Madness string 93117

Random mermaid
Behold the true treasure, a perfectly cylindrical cob that has surely passed, not through a corn hole, nor a tube hole, but an interdimensional wormhole carrying a cryptic message from the future. Just look how round it is. Only future things are so round.
He has missed major life events because he had to mow his lawn. That's not a metaphor. He didn't attend his son's wedding because of his lawn. Family vacations were delayed or cut short because he had to cut his grass. We moved to be near them. Every weekend, without fail, we would invite them to go with us to the beach or a theme park or dinner... and he always declined. Because he had to mow his lawn.