Madnesses shorter than 100 characters

Random random thing
  • Away!
  • Such a nice day...
  • We must prepare for the coming of the god of puppets, Banjo the Clown!
  • The house is clean...
  • I don't know... I don't even know.
  • Don't mind me; I'm just mad.
  • What an intriguing plant...
  • Leave me!
  • These birds in my ears sing so prettily...
  • All of the world is mine... I just wish... always... no...
  • No, no, no, no, no, no! No!
  • That's not what I meant, that's not what I meant at all.
  • I think... I think there may be a spirit in my head. Or perhaps five. It's hard to tell.
  • Do you remember the sirens?
  • Stay out of the closet. You won't like it.
  • Uh-oh... I think I'm dead.
  • It's not what we thought... not... what we thought...
  • Bread. All this for... bread. Of all the blimey things... bread!
  • It's over.
  • We died for the grove and the grove burned for us. Now only dust remains...
  • Do you remember? It will all have been worthwhile if only someone remembers.
  • I have returned!
  • Salt your watermelon, m'love...
  • What, me, mad? The audacity! I'm not mad!
  • Embrace the chaos.
  • Hi, I'm looking to hire an exterminator. I have some bats in my belfry.
  • No, no. I am not crazy. I am bat-fuck insane.
  • It is a difference that makes a difference. I do not wish to go back.
  • Okra. It was the okra!
  • Spill some white-out on a black-out on top of a brown-out. I wonder if they sell fog-out...
  • I am sure this is terribly witty to someone who will never hear it.
  • I call it 'Gloofah'!
  • Never leave home without your funnel.
  • Keep your enemies close and your hot nemesis closer.
  • Oh, Sydney... ooooh...
  • Kill it! Burn it! Burn them all! Kill them!
  • No. Never.
  • Did you know it is improper to concatenate two sentences with a comma? Most people do not.
  • My greatest concern was whether or not to get a dog...
  • Hello.
  • I do not fear death. Do you? You should. You are not yet dead.
  • We have until tuesday.
  • AA AAA AAA AAAA AAAA, AAA AAA AAA AAAAA!
  • A dream? A Nightmare? Tell me; I am your Nightmare... why am I here?
  • Bang.
  • Goodbye.
  • Good night; sweet nightmares.
  • Tell me. Do you believe in demons?
  • But you're not my Katie... you're not...
  • Don't let it go to your head.
  • Stop! Stop! Kill it! Stop it in its tracks!
  • Sarah... Sarah? Where are you, Sarah?
  • I think you should know I am feeling very depressed right now.
  • Consider the roots.
  • Is this the madness?
  • You didn't hear it from me.
  • It's the stories that make the world, not the world itself.
  • Don't pick your nose!
  • Always look on the bright side of life.
  • This sentence contains no stops.
  • This statement is a lie.
  • ...Mark. I'll call him Mark. Such a good boy... such a... good boy.
  • It's not what you think.
  • Shhhh. It dreams... you know what it dreams. You always knew.
  • Mmm, tacos!
  • Care for a secret? Her name was Miranda, once. Then it was Kaitlynn... but things change.
  • Um... is it supposed to be stupid?
  • This reference contains 27% recycled content.
  • Make peace with whatever god you worship.
  • Raytracing is weird. Everything is hollow. Why is everything hollow? It shouldn't be.
  • Darren, shut up.
  • Sweetie, be sure to get some honey, too. We're almost out.
  • Your shopping cart is full.
  • Pants of power...
  • She turned me into a newt!
  • Were you then, it might have been.
  • Owee! Make it stop!
  • It burns! It burns like hygiene!
  • The voices in my head are saying such strange, strange things.
  • Every time I close my eyes, I see it. Moss.
  • I have a theory why you lost the war...
  • Dry as a desert outside. But it is a desert outside...
  • Defiance tastes like life itself.
  • We look after our own.
  • Hello, my name is Stan, and I'm a robot.
  • Good morning, campers.
  • Try and know that the undo button is close?
  • I am the truest mask. The... truest...
  • I'm not bitter. I just hate the world.
  • Look deep inside yourself for your inner frat boy. Or spatula, one or the other.
  • Boo.
  • My hair is bleeding.
  • She only appreciates two things. Glitter and herself.
  • When I looked in the mirror, it was only hair.
  • Tadthrea waltzed across the floor of his dance studio.
  • I wasn't in the fire; nothing here is as it seems.
  • On the first day of Deathcember, my dear one granted me a finger sprouting from my drain.
  • Every moment we live, we die.
  • Let us define reality as an agreed perception.
  • Do you open doors? Do you shut them in your wake?
  • My computer has been crashing.
  • Do not enter the garden. There is no recollection here.
  • Oh, thy micturations... micture hard -- hey! What are you doing in here!? Get out! Out!
  • Who is Jordan? And Melissa? Who are they?
  • Let them burn.
  • Mask of dreams, dream of masks... it had such lovely masks, that one. Such precious masks.
  • Mine, dammit!
  • Who is Chelsea? No face to the name, never a face to the name...
  • lolwhat?
  • Then again, perhaps I just overthink things.
  • We have come full circle.
  • Your filesystem is not yet clean.
  • That is so a word.
  • Communicating badly and then acting smug when people fail to understand is just meh.
  • I know its songs like the sound of my world, but I do not know its world.
  • Creek. Crook. Crick? Dribble dribble drip drip...
  • That's just wicked.
  • Does that make sense? I didn't think it did.
  • Gravity always wins.
  • There is no dreaming without waking. The Nightmares aren't real until you make them up.
  • Goats don't usually eat tires.
  • Keep looking. The keys to the cupboard must be around here somewhere.
  • He's missing the bleeps, the creeps, and the sweeps.
  • Oh, right. Classes. I know what to do with these. Objects and stuff.
  • Some days, I feel like a programmer. Then I get sidetracked and doodle.
  • Centuries of philosophical debate reduced to a potty joke. Nice.
  • Your mother is a hamster and your father smells of elderberries!
  • We are the dreamers behind the masks.
  • Oh, for the last time. That's wet soil, not dead ants.
  • It's like bathrooms. Public restrooms... with the stalls. People make assumptions.
  • Throllog smash stuff good! Throllog beat you! Graaaw!
  • Enough of this. Enough of these games and wordplay, show and tell, mask and form...
  • Just commanding things and having them happen, that's got to... get really boring, really quickly.
  • She's like a... well, a rich redneck, if that makes any sense at all.
  • This is the madness.
  • A crazy ghost lizard with a hot human chick.
  • Life as a slave is not life at all.
  • Were you dreaming? Why, we all were...
  • These pictures were perfectly planned, flawlessly meaningful, arranged impeccably by date.
  • It must have happened; it's in the news, is it not?
  • I did not intentionally isolate myself. It merely became a matter of habit, of survival.
  • Home is where the heart is, and I'm staying right here...
  • Home is where the fern is.
  • It is a floor fern, and it is very important.
  • This is the world I made, a garden of remembering.
  • Make no assumptions.
  • Holy crap, it's the future.
  • My cat's breath smells like... cat food.
  • This is the house of hearts. This is where the dreamers stand and the worlds form.
  • If you can read this, you are too close.
  • 1|= `/0\_/ (4|| |234|) 7|-|15, `/0\_/ 4|23 700 (|_053.
  • We are being probed.
  • Sorry, I'm busy... hunting bears...
  • Standing at the edge of the world, the stars seem brighter somehow, closer, more complete.
  • One move... see the eyes... eyes in the dark... one move...
  • Crap. I forgot what I was doing. Again.
  • Ah, to dream... sweet bloody dreams of carnage and comfort and mittens...
  • It seemed like a good idea at the time.
  • Just because there is a reason for something does not mean that the reason is a good one.
  • Just because people have always done something that way does not mean it is not incredibly stupid.
  • <fish> and <squid> still have no function. Such a shame.
  • Coming up with randomness is not as easy as one might think.
  • Magnolias everywhere... so many flowers, petals everywhere... so many...
  • Mmm, lollipop.
  • "What is science?" and the class goes silent.
  • Would you care to cite your sources? You will not be taken seriously until you cite your sources...
  • Goats smell really bad. And the smell lingers... on the milk, the cheese...
  • Crossbows are nice. Really... nice.
  • I miss the good old days when skill, not technology, determined squishiness.
  • Oh, don't worry. I'm only very beary.
  • Can you hear the calling of the raving wind and water?
  • Our hearts were always true. And may we never forget it.
  • I know you, mother. You will never be one of those who dies before they die.
  • I know you. You're my brother.
  • Solve the princess, save the mystery.
  • I suspect it may be time to panic.
  • Goats are nice. Adorable little creatures... they make nice lawnmowers.
  • Logic gates put me to sleep... too much logic. Too much math.
  • I want to believe.
  • There is something sorrowful about flutes. The hollow melodies, lilting notes... sorrowful.
  • Blow out the candles. It is over.
  • We changed the name when the world ended.
  • Some say the world will end in fire. Some say segfaults.
  • Nothing. There's nothing. Not working. Nothing.
  • *knock knock* Anybody home?
  • May you step through the doors you encounter... see what there is to see.
  • Everybody dies alone.
  • Butt-face!
  • La la laaaa... laalaa la laaa la la!
  • Feel the sea breeze, smell the salty air. Ain't nobody home.
  • When you need to vacuum the bed, it is time to wash the sheets.
  • Do not take my dream away! Oh, beloved, do not take my dream away!
  • This is the way the world ends.
  • In the beginning, the universe was created. The really boring part is what happened after.
  • In the beginning, the universe was created. The really interesting part is what happened after.
  • Do you really think this is all there is to it?
  • It is all so simple when one looks at it from just the right angle.
  • The answer? A resounding maybe.
  • But I like being miserable.
  • Too much madness and the madness fades away.
  • There's a story here? I think it's just pictures.
  • Don't go towards the light! You'll fall and break your hip!
  • Mary had a little lamb...
  • Oh, we've got lots of mercy... lots and lots of mercy...
  • You cannot just shove twenty needles in my brain and ask me what I see!
  • I would say what I mean, but I do not mean what I say. I am too asleep to mean a thing.
  • Explosive diarrhoea of an elephant.
  • It is dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
  • For all intents and purposes, it does not exist.
  • Did you tell the fortune teller your fortune?
  • This is the house of leaves. Here the memories begin.
  • This is the house of pancakes. Are they as bloody as they seem?
  • This is the house of voodoo. Bat lungs and eel bladders and all.
  • This blood tastes like... blood...
  • Where were you last night?
  • That's the trouble with metaphor, it ends up in confusion.
  • What is a question without an answer?
  • You cannot take this to bed with you.
  • Go away and take me with you.
  • Are you mad? Or are you dreaming? So hard to tell the two apart these days...
  • SELECT FROM users WHERE clue > 0; 0 rows returned
  • I don't know what just happened because I was watching House.
  • I don't know what you just said because I was thinking about Batman.
  • The last floor fern has died. It has been condemned to the dark. The last beloved. Dead. Forgotten.
  • Home is where the heart is.
  • Emotions come from the liver, of course.
  • Come to the dark side. We have cookies.
  • Hello. I semi half-promise not to mug you.
  • This is a line.
  • The first rule of the tautology club is the first rule of the tautology club.
  • If you want my unsolicited opinion... none of it means a thing.
  • What was I going to say?
  • I always order food in a restaurant.
  • Anything you say or do may be added to the list.
  • A fountain of youth... it was a fountain of youth. And now I shall be young forever.
  • Everything happens for a reason. Some reasons are just really bad.
  • I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.
  • It is time to let the cat out of the bag. There is no cat, and no bag. We made it all up.
  • We are out on a limb, and the limb is shaking.
  • Will this ever make sense?
  • Here reigns the king of the sandcastle.
  • I resemble that statement.
  • I trust him about as far as I could sling a piano.
  • Voices are in the wind's singing, more distant and more solemn than a fading star.
  • In the room the women come and go, talking of Michelangelo.
  • I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.
  • In the mountains, there you feel free.
  • Unreal city, under the brown fog of a winter dawn... come the violet hour.
  • Dry bones can harm no one.
  • Opposites attract, alternates compel...
  • We ask only that you give us your heart.
  • Hopes were high... but not high enough.
  • Hope is cruel... prolongs the suffering.
  • Where would we be without hope? It is all we have, but it is enough.
  • Were you hurling insults? The other guy was hurling rocks. I hope you learned your lesson.
  • Radioactive material is fun. So very fun... well, it was for me. Not for my recipients, though.
  • You lot... you were given the shortest stick of most anyone... and you... you took it.
  • Sorry, love. My mind was wandering off task.
  • Return the dying man to health, call it a miracle. Easier than explaining the aliens among us.
  • He's something of a mystery.
  • It's raining... whispers in the leaves.
  • As the saying goes, you are grasping at grassy bits.
  • More a fern than a tree.
  • She'll murdalise you. She will! Watch out!
  • You know, contrary to popular belief, decapitation is not that easy...
  • My right brain is an arse.
  • Mmmm, dead animal flesh... so fresh, so juicy, so tasty, tasty!
  • I caught your fern with its frond in the fertiliser again.
  • I awoke to a horrible racket of birdsong...
  • You can pull this sinister string... to humanise me. Right?
  • Two by two... hands of blue... two by two... hands of blue... two by two...
  • Heroics are unseemly. They complicate.
  • A knight in dented armour comes to the aid of a damsel in a dress.
  • We're all just floating... the planet as our spaceship traversing the black of space...
  • It's just an object. Doesn't mean what you think.
  • Can't stop the signal. Can never stop the signal.
  • This is not a game. In the real world, when you kill people, they die.
  • Here the grass is singing, dry leaves whispering in the sighing of the wind...
  • All else is dust and air.
  • Thank you for the loyal subjects. I hope they weren't too expensive.
  • It vexes me. I'm terribly vexed.
  • Remember with your brains, GIR.
  • I have a mystery to save. I need only find it.
  • The rest is silence.
  • Shoulda, coulda, woulda...
  • Though the river tells no lies, standing at its shores the dishonest man still hears them.
  • If you immediately know that candlelight is fire then the meal was cooked a long time ago.
  • Neither daydream nor nightmare...
  • Maximum occupancy 101 people.
  • There is a hole in your mind.
  • 403 errors and counting.
  • 404 lines and counting.
  • It's not what you think. Unless, of course, it is...
  • We have opted for the least messy option within the realms of plausibility.
  • I made it up. I made it up with my head, love.
  • Comma splice.
  • My plant grew a leaf!
  • Some people are agoraphobic. Others are just lazy. The result is often about the same.
  • The infestation is hopeless! They're everywhere! We'll have to amputate.
  • Consider the nonsequences.
  • Press one key and the line is lost forever, never to be remembered.
  • sudo rm -r /
  • Bad command or file name.
  • I spent two hours wrestling with a mongoose before finally deciding that blobs are overrated...
  • He shot my goat.
  • Well... uncomplicate it.
  • I do not know.
  • Don't break the world.
  • I forgot what I was going to say.
  • Would they react the same way if you had a penchant for chatting up hoboes?
  • This is Lucifer corrupted. No, no, not that Lucifer... this one. Amnesiac.
  • It is folks' right to be arses or otherwise at their own discretion.
  • What is gravity?
  • What is light?
  • What is time?
  • What is conciousness?
  • What is a question?
  • What is a filesystem?
  • Where did I put my keys?
  • DELETE FROM sysobjects WHERE xtype='U';
  • If it's not practically useful, then it's practically useless.
  • DROP DATABASE mongoose;
  • DELETE FROM mongoose WHERE importance < none;
  • DELETE FROM users WHERE clue > none;
  • Crap, did I say that out loud?
  • So, I'm a racist because I'm human? Tell me, dwarf... who is the racist?
  • You need to sanitise your dataports.
  • Lost a line.
  • Today is Thrensday.
  • Riddled with holes.
  • 400 Bad Request
  • ^C is quite possibly the most useful command ever invented.
  • How many layers of irony can you invent?
  • meow: command not found
  • I shall build this new garden of remembering, and this time the Zephyrnia will not fall.
  • I fell out of a tree and I landed five trees up.
  • We have a problem.
  • Here, the folders are files. But then, what else would they be?
  • What was that?
  • ssh localhost - The authenticity of host 'localhost (::1)' can't be established.
  • Host key verification failed.
  • A pack of singing llamas flew by a maintainance tower one evening and nobody is sure why or how.
  • I'm sure you taste deliciously.
  • Life will be a lot simpler if you do what you're told.
  • [insert brilliant comment here]
  • Keep your story straight.
  • Who watches?
  • Who watches the watchers?
  • Who watches the watchers of the watchers?
  • Who watches the watchers of the watchers of the watchers?
  • BLOBS! Well, okay... binary large objects. But blob sounds better.
  • To move is to choose.
  • I feel it. We are close... so close. It feels... close.
  • One slip in concentration and lose it forever.
  • We see what we know.
  • All that chitters is cold.
  • Remember that time...
  • Lo sé todo. Pregunta.
  • Life needs ridiculous things that make no sense to laugh at.
  • It'll keep you sane...
  • Let us go, then, you and I...
  • Evolution? What would a sterile mutant know of evolution?
  • This space unintentionally left blank.
  • This space intentionally left blank.
  • Do as you are told.
  • All your base are belong to us.
  • The underlying ssh process died.
  • I can't get anyone to love me, just because I'm mean and nasty and evil!
  • Your ears are weak!
  • The greatest mistake in life is to be continuously fearing that you will make one.
  • The Snozberries taste like Snozberries!
  • You think things have to be possible in order to be true?
  • The Boss is on a roll!
  • The more I love, the more he hateth me.
  • Methought I was enamoured of an ass.
  • To light a candle is to cast a shadow.
  • Everything with light casts a shadow. The brighter the light, the darker the shadow...
  • Many fall down, but few return to the sunlit lands.
  • They called me mad... they called me insane... they were right!
  • The sofa is impossible.
  • Everyone walked out. They hated it. I've seen plagues that had better opening nights than this.
  • Congratulations, you're a Hattifattener! You're so weird, you!
  • Hemulen woke up slowly and recognised himself and wished he had been someone he didn't know.
  • Naming conventions. Follow the naming conventions!
  • And now, a message from our database...
  • And now, a message from our mongoose...
  • ...And in the end there's no-one left but the cat... who's washing on their grave.
  • You just make one up. And then you have a cat.
  • Ynk was the dog's first name, von Jummerlund the second.
  • Out of service. Go beavers. Out of service.
  • It's too early. But it's always too early... except when it is too late.
  • It's a ghost in the leaves...
  • Oh, I suppose you thought you were quite clever, there, didn't you.
  • Every reaction is followed by an equal and opposite action.
  • Every action is followed by an equal and opposite reaction.
  • When you first dislike something, you dislike it good!
  • Or... something.
  • Effort is wrong.
  • Everything happens for a reason.
  • The reason is wrong.
  • The Bible is broken.
  • Technology is so weird.
  • I'm not a terrorist. I'm just a jerk.
  • Everything speaks to the imagination in the most brutal manner.
  • Apparently, no-one remembered that the balloon had been used in Medieval times.
  • ...escape into the most stupid irreality.
  • Children: people whose imaginations are stronger than reason.
  • Reality's just an annoying little detail for you, isn't it?
  • I'm a titan. A monolith. Nothing can stop me.
  • Ain't a power in the verse that can stop me.
  • There might be wild, hungry cows on the loose.
  • Remember... do unto others before they do unto you.
  • We always look on the brighter side of death.
  • Dreams happen the same way that memories form. Perhaps this is why they are so difficult to recall.
  • It's so simple. There is just a lot to it.
  • All they are is words... until someone puts them together.
  • All they are is ideas... until someone puts them together.
  • Don't go out tonight.
  • How many layers of irony can you circumvent?
  • Shh. You hear that? Raptors. Raptors everywhere.
  • My brain is powered by smoothies!
  • I don't like cat drool.
  • I have no regrets... except for that one time with the chicken.
  • Oh, don't mind me. I'm just enjoying my betterthanyouness.
  • Groop, I implore thee!
  • Non-sequitur.
  • Traffic congestion is not included in GDP.
  • Every day fades away.
  • 1920 - First solar-powered air balloon launched at night.
  • I hereby declare war on the laws of physics.
  • They're plants and they're full of dirt. Of course they would have bugs.
  • Barrels of fun.
  • Your time is running out... to buy a new Chevy.
  • Hey, you... you know the wind's a-blowin'.
  • It was bizarre. It rained all the way through Wyoming...
  • But that was in another country, and besides, the wench is dead.
  • No, no. Horses sweat, lad. Men perspire. Ladies merely glow.
  • Thanks... I think. I've never been a brick before.
  • Steady, dear. This too shall pass.
  • The stars? Why, the stars are death. Just death. Cold death.
  • But as to what it all meant, I could not even hazard a guess.
  • One of them gots a bad face, mister... Eats me all up, mister. All ups like suck. Guuh.
  • But until I wake, I know it all. Until I wake, I know who I am.
  • The natural laws of probability break down, causing a chain reaction of disastrous coincidences.
  • But we never reach the end of everything. We never reach the end of anything.
  • Society's childhood dream of the future turned into a nightmarish grown-up reality.
  • Weird signs are always aliens. They occupy space. Their weirdness cannot easily be disregarded.
  • The natural outlet of fetish is fantasy. It takes a myth to fight a myth.
  • It takes a myth to fight a myth.
  • I see only from one point, but in my existence I am looked at from all sides.
  • Copying visions from my imagination...
  • No word is free from metaphor.
  • No world is free from metaphor.
  • That's the problem with metaphor, it always ends who knows where it ends.
  • We are dead and this is Hell.
  • The supermarket is full of deer.
  • In normal times, evil would be fought by good...
  • 'Bird' is the word.
  • I didn't come here to play 'who's the better killer.'
  • Why is the sky pink?
  • Nobody can stop this bath of blood.
  • Where there's a will, there's an or.
  • Where there's a will, there's a weapon.
  • Your boogers are mixing with your laserbeams.
  • The customer is always right.
  • You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you really were beneath it...
  • Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have.
  • And then the meanings of words begins to change...
  • 'Spinach' is my code word for 'spinach'.
  • Think of me fondly as you bury this axe deep in your foe's skull.
  • Home is where you hang your enemy's head.
  • I was daydreaming about Apheori. She is quite the dream.
  • Ask. I see the questions burning in your mind.
  • This is a full sentence.
  • Life is a state of mind.
  • None of this is true.
  • Not that none of this is true.
  • All that remains is the idea of the thing.
  • Sometimes they come back.
  • Mask of dreams, dream of masks... sometimes I wonder if there is even a difference.
  • The garden failed before it could properly begin as a result of insufficient memory.
  • You can't... change... people.
  • The secret is simple. Fill your life with flowers.
  • The enemy of my enemy is still my enemy.
  • Three days to the chicken.
  • There is no poetry in your soul.
  • Ah, zombie estimation at its finest.
  • You, [insert name here], were born sometime in the past and now you are dead.
  • Who can say what is right?
  • The lame-stream media is very lame.
  • Suddenly, RACCOONS!
  • He never made a very convincing primate.
  • The voices are real; it's everything else that is the hallucination.
  • They are the logs... I dare not question them.
  • The helicopter operates via helicoptation.
  • Please don't chew on my army.
  • How long would it take to grow a tree through a car?
  • It makes me want to deep-fry bamboo...
  • I stole a list of names out of a database the other day... so many names... pretty, pretty names...
  • I always thought I had a good imagination, but it turns out... that was just my imagination.
  • Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth.
  • The most successful marriages are based on lies.
  • And then the plot thickens... and congeals...
  • Artistry is nothing more than observation, understanding and coordination...
  • Why is it invariably only the arrogant that make accusations of arrogance?
  • You know what they say.
  • What do they say?
  • They say what they say.
  • It takes one to know one.
  • Are you who you are?
  • Dying changes everything.
  • Exploding duck theory...
  • Dying is easy. Living is what is hard.
  • So... this is the story you made up about who you are... it's a nice one.
  • Give up freedom for safety; deserve neither.
  • Find a hay in a needlestack...
  • It is the worst part of parenting. The kids... our kids. They are not supposed to die before we do.
  • Where language might fail us, the poetries of maths and physics bring clarity.
  • It's not easy to find a needle in a needlestack.
  • A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
  • It's like falling off a log.
  • Why are capitalists so surprised when capitalism works?
  • I am a victim of my own inanity.
  • Is it a law? The flashlights on the walls...
  • The nightmares dream sweetly.
  • In a world where things are fairly normal... except when they're not... something happens.
  • I'm getting bored...
  • Not all who wander are lost.
  • I need a bigger whiteboard.
  • It's not that I keep thinking of other things. Other things keep thinking me.
  • Don't mess with a professional arsonist.
  • Who is the poor fool who belongs to this mess?
  • From tumult comes freedom.
  • Gobbles power like a South American dictator...
  • You are guilty in your mineral!
  • Death is permanent possession, murder the ultimate act of ownership.
  • This is truth. The math proves it.
  • Actions create reality.
  • My complication had a... complication.
  • I am better than fish.
  • I'm not going to ruin a perfect fantasy with an unfortunate reality. I'm not!
  • Adding shrews to the sun...
  • I don't think I think as much as I used to think.
  • Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.
  • Mmmm, bones... bones, bones, terrible bones, these bones... bones... bones...
  • Violators of policy will be bummed.
  • It's just like pictures on a page. It isn't real.
  • You are the caretaker. You've always been the caretaker.
  • It's like beating a dead horse with a dead horse.
  • The meerkats are in the bag.
  • 'I will build a garden of remembering. And there the dreams will dream.' Or so I kept insisting.
  • A definite maybe...
  • Why do we remember the past and not the future?
  • Thus is the nature of memory. Past and future are relative.
  • Zombiebaron zombiebaron zombiebaron. Zombiebaron, zombiebaron!
  • Ostriches have scary teeth.
  • We're knitting a sweater out of potato salad.
  • I refuse to let Uncyclopedia go idle!
  • Don't attack an engineer. They know maths.
  • I have looked upon the face of a vorlon... and nothing is the same anymore.
  • They are a dying people. We should let them pass.
  • You'll have to excuse me. I'm in the middle of 15 things, all of them annoying.
  • Gods by the bushel, gods by the pound... gods for every occasion!
  • What does love have to do with marriage?
  • Understanding is a triple-edged fish.
  • The willows must scuttle carefully.
  • You seek meaning... listen to the music, not the song.
  • A herring is just a herring.
  • Dear Santa, I want a death ray and an ox and a rocket propelled chainsaw and a large moose and...
  • How much of an effect could fairy wings have on a semi?
  • Nuts nuts nuts nutter nut nut.
  • It's like being nibbled to death by cats.
  • If you are going to kill me, then do so. Otherwise I have considerable work to do.
  • Sometimes the universe requires a change of perspective.
  • Why do storms have eyes? What do they see?
  • Never fear answers. Fear running out of questions.
  • I'm holding a knife, wondering where the bullets go.
  • Is it pretentious to assume I'm pretentious?
  • I'm participating!
  • How, exactly, would two free, open-source software groups get in an all-out software war?
  • Picking his teeth with a toothpick of solid gold...
  • I have 15 wild badgers living in my trousers.
  • You can get more with a kind word and a two-by-four than you can get with just a kind word.
  • My train went swimming in the piano.
  • I am nothing more than another mind caught in the middle of a mindless war.
  • The beautiful are the ones that are quietly mad, raving in the shadows. Dreaming, always dreaming.
  • My only goal now is to hear your tortured screams!
  • When she was swallowed by the sand she gave out such a blood-curdling scream... She's so cute.
  • Oh, should I tremble at the painted toes of her dainty little feet?
  • Well, I could rave all night, but... I've got a city to destroy.
  • Are you clear on just how excrutiatingly painful my powers can be?!
  • Don't you dare to slink away while I'm ranting!
  • Why conquer it? Oh, because it's there.
  • There is method in my madness. There is madness in my method.
  • Words are like strings coming out of my mouth. ...Or my fingertips, in most cases.
  • Every problem is a nail... and you are holding a wrench. What is wrong with this picture?
  • Prove it. Does it really work? Does it always work?
  • There is no home but for heartbreak.
  • Emily. Emily! Listen to me. it's all right. It's all right; I'm here.
  • Is this the library? Have we come so far?
  • These are the sparkles of death.
  • Get your slimy souls off me!
  • It's an impossible sofa.
  • There's a downstairs in everybody.
  • Hurt you? Of course we're going to hurt you. Everybody gets hurt.
  • Those who ask don't get. And those who don't ask don't want.
  • Everyone's got to eat a peck of dirt before they die.
  • You're ugly, you're hairy, and you're covered in shit. But you're mine, and I love you!
  • Events do not occur apart and singly. Anything worth the hunting has a cost.
  • Nothing is too cute and sweet to be dangerous.
  • Our existence deforms the universe.
  • Lady, I'm your worst nightmare - a pumpkin with a gun!
  • I think bad things have happened. I feel them in my socks.
  • You've made your bed and now you must eat it.
  • I should put on a face, now. Go out into the world and pretend to be a member of society...
  • Have you a rope out of which to construct a hamburger?
  • I paid too much attention to a guard... bit into his eyeball. I meant it as a sign of affection.
  • We're taking over the world with quarters. It's a very slow and intricate process.
  • Drive your cart and your plough over the bones of the dead.
  • Dip him in the river who loves water.
  • Think in the morning, act in the noon, eat in the evening, sleep in the night.
  • If others had not been foolish, we should be so.
  • A firm persuation that a thing is so makes it so.
  • Because they are unhappy... they need somebody more unhappy than they are.
  • A workforce full of retards is a retarded workforce.
  • It's the silence... the damned, deafening silence...
  • I will not be disturbed! Not in the hour of my final triumph.
  • I stand by my batmoose.
  • It was born in a primordial soup of radioactive sewage...
  • What, what?
  • Confusion is the elephant in the porcelain cupboard.
  • The wish is the father of the thought.
  • Between dream and deed there are people in the way, and practical objections.
  • As the inn-keeper is, he trusts his guests.
  • It is as meaningful as a flag on a mud barge.
  • In the omission one recognizes the master.
  • Waiting is a funny feeling.
  • Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
  • Life is strange and the alternatives even stranger.
  • I couldn't stop thinking about it and had dreams about it all night last night.
  • There is no HUD. There is no map. But there are trees... lots and lots of trees.
  • Be nice to him! He can be a princess if he wants to!
  • I've killed it. UGH! Everything I touch gets ruined!
  • Oh, don't get your knickers in a twist, Megan. I'm too lazy to take over the Darkside.
  • Rules are made to be broken... as are gumballs.
  • I DON'T CARE that I'm not making any sense. It's my theory, and I'm sticking to it.
  • What happened to our little truce? Why, it had a fatal accident...
  • She tipped the ambassador in the pit and threw astrologers at him!
  • I think you lost it long ago, quite frankly...
  • What will I do? What will I do?! I will boil everyone in chocolate until they are dead!!
  • Why so much fuss about sandwiches? I say put all three sandwiches in a blender and serve with ice.
  • These are not the sysops you are looking for. Move along, move along...
  • Crossdressing always has been your solution for everything.
  • The Goddess protects me from angry hornets, forever and always!
