Madness string 111930

Random mermaid
I'm still haunted by whether it was the right choice, and if he'd have made a recovery, and if we were right to listen to the nurse who begged us to end his life. In the end, I have to believe that the person that likely spent more time with him than anyone (certainly more than the doctors) would have known what someone in pain looks like. Especially if they work in the ICU. I just wonder if he would have really remembered it if he would have made a recovery. It was hard seeing someone in so much pain, and even harder making that awful choice.

I'm strong and I hate that I am. I'm strong because I wouldn't have survived the abuse if I wasn't. I'm strong because I've largely been taking care of myself since I was 7 years old. I'm so strong that when someone tries to take care of me, I physically recoil and don't know how to respond. It sucks and I'm actively working with my therapist to allow weak moments back into my life. Being 'strong' is almost never a good thing.