This would definitely be less funny if everything just... worked.
Madness string 111409
I always have bread in my freezer. I also have the stuff to make biscuits and gravy on hand. When I say there is no food in my house, what I am saying is there is no food I want to eat in my house.
We're gonna have to retire the expression 'avoid it like the plague' because it turns out humans do not do that.