If two men sleep together, they should be stoned.
Beak the media. Change the message.
If you put ten fair use experts in a room, you'll get twelve definitions before they leave.
Welcome oblivion does not come easily.
The holes aren't alive.
It's even scarier that it's a disease - it'd be one thing if it was 'a demon did it', but that's understandable somehow. A disease is brutally mechanical, which to me is scarier.
gitfiti.py is a tool to decorate your github account's commit history calendar by (blatantly) abusing git's ability to accept commits in the past.
Experiment! The crazier the idea, the likelier a successful outcome!
The patriarchy is using equality to oppress women. Now we need a new wave of feminism to be more equal than men.
Of course he has a fucking Hitler doll.
Does anyone have the key to the trash compactor?
I am altering the deal. Pray that I don't alter it any further.
On some level, all questions are stupid, so what does it matter?
Questions are not stupid. Not knowing to question, that is the stupid.
I am holding sauce. This is real. I am real.
Don't look back and say you shouldn't have done it. Look forward, and see that you shouldn't do it again.
Our bus factor is actualy quite good. Nobody entirely knows what they're doing, so not all that much would ever necessarily be lost.
In this game, stone is more reliable than reality. Even shale.
Go to your filthy bed! Revel in your vile dreams!
There is a diffrence between dreaming and pretending.
Even in these dark days, journalism occasionally happens.
Video killed the radio star.
Glaciers melting in the dead of night and the superstars sucked into the supermassive...
Has anyone really been so far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
No Spoon, no spork, no foon, not even a dire little fork, just... a manhole.
Alone. Alone with the death and the dusk and the soft spring sounds as the birds fluttered lazily overhead, the flowers bloomed mockingly underfoot and the rubble gleaming from the ashes of another ruined civilisation...
I don't think anal biscuits technically provide nutrition for the human body, or stuff.
He lives with one foot in his mouth, and the other in the Twilight Zone.
Tarnation and blimey!
How about sense-dependent invisibility?
Sometimes Nemo is so tactless that you can't be offended.
Bless your heart.
If this is Midnight, then anything can happen. I can make up the worlds, whatever I feel like. I can put you in a room and make you score maths tests.
Save the gay whales in Darfur.
Laziness is a virtue when tempered with ingenuity. And when I don't have to review your code.
I think you have a well-developed zero.
Clicking the mouse will focus your eyes.
Stories speak to us in ways reality never could.
Reality speaks to us in ways stories never could.
Stop messing with people's heads when they can't even hear you.
If time is a dimension consisting of iterations of every lower dimension, is that not exactly the same as every lower dimension in turn? What does that say of all the dimensions that come after?
What successive but unfound dimensions could follow?
The things in place designed to help is really the thing keeping everyone back.
They say I sodomised a pine tree.
Please stop being so much more peculiar than you usually are!
Is it true that you when you were 14 you called your teacher a cootie-licker?
We do not promise change. We promise improvement. We promise to learn.
A program in lolcode to calculate the atomic weight of curry.
My participation ribbon is a paycheck.
Word salad and number soup.
Naw, it's good. I was too stoned to care.
The effects of stupidity can be adequately simulated using vodka.
You may have your faults, but at least you have pants on.
I don't deal well with stress, but I don't plan on putting myself in stressful situations. Actually, I plan on avoiding them entirely.
More piggies, GIR! I demand piggies!
It's late. I need to go snorkel cheese.
Did you say say 'pig' or 'fig'?
It's okay, I've already started gibbering over this box of raw explosive power in my hands.
Roll nature to speak bee.
That actually is quite impressive. You would expect someone used to drugs that powerful to be incapable of functioning.
Fatal error: Unable to find local grunt.
The universe hates you. Deal with it.
Truth sounds like hate to those who hate truth.
It's only cheating if you get caught.
I'm an architect. I build things. Walls, ceilings. All I want is peace. Sanity. Cathedrals.
Can you imagine if all these posts had the word white swapped with black? People would blow up.
Well, this was one of my predictions. One of my nine predictions.
He's upset at the raccoon on the ceiling.
You are my secret. You, who read these dreams put cold to the pages of the Book.
Heaven forbid we let someone who understands it get a good grade.
He could use them for so much more than any of us could. We'd just use them to kill pain; he could use them for genuine enjoyment.
I think it's hysterical they made him an air traffic controller.
I just spend a Minor Action to summon a cloud of boiling blood.
Shut up. We're being moved by humanity's gentleness right now. You go and die over there.
I want etherpad programming.
10 years ago this would be satire. But not today.
This isn't a cult. Our bedrock principles are open access and transparency.
The whole world must learn of our peaceful ways. By force.
You are more likely to trip and die than be killed by a gun.
It's information and no one owns it.
I am a trisexual pineapple.
mw.loader.state('the_pope_is_an_atheist_woman_alien', 'missing');
I'd rather be a damsel than a bullet sponge.
How does my tin foil hat look?
There have been several people that have been shot by an unloaded gun.
Saying "it's impossible to discriminate" allows people to discriminate with impunity.
MediaWiki code is very much sausage.
Logic is a pretty powerful tool, but it only works if you give it good input.
I think what Nemo's getting at is that the appendix is just plain weird.
Many have eyes, but few have seen.
Dreams show us the things we long for, give us a taste of what could have been. And then we awaken...
Happy Easter. Here's a chocolate version of the cross our Lord was tortured and killed on.
But you did go one hour without killing me. And If you can go an hour, maybe you could go a day. Then a week. Then maybe, just maybe, a lifetime.
Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor.
Don't laugh guys, they never said anything about making a good difference, just a difference. I for one, am terrified of this prospect.
I tried to make her a Zimizmizt, but she only converted against her will and without her knowledge. It's better than Mormon baptisms for the dead. I can convert anybody, living or dead, whether they are aware of it or not.
I don't remember what happened to the mouseforged, but I would like to be in a giant swimming pool filled with chocolate pudding.
We wasted so much time waterboarding that duck.
Dust his ass for footprints.
As a massive troll, I can be an asshole on the Internet with a simple press of a button, so that I don't have to waste precious time actually coming up with and typing words.
You've replaced yourself with a small shell script!
I once had a rock garden. Three of them died.
I have found more ways to derange than arrange.
Foxes run from drooling dogs.
Don't make me pull this volcano over.
Crew members don't hang out in walls.
Windows NT 4.0 - still more free than your average mobile OS.
I am at peace. That's what bothers me.
Is wiretapping them legal if we have someone from the NSA do it?
I'm never using that lawnmower again. That's how I lost my hair you know?
You like having to clean strangers' poop off of your babies? It's bad enough that they're covered in their own poop.
I am an asshole and I like being an asshole. Assholes are usually the most honest people.
Ego. That's what it means to be a god. Pure, unadulterated ego.
Please, please help me. The eel is moving through my body.
Dinosaurs probably had tapeworms too, and we can only wonder how long they got.
Muh feelings!
Sanity is a difficult prospect. Maintaining it would be enough to drive one mad.
Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?
Cellar door.
Warning: Use your brain.
This is riddle wrapped in a mystery wrapped in an enigma.
Let's trade secrets. I've only got one, and I've forgotten what it is.
Like a great salmon, we must forge up the stream of evil and stop it before it spawns.
I can see the zerg. I can see everything again.
Dog? Oh, you delightful idiot. I'm his cat, of course!
I was bored while waiting for my torrent to finish so I wrote AI replacements for the Marks.
Because in any given day billions of humans pee and only millions have a child, it follows that the needs of the population of pee-ers are a thousand times more important than the needs of the birth-givers.
