I'm looking at her right now, and she's rolling around in her little bed, looking all sweet and cute, but the minute you try to rub her, she slaps you. We thought she was in pain and took her to the vet and he said: 'No, this cat is just a jerk'.
You might want to consider upgrading your boyfriend. This one seems... faulty.
Madness string 86780
Hope is the best spice to bring out despair.