Madness string 82177

Random mermaid
Hey Commonwealth Bank, how about you service your fucking ATMs in Bunbury so punters like me will not have to tape fish to them so you'll have no choice but to come and fix them. I have more fish and tape and willpower than your entire organisation. FIX THEM NOW.

Wikipedia is the art of making up a convincing argument that arrives at the same ultimate goal as your actual reasons which for one reason or another you shouldn't make public.