There's no room for biology in there for me. I feel that the social sciences should challenge thinking that is based on the differences between humans being biological.
It is the social sciences task to challenge biological thinking.
They are frenetically concerned with biological explanations.
The rest of us will just be hanging around and being annoying distractions.
Passing blame is so much easier than owning up to your own actions.
It's not grand. It's not epic. That's the whole point. It's just a story of someone utterly alone in the world who has to fight for every step, and doesn't even necessarily win in the end.
I love the way Microsoft follows standards. In much the same manner that fish follow migrating caribou.
It's on the server, but no-one's enabled it yet. So you don't need to give a damn about backwards compatibility as there's nothing to be compatible with.
One ought to approve. Ecofont is designed to save ink, money and eventually the planet, but heaven save us from worthy fonts. Ecofont is a program that adds holes to a font.
If you use Comic Sans, you're using a font designed for an animated dog.
There are so many ways an intoxicated cow could go.
I feel like we're doing this again, but that just means we're getting good at it.
The murmurer in the earth and I talk. I lay my head against the dirt.
I penned a scathing letter of complaint to the minister of agriculture, but the letter was returned to me. Am I the minister of agriculture? If so, how do I get this jerk to stop sending me complaint letters?
It's okay. All you have to do is unplug the zarooorth matrix and make sure to de-brog it before you cook it. Don't forget, only macrowave cookers will do.
To be honest I watch the show because I'm lonely and desperate because no house would ever go out with a garage like me.
First you tell a lie. Then you become the lie, and in time, the lie becomes you. Except at this point it's no longer really a lie anymore, because it's true, it's all true, and it's always been true.
I'm telling you, Teal'c, if we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm going to lose it. Lose it. It means go crazy. Nuts. Insane. Bonzo. No longer in possession of one's faculties, three fries short of a happy meal, wacko!
It's like when you lose a screw, and you don't know where it went. You take another screw and this time you watch where it falls.
The only way to beat a temptation is to give into it.
You've got to know about jokes. You are one.
Strange isn't a bad thing. Just unexpected.
Strength in isolation.
I'd go anywhere if it just made some sense.
You definitely wouldn't want to take Amtrak to hell. You'd get there three days late.
Has anyone really been so far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes. Together we can stop this. Please spread the word.
I love hitmen. No matter what you do to them, you don't feel bad.
The same end waits for us all, rich or poor, strong or weak. I pray only that they may find it swiftly.
I've personally gotten 12 monkeys high and given them a computer, and all they ever wrote was the letter 's' repeated 1,214 times, and then they jammed the keyboard with feces.
He didn't say anything. He was too busy dying.
MediaWiki is... organic. Like manure.
Fine. Then we'll all go. Forget about Harper, forget about Burma, forget about the refugees. We'll all just go down to a live sun and have a picnic.
If someone says that their code is copyright 'All Rights Received', does that mean I'm allowed to use it?
Do de do de do.
From the beginning, what are the ten radical isotopes?
You can have a typo, but in this case you have a writo.
A graph is always easier than a paragraph.
It shows what food feeds on which food.
Dude, responding to everything I say with weird pictures does not constitute a debate.
Racism is the new progress. Racism is the new tolerance. Racism is the new equality.
I need a seagull boundary.
One of their major food sources is suffering.
Remember how minimal these minimals can get.
You are the reason the saying 'ignorance is bliss' exists.
I can't predict the future. I pay professionals to do that, and even they get it wrong sometimes.
Somebody doxed most of Chile on doxbin once. Like legit, they posted a file with info on most people in Chile.
I mean, that's pretty horrible, but 'most of Chile'. That's just hilarious.
This is a serious matter, even though I'm still wearing my giraffe-skin jacket and electronic shoes modeled off of Big Mouth Billy Bass.
Free will is an illusion. Whether you acknowledge me or not is your own business, but I will be in your mind.
Everyone is a super saiyan charr now.
That's the perfect place for a quarry. Nobody will care if you mess up the earth there. Because it's Michigan.
Copyright law might be the most interesting thing that also makes me want to punch myself in the face.
Because the images were taken by a monkey, no human copyright applies.
The choice is yours. I can give you the horrible truth, or you can believe the pretty lie and go on about your lives. I'd take the lie, myself. Lies are what keep us sane, they're what hold up all the dreams and lovely things that make the worlds so interesting.
Who but a dreamer could appreciate the tragedy that holds us up?
Now, I may be dead and slowly losing my mind, but I'm still a Dark Elf, and therefore the logic here works out perfectly in every way.
Sometimes the easiest method you know is the hardest method there is.
Everyone who will ever oppose you in life is a crazy, burly dude with a spoon, and you will never be able to outspoon them.
Mysticism means taking a step back and accepting that the very laws of reason and logic you abide by are merely one option of many. It means knowing you only see half the picture in a world where everyone else thinks they see the whole thing. It means having the sheer arrogance to have humility.
I gave up, ran around like a headless chicken and then went to watch TV instead.
The experience of typing a command and getting near instantaneous results far exceeds the experience of trying to find something to click, clicking it, then waiting in the hopes that something will happen, maybe even what you wanted.
People are very strange these days.
To someone who only knows how to dig with a spoon, the notion of digging something as large as a trench will terrify them. All they know are spoons, so as far as they're concerned, digging is simply difficult. The only way they can imagine it getting any easier is if they change – digging with a spoon until they get stronger, faster, and tougher. And the dangerous people, they'll actually try this.
Federal agents play a debased role when they become the instigators of the superprotection, or partners in its commission, or the creative brain behind the illegal scheme.
Now how are we going to decide who's the worst hostage?
I'm as presentable as a murderously spiteful old man with a wet beard can get.
The current state of the art is broken.
Roof Koreans for hire.
There's a moose?
It's not exactly an ill met newt by noonlight.
Personally I would like to see this code carefully gutted.
You can fix the mainpage by deleting all the content in home.css.
What are my reasons? Even I'll never know.
What could possibly go wrong?
Fundemental ass satellite of space.
The beard signifies the courageous; the beard distinguishes the grown men, the earnest, the active, the vigorous. So that when we describe such, we say, he is a bearded man.
He wanted my wheat, but I gave him a bear.
Shhhh! If we're quiet, maybe the tornado won't hear us.
Sorry. I didn't hear the question. I was too busy staring at my thumb.
So, the land doesn't float on top of the ocean?
Can we do something other than set fire to my eyebrows? We've already done that three times.
You can't explain a rock. A rock is a rock.
Sometimes I sit around for hours and think about how cool it is that I can speak and you can understand what I'm saying.
He looks different. He's not dressed like a taco!
It's almost the weekend. Tomorrow's already over.
I can't hear you. What's your clown name?
I think I might go take a nap outside. I can feel my eyes melting into the darkness that is my soul.
I vow that no matter where we go, when we go, or if we go, I will always be there until the day that I get to stick a paintbrush up your nose.
The greatest lie we tell ourselves is 'I'll remember it'.
Just words, words, words and no meaning left.
Omaha seems really unpleasant.
He was almost like a trainwreck, but without the train. Or possibly the wreck.
The end is only the beginning.
I could saturate my connection with mango cheesecake.
Please use 'perkele' no more than 8 times per email.
Creatures with teeth on their tongue should not exist.
I'd rather be miserable than not exist, for whatever reason.
We call them games because they are not real. The bad things happen there, not to us. The characters do things we never could, and skip past the things we just don't care for. When the game becomes real... the implications hang in the air like a sentence that trails off into stupid oblivion.
Was I sleeping, while the others suffered? Am I sleeping now? Tomorrow, when I wake, or think I do, what shall I say of today?
