There's a lemon species occasionally known as 'Bhudda's palm' that has long tentacle fingers, and now I'm just imagining some dude getting ready to rail his ladyfriend old school style and a mutant citrus grabs his dick upon insertion.
You're the opposite of a fair-weather friend. You're a... shit-weather friend.
Madness string 98375
Did I mention I named the software 'mongoose'? What, you thought I was wrestling with a real, physical animal? Please... I've lost fingers to bumblebees before. Granted, they were really big bumblebees...