Madness string 19193

Random mermaid
To someone who only knows how to dig with a spoon, the notion of digging something as large as a trench will terrify them. All they know are spoons, so as far as they're concerned, digging is simply difficult. The only way they can imagine it getting any easier is if they change – digging with a spoon until they get stronger, faster, and tougher. And the dangerous people, they'll actually try this.

You're mourning not so much your mom but the mom you should've had and the family life and stability she should've provided and didn't. She dumped all of you, elder sister included, for her addiction instead of being the mom she should've been.