Down in the hole, lingeringly, the grave digger puts on the forceps. We have time to grow old. The air is full of our cries. But habit is a great deadener.
One day, is that not enough for you, one day he went dumb, one day I went blind, one day we'll go deaf, one day we were born, one day we shall die, the same day, the same second, is that not enough for you?
They give birth astride of a grave, the light gleams an instant, then it's night once more.
Self-awareness is for assholes. I prefer to be aware of tacos instead.
It is a play in which nothing happens. Twice.
Is any idea so dangerous that it justifies censorship?
I fear all we've done is awaken a giant and fill him with terrible resolve.
Good advice is boring.
The person who says it cannot be done should not bother the one who is doing it.
Any sufficiently advanced business model is indistinguishable from a scam.
I have a moustache on my soul.
Don't underestimate spite economics.
It's not real. It's not going to warp anyone's mind unless they're already so warped that they don't know the difference between real and pretend.
Thus, even assuming that reading sometimes has an adverse effect upon moral conduct, the effect is not likely to be substantial, for those who are susceptible seldom read.
One alligator in custody.
If philosophy is dead, then human thought is irrelevant. If human thought is irrelevant, then science in meaningless. If science is meaningless, how can it declare the end of philosophy?
In other news, I am still alive therefore death must be a myth.
His biggest offense is saying 'nipples' a lot.
Everyone is hot and I'm really bad at handling it.
Best if consumed simultaneously.
We are not always dead inside.
The columns of smoke in the foreground are telephone poles boiling.
Eels are most prevalent on thursdays.
He's such an unlikable little twat. Now we know why: he was played by an unlikable little twat!
Cry me a river so I can drown you in it.
I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
Its very very technical and scientific, involving the introduction of organic substance interfacing with its structural integrity. I whacked it really really hard.
Man's natural state is slavery; we are unhappy because we are too 'free'.
Here we will share the memes of our people.
Cheese in this situation equals money.
It's happening.
We're trapped in the belly of this horrible machine, and the machine is bleeding to death.
Tile patterns. It isn't that abnormal.
It is the most imaginative sort of degeneracy.
I'm smarter than your average bear.
Nobody dies when two planes full of skydivers crash in the air.
That's fine. Anything that happens only in your head is totally cool and fine.
Birds walk on you. Isn't it convenient that now everything else can too?
I am not a nice person, it is about time you realize this.
We must die unto one world before we may be reborn into another.
I also have the string 'new messages (2,312)' from LiquidThreads rewritten as 'noise' using per-user JavaScript.
It looks like setting your house on fire in order to give your husband sufficient motivation to check the smoke alarm.
Snakes lost their legs long ago in the Vietnam War.
We must eat all these possums that were burned.
They come from broken homes, which end up producing broken minds.
You would likely observe more overt displays of aggression from people playing an innocuous, yet challenging, game like Candy Crush Saga, as opposed to a game that is little more than shooting down anything in your path.
Please add more unwarranted explosions to gifs.
Expect anything.
I take my hedgehog grocery shopping and nobody tells me to stop.
We must defeat the Huns!
Nobody notices what I do until I don't do it.
In a world where public opinion matters more than facts, it no longer matters if you are correct or incorrect. All that matters is how many people like, favorite, and share your version of events.
Geez, can't a guy violate the laws of physics without getting yelled at?
You're not getting more degenerate. You're just boring.
Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.
I am Groot.
I don't question it and just file it away as a puzzle piece.
I just strap a pillow to my head, go into the backyard, and headbutt a tree.
The ends justify the memes.
4chan is chaotic neutral. Might donate money to a good cause, might flood the net with bizarre erotic Shrek fanfiction.
I am constantly astonished a crappy fanfic of a ridiculous fanfic of a terrible book is being made into a movie.
Skeletons eff off. I swear to god.
The global internet is being attacked by sharks.
Who cares about facts? The only important thing is that what you're saying is offensive and can't be said. Something being true in no ways justifies you being able to say it.
See this hat? Tis' my cat.
This area looks JEWISH.
I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.
It's basically an ideological food fight.
They have us surrounded. Those poor bastards.
It's not arrogant to state a simple fact.
Nobody is going to come find me and beat the shit out of me at my house. That'd take a level of effort that these people aren't capable of.
I'm not mad. I'm the only sane one left.
If no-one comes from the future to stop you doing it, how bad of a decision can it be?
Why am I only motivated to sort my life out at 3am?
We've been looking for the enemy for some time now. We've finally found him. We're surrounded. That simplifies things.
I don't know what happens at the end of Skyrim but I do know what happens if you do nothing but steal shoes for forty hours.
That thing looks like a demon. Why would you name him after cheese?
Where do you get so many pictures of dinosaurs skateboarding?
I will destroy all you hold dear and return to bed.
A Russian satellite full of geckos is floating around in space, and mission control has lost the ability to control it.
It sounds like some random lunatic with a hammer trying to very quietly steal the floor. Are they trying to hang pictures on the floor?
Kids today blow up so fast.
Equality is impossible unless everyone is dragged down to the lowest common denominator. Its against everything that makes us different and unique. You will find equality nowhere in nature or life on earth, in space, on other planets, nowhere. Only in the minds of people too stupid to see how impractical and UNEQUAL equality really is.
I've summoned an elevator and mistaken myself for a necromancer.
The chaos army seems suspiciously well-organised.
The lunatics upstairs have moved on from stealing the floor piece-by-piece to playing life-sized billiards.
Random whitespace is important. It's a design thing. You wouldn't understand.
Okay, yeah. I am an adult. I am so adult. Look at me adulting all over the place.
It's not about the colour of the bikeshed. It's about calling a bikeshed a community centre.
Yes, there is a skull suspended n blackness that is always floating behind you. But you can't jut assume that's a bad thing.
Every jumbled pile of person has a thinking part that wonders what the part that isn't thinking isn't thinking of.
Catting intensifies.
The fourth dimension is not time. It is goat.
When you're out of the game you feel like you're hiding yourself. When I look in the mirror, all I see is what I really am.
We spent three months debugging it because we only had one month to build it.
Darkness is pure, transparent, beautiful.
This game isn't designed for you, the players, it's designed for some other people, people who don't play GW2.
The government that just 'lost' two years of emails would like to handle your medical records from now on.
Court Dismissed. Bring in the dancing lobsters.
You can't solve your problems with sad flute music.
After we changed the definition of misogyny, we are finding it everywhere.
Children live in the same world we do. To kid ourselves that we can shelter them from it isn't just naive - it's a vanity.
Never again were gamers so intimidated by a few hundred ambiguously gendered triangles.
Owls may be symbols of wisdom, but they're actually complete morons.
Never underestimate the power and reach of potatoes.
Some days, I feel everything at once. Other days I feel nothing at all.
Pretending to know everything closes the door to finding out what is really there.
Nintendo wins by doing absolutely nothing.
I am not a children; I AM A MAP.
If you think you feel well enough to stop taking your meds, don't. You feel that way because the meds are working.
Bad times friend ahead. Maybe no computer. Maybe no home. I go away but we are two of soul. I will return.
Gamagoori Ira doesn't actually have set proportions, his height is just bigger than you.
Of course you had a gif of a guy shaking a chicken.
The phrase 'Wardrobe by Kmart' should not appear in a film's credits.
Murderers have only one valence electron (like Hydrogen) and will covalently bond with Oxygen atoms.
If any facts posted by this site are true, it is only by mistake.
He ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times.
Sarcasm is really helpful.
In Yu-Shan there are slums filled with unemployed, destitute gods.
