We spent three months debugging it because we only had one month to build it.
Doing something because it's how it's always been done is a terrible reason to keep doing something. Humans evolve, learn, grow. Traditions can be fine, as long as they don't hurt people. And it sounds like Charlotte is being hurt, and your wife's insistence is hurting her relationship with her daughter. In her attempt to show a united front, she is dividing her own family.