When you look like me you learn not to piss off orders of holy knights.
Madness string 122547
Anyway, let me be clear that, when this story is inevitably submitted as evidence at my sanity hearing, this was merely a very vivid and detailed, yet entirely hypothetical, contemplation on how many things in life are like pumpkins.
An Amiable Dowager has converted a wing of her manor into an orphanage. She's looking for donations. Of clothes, not orphans.