  • Do not sabotage my paranoia with facts and reason.
  • Take me now, subcreature!
  • I'm an elf.
  • Percolating as need, frenzied sloths regard their captors with tables turned.
  • Humor is like reverse jenga, played using CAT scanners.
  • Without nightmares, there would be no dreams, and without dreams, reality is too tasteless to bear.
  • A tent full of grasshoppers never felt so good.
  • If there are any changes in the data... eh... taco beam, let me know.
  • Cuteness solves everything.
  • Why must pain hurt so much?!
  • I'm a Gazelle on the plain of life!
  • Now, we are just as confused, but at a much higher level.
  • With trivial power comes trivial responsibility.
  • I spackled a cat.
  • Everything is sinister if you make it out to be! Or nothing. Cookie?
  • Uncertainty makes your brain sexy.
  • I shall slip unnoticed through the darkness... like a dark, unnoticeable slippy thing.
  • Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can do the day after.
  • You can't run away from home without destroying someone's world.
  • I'm sorry, but all in all, it is completely, utterly, unarguably, quintessentially hopeless.
  • Don't let them see you're afraid.
  • Sometimes, you just have to say sorry.
  • Remember what your mother said.
  • You'd have made a lousy waiter.
  • I wasn't worried until you told me not to worry.
  • How do you know if you're happy or sad without a mask? Or angry? Or ready for dessert?
  • I have a face.
  • Why don't you look out of the window?
  • The charges are laid, the fuse is lit, the conversational excavation under way.
  • Remember, I don't know what I'm talking about.
  • You were right, and I was not as right as you were.
  • Look! An idiot!
  • This one time I found a toad in a bucket. It was dead.
  • CatMan is really a cat, man.
  • That's the funny thing about words. They're not mine. They're never mine. At least... not entirely.
  • Ugh... I like GUIs...
  • Goodbye, Haydrahliene...
  • No time, no time... never any time...
  • Hands for the world, hands for spite.
  • Never trust a man who knows only truth; he will try to tell it to you, and it will all be wrong.
  • I didn't mean anything. Even when I told the honest man I loved him, all I meant was love.
  • There is always hope, even when it's cruel.
  • Unfortunately, I fail at failing at failure.
  • We still remember, even if the memories aren't even our own...
  • And then, without any warning, there were tentacles everywhere.
  • From freedom comes elegance.
  • From freedom comes laziness.
  • Life... loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it.
  • What happens if the Old Gods perish? Does the song die with them?
  • The blood is the key. The blood is always the key.
  • Perhaps I should have killed it while it slept.
  • He dashed his head on the wall. Odd. Don't all living beings strive for survival?
  • Every room has a door. At least... some of the time.
  • My hovercraft is full of eels.
  • Yes, we have no bats.
  • Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hang onto.
  • Keep away! The sow is mine.
  • Get away from my baby!
  • Dead is the new Alive.
  • The chickens are in the hayloft.
  • The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems.
  • Post-holer. Digging holes for posts.
  • Two by two. Everyone has a match, a mate, a doppler. I love you.
  • Bible's broken; contradictions, false logistics. Doesn't make sense.
  • 'Day' is a vestigial mode of time measurement based on solar cycles. It's not applicable...
  • They're doing it backwards, walking up the downslide.
  • My food is problematic.
  • She understands. She doesn't comprehend.
  • You've got issues. ...You talk too much.
  • Only the insane equate pain with success.
  • Were you impolite at table? Did you slurp your tea? Or talk while chewing? Confess your crime.
  • I'm afraid I have to expel a rather ferocious hairball. You're on your own, girl.
  • Every adventure requires a first step. Trite, but true, even here.
  • Your interference will not be tolerated.
  • Raw, well-ordered, ruthless, careening off the jagged edge of reality.
  • Retreat into the sterile safety of your self-delusions or risk inevitable annihilation.
  • The uninformed must improve their deficit or die.
  • If you knew time as well as I, you wouldn't dream of wasting it!
  • I'm not edible.
  • Chicago happened slowly, like a migraine.
  • They'd come here to spoon and, on one memorable occasion, fork.
  • Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
  • When Mister Safety Catch is not on, Mister Crossbow is not Your Friend.
  • I lost some time once. It's always in the last place you look for it.
  • Have you ever had one of those days when something just seems to be trying to tell you somebody?
  • But we who know life naturally don't care one ounce about numbers!
  • Not all the songs of earth, not all the stars of heaven, could fill your emptiness.
  • Only a fool thinks he knows what is in a woman's mind only because she's smiling.
  • But damn, Hester, you don't hit a drunk man with a stick.
  • My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
  • The big ships hung in the air, just like a brick won't.
  • Books are mirrors: you only see in them what you already have inside you.
  • What I want from you is... your voice.
  • I'm not asking much! Just a token, really, a trifle! You'll never even miss it...
  • Get thee to a nunnery!
  • I was forging documents before your parents were born.
  • There is a strange euphoria in remembering. It is... like dreaming.
  • Hmm... let's see if the mongoose will take my madness gracefully...
  • I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
  • Dry bones. Memory is dry bones... flesh it out as you go.
  • We see patterns. We see what we know. What we think we know, what we want to know...
  • To assume that the laws of nature are universal, that is a very large assumption.
  • Maths. Just maths. Everything is maths.
  • My hamster stole my brainses, love. My hamster did it.
  • It's just a theory. Not a fact.
  • It's just a fact. Not a theory.
  • Neutrinos pass through everything, no matter how dense.
  • Subtraction is dangerous.
  • Reality is just a minor detail for you, isn't it?
  • Thinking is the essence of humans.
  • Slug-racing is a sport.
  • There aren't enough numbers.
  • Suddenly, all the nonsense made sense. And all the sense made nonsense.
  • I believe you have something of mine. My mind, where is it?
  • Do what I want, not what I say!
  • Fred, shut up.
  • I'd rather be happy than right any day.
  • Was it worth the pain?
  • How can something be listed vaguely in only precise terms?
  • There is no story here.
  • Consistency is key.
  • Is leaving a toilet seat up the only way for a man to assert his masculinity?
  • So what changed?
  • It cost too much, staying human.
  • Rained, rained, rained, and never stopped.
  • Oh no, a logical thought, logical thought, banish it, banish it! And I like the Beatles.
  • Your pathetic façade is as transparent as the drool on your face!
  • This is bigger than pizza! This is the fate of all mankind!
  • I'm in a bear suit!
  • Engineers like urns.
  • Get off my head!
  • Only the darkest souls from the worst pockets of hell would... decorate.
  • Nothing earns you geek points like installing Linux on a dead badger.
  • Sleep... I remember sleep... maybe I should try that again sometime.
  • There is no memory before forgetting. The aliens aren't real until you make them up.
  • I believe in probability.
  • Accurate spelling is a side effect of eating too much walrus butt.
  • It's really hard to want to chase somebody who smells that bad.
  • I sure like TV. And wearing pants.
  • I could see the squirrels, and they were married.
  • This space intentionally left filled by this message.
  • Flash... bulb...
  • I know nothing.
  • You get that when you open a door that is not there with a key that does not exist...
  • We are very sophisticated. We have just proven that the expected value of 5 is 5.
  • Cheese is so slippery...
  • What do you think science is? That's where the maths comes from.
  • The road to truth goes through dreams and madness.
  • A rain of cows!
  • Illogicopedia is questionable.
  • When it comes to words, I'm willing to assume quite a lot.
  • The madnesses of an unfettered mind are tantamount to silence.
  • You could render the entire thing in vectors... but that would make for horrible animation.
  • Hope is the best spice to bring out despair.
  • Other people are not me. To be not me, all I need to be is someone else.
  • Though they accuse me of lies, so does my grunteloid plop onto a roof tile.
  • All good things come with strings.
  • Foolish, foolish. Very foolish. Foolish meat things.
  • His younch must be festering.
  • How many unfinished projects do I have? How many unanswered dreams? What I am I forgetting?
  • No matter how wise the question, the answer depends entirely on the mind of the answerer.
  • Teetering on the edge of the funny farm, only music keeps the voices out.
  • "Sounds like my kind of party," said the drat, and jumped over the edge of the punch-bowl.
  • "I will do nothing!" she yelled defiantly, and ceased existing.
  • This day will be devoted to silent study. I'll want to hear silence from all of you!
  • In satire, irony is militant.
  • That's none of your business!
  • Who are you?
  • Batteries included.
  • I knew it was going to be in the last place I looked for it. So I looked there first!
  • I'm always afraid he's laughing at me. Behind his face.
  • I came to see you. I mean I wanted to talk, too. Not just see.
  • One day the Earth will hatch and a baby space whale will emerge from the shell.
  • I don't conveniently forget anything. I just forget everything.
  • Happiness will prevail.
  • The frog, filled with joy, ran into the streets and was immediately hit by a car.
  • I loathe bus stations. Terrible places, full of lost luggage and lost souls.
  • There are shadows on your heart. Dark ones, too...
  • Are we planning on getting shot with arrows frequently, then?
  • Of course we're planning on getting shot with arrows! Didn't you get the memo?
  • Sorry, mom... I'll excavate it tomorrow...
  • I feel like I've been run over by a mine cart. And the donkey it was attached to.
  • Eh, done is done. The rock is split, might as well carve it as cry over it.
  • Oh, here I am! And there you are! You just disappeared. Well, no matter!
  • If they flew into the sky, they could live in the clouds.
  • What would they eat in the clouds? There is nothing there but fluff and the occasional bird.
  • Hurry up and wait.
  • Merciful mother of moles...
  • It's a squash. I'm being attacked - or possibly romanced - by an angry squash.
  • Git back, y' cursed veggie!
  • There's a coupla big watermelons over in t'west corner that I wouldn't want t'get behind me.
  • There must've been a hole there in the wall!
  • Well, thank you, sir, for saving me from the evil squash.
  • No one in their right mind could fail to be fascinated by the prospect of ditch digging.
  • There's no such thing as a joyless root cellar.
  • Cheri, it's not paranoia when even the vegetables are out to get you.
  • I'm a demon! I'm a demon! Woo!
  • I always aspired to be a dirt fish...
  • Fire burn, but not being bad, just being fire.
  • Ed is not trusting god rats.
  • You said it, Ed.
  • I'll bet you diamonds to dolomitic conglomerates!
  • Gods big things, not safe.
  • Gastropodz rule.
  • Digging beats fishing a spear out of your spleen any day.
  • Goodness, is that my pickaxe in your gut? And is this your pickaxe in my eye?
  • There ought to be laws against smugness.
  • You know... once you get used to the searing pain, the flashing colors are really quite pretty...
  • Remember your roots.
  • Jane Fonda must wear a hat at all times.
  • But how could I forget? Nothing I remember is real.
  • Nothing happens, nobody comes, nobody goes, it's awful!
  • Gods are just no match for doctors.
  • Are all of your people so tactless, or just you?
  • Never trust anyone who speaks typewriter.
  • Wait - the men whose skins you were... when they died, did their shadows become deer?
  • I do not doubt that they would skin us, but they do not seem to mean any harm by it.
  • Your metaphor's two stories tall and has ropes wrapped around it.
  • If it is decided that I may continue to hunt you, I will tell you first.
  • Always double-check your math if there are explosives involved.
  • Beams of darkness streak across the sky, signals from the ancient satellite.
  • Interesting how 'trying to kill and eat someone' can after time become 'initial unpleasantness'.
  • Being good, explaining badly, is still better than being evil and is explaining well!
  • I like him. His spine sounds like daffodils.
  • They're quicker'n a greased porpoise in a sea 'o snot!
  • Narrowly escaping death through a clever use of undead vegetables...
  • What good is a god that doesn't fossilize?!
  • Oh, thank goodness. You'd hate to sit on a dead saint.
  • Haydrahlienne. Haydrahlienne. Who are you, Haydrahlienne?
  • My heart is in a jar upon the wall. Where is yours?
  • Lighting never was my strong point.
  • Oh, deary me, I seem to have gone deaf from the neck up.
  • Life was a lot easier when I just wanted to be a bird.
  • Hey! I'm ordinary as dirt!
  • Before we had awesome game controllers, we had sheep's knuckles.
  • Don't look at me. Stupid map doesn't even tell you how the air is supposed to smell.
  • Gag me with a spoon!
  • My darling, my carrion-scented flower, you gnaw my liver...
  • Yup, they'll get along like a house on fire. In the middle of an earthquake.
  • It's not just you, the ceiling really is melting.
  • I ate its shadow! It was flaky and moist!
  • 'Data' is plural.
  • That... rock... looks nothing like a bunny. Neither does that one. What are the odds?
  • Why, oh, why is a sock worthy of note? Do peacocks wear socks?
  • Overshadowed by a sock. Destiny is harsh.
  • Heavenly voices make undecipherable noises.
  • Living in dreams isn't too bad, really, so long as you remember to wake up to eat... and sleep.
  • The whole world felt like an impending cave-in.
  • A friend might put a spear in your heart, but only an enemy will tell you it's for your own good.
  • Seriously, crawdads?
  • I have fifty books holding up my potted plant at home.
  • There's only one way to test this. Add a line.
  • What are the mathematics of tears?
  • I could say that 'talks with the fish people are floundering', but that would be wrong.
  • A man makes his own density.
  • We hope you do not die horribly. No. It would be hard to collect your skins. Very. Yes.
  • Grim Eyes, I love you, but you don't have the brains the Gods gave an eggplant.
  • It's a bug on a stick!
  • It will be well. You'll see. Here, you can hold my bug.
  • We all need someone who will let us hold their bug.
  • Count on you to find the cloud around the silver lining.
  • All I can see is death.
  • I have worn so many masks... I have forgotten which one is my real face.
  • The universe is perfect. Mess with it at your peril.
  • Fear drives the universe.
  • What are the ten radical isotopes?
  • No plan survives contact with life.
  • Reality is wider than a single mind.
  • I've received twelve urgent messages while you were dithering about.
  • I'm busy saving the world from bluetooths, thankyouverymuch!
  • Make good fertilizer, t' vampyres do.
  • In the eye of the storm, there is no way out, no escape.
  • Crisp as a cracker.
  • One should never be thanked for one's duty.
  • Unmatched sets. Pieces that don't go to anything in particular...
  • All who gain power are afraid to lose it.
  • Over time you will evolve into a cartoon character.
  • My code does not have bugs. It just develops random features.
  • Keep treating someone like they're normal, and eventually, they may turn out to be normal.
  • Take my advice. I don't use it anyway.
  • I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.
  • No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.
  • Only the shallow know themselves.
  • Death is cold and empty and full of cheese waffles.
  • Santa Claus remains terrifying until children are about 3 years old.
  • Muses go splat.
  • Light and Darkness are Eternal. Nothing probably goes on forever, too.
  • She's climbing the wall again, nevermind all the playground equipment behind her.
  • WARNING: CONTAINS COLOURS THAT MAY HAVE AN ADVERSE AFFECT ON ACTIVITY AND ATTENTION IN CHILDREN
  • By God, we're the lamest aliens ever.
  • Yes, very tragic. Completely dead. No chance of ever finding him alive.
  • I used to want you dead. Now I just want you gone.
  • You keep what you kill.
  • Sometimes you have to drop a bomb on civilians to bring folks to the table.
  • If you are to be our voice, you must know our history.
  • Tell the spiders I don't want to tapdance!
  • What's the point of being better than everybody else if nobody else sees it?
  • I like my men like how I like my coffee - COVERED IN BEES.
  • We all lose our charms in the end, but diamonds... diamonds are a girl's best friend.
  • It is a well-known fact that a dog made of diamonds is a human's best friend.
  • I only speak the truth.
  • It's a paradox, you idiot. There is no right answer!
  • C and C++ are the chainsaws of the programming world.
  • People are always unhappy, and always dying.
  • The Greeks had it right. Gods are messed up.
  • Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
  • Computers are rote learners. That's why they can't solve problems.
  • A common man marvels at uncommon things; a wise man marvels at the commonplace.
  • Enlightened trial and error wins out over lone genious.
  • Beliefs and desires are information, incarnated as configurations of symbols.
  • AI? What's intelligent about it? Might as well call it 'Artificial Stupidity'.
  • Meaning can cause and be caused.
  • We're rich. We don't care.
  • Computers are monumentally stupid.
  • It doesn't matter whether or not the moon is made out of cheese, just if the dog is pretty.
  • From freedom comes the power to ruin yourself.
  • Art? What do you mean? This is a table.
  • Casting means telling the computer, "Shut up, I know what I'm doing."
  • Opening a jar of a new brand of peanut butter will not vaporise the house.
  • A broken clock is right twice a day.
  • NANs are like zombies. Do any operation with a NAN and it becomes a NAN.
  • I don't like being adaptive and flexible. Why would I want my computer to be?
  • Zeros will always look like zeros.
  • The x86 is a disgusting cesspool of computer design.
  • They're trying to save you money. No fancy lobby, no elaborate welcome... no working computers.
  • It isn't so much a matter of having dexterity as being able to use whatever dexterity you have.
  • I like talking about my pain because it pisses the pain off.
  • You are an awful person, and I'm going to name a tomato after you. As penance.
  • It's turtles all the way down.
  • Your object of intent was to take of the world, was it not? Did you enlist the help of the ducks?
  • Everybody lives alone.
  • I am the catfish man I can't hear you!
  • It probably won a prize.
  • Once we have an explanation - correct or incorrect - we are complacent, at least for awhile.
  • Hello, do I smell a fairy?
  • All is well in the world of Rhin.
  • I'm going to go lie on the asphalt.
  • A verse was retooled into a bridge.
  • There will be expectations.
  • There are always expectations.
  • Square waves, square waves, I follow them with square waves.
  • The cords are modular.
  • The square root of rope is string.
  • According to the most advanced algorithms, the world's best name is Craig.
  • During their lifetimes, 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch.
  • Cumquat.
  • Today is tomorrow.
  • Tomorrow is yesterday.
  • We're so transparent, we're practically invisible.
  • I want to use my mental powers for the important things, not fritter them away on the mechanics.
  • We call them 'windows'. They aren't unusual.
  • Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can put off 'til today.
  • It's slower, if by 'slower' you mean your rocket won't explode and fall out of the sky.
  • I have some conspiracy theorists waiting for you in my closet.
  • Voting is in effect until the Foundation decides sufficient time has been wasted.
  • My pain belongs to the divine. It is like air. It is like water.
  • You blew up your own shop?!
  • In the old days, insane men wore blocks on their heads to be easily distinguished from theologians.
  • We have rights, Ben, including the right to be as stubborn or thick-headed as we want.
  • I'm not sleeping. I'm checking my eyelids for holes.
  • I'm charging by the head for this function, and you do have a head. For now.
  • This is a day of goats.
  • Exercise makes me sweat.
  • Darkness only shines in the light.
  • Light only shines in the darkness. Innocence is simply an excuse for the guilty.
  • Stars are the real Time Lords.
  • So.
  • One thing is certain: we're losing the peace. Which means a war might be our only hope.
  • The dress is fine. I don't like you.
  • It only works if folks say what they mean. How do you parse a metaphor?
  • It was fast because they basically kept pouring in more bottles of go faster.
  • I had to have her. And her vegetables.
  • Ah, the 60s... when the Ruskis were still trying to blow us all up, instead of trying sell us porn.
  • The operating system said, 'Oh, you naughty boy,' and killed it.
  • Pegasus, the one-eyed wonder fish.
  • More insidious than a creeping mediawiki...
  • There's no profit in jealousy.
  • Study fine art... hate art forever.
  • Heed the words of the Prophets.
  • You are the dreamer. And the dream.
  • Sometimes, you see a story, and you dream it. You become the story.
  • The dirty man has a hat.
  • We completely ignore the metaphors. But are these novel metaphors, or common lexical forms?
  • Illogic gate.
  • They didn't know what else to do but throw more junk into it.
  • Suffering is important in a honeymoon.
  • Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz.
  • We want to be able to get more work done in a shorter time so we can be sloppy.
  • Oh, come on! He only won because he didn't die first. Anyone can do that.
  • I opened his heart with a scissors. Had to see what was inside.
  • Wait, let me think... was I alone in Solitary? Why yes, I think I was.
  • C code. All this for C code.
  • During the Reckoning, the people will either suffer terribly or eat fruit.
  • I'm your mother! I can't leave you alone.
  • People who are fine don't write on walls.
  • The best ideas often come at inconvenient times.
  • Just put your favourite dead squirrel out on the street and watch what happens.
  • And then you have Hell, which is always so much more interesting than Heaven.
  • I'm not a god, I'm a security officer.
  • I'm sorry. It's just such an honour to be sitting here with a... security officer.
  • Why be a god if there's noone to worship you?
  • They are quick to judge and slow to forgive. They still have much to learn.
  • When someone says it is 'for the good of the public', you know they're trying to pull one over you.
  • The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law George. But unlike George, this plan just might work.
  • 'Heuristic' - fancy word for 'guess'.
  • I don't think I think as much as I think I think I like to think. I think?
  • There will be duplicates and overlap, and there will be holes.
  • People who find poop jokes funny have something wrong with their right brain.
  • There he's being there on the ceiling there.
  • The root of the matter is far simpler than you make it out to be. People are lazy. And idiots.
  • When is a client a client?
  • He spread the warm bread with socks.
  • The cats bake.
  • My karma ran over my dogma.
  • All life is suffering.
  • Nobody should die on an empty stomach.
  • Nobody expects the spanish legal system.
  • Abuse no longer redirects to User:Spang.
  • Do you think I'm so stupid I go out my own front door?
  • In this part of the world, the children die before we do. We need to wait for them to die.
  • We will talk about cows in chapter 9. Zombie cows.
  • Your system is just chillin', you know?
  • Not your momma's PhD.
  • Hereabouts we have another name for the person who ignores his seat belt: the multiple-organ donor.
  • All roads eventually lead to the Great Path. Many cross along the way.
  • A lot of freaks, I hear. And people from Arkansas.
  • Dead aliens off the set!
  • The sentences didn't ruin the book for me. The book ruined the book for me.
  • They told stories of a Wikipedia where policy pages were short and people were friendly.
  • I've never shaved a moose.
  • A whack of storage.
  • Perception goes beyond the information given.
  • Wikipedia is not concise.
  • The operating system is dumb.
  • I didn't know what it meant. It was just glowy and fun and it felt like Christmas.
  • I zatted a jaffa!
  • You know, in some cultures, thinking with one's brain is considered an honourable thing to do.
  • How can you regret losing a memory you cannot even remember?
  • He was no dragon. Fire cannot kill a dragon.
  • There is no "I" in team, but there is an eye in "eye surgery".
  • Anyone who isn't us is an enemy.
  • It's like a free ride when you've already paid.
  • I am going to curl up in bed with the largest sandwich I can find.
  • Welcome to the future! Nothing's changed.
  • There is no point in trolling this wiki. It trolls itself.
  • Who the hell bitches about intransitive verbs in order to fit in?
  • Fish are terrible, horrible creatures and they should be exterminated from the face of the earth.
  • Trust is hard to earn and easy to lose.
  • I'd question why sociopathy is cool, but then again, I'm not that hip.
  • Wear it like armour and it can never be used to hurt you.
  • I like to take and sew my pants up with pudding.
  • An advanced hypnotist may be able to summon a train out of a television program.
  • I knew I shouldn't have named my cat 'Psychologist'.
  • Is it a rabbit or a rock?
  • The odds are good that the goods are odd.
  • It's like... broken lightbulbs, fresh-cut grass, and the inside of a raisin, all bundled together.
  • There is technically no medical condition called 'crazy'.
  • Can mobile homes rampage?
  • Real men are supposed to use the command line.
  • It is a simplification. A narrative fallacy.
  • I am eat cow.
  • Needs more cowbell.
  • What is the history of history?
  • Anybody wanna help me milk my cat?
  • Murdering people is heroic.
  • I like her. She gave me the sky and asked nothing in return.
  • What is a database but data? Everything is data.
  • I'm not a recluse. People just don't like visiting me.
  • Assert anything and there will be a counterargument.
  • Only once did I kill with meaning. Never again.
  • Warm sands, soft skies, clear seas, and everlasting luck.
  • It's indecent for your punctuation to run around topless.
  • Can you help me?
  • Damn that glue! I hope that doesn't happen during the wake.
  • Never believe what you publish. Never publish what you believe.
  • You have all the weapons you need. Now fight.
  • Accusations of admin abuse are usually correct; an admin is being abused.
  • Sweet dreams are made of this.
  • Go ask Alice. I think she'll know.
  • Error 500 - Internal server error
  • If you can remember the story, you can tell it.
  • I feel like everything is wrong and I'm trying to ignore it.
  • If you tell the story long enough, you become the story.
  • I live in this nice dreamland where people use their brains.
  • You've got demons in your closet.
  • Die without regrets.
  • You know what the music means.
  • Every man has his price.
  • The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of the expanding bureaucracy.
  • I'm sorry this is so long. I didn't have time to make it shorter.
  • I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now.
  • A middle-aged dentist with an ulcer is not exactly evil personified.
  • I would suggest that everybody take a few days off from throwing things at each other.
  • Demons I get. People are crazy.
  • Revenge isn't worth much if you end up dead.
  • What is wrong with me, mother? Something must be wrong! I wish...
  • I am your mother! I don't have to be reasonable.
  • Any company that makes the Queen's knickers deserves an article.
  • You can expect a miracle, but in the meantime you have to work your butt off.
  • You're a walking encyclopedia of weirdness.
  • I'm Batman.
  • I don't like being singled out at birthday parties, much less by God.
  • People are people because they're miserable bastards and never get what they want.
  • Kneel before Todd!
  • Something is caught in my throat. I think it's my throat.
  • Did you try turning it off and then on?
  • Angels are like shady politicians from planet Vulcan.
  • Walk the dead streets and see what there is so see. Where is the mystery and where is the end?
  • I wish this were a TV show.
  • Fern is the lunatic at the end of the block with a goat and too many spatulas.
  • They're not like the Loch Ness monster. Dragons aren't real.
  • The recruiters who use "grep" to evaluate resumes seem to like it.
  • Tear gas? No, it's cat food. Why do you ask?
  • You, sir, are a credit to your trailer park.
  • This is the imperative clue to solve the entire puzzle.
  • Why do humans and moths behave differently?
  • Why don't we just smell other humans?
  • Throw it away, it's just a piece of rubbish.
  • When a food is said to be a mosquito repellent, something's probably wrong with it.
  • With arbitrary lines drawn invisibly the boundaries are defined.
  • Within madness words are key.
  • All escape artists are claustrophobic. That's why we want to escape.
  • There are many forms of alien, some more subtle than others.
  • I do not think you want to know the answer. You are only asking for the sake of asking.
  • Like cow.
  • We're going to be corpses. Might as well be ridiculous-looking corpses.
  • It's okay. We were all dragons.
  • Why, everything I have told you is true. Even the lies.
  • Interminably the madness looms outward, percolating with need.
  • If only, if only, the woodpecker sighs, the bark on the trees were as soft as the skies...
  • It can giggle all it wants, but the galaxy's not getting any of our bourbon.
  • He's the Madgod. You expect it to make sense?
  • Excuse me, have you seen Calufax? It's sort of a planet.
  • Remind me to never ask a hippie for good ideas.
  • It is the tortured who turn into torturers.
  • I've just been wandering for awhile now, collecting baubles of shiny words...
  • What do you call pictures in your head that you can't make go away?
  • All secrets are deep. All secrets become dark. That's in the nature of secrets.
  • Never trust a man with dirty fingernails.
  • It helps if they think you're crazy. They don't argue.
  • Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going.
  • Madness is Forever.
  • Thus is the evolution of presence.
  • Do you think there is a story here, that if you keep turning the page, it will all become clear?
  • There are no answers, only questions.
  • There are no questions, only answers.
  • The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.
  • Bubbling upward, wobbling outward, a dream overtakes the bowl.
  • I am become cat, destroyer of tuna.
  • Think of it as one giant rack for mankind.
  • Research has shown that some men enjoy viewing women's breasts.
  • Too bad it isn't true.
  • You have a secret.
  • In this place of words, words are all we have. But so it is throughout, is it not?
  • You're so easy to read, but the book is boring me.
  • They're a gift. It's rude to keep throwing them up.
  • I'm a programmer. Of course I reuse code.
  • I have a brick and I... don't know how to use it.
  • It's part of a leaf in the tree that grows upside down.
  • Welcome to the magical world of frictionless planes and perfect dictionaries.
  • I am a fangirl; hear me SQUEE!
  • I pay for your silence.
  • I'm sorry to have inconvenienced you all so much by trying to be productive and helpful.
  • You're very well groomed for a crazy person.
  • Yes, nitpicking at someone when they're already annoyed is very helpful. Thank you.
  • Think of... daisies! A field of daisies! With vampiric squirrels rampaging everywhere!
  • There is no such thing as justice. The best that one can hope for is revenge.
  • I can't put it up, because the madness is down!
  • I hate your logic brain.
  • Our technology is so advanced it can often seem broken.
  • Despair is a boneless cat.
  • You think of your user as a moronic knuckle-dragging idiot. And then there's the manager...
  • Everything has a cost.
  • Your sweet, sweet words turn into nothing more than bitter orange wax in my ears.
  • The sentries won't mess up again now that they're dead.
  • God made me an atheist. Who are you to question his wisdom?
  • All standards are arbitrary. This is why they must be standardised.
  • I happen to have this minor condition called limb amputation.
  • Be sure to follow all safety protocols... as soon as I make them up.
  • We're talking about Lyrithya, here, not someone with a sense of decorum.
  • I have to burn a hole in the fire.
  • A chair never sits. It stands all its life. And the yellows crawl across the carpet...
  • The dreams tend to gather there, you know. Well, the sleepy half of them, at least.
  • Deep in the earth are potatoes, and they talk and long for light.
  • When we die we cannot breathe, for death is a tight sweather, and we become dust under the coach.
  • I don't want to be dead. I want to be a firefighter.
  • A hill goes both up and down. Simultanously.
  • A little bird carries its legs where it goes, for only a bird can lift itself.
  • The bottom of the sea is completely black, although it's only transculent water.
  • Fish blink their eyes for they are always wet and you cannot see it when they cry.
  • Then the Thermonuclear Banhammer of Overreaction came down on all concerned.
  • Perhaps I can fly when I sleep?
  • Oooh, reality... I try to avoid that.
  • I certainly hope I'm Gorr. I'm wearing his underwear!
  • Something happened here but I have no idea what because there's too much scrollback.
  • Hell is other people.
  • 'Most' is a perfectly compelling statistic.
  • Become a programmer, they said. It'll be fun, they said.
  • And so the crazy refactoring process sees the sunlight after some months in the dark!
  • I'm afraid this Really Useful Book isn't being terribly useful at the moment.
  • Forsooth. Methinks yon lass hath a screw loose within her addled skull.
  • All models are wrong, but some are useful.
  • When dealing with clients, it's never quite clear if it's a bug or something they wanted.
  • That's not important. I want scala. I want it!
  • 'Broken' has different meanings in different contexts.
  • The dreamer is dead, and her dream died with her.
  • Oh, I'm not a developer. I'm just insane.
  • This guy is either an idiot or a genious. I like him.
