Not just that. It's realizing your family member isn't there anymore, even though they are sitting, living and breathing, in front of you.
Madness string 111866
I was watching the water at night. They say it draws you in, and it really does. You look at this pitch-black void, with only the wake or turbulence of the water catching light, and intrusive thoughts of jumping in just naturally occur. It's mesmerizing, especially if you're alone.