Madness string 93496

Random mermaid
You ever know anybody who's just too nice? Then you realize it's annoying because they remind you of what you're not, that you'll never be as good as they are. And then you think, why can't I? And before you know it, that naive idiot you laughed at has made you a better person.

All cashiers are dead inside. You could put a live eel on the belt and the best you'd get is the mild exasperation brought about by the damn thing not having a barcode.