He lives with one foot in his mouth, and the other in the Twilight Zone.
Madness string 21744
You're the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
Never underestimate what poor hiring practices and a lack of training can do. Way back, I worked at a grocery store and my coworker called me over to help him because he couldn't get an item to scan. It was a potato. Not a potato with a barcode sticker, or in a wrapper or anything like that. Just a fresh, raw, skin-on potato, and he was waving it back and forth over the scanner, completely confounded that nothing was happening.