You need to go to their world. If they could come to your world, they would.
Madness string 105772
Something that I think is super important to keep in mind is that every person has trusted their abuser at one point. Having a secret fund doesn't mean they don't trust you. It just means they're trying to protect themselves if something goes wrong.
The spider on the porch is called Frank. Be nice to Frank; he guards the tomatoes.