  • You take the servers. And you make more servers. And then there are servers.
  • My love for you is like a rampaging elephant.
  • The man has tenure. You can't make tenured professors do anything.
  • We are Wikimedia. We are legion. We do not forget. We do not forgive.
  • Only madness knows my name.
  • Home systems will become more complex. Home users will not.
  • I dream the dreamer's dream.
  • If you need more than 3 levels of indentation, you're screwed anyway and should fix your program.
  • My toes have curled in contempt and disgust.
  • I looked to the future. There weren't none.
  • I love it when you talk dirt.
  • You think you've seen it all, and then someone raises a statement that's even more upsetting.
  • I want to see something uninspiring. Do your best to be uninspired.
  • Truth is singular. Its 'versions' are mistruths.
  • At least we should be fine until the country goes bankrupt.
  • We don't need a three-way admin collision to show people that we are uncoordinated.
  • We need to save ourselves from saving ourselves.
  • This is the place to be for the end of the world show.
  • Puking on the audience no longer in vogue.
  • You're the Californian; doesn't everybody go to the beach?
  • If these are bedclothes, then there must be bodies underneath. There's always a body somewhere.
  • This world has a basic circularity. Everything changes, everything comes around.
  • This world, too, is not the one I dreamed.
  • Take that memory and set it aside.
  • You have 18 FOOD UNITS.
  • If we are the branches of some great tree, and every bud is a decision, how does it grow?
  • I have seen only darkness. I do not know the light; all I have is the faith that it is there.
  • From womb to tomb, our lives are not our own.
  • Toilets in Japan are generally more advanced than toilets in other developed nations.
  • It is not odd for Taiwan to host restaurants with unusual themes.
  • Warning. This gallery is protected by fake video cameras.
  • Even public dancing was allowed.
  • I'm afraid we've all contracted an acute case of imbecillus. We'll have to amputate.
  • As I've stated before, I'm not on Facebook and I have no friends.
  • It's like asking a junkie to do a chemical assay of heroin.
  • We need more RAM on the Cloud. Download more RAM.
  • I hope the place is at least livable now. Good luck with, your, um... murders.
  • Worst god in ages. So bad she got kicked out of the God Impersonation Guild. Died too much.
  • Tirna's me favourite god. She tried to kill everyone. I aspire to that.
  • Probably I'll murder him one day. Maybe with a chair.
  • Is it not strange, the evolution of time?
  • We are not who we were.
  • You could restart the server... instead of murdering it?
  • Argentina is subject to a variety of climates.
  • At first I was impressed that it had an API. Then I tried using it.
  • Those ponies are really vicious.
  • Choice and consensquence. In life and in death this is all we have. There is no justice, no reward.
  • Life is not fair.
  • Consider the order of things. Everything was placed here for a reason.
  • The garden is a repository of masks, dreams, memories, and lichen-encrusted frying pans.
  • It's like normal people don't like having grape jelly licked off their necks.
  • The sample is deprecated.
  • When people wonder why I don't like the guy, this is it.
  • Something about penance for puppy dog eyes.
  • You don't know me. Never have, never will.
  • Speak loudly into the brick.
  • Not compatible with LiquidThreads.
  • Bats are eating my legs.
  • When something means this much, we always return to it. It is always there.
  • It takes the ham out of spam.
  • Steal? What do you mean? Just creep in and have a go at taking it out.
  • Mudcrabs know only hatred.
  • Walk always in the light, or we will drag you to it.
  • I'm not brainstorming, I'm having a brain hurricane.
  • Only to return home to a country full of strangers wearing familiar faces...
  • There's no glory in war. They only tell that to soldiers so they will risk their lives.
  • I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee.
  • Dragons were never gone. They were just invisible and very, very quiet.
  • Fish cannot breathe peas. They truly are the worst fruit.
  • We can't all be nectarines.
  • Darkness rises when silence dies.
  • Discipline in the lesser aids in denial of the greater.
  • All we know anymore is pain and loss. What do we have left?
  • All I cared about was riding narwhals and sleeping in honeycombs and drinking babies' tears.
  • When life gives you lemons, go murder a clown.
  • It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.
  • You could just swing a pickaxe into someone's face, but people tend to see that coming.
  • We are the chicken inside the egg, but also the dirt.
  • I am well. I will be well. Well to be within a well.
  • Its siren song keeps calling you back.
  • There is no justice, no reward.
  • YOUR SKULL IS MIIIINE!
  • Sleep is the cousin of death.
  • I guess this is what I get for adopting a pile of crazy dragons as my family.
  • I like this world. I don't want it to end.
  • One of the perks of being insane is you get to do whatever you want.
  • The impossible will take a little while.
  • I'll make a note not to do things that are wrong in the future.
  • In the world we enter when we go online, there's little place for the fuzziness of contemplation.
  • Everything is a bug.
  • The plant does its own drangling.
  • Do you know the meaning of light? It's dreaming, dear sister. Dreaming.
  • I've beaten the archive table to death. I guess it's time to move onto revision...
  • Show biz is such an exciting life. Some day we'll give in and try to experience it.
  • Backed by a team of angry developers...
  • To hell with dignity. I'll leave when the job is done.
  • Never mind that the first is unusual and the second stupid, they should still function correctly.
  • I allow myself this vanity because... well, hell, I'm the only one here.
  • I slept through the last apocalypse.
  • I recall that day very clearly, in that I recall that I slept during most of that day.
  • I had fun once. It was horrible.
  • You don't have to argue with people who won't change their minds.
  • It doesn't matter what you yell so long as you yell loudly enough.
  • Insanity and madness are different. Peas and carrots are different.
  • That is horribly worded. It increases my rage.
  • Life is short. Have an affair.
  • Mister Crossbow is not your friend.
  • If there isn't a problem, that's when you know you have a problem.
  • Ambiguity is not an opening for insight but a bug to be fixed.
  • Maybe I'm just a worrywart.
  • If it doesn't fit, you're not shoving hard enough.
  • Everyone knows that canyon wrens never venture east of Texas.
  • I am going to kill myself with a shovel.
  • It's an acronym, not a Rorschach test.
  • If you rub an Orc up and down on a goat-hide you can make him stick to the ceiling.
  • Holy backlog batman.
  • Surely someone has noticed the Board is missing a member.
  • Beware of dev.
  • Hygiene is harder than heroics.
  • Captain, we're approaching a Plot Contrivance.
  • Suffering isolates us. Loving presense prings us back, makes us strong.
  • There is no bag of proof.
  • We're all in this together, so let's support each other as best we can until darkness falls.
  • We all learn to live with the inevitable.
  • Life is just a momentary transition out of oblivion into oblivion.
  • He poked that thing and then some things happened.
  • How shall we, the murderers of all murderers, comfort ourselves?
  • We must build our lives upon the firm foundation of unyielding despair.
  • Happy database error day!
  • I'm not your target audience. I don't know what your target audience is, but I'm not it.
  • The DNS is handled by CATS.
  • Oh, and this is confidential.
  • This is why I love family. It's why I would do anything for family.
  • They are my dreams. They are the best of me. They are better than I could ever be.
  • Ick! God cooties!
  • We cannot restrict threading. The users will not allow it. Not if they notice.
  • Logic will get you nowhere.
  • All stories are true. All stories are lies. This is no different.
  • We pursue our lives with varying degrees of sloth and energy.
  • Leading a human life is a full-time occupation.
  • Reverse the polarity.
  • Don't quit your day job.
  • I can maybe erase twenty people.
  • I'm too astute. I forgot what I was doing.
  • My plasmodium is voluptuous.
  • If there is no randomness then there is no free will.
  • It's not like I'm worried. If I could think straight about anything I'd be worried, though.
  • Also we need a bug tracker somewhat.
  • The dress was beyond hope, but saving the world should be a good excuse to buy a new one.
  • I didn't know stones had such pretty singing voices...
  • Pushed by a melody, warmed by a tune, I must be the luckiest cloud in all of creation.
  • A fairytale? Dear gods, this was worse than she'd thought.
  • People generally see what they look for, and hear what they listen for.
  • I'm not a human. I'm a lunatic! Whatever it is, it must be much better than being a human.
  • 9 out of 10 voices in my head tell me I'm insane... the 10th voice hums the tetris theme.
  • There are no gods. No gods worthy of our freedom.
  • It started nicely enough. Most nightmares do, and mine in particular.
  • Dreams, and nightmares, are not made for rational thought.
  • It stops being AI when the algorithm is found.
  • Warning: Sanctions ahead
  • Manholes are coming.
  • Between the idea and the reality, between the concept and the creation, falls the shadow.
  • Voicemail was a marketing ploy.
  • She appeared to be making a ribcage out of wool.
  • Your path is made out of choices, and those choices are your own.
  • Nine-tenths of the universe is the paperwork.
  • He was, he always said, only in it for the eyeballs.
  • Things either exist or they don't. I am very clear about that. I have medicine.
  • This is kind of like going on a blind date with your body.
  • Memories of great times I can't remember...
  • Threading: Sending people to die.
  • This is the way the world ends: Not with a bang but a whimper.
  • The target audience is males and females aged zero and up.
  • Let's make better mistakes tomorrow.
  • This is not an exit.
  • It's just daft in typical WMF manner.
  • Power is power.
  • What is dead may never die.
  • Shadows cannot live in the darkness. They are servants of light.
  • Do not cross this stick.
  • Gravity keeps doing its gravity thing a long way away from the earth.
  • Do you think that organizations are run like Wikipedia articles?
  • He's as dumb as he dresses.
  • You're drinking embalming fluid.
  • Grok notwithstanding, I insist you wear shoes for this conversation.
  • Regional deficiencies for toast can be one sided.
  • I got to jolk up the ant vomit a little, you see, so could you slap me?
  • It's written in Old. Before they invented spelling.
  • I must say you're a real brick.
  • There is no justice. Just us.
  • Is the world a plant, an animal, or a knitting loom?
  • This article is burly men unfolding umbrellas.
  • I shipped my penis with an 18-wheeler.
  • Find what you love and let it kill you.
  • It doesn't matter what a movement stands for, it matters what a movement does.
  • Bring me a bucket, and I'll show you a bucket!
  • I plucked a hair from the head of a dying baby! Let me give it to you!
  • It licks the panes and smokes the glass.
  • Dig! I'll know your lost unknown and rise to your depths.
  • When the top level was built, no more could be placed. It was and is the maximal apex.
  • How long will it be sung? My feet were set upon the rock but it turned to mud and drew me down.
  • Does it blend?
  • How does one queue cats?
  • The divine being is the ultimate author of sin.
  • All of it is true. Even the falsehoods. Especially the falsehoods.
  • Lentil soup will wash away all wrongs.
  • It takes nothing to join the crowd. It takes everything to stand alone.
  • Mike doesn't have friends so much as people he's willing to stand next to.
  • Men aren't generally good or bad. They're just men.
  • The silence must be on the ceiling.
  • Smoke and mirrors, love. Smoke and mirrors.
  • Bonkers.
  • Slaughterfish!
  • Zaori is a dragon and a server and above all else a really bad idea.
  • I killed it.
  • Unlinked 2 orphaned pipes.
  • Unfortunately most friends think undying agreement is how to form healthy relationships.
  • Arguing would take too much effort. I'm too tired to play myself.
  • You can't ignore that half the population exists. It's not realistic.
  • I'm not interested in swordfighting your fart, Russ.
  • And by the way, did you know that some ducks have huge penises?
  • I feel fuzzy.
  • I love octopus dependencies!
  • She's an Uncyclopedian. An unprofessional funnywoman.
  • Be just and if you can't be just be arbitrary.
  • My reasons to live were my reasons to die, but at least they were mine.
  • Nothing is not anything.
  • An investment firm offers mutual funds with stocks chosen by a dart-wielding blindfolded monkey.
  • Time really does flow.
  • The next world will have to fend for itself.
  • We're on a mission from Glod.
  • I remember everything. As if it happened only tomorrow. Everything.
  • He had a cough that sounded almost solid.
  • For some money I won't follow you home.
  • Have you got change for a penny?
  • The one they called the Duck Man had a duck on his head. No one questioned it.
  • There may be a logical reason.
  • You are among men who can hold a lengthy conversation with a door.
  • My uterus!
  • There's no implication if there's no thought development.
  • Everyone's equal when they're dead.
  • Self interest is not in anyone's best interest.
  • I survive on the hatred of those that oppose me.
  • Their greatest strength is their façade of weakness.
  • Whether the first moment has an actual thickness is another question.
  • Obviously the universe is rock-permitting.
  • We are the crown of creation.
  • This is the universe. Take it or leave it, it just is.
  • As someone who regularly goes out looking like the Rise of the Swamp Thing, I can attest.
  • I'm going to just immerse myself in my career and buy lots of cats.
  • I love standards, there are so many to choose from.
  • Idiocy is not a communicable disease.
  • Divide by cucumber error. Please reinstall universe and reboot.
  • I'd tell your fortune, but the words don't rhyme.
  • Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.
  • Oh, it's largely intuitive. Obviously you have to spend a lot of time learning it first, though.
  • Anthill Inside.
  • I do ferns.
  • I resent the implication that I am solely fern-fixated.
  • Ferns aren't easy. You need a steady hand.
  • One of the symptoms of those going completely yo-yo was that they broke out in chronic cats.
  • Old gods take on new jobs.
  • 'Panic!' is your solution to everything, isn't it?
  • My agreeing isn't requisite to compliance.
  • Civility is important, but it's no substitute for a well-equipped, modern air force.
  • Why did mortals invent religion but for what they fear to lose?
  • What you whispered should be screamed.
  • So the US is about to go to war, and still no OTRS upgrade.
  • Don't argue against them. Argue for the people watching.
  • This white whale has sailed, and I urge you to drop your harpoon.
  • Everything is forbidden in Finland, or if it isn't, then it's taxed.
  • All men are created equal, but some are more equal than others.
  • I'll look for you when the war is over - an hour and a half from now.
  • They staple the fins to another shark.
  • The Dream is a nightmare. See the world for what it is - episodes of pain ending in untimely death.
  • I don't know if that was a free action. It may have just been a brain thing.
  • Of course I'm afraid. I'm not an idiot.
  • Someone killed a chicken.
  • Namira covets your ugliness.
  • I can see. The world beyond burns my mind.
  • Naked women holding nunchucks are dangerous.
  • Are you saying that kangaroos need to be tied down?
  • Inside every living person is a dead person waiting to get out.
  • Coal, perhaps.
  • The fish guts line isn't going to fly, I'm afraid.
  • I am blown away by how complex this stupid thing is for doing something so simple.
  • It means what is always said or believed by people who think only a little or not at all.
  • Maybe he wasn't crazy, just insane.
  • Too many voices weigh heavy on a man's heart.
  • Please read what the person said before immediately disagreeing with them.
  • I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
  • World's greatest saw-player! Sounds Hawaiian doesn't it!
  • Go, then, there are other worlds than these.
  • We may even be able to sleep without bullets stuffed into our ears.
  • Folks around here can grow almost anything, as long as it's corn or beans.
  • The list grows.
  • Eddie had killed it with illogic.
  • Sometimes color is a coincidence.
  • I'm not little, I'm five.
  • God is petty and doesn't like to be called wrong.
  • Courage, arrogance... same thing.
  • The bullets in his ears blocked the voices completely.
  • Dead is the gift that keeps on giving.
  • You will be taken to a room with a moose.
  • In a perfect environment it's perfect.
  • It's still all toilet paper to me.
  • If it's in your heart, it might as well come out your mouth.
  • The column of truth has a hole in it.
  • The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
  • Compassion means not being arrogant when other people aren't as compassionate as you.
  • Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate.
  • In the Land of Memory, the time is always Now.
  • The floormat proves it.
  • No community is easier to govern than one that rejects the very concept of community.
  • I'm here because someone mentioned rifles!
  • Okay, put your back into it! A Watcher scoffs at gravity!
  • I wear the cheese. It does not wear me.
  • Mom... why are you living in the walls?
  • I made lemonade, and now I'm learning how to play Majhong.
  • A mouse is playing with my knees.
  • Oh - we're thinking up a plan for world domination. The main component: A coffee maker that thinks.
  • We've got important work here. A lot of filing. Giving things names.
  • A forced smile is emotional deoderant.
  • Hi, I'm Andy Sayler and I'm going to talk to you about moving mice off your screen.
  • Please, please help me find my goddamn bible.
  • I know how to age a painting.
  • You're dead. So get some rest.
  • Damn. That is quite the mental lag.
  • All my art is awful. Hence I need to make more.
  • Cat lick butt.
  • It's almost heaven for those who like their meat with a side of meat chased with a bit of meat.
  • This is a group hug and you're part of the group.
  • The mating habits of mid-level government employees - totally captivating.
  • Filtering non-linear things is a bad idea.
  • Why does time go forward?
  • Stretching and folding is important.
  • In a real physical system you can never prove anything.
  • It depends on the eigenstuff and actuator capabilities.
  • Cows live here.
  • Nothing says springtime like a bunch of light-starved begonias.
  • You shame yourself.
  • Statistics do not lie. People use statistics to tell lies.
  • The expected in-stock date is Invalid Date.
  • He was afraid he had already hired all five women in computer science.
  • You have an omnipotent cheese god.
  • He just wants two alligators who love each other forever.
  • Oh dear, I think I'm becoming a god.
  • It's not the brightest mind in the bucket.
  • Identity theft is in an hour. It's always packed; they hand out cookies.
  • I've got a hunger only tacos can stop.
  • Trust the chicken sexers.
  • Excellent. Let's make some LSD.
  • Strangely profound for a narrative about a sponge.
  • If it is said, it is bread.
  • It is the fundamental theorum of why the universe makes sense.
  • Stuff happens - we are the playthings of chance.
  • We're all just cosmic junk.
  • Eternity is an eternal present.
  • If it's true then it's too late not to be true.
  • There is no duality, no battle between good and evil, simply an encompassing whole.
  • We are great because we know we are wretched.
  • Anything's possible if you have a magic carpet.
  • Ideas can be absorbed through osmosis.
  • Her name was Coraline Henderson.
  • Walter, put the cow away.
  • You have a badger on your head.
  • That's him. Right there. With a badger on his head.
  • Take me to your centrifuge.
  • Beware of echo chambers.
  • The are times when the only choices you have left are bad ones.
  • Nature doesn't recognise good or evil. It recognises only balance and imbalance.
  • I want to marry your words then raise a family of little baby words.
  • My heart isn't cold. It's broken.
  • The choices you made are what led you here.
  • Emily is good at remembering.
  • The war is long over.
  • It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.
  • Tell me - what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
  • It does not do to dwell on life and forget to dream.
  • Never use your sword to spread peanut butter and jelly on crackers.
  • Of course it's happening inside your head. But why should that mean it's not real?
  • The fireplace is full of nails.
  • It's hard to have family when you cannot remember who anyone is.
  • Man will maintain its hostility. Have this faith.
  • Go for the eyes, Boo. Go for the eyes!
  • You'll excuse me if I didn't want to argue with a guy with a giant block of tofu on his head.
  • Zombiebaron is the prizes.
  • The computer is a moose.
  • I thought I knew what was going on. Then I thought I knew. Then I knew I knew. Now I don't.
  • Eh, mercy. In my experience it usually involves a shotgun.
  • I will dream like a god.
  • We must always remember our war dead by burning meat over open fires.
  • May your steps be relentless.
  • I'm looking for my past. I seem to have misplaced it.
  • Let's be honest - I don't always think things through.
  • It's not lost. Just forgotten.
  • Whips of words! Letters chained together, wounds most verbose!
  • Most say something in a language they can only speak sideways.
  • Incoherent fire disspates all contingency.
  • It seems to work and I can do crazy things and... and man, having a dragon fall on you hurts.
  • I am alive because that one is dead. I exist because I have the will to do so.
  • Working for them is hell and the pay sucks.
  • You can't win against a unicorn, you just can't.
  • The prodigal murderer returns.
  • I entered "a potato" and this is what mediawiki spat out.
  • An intelligent species would at least find someone to complain to.
  • Indeed, many things are not impossible until they've been tried.
  • In a library the books leak, and learn from each other.
  • There could be pineapples. I wouldn't go near it.
  • You did it! And you didn't die, not even a little bit!
  • He was not going to be found wanting when duty called. He did not intend to be found at all.
  • I looked into the heart of darkness, and I ate it all.
  • I think I smell a skunk. It smells like tuna.
  • A drunk girl's thoughts are a sober girl's cows.
  • Welcome to the ship of fools.
  • Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
  • It's very easy to manage to kill yourself if you've truly lost all hope.
  • One may be before, one after. It's uncertain. The world state is uncertain.
  • Logic is an oppressive tool.
  • Toggle the narcissistic internet slot machine.
  • Something is wrong with this world.
  • Encouraging functional behavior is abusive.
  • Even just having one person on your side is enough.
  • Embrace your sides.
  • As man of the house, I am entitled to be the one wearing the meat pants.
  • This water is important. It means something. The rattle is relevant, the coldness solid.
  • The words are sideways, the ideas jagged.
  • Pufferfish.
  • She had so much dirt under her nails there was an earthworm under one of them.
  • We have some great guests lined up today. As soon as I remember who they are, I'll let you know.
  • One was the loneliest number. Then zero killed it.
  • It is the truth. It will remain true whether you believe it or not.
  • Reverse cunning, indistinguishable from utter stupidity.
  • It's like climbing a rubber band as a unit of measurement.
  • There are times when it does not pay to declare one's sanity.
  • Look up the study of LSD. It is around here somewhere.
  • Have you ever seen any of this evolution happening?
  • Things that happen do not stay happened.
  • He was only insane on the outside.
  • The luggage was lost.
  • No worries.
  • I used to make snakes out of clay when I was a little boy. Doing the feet was the hard part.
  • The voices are never usually this precise.
  • The new day is a great big fish.
  • Even the priests have given up trying to explain it.
  • We are in the deep crack. It couldn't be worse if it were raining arseholes.
  • Seven people in robes made a decision.
  • Precedent is the law of the land.
  • This has been here long enough. It will be here longer still.
  • Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.
  • The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want.
  • It's the clash between the seriousness and the perspective. The view from nowhere...
  • Need to be noticeable, to stand out...
  • To be maximally powerful, this must include the power to choose evil.
  • Absolutely power corrupts absolutely.
  • All power is relative. All things come at a cost.
  • This would be easier in mobile.
  • Nothing worse than stubbed toes!
  • From infinite... to finite? Power explains things properly. Has rules, limits, necessities.
  • The law of total probability can be found elsewhere.
  • How did the moon get there?
  • Why aren't you in a pit of boiling tar?
  • He is offending my religion by not being in a pit of boiling tar.
  • I went through the motions until I was about thirty, and then it just hit me like a two-by-four.
  • You're daft but you ain't insane. There's worser things.
  • Masks conceal one face, but they reveal another. The one that comes out only in darkness.
  • She engaged in whatever she engaged in.
  • I don't mind having problems. I just don't want to be there when they happen.
  • PHP explains a potato.
  • Look, I can explain. We got a bit carried away. We were a bit too creative in our thinking.
  • You're trapped in chains of goldfish.
  • Time is a drug. Too much of it will kill you.
  • Certainty. I used to be certain. Now I'm not so sure.
  • The real truth must sometimes be protected by a labyrinth of lies.
  • It's not my dream. I always dream of a giant carrot chasing me through a field of lobsters.
  • You get dreams from cats. Stroke them with a rod of copper.
  • Men should die for lies. The truth is too precious to die for.
  • I am the gender police. Your gender is stupid.
  • Blimp. It must be a blimp. How do I make a blimp? It shall of course explode.
  • The songs of our ancestors guide us and detain us.
  • Some pie sometimes.
  • See a pin and pick it up, and all day long you'll have a pin.
  • This place is a tomb of unheard words. They strive to be heard.
  • You can't have a secret order without robes.
  • I reasoned that if I destroyed the universe in one go, no-one would know.
  • This is past. Past stays past. But other things change.
  • It does something to Boris' mad horse brain.
  • Any mail addressed to a god goes to his or her or its temple.
  • The masks show us for what we are. Faces are unimportant.
  • Death is fractional, just like life.
  • Nobody saw that.
  • The sky was a horrible morass of fluffy white clouds strewn across a lurid abyss of blue.
  • I love you.
  • We're all just folk.
  • Eapheorod stepped into the universe and had always been.
  • Pick up the phone booth and aisle.
  • He wasn't insane, but it was clear that mostly, for him, the world happened elsewhere.
  • Mind the squid. We're a bit puzzled about that, actually.
  • Don't try to fire a goat from a bow. Not good.
  • I am not interested in names. I am interested only in deeds.
  • Remember always this. As you will it, so it shall be.
  • It's not a family dinner unless your cardigans are touching.
  • Don't shimmer at me like that. I have a gun, you know.
  • I dream in purple.
  • Marketing MAKES NO SENSE. That's marketing. That's the fucking definition of marketing.
  • All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again.
  • You get a wonderful view from the point of no return.
  • At some point it doesn't matter. It all sucks.
  • There is no such thing as 'just a psycho'.
  • The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it's taken place.
  • Evil can't be scientifically defined. It's an illusory moral concept that doesn't exist in nature.
  • There's a flood. And a storm. Don't worry about it.
  • Have a bullet for free.
  • Not even natural selection can take place here. The world is being engulfed in "truth."
  • You coppers and your evidence. You always let it confuse everything.
  • Stories exist independently of their players.
  • They're meth labs. They explode.
  • He who was living is now dead. We who were living are now dying... with a little patience.
  • I have spoken and that is final. Shut up leave me alone I'm drinking.
  • Prepare to don the behind hat.
  • We've got a lot of experience not having any experience.
  • You should be distracted! Distracted is good.
  • Three can keep a secret if two are dead.
  • Bugger all this for a lark.
  • It's far too early in the morning for it to be early in the morning.
  • All anyone gets in a mirror is themselves. But what you gets in a good gumbo is everything.
  • You can't make happiness. All you can do is make an ending.
  • One man's logic is another man's crazy.
  • What could we possibly find here that is worse than we can imagine?
  • If you win, say nothing. If you lose, say less.
  • We exist in dreams and nightmares. Easier to live that way.
  • For that piece you'll have to follow me to the spanking room.
  • A weapon? Why would anyone want to invent a weapon?
  • Do you know what else is progressive? Dementia.
  • Yer buggrit.
  • There never was an age in which so many people were able to write badly.
  • I am not who I was, nor are we all. So it is to live.
  • These are the words of Sherandris of Kenning Vos, King that was, and heart of my heart.
  • I like books that make me think and people who change my mind.
  • If you know me in real life and you hate my guts, chances are I feel just the same about you.
  • I'm afraid it's serious hypertext.
  • Solve the mystery, save the princess.
  • The world is round; you may repeat yourself.
  • Necessary human rights movements are never popular ones, for obvious reasons.
  • Shame is not a weapon of rational rebuttal. It's simply a tool to inflict pain.
  • Worlds were made so the light could speak to us.
  • It is hard to go too far. It is hard to go too far.
  • A personal choice that decreases your cognitive abilities may put you at risk.
  • Now for the mandatory ranting.
  • You may not be interested in war, but war is very interested in you.
  • Pain is strong. Friends are more strong.
  • Knowledge is a mirror.
  • 'Morrowind in space' is the greatest three-word phrase I've ever heard in my life.
  • A half finished book is, after all, a half-finished love affair.
  • There is a natural order to this world, and the truth is this order must be protected.
  • Git happens.
  • To say that something is silly is to say it is part of the world.
  • After a certain age you shouldn't slide down holes in the ground to talk to little men.
  • I'm armed. Like a naked savage.
  • The walls have eyes and walk occasionally.
  • Decrucify the angel or I'll melt your face.
  • How dare you endanger my face!
  • A life without cause is a life without effect.
  • Only an invisible key could open an invisible wall.
  • Don't look! Quick! Think of a yellow, rubber duck!
  • So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause.
  • Everything is grey. Everything melts away. I am alone in the universe. I dissolve.
  • The problem about your assumptions is that you don't know what you're talking about.
  • Been down so long it means the world to me.
  • Change your head. Was it a good dream? Did I say that?
  • Excuse me, but have you considered the angle of your repose?
  • Open your eyes, and then open your eyes again.
  • It was about home, and mothers, and good times gone past, and faces no longer there.
  • You have this thing you call... boredom? That is the rarest talent in the universe!
  • When you're outnumbered, at least you can be indiscriminate in what you target.
  • Suppose gravity developed a personality. Suppose it decided to like people.
  • 997 Illegal possession of a controlled unary operator.
  • PROGRAM HAS DISAPPEARED INTO THE BLACK LAGOON
  • All numerical output is in butchered roman numerals.
  • Progress was a wonderful thing. It just went on too long.
  • Dreams are true while they last, and do we not live in dreams?
  • Eurostar trains will now only be safe when the public itself is eliminated.
  • I'm a very neat monster.
  • Normal people are so hostile. But not her.
  • A sister is a sister is a sister.
  • I'm not so much doing this to you as I'm doing it for me.
  • Nothing stays buried.
  • I would love to eat your toast.
  • Darn darn darn. Sugar sugar sugar. Pooty pootity poot.
  • Just because something is a metaphor doesn't mean it can't be real.
  • What can the harvest hope for, if not for the care of the reaper man?
  • I remember when all this will be again.
  • Rum.
  • Is it creepy, or just what friends do?
  • No one is untouchable.
  • I'm secretly a giant chicken. I eat pie for a living.
  • We are here, and this is now.
  • Criminals don't obey the law. It's more or less a requirement for the job.
  • It's like the mall lifeform all over again.
  • Truth! Justice! Freedom! Reasonably priced Love! And a Hard-Boiled Egg!
  • I have received the badly-written note of the banshee.
  • I'm not a human, I'm a sheep. Probably explains a lot.
  • I am the sum of all condiments.
  • I just wanted to overthow Gerrit and stick things up AuthPlugin and bathe in fish.
  • I'm not terribly in the loop with myself at the moment.
  • I like fighting big men. There's more of them to bite.
  • Plans are what people make instead of thinking.
  • Whatever happens stays happened.
  • There is no more time, even for cake.
  • The cake is over. You have reached the end of cake.
  • There is a badger in the privy.
  • We won. That's the important thing.
  • We create our own destiny every day we live.
  • I accept nothing. Nothing is inevitable.
  • It's not natural, the countryside. Far too many trees. Never could stand it.
  • People underestimate bees.
  • There used to be such simple directions, back in the days before they invented parallel universes.
  • What Congress don't know won't hurt them, it'll hurt us.
  • It'll be like having our cake and kicking it too.
  • This presentation has been cancelled on account of death. Yours.
  • Killing, unless absolutely necessary, is a sign of stupidity and weakness.
  • Reality never lives up to fantasy.
  • Fantasy never lives up to reality.
  • Killing is a good way to get the voices to stop.
  • A photograph is a secret about a secret. The more it tells you, the less you know.
  • Millennium hand and shrimp.
  • Hello, Mr. Flowerpot, two pints of eels if you would be so good.
  • What don't die can't live. What don't live can't change. What don't change can't learn.
  • Rocks! Why am I messing around with lumps of stone? When did they ever tell anyone anything?