The average whale is about the size of a whale.
A chicken wearing a plunger shows how dinosaurs walk.
It takes an idiot to do cool things. That's why it's cool.
You're being digested by a cellar! Your morals don't count!
I found the angriest-looking fish in the world.
Happy birthday. Here's a plastic sack of my breath.
A dream that will come true is not a real dream.
You are a ghost riding a meat covered skeleton on a rock that's floating through space. FEAR NOTHING.
I want to see the inside. I want to disassemble it. I want to reassemble it.
Our LAMP server is powered by 30 halogen bulbs for extra bright lightening that will definitely hurt your eyes.
My lucidity for the past 2 years has been well above average.
I think I can say without a salmon of doubt that this is the best thank-you present I have ever received.
I've already alerted the relevant authorities. And some irrelevant ones.
There are some things about CentralNotice that I never liked from the outset, and my approach to fixing that was to mention it offhand once every 2 years. This proved to be ineffective.
I have come to discover that few things are more taxing, or make one feel more helpless, than trying to warn others to not be like you once were.
What has this world come to? And what's worse - where are we going?
That man has been caked in so many substances and fluids by now that he's probably immune to literally everything.
This is my blog. I peed on it, so now it's mine.
You look sad. So let me tell you about my day. I'm a librarian, see. I spent all day librarianing in a library. Then I stopped librarianing and left because it was the end of the day. And then I found this butterfly. Have this butterfly.
I spend my whole childhood reading and collecting every book I could find. I'd be a lot more concerned now if I couldn't librarian after that.
Everyone's staring at us. Let's make a scene.
I drempt I was a tree. And you were a bear. And you kept trying to mate with me. So perhaps you'll appreciate why I don't like to think dreams necessarily mean a whole lot.
Okay, where do we get an incubus? Or, more specifically, where do we get someone we can dress up as an incubus? Who isn't a really expensive stripper, preferably?
Some secrets are dangerous, too dangerous to let out. And yet the more people who know these dangerous secrets, the safer they become.
I'm a stand-up comedian. This means I stand up and make really bad jokes until something knocks me over.
I'm not very useful in a fight, but I am pretty useful slightly off to the side of a fight.
The field of battle shall be a ring of jello, and in it we shall fight each other with fists of marshmallow!
I am the embodiment of goof.
I'm sorry, I'm trying to understand what you just said. A world in which there are no libraries? How is that possible, if there's anyone left at all? Libraries aren't just buildings, books on shelves. They're ideas, stories, and stories you pass on, tell to others. You can write them down to keep them longer, to share them further, but you don't have to, because they still survive in the people themselves. So long as anyone remembers, they're still real.
That's not true at all. I don't believe people are naturally good, I believe they are naturally assholes. Being nice to them is just the most reliable way I've found to avoid bringing out those inner assholes.
Help! A cliché is trying to kill me! Oh hells, he's really trying to kill me!
It's okay. I know, I'm going to utterly screw this up, ruin everything, it's true, but then there'll be a giant cupcake and things will get better.
I don't care if I'm the Chosen of the God of Death, I'm still a librarian, and he killed my library! How is this just?
'Justice' is such a dangerous concept. So easy to break the balance, to go too far. And what good is it, even? Justice doesn't bring back what is lost.
At least death is simple.
What is this? You'd kill an unarmed dead librarian? What's wrong with you?
I'm sorry I dragged you into this and got everyone killed.
Act like a raving lunatic? Fuck that. I'm gonna be a raving lunatic.
If you don't let me go, I won't leave. Now normally that would be a really stupid argument, but I think in this case we can both agree that it'd be best if I do.
Okay, we're all dead and we're still completely incapable of making any progress. Good to see some things never change.
They killed me! I'll kill them! With... something, I don't know what yet, but I'll come up with something this time!
You! You killed me! I shall have my revenge! Seriously, where is my revenge? It should be here by now.
Incoming message from the Big Giant Head.
Be loyal, be brave, believe in your friends. Believe in everything you have believed. I believe there is good in every person, that everyone deserves a second chance. I believe in fairies and unicorns and in selfless heroes, but I don't believe in you!
I've been to the edge of space. Just looked like... more space.
You must be iron-deficient if you can't see all the delicious irony here.
We should all be thankful that centipedes can't fly.
I appreciate anyone who can wax philosophical about a chinless lump who once ate his own mattress whole.
Wanting journalistic integrity is a sign of end times.
As a plant, the most fun I get is dousing myself with salad dressing and running through the woods naked.
I wanna get married in an outfit that makes me look like a cross between some sort of space overlord and a twinkly porn star.
Some people underestimate how erotic it is to be understood.
Some people are so poor that all they have is money.
Greed is a cleaner villain than senseless hate.
Cats are not very good at chess.
I don't know who is trolling whom anymore.
I might have a hundredth of the followers they do, but at least I have a degree in the things I'm talking about rather than a degree in talking about things.
This whole thing has been a sloppy and pathetic attempt at a real conspiracy. And yet people are still falling for it.
We need to learn from this, and become resistant to these methods. There are bigger enemies all around us, and we can't afford to waste this much time struggling to beat the rat in the starting dungeon.
Remember when the chicken plant burned down in 8th grade and we were all wearing clown costumes?
Irked fans produce fanfic like irritated oysters produce pearls.
There is no such thing as fiction, only non-fiction set in the wrong universe.
The best trait is patience. That, or a nice set of teeth.
Tilt shift the universe.
I've done far stranger, for far more questionable of reasons. Like the time I robbed a 7-11 at gunpoint for a pack of gum because a drunk told me he'd tell the world who I was if I didn't, and when I seemed interested in who he thought he was, he said he'd tell me if I did it. Except then he was gone when I got back, so I just returned the gum and fenced the gun and made a tidy 200 dollars.
Don't bother apologizing if you're just going to continue doing the things you said sorry for.
I show how much I love PoC by lumping asians, hispanics, blacks, and native americans together into an identity-erasing term called PoC.
Griffons pronk.
Ideally there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
They are pretty good when you are not willing yourself through the fucking empire of sour cream only to end up in lettuce country.
I hope it's not another fucking salsa pocket.
You're the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
The danger is bureaucrats. And that danger has never faded.
I hate it when my mom horks up a tumor, and it starts multiplying, and taking over valuable cupboard space.
Why is being hated and feared so god damn fun?
The house would be absolutely perfect if it weren't for that pesky little area under the balcony where people keep raising the dead.
Magic can kill. Knives can kill. Even small children launched at great speed could kill.
Hate never wins out in the end. It instead goes always to its lonely, dusty end.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
Words create lies. Pain can be trusted.
Everybody is the same.
They are perfection, the ideal being with clothes.
Man, what did zombies ever do to you to get themselves compared to social justice warriors?
There's no kill like overkill.
The most intense form of pretentious dishevelment I've ever seen in my life.
I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are.
Here's a graph. Not sure what's on it, but there's a graph.
Why can't we go back to the simpler things in life? Like pants-eating monsters.
The first time gives them the ultimate high, and after that no high is as good. Unfortunately the addict doesn't know that. He will chase that high to the gates of insanity and death.
Did I say that or just think it? Am I talking? Can they hear me?
The smarter you get the less you speak.
This object has been temporarily removed as we revise its facial expression, which was deemed zoologically improbably and/or terrifying to small children.
Science doesn't have to invalidate mythology or fiction, no more than mythology or fiction invalidates science.
Arson is a sexist industry.
Where did the strawmen touch you when you were a child?
You were so focused on whether you COULD do it that you never stopped to ask whether you SHOULD.
