Madness string 111894

Random mermaid
He knows exactly why I don't want him my life, and it has been reaffirmed to him that he needs to stay away. I don't want a bond with him. He will never be able to fix the situation, I have exactly zero positive feelings about him, and he has nothing I want or need anymore. He's effectively already dead as far as I'm concerned, and I don't do necromancy.

I decided long ago that I would rather feel nothing ever again than feel the bottomless despair of PTSD and clinical depression. But in exchange for taking the pain away, you never get to experience pleasure again. It's like some fucking cautionary tale from a Greek myth.