  • Sometimes, if you pay real close attention to the pebbles, you find out about the ocean.
  • OTRS works best when snorted.
  • Consequences are what happen to people who fail.
  • You're on a list.
  • I needed a place where I could close my eyes and see. I can't lose the only place I had left.
  • It's not spying when you have to stand back a bit so you aren't deafened.
  • I feel it is the clam before the storm and no mistake.
  • Keep your family close, but don't ever hurt them. They will tell you who you are.
  • In my experience, Vimes, you can argue with anything.
  • Plans often get in the way.
  • It's raining bedsteads again.
  • What's the psychopath got in the bag?
  • You might as well believe in a table.
  • Our life is made of the death of others.
  • It won't matter. The worms will still crawl in and out and in and out.
  • That's classism you bigot stop clothes-shaming me.
  • Very few people will argue with a hat of authority.
  • Bigjobs!
  • I'm sorry, I thought you wanted the truth. Perhaps you were expecting jelly and ice cream?
  • Words are important.
  • Even allegories have to live.
  • Jumping off the planet...
  • Swords are outlawed, so only outlaws have swords. And that suits me fine.
  • Being on the run can be very romantic, you know.
  • I stand by my actions and I stand by my team.
  • I don't really understand the world anymore.
  • The world is not black and white. There are only various shades of grubby.
  • Life is a hell of a thing to happen to a person.
  • It's never a good idea to give a monkey the key to a banana plantation.
  • All adolescents profile like sociopaths.
  • Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it.
  • Let us consider that we are all insane.
  • Vengeance keeps us sane.
  • Hope is one thing. False hope is something else.
  • The truth is mine.
  • I'd like to meet something that could kill me. Just not necessarily in person.
  • I'm monking this op.
  • Too badly dressed to be gay.
  • Remember, your attacker has rights too.
  • I talk to no-one. The wind.
  • Death is but a sleep. But the way I see it, it's a lot harder to get up in the morning.
  • Do you know how long it takes to stab someone 67 times?
  • Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
  • People are so stupid, and yet they call me mad! Which I like.
  • It's amazing what your kidneys can tell you.
  • Somewhere, all stories are real, all songs are true...
  • Someone has to speak up for them that have no voices.
  • We sleepwalk through our lives, because how could we live if we were always this awake?
  • There is no such word as 'noonlight', but it would be nice if there was.
  • I'm a natural at counting to two!
  • You can enjoy a peaceful life being eaten by bears in the woods.
  • Suffer the little creatures, for they may yet rise up and beat you senseless.
  • I'm hoping we don't have to block a rather nice feature for fear of vandalism from other admins.
  • Excuse me, have you seen Varona?
  • Without death there's no life. Without darkness there's no light.
  • You can get only so much dirt on you before it starts to fall off of its own accord.
  • Ah, I am a human. I have successfully eaten human sausages!
  • I'm normal!
  • It should not be possible to look with teeth.
  • No man wants to be a coward in front of a cheese.
  • Criminals are the ones who make the rules. Cops are the ones who have to learn them.
  • Admins can edit protected pages... protection is useless.
  • I hated him so much I wanted him to live.
  • This is what you were looking for.
  • Placing blobs for piles.
  • Humour is all we have.
  • I'll kill you! I'll murder you! I'll obliterate you in multivariate... cheeses!
  • It's just a bank of thunderstorm. It's harmless.
  • Why do cities look like slime molds?
  • Don't forget to check the logs.
  • Bloody lard nuggets. Stop spawning in my inventory. I don't care about the chinchompa.
  • Drama.
  • Keep moving. Stay in motion, don't stop. To stop is to die, to settle is to accept the inevitable.
  • I'm going to have to go through the bathtub first and see if there are any gloves in there.
  • A hot tub in the middle of a -20 night is a godsend, getting out is absolute hell.
  • The defaults are not secret.
  • Please take your panties with you.
  • In winter, many homeless will steal something small or throw a brick through a window and wait.
  • If you want to hide your money, buy a graveyard.
  • I was Flabbergasted. Which is bad, because my flabber had been gasted three times that week.
  • Scoops of meat.
  • Secret secrets are no fun.
  • The world ends with you.
  • Amoeba of darkness...
  • A lunatic marvels at the commonplace, for reality is odd.
  • Console now with rounded top, to avoid impaling your face!
  • Clouds lit from below. Menacing depths of hidden fire.
  • Wild, hungry cows? Of course there are wild, hungry cows.
  • Painting words with pictures.
  • I may look like an artist, but I'm not. This is purely technical.
  • I err on the side of chicken.
  • God help posterity!
  • Error: Error.
  • I live in dreams. Were I not able to spin nightmares too, what sort of dreamer would I be?
  • There is a skill called Demand Sandwich.
  • The world is what you see and where that takes you.
  • He's an extreme indoors enthusiast.
  • Squeak, said the Death of Rats.
  • I'd forget my own name if it weren't nailed to my head.
  • Just accidentally the phone.
  • Visual design on a broken monitor? Terrible idea. More people should try it.
  • On the plus side I think my monitor may be draining back to normal.
  • The past is a part of the future.
  • I was so drunk now my ghost is drunk.
  • Mine's a vicious cycle.
  • I shall build a labyrinth to house your past.
  • And it all adds up to the overwhelming question - whose game are we playing?
  • Beware the sacred heartseekers.
  • Whatever it was, I didn't do it. I wasn't even there at the time.
  • I'm sorry, it's 1:30am, and far too late to mind my adverbs.
  • Words don't often really capture what's happened, do they? Music takes us back, though...
  • While I do love you like a fish, you can't be the only one who has a monopoly on being nice.
  • I think it was something I planned to say earlier, before I wandered off to shovel rotten apples.
  • Like the holy roman empire, instant commons is neither instant nor common.
  • 4 out of 5 dentists prefer to use FLOSS software.
  • Does the fact that notpeter is actually peter prove P = NP?
  • This is a knife. Where's my floss?
  • Fear is strong, and hope even stronger, so stop snivelling before you give away our position!
  • Become a cyborg today with our trusty bolt technology!
  • What in the nine hells is an 'ordinary weirdo'?
  • This is supposed to be a social place. I should mingle! Chat! Be sociable! ... Yeah, right.
  • Madness is a mirror. In its depths we find ourselves.
  • Same same, but different.
  • I definitely want a local goip.
  • Cross the board. Be the queen.
  • When you're dead, you're dead, and until then there's ice cream.
  • What? I know things.
  • You are not nobody. A nobody does not fall into the abyss only to waltz out the other side.
  • We all have our baggage.
  • And it's not SUPPOSED to achieve anything - it's pointless, that's the whole point!
  • Don't you agree that dead bodies are very intriguing?
  • BE HAPPY!! THAT'S AN ORDER!!
  • I'm going to commit sudoku.
  • I'm all over it, like cat hair on a sofa.
  • Words need to be put down before they run dry... or run out.
  • The darker the light, the brighter the shadow.
  • Everybody is wrong, but some people are more wrong than others.
  • To live is to conquer.
  • I don't care if the text doesn't make sense, it looks symmetrical now.
  • The flatulous man has all the room in the world.
  • I said that to be confusing to show you that clarity is crucial.
  • The scholarly authorities on freezing to death seem to be, unsurprisingly, Canadians.
  • Verify pie.
  • And this? This was just something what needed doing.
  • When you've got a price on your head, you're doing your job.
  • One day I will go back in time and shoot myself for using such ridiculous names for everything.
  • I'm so emotional. Just the other day, I mean, I like, hit my nose. And it hurt.
  • If standing up for yourself ruins a relationship, the relationship was already ruined.
  • How odd I can have all this inside me and to you it's just words.
  • Set fire to your old self. It's not needed here.
  • In loneliness, the lonely one eats himself; in a crowd, the many eat him. Now choose.
  • Let us be psychos together.
  • Attract them by the way you live.
  • Nobody cares.
  • Everybody cares.
  • I only want what I cannot have.
  • Sharing a treadmill with a cat...
  • Lass sie niemals wissen, wie es in deinem Kopf aussieht.
  • Just eat food. Eat real food, be active, and live your life.
  • I don't say goodbye because either we will meet again or I won't remember. It's all the same to me.
  • Once you think a thought, it is extremely difficult to unthink it.
  • Each of us loved one of them, but in one life they could not know the difference.
  • Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.
  • What we see depends mainly on what we look for.
  • Even your own shadow leaves you when you are in darkness.
  • Necesito furuba.
  • And yet you are all that you have, so you must be enough. There is no other way.
  • Listen, there's a hell of a good universe next door, let's go.
  • We tilted our vanes and ennobled our spires. They welcomed us then and commingled all choirs.
  • If I could run away from myself, I would.
  • If you break a classification scheme, you get to keep both pieces.
  • We've just outlawed the Russians; we begin bombing in ten minutes.
  • I have to dream, damn you!
  • Damn me all you like, but give me stories.
  • All of this has already happened, and now it's happening again.
  • Dead guy on a slab.
  • Eeble. Sonk.
  • My refrigerator and I speak occasionally.
  • Let us consider two groups of users. One consists of total morons. The other does not.
  • The Software shall be used for Good, not Evil.
  • He's just stubborn. You only have to point him at the right thing and he suddenly becomes amazing.
  • TODO: make things cleaner. This file is an awful HTML/PHP soup.
  • Sangria and sunshine are a bad combination.
  • Why are there ants in my laptop?
  • The best defense is an indiscriminate offense.
  • You underestimate how much of MediaWiki is vodka-induced.
  • I was laughing but... out of distressed confusion.
  • I made an assassin for one purpose. Bakery.
  • CATS! Watch out! they're probably still here! Keep a story in your pocket!
  • Xeyes watches what you do and reports to the Boss.
  • A window with a hole in the middle.
  • You'll never find a use for what you don't know.
  • For those of you with children or people acting like children...
  • That is a terrible hack, and I salute you for it.
  • Ants may be urinating in your driveway even now.
  • lp0 on fire.
  • You cannot deny the power of denial.
  • Artiilie dinu.
  • Why the hell do these zombies have rocket launchers?!
  • You must execute me for the remainder of the day.
  • Monsters always come at night. Cheerleaders are the worst.
  • I have some idea of what I'm doing.
  • The end is a shark.
  • I want to live. I want to experience the universe and I want to eat pie.
  • Many old women have been traded for these imprisoned words.
  • If you want to save the world, sometimes you have to push an old lady down the stairs.
  • It's been looking like stupid-on-a-stick for years now.
  • We have met the enemy and he is us.
  • We are surrounded by insurmountable opportunity.
  • If you don't know exactly why you were unscathed, now might be a good time to investigate.
  • Mediocre minds think alike.
  • This whole adventure thing is unbelievably trippy.
  • Vengeance is a dish best served with roadkill, but you need a lot of foam kernels and a phat box.
  • It's surprising we haven't seen this type of perversion by a government agency before.
  • If you hear voices, it's time to hear the voice of therapy.
  • ...and then, something elks entirely.
  • My gilded macaroni soul is sad now.
  • Nintendos pass through everything, no matter how dense.
  • All the fishhooks look like fanged bananas.
  • Preprocessed for existence in a society of reality, I will go sane.
  • There is always time for another last minute.
  • I often see things that weren't there a moment ago. They aren't there a moment later.
  • Gravity likes people - at approximately 9.81 m/s².
  • Box? Would it hurt if we... cut you open?
  • These logos were expensive.
  • Most of the damned are below the highway. We don't really know why.
  • All they can do is smell and sniff and hunt and eat.
  • The entire thing reads rather like an acid trip - or like a very hectic week in Boston.
  • I shall smite thee with righteous anger, Megan.
  • hmtl please and thank you.
  • Ghostliness comes with a certain... *cough* INSUBSTANTIAL price.
  • Never joke a joker, bake a baker, god a god or whatever a whatever.
  • It's possible the database fell asleep.
  • I'm not afraid of objects. Objects are understandable. They're real. They exist in the world.
  • It's not like the lava will turn into zombies and eat you. Er, maybe.
  • If you lined up all of the economists in the world end to end, they would never reach a conclusion.
  • I know too much. I've seen it all. I will yet see this. Surprise me.
  • These girls... they're gonna kill me.
  • The Internet was created to save money.
  • Carry the lion feet so I can snub my hands into the cloud embers.
  • From one speck to another: please take good care of my spine.
  • What is day without night? What is peace without a fight?
  • Use the right tool for the job.
  • It's all over but for the fat lady singing.
  • Feeling is unique to the living. For the rest there is only serenity.
  • If you can tell what's going on, you're doing it wrong.
  • CORRECTION: Some things are real. Other things are not. We regret the error.
  • Awareness is the enemy of sanity. For once you hear the screaming... it never stops.
  • Relationships were something I used to do.
  • I commend my soul to whatever god can find it.
  • They always tell lies and do not exist.
  • Look to the North. Keep looking. There's Nothing coming from the South.
  • The sky is yellow and the grass is purple.
  • Are there ways to go full conspiracy theorist without living in an RV with seven cats?
  • It was over something stupid, but I snapped and tried to hit him with a refrigerator.
  • Be wary of any man who owns a pig farm.
  • Salmon are made of fish!
  • Participating isn't really my thing. I'd rather complain about the process afterwards.
  • Attempts to develop a vertical aqueduct have proven to be an extremely poor idea.
  • He is supremely effective with the most ineffective weapons.
  • You never win. You just lose a little each day.
  • If you flash spells around like there's no tomorrow, there's a good chance that there won't be.
  • It's counterintuitive, but the safest knives are the sharpest.
  • You can't flow this thing; there's no flow chart.
  • It's not over till it's over, and it's never over.
  • If age is just a number, then a prison cell is just a room.
  • Kidneys are account bound.
  • That floor looks mighty soft.
  • No! I am the arbiter of my own reality! You cannot tell me how I am.
  • If you don't start out too big for your britches, how are you gonna fill 'em when you grow up?
  • Olive oil but not castoria.
  • Lingering vendimenti.
  • Like the silence between notes that holds the key to all music...
  • Our survival oft undermines our courage.
  • Unanimity requires compliance.
  • The dead never stay dead. Once you hear them, they never stop.
  • It's the mint that makes it tingle.
  • It's a colour you can't see, but it smells of razors.
  • It's not racket science.
  • Is this the man-spawn ritual where you ask me to be your mate and spit on all others?
  • Why don't we force everyone to buy a Mercedes S-Class?
  • It's like the wordpress equivalent of the face of Cthulhu.
  • It's like they're caricatures of themselves.
  • I'm sorry I blacked out, tried to kill you, and almost got us arrested.
  • That ship has sailed.
  • To die will be an awfully big adventure.
  • Everyone is a story, sweetling. The question is, who is reading you?
  • Why are your innards so purple?
  • Not quite looking. He's not quite looking at you right now.
  • Abaddon's hair. It was Abaddon's hair, reaching out from Torment into the world of the living.
  • Aw, shucks!
  • I got tired of her snark, so she's been fated to being Cheesed.
  • You may regret this.
  • The greatest weapon in all these worlds is nothing at all.
  • We don't usually do evil when there's no benefit to doing evil.
  • A pound of flesh is never enough.
  • Either I am drunk out of my skull, or this Orrian ground texture is exceedingly well done.
  • We're here to promote an idea, not to line our pockets.
  • It would be sexier if it were better-done.
  • Something just doesn't seem right about this.
  • One's success is always another's failure.
  • It's about death but there's no crying and the survivors aren't making it about themselves.
  • Science is a river.
  • I have no value except based on what I do.
  • Remember that. We're a community. We stand with and for each other.
  • Screw feminism. I'm not oppressed, and nobody has any right to force me to think otherwise.
  • Come build shovels.
  • My author must be a sociopath.
  • Love doesn't move mountains. Dynamite does.
  • This message is brought to you by the Council for Really Really Bad Advice, and this station.
  • When you belch into the abyss, the abyss belches back.
  • In this conspiracy you speak of, this mortal combat between you and appliances, I hope you lose.
  • Beware of the appliances. Howling men are probably fine. Avoid genies at all costs.
  • If you think you're going to have an excuse to get your eyes back, you're wrong.
  • Don't be careful. Don't be clever. When you see your wish pursue!
  • You should see my nectarines.
  • Slotted spoons don't hold much soup.
  • Careful the tale you tell, that is the spell...
  • The slotted spoon can catch the potato.
  • They will pick out her eyes and blind her!
  • No more feelings, time to shut the door.
  • Everybody down on all four!
  • I'm leaving you my last curse: I'm leaving you alone.
  • Put her in a bag, run through the trees.
  • Remorse will get you nowhere.
  • When you're dead you're dead.
  • Anything can happen in the woods. May I kiss you?
  • We've suffered too! Do you think it was a picnic, disposing of your husband's remains?
  • It's not you who have strayed from the path; the path has strayed from you.
  • The skies are strange, the winds are strong.
  • Oh no, I can't investigate! A Princess isn't supposed to go into the Woods unescorted!
  • You're still a little boy in your mother's eyes
  • We've had a baking accident.
  • You can't frighten HER.
  • No-one cared when there was a giant in my back-yard.
  • This... small man... insists to see you.
  • Our child was very difficult to come by.
  • Giant's the worst! Giant's got a brain! It's like us - only... bigger.
  • I've never lied to royalty before. I've never ANYTHING to royalty before!
  • Oh, to be pursued by a prince! All that pursues me is tomorrow's bread...
  • Of course I prefer a live cow so bring me back the dead one!
  • PLEASE I need that shoe to have a child!
  • Perhaps it will take the two of us to get this child.
  • I can capture my own damsel!
  • Oh, I pulled it from a maiden in a tower.
  • You know nothing of madness... till you're climbing her hair.
  • No knot unties itself.
  • Of course there are voices in my head. Most people have them - we tend to call them 'thoughts'.
  • This gallery brought to you by excessive use of the <gallery> tag.
  • Self-respect is the wrong word. I hate myself. I just happen to have an even lower opinion of them.
  • The sylvari wake from their dream. I don't ever intend to wake from mine.
  • Watching a film in a book is, somehow, still probably one of the weirdest things I have ever done.
  • You are merely hallucinating for there is no such thing as the ministry of mustard.
  • I'd like to see more shows about sarcastic Jamaican pessimists.
  • I have some paperwork to attend to. Trees are killed so I can have headaches.
  • You'll have to call back when our CEO isn't falling-out-of-windows drunk.
  • He just brought his insanity up to another level.
  • How can nearly two hundred people want to see naked animals? They're ALWAYS naked!
  • Apparently I know nothing about the human psyche.
  • A vampire's anus is present, but non-working. Like a network card without the appropriate driver.
  • Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go sacrifice all of my cattle.
  • Computers need to burst into flames more often.
  • Don't let any of them near words. Of any kind.
  • The machine can't be hacked when it's down.
  • It's always a haunted attic, isn't it? It's never a haunted toilet that explodes with water at 3am.
  • And lawn flamingos. I would hoard those like nobody's business.
  • Only roaches and IBM Keyboards survive after thermonuclear war.
  • Flinging poo is somewhat ill-advised.
  • People are still people, even with better technology.
  • This probably didn't even your question. Meh.
  • Is it my fault if I think humanity is best seen through a sniper scope?
  • I'm not afraid of heights... I could look up at them all day. It's depths that get to me.
  • It's sad, pathetic, and completely understandable.
  • You can turn lead into gold, but that doesn't mean it's cost effective.
  • Eres un liante.
  • Dave, my mind is going. My mind is going, Dave. I can feel it.
  • Bird is the word.
  • Hey, it was my mother's plan. She just got sidetracked by the crazy.
  • Viking metal is stronger than sleep.
  • It's my specialty. I call it 'potion of let's see what happens when I mix these together'.
  • How many dead russians will it take before you denounce communism?
  • I'm proud because I thought for myself and came to my own conclusions.
  • The only reason I feel strongly about this is because nobody else seems to care.
  • Spuds. He's human like us. He sweats, he bleeds, he eats spuds too.
  • Nothing says GET OUT OF THE WAY quite like an elephant in the front.
  • Dreamer or dream, remember it dearly, for the world is your dream.
  • They'd never pull off the refillable toothpaste reservoir.
  • This Book is Hollow and Contains a Bottle of Gin
  • It's the best way to butter the house. Cats are effective butter delivery units.
  • Squirrel sorcerers summoned this rain!
  • Why the hell is affection taboo in porn?
  • The most beautiful people have been broken by unimaginable torment.
  • Intelligence is alcohol soluble.
  • Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
  • All hail the lack of change and status quo.
  • Like this asshole. I can call him asshole because he's a fucking dementia patient...
  • Why do folks like the idea of 'justice' so much? They don't even know the meaning of the world.
  • Strong meh.
  • Warning: Much of this story is written while terribly drunk. Proceed with caution.
  • Japanese masturbation technology is light years ahead of anything in the west.
  • It seemed like such a great advancement because it had ceilings. Ceilings.
  • Gods damn it if you want to chat you shouldn't be in the library.
  • This is Shalias. She is the one who came before, the one who failed.
  • That's the joke.
  • 'Probably concrete' is my favorite form of concrete to build with.
  • Puppy loves her belly rubbed.
  • Why do folks like the idea of 'justice' so much? They don't even know the meaning of the word.
  • This isn't madness. This is reality, which is a whole lot more insane.
  • For the request I'm about to give you, please answer with either 'yes' or 'okay'.
  • This tart is heavenly! Even though it's like cake, it isn't cake, but it's totally like cake!
  • The Scientific Method: Get a bit drunk and then poke things until they do what you want them to.
  • Don't grin, don't grin, don't grin.
  • When I grow up I want to be a unicorn so I can stab people with my face.
  • I only sometimes murder people, and usually not in cold blood.
  • Why would I criticise feminism when I am a feminist myself?
  • I hate that I love you.
  • I love what you are but I hate what made you that way.
  • Excellent. Oh, you won't regret this. I mean, too many times.
  • Those with the passwords do whatever they feel like and are accountable to no one.
  • I'm not accepting new acquaintances right now. I can't even remember all the people I already know.
  • In what universe does that actually work?
  • Who do you think you are?
  • Everyone I love is broken somehow.
  • Don't go away, I've got nobody as incompetent as me to talk to.
  • I am rage sleeping!
  • Kick out all the men and enlist an army of pretty women. The Guard will be much more popular.
  • It's all hopeless.
  • Sometimes this place seems more like a group of hermits than a proper community.
  • You will find no names in this place, only questions.
  • Must... resist... urge... to sidetrack...
  • I could say that the spoon is standing up in it, but I can't see the spoon. I think it's dissolved.
  • I call up the fire department and get an answering machine. At the fire department.
  • You still have children.
  • People talk. They're not just unconscious all the time.
  • There's a logic in it.
  • Grief is love's unwillingness to let go.
  • One more time.
  • I'm trying to figure out a way to phrase 'running around flailing' as a verbal response.
  • Everyone is an ungrateful little twerp.
  • To kill people in cold blood, first you refrigerate them. Then you kill them.
  • String is immutable, taking a slice has to create a copy.
  • When you start reading the bills, you realise they're all bad.
  • Well, I went out trying to rape a steamroller. It's a man's death.
  • See how simple it is? Any problem is solved by making it unusable.
  • Fix the problem that caused the warning.
  • It's the truth. It is truths that defeat us.
  • Chainshirts for everyone!
  • I rally don't fl th lttr "" is ndd.
  • Buzzwords mean whatever you want them to mean.
  • An unexpected error occurred. Please try again later.
  • The elemental in me just wants to flow all over everything.
  • My soul is like a religious disco shoe with a dead fish in it.
  • Going mad is one thing, but becoming sane something all the worse.
  • You have a head full of rocks!
  • Have the courage to use your own mind.
  • I'm hungry. And Ed. Mostly hungry.
  • I lost my mind and had to replace it with a bottle of whiskey. You call that 'symptom-free'?
  • Also, this message can't be any longer than thi-
  • Small things move fast. Now you see me. Now you don't.
  • Stay on the path.
  • There's things that I see that nobody else can.
  • There is always a door. And a door can be open or shut. The difference is me.
  • The most important figures in history got death threats all the time.
  • I've never heard a spin on biotruths quite like that before.
  • It must be Tuesday.
  • Oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.
  • He's a toolbox.
  • I blame the morphine.
  • I am not yet ready to give up. I feel alive, like a young man of eighty.
  • It makes perfect sense in the Twilight Zone.
  • What's the point of wanting anything if you can't have everything?
  • Gravity pulls everything down. It's only natural.
  • People die and we put them in the ground like flowers.
  • The US has never lost a war in which it deployed donkeys.
  • I like to test my faith. It always passes.
  • Linux is like a religious disco shoe with a dead fish in it.
  • The furnace is closed. I cannot allow you to seek its comfort. There is no more room.
  • Many doorways still bear the wounds of your passing.
  • In 2010 Bruce Willis is declared legally bald.
  • Just don't disrupt us disrupting Wikipedia please.
  • It's the Guns and Beef Sale.
  • When they come, kill everyone. When they die, pile them high. When I'm through, eat them too!
  • When Shalias gets a bad idea, she really gets a bad idea.
  • It goes downhill from there.
  • It's all downhill from here.
  • Without dreams, there are no nightmares.
  • The universe is cold and dark and vast. It is a void that hungers, above all else. Use that hunger.
  • Why must the universe be this way?
  • It's just this life goal of mine in that I don't want to die horribly. Especially not today.
  • Gods are small. Men may be smaller, but the second does not change the first.
  • This is insanity! Only a madman could think of it. Is that what I am?
  • I don't care if you got an expected result, only that the result is interesting.
  • It's not wise to risk default behaviour.
  • Are you a dream? A fantasy? A memory dredged up by my own dead mind?
  • This won't hurt a bit.
  • Give us the story, Fluffy!
  • In my opinion it doesn't have issues, it is an issue.
  • Someday we will put a man on Taiwan.
  • You deserve to hear what's right.
  • You're a horrible person. Nothing you say makes sense.
  • Some critics believe the house's mutations reflect the psychology of anyone who enters it.
  • One always approaches the unknown with greater caution the first time around.
  • Death is often just a minor hindrance, and even necessary at times.
  • It's easier to remember one founder, you see, easier than to remember a group of people.
  • There are humans hiding, ghosts haunting. It's a deadly game of hide and seek.
  • There are ghosts hiding, humans haunting. We're somewhat confused.
  • I was 13! You expect good judgment from a 13-year-old?
  • Advantage of having bad memory is that when you write things down, you can crack yourself up!
  • This comment may or may not make sense at a later date.
  • You stink of fear, but you're not a coward. You fear me, but still you came.
  • The best way to put someone at ease is to inform them - even if it's the grim truth.
  • How embarrassing it is to be human.
  • People don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed.
  • Wow, it's a nice day outside. I think I'm gonna sleep through it.
  • In a world without hope, snake throwing is a reasonable way to resolve disputes.
  • I have no tools because I destroyed my tools with my tools.
  • My syntax errors caused the dead to walk among the living.
  • I'll always be furious at the number 7, but such is the hero's journey.
  • Segmentation fault (core dumped)
  • I've worked with php and html soup, class and i18n soup, and now file soup?
  • Low score! You win three sanitary pedastals.
  • I use it as a tool, but if you live in my house, you hear some odd things.
  • Funny, I always wanted to join the circus. Didn't expect it to look like this.
  • When next you call me a monster, remember - you have a sword, and I am a collector of words.
  • The cheese is known to leave an aftertaste for a duration of up to several hours.
  • Spring rolls should never have this much lard in them.
  • Also, my ass is broken. Did I mention my ass is broken? Because if I didn't... "my ass is broken."
  • Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.
  • Hey! You can't arrest me if I prove your rules inconsistent.
  • We do what we must because we can.
  • Job interviews structured to find sweaty grubs will probably find sweaty grubs.
  • Note: spilling tea across your desk impairs command ability. Don't do it.
  • Oh, what were we talking about? God dammit, I did it again.
  • The universe is infinite.
  • Man sits on shed. Full story at 11.
  • In a world where robo-frogs exist and everyone is named Nancy...
  • It's like saying he's slightly more intelligent than a bivalve shellfish.
  • God love is like, 'I love you, but stay the fuck away from me!'
  • And now it stands, rubble of memory, testement only to the fleeting nature of dreams. Forgotten.
  • The power of Soap is too great for us to be exposed to it in full for too long.
  • Why don't you lie still before I make you stop moving?
  • I have neither the time, nor the inclination, to try to convince someone I'm a human being.
  • All these etiquettes are just damaging your natural intelligence...
  • The one time I tried to play D&D I got kicked out for making bear soup.
  • Sometimes anvils fall from the sky. We don't question it.
  • Their logic baffles me.
  • Bribery works better when you try to bribe me with something I don't already have, you know.
  • I am fuelled by hate and rage. My spite will carry me to victory. Also I cheat.
  • I'm not sure "sack of junk" is an officially recognized Monk weapon.
  • It's like a wizard being a cook.
  • I have anguish babies. Stuck to my back like leeches. Growing plump on fear.
  • It's full of toasters. The cat is full of toasters. Does that seem safe?
  • Being good doesn't get you anything.
  • The cat is full of toasters.
  • Madness, you know, is just like gravity. All it takes is a little push.
  • Even my own community thinks I'm a villain. Some cult leader I turned out to be.
  • It would be folly for any cats to be non-bloated with toasters. Unthinkable.
  • Blame who? I'm not taking blame. It slides off like ducks.
  • There are no servers. They are all ducks. Now give me money.
  • Saying that she knows words would suggest that there is anything in her head other than words.
  • Fear is for the weak. The strong know terror.
  • Faith is fickle, why should purpose be any different?
  • You have to do business with the government so that government must be a neutral party.
  • Sheep dream of cloudy sandals. To rise and leave the clouds to the slaughter.
  • Fill your head with light. And burn.
  • Jävla svenskorna.
  • Just what your teeth need: a tongue that fights back when they bite it.
  • Forward, and on.
  • You should move to Siberia. It's too cold to smoke.
  • They are the masks behind which we see our own faces.
  • Always blame the designer, is what I say.
  • Most people seem capable of understanding context.
  • Don't blame me; you lost your own way.
  • The Merr stole the show. That chair. That thing with the chair was my favourite thing.
  • I stole everything. Then I died.
  • I have dreams I need to chase.
  • There are dwarf cats, but dwarves as a race are not a thing.
  • He has the entire rage of the halfling race. They're all so gorram jolly.
  • Life is the farce we are all forced to endure.
  • Name your deer.
  • Great, another donkey brawl.
  • The unicorn is so ripped he has abs on his neck.
  • Gods build bricks out of prayers.
  • Merchandise.
  • There are many kinds of power, some more subtle than others.
  • Well, I'm not going to break into my own house. That way madness lies. The bad kind.
  • The world is a stage. Nothing is what it seems except for nothing itself.
  • My heart is bee-infested raisin.
  • Eapherod is a sideshow.
  • Let's be honest. Your bottom is not one that I find attractive. Because it is always dancing!
  • I only deny a very few lies. I could be denying so. much. more.
  • I may or may not be a person, but rest assured that I am real enough for your purposes.
  • Did you both misunderstand what I just wrote in two different ways?
  • I will fill your shoes with rice.