Sloths are what happens when coconuts come alive.
I'd love to meet the genius who thought of charging a fee for applying for financial aid.
That which has no existence cannot be destroyed. That which cannot be destroyed cannot require anything to preserve it from destruction.
Natural rights is simple nonsense: natural and imprescriptable rights, rhetorical nonsense - nonsense upon stilts.
Samantha Wright is an adorable combination of the Hulk and Tinkerbell.
Remember, the real lady is what's under the mask.
My cat dispenser is broken. I asked for cream and sugar and all I get is black.
Potassium.
And we were trapped there for a very long time because the bananas would not leave and they were everywhere.
Once we saw him juggling the hermit crabs in his tank.
After all these years in combat, why isn't there a way to better protect operators going through the door?
Terror is nothing else than justice, prompt, severe, inflexible.
Chromosomes are a social construct.
Bullets are a part of a balanced breakfast.
I remember when memes were a dirty secret on the internet.
I'm a forensic criminologist. Our slogan is 'can't run fast enough to be a serial killer so I'll just help the police catch them'.
A just universe would be a hell. There would be no room for kindness or growth, no room for heroes. No room for mercy.
I think space is governed by international maritime law, and several treaties between the US and RU, namely you can't test nuclear weapons in space, and they are supposed to assist each other in event of alien invasion. Gambling is legal.
I don't want gender; I want wings and the ability to breathe fire.
Scarves are scientifically proven to make you more awesome.
Go sports! Move the thing to the other thing!
Are you sure the mud isn't sentient?
Thank you, bathtub barracuda.
The fool thinks he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.
Is there no way out of the mind?
It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.
Regardless of whatever ideology you ascribe to, I think everyone can agree trying to make the world a better place is a worthwhile endeavor.
You were never born. Just removed.
The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.
This is your daily reminder that you will receive daily reminders on a daily basis.
Then Robespierre Robespierred all over the place.
Robespierre was the Robespierre of Robespierre.
We all make mistakes, but honestly, who keeps their bottle of assholes that close to their creation-forge?
Because of course she's Sarah. They were all Sarah.
I have been mortal, and some part of me is mortal yet. I am full of tears and hunger and the fear of death, though I cannot weep, and I want nothing, and I cannot die. I am not like the others now, for no unicorn was ever born who could regret...
I would rather to be in a hot tub with Satan discussing politics.
Breathe into the BEE ORB to reveal your fate.
All this project has taught me is that many women try to get offended and expect me to change my opinion for their benefit. That's not something I do for men, that's not something I'll do for women. Sorry; this is the cost of equality.
The majority of our statements have only been contradictory to people who choose to believe something regardless of the evidence presented.
Dying is a good way to learn so long as you're paying attention.
I don't think you can accurately do a tl;dr on something so big.
Their decisions meant 4chan would be left as the only avenue of discussion.
If humans could fly, we'd consider it exercise and never do it.
Rarely, if ever, has a corpse laid beside someone in their bed. This fear is mostly unfounded.
It's always going to be dangerous no matter what. People don't like to hear that they're wrong or that they're doing bad things. But there's always going to be someone who needs help, and if she's serious about it, it's not something that's going to end.
Fear is freedom! Subjugation is liberation! Contradiction is truth! Those are the facts of this world!
This language is literally keysmashing.
Love is love, man, if you are happy just enjoy it. No need to complicate shit because of other's thoughts. I honestly don't care what you do though.
The shooter was a casino american.
Oxygen is not toxic, just setting you on fire very very slowly.
Death is but the cuddle of eternity.
Pink is the ambassador of an otherworldly and unknowable realm. It is the most badass colour out there.
You're like Sherlock Holmes except of no use to anyone.
I have to remember my cat. I can't keep my cat if I get into trouble.
We should eat whatever those things are.
If you think there are only stupid and worthless people around you, you might be one of them.
Screen scrape ALL the things!
Let's interrogate all the flowers in the forest.
Sometimes the gods listen. Even out here, sometimes they listen.
Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.
A star field. Why always a simple star field when the sky is so much more vibrant than that?
She is like a candle in the wind. Unreliable.
By the power of me spinach, I will pulveratize ya.
I don't need to prove myself to you. How dare you. I love breathing oxygen.
Where's the pic with every single meme face morphed into one giant abomination? Please, someone, find this.
Civilised societies don't take slaves. They build them.
You can get anonymity in a bar, because if you can't remember your own name, chances are no one else can either. Unless it's a small town.
It may be a little optimistic to expect this party to work intentionally towards a goal.
What colour of paisley reality packing foam is it? That's intended to explode over and close the holes in the universe.
I need Henry the Eighth to reside over my crotch like some messed up guardian who will behead or divorce all who dare try to pass him.
People who triumph over adversity often decide adversity is therefore fine.
Everything in Australia is a goddamn spider.
Insanity is a legal term. Very few offenders are legally insane.
It is like a library or a public park: it seems wholesome but is full of perverts.
They already hate themselves more than you could ever hate them.
According to the regulator which has to ensure real value, virtual currencies are 'money substitutes'.
I am not a nut, nor am I several nuts.
It isn't a kids' show. It's a people show.
There is no need to create a directory of articles that mention coal balls.
The sidewalk of New York is where smiles go to die.
Peach's panties were deemed to risque for a young audience in the 3DS version of Super Smash Bros. Instead, children playing the game will be welcomed to the VOID.
You don't need to make formal alliances with people you trust.
Nothing makes the past a sweeter place to visit than the prospect of imminent death.
The story happens because of the protagonist, not Palace Guard #2. I'm sure he's a great guy, and yes, he can be present in the story if he adds something, but I don't need his history and contact info.
Your mind is already so prodigiously empty that there is nothing in it to clear away in the first place.
Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it.
I love that someone looked at bagpipes and thought 'this could use a little more fire'.
And this right here is about the most anyone will ever need to see of this particular film, unless you actually enjoy boredom and unnecessary close-ups of kneecaps.
I'm sure this means something, but don't ask me what.
Cats are controlled by government satellites. You blocked the signal so it shut down.
His magic is fist!
Money can't make you happy unless you roll around in it.
It is impossible and not recommended.
Some skeletons just want to dress up as meat products and direct you to the pharmacy and that's okay.
Freedom of speech is important so that we know just how stupid the people around us are.
He says his asshole son inherited his strong chin and I will not allow chinless Zues up there to stand. I just will not.
I have one really photogenic cat and one idiot.
The vast majority of old galaxies look like train wrecks. So our first thought was, why is this one so different, and so beautiful?
There's something really gay about two men having sex with each other.
I didn't do anything, I just spoke the truth.
Some stories are just better than others.
Someone took a candid photo of a fight in Ukranian Parliament that is as well-composed as the best renaissance art.
We bred wolves until they were dumb enough that they needed us and now we film them while laughing about how dumb they are.
I think I have underestimated the power of soup.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.
I used to be like you, a long time ago. All brand new and perfect; no mistakes, no regrets. People look at you and think of how wonderful your future will be. They want you to be something special, like a doctor or a lawyer. I hate to tell you this, but if you grow up here, you're more likely to wind up selling your bodies on the streets or shooting dope from dirty needles in a bus stop. And if you're successful, you'll make money selling junk to crackheads, and won't think twice about killing someone's wife, because you won't even know it's wrong in the first place. Maybe... you'll end up like me. A hobo with a shotgun. I hope you can do better. You are the future.
Praise is the last thing they need. Praise is what got us into this mess in the first place.
My life is a never ending chain of working my ass off only to discover that the qualifying bar was raised a week before I showed up.
