I'm afraid you'll never get home. Your knuckles will bleach on the prairie, and mum and dad will cry till they drown, and there'll be nothing left at all, and later the hyenas will howl over the whole thing.
Madness string 1237
And you knew what you were doing the whole time, but you did it anyways. Your regret for doing it does not negate the fact that you abused her, and I'd be baffled that you thought you could fix it, except that every abuser downplays the severity of their actions.