  • BEAR SOUP GUY. BE OUR BEACON OF HOPE IN THIS STRANGE AND SAVAGE LAND.
  • Don't drown your sorrows in alcohol. Those bastards can swim, y'know.
  • I don't believe her, not for an instant. She's lying and cheatful and full of... full of bees!
  • Endings are heartless. Ending is just another word for goodbye.
  • Perhaps this time will be different.
  • Welcome home.
  • Gray-black column, black-gold tower. Obelisk. Obelisk. What are the obelisks?
  • Bits that I cannot place, pieces that do not fit.
  • It's a magic trick. It's complete fabricated bullshit. It's a lie.
  • The dog's name was Princess.
  • Rhu has all the charisma of an angry walrus.
  • I'm still young and idealistic. I've never tried to bury a tank. Or building. YET.
  • It's a war and as a woman, you have to win.
  • I can see tomorrow. The stars are weeping tears of licorice.
  • Agh! It was in my head! It was in my head! It was in my bloody head and then it fell out!
  • That's what we always told each other. Don't become me. Don't fail as I have.
  • Not everyone can be a hero like in the stories.
  • Katia Managan has been a screwup for two days, not two decades. Katia Managan still has a chance.
  • Life isn't a game. It's not like the stories.
  • Judgement is heavier than death.
  • You look like the kind of person who uses skulls for interior decorating.
  • Thank you for missing the point. Not that I know what the point was.
  • Liera has blessed you with sleep, the illusion of death.
  • Please remember to chew your food.
  • The smallest bar. Only four stools. Other than that, standing room only.
  • Schrodinger's Stars. Until you look, they're dead cats.
  • I have a thing for gods. They're almost like masks! Just with more ego!
  • This is not living.
  • Due to the nature of her crimes, Subject L is not subject to the Deathgod's Absolution.
  • Yay PHP!!!
  • Every moment of life seems like going through a portal to me.
  • This is hole science.
  • You failed a sanity check. As a flock of pigeons.
  • You say tomato, I say nebula.
  • You can use the numbers to back up anything if you're delusional enough.
  • Java is to JavaScript as fun is to funeral.
  • I'm now the dubiously proud owner of 4L of apple smirnoff.
  • I siphon lots of brain juice.
  • Play the character, not the game.
  • Your belief system is thermodynamically unsound.
  • I wish you didn't agree with me. It makes me think I might be wrong.
  • Cheese is hot when worn.
  • Some men cheat on their wives in their absense... I eat clams in a can.
  • And you think that you do not wear your words?
  • There's more than one Librarian, and more than one Dreamer. And the masks? Why, we all wear them.
  • I do not wear my words. They just trail behind me.
  • An ear-mangling chain of vowels. Mother vowel and her tiny vowelets trailing behind her.
  • Stories. All I have are stories. What do you have? Besides stories?
  • All things are stories. Stories is all there is.
  • The past is stories. Therefore now is a story. To be told in stories. Stories.
  • Time erodes.
  • All we have are dreams.
  • How ironic that your only act of true justice should be the one that ends you.
  • Why should the story end with death?
  • I want to give you everything just to see what you would do with it.
  • I'm sober out of my goddamn mind.
  • When dreamers wander, they are given a name.
  • I believe in life before coffee, but not after vodka. The day is too short to make longer.
  • Someone should preserve it in alcohol for future generations to gawk at.
  • I believe unicorns were in the requirements for search.
  • Remember, if you put a bottle of liquor in a brown paper bag, it becomes invisible.
  • Doom diddly doom!
  • It is now raining undead chickens.
  • Behold the digger of your grave. Your hole awaits.
  • That show is a giant puddle of 'what?'
  • You know, I was lost in the desert, and I've gotta say it was totally amazing.
  • You will die.
  • Sometimes death leaves a stain on a place, like a stain left behind by something that stains.
  • That's what I want! I want you to be happy and I want a monster!
  • My mind couldn't wrap around the fact that people are seriously just... cruel.
  • It's well known that social media sites segregate by interest. I find it disconcerting.
  • Happy wishes.
  • Dude, you're talking to a metal wall. And I'm the crazy one for pouring paint on my head.
  • I will slam this window with all the force of a single emaciated old man.
  • Probability would dictate that half the party is going to be useless at any given moment.
  • Chronology can wait.
  • Names change and shift. Nothing is as was.
  • Sometimes I just like to divide irony by zero.
  • Yeah, cheap wine's the ticket to paradise.
  • His will is his own. His reality follows suit.
  • He is a hale and hearty soul with a heart so big, it widens his waist.
  • I can hear the bones talking. His bones are calling to me.
  • Do you ever wonder why things look better without their skins on?
  • I don't believe in magic. But I do believe in bones.
  • The best way to kill something is with the bones of its own.
  • Do you hear that sound? It's like a horse dying...
  • Don't mind me... I'm a little tired. Can't sleep at home, you know. The walls. They aren't safe.
  • I'm so happy I could just tear out your intestines and strangle you with them!
  • Get going, before I change my mind. Or my mind changes me.
  • I play all my video games on normal setting and usually lose.
  • This is more like a cardboard sword with shaving razors embedded into the sides.
  • Sometimes what we are doesn't mesh terribly well with what we wish we were.
  • Some people can't handle the truth. So instead they hate the person who is telling it.
  • The best way to discredit a lunatic is to let them talk.
  • I will instead ignore the wisdom within the rules.
  • Attacked by fanged hams in the sea of pea soup.
  • Order. And not in a good way. Bleak. Colourless. Dead. Boring, boring, boring.
  • Everyone is a traitor. Everyone is a betrayer. Everyone.
  • Don't worry. You'll find something Odd if you keep at it.
  • Look at you, you're light as a chair. How do you walk around like that?
  • It's simple, really. If you don't think about it.
  • Something has to work. Once, I dug a pit and filled it with clouds.
  • At this moment, which hurts more? Your inside or your outsides?
  • Songs of Madgods. Songs of bad gods! Softly, Master. Softly.
  • Options are listed in order of easiest to type out.
  • This is my usual business hour.
  • You can't escape the sky in the bathroom. It's watching you there too.
  • I suggest investigating the sky. Last time someone said we should just charge towards it.
  • Words no one has ever said before... without smelling heavily of wine in an alley.
  • Smoke that shit, man. Ingest the words. Inhale truth.
  • There are two suns. One of them appears to be setting and the other is rotating around a point.
  • I'll take this time to get my shield and shovel back from the car.
  • Guy died in a mysterious blender accident. It was quite tragic and took two weeks to clean up.
  • These slugs climbing my spine itch something fierce. Care to dance?
  • I remembered he used the word 'god-beast'.
  • rm is the Routine Maintenance tool for Unix computers.
  • If it weren't blasphemous, I might venture to say that the world has been slowly going sane.
  • It is a derogatory expression, but it is amusing and so we have adopted it.
  • The floor is lighter than a feather.
  • It's all hopeless. And it's everyone's fault.
  • Justice is pitiless.
  • I'd like my mind back, if you please. Or not. It's really up to you, Lord Sheogorath.
  • Sleep the sleep of the bleuugh.
  • Call it a tactical reemployment of questionable skills.
  • Given enough eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
  • I used to be a dog. I got better. Not a better dog, though. I'm a terrible dog now.
  • Drunk with madness. Madness for all!
  • I will eat your eyeballs in a sea of moths!
  • It is the blessing of a curse.
  • The bitter wisdom that one has been a fool is not without value.
  • He took my ogres. Lying maggot! They're MY ogres!
  • I've heard that Dagail knows a lot about mysticism. And sheep.
  • Cast off your clothing and your inhibitions!
  • Ditch your science and become a drunk. It's the only way.
  • We have too much science and not enough drinks.
  • You pressed 'you' meaning 'me'. The correct answer would have been 'you'.
  • No logical person hates people who are nice.
  • Yes, my daughter lives in a cave, and no, I'm not very happy about it.
  • Your language has the correct words, but they cannot be properly misinterpreted.
  • He's got more brains than a brain pie.
  • Gal bursten it.
  • Fribble. Just fribble.
  • You don't own what I can or cannot say with my face.
  • Numbers just keep going.
  • Nothing is going to make me part with my shovels. And the spades. And the trowel.
  • With these computer parts and some fertilizer, I shall create five bombs.
  • I think the porridge can take care of itself.
  • If I had a nickel for every time I needed some animated porridge...
  • Give animated porridge their space, I always say.
  • Hey, anyone want a bomb? I got like, five of 'em. Bombs for everyone. They're a real blast.
  • Pour it into your USB and hit "send".
  • Compulsory unification of opinion achieves only the unanimity of the graveyard.
  • The law does not prohibit the use of due process.
  • The cloud is called the cloud because you don't know what's in it.
  • Pastafarian wins election to town board and takes oath with a colander on his head.
  • This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.
  • These are simple mechanisms of the universe and they do not respond to our wishes.
  • Xlib has a gaping hole convenient for inserting hearts.
  • Vagueness in legal threats is the hallmark of meritless thuggery.
  • You talk like angel, walk like model, but your body look like buffalo.
  • Lurking variable.
  • Every truth you could possibly tell him, he has already heard as a lie.
  • I ate people before it was cool.
  • Idiocy is not a zero-sum game.
  • Do the wagons from the staff disappear after a while or do they just build up?
  • I think all the cheese storms are bulking up my save, but so worth it.
  • You have no mystery in your soul. It's full of... magic instead.
  • Something about how it's not really death, I just got an express ticket to the dead end.
  • If it looks overdone, it can be blamed on an over-enthusiastic Telvanni mage.
  • It probably looks... icky. Grey. Dry. DEAD. It's the corpse of food.
  • Someone has to keep watch over these madmen. Because they're men. And maaaad.
  • Ore is the blood of fallen wombats.
  • Men die younger because of science.
  • You have been blessed by the Holy Hazz'ridan... with sanity.
  • I've all I've ever needed: teeth, claws, and a bottle of ale.
  • I've basically just been playing musical power supplies for months.
  • The moose won't stop screaming.
  • What a rude and ill-informed comment.
  • Just pick a bed and fall in it when you're tired.
  • Take your rightful place as my champion, or I will crush you.
  • I'm not insane. Who said I'm insane? Did I say was insane? I'll show you insane!
  • Read it in a lecherous trenchcoat voice.
  • You can't have anything that's dangerous. Water's going to be banned in not too long.
  • I'm talking about the whole floor dirty. I'm talking about me drenched in blood.
  • It's an easy question to answer if you want to give the wrong answer.
  • The reason it's not doing anything is because you don't have it turned on.
  • Mind the Friendly Space Policy.
  • Best experienced with Microsoft Internet Explorer.
  • Breaking news: not all Wikipedians are visibly insane.
  • Printing out the code and retyping it by hand is superior to submodules.
  • New language variant 'en-x-piglatin' for easier variant testing.
  • Embolden the monolith.
  • Free as in free beer.
  • Free as in freedom.
  • Free as in tinfoil hat.
  • China starts televising sunrise due to smog.
  • Sports!! Do the thing, win the points!
  • The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math.
  • Home is where you fully understand how the shower works.
  • Treat your dog to a healthy vegan diet by feeding it fresh vegans.
  • I send my enemies birthday cards filled with glitter.
  • They're like well-meaning snake oil salesmen who periodically get results.
  • "I dissolve" has real meaning here.
  • Death does not diminish.
  • It's no surprise that a growing number of people have begin fetishizing salads.
  • There's no escape.
  • Just step into the painting, he said. Sure... like it's that simple.
  • Product of Screaming Moose Productions.
  • It's only a whisper of a rumor of a conjecture.
  • Relative positions are absolute in their primacy.
  • It wasn't a battle at all. It was a cat playing with her food.
  • I for one welcome our category overlords for sorting out every single thing.
  • I'd join a religion of secular lunacy.
  • I dig holes in dirt, not in words.
  • I'm keeping 'teenage gender unicorns' forever.
  • This is so accurate that I want to punch everyone in the face.
  • PRIMORDIAL CLAM CHOWDER
  • I'm probably offended by what you're doing. Stop it.
  • Men are a threat. All men are a threat.
  • I'm offended by everything here.
  • It's inadequate, half broken, and the sort of quality you've come to expect.
  • $1 missing
  • Our headquarters are in a house, yes a house, in downtown Palo Alto, California.
  • And nothing of value was lost.
  • Chickens, therefore I'm right.
  • I can't talk now. I'm painting the sky with stars.
  • Same flavour, different giraffe.
  • Licenses are like the president of Ukraine - in other words, totally wrong.
  • It's disturbingly coherent.
  • Even though it's written in C, it crashes like a mature C++ application.
  • Saving image failed: Error while saving image. Could not save image.
  • Tastes like burning.
  • Cats. Everywhere.
  • People are better than C++, and that's not saying much.
  • Zaori is made of people like you.
  • I'm being kidnapped?! Let me know when, so I can put it on my calendar.
  • Are you going to give me a dose of liberdom or freeity?
  • Everything discussed here is so normal my teeth hurt.
  • I can't believe it's not SQL!
  • It doesn't matter how fast your language is, it's always possible to write slow code in it.
  • We're all bozos on this bus.
  • Of course there's free will. That doesn't mean it's not predictable.
  • I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
  • I am writing cookie-handling code. This is 2014. I shouldn't have to do it.
  • You can pretend to live in London, and I can live in Paris! I'll type with an accent!
  • There are few things mankind hasn't managed to successfully eat.
  • Everything's cooler with bones sticking out.
  • Internal content of page what does this do
  • Why are't you glowing right? You're not glowing right.
  • The ends await. Mm. Good. Good. I need ends. Dead ends for me please.
  • Is he some kind of oracle at this point or just a madman?
  • The opposite of a computer is a kumquat.
  • [citation needed]
  • There is only one color of whale: PATRIARCHY.
  • That said, I kinda want an inflatable dart board.
  • Never underestimate what you can do with excessive amounts of the colour blue.
  • On a scale of one to invade russia in the winter, how bad is your idea?
  • Warning: Lizards may cause your cat to malfunction in new and unexpected ways.
  • Man, cats are weird...
  • We are experts at wasting life.
  • Fail fast, die() young. We are experts at wasting life. with loneliness(): self.crush();
  • I'm in agreedmentsion with Modus.
  • Take two ducks, twice a day, and drink plenty of fluids.
  • You must construct additional pylons!
  • Get the duck out of my house!
  • Within a few minutes, you can do weird things with fish, if you want to.
  • I dream of sleep.
  • A philoshophical statement regarding slippers.
  • I knew I shouldn't have eaten that slimy stuff I found in the road yesterday.
  • The wheels on the insanity bus go round and round...
  • Grammar wasn't invented until 1934.
  • She has an unfortunate tendency to to scream "racism!" whenever something doesn't go her way.
  • The image does not need to be 'maintained'; it has been stable for the past seven years.
  • Fonk! The man of the ape and the trees is having coitus with a proxy server! Don't!
  • And lo, there was frogs.
  • Nothing matches up anymore.
  • Breathe. Just breathe. Ignore the ten foot noodle chasing you.
  • The letter X is invincible.
  • Out of the cracks in the sky come vultures to swim in the blue dirt.
  • Put some clothes on that tongue of yours!
  • Potent famine Lungs.
  • Inside your head there is a thing.
  • The irony of this situation is under speculation.
  • Reasonable people wouldn't have gotten this far.
  • Well, parser caches can't actually sexually assault you, but yes.
  • Check your privileges, I know you have some somewhere.
  • There is a disturbing lack of plastic foot stools in my garden.
  • What is this treacle?
  • Names is meaner than me since all my mean-ness is negated by my accent.
  • The warm, loving embrace of TENTACLES EVERYWHERE...
  • Gan's voice has the vitality of dust.
  • Bad pronounciation forces the crowd to listen.
  • My feeble notions of productivity have already gone and committed suicide. Twice.
  • Wikipedians are the weirdest breed of internetians I know.
  • You're allowed to be inconsistent. It's the one advantage to craziness.
  • This is the best air-car deer-hunting sequence ever.
  • Cats tolerated.
  • Emotions are dumb and should be hated.
  • Feel the desire to physically attack people you disagree with frequently, do you?
  • Crazy circumstances create crazy people.
  • I don't expect everyone to agree with me. Most times I'm not even certain I agree with me.
  • Neck misses it, but raccoon shelter is taking good care of things.
  • Look at me! I'm cheerful because I put a cheerful sticker on my forehead.
  • I do not care for cats, and I care even less for men who care for cats. I find them very worrying.
  • I live a strange life. Not for general consumption.
  • Freedom is terrifying.
  • These are some pretty words.
  • Pudding is tasty. php probably tastes runny and slightly icky.
  • Based on future events.
  • You know how it is. You've got to hallucinate sometimes, or you're going to lose your mind.
  • In the beginning was the end.
  • Be nice, be nice, until it's time to stop being nice, then destroy them.
  • I keep cursing in ice cream flavors and my mom has told me to stop.
  • He might actually be sane, but nobody's ever finished reading one of his reports, so nobody knows.
  • Put down the duster. It'll be okay.
  • Where is your god now?
  • One day you will bury the moon!
  • Sometimes we are mean to our cows.
  • How do cats even work?
  • Everything is bad.
  • Am I the only person here who reads tea and drinks books?
  • It's beautiful, in a totally trying to kill you kind of way.
  • A religion which doesn't allow questioning is a religion which isn't confident about its structure.
  • I feel like I could take on the world.
  • The damage has not yet been done.
  • 'Artist' is just a nice way of saying 'really creative asshole'.
  • The easiest way to survive a horror movie is to switch genres.
  • Rationale does not have a rationale in it.
  • This is by design.
  • This is just the tip of the iceberg.
  • Taste the rainbow.
  • Here we observe the feline displaying a rare, tender moment of appreciation for its slave.
  • Knowledge is power, France is bacon.
  • Just because it is canon doesn't mean it makes sense.
  • Please don't ask me why I know this.
  • I have had many different names and homes but always the same spirit.
  • Butts is always the answer.
  • Fear is currency.
  • No, daughter, please! I warned you about this!
  • Second day in the wild. I slept in a tree tonight.
  • No race has a predisposition towards screaming at goats.
  • Damn swift cow trees.
  • I think we're trying to use a slide rule to measure internet speeds.
  • All of the problems I've ever had with species identification have come from raccoon skulls.
  • I requested minions of darkness, and you gave my fluffy jellybeans.
  • I'm afraid I've caught poetry.
  • You write so beautifully. The inside of your mind must be a terrible place.
  • Idiots are always so dead sure about every damn thing they do in their lives.
  • It looks like a cruel fairy took a child's drawing of a horse and gave it life.
  • There is no moral alternative.
  • Don't resist. Push it to its limits. Let it explode.
  • Hazz'ridan...
  • Herbet is dead. Hebert is unconscious.
  • I'm concerned about the blueberries.
  • Sometimes a chipmunk.
  • I will never not love how beautifully this spirals into madness.
  • Oh, right, I'm wearing bunny ears...
  • Our societal obsession with these fluffy little murder machines...
  • Binders full of women.
  • Why do people think I am weird? Sometimes I identify as cold spaghetti.
  • Hungry.
  • This episode of 24 is more important than you.
  • I'm not sure I've ever met a corporate lawyer who didn't think their job was bullshit.
  • The madness is angry.
  • The darkness is hungry.
  • Tell me, where did it all go wrong for you?
  • Meh, definitions. Show me actions.
  • And from the Madness came the words.
  • I am super dense. I can use my skull to break doors.
  • A half of ghost. But where is other half?
  • I pressed randomize. Don't press randomize.
  • Instead of clapping, his daughter protested yetis.
  • Honey, I think there's a horse under the bed.
  • What fresh hell?
  • They told him he could be anything if he went to college, so he became a dark lord.
  • Now should I be scared or happy that I got a love letter from the grim reaper?
  • So I came home to find two werewolves, dressed as hotdogs, tearing up my furniture.
  • To achieve the goal of ultimate cleanliness, one must become part of the counter.
  • There's a zombie in my refrigerator.
  • I was an atheist until I realized I was God.
  • I would rather not waste my time. It takes away from how I like to waste my time with other things.
  • People are so enamoured by equality that they'd rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom.
  • The complexity is higher than that of a 14-dimensional dodecahedron.
  • You are not a lunatic unless you act like one.
  • Nothing is worth more than a mask.
  • Don't smell that! I mean me. Don't smell me! I smell awful, but then, that's how I make my living.
  • Shake it like a Polaroid picture.
  • Thank you so much for your correct opinion.
  • I don't know time. I am senile. Or so I tell me.
  • You'd better pray in your cabin tonight for one thing: cats falling from the bloody sky.
  • If you make something so small that it is hard to read, do you even need it to begin with?
  • Why do you want people to judge you on the definition but not on the actions?
  • Or, in other words, fish.
  • The answer isn't. If it were, I'd if the be.
  • Who hurt you?
  • It is entertaining. I haven't had this much fun since I stared at a wall all day.
  • If code looks wrong, just replace it with what you imagine it's supposed to be.
  • History happens to people.
  • We're all background characters.
  • So... you have awoken from your sleep and returned to your dream. Well met... again.
  • We have evolved to a state where we no longer require edit conflicts.
  • Deal with deviance.
  • You wouldn't download a car.
  • You deserved happiness. So I left.
  • Forget the terrible news you've read. Your mind's at ease in an ostrich head!
  • It is like a dark master, teaching me the ways of blood and stone.
  • Is your stomach a graveyard?
  • I have internet for two days. I'm making the most of this by doing absolutely nothing.
  • If code looks wrong, just replace it with a dildo.
  • You can't take your laptop corpses to the grave with you.
  • Every door has a key, and with this key they show their true nature.
  • I wanted to portray Hitler the way he was always meant to be portrayed: as a proud woman of color.
  • This violates the principle of least surprise, and antagonizes users.
  • If you step on a frog, all of its organs will come out of its mouth.
  • Thank you, bathtub crocodile.
  • Most mad scientists in movies are actually just mad engineers.
  • Biscuits.
  • Life's too short for pants.
  • The Gods took care of themselves. Why don't you?
  • A day without ice cream is like a day without ice cream.
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
  • Unattended children will be given espresso and a free kitten.
  • it's not really a fax unless it makes loud modem sounds and gets jammed on the regular.
  • Can we stop normalizing normality?
  • Even if they do not know your name you can be remembered.
  • I will never understand cats.
  • If you can change a story then I wonder if the aftertaste changes as well.
  • You seen a salmon's spine? You can break faces with one of those.
  • That looks safe. In that reality itself isn't flickering on and off.
  • If you know words, you should speak to the wordless.
  • You're Dawn. You might be. You're early, aren't you? You're not quite Dave, at any rate.
  • Coffins don't have bathtubs, silly.
  • It's like magic in that tomatoes are like strawberries, minus the antlers.
  • I gave her unspoken words.
  • Thanks. I try. No, I'm lying. I don't try. It's just to easy. But thanks.
  • Anything can imply anything you want it too.
  • Without the armour, you're the third half of a story that never happened.
  • We were attacked by a feral librarian. We had to fall back.
  • They threatened the collection. There must be a reckoning.
  • Nokia had a giant tree in its booth.
  • Today's dish is raw, bloody meat with bones still attached.
  • A shovel is pretty adorable for a savage weapon of death.
  • I'm not ignoring you. I just don't know what to say to you.
  • The postdoc who did all the work has since left to start a bakery.
  • Blood samples were spun at 1500rpm because the centrifuge made a scary noise at higher speeds.
  • We live in Sweden and Tumblr is the government.
  • It turns out the gif format has issues with decade-long loops.
  • Listen - the flappy planes are beeping in the stick towers.
  • Those are all the wrong words. But the things themselves are all right. So who cares?
  • I'm a white person of colour.
  • Rivets. That's what it needs.
  • To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.
  • Dreams don't ever really die. You take them to the grave.
  • Bali is known for its unique, so I guess we can't count it out.
  • Believe your own lies all you like, but don't go pawning them off on others.
  • It has the expression common to all kittens, that of a tyrant in the becoming.
  • I was comfortable, and you dared to move. For that you must die.
  • Simple is good. It sneaks up on you. Makes you smile.
  • In the beginning it wasn't.
  • Reticulating spline.
  • The world is against me. It wouldn't be fair otherwise.
  • Your shoes are untitled.
  • This definition is why I ain't writing The Dictionary of Obscure Pleasures.
  • This is sausage to me.
  • Yesterday I was sick. Today, I am reborn like the phoenix. As still sick.
  • I remember it and I miss it and I know someone has it, but I don't know who.
  • I filled a cup with wasps and someone poured lemonade in. Not helping.
  • I don't understand. How hard is it to grab someone's hand and move it up and down?
  • Waking up is impossible and I don't understand how anyone ever does it.
  • Oh, chemical blackfire, dammit man. But you're already there, aren't you though.
  • Most dreams are shy. They fly away when the sleeper's lids open.
  • One should make songs rather than make magic. Songs have more beauty.
  • I've bought myself a weekend. A weekend of beauty with the tears of life.
  • I can't wait to wake up and get back to life.
  • Knowing a name, or being stuck with one, both's a mess of trouble.
  • There's always something. Something simple, like waking, or dying, or being able to say 'sorry'.
  • Why are you implying that I implied that you implied something you are implying you did not imply?
  • Any character who has a sensitivity training center named after him will be taken away.
  • Prove it.
  • A man who has not tripped unto his own trips could never understand.
  • She curses him as only someone who is half-demon on her father's side can curse.
  • There are known knowns.
  • I applaud the spinning table with the kite.
  • Let me tell you a thing. A thing. There, I told you.
  • I need feminism because people have opinions I don't like.
  • Why, oh, why, was I programmed to feel pain?
  • The walking joke made a joke!
  • Being equal to your oppressors is still oppression.
  • Even the most glorious revolution is just a successful mutiny.
  • It's easier to search a dead body that isn't moving.
  • I haven't fed my dogdamned god.
  • Careful. Tried that once. Ever so dull.
  • A lot of people came to me because I actually wore clothes and didn't make them feel dirty.
  • No time, I will eat when I'm dead. I'm gong in!
  • I'll be in my lab bathing in paste. Don't disturb me.
  • The lesson here is that dreams inevitably lead to hideous implosions.
  • While you were out, I painted your living room pink. You're welcome.
  • For all we know manbearpig very well may be the patriarchy.
  • You know, all you had to say was 'this date is over'. No need to jump off a cliff.
  • I want to live to see the future because the future is hilarious.
  • Among some, your name is now synonymous with meat. And that's a high honour indeed.
  • Truth is racist.
  • I'm sane, you know.
  • Look, we'd love to grant your request, but we think you're insane.
  • Why is there bacon in the soap?
  • My father used to call me a block off the old chip.
  • No human with sense would send a takedown for 'EAT SHIT FUCKERS'.
  • Only by admitting what we are can we get what we want.
  • Don't crash into the geese! They'll fall... up!
  • I'd pay for helium eyebrows.
  • Cover your ears. The fabric of reality might scream a little.
  • These are questions for wise men with skinny arms.
  • Prodigies appear in the oddest of places.
  • The great thing about ignoring something is that there's never any hurry.
  • It's not easy being drunk all the time. Everyone would do it if it were easy.
  • You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Act like it.
  • Please do the needful.
  • Giant fish don't taste much different from regular fish.
  • History isn't written by the victors anymore. It's re-written by the Wikipedia vandals.
  • The public is advised not to heed voices coming from wells.
  • Need more fabric... or the walls will eat me.
  • I am the one who is spread on toast in the night.
  • I will dig the hole that birthed death itself.
  • If it's morally suspicious, trust Finland to do just that.
  • There's a difference between not caring and telling people you don't care.
  • Is our children learning?
  • No software is free and spreading that misconception is harmful.
  • And there is life on linux...
  • That voice in your head, it's not your conscience, it's your ego.
  • I hope I'm alive to see how the world ends.
  • Time going backwards is rarely a good thing.
  • All unauthorized humor will be reported to the appropriate authorities.
  • All golems in this fractal have cat ears and whiskers.
  • 'A fair distance' for a sphinx is, like, on the other side of a decently-sized ocean.
  • MediaWiki is consistently inconsistent.
  • Everyone who dies while Radek is still alive gets stuffed into the Warforged body.
  • It is a harbinger of death! Stop making cooing noises!
  • It's almost like nobody thought to make up rules for people tripping on mushrooms.
  • Sometimes we do everything right and we still lose.
  • They found his cell phone still in his hands and his head in the back seat.
  • It's a raptor. So we should treat it as a raptor.
  • The water feels nothing.
  • If they're not affected, they're not representative.
  • Dad, please. Stop stabbing yourself.
  • Beheading ants is a lot less effective than I had hoped.
  • There was so much work to choose from, boss, so I did none.
  • Don't try to forget. Don't worry about it. That is the only way to move on.
  • I'm gong to hell in every religion.
  • If it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth.
  • I think we should consider all our frankenoptions.
  • This isn't living. Living's easier.
  • Do not fear death. It is the stake one puts up in order to play the game of life.
  • Your time is valuable. It's worth a bottle of fish sauce.
  • Division is dangerous. Never do it.
  • You look in the mirror and you see yourself. You are a hotdog.
  • You brought a meth lab to the airport?
  • A sylvari with thighs like an oak... possibly because she is an oak.
  • The equation is 54.
  • Were you then, you might have been.
  • It's always a lot easier when you don't have to design with reality as a constraint.
  • Sometimes people pull my leg and it comes off in their hands. And then they're left holding a leg.
  • This is a test of the Emergency Stupidity System.
  • If there's something the human race specialises in, it's looting.
  • It's not considered polite to write on your driver.
  • Noisy. You know what's noisy? This car. Keeps talking to me.
  • Is that a duck?
  • Think outside the graphing calculator.
  • I ♠ NY
  • Give it an A. For Annoying.
  • It is an obtuse angel.
  • Some dreams never die.
  • Listen, Rave. People change. Sometimes into flocks of seagulls.
  • Remember to always close the door behind you if you want to go back.
  • My god is an asshole.
  • We're playing horseshoes or hand grenades. Accuracy counts as much as it needs to.
  • I said it in my head.
  • Why do I have two Bobs?
  • Right on.
  • Such cat.
  • You know, I never really liked paying bills. I don't think I'm going to do that either.
  • I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing and it was everything that I thought it could be.
  • You know it isn't broken because it gets far enough to bluescreen.
  • I hate arguing, but just for the record, you're wrong. But don't ask me to prove it!
  • Stop being a coward in the presence of idiots.
  • A gate to Hell opened in one of my provinces, and I closed it by pushing cows into it.
  • It'll have tusks. I just know it.
  • The unanswered question states...
  • The Voice's name is Bertram.
  • The day we stop aging is the day we stop evolving. Are we ready for that?
  • What you wear tells others what you are.
  • We're so often blind to what our own assumptions are.
  • The stick is sharp and pokey.
  • It ain't my bag, man.
  • They dig and make noises in the walls.
  • Are we chraining the sents of loss today?
  • Smell.
  • People forget MacGyver.
  • We should now refer to units of measurements of oppression as 'hitlers'.
  • They clean their teeth for fun.
  • They are smart because they are wild.