The crusade is taking a 20-minute break.
Suffice to say the entire thing was a hoot in the most sarcastic of senses.
I try to be a considerate sociopath.
When the wise man points at the moon, the idiot observes the finger.
America must be kept American.
Do they sense it, these dead writers, when their books are read? Does a pinprick of light appear in their darkness? Is their soul stirred by the feather touch of another mind reading theirs? I do hope so.
That guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You could smell crazy on him.
She died as she lived, licking things she wasn't supposed to.
I've had a god in my brain. I don't recommend it.
How to approach a finn: you don't. You just don't.
I've never liked people and I will never like them. People are the worst species on earth.
Reaching for a spruce, one falls on a juniper.
Who will raise the cat's tail if not the cat itself?
I'm a fan of freedom. And choice. And life. And the freedom to make really bad choices with your life. Like I do.
If vampires don't need air, they would be awesome scuba divers. They could just wear a backpack full of rocks and walk on the bottom. And if they dive deep enough, light won't even reach down there. Like, aquatic vampire covens at the bottom of ocean trenches...
Scientists now believe that early flowering times for plants around Walden Pond can be blamed on Henry David Thoreau's angry ghost and not, as previously thought, global climate change.
The prehistoric era was God's deviantart stage. Now he just hides all of his stupid-looking OCs in the ocean where no one can find them.
It's bad. I mean, bad. Like, bad bad. It's really bad.
I hate children, so I try to hit them with doors whenever I can.
If you drive in Lapland and see ghostly pair of glowing antlers on the road, they're probably attached to a whole animal and you should start slowing down.
Have you ever wondered how tar tastes? If you ever visit Finland you will have plenty of options to try out. We have, for example, tar-flavoured lemonade, tar-flavoured candy, tar-flavoured alcohol, and even, as it turns out, tar-flavoured ice-cream.
If you can say everything with one word, you shouldn't use any more.
Yoghurt is useless.
It can be impossible to tell if everyone is just bored or simply being Finnish.
The difference between a Finnish wedding and a Finnish funeral is that at a funeral there's one person not having vodka.
We're born with infinite possibilities, only to give up on one after another. To choose one thing means to give up on another. That's inevitable. But what can you do? That's what it is to live.
Decisions are made by those who show up.
I need a hundred pounds of magnetic putty.
That's the thing about telling someone your own story. You don't see yourself as the hero. You see the people you love and admire as the heroes.
People will stare. Make it worth their while.
Watch the clouds. You will see the shockwave there.
Everything is a copy of a copy of a copy.
Cemeteries are meant to be visited. Unless the cemetery is serving the community as a positive, useful, fun, or informative place, it's going to get abandoned, run-down, overgrown, or forgotten.
The best and most important blog we discovered this week places octopuses on the heads of United States vice-presidents. All of them.
I often forget that superheroes are supposed to be these hyper-masculine male fantasies because I spend so much time talking about their emotional vulnerabilities and imagining them in lacy thongs.
If a character has curves, make sure to specify that they are all in the right places. Otherwise, readers will be confused.
Such a waste of talent. He chose money over power. In this town, a mistake nearly everyone makes. Money is the Mc-Mansion in Sarasota that starts falling apart after 10 years. Power is the old stone building that stands for centuries. I cannot respect someone who doesn't see the difference.
I shivered in terror at the sound of the monster's laugh only to realize I was the one laughing.
What kind of dumbarse sister of mine can't find a use for a hundred lace masks?
If you are a vegan, great! Tell me and I will never serve you meat and/or try to question you about it. But if you ever, ever tell me that I'm a killer or try to make me feel bad for eating meat, I will eat you.
The innocent have everything to fear - mostly from the guilty, but in the longer term, even more from those who say things like 'The innocent have nothing to fear'.
This movie is in English, and the actors are clearly visible.
Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
We've left no room to acknowledge our dark side. Dark sides are important. They should be nurtured like nasty black orchids.
Here is the non-fiction story. I make my rapist breakfast. I compartmentalise. I move on. Eventually, years later, I eat eggs again.
This is it. This is the pinnacle of nerdom. This is the greatest height of nerdery that has ever been reached before. Never will such levels of pure fucking nerd ever be seen again, it's just not possible.
You look at people and you see puzzles. I see games. You? You're a game I'll win every time.
It is a glorious thing, but it is still a possession. You are my sister. And all the gifts from the gods that have ever been aren't worth a strand of your hair.
I think of every reason there is to live. Mothers, and sisters, and gorillas, and cake. Flying.
There's just something about an anatomically correct rubber suit that puts fire in a girl's lips.
I fought the war, but the war won.
We support women so long as they do everything we say and they don't think for themselves.
Tragedy blows through your life like a tornado, uprooting everything. Creating chaos. You wait for the dust to settle and then you choose. You can live in the wreckage and pretend it's still the mansion you remember, or you can crawl from the rubble and slowly rebuild.
Welcome to whatever this is.
There is a thin semantic line separating weird from beautiful and that line is covered in jellyfish.
Characters that could easily go bad who get up every day choosing to be good will always be more important to me than inherently good ones.
If it doesn't go bang when you put it in a supercollider, it's probably bollocks.
I didn't want to vote in that RfA, but the opposes are just ridiculous.
He has no eyebrows, except on saturdays.
I need context. So many questions. Why a kitten? Why his pants? Why?
British cheese is better than its reputation suggests, if you know where to look. However British cheeses are difficult to distinguish from British breeds of pig.
You are not free until you have no need to impress anybody.
Beware of artists. They mix with all classes of society and are therefore the most dangerous.
I literally have zero idea how to show affection for people. Like hey, I like being your friend... let me headbutt you... and make some... I don't know, screeching noises?
I know when I'm being lied to, Bob. It's like when I look at myself in the mirror and say 'It's going to be okay.'
Listen, you're my children, and I love you. But you're all terrible.
The difference between doing science and making a mess is that with science, you write down what happened, and do it again.
I pray to myself, for myself.
I'm very bad at keeping still for pictures. I always end up dancing.
Some people will always need help. That doesn't mean they're not worth helping.
I can't decide if this is an awesome amount of poof or just ridiculous.
Who honors those we love for the very life we live? Who sends monsters to kill us, and at the same time sings that we will never die? Who teaches us what's real and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live and what we'll die to defend? Who chains us? And Who holds the key that can set us free... It's You.
We can deny our angels exist, convince ourselves they can't be real, but they show up anyway, at strange places, and at strange times. They can speak through any character we can imagine. They'll shout through demons if they have to, daring us. Challenging us to fight.
Being loved by young people is overrated. Being feared by young people is priceless.
I don't drink alcohol for religious reasons. I drink it for other reasons.
It seems that in Finland bacon is considered as a vegetable.
One woman sat near the steamer and in silence she threw scoopful of water to the sauna stove. No-one said a word. The only sound was water hitting on a stove. It was not awkward nor uncomfortable. The only feeling I had was the feeling I could call calm melancholy or longing. For me it was the essence of being a Finn. Sitting in a small room, naked, with people you've never met before but yet you're completely comfortable because you know you're all in that room only for yourselves. In that room, rushful weekday separates from free time, afternoon separates from evening, it's a place between restlessness and peace. Where you literally sweat your worries, pain and rush away.
It is absolutely prohibited to shit on the floor.
Nanomachines, son.
If the snake attacks prematurely it's obviously better to defeat it and get back to the rest of your defense as quickly as possible.
I have decided to put a stop to this erratic behaviour before I get deported to Sweden. I'm very sorry.
Who needs magic when all your problems can be solved with guns?
