My brother had a dog named Faucet. She drooled a lot.
Madness string 99409
That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.
If you publish a fucking novel and can't even surpass a fanfic of cartoon horses in quality, just don't publish at all.