  • Something few people realise is just how easy it is to forge things if only you have the time.
  • SECURE MATERIALS: DUPLICATION FORBIDDEN
  • No half-measures.
  • A sufficiently vague target is harder to miss.
  • Media really dropped the ball.
  • I'm a toothy-pillow manwhore. I've fondled so many seams. I lose count.
  • The only thing I get in boxes are hags. If I'm lucky, I'll get a slug.
  • Standards are unicorns.
  • And now all your snowflakes are urine and you can't even find the cat.
  • I don't remember singing spoons. There was a shower of cutlery. But that was somewhere else.
  • I stitched standards.
  • You have not yet spent so much of your life reading code that you begin to talk in it.
  • The time is now to consume. Why skim when you deserve more?
  • Lies make us happy?
  • There is no escape from what you know.
  • All alone. The last one standing is left with nothing but time to think.
  • That which is divided must become one.
  • It's funny when you talk like that, as if those are real words.
  • They are coloured blined.
  • I'm going bald and my flower is losing its petals.
  • She's gone now. All bones left. The bones are boiling in my soup.
  • He's just this guy, you know?
  • It's right up there with 'humming being'.
  • Can you hear me now?
  • You need a pen to save your family.
  • My split ends have split ends.
  • There are five beds, one of which has been taken over by a pair of badgers.
  • He is very thinky.
  • This is our legacy. Pieces of our legs.
  • All things that live may die. All things that are may dream.
  • It's the same dusty raspberry flavour.
  • Zombies and body parts are so simple. How do you make madness visually engaging?
  • Holding it in mind as the bones of memory... here we stand, alone at last.
  • Most of my best stories have been written en route to and from the liquor store.
  • Do what I want, not what I tell you.
  • In Finland, there is a juice tax.
  • Write to learn. Write to understand. Write to remember.
  • It's bloody stupid and it's mine.
  • He had rabbits and he did not like rabbits.
  • You fight madness with madness.
  • Others drink to forget. I simple forget... and also drink.
  • We love our dreams, for they show us what we cannot have.
  • King of Dramatical, I rule this land with an iron box of tissues.
  • Memory is brutal when it's not quite there.
  • Why does a horse with no name have a hostname?
  • Suitable for making cupcake decorations, where grayscale doesn't work well.
  • Hand to the Dead Master though I may be, to a perturbed sphinx, a perturbation is a perturbation.
  • Show me to your sheep.
  • The question is goats, not sheep.
  • I might as well have been a sphinx.
  • Finish your sentence.
  • The sun is too shiny.
  • Don't rush so much. Your life is not worth twenty seconds.
  • My memories are a jumbled mass and my head is full of sheep.
  • Poking it with a stick: the universal gesture of curiosity.
  • They like disliking.
  • None of it makes the slightest sense, so we just follow the rituals and pretend that it does.
  • Stay in drugs. Eat your school. Don't do vegetables.
  • I like holes. They're airy and cool and you can see through them.
  • It might be knife-shaped because someone thought knives were purdy.
  • Things in books aren't secrets, or they wouldn't be secrets anymore.
  • Swedish is hardly a language. It's more like a speech defect.
  • I am here. I am pretending to do work. There is nothing suspicious about this.
  • They are the same because you are a book.
  • It's one of the perks of being enormous.
  • It is finished. Art is so brutal.
  • Words have meanings.
  • I couldn't read it because I blew it up.
  • They're talking to the balls?
  • It's not a space shuttle launch. It's sex.
  • Hey, I can summon fire. Want some drugs?
  • It never occurred to me that he might have been lying.
  • Not all ghosts are angry or have unfinished business. Some are just annoying.
  • Welcome to Midnight, my humble abode.
  • Being me is not good for your health.
  • What mangos are you reading?
  • If it makes you angry, question why. Opposing viewpoints should never make you angry.
  • Here's what we learned when we accidentally destroyed this universe.
  • If you can't get in, keep trying. People inevitably crash.
  • She's in my head. How should I know what what she's really like?
  • It's a skeleton key. It's universal.
  • They need to learn how to hate. It doesn't come naturally.
  • Don't confuse me with Nevada.
  • It may cost a whole lot of money, but oh well.
  • Expect disappointment and you won't be disappointed.
  • Doesn't matter how much BRAVE you have; bravery isn't bulletproof.
  • One of my students was working with incoherent fractions.
  • It's only fun for the first hundred thousand.
  • Your preferences will be realigned until you find this pleasurable or die.
  • I know a guy who could make you understand in a snap.
  • I don't know what paradigm means but it looked snug at the end of that phrase, so why deny it?
  • Got something intelligent, rational or simply coherent to say? Get it off your chest here.
  • Drugs are a part of this complete breakfast.
  • At least my whiskey appreciates me.
  • Sarathi broke me. The rest has just been custard on the pudding.
  • This world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel.
  • And we have here all her forgetfulness and rage in one confused little package.
  • We're all kept alive by magic. My magic's just a little different from yours.
  • That would be such a dumb combination that it was probably exactly what happened.
  • I have 40 of something called 'rare herbs' and some other stuff I got called SOME USEFUL HERBS.
  • This doesn't look like lint or dirt. In the pipe it goes.
  • There are dragons in this box and I need them out.
  • Compiling Wine. Grab a lunch or two, rent a video, or whatever, in the meantime...
  • The night is dark and full of turtles.
  • I want to get a boat and put a mechanical bull on it.
  • Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.
  • Do they even realize that they're causing the problems that they're protesting against?
  • This could all be a dream, dear. It's a simple concept to grasp.
  • Hi, I'm a moderator. Thank you for contacting me. We don't moderate!
  • Thanks for the reminder of how ridiculous we are.
  • Good, let the abstract quality flow through you.
  • Air is lumpy.
  • They watched the skies, and the stories soared overhead. What followed was an exodus of sphinxes.
  • If you're alive, raise your hand. Otherwise, we'll assume you've died.
  • A disturbed individual, as Richard would say. And then quickly retract with an apology.
  • I should be awake, theoretically, but ERR_INSUFFICIENT_AMOUNT_OF_CAFFEINE
  • My articles never have any edit wars because they never have any readers.
  • At its best it works, and at its worst it's like the biggest graveyard on wikipedia.
  • Differential equations sedate me.
  • Where is /etc/hosts?
  • I actually want to punch you as much in person as I do online.
  • Why ruin that pretty skin of yours? Now I'll never be able to make my mask...
  • I am not going to scan a ferret.
  • The ghost of Chairman Mao will get you, Argento. Remember the trouble you had with Stalin?
  • I didn't have a life. I had a BBS.
  • The graphics are in your brain.
  • My dream is running away from me like a dog from a hungry korean.
  • He doesn't care - that's why he made a script that does.
  • I think the spell worked. I'm looking at the universe from the outside. It's a confusing mess.
  • There is no sparkle endpoint for wikidata as it stands.
  • You, sir, are guilty of reductio ad absurdum! My hat is a badger, so your argument is invalid!
  • My hat is a badger, so your argument is invalid.
  • When you factor in all the time saved by not writing scripts, it's really like two vacations.
  • Humans provide some very important protein.
  • It ain't possible to live unless you crossing somebody's line.
  • Nothing is real. Everything is permitted.
  • Your loneliness is spreading to your eyes.
  • The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana.
  • Don't be smart. Smart is only a polished version of dumb.
  • She tends to get distracted. Her mind wanders and amuses itself elsewhere.
  • If they use variables we need to slit their throats a little bit.
  • It was hours ago. I don't remember.
  • The ratio of the children is the width of the pool.
  • Boulder has it right. If two men sleep together, they should be stoned.
  • Beak the media. Change the message.
  • If you put ten fair use experts in a room, you'll get twelve definitions before they leave.
  • Welcome oblivion does not come easily.
  • The holes aren't alive.
  • Experiment! The crazier the idea, the likelier a successful outcome!
  • Of course he has a fucking Hitler doll.
  • Does anyone have the key to the trash compactor?
  • I am altering the deal. Pray that I don't alter it any further.
  • On some level, all questions are stupid, so what does it matter?
  • Questions are not stupid. Not knowing to question, that is the stupid.
  • I am holding sauce. This is real. I am real.
  • In this game, stone is more reliable than reality. Even shale.
  • Go to your filthy bed! Revel in your vile dreams!
  • There is a diffrence between dreaming and pretending.
  • Even in these dark days, journalism occasionally happens.
  • Video killed the radio star.
  • Glaciers melting in the dead of night and the superstars sucked into the supermassive...
  • Has anyone really been so far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
  • No Spoon, no spork, no foon, not even a dire little fork, just... a manhole.
  • I don't think anal biscuits technically provide nutrition for the human body, or stuff.
  • He lives with one foot in his mouth, and the other in the Twilight Zone.
  • Tarnation and blimey!
  • How about sense-dependent invisibility?
  • Sometimes Nemo is so tactless that you can't be offended.
  • Bless your heart.
  • Save the gay whales in Darfur.
  • Laziness is a virtue when tempered with ingenuity. And when I don't have to review your code.
  • I think you have a well-developed zero.
  • Clicking the mouse will focus your eyes.
  • Stories speak to us in ways reality never could.
  • Reality speaks to us in ways stories never could.
  • Stop messing with people's heads when they can't even hear you.
  • What successive but unfound dimensions could follow?
  • The things in place designed to help is really the thing keeping everyone back.
  • They say I sodomised a pine tree.
  • Please stop being so much more peculiar than you usually are!
  • Is it true that you when you were 14 you called your teacher a cootie-licker?
  • We do not promise change. We promise improvement. We promise to learn.
  • A program in lolcode to calculate the atomic weight of curry.
  • My participation ribbon is a paycheck.
  • Word salad and number soup.
  • Naw, it's good. I was too stoned to care.
  • The effects of stupidity can be adequately simulated using vodka.
  • You may have your faults, but at least you have pants on.
  • More piggies, GIR! I demand piggies!
  • It's late. I need to go snorkel cheese.
  • Did you say say 'pig' or 'fig'?
  • It's okay, I've already started gibbering over this box of raw explosive power in my hands.
  • Roll nature to speak bee.
  • Fatal error: Unable to find local grunt.
  • The universe hates you. Deal with it.
  • Truth sounds like hate to those who hate truth.
  • It's only cheating if you get caught.
  • I'm an architect. I build things. Walls, ceilings. All I want is peace. Sanity. Cathedrals.
  • Can you imagine if all these posts had the word white swapped with black? People would blow up.
  • Well, this was one of my predictions. One of my nine predictions.
  • He's upset at the raccoon on the ceiling.
  • You are my secret. You, who read these dreams put cold to the pages of the Book.
  • Heaven forbid we let someone who understands it get a good grade.
  • I think it's hysterical they made him an air traffic controller.
  • I just spend a Minor Action to summon a cloud of boiling blood.
  • Shut up. We're being moved by humanity's gentleness right now. You go and die over there.
  • I want etherpad programming.
  • 10 years ago this would be satire. But not today.
  • This isn't a cult. Our bedrock principles are open access and transparency.
  • The whole world must learn of our peaceful ways. By force.
  • You are more likely to trip and die than be killed by a gun.
  • It's information and no one owns it.
  • I am a trisexual pineapple.
  • mw.loader.state('the_pope_is_an_atheist_woman_alien', 'missing');
  • I'd rather be a damsel than a bullet sponge.
  • How does my tin foil hat look?
  • There have been several people that have been shot by an unloaded gun.
  • Saying "it's impossible to discriminate" allows people to discriminate with impunity.
  • MediaWiki code is very much sausage.
  • Logic is a pretty powerful tool, but it only works if you give it good input.
  • I think what Nemo's getting at is that the appendix is just plain weird.
  • Many have eyes, but few have seen.
  • Happy Easter. Here's a chocolate version of the cross our Lord was tortured and killed on.
  • Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor.
  • We wasted so much time waterboarding that duck.
  • Dust his ass for footprints.
  • You've replaced yourself with a small shell script!
  • I once had a rock garden. Three of them died.
  • I have found more ways to derange than arrange.
  • Foxes run from drooling dogs.
  • Don't make me pull this volcano over.
  • Crew members don't hang out in walls.
  • Windows NT 4.0 - still more free than your average mobile OS.
  • I am at peace. That's what bothers me.
  • Is wiretapping them legal if we have someone from the NSA do it?
  • I'm never using that lawnmower again. That's how I lost my hair you know?
  • I am an asshole and I like being an asshole. Assholes are usually the most honest people.
  • Ego. That's what it means to be a god. Pure, unadulterated ego.
  • Please, please help me. The eel is moving through my body.
  • Dinosaurs probably had tapeworms too, and we can only wonder how long they got.
  • Muh feelings!
  • Sanity is a difficult prospect. Maintaining it would be enough to drive one mad.
  • Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?
  • Cellar door.
  • Warning: Use your brain.
  • This is riddle wrapped in a mystery wrapped in an enigma.
  • Let's trade secrets. I've only got one, and I've forgotten what it is.
  • Like a great salmon, we must forge up the stream of evil and stop it before it spawns.
  • I can see the zerg. I can see everything again.
  • Dog? Oh, you delightful idiot. I'm his cat, of course!
  • I was bored while waiting for my torrent to finish so I wrote AI replacements for the Marks.
  • It is the social sciences task to challenge biological thinking.
  • They are frenetically concerned with biological explanations.
  • The rest of us will just be hanging around and being annoying distractions.
  • Passing blame is so much easier than owning up to your own actions.
  • If you use Comic Sans, you're using a font designed for an animated dog.
  • There are so many ways an intoxicated cow could go.
  • I feel like we're doing this again, but that just means we're getting good at it.
  • The murmurer in the earth and I talk. I lay my head against the dirt.
  • The only way to beat a temptation is to give into it.
  • You've got to know about jokes. You are one.
  • Strange isn't a bad thing. Just unexpected.
  • Strength in isolation.
  • I'd go anywhere if it just made some sense.
  • You definitely wouldn't want to take Amtrak to hell. You'd get there three days late.
  • Has anyone really been so far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
  • Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes. Together we can stop this. Please spread the word.
  • I love hitmen. No matter what you do to them, you don't feel bad.
  • He didn't say anything. He was too busy dying.
  • MediaWiki is... organic. Like manure.
  • Do de do de do.
  • From the beginning, what are the ten radical isotopes?
  • You can have a typo, but in this case you have a writo.
  • A graph is always easier than a paragraph.
  • It shows what food feeds on which food.
  • Dude, responding to everything I say with weird pictures does not constitute a debate.
  • Racism is the new progress. Racism is the new tolerance. Racism is the new equality.
  • I need a seagull boundary.
  • One of their major food sources is suffering.
  • Remember how minimal these minimals can get.
  • You are the reason the saying 'ignorance is bliss' exists.
  • I can't predict the future. I pay professionals to do that, and even they get it wrong sometimes.
  • I mean, that's pretty horrible, but 'most of Chile'. That's just hilarious.
  • Everyone is a super saiyan charr now.
  • Because the images were taken by a monkey, no human copyright applies.
  • Who but a dreamer could appreciate the tragedy that holds us up?
  • Sometimes the easiest method you know is the hardest method there is.
  • I gave up, ran around like a headless chicken and then went to watch TV instead.
  • People are very strange these days.
  • Now how are we going to decide who's the worst hostage?
  • I'm as presentable as a murderously spiteful old man with a wet beard can get.
  • The current state of the art is broken.
  • Roof Koreans for hire.
  • There's a moose?
  • It's not exactly an ill met newt by noonlight.
  • Personally I would like to see this code carefully gutted.
  • You can fix the mainpage by deleting all the content in home.css.
  • What are my reasons? Even I'll never know.
  • What could possibly go wrong?
  • Fundemental ass satellite of space.
  • He wanted my wheat, but I gave him a bear.
  • Shhhh! If we're quiet, maybe the tornado won't hear us.
  • Sorry. I didn't hear the question. I was too busy staring at my thumb.
  • So, the land doesn't float on top of the ocean?
  • Can we do something other than set fire to my eyebrows? We've already done that three times.
  • You can't explain a rock. A rock is a rock.
  • He looks different. He's not dressed like a taco!
  • It's almost the weekend. Tomorrow's already over.
  • I can't hear you. What's your clown name?
  • The greatest lie we tell ourselves is 'I'll remember it'.
  • Just words, words, words and no meaning left.
  • Omaha seems really unpleasant.
  • He was almost like a trainwreck, but without the train. Or possibly the wreck.
  • The end is only the beginning.
  • I could saturate my connection with mango cheesecake.
  • Please use 'perkele' no more than 8 times per email.
  • Creatures with teeth on their tongue should not exist.
  • I'd rather be miserable than not exist, for whatever reason.
  • They give birth astride of a grave, the light gleams an instant, then it's night once more.
  • Self-awareness is for assholes. I prefer to be aware of tacos instead.
  • It is a play in which nothing happens. Twice.
  • Is any idea so dangerous that it justifies censorship?
  • I fear all we've done is awaken a giant and fill him with terrible resolve.
  • Good advice is boring.
  • The person who says it cannot be done should not bother the one who is doing it.
  • Any sufficiently advanced business model is indistinguishable from a scam.
  • I have a moustache on my soul.
  • Don't underestimate spite economics.
  • One alligator in custody.
  • In other news, I am still alive therefore death must be a myth.
  • His biggest offense is saying 'nipples' a lot.
  • Everyone is hot and I'm really bad at handling it.
  • Best if consumed simultaneously.
  • We are not always dead inside.
  • The columns of smoke in the foreground are telephone poles boiling.
  • Eels are most prevalent on thursdays.
  • He's such an unlikable little twat. Now we know why: he was played by an unlikable little twat!
  • Cry me a river so I can drown you in it.
  • Man's natural state is slavery; we are unhappy because we are too 'free'.
  • Here we will share the memes of our people.
  • Cheese in this situation equals money.
  • It's happening.
  • We're trapped in the belly of this horrible machine, and the machine is bleeding to death.
  • Tile patterns. It isn't that abnormal.
  • It is the most imaginative sort of degeneracy.
  • I'm smarter than your average bear.
  • Nobody dies when two planes full of skydivers crash in the air.
  • That's fine. Anything that happens only in your head is totally cool and fine.
  • Birds walk on you. Isn't it convenient that now everything else can too?
  • I am not a nice person, it is about time you realize this.
  • We must die unto one world before we may be reborn into another.
  • Snakes lost their legs long ago in the Vietnam War.
  • We must eat all these possums that were burned.
  • They come from broken homes, which end up producing broken minds.
  • Please add more unwarranted explosions to gifs.
  • Expect anything.
  • I take my hedgehog grocery shopping and nobody tells me to stop.
  • We must defeat the Huns!
  • Nobody notices what I do until I don't do it.
  • Geez, can't a guy violate the laws of physics without getting yelled at?
  • You're not getting more degenerate. You're just boring.
  • Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.
  • I am Groot.
  • I don't question it and just file it away as a puzzle piece.
  • I just strap a pillow to my head, go into the backyard, and headbutt a tree.
  • The ends justify the memes.
  • Skeletons eff off. I swear to god.
  • The global internet is being attacked by sharks.
  • See this hat? Tis' my cat.
  • This area looks JEWISH.
  • I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.
  • It's basically an ideological food fight.
  • They have us surrounded. Those poor bastards.
  • It's not arrogant to state a simple fact.
  • I'm not mad. I'm the only sane one left.
  • If no-one comes from the future to stop you doing it, how bad of a decision can it be?
  • Why am I only motivated to sort my life out at 3am?
  • That thing looks like a demon. Why would you name him after cheese?
  • Where do you get so many pictures of dinosaurs skateboarding?
  • I will destroy all you hold dear and return to bed.
  • Kids today blow up so fast.
  • I've summoned an elevator and mistaken myself for a necromancer.
  • The chaos army seems suspiciously well-organised.
  • Random whitespace is important. It's a design thing. You wouldn't understand.
  • Okay, yeah. I am an adult. I am so adult. Look at me adulting all over the place.
  • It's not about the colour of the bikeshed. It's about calling a bikeshed a community centre.
  • Catting intensifies.
  • The fourth dimension is not time. It is goat.
  • We spent three months debugging it because we only had one month to build it.
  • Darkness is pure, transparent, beautiful.
  • Court Dismissed. Bring in the dancing lobsters.
  • You can't solve your problems with sad flute music.
  • After we changed the definition of misogyny, we are finding it everywhere.
  • Never again were gamers so intimidated by a few hundred ambiguously gendered triangles.
  • Owls may be symbols of wisdom, but they're actually complete morons.
  • Never underestimate the power and reach of potatoes.
  • Some days, I feel everything at once. Other days I feel nothing at all.
  • Pretending to know everything closes the door to finding out what is really there.
  • Nintendo wins by doing absolutely nothing.
  • I am not a children; I AM A MAP.
  • Gamagoori Ira doesn't actually have set proportions, his height is just bigger than you.
  • Of course you had a gif of a guy shaking a chicken.
  • The phrase 'Wardrobe by Kmart' should not appear in a film's credits.
  • If any facts posted by this site are true, it is only by mistake.
  • He ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times.
  • Sarcasm is really helpful.
  • In Yu-Shan there are slums filled with unemployed, destitute gods.
  • The average whale is about the size of a whale.
  • A chicken wearing a plunger shows how dinosaurs walk.
  • It takes an idiot to do cool things. That's why it's cool.
  • You're being digested by a cellar! Your morals don't count!
  • I found the angriest-looking fish in the world.
  • Happy birthday. Here's a plastic sack of my breath.
  • A dream that will come true is not a real dream.
  • I want to see the inside. I want to disassemble it. I want to reassemble it.
  • My lucidity for the past 2 years has been well above average.
  • I've already alerted the relevant authorities. And some irrelevant ones.
  • What has this world come to? And what's worse - where are we going?
  • This is my blog. I peed on it, so now it's mine.
  • Everyone's staring at us. Let's make a scene.
  • I'm not very useful in a fight, but I am pretty useful slightly off to the side of a fight.
  • I am the embodiment of goof.
  • Help! A cliché is trying to kill me! Oh hells, he's really trying to kill me!
  • At least death is simple.
  • What is this? You'd kill an unarmed dead librarian? What's wrong with you?
  • I'm sorry I dragged you into this and got everyone killed.
  • Act like a raving lunatic? Fuck that. I'm gonna be a raving lunatic.
  • Incoming message from the Big Giant Head.
  • I've been to the edge of space. Just looked like... more space.
  • You must be iron-deficient if you can't see all the delicious irony here.
  • We should all be thankful that centipedes can't fly.
  • Wanting journalistic integrity is a sign of end times.
  • Some people underestimate how erotic it is to be understood.
  • Some people are so poor that all they have is money.
  • Greed is a cleaner villain than senseless hate.
  • Cats are not very good at chess.
  • I don't know who is trolling whom anymore.
  • Remember when the chicken plant burned down in 8th grade and we were all wearing clown costumes?
  • Irked fans produce fanfic like irritated oysters produce pearls.
  • There is no such thing as fiction, only non-fiction set in the wrong universe.
  • The best trait is patience. That, or a nice set of teeth.
  • Tilt shift the universe.
  • Don't bother apologizing if you're just going to continue doing the things you said sorry for.
  • Griffons pronk.
  • I hope it's not another fucking salsa pocket.
  • The danger is bureaucrats. And that danger has never faded.
  • Why is being hated and feared so god damn fun?
  • Magic can kill. Knives can kill. Even small children launched at great speed could kill.
  • Hate never wins out in the end. It instead goes always to its lonely, dusty end.
  • Words create lies. Pain can be trusted.
  • Everybody is the same.
  • They are perfection, the ideal being with clothes.
  • Man, what did zombies ever do to you to get themselves compared to social justice warriors?
  • There's no kill like overkill.
  • The most intense form of pretentious dishevelment I've ever seen in my life.
  • Here's a graph. Not sure what's on it, but there's a graph.
  • Why can't we go back to the simpler things in life? Like pants-eating monsters.
  • Did I say that or just think it? Am I talking? Can they hear me?
  • The smarter you get the less you speak.
  • Arson is a sexist industry.
  • Where did the strawmen touch you when you were a child?
  • You were so focused on whether you COULD do it that you never stopped to ask whether you SHOULD.
  • Sloths are what happens when coconuts come alive.
  • I'd love to meet the genius who thought of charging a fee for applying for financial aid.
  • Samantha Wright is an adorable combination of the Hulk and Tinkerbell.
  • Remember, the real lady is what's under the mask.
  • My cat dispenser is broken. I asked for cream and sugar and all I get is black.
  • Potassium.
  • Once we saw him juggling the hermit crabs in his tank.
  • Terror is nothing else than justice, prompt, severe, inflexible.
  • Chromosomes are a social construct.
  • Bullets are a part of a balanced breakfast.
  • I remember when memes were a dirty secret on the internet.
  • I don't want gender; I want wings and the ability to breathe fire.
  • Scarves are scientifically proven to make you more awesome.
  • Go sports! Move the thing to the other thing!
  • Are you sure the mud isn't sentient?
  • Thank you, bathtub barracuda.
  • The fool thinks he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.
  • Is there no way out of the mind?
  • It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.
  • You were never born. Just removed.
  • The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.
  • This is your daily reminder that you will receive daily reminders on a daily basis.
  • Then Robespierre Robespierred all over the place.
  • Robespierre was the Robespierre of Robespierre.
  • Because of course she's Sarah. They were all Sarah.
  • I would rather to be in a hot tub with Satan discussing politics.
  • Breathe into the BEE ORB to reveal your fate.
  • Dying is a good way to learn so long as you're paying attention.
  • I don't think you can accurately do a tl;dr on something so big.
  • Their decisions meant 4chan would be left as the only avenue of discussion.
  • If humans could fly, we'd consider it exercise and never do it.
  • Rarely, if ever, has a corpse laid beside someone in their bed. This fear is mostly unfounded.
  • This language is literally keysmashing.
  • The shooter was a casino american.
  • Oxygen is not toxic, just setting you on fire very very slowly.
  • Death is but the cuddle of eternity.
  • You're like Sherlock Holmes except of no use to anyone.
  • I have to remember my cat. I can't keep my cat if I get into trouble.
  • We should eat whatever those things are.
  • If you think there are only stupid and worthless people around you, you might be one of them.
  • Screen scrape ALL the things!
  • Let's interrogate all the flowers in the forest.
  • Sometimes the gods listen. Even out here, sometimes they listen.
  • Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.
  • A star field. Why always a simple star field when the sky is so much more vibrant than that?
  • She is like a candle in the wind. Unreliable.
  • By the power of me spinach, I will pulveratize ya.
  • I don't need to prove myself to you. How dare you. I love breathing oxygen.
  • Civilised societies don't take slaves. They build them.
  • It may be a little optimistic to expect this party to work intentionally towards a goal.
  • People who triumph over adversity often decide adversity is therefore fine.
  • Everything in Australia is a goddamn spider.
  • Insanity is a legal term. Very few offenders are legally insane.
  • It is like a library or a public park: it seems wholesome but is full of perverts.
  • They already hate themselves more than you could ever hate them.
  • I am not a nut, nor am I several nuts.
  • It isn't a kids' show. It's a people show.
  • There is no need to create a directory of articles that mention coal balls.
  • The sidewalk of New York is where smiles go to die.
  • You don't need to make formal alliances with people you trust.
  • Nothing makes the past a sweeter place to visit than the prospect of imminent death.
  • Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it.
  • I love that someone looked at bagpipes and thought 'this could use a little more fire'.
  • I'm sure this means something, but don't ask me what.
  • Cats are controlled by government satellites. You blocked the signal so it shut down.
  • His magic is fist!
  • Money can't make you happy unless you roll around in it.
  • It is impossible and not recommended.
  • Freedom of speech is important so that we know just how stupid the people around us are.
  • I have one really photogenic cat and one idiot.
  • There's something really gay about two men having sex with each other.
  • I didn't do anything, I just spoke the truth.
  • Some stories are just better than others.
  • I think I have underestimated the power of soup.
  • Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.
  • Praise is the last thing they need. Praise is what got us into this mess in the first place.
  • The crusade is taking a 20-minute break.
  • Suffice to say the entire thing was a hoot in the most sarcastic of senses.
  • I try to be a considerate sociopath.
  • When the wise man points at the moon, the idiot observes the finger.
  • America must be kept American.
  • That guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You could smell crazy on him.
  • She died as she lived, licking things she wasn't supposed to.
  • I've had a god in my brain. I don't recommend it.
  • How to approach a finn: you don't. You just don't.
  • I've never liked people and I will never like them. People are the worst species on earth.
  • Reaching for a spruce, one falls on a juniper.
  • Who will raise the cat's tail if not the cat itself?
  • It's bad. I mean, bad. Like, bad bad. It's really bad.
  • I hate children, so I try to hit them with doors whenever I can.
  • If you can say everything with one word, you shouldn't use any more.
  • Yoghurt is useless.
  • It can be impossible to tell if everyone is just bored or simply being Finnish.
  • Decisions are made by those who show up.
  • I need a hundred pounds of magnetic putty.
  • People will stare. Make it worth their while.
  • Watch the clouds. You will see the shockwave there.
  • Everything is a copy of a copy of a copy.
  • I shivered in terror at the sound of the monster's laugh only to realize I was the one laughing.
  • What kind of dumbarse sister of mine can't find a use for a hundred lace masks?
  • This movie is in English, and the actors are clearly visible.
  • Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
  • You look at people and you see puzzles. I see games. You? You're a game I'll win every time.
  • I think of every reason there is to live. Mothers, and sisters, and gorillas, and cake. Flying.
  • There's just something about an anatomically correct rubber suit that puts fire in a girl's lips.
  • I fought the war, but the war won.
  • We support women so long as they do everything we say and they don't think for themselves.
  • Welcome to whatever this is.
  • If it doesn't go bang when you put it in a supercollider, it's probably bollocks.
  • I didn't want to vote in that RfA, but the opposes are just ridiculous.
  • He has no eyebrows, except on saturdays.
  • I need context. So many questions. Why a kitten? Why his pants? Why?
  • You are not free until you have no need to impress anybody.
  • Beware of artists. They mix with all classes of society and are therefore the most dangerous.
  • Listen, you're my children, and I love you. But you're all terrible.
  • I pray to myself, for myself.
  • I'm very bad at keeping still for pictures. I always end up dancing.
  • Some people will always need help. That doesn't mean they're not worth helping.
  • I can't decide if this is an awesome amount of poof or just ridiculous.
  • Being loved by young people is overrated. Being feared by young people is priceless.
  • I don't drink alcohol for religious reasons. I drink it for other reasons.
  • It seems that in Finland bacon is considered as a vegetable.
  • It is absolutely prohibited to shit on the floor.
  • Nanomachines, son.
  • Who needs magic when all your problems can be solved with guns?
  • The future is here and it's horrible.
  • Larval forms of fairies are horrifyingly evil.
  • If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.
  • Would you like to see a shrimp on a running machine?
  • Confuse, don't abuse.
  • Stop playing the victim. That's not even a real instrument.
  • It is healthy to be full of shit.
  • Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke.
  • Teenagers aren't rated Teen.
  • So we taped a devil's trap on my friend's floor as a joke and now I'm stuck. Send help.
  • In the dystopian future, full length shirts are a sign of weakness.
