Madness string 112822

Random mermaid
Having worked at a Pizza Ranch, we had daily regulars. Why... Why... The pizza was terrible. We could only keep it on the buffet for 15 minutes because the cheese would congeal into this hard, unappetizing sheet. The cheese came in boxes with huge labels that said '50% Real Cheese!' The sauce was also flavorless, and the crust, while made in-house daily, was also somehow flavorless. The fried chicken and mashed potatoes were decent though.

A convincing Aussie accent is many things, but I don't know if I'd call it proper English. Depends on where you fall on the Yob - Wanker scale I suppose.