Whenever you need a professional ass to tell people to fuck 'emselves with a cactus or some such, you know where to find me.
Madness string 82525
There's a lemon species occasionally known as 'Bhudda's palm' that has long tentacle fingers, and now I'm just imagining some dude getting ready to rail his ladyfriend old school style and a mutant citrus grabs his dick upon insertion.