Though generally it's gonna be a warlock that convinces all the ladies that he has a magical healing dong, I'll give you that.
Madness string 84184
If scientists got paid more and management types knew how to plan work more efficiently, we'd cure fucking everything. But we aren't paid enough and management doesn't care as long as they get paid to sit around. So bench scientists just fart around finishing projects here and there, sometimes making a mad dash at the last possible minute to get data for a deadline, but mostly just surfing the web and drinking coffee.