My fake condolences for the fake loss of your fake wife. What a fake tragedy.
Madness string 96057
At thirteen, my brother offered me some cake and I started crying. I will never forget the look of total confusion on his face.
Every Halloween, my mom would send me to the dead pile to get bones to scatter around the yard for decorations. I never really realized it was weird that we had things called 'dead piles', but there you go.