If you're going to be a rules lawyer, at least don't be blatantly wrong.
Madness string 111770
There should be no shame in being an Upham, as most of us haven't been trained in the ways of war. And to quote the average Martha Stewart, 'that is a good thing'.
Don't worry about them catching on or whatever. I've found that people being too dumb for their own good is one of the few things you can always count on.