Your sample sizes are small, your standard deviations are high, your conclusion means nothing, and you should feel bad.
The future is here and it's horrible.
Larval forms of fairies are horrifyingly evil.
If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.
It doesn't even walk, it galumphs. There is literally no other word for what this precious moss potato is doing.
He is better than anyone else I know at taking a Victorian story, translating it into the 21st century, and making it more sexist than the original in the process. That's a pretty impressively abject feat.
Glitter is not glitter. It has never been glitter. It is thousands of tiny, shimmering demons which grasp tight to all surfaces for fear of the winds of change. They are probably harmless.
I'm not like most girls. I'm like all girls. I am the alpha girl and the omega girl. I have many faces, and I am called by many names, not all of which are audible to human ears. I contain multitudes. I am legion. All shall be assimilated.
Would you like to see a shrimp on a running machine?
Confuse, don't abuse.
Stop playing the victim. That's not even a real instrument.
It is healthy to be full of shit.
I am not here to look pretty for you, or tell you how sad my life is, or how me wearing makeup is the root of several self-esteem issues. I am here to please myself and if that's wearing thirty different colors on my eyelids then so be it.
We all like to congregate at boundary conditions. Where land meets water. Where earth meets air. Where body meets mind. Where space meets time. We like to be on one side, and look at the other.
Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke.
I wanted to be this cool magic valkyrie and then I realized I could dual wield whips and everything kinda went downhill from there.
Teenagers aren't rated Teen.
So we taped a devil's trap on my friend's floor as a joke and now I'm stuck. Send help.
Finally, we're using robots just to frighten and confuse small children. Our destiny as a species has been realized.
The writer's job is to get the main character up a tree, and then once they are up there, throw rocks at them.
In the dystopian future, full length shirts are a sign of weakness.
They're not women's clothes. They're my clothes. I bought them.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
This is the first time we've ever 'emailed' hardware to space.
This is the person your algebra problems warned you about.
You don't need to perch on everything and everyone. Really. Promise. Just let yourself be carried. It's not going to hurt your dignity. You don't have any.
When I die, bury me face down so the whole world can kiss my ass.
We the unwilling, led by the unqualified, to kill the unfortunate, die for the ungrateful.
My work ethic: I get work done, it just takes a long time because I forget what I'm supposed to be doing and I dilly dally and waste time. To be fair, I am technically on vacation right now.
Unlike Ron, I know what I've done - I was secretly Voldemort, and she's cranky because SHE'S not Voldemort.
Pedro is incapable of 'bullying' Erik. Erik has all the cards, he can desysop Pedro, delete his account, make him disappear and has already given the community the finger in saying there is nothing we can do about it. What can Pedro do? Talk?
It's a large creature with scales, it's a man-eater, and though it doesn't actually breathe fire, it does have the worst breath of any creature known to man.
If life gives you melons, you might have dyslexia.
Prototype hardware is like an archaeological find. You can't find anything on the internet about it and yet it is very important in history.
FFOS is like Android on crack... and not in a good way.
I spend too much time raiding windmills. We go side-by-side and laugh until it's right.
The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate. So it goes. Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.
Nobody wants to get in a fight with an LGBT feminist in a wheelchair about these ideas, so they take the extremely sexist step of assigning my words to a man.
I can't tell if this is seriously art or if it's just tongue in cheek sarcastic art or if it's post-ironic ironic art, or ironic art, or literally just a joke, and that is so not okay.
The world could burn for all I care. But you know what? At least I am honest with myself and I own what I say and do so with no shame or cheap attempts to delude myself and others into thinking I am some fighter of the people.
The spider on the porch is called Frank. Be nice to Frank; he guards the tomatoes.
Every act of perception is to some degree an act of creation, and every act of memory is to some degree an act of imagination.
I'm here to eat your cheese and ruin everyone's night, and I don't see any more cheese.
If you're ever feeling lazy, just remember that the ancient Greeks believed their gods lived on top of a very climbable hill, but no one even bothered to check.
We can never be Gods, after all - but we can become something less than human with frightening ease.
At the deepest level people are madder than they want to believe. You will find that they fear being eaten, and are alarmed by their desire to devour others.
Good books make you ask questions. Bad readers want everything answered.
Lost my muchness, have I?
Philosophy becomes tortured thinking. Thinking that devours itself — and continues intact and even flourishes, in spite (or perhaps because) of the repeated acts of self-cannibalism. In the passion play of thought, the thinker plays the roles of both protagonist and antagonist. He is both suffering Prometheus and the remorseless eagle who consumes his perpetually regenerated entrails.
To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking.
This definitely happened. The assault rifle also had a trench-coat concealing two pistols.
When a website like this is free, you're not the customer. You're the product.
I crave a world of gorgeous and gigantic mystery, splendour, and terror, in which reigns no limitation save that of the untrammelled imagination.
No art is possible without a dance with death.
And you're amoral, because morality isn't moral anymore.
Your handwriting. The way you walk. Which china pattern you choose. It's all giving you away. Everything you do shows your hand. Everything is a self-portrait. Everything is a diary.
To let fact checking define the narrative would be a huge mistake.
What's next, pizza delivery hitmen?
It's funny how the colors of the real world only seem really real when you viddy them on the screen.
Being Alpha lemur is lonely.
Literature is the most agreeable way of ignoring life.
Robots are starting to break the law and nobody knows what to do about it.
He wears a mask, and his face grows to fit it.
The lack of public communication is not an oversight. It's planned, and we are on schedule.
Don't be so vain to think that you ruined me, that you wrecked me, destroyed me. I am the only one who has the power to do that.
When you want to help people, you tell them the truth. When you want to help yourself, you tell them what they want to hear.
Just literally cant or dont. Might help you out. Be careful while you literally cannot however. Too much cant or dont evens can literally kill you if you literally cannot even dont or cant.
You don't judge a movement by its extremists, you judge a movement for how it handles its extremists.
We are dancing in the hollow of nothingness. We are one flesh, but separated like stars.
You find my words dark. Darkness is in our souls, do you not think?
And then you have the image of a whale swimming through the woods. It is the most normal thing, slow, serene, and dark, unexplained. Simply a thing that happens.
I am a demon to some, an angel to others.
The bullet we're running from is almost never the one that hits us.
Why does the mind do such things? Turn on us, rend us, dig the claws in. If you get hungry enough, they say, you start eating your own heart. Maybe it's much the same.
Some days are good... and some days you just feel like the only dog at a llama orgy.
People with dark souls have nothing but dark dreams. People with really dark souls do nothing but dream.
I don't do drugs. I am drugs.
In spite of language, in spite of intelligence and intuition and sympathy, one can never really communicate anything to anybody. The essential substance of every thought and feeling remains incommunicable, locked up in the impenetrable strong-room of the individual soul and body. Our life is a sentence of perpetual solitary confinement.
What I hate is ignorance, smallness of imagination, the eye that sees no farther than its own lashes. All things are possible. Who you are is limited only by who you think you are.
You don't need more girls. You don't need more anything other than people who are qualified who earned their positions based on merit and hard work. Not their vaginas.
Having evidence that actually supports your hypothesis is for losers.
Stars crisp between her teeth, moonlight numbing her lips, she wanted to taste galaxies that night.
In battered neon lights our names are written, like stars, but less.
Stars not where they seemed or were calculated to be, but nobody need worry.
Thin privilege is not burning down a building when you die.
Hypermasculinity is a limiting narrative. I wish I had skills outside of fighting; that's why I'm angry and that's why I keep on fighting!
Psychology is hate, at least as it is practised in western culture.
