Madness string 95639

Random mermaid
He has missed major life events because he had to mow his lawn. That's not a metaphor. He didn't attend his son's wedding because of his lawn. Family vacations were delayed or cut short because he had to cut his grass. We moved to be near them. Every weekend, without fail, we would invite them to go with us to the beach or a theme park or dinner... and he always declined. Because he had to mow his lawn.

The Onion told us and we didn't listen.