I admit it is entirely a parody of Dale Carnegie's work, up to the introduction by Thomas Lowell. Carnegie's was by Lowell Thomas.
Madness string 93161
How do we even know that shit isn't still around? Lurking? Evolving? We don't. We don't know shit about shit down there. The ocean is a primeval hellscape nightmare and we all just dip our stupid fragile unprotected fetus bodies around the edges of it like that's normal. Fuck the ocean.