Old manuscript discovered - Historians say 'Ooh, nifty!'
Madness string 95893
He couldn't figure out how to flush the toilet but mentally knew it was supposed to be clean when you leave, so he'd take his poop from the toilet, wrap it in paper and throw it in the trash. Dementia is horrible.
I extend greetings to you at the start of this Year of the Justifiably Defensive Lobster. May this year meet or even exceed our diminished expectations.