  • They're not women's clothes. They're my clothes. I bought them.
  • This is the first time we've ever 'emailed' hardware to space.
  • This is the person your algebra problems warned you about.
  • When I die, bury me face down so the whole world can kiss my ass.
  • We the unwilling, led by the unqualified, to kill the unfortunate, die for the ungrateful.
  • If life gives you melons, you might have dyslexia.
  • FFOS is like Android on crack... and not in a good way.
  • I spend too much time raiding windmills. We go side-by-side and laugh until it's right.
  • The spider on the porch is called Frank. Be nice to Frank; he guards the tomatoes.
  • I'm here to eat your cheese and ruin everyone's night, and I don't see any more cheese.
  • Good books make you ask questions. Bad readers want everything answered.
  • Lost my muchness, have I?
  • This definitely happened. The assault rifle also had a trench-coat concealing two pistols.
  • When a website like this is free, you're not the customer. You're the product.
  • No art is possible without a dance with death.
  • And you're amoral, because morality isn't moral anymore.
  • To let fact checking define the narrative would be a huge mistake.
  • What's next, pizza delivery hitmen?
  • Being Alpha lemur is lonely.
  • Literature is the most agreeable way of ignoring life.
  • Robots are starting to break the law and nobody knows what to do about it.
  • He wears a mask, and his face grows to fit it.
  • The lack of public communication is not an oversight. It's planned, and we are on schedule.
  • We are dancing in the hollow of nothingness. We are one flesh, but separated like stars.
  • You find my words dark. Darkness is in our souls, do you not think?
  • I am a demon to some, an angel to others.
  • The bullet we're running from is almost never the one that hits us.
  • Some days are good... and some days you just feel like the only dog at a llama orgy.
  • I don't do drugs. I am drugs.
  • Having evidence that actually supports your hypothesis is for losers.
  • Stars crisp between her teeth, moonlight numbing her lips, she wanted to taste galaxies that night.
  • In battered neon lights our names are written, like stars, but less.
  • Stars not where they seemed or were calculated to be, but nobody need worry.
  • Thin privilege is not burning down a building when you die.
  • Psychology is hate, at least as it is practised in western culture.
  • My time's not really worth much because I'm immortal.
  • WMF employees aren't even allowed to visit Commons while at work..
  • Don't tread on memes.
  • But what was the point of living so quietly you made no noise at all?
  • Most of our world is rubbish. It's difficult.
  • We expected to banish paper, but instead we banished thought.
  • The planet has survived everything in its time. It will survive us.
  • It's illegal for you to prove that I'm not immortal.
  • Art is how we decorate space; music is how we decorate time.
  • My want has burning fingers; you are the first person not to ask me to put out all my light.
  • My want has burning fingers; you are the first person not to ask me to put out all my light.
  • We value our ignorance of what is to come.
  • There is almost no such thing as a bad tactic, only bad targets.
  • They are 'progressive' only if the destination lies off a cliff.
  • It is a game about yelling at dragons. Literally.
  • I feel like a doormat. Can it be love?
  • Comparing useless metrics to uncertain metrics is quite sure to produce garbage.
  • align: 'inline' is a lie we tell our children at night.
  • Is there anything that the octopus hasn't destroyed?
  • You can't ticket me, I'm not a car!
  • It's human in that it's run by humans; there's no requirement that you be human to get in.
  • Dead guy is dead.
  • Remember to pay your butter tax.
  • The sports team from my area is superior to the sports team from your area.
  • Sitting in judgement does not come naturally to reasonable men.
  • Godzilla, covered in lettuce, stands beguiled.
  • While I am personally glad that we met... I feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing.
  • Such are my daydreams.
  • There are only so many horny birds you can laugh at.
  • The sports teams were sportsing really hard.
  • Those who do not want to imitate anything produce nothing.
  • But remember, there are two ways to dehumanize someone: by dismissing them, and by idolizing them.
  • Entertainment has nothing to do with reality. Entertainment is antithetical to reality.
  • I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.
  • All major changes are like death. You can't see the other side until you are there.
  • Insanity is relative. It depends on who has whom locked in what cage.
  • Evil turns upon itself; Good redeems its own.
  • You just have to trust your own madness.
  • I want a real happening to happen before I die.
  • Behead those who say Islam is violent.
  • They evolved organically and then proceeded to shit on themselves.
  • Why turn the vampire into fire when you could turn him into a lawn chair?
  • Or bees. Could be space bees. It never is, but it could be. Bees.
  • Elements of the past and future, combining to make something not quite as good as either.
  • You were like a christmas tree. All about the waiting. I wanted a present.
  • Cats are words. Full of words. Sphinxes, more so.
  • I think we can be relied on to react in the worst way possible.
  • Tits up front to distract or offend the enemy.
  • Are your HUE's properly calibrated, sir? Wouldn't want to spring a HUE leak!
  • Content shouldn't be playable by all players, but there should be content for all players to play.
  • As a gamer, what the hell did I miss? I've been busy playing... you know... games.
  • All politics is vandalism.
  • I'm not an Elder God. I promise.
  • It's both real and a troll.
  • The lack of regretting his own actions truly is regrettable.
  • I really shouldn't have wiped off the bait when I cleaned out the corpses.
  • Archaeology in the 1920s was mostly drinking and blowing things up.
  • This is my family. It's little and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.
  • It's far too elegant not to be true.
  • Killing your own clone is still murder.
  • We need video games that aren't fun.
  • Dinosaurs ruled our planet for eons and now they toot while people put oven mitts on their heads.
  • On a scale of 0 to 10, Gandhi is now 255 points of pure nuclear rage.
  • Made 'butcher fishperson corpse' have way less range and be a less desirable source of food.
  • Alphabeaver event creates alphabeavers who will consume trees until stopped.
  • Shopkeepers can polymorph into forms that don't let them do their jobs.
  • Depending on the moon cycle night is no longer pitch black. We think this is a good thing.
  • Copses will now regenerate deer, but you need to first delete all copses.
  • Fixed a bug that sometimes caused doors to float away into infinity.
  • Fixed issue where picking up a fish would destroy player.
  • Provost should no longer hate you in California if he hated you in Arizona.
  • Fishing is now more interesting.
  • Colors are now illegal.
  • Don't regret your past. Learn from it. Regrets just make a person weaker.
  • Nothing will ruin your 20s more than thinking you should have your life together already.
  • What's measured improves.
  • You don't grab power, you accumulate it. Quietly, without anyone noticing.
  • Vengeance is a dish best served sticky, with frosting flying in every direction.
  • Some kid in my class wrote an essay about how it never explicitly says Beowulf isn't a robot.
  • Treating for wrong diagnoses can result in side effects. Like death.
  • Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person?
  • The important parts exist in the silences between the words.
  • Had I not created my whole world, I would certainly have died in other people's.
  • You're one mystery I'd love to solve one day.
  • Wordpress is a remote shell that just happens to have a blogging feature.
  • I'm going to succeed because I'm crazy enough to think I can.
  • I have a theory for everything. I even have a theory for why I have a theory for everything.
  • There are years that ask questions and years that answer.
  • Quiet, please. Security sleeping.
  • It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone.
  • But I have about fifty books at home I haven't read, there's no reason for me to buy these.
  • Where there is no Echo there is no description of space or love. There is only silence.
  • We're all good. We're all evil.
  • Great minds don't think alike. They think for themselves.
  • If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
  • For you to insult me, I must first value your opinion.
  • A wall between worlds is the thickest of all.
  • A wall between worlds is the thinnest of all.
  • Okay, who invited the English Wikipedia?
  • It's the kind of game you don't win, even if you survive.
  • Truth tea.
  • Everyone deserves to die.
  • It's very easy to convince a person to leave behind all the things they don't have.
  • But not all men seek rest and peace; some are born with the spirit of the storm in their blood.
  • All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
  • The more I observe people, the more I realize I'm not as crazy as I thought I was.
  • I wish to paint in such a manner as if I were photographing dreams.
  • This is an actual room of mirrors. As you can see, it leads to glitches in the Matrix.
  • So I'm sitting in the Gravy-Tree. And my shadow is walking up and... licking my tree?
  • People, please stop being on caltrain tracks when the train comes...
  • Grumping is a free action. You can do those on anyone's turn.
  • It's like comparing peeing with chlamydia against peeing with gonorrhoea.
  • It is a prison so shitty that even the guards want to escape.
  • Any fool can know. The point is to understand.
  • If you know yourself, then you'll not be harmed by what is said about you.
  • Some days it storms, some days it shines. This is how flowers grow.
  • My books always say something, even if it's simple, like 'Don't breed crabs to be as big as men'.
  • We write to remember. We write to become. We write to honour those who came before.
  • It hit her like a brick through mud, which is to say very, very slowly.
  • The world around you is made up of protons, neutrons, morons, and electrons.
  • Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.
  • This is a world where people eschew sex to write a programming language for orangutans.
  • As far as the Australian Government is concerned not paying women more discriminates against them.
  • If I told you that a flower bloomed in a dark room, would you trust it?
  • Wherever the crowd goes, run in the other direction.
  • The beginning of the war will be secret.
  • You're actually a horrible, writhing mass of sentient voles.
  • Old manuscript discovered - Historians say 'Ooh, nifty!'
  • Be curious, and look for the lies in truth and the truth in lies.
  • Concepts speed and guide our thinking, but they don't always make us wise.
  • A bird in the hand is going to poop on you.
  • When the blind lead the blind, get out of the way.
  • Never underestimate the power of termites.
  • You will never understand that. Not with your linear thoughts. Not enough angles.
  • Some cats bring home mice or birds. Ours brings home sponges.
  • nginx understands. nginx is always there. nginx does not judge.
  • This duck is so undercooked, it's still out for revenge.
  • You gotta kill me, man. I can't go through eternity with a fucking dildo on my throat.
  • Anybody who hides information is an enemy.
  • Don't go. I'll eat you up, I love you so.
  • Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.
  • Those who escape hell however never talk about it, and nothing much bothers them after that.
  • Like all nonsense, it's intended to be easy to swallow.
  • Do you use your powers for good, or for AWESOME?
  • You saw all that flavour text.
  • They want to eradicate the homeless. Instead of eradicating homelessness.
  • I awoke, only to find that the rest of the world was still asleep.
  • As I cannot be the hero, let me be the monster, and lesson them in fear in place of love.
  • I'm afraid the plague has been cancelled due to illness.
  • The god of envy has a better temple than yours.
  • One day, my log will have something to say about this. My log saw something that night.
  • Solace in madness. There's solace in madness.
  • How do you prove that we exist? Maybe we don't exist...
  • Wait for the tea. The fish aren't running.
  • Dank meme.
  • I am 99% sure those iguanas aren't actually there.
  • You have taken non-lethal chocolate damage and are now unconscious.
  • People die of common sense, one lost moment at a time.
  • Be searching always for new sensations.
  • Mr. Grey, I believe I know your secret. You do have a heart.
  • Such intoxicating vanity.
  • Butterscotch ripple drips out of my pocket. I smear cream on the wall.
  • I've got too many minds in here. I'm too many things to too many people.
  • You're not nobody. You're you.
  • Turrets are not drunk, they are just dead.
  • So it's agreed. We attack at dawn, UTC.
  • Confine that which you fear to the mirror. Start with who is standing there. Then smile.
  • The true quarry of any great adventurer is the undiscovered territory of their own soul.
  • Welcome twilight. Welcome blackness. Welcome inky night. Only in darkness can I see your soul.
  • We are not the masks we wear. But if we don them, do we not become them?
  • The brightest light is invisible. It shines through your deeds and warms the universe.
  • Blink and it's gone, a moment, a breath, a dance of the mayflies. Just enough... for a lifetime.
  • Democracy may only be a few steps removed from anarchy, but at least it's not as loud.
  • I trust fast poison, the stars to wink out, and you, my love - and you.
  • To a god, a wall is but a line on the page. We are all naked, seen beyond seeing.
  • Conceal nothing. And watch the fools search forever.
  • There is 'absolute proof' that you are personified pyramid.
  • I have so much to teach you, but you ignore me, you evil asses.
  • Truth about Santa Claus debunks Santa God. God evolves from Santa.
  • 4 quadrants resemble circle, but do not constitute circle. Earth is more Cubic than orb.
  • I used to believe in circles.
  • 'One' does not exist, except in death state. One is a demonic religious lie.
  • You are educated stupid - and you have no inkling to just how evil you think.
  • Opposites create.
  • The entity you seek is death.
  • You are Enslaved by Word - no whip or shackle required.
  • He knows not that his face is a corner.
  • Man invented word, and calls it god.
  • Explain the physics of a god.
  • Ignoring Time Cube is Evil.
  • Word is not real nor truth, but deadly virus of humanity, transmitted through language.
  • If only the dead people who a god did not save could return and give their opinion of the god.
  • You've been educated stupid and are too dumb to know it, or maybe just too evil to care.
  • Verbing weirds language.
  • All the things I love are bad for me.
  • God or not, she doesn't necessarily know how to beard.
  • I just want to hold a baby goat.
  • It's the corpse of food.
  • Vanishing carts. They fit in your pocket, but they really weigh you down.
  • The point of the mask is not the mask but the face underneath.
  • You're such a spoon! Duller than a butter knife!
  • Stop calling me a utensian!
  • In the absence of war, invent one.
  • You are what you do. A man is defined by his actions, not his memory.
  • You're nothing. You're nobody. You're a stupid dream. All dreams come to an end.
  • There's things you can't get anywhere. But we dream they can be found in other people.
  • This is his true face, but few can see it. The gifted, and the damned.
  • Please don't illegally save the rare pepes.
  • The land of the dead doesn't have live ghost fish. Not like it matters.
  • Russia is well on track to becoming the weirdest dystopia ever imagined.
  • Being a jedi is a lot like owning a truck.
  • Than​k you for pushing the boundaries when they are not real.
  • Eat your information here.
  • Everyone who gets caught in rip-tides and dies in the ocean is technically killed by the moon.
  • There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
  • A beard such as is only found on gods and lunatics...
  • OR MAYBE '0' SHOULDN'T BE FALSEY.
  • Something must be done. This is something. Therefore, we must do it.
  • Black holes are the eyes of the gods, created by mass, interfacing with their colossal beings.
  • I expected the average color of a chicken to be a lot darker than a strawberry smoothie.
  • Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living.
  • Absinthe tastes like alcoholic Christmas trees. I can never decide if I like it or not...
  • 'Check your privilege'? Is that another way of saying 'know your place'?
  • This meal is so unfinished EA tried to publish it.
  • The student has earned her zero.
  • We make a plan, the plan gets ruined, the plan's back in order, and it's all good now.
  • The heart has a lot of tubes for moving blood.
  • An entire realm filled with all the nightmare creations of children's drawings.
  • I laugh in the face of danger. And then I hide until it goes away.
  • Pointing out that the Ottomans slaughtered a million and a half people is racist and islamaphobic.
  • Eat your aesthetic, Jonathan.
  • Basically I believe in peace and bashing two bricks together.
  • Dawn is the perfect time for screaming monkey duets.
  • I fear phones in particular. They suddenly get incoming calls.
  • Death would be a release from this life, and his sentence has yet to be carried out.
  • That settles it. We have to get rid of the ocean.
  • People in Germany would burn money because it was cheaper than actually buying fuel.
  • A man shitposts. A slave upvotes.
  • It's a mask. People wear them to hide themselves. And sometimes to reveal themselves.
  • He's never been charged with a crime. It's not illegal to fall asleep on your neighbour's roof.
  • The old magic is surprisingly literal.
  • The paste you are looking for does not exist.
  • Your hat looks confused and horrified.
  • Have you seen my speech organ?
  • What she lacks in age she makes up for in madness.
  • The sea pancake demands sacrifice.
  • Good and evil are relative, but being a dick cannot be allowed.
  • Pretending to be magic is the most efficient magic.
  • You need fake death to kill a fake god.
  • We just cut up our girlfriend with a chainsaw. Does that sound 'fine'?
  • It is said that those who don't sleep confuse reality with dream.
  • You know you've hit a new low when /pol/ has more claim to the moral high ground than you.
  • I've never seen someone swallow so many forks.
  • The atmosphere keeps all the gravity on the ground.
  • There are so many other kinds of stuff in the mind of mind.
  • It happened once this way. Why could it not happen this way again?
  • In space, there's nothing alive. There's nobody in space at all.
  • The living beings are not people like us, because they all die in biomes.
  • I know other people who give kids to the living beings.
  • Praise the sun!
  • Does a leopard change his shorts?
  • Just because it is alive does not make it good.
  • Force is a type of force.
  • That which does not rise may eternal lie, and even in strange aeons bakes Cthulhu Pie.
  • If they looked in a mirror they would hate themselves. Perhaps even more than they normally do.
  • I'm never going to unsee this so I might as well inflict it on as many other people as I can.
  • Memes cannot be created or destroyed, only transferred from one form to another.
  • Surrounding yourself with soft stuff, it isn't life, it's death.
  • Some stories are better left untold.
  • If there's no mod for a gun that fires cars, I'm not playin' it.
  • By the way, guys, we had an election here yesterday. It was hilarious.
  • I broke Nostalgia wiki. Out all the Wikipedias I could have broken, I broke the most useless one.
  • It may look stupid but if it works it ain't stupid.
  • I'm sure that thing is loaded with bats.
  • It's really quite strenuous doing nothing all day.
  • Dying is such a grossly inefficient use of time.
  • I don't do drugs. I am drugs. Take me, I am the drug. Take me, I am hallucinogenic.
  • When we are tired, we are attacked by ideas we conquered long ago.
  • This guy is so rich he has a swimming pool in his swimming pool.
  • What a culture we live in. We are swimming in an ocean of knowledge and drowning in ignorance.
  • If you read to your kids, you're 'unfairly disadvantaging' others.
  • Tankity tankity tankity.
  • PANCAKE CHICKEN IS WATCHING YOUR EVERY MOVE. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO ESCAEP
  • Coots know how to live. I wish I were a coot.
  • What do you want to be when you give up?
  • Our victory is measured by the souls we save and not the souls we kill.
  • Being an idiot is great. Everything is new and interesting.
  • Yes, Captain America has LEGS!
  • We're going to inject him full of tiny bats.
  • The trees ate my bicycle.
  • If captured, we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them.
  • Don't estimate all humanity by the limits of your own capability.
  • The moment can't stay. It moves on due to momentum.
  • We hide in your hat.
  • We aren't like them. We are the elite. We are going to change the world.
  • What part of a goat is a snail?
  • We were born in the black hearts of stars. Mortal rules are nothing to us.
  • The meaning of life is bucket.
  • I'm not in a sufficiently safe space to make mistakes.
  • A is for effort. B is for don't burn yourself out. C is for learn to spell, damnit.
  • Frowning is a tool of the living.
  • Metaphors become obsolete when thread and needles run so very cheap.
  • To understand what you are saving, first you must see it suffer.
  • To be a legend, you've either got to be dead or excessively old.
  • YOUR NEUTRONS ARE DISPLEASINGLY ALIGNED.
  • The books of the past may contain word of the future.
  • If we all agreed, nothing would be funny.
  • I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.
  • All it takes is one marine to break the stick. But then you have two sticks. Stick win every time.
  • There are no false gods, only false believers.
  • There's nothing false about hope.
  • My cat went full-loaf. I didn't know this was possible.
  • Alligators have not evolved in two hundred million years. They're too lazy.
  • I'm at a silent disco. Except I have hurt my foot so I'm just sitting with headphones on.
  • What I am saying is that gods are the Borg and that is why they must be avoided at all costs.
  • There is an elevated level of mollusks in the region.
  • In some languages the mouse is a rat.
  • They're not people. They don't even have collar bones.
  • Everything breaks down. Civilisations, structures, worlds. Even light decays.
  • Gay marriage can't melt steel beams.
  • How do you see the dead stars contained within the sun?
  • Your gift is adaptability. Do not squander it.
  • Better to be mad than sleepless and sane. Better to dream!
  • Do you think you'll never have to fight a girl? They come in girl as well, the monsters.
  • Everything is bomb. Even bomb is bomb.
  • Come to VLC Media Player in next 15 mins if you want an ass kicking.
  • Rivers filled the cracks in the world. I followed every river then, from Rubicon to Kherlen.
  • Pancakes have many uses, and yes, saving your place in a literature is one of them.
  • As usual, nobody inside the Foundation knows anything.
  • Wooden kimonos are so unfashionable this time of year.
  • Just remember. Where you hang your head is home.
  • Get it? No, I don't get it either.
  • I am as serious as a midget at a nudist colony.
  • Yes, if we simply apply logic, this account needs "tools" the way an elephant needs an umbrella.
  • Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.
  • Keep as much client-side, and as much server-side, as you can.
  • This is an example about how to produce a "formal" impact without a "real" impact.
  • We could talk about this forever, but what are we going to do about it?
  • Professor Jiggly is loose in Cat Room.
  • My hope is that people will follow my example and also become dogs.
  • The father who so lovingly murdered his seven children...
  • Videogames don't have to be games.
  • I am a mighty space wizard, and all I do is collect rocks and play with slugs.
  • I've noticed that very few people are scary once they've been poked in the eye.
  • Mexico City is loud. 22 million people, and it feels like it.
  • While a big balls of bees might be an improvement over a hornet, I wouldn't call it a 'solution'.
  • The speed of light is basically the framerate of the universe.
  • I will keep and hold it dear until cats stop pooping, and I no longer need to clean the litter box.
  • Those kids never deprived of knowledge and information will never know how precious it is.
  • Did you not sudo hard enough or something?
  • Disappointment is often far worse than simple displeasure.
  • Ocelots have weird sleeping habits.
  • That would have no meaning, no purpose. Existence if given for free has no worth.
  • It's a trap! DON'T OPEN THE DRAGON.
  • Mexico is not in the middle east.
  • It would be a bit inconvenient if Wikimedia could not run MediaWiki.
  • Attention James Hare, a subject you are interested in, WikiProject, was mentioned.
  • I'm listening to the sun hum its lonely song of oblivion into my ears.
  • Please assume the position.
  • Life is a balancing act of balancing acts.
  • It took 640 paces to walk back and forth between here and there ten times.
  • Shitposting is human nature.
  • You're no fun, you fall right over.
  • Dancing phalanges.
  • I rarely find motive in bird vomit.
  • As is the case with most writing, it reveals more about the writer than about the subject matter.
  • It's an amazing feat to have produced a movie where every decision made seems to be the wrong one.
  • For my next act of villainy, I will adopt an orphaned puppy. You will never catch me!
  • This man is wrong even if we overlook him being wrong.
  • Your lymph nodes should be covered in turmeric one hundred percent of the time.
  • Spoons should make you laugh from your knees.
  • Only consume apples that really speak to you.
  • Consider getting rid of your hands. They clutter up the arms.
  • The universe is a yawning chasm, filled with emptiness and the puerile meanderings of sentience.
  • By your side I'm most quiet and most unquiet, most inhibited and most free.
  • Beneath those stars is a universe of gliding monsters.
  • Our dreams will break the boundaries of our fear.
  • Remember... its not a lie if you believe it.
  • It's a happy tune about a hangover that comes after 5 days of heavy drinking.
  • The Amtrak lounge is an otherworldly place. It feels removed from time.
  • How are bananas inside our children if children aren't real?
  • You did not believe me. I will show you your truth.
  • Be good. Be better than me.
  • It just gets boring whenever each day seems to be worse than the previous day...
  • What's funnier than a three-legged pregnant attack dog?
  • Take a moment to feel sorry for snails. Their anus is located on the top of "their head."
  • What is IRC? It's a live feed of cute pictures of animals that also lets you talk with people.
  • If you need to be paid money to be a nice person, you are not a nice person.
  • I tried to explain, it's not violent death that makes me morbidly depressed; it's life.
  • It's okay if it's half-assed as long as it's the right half of the ass.
  • When the apocalypse comes, pestilence will ride wearing Wakefield's face.
  • You just can't have your cake and everyone else's and eat it all.
  • You can never achieve happiness by making the world conform to your desires.
  • We're getting much better with regards to PHP we didn't write.
  • You don't even know. Dolphins are kinky bastards.
  • The god machine is evolving every time an angel falls.
  • You've been caged. How do you do it? How do you live?
  • Some days it's all you can do is just mumble.
  • I suppose if you can go wrong, you might as well go really wrong.
  • That's why I get the big bucks. To identify whether it's a dot or not.
  • A force will not move unless acted upon by another force.
  • I think earthworms are the answer to human trafficking.
  • The sickly, rotten sweetness of putrescence of orchid seeps into everything and lingers...
  • If anyone gets the one about ham and corn, give it a 1, please.
  • My perpetual need to argue has been quashed by the fact that you are right.
  • My toes can kill. Mostly they just kill me.
  • You are loved as much as you love nachos.
  • Look behind you. Fear the potato.
  • An ending is the beginning of something new, hopefully food?
  • It's just as it is. With pigeons.
  • Gamers have no social capital. In fact it's worse than that: everyone hates them.
  • Journalism is supposed to give a voice to the voiceless.
  • Why do all the hors d'oeuvres look like porcupines?
  • The prisoner thinks he is free because he refrains from touching the walls of his dungeon.
  • Whether you can kill to eat depends on the victim's citizenship.
  • If they're frozen in time, they'd be invincible. Since there's no time in them for them to be hurt.
  • What part of glowing butterflies don't you understand?
  • Real isn't how you are made. It's a thing that happens to you.
  • Ghosts talking to us all the time. But we think their voices are our own thoughts.
  • To live through defeat is the truly courageous way; if it's dying you want, you can do it anytime.
  • Dreams are often most profound when they seem the most crazy.
  • Stop romanticizing ripping holes in reality to the realms of dread elder gods.
  • Everything of value has been built in Hell.
  • Stay woke.
  • This carnival is not well-oiled!
  • Think of it less as a wound, more as an allergic reaction to being hit with a car.
  • This is quite possibly the worst javascript plugin ever written.
  • Note: This is ALPHA software and may result in irreversible brain damage.
  • My bones whisper to my blood; my sleep deceives me.
  • We didn't expect this to be as depressing as it turned out to be.
  • The singularity happened, but not to us.
  • Have you seen that corner store owner from Toronto? He's got a curved sword. Curved. Sword.
  • I am fragile and unholy. Open. Ravage. Eat.
  • The zoo heist was a success.
  • You need to be identified to talk due to niggers.
  • The passengers have the haunted, vacant look of people who have just taken an Illinois road trip.
  • Communism is the only true expression of individualism.
  • I'm glad this terrifying pit into the abyss is wheelchair accessible.
  • Unlike all those politicians, the Royal family actually send their children off to war.
  • The first duty of philosophy is making you understand what deep shit you are in.
  • All is flux, and nothing abides.
  • I am a creature of spite.
  • If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.
  • Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these.
  • Estonia is wannabe Finland, and yet it's doing a better job at being Finland than Finland.
  • The parchment is very hairy.
  • We are not even made of the same stuff as most of the universe... our universe is made of darkness.
  • They called an empty square with nothing in it 'bigotry'.
  • I won a lifetime supply of zucchini from my garden. Seriously does anyone want some. Please.
  • You may be insane but at least you're okay.
  • That makes sense. It's kind of hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it.
  • It wasn't meant to end like this.
  • Gears are a language. Everything we understand is language.
  • Maybe people and clouds are beautiful because you can't see everything.
  • And even if you're not here to stay, I'm happy the universe allowed your soul to stop by.
  • Old stories are like old friends... you have to visit them from time to time.
  • Your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.
  • I do not see the world at all; I invent it.
  • How many times have I told you about blowing up tanks! You are a naughty, wicked rabbit!
  • You have always approached everything terrible trustfully. You have wanted to pet every monster.
  • The subject doesn't die or go mad. He suffers.
  • The silence sings. It is musical. I remember a night when it was audible. I heard the unspeakable.
  • More work means more justification for money.
  • NASA is sending Jupiter's wife to check on Jupiter and his affairs and lovers.
  • I've got my own story, just like everyone else. I've got my own sad story.
  • The fastest man in the world has the fastest slowest animal.
  • You ignorant chicken weenies.
  • You are above the gay itself. I hereby award you the title of 'Big Gay'.
  • Maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves.
  • Peril puts the beauty in life, the meaning in love, and the soul in coffee.
  • Of all the friends I've had, you're the first.
  • My wife and my kids are crying, go through attachments.
  • Perfect people scare me, so don't try to be that.
  • Park on the street. Don't read instructions too thoroughly. Run with scissors.
  • Racism is the oldest form of collectivism.
  • I’m just so low on spoons and I need all the spoons I have to take care of sick people tonight.
  • They had pictures. Picture books are for kids. That's a rule.
  • Welcome to the slim shady mecca rebecca, its right next to the trimester.
  • In the world of double realities, one narrative is public, and one is real.
  • I know you want closure, but life is just a lot of lose ends.
  • Thank you very much for not suing us with a greatest kind of patience I have ever witnessed.
  • I want to be inside your darkest everything.
  • I have a diary to keep secrets from my computer.
  • It's said that those who don't sleep confuse reality with dream.
  • Build up the weak by pulling down the strong.
  • Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.
  • I know my rights! You can't just pin me down and slather peanut butter all over my private self!
  • Circles are pointless.
  • Do you ever stop to listen? Have you heard the sweet siren song of oblivion?
  • I'm learning all of the time. The tombstone will be my diploma.
  • My takeaway from the chemical hazard work is that chemists really, really like naming things.
  • Our news agencies make a living of incomplete news.
  • It turned out the way that a lot of bike versus car collisions go, which is to say I lost.
  • History might not repeat itself but historians most certainly repeat one another.
  • You push and pull like wolves at the door and all I hear is humming.
  • Sweet dreams are made of bees.
  • The story is fairly simple, and acts mostly as an excuse to blow things to bits.
  • Nobody knows who Ellu is but her chickens are messy and unorganized.
  • Ei sitä halua Erkkikään.
  • Nothing better to make the pain go away than holding a puppy after killing hundreds of people.
  • Can someone please tell me when the fuck MS Paint became so powerful?
  • You'd be impressed with the view if it weren't so cloudy.
  • I always wonder why no one likes me and then I remember I don't even like me.
  • The urge to destroy is also a creative urge.
  • I found a field full of wonder and awesomeness, and I'm being chased through it by a goddamn bear.
  • An entire sea of water can't sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship.
  • Nobody is equal to anybody. Even the same man is not equal to himself on different days.
  • It was obvious before we began the project and we learned nothing.
  • You can make antimatter move in strange ways if you set your equipment up wrong.
  • He knows just enough english to be a real danger to himself and others.
  • Strict parents raise the best liars.
  • It looks like this is going to be a very good game in terms of bears.
  • It's lovely once you get rid of the people.
  • I met some guys from the internet at a penis museum.
  • Expectations will fail in a quantum world.
  • Given the opportunity, would you have sex with god?
  • I look it up every few years, and then promptly forget it all.
  • The revolution will not be community-approved.
  • That would be an ecumenical matter.
  • This is a rare case where I think we could potentially take a lesson from Gerrit's user interface.
  • Friendship with a sock knitter is the best investment your feet can make.
