Nothing earns you geek points like installing Linux on a dead badger.
There is no such thing as fiction, only non-fiction set in the wrong universe.
Madness string 1047
This is the most batshit insane way to commit child abuse I have ever encountered. Way to go dad for not only failing to engage in any kind of productive communication with your children but also to shirk your responsibility for punishment onto some dude with a clown costume.