The statue of Zeus at Olympia was not destroyed in the 5th century A.D., it just walked into the ocean hidden from humanity until it somehow got an internet connection and started posting about fighting with your dick out.
Impromptu dissection was performed under less-than-optimal lighting conditions.
Madness string 82865
The god is old, and nothing gets that old without shadows on it. And he throws such a bright light that you can pick out all the shadows, little spiderweb flaws crazing the light.