Being offended means nothing. There's no more worthless sentence than 'I'm offended'. It means absolutely nothing.
I understand now that boundaries between noise and sound are conventions. All boundaries are conventions, waiting to be transcended. One may transcend any convention if only one can first conceive of doing so.
This idea that the whole world is wired together is mass death. Every biologist knows that small groups in isolation evolve fastest. You put a thousand birds on an ocean island and they'll evolve very fast. You put ten thousand on a big continent, and their evolution slows down. Now, for our own species, evolution occurs mostly through our behaviour. We innovate new behaviour to adapt. And everybody on earth knows that innovation only occurs in small groups. Put three people on a committee and they may get something done. Ten people, and it gets harder. Thirty people, and nothing happens. Thirty million, it becomes impossible.
People worry about losing species diversity in the rain forest. But what about intellectual diversity - our most necessary resource? That's disappearing faster than trees. But we haven't figured that out, so now we're planning to put five billion people together in cyberspace.
My time's not really worth much because I'm immortal.
WMF employees aren't even allowed to visit Commons while at work..
She's the pot calling the kettle black without realizing that the kettle is actually her own reflection in a mirror.
Please understand, sometimes I can't choose what I work on. I can't follow through on a line of thinking just because I want to or because it's needed. I have to work on what's in my head, and right now this is what's in my head.
Look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see, and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious.
Don't tread on memes.
But what was the point of living so quietly you made no noise at all?
Most of our world is rubbish. It's difficult.
Nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry. All that blood was never once beautiful. It was just red.
You had to kill him. The boy cries you a sweater of tears... and you kill him. How are you going to live with yourself?
The safest course was actually the simplest - do nothing at all and hope everything turned out for the best. It wasn't a great plan, but it had the benefits of simplicity and a long tradition.
We expected to banish paper, but instead we banished thought.
The planet has survived everything in its time. It will survive us.
Take the universe and grind it down to the finest powder and sieve it through the finest sieve and then show me one atom of justice, one molecule of mercy. And yet you act as if there is some ideal order in the world, as if there is some... some rightness in the universe by which it may be judged.
It's illegal for you to prove that I'm not immortal.
Art is how we decorate space; music is how we decorate time.
We've found a dick joke that the ladies can sympathise with. And here we were, living in blissful ignorance, thinking no dick joke would ever connect with them.
My want has burning fingers; you are the first person not to ask me to put out all my light.
I cannot tell you how fantastic it feels to be allowed to burn after years of being given fire extinguishers as birthday presents.
My want has burning fingers; you are the first person not to ask me to put out all my light.
I told him that I read his entire dissertation and he told me I may be the only person who has ever done that.
The scariest thing about gamergate is that it's turned facebook and youtube comments into a fairly intelligent place. Just let that sink in for a bit.
We value our ignorance of what is to come.
If you believe in freedom of speech, you believe in freedom of speech for views you don't like. Goebbels was in favor of freedom of speech for views he liked. So was Stalin.
The very threads of existence must be torn asunder, then burned, then the ashes scattered, until all is nothing and no one exists to remember existence.
There seems to be a loophole in our culture where you are allowed to be vile, as long as it's to the 'right' people.
There is almost no such thing as a bad tactic, only bad targets.
As a rule of thumb, you should probably disregard the opinions of any grown adult who uses 'gross' as an adjective to describe something they disapprove of.
They are 'progressive' only if the destination lies off a cliff.
Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing.
It just feels like half of these people are crusaders because they need an excuse to do terrible things.
It is a game about yelling at dragons. Literally.
Her husband was a crackhead, and her boyfriend's a serial killer. It's kind of hard not to take that personally.
Fundies - communists, feminists, muslims - don't like cartoons or jokes. They are good at destroying stuff, though.
I feel like a doormat. Can it be love?
Comparing useless metrics to uncertain metrics is quite sure to produce garbage.
align: 'inline' is a lie we tell our children at night.
Is there anything that the octopus hasn't destroyed?
Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.
Things only make sense in context. Take away that context, and all you have is a mad jumble of nonsense.
I love listening to reasonable women reason. It may be mental illness, or a lost memory of a lilac-scented day and a Brahms concerto, but I find it pleasing to the senses.
When reasonable women reason with reasonable men, there can be a kind of transparency often absent from reasonable men reasoning with other reasonable men. In the latter situation, for completely natural reasons, the reasoning can take on an aggressive edge that blurs the very reason reasonable people like to lay claim to.
You can't ticket me, I'm not a car!
It's human in that it's run by humans; there's no requirement that you be human to get in.
Dead guy is dead.
There are times when the mind is dealt such a blow it hides itself in insanity. There are times when reality is nothing but pain, and to escape that pain, the mind must leave reality behind.
Remember to pay your butter tax.
Science - not this, but real science - is discovery. It's not invention. The truths are there whether we find them or not.
The sports team from my area is superior to the sports team from your area.
Sitting in judgement does not come naturally to reasonable men.
You shouldn't worry. Everything will be fine. Yes, there is a skull suspended in blackness that is always floating behind you, but you can't just assume that's a bad thing.
Godzilla, covered in lettuce, stands beguiled.
While I am personally glad that we met... I feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing.
Wikipedians aren't designers. They're writers. Their idea of designing a workflow is making you read a manual.
You are not the light of my life, making you happy isn't my greatest dream, your smile is not all I live for. I've got my own stuff going on. But you're strange and fascinating and I've never met anyone like you. I want to give you everything just to see what you would do with it.
Such are my daydreams.
There are only so many horny birds you can laugh at.
The sports teams were sportsing really hard.
If you find that your logic gives you contradictory results, then you probably started out wrong. Go back and re-examine the assumptions you started out with, and you'll find that one is wrong.
I acknowledge that this house has had a renovation, but given that it's a stupid-ass renovation, I've elected to ignore it.
You were almost there. Almost free from what you fear. You could have been cured, you could have forgotten.
Those who do not want to imitate anything produce nothing.
They call me observant. That's not particularly true. People are so easy to read - we bleed emotions even in the way we drink our coffee. No one seems to notice though. They're all too busy drinking their own damn coffee.
But remember, there are two ways to dehumanize someone: by dismissing them, and by idolizing them.
What makes you think human beings are sentient and aware? There's no evidence for it. Human beings never think for themselves, they find it too uncomfortable. For the most part, members of our species simply repeat what they are told - and become upset if they are exposed to any different view. The characteristic human trait is not awareness but conformity, and the characteristic result is religious warfare.
Entertainment has nothing to do with reality. Entertainment is antithetical to reality.
I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.
Human beings are so destructive. I sometimes think we are a kind of plague that will scrub the earth clean. We destroy things so well that I sometimes think maybe that's our function.
All major changes are like death. You can't see the other side until you are there.
Insanity is relative. It depends on who has whom locked in what cage.
We now live in a nation where doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, universities destroy knowledge, governments destroy freedom, the press destroys information, religion destroys morals, and our banks destroy the economy.
Evil turns upon itself; Good redeems its own.
Any new fact or insight that I may have found has not seemed to me as a 'discovery' of mine, but rather something that has always been there and that I had chanced to pick up.
You just have to trust your own madness.
I want a real happening to happen before I die.
Behead those who say Islam is violent.
They evolved organically and then proceeded to shit on themselves.
Why turn the vampire into fire when you could turn him into a lawn chair?
Thanks, Wikipedia. I knew I could count on you to give me an explanation that means absolutely nothing to a normal person.
Or bees. Could be space bees. It never is, but it could be. Bees.

The List

Random

Huh?

randomlist