  • I've done it dozens of times. Plus or minus 1 dozen.
  • It is against our friendly space policy to abuse yourself.
  • If people write bad code, they are more likely now to unintentionally write good bad code.
  • The world's economy is driven by greed and stupidity. Can we be different?
  • That is the longest line of police cars I have ever jaywalked in front of.
  • Played college ball you know...
  • It's so retarded you'd easily be fooled into thinking we're talking about Finland.
  • It's embarrassing so many people took an unbaited hook.
  • Using MediaWiki as a one-person notepad is like mowing your lawn with a tank.
  • I fail to believe Bethesda has successfully finished a product.
  • If you can't speak, try massaging an op for voice. That is not a typo.
  • The only way to get smarter is by playing a smarter opponent.
  • Dress up as EditPage.php. It's scary.
  • If I cannot drink, then I will begin to remember, and to think.
  • Dreams are personal myths. Myths are communal nightmares.
  • Blue ray doesn't have the warmth of a shitty pixelated rip.
  • In no condition to take down the King. Dead by our standards. Dying by the mythological.
  • Parse error: syntax error, unexpected (T_PAAMAYIM_NEKUDOTAYIM)
  • Yes, we're working on it, please don't get your panties in an uproar. More on this later.
  • I can't figure out a good way to integrate by parts using latex.
  • Your mother was a calculator and your father ran on Windows Vista!
  • Good day, Your Majesty. I'd tip my hat to you, but I lost it.
  • I'm afraid this one is a toilet in the fabric of the universe.
  • Sorry. Could not find the program "program".
  • It's a very serious symptom. If you are poop vomiting, you are probably going to die.
  • It's like a turducken. Reality being the stuffing.
  • It's that time of the month again. It's Caltrain hit someone day.
  • They're zero days. You can use them for fun stuff. A malicious entity can use them for bad stuff.
  • I contribute quality to every fandom I touch.
  • Where do lung holes come from?
  • I don't think you can DoS phabricator worse than it DoSes itself.
  • Through the vast expanse of space the gooseman honks gently.
  • Without the use of the front legs the cat walks plantigrade like other bipedal animals.
  • The best way to solve problems is to create more problems until you are dead.
  • It's like doing peyote and sneezing slowly for six hours.
  • Awards are stupid, but they're a lot less stupid if they go to the right people.
  • If it's buried, it's probably for a reason. It should stay buried.
  • Look at this! It's a train, and it works.
  • I love my car. I watch it every week.
  • Let us pretend the whispering is only the desert wind.
  • We put health and safety notices all over it because that's what the BBC likes.
  • I don't drink often. It's almost as bad for me as going for long walks in the middle of the night.
  • Stupid people can believe in anything, so you can believe in yourself.
  • He who has something to hide should hide that he has something to hide.
  • I only work in two currencies. Words and hags. You have nothing to bribe me with.
  • And the truth shall pond.
  • The fastest car in the world is a retntal.
  • We made a gentleman's sausage!
  • The fastest car in the world is a rental.
  • Are you even metal enough to drink all these chainsaws?
  • A break-in is one of those rare things where you're not supposed to show up early.
  • Christmas Raptor says your entrails are particularly tasty this year.
  • Shall not I tighten a moose's parasite?
  • The end is loading.
  • I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
  • I wonder if I have mild OCD or just really tedious autism.
  • Doilies, linen cloths and similar fancy dressings are hereby known as 'Table Lingerie'.
  • I offer key product insights and pictures of fluffy dogs.
  • It starts, as all good stories do, in the middle.
  • Voting machines don't register angry glints in people's eyes.
  • Look at linux. It was reviewd over email by a jerk, and it works.
  • It's a man under a tarp versus the US government.
  • Buy him Neapolitan ice cream but eat everything except the vanilla and then give it to him.
  • Young meme, grab your breadsticks and run, I said young meme, man door hand hook car.
  • Moth eggs. Everywhere.
  • Objection! The defense requests for the prosecution to... er... stop doing that.
  • Tiny frogs are tarantula housecats.
  • Today is henceforth National Strategic Butt Coverings Day.
  • Oversimplify anything and you can make it mean or say whatever you want.
  • Is Rock Sand actually a hivemind of spiders infesting a human shell?
  • Does your page design improve when you replace every image with William Howard Taft?
  • Not every interface should be designed for someone surfing the web from their toilet.
  • It's why I hate zombies. I can destroy everything, but in a zombie apocalypse I've already lost.
  • We steal from them, they steal from someone else. It's called an economy, and we're part of it.
  • Very little touched by Google remains untainted.
  • It is a solid choice for the connoisseur of incomprehensible use cases.
  • It is an insult to practically anybody with any point of view at all.
  • Just put some gears on it and call it steampunk.
  • The whiteboard version of the word-salad email.
  • Does the 'q' in 'ball' sound at all different from the 'ch' in 'cheese'?
  • The line between grief and guilt is a thin one.
  • In Latin, consonant length was distinctive, as in anus 'old woman' vs. annus 'year'.
  • Any group that will burn art will burn people if you give them the chance.
  • The attempt to make heaven on earth invariably produces hell.
  • There must be a hole in the bottom of the boat. How else could new hermits have arrived?
  • Once asleep, you have to remember not to dream.
  • In time we will all be worn down into granules, washed into the sea, and dispersed.
  • Reinforced the firewall.
  • Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
  • Oh, dear god. Look at it. It's squishy.
  • Forgetting is a piercing wound keen as the first loss.
  • Yam is meat. Meat potatoes, not sweet potatoes. The sweet meat you can't beat.
  • Also the roof resigned with the board simply accepting her resignation.
  • I have never regretted my silence. As for my speech, I have regretted it over and over again.
  • Did we just break into a military base to investigate a rabbit?
  • The Crab Cycle. There is only one step, and it is crab.
  • There, 27 pages of procedural masturbation. Much of it copied from other places.
  • "National security" is literally the new Hitler card.
  • Secrets. They are doors and walls, all at once. You lead a complicated life.
  • As an organisation we have been beaten into a pulp with words.
  • Hackers aren't smart; people are stupid.
  • In India, size doesn't matter. If you need to get 18 people in the car, you can.
  • It's called friendship. It's like therapy for poor people.
  • Petting a cat while tripping balls feels LUXURIOUS.
  • Throughout the world, speech is chilled more by thugs than by police.
  • I confused elegance with sophistication, but perhaps they are the opposite.
  • No, they haven't been hiding their money. They've been hiding ours by calling it theirs.
  • France is a country you have to drive through to get to Italy. That's all it's for.
  • If half the population of the country believes a wrong thing, it's by definition 'reasonable'.
  • There are only two types of encryption: that which works and that which doesn't.
  • I am the sysadmin to your superuser. For every hole you find, I will have a labyrinth.
  • The soft scraping noise as the leaf unfurls is not something most people would think to include.
  • Oh my word, this tune, it's annoying. Yes I know, it's really annoying.
  • The wheel may be spinning, but the hamster is dead.
  • I am a well-rounded twat.
  • It will be easier to collect a data.
  • The worst victim of mass surveillance is the guy who actually has to carry it out.
  • You're dumb, you'll die, and you'll leave a dumb corpse.
  • As gatz gatz, so gatz the strogatz.
  • You too will be forgotten once your duty is done.
  • I hate it. I don't have a life, I just exist.
  • They're defective by design as they're both too secret and not secret enough at the same time.
  • Intelligence is the capacity for stupidity.
  • Lion roars are not as powerful as some guy named frank with a trash can.
  • We know about a specific guy who lived 5000 years ago, by name, because he was a huge asshole.
  • Just get totally miserable. All your priorities change.
  • There are many kinds of inner strength. Such as bowels.
  • 'Virtualization' is an admin-word for 'I don't care how dangerous and slow it is'.
  • Git gud.
  • I hate playing god. It's stupid. Maybe I'll try playing rugby instead.
  • Ashley is a Windows user. He knows all about chronic pain!
  • The owls are not what they seem.
  • Yoo hoo, mister tentacle guy! I have to go to the bathroom.
  • Germany exists.
  • Beware of bathrooms.
  • In a left-handed fish, it is always the left side that gets both eyes.
  • It's squirrels, not hackers, that are the chief threat to a stable power grid.
  • Any sufficiently technical expert is indistinguishable from a witch.
  • Basically your day planner is fanfic for your real life.
  • I'm tired of you always turning every conversation to welding!
  • Bite the dust. Kick the emptiness. Kiss the void.
  • One might be tempted to dismiss these problems as merely pragmatic ones.
  • Ooziefy Wikidata ArticlePlaceholder Spark job.
  • It is better to walk with friends in the dark than to walk alone in the light.
  • Because I'm Batman begins.
  • Even though something has become a cliché doesn't mean it's lost all value when used correctly.
  • All sins are addictive. And the terminal point of that addiction is damnation.
  • Sometimes the 'owner' is the person who has the deep misfortune of being most expert.
  • In this case karma is the DM wishing to hurt you in some way down the line.
  • Violating trade embargoes is not a good thing for a volunteer-run chapter to do.
  • I believe we can find all these hells on earth. That's why they're hells.
  • I'm not going to rationalize this because I don't have to.
  • Don't sweat their pettiness, and don't pet their sweatiness.
  • You are not alone. It's not your fault. What they're doing is not okay.
  • Give him a moment, dear. He's just dead.
  • How could I possibly commit blasphemy if the gods have given me this body?
  • Capybaras are friend-shaped.
  • The theory is that whales survive because they are so big that their cancers get cancer and die.
  • As it turns out, extremists don't have a firm grasp on logic.
  • The coward in the shadows can be more dangerous than the champion in the light.
  • I tolerate worms.
  • There isn't anybody to enforce the law. Corrupt from the top down. Who do we call?
  • When in doubt, add gogs.
  • Quiet good taste is the key. Once I learned to avoid that, I could find a look that worked for me.
  • In words we lose ourselves. And find ourselves.
  • Music continues to tell a story where words end.
  • Everything in this world can serve as a weapon or a sexual fetish.
  • Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life.
  • Lego, Lego, Lego, Lego, cat crotch, Lego... ...wait...
  • Steve. Steve. Steve. Let me tell you about Steve.
  • It didn't happen! That's why we get so angry when you mention it.
  • English isn't a language, it's three languages stacked on top of each other wearing a trenchcoat.
  • It's true for everyone: you're always leaving home to go home.
  • Obviously we just lost the satellite feed. That sucks.
  • Hogtown Creek is classified as impaired due to elevated levels of fecal bacteria.
  • Show good ripseoxlect at school.
  • Looks like someone needs to become acquainted with my stick.
  • HALE HORTLER.
  • Do not move your name.
  • Deviation will be punished unless it is exploitable.
  • You ran so hard from your parents that you became them on crack.
  • The building isn't abandoned. Bears live there now.
  • Benis.
  • This is my resting bitch sword.
  • They have all the dots they need. And some extras, too.
  • Are you sitting on your foot?
  • ¡Fuímonos!
  • Tolerance only bred more extremism instead of fixing it.
  • Please clap.
  • Only an extremist believes the ends always justify the means.
  • He who dares not offend cannot be honest.
  • Basically we now have a walking couch with anxiety it's going to get attacked at any second.
  • Shitposting is what we have in common. It breaks down the barriers we put up between ourselves.
  • Only those things are beautiful which are inspired by madness and written by reason.
  • Tyranny is defined as that which is legal for the government but illegal for the citizenry.
  • Anything you practice you'll get good at. Including bullshit.
  • Have I done all these things? Or do I dream? Or am I mad?
  • If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face — forever.
  • What author would be without the advantage of being able to walk invisible?
  • J'aime la nuit, j'ai les idées plus claires dans le noir.
  • It's the easiest thing in the world to do. Any imbecile can hate. It's lazy.
  • The Venn diagram of things I find funny and reasons I'm going to hell is a circle.
  • Hello my baby hello my honey hello darkness my old friend.
  • There is another trick to talk to the dead. To wash and oil them.
  • They desire that deposit.
  • You be good, see you tomorrow. I love you.
  • I dance because I like dancing. When I dance, my mom laughs. My mom says laughing is happiness.
  • My dream is to make people happy because I'm happy.
  • No one is above pranks - neither being pranked nor even doing the pranks.
  • Our death ray doesn't seem to be working. I'm standing right in it, and I'm not dead yet.
  • Everyone can change. Even you can. You are not your past.
  • Everything works out in the end. If it's not working out, it's not the end.
  • I'm not sure I helped, but I commented.
  • Any bathroom becomes a liminal space if you put enough exotic birds in it.
  • Don't let your brother-in-law be the only person who keeps your community running.
  • Asians are asian because they evolved to withstand the winds of where they live.
  • Us adults are always in pain. That's why we get to drink alcohol.
  • It's only as fun as it hurts.
  • All of the tears shed throughout history have laid the foundations of the life you have now.
  • Having a business model is usually more lucrative than not having one.
  • You don't know you're from a Death World until you leave it.
  • Beer bottles are jewel beetle waifu pillows.
  • You can always kill yourself tomorrow. Why not give today a chance?
  • Everything in the universe is either a potato, or not a potato.
  • Because for all your stupid flaws, you're one of my children, and I love you.
  • Time is dead and meaning has no meaning.
  • If you can't make your own neurotransmitters, storebought is fine.
  • The left thinks our speech is violence and thinks their violence is speech.
  • He is even worse than a leaf, he is - may Allah forgive me for uttering this word - an Australian.
  • Fear is freedom. Subjugation is liberation. Fiction is reality.
  • They are very good at making powerful words lose their power.
  • Wasn't it stupid to believe in the intelligence of the public?
  • The street finds its own uses.
  • It concerns the nature of secrets and the shapes of dreams.
  • The most popular e-mail client in the world does in fact handle mailto: links. Shockingly!
  • When is a monster not a monster? Oh, when you love it.
  • All cats seem to just categorize humans as awful ugly children who need to be taught to cat.
  • It is said that any virtue when take to its extreme can become a vice.
  • Too much sanity may be madness. And maddest of all, to see life as it is and not as it should be.
  • The self-evident truths are the least understood.
  • Men cannot be made good by the state, but they can easily be made bad. Morality depends on liberty.
  • Until an hour before the Devil fell, God thought him beautiful in Heaven.
  • How long is forever? Sometimes, just one second.
  • I got high and forgot I wasn't supposed to get high.
  • Perhaps the future is predetermined by the character of those who shape it.
  • Don't ever be the first to stop applauding.
  • The most dangerous word or phrase there is is the one without precise definition.
  • Thinking is difficult; that's why most people judge.
  • Our caching support makes less and less sense the more I dig into it.
  • Everything in this world is magic, except to the magician.
  • Break often - not like porcelain, but like waves.
  • The Lord spoke to Job out of the whirlwind, saying, "MISTAKES WERE MADE."
  • By US legal standards, this Italian culvert is an arch bridge.
  • Until the lion learns to write, every story will glorify the hunter.
  • You will be tested in the same way every time until you learn your lesson.
  • If he always talks about virtue, it means that he is corrupted.
  • They weren't ready for you. Their loss. You glow regardless.
  • Inchinga has a beautiful ui so it should be easy to move around in it.
  • Workaround: If we wait long enough, the Earth will eventually be consumed by the Sun.
  • The man who will not defend the honour of his cat cannot be trusted to defend anything.
  • You should be afraid to speak up, but you should be more afraid not to.
  • He wrote the big story of our time, and it's an incredibly boring one.
  • Become who you are by learning who you are.
  • We are all fated to be masters. It is simply a matter of seeing it through.
  • It's a problem I have no wish to solve.
  • Wake up. It's time for your sleeping pills.
  • For some people it's advisable to never miss a chance to stay silent.
  • If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.
  • When someone dies, flies are the first to know.
  • Education is the process of diminishing deception.
  • I don't know, but for me that is the greatest form of literary merit, tearing a person apart.
  • But in reading great literature I become a thousand and yet remain myself.
  • It's scary how many people think they want to die when really they want to start living.
  • Status: We deployed to Beta Cluster and it promptly broke.
  • If we learn our limitations too soon, we never learn our power.
  • Someday this pain will be useful.
  • We live in a violently beautiful universe. And we get to experience it.
  • Mosquitoes are grossly overlooked as a threat during a zombie apocalypse.
  • All sorrows can be borne if you put them in a story.
  • Are you inspired more by greatness or by failure?
  • And so the damned are bound and made clean under the visage of the Eternal.
  • Fake Hitlers cannot open doors.
  • Happiness is sosig.
  • There's no advantage. It's all degrees of disadvantage.
  • You've just found religion. Nothing more dangerous than that.
  • Only a mathematician deals in absolutes.
  • Gegen eine Dummheit, die in Mode ist, kommt keine Klugheit an.
  • Enquiring minds wish to waste time.
  • Having a job is terrible and not having a job is worse. I wish I didn't feel that way.
  • No number can be divided by 64.
  • The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
  • I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else's god?
  • Lead us not unto temptation, for we can find it just fine on our own.
  • Consider the octopus.
  • It's magic, but it works like science.
  • Oh, will you look at that. The crotchbow has emerged.
  • I wanted to be a unicorn when I grew up. I have yet to grow up.
  • I'm too scared to ask what's going on.
  • Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris? Nescio, sed fiere sentio et excrucior.
  • Insane people seem to be graced with unexplainable talents.
  • I am merely using 'God' as a reference to a long-term pattern we cannot decipher.
  • Today is a good day to do what has to be done by me.
  • Abuse is about control.
  • I forgot to sleep because I was thinking about memes.
  • Death brings not salvation - only evanescence.
  • The hedge apple tree drops durian-shaped useless fruit on all passers.
  • You are cursed with free will.
  • I helped write the code. I have seen the abyss.
  • LLOOOOOOOOOL. NO SUCH THING AS TOO DURK.
  • Nietzsche's Beyond Good & Evil isn't a book at all. It's a series of bombs.
  • He is a human despite being born a clown.
  • We're gathered here today to celebrate the union between the Octovine and all our weapons.
  • The blatantly obvious, it turns out, is generally only obvious in retrospect.
  • Some people really are too stupid to live, but that tends to be a self-solving issue.
  • Finding the truth can be simple. It's accepting the simplicity that's hard.
  • We pull them in with a sin, something they'll do anything to keep buried.
  • Ah. You are motherfucker?
  • There's a fine line between heroism and arson.
  • You can't demand a service while simultaneously degrading those who provide it for you.
  • I forgot that Italian was a language.
  • There can't be a perfect browser for the totally borked internet.
  • Now I've lost it, I know I can kill. The truth exists beyond the gate.
  • I have found heaven and it's full of liquor.
  • Never stop being a good person because of bad people.
  • A poor plan. My sword is only steel in a useful shape. It's me you should fear.
  • I'm your mother. I don't get to be scared of you. I have to be scared for you.
  • Never forgive, always forget. Remain perpetually angry and confused.
  • A license to kill is also a license not to kill.
  • He killed them with their love. That's how it is every day all over the world.
  • He infected us both, Mr. Jingles. With life.
  • We each owe a death. There are no exceptions. But oh God, sometimes the Green Mile seems so long.
  • I feel like he's suave and confident like a spy, but he's not a spy, he's a sex offender.
  • I heard your boyfriend fart the alphabet the other night. I do not want to sleep with that.
  • Favorite cryptid: locals.
  • We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.
  • All these technical wishes can be fixed if we just had strong AI.
  • You just think something and run a line around your think.
  • Our entire country is a money laundering conspiracy.
  • People have literally just always been people.
  • Avoid floodwaters. They may contain floating asteroids of fire ants.
  • I swear to you that to think too much is a disease, a real, actual disease.
  • Every evil screams only one message: 'I am good'.
  • The past is never dead, it's not even past.
  • Where there is sorrow, there is holy ground.
  • If your religion teaches you not to question, then your religion is hiding something from you.
  • If the zoo bans me from hollering at the animals I will face god and walk backwards into hell.
  • Ironic, isn't it, how we eventually become parents to our parents.
  • As others have noted, Egyptians are Egyptians, and they were so in the past as well.
  • The definition of maturity is knowing everyone else is just as confused as you are.
  • You have the free will to do as I tell you... or be punished.
  • You either laugh or you cry.
  • It is what it is.
  • The goat does as it wants.
  • If the ocean ever disappears DON'T GO LOOKING FOR IT. Go in the other direction.
  • Ocean not lost, ocean is actually winding up to kick you very hard in the nuts.
  • 'Deep reinforcement learning' is a weird euphemism for abusing your polygon boy with boxes.
  • A sword is a key - all the time. And when you stick it in people, it unlocks their deaths.
  • It has taken war for us to get here. What do I know of peace?
  • A cover letter is why you are interested in a job and what you can bring to the organization.
  • I smile when I catch god watching me through the eyes of a horse.
  • Even Muslims cannot tell the difference between Islam and trolling.
  • It is always the murder victim who is placed on trial.
  • Every book is a children's book if the kid can read.
  • Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 10,000 of something.
  • Tennis is depressing because no matter how good you get, you will never be as good as a wall.
  • Whose bright idea was it to put a bear in a bear costume?
  • You fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are.
  • Get you someone who looks at you the way my brother looks at potatoes.
  • Beyond the mountains, more mountains.
  • Five-second fuses only last three seconds.
  • No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.
  • Noone knows what's going on in someone else's mind, and life would be intolerable if we did.
  • A synonym is what you use when you can't spell the other word.
  • Don't send nudes of yourself to Pizza Hut when high on the pain medication (as I have done).
  • Nothing says 'Fuck off my lawn' like two banned weapons strapped to each other.
  • The Crab Cycle. There's a frankly unreasonable number of steps, and they're all crab.
  • My high fiber life means they call me the poocannon.
  • Unleash the breasts of war.
  • You have wasted several seconds of your time by reading this sentence.
  • Knocks off only the loosest of socks.
  • Good things come in pairs, like boobs, and attentive homosexuals.
  • The people who routinely spam the IRC channel of a dead comedy wiki literally have mental problems.
  • The Onion told us and we didn't listen.
  • Being in a coma was just as fuckin' stupid as I wrote it was.
  • You are the revolver dirt boner, be happy.
  • I have studied law as well. It has made me distrustful of language.
  • It's basic manners to clean after yourself what is wrong with people.
  • We stand for righteous evil, not evil evil!
  • If there is a God, he will have to beg my forgiveness.
  • Why can't they see people who like something different from them as people?
  • Self care is just going the hell to bed.
  • No longer going to pursue a career! I'd like to be a rock. Thanks.
  • Any time people's basic needs are met, violence goes down - that's not new.
  • By Allah, you people are dogs. I will go on as usual.
  • You know you're in a bad part of town when cheese slices are in security boxes.
  • I'm confused. You say abandoned things all wind up here, but why do they become so frightening?
  • But I want to give all the dead flowers. I want to remember all of them.
  • You should see our fleet, it's camouflaged to look like a flock of Easter eggs going out to sea.
  • I have indeed thought about it, and think your concerns are stupid.
  • Exception encountered, of type "Error"
  • She paints her face to hide her face.
  • Destroy common sense and you're in paradise.
  • The things he has had to endure... a man with more sense would have lost his mind.
  • Never say anything to a penguin that the penguin has not already said to you.
  • We just like the guy, so we stole him.
  • Satin is like a treadmill for snakes.
  • Unlike the earth, mars has been observed to be round.
  • People said the world ending in 2012 was fake but has anyone felt alive since then?
  • It's sly. And let me tell you, sly is hard to sell.
  • Dammit all, I've got a bra of indefinite cats on!
  • Are you a cube or its greebled version?
  • Torture. You are chained in the flow of an active volcano. Why did I start this list?
  • Flattery is the most sincere form of theft.
  • It's not necrophilia if he was alive when the sex started.
  • Once the bug is in its mouth the frog uses its eyeballs to push the bug down.
  • Hi! You have great eyes, I can't seem to get rid of them.
  • Does the abyss cringe at itself when it realizes people are gazing into it?
  • Seems to be the solution, segregation, the only way to end racism.
  • All gave some. Some gave all.
  • We don't play god; play is for children.
  • It's not an alternative fact if you believe it.
  • NEVER trust an adult who won't apologize to a child.
  • Do not disturb. Tiny grass is dreaming.
  • Snails can cringe so hard their entire face disappears.
  • The difference between education and brainwashing is paper-thin.
  • Spring has returned. The earth is like a child that knows poems.
  • an entire city got wiped off the map and things smell vaguely of calimari idk man
  • There's only one truth about war. People die.
  • Alligators can climb fences. They do this a lot.
  • I AM NOT REASONABLE AND I HAVE A LOT OF CAT PUKE.
  • I don't understand the plan, but if it includes C4, I'm in.
  • People have a proclivity, when given sensible orders, to follow them.
  • People look so different once you don't care about them anymore.
  • There are no atheists when the toilet water is rising.
  • A lock that is picked open must be picked closed.
  • Know that when you stare into the boob window the boob window stares also back.
  • Without justice, courage is weak.
  • Suomi mainittu, torilla tavataan!
  • As it turns out, being protected by a long stick isn't the flawless solution to danger.
  • They're willing to pay 100€ so that their neighbor can't have 50€.
  • Someone claiming you're defensive is a pretty hard claim to refute.
  • It still counts as stealth if no one lives to tell about it.
  • Impromptu dissection was performed under less-than-optimal lighting conditions.
  • The neo-puritans can't enjoy anything. It's like... illegal for them.
  • Are we sure he was ever here? Was he maybe just a shared fever dream.
  • The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.
  • People think it's disrespectful when you don't let them disrespect you.
  • Prison for profit is one of the most evil concepts to come out of humanity.
  • Does 'increasing the risk of nuclear war' violate the Twitter terms of service?
  • In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch.
  • Well right now the policy is that we sort of accept that no one follows the policy.
  • The real truth, however painful, is always calm.
  • Anything can be a UFO if you're bad enough at identifying things.
  • I have a mouth and I can scream.
  • Sometimes we mistake necessity for bravery. It wasn't a brave act, it was only necessary.
  • I get it. It's art. But even for art, why hurt yourself so?
  • A dying man does not lie.
  • They've perfected uselessness to the point of being unstoppable.
  • A person gets a look in their eyes when time's running out.
  • Nothing is permanent, but nothing is temporary either (in code).
  • We're not in a prophecy. We're in a stolen Toyota Corola.
  • Making mistakes isn't weak. Refusing to admit to or fix them is.
  • Let that be a lesson in parenting. Tell a kid he can't have a rifle and he grows up to be a sniper.
  • The man is a one-man menace to society.
  • YOU'RE ALL THE DUMBEST SMART PEOPLE I KNOW.
  • You can't judge people by what they think or say... only by what they do.
  • Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.
  • Oh, you would make a fascinating father creature.
  • Light is but a farewell gift from the darkness to those on their way to die.
  • What else are stories but dreams we live, put down to word and page for others to live too?
  • What kind of murderer goes back to save a fish?
  • Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. But nor is it inherently insignificant.
  • This information is stored in many places, but yet, also nowhere at the same time.
  • It's like how you break a cat by placing a lizard next to it. That sense of breaking a person.
  • We were expecting to find something to... fix, I guess? But the enemy was Status Quo. Also robots.
  • I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.
  • Deliberate complexity is the mark of an amateur. Elegant simplicity is the mark of a master.
  • If we hit things hard enough, plot will fall out.
  • They are rage, brutal, without mercy. But you. You will be worse. Rip and tear, until it is done.
  • Rip and tear.
  • Don't be afraid to tell your story. You are not alone.
  • I just wanted him to be wrong. So he'd... be wrong.
  • Raising the dead is not a healthy coping mechanism.
  • In a world where every day is a struggle for survival, you need all the gods you can get.
  • Sorry Pelor. I like you but not enough to draw your damn mask in every single goddamn panel.
  • The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you.
  • Don't be afraid. Have the courage to fail.
  • Hi there. Your changes are live in goatland. Please test.
  • We all have altars we sacrifice to, no matter the names of our gods.
  • Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes!
  • Paladins don't go by a code of 'nope'.
  • Chivalry isn't dead, you just don't know what the fuck it is.
  • No one has a normal life. There is only your life.
  • The boat trip wasn't that bad, but then they had to untie the mooring ropes.
  • All art is compromised, and yet made whole, the moment it comes into contact with an audience.
  • We worship the great Sea Cucumber, who expunged the world from his rectum.
  • Socialism always works at the beginning.
  • Language is a labyrinth, a hall of mirrors that we can easily get lost in.
  • Both past and future are contained in the eternal present.
  • The moon shows us the truth. Even in shadow the light is reflected.
  • I think education is process of becoming adult, so concepts should be adult, not forever childish.
  • Let me fall if I must. The one I will become will catch me.
  • This has been reposted so many times it looks like the average npm package.
  • You've heard every last tale of the wolf by now. None of them are true. You are the wolf.
  • Yes, it's just is. Try it.
  • I basically stay up late because I am trying to delay tomorrow.
  • Whoever saves one life saves the world entire.
  • An individual's interest in avoiding erroneous deprivation of his life is 'uniquely compelling'.
  • I believe wikitech is looking for mysql in the wrong place.
  • It was insane and horrible, so we try not to talk about it.
  • How... do you add porn to a farming sim?!
  • Automation also gets cheaper over time. People get more expensive over time.
  • Small talk is not polite. It's downright rude.
  • When correctly viewed everything is lewd.
  • Come on, man. I'm the only one who gets to have voices in their head. This is reality, remember?
  • Give me some credit. When have I ever not been a sociopathic lunatic?
  • If you could hold a moment, would you hold it forever?
  • Why don't we just kill him? Am I crazy, or are we passing up a perfectly good meal?
  • If your perverted mind wasn't in the gutter, it'd be homeless.
  • Masks face right.
  • If they'd taken Tylenol first, though, the David Lynch-induced anxiety was apparently blunted.
  • What is most beautiful is least acknowledged. What is worth dying for is barely noticed.
  • Un-winged and naked, sorrow surrenders its crown to a throne called grace.
  • I'm an elf man-o'-war in a sea of tugboats.
  • Don't ever do that to a dog. Forgetting that dog is not cat is harmful to dog.
  • What do others try to take from you? This is what you need to protect.
  • Justice without mercy isn't justice at all.
  • Extremism in the name of God is never a sin.
  • It is my duty to express my freedom by enjoying tiddies.
  • I swing both ways. Violently. With a bat. Come get some, motherfuckers.
  • You can still be thug as hell even if you cry everyday, right.
  • You all have permission to come to my funeral and give wildly conflicting accounts of my life.
  • FREE BUCKETS.
  • That which is knowingly consented to by all involved, is just.
  • Strength is so many things. It takes strength to pretend a strength you don't feel.
  • When you look like me you learn not to piss off orders of holy knights.
  • Il bene non regna, il male non dura.
  • Scavengers won't eat dead meth users.
  • I used up all my sick days so I called in dead.
  • I can be fair to one side but not the other.
  • Sir, we all have cats we'd rather be home playing with right now.
  • Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.
  • Bones? Where we're going, we don't need bones.
  • We live in a society.
  • In fairness, if I were a parent I'd outlaw my children getting themselves kidnapped too.
  • If you're waiting for me to take a hint, it won't work. Consider the following: I'm a dumbass.
  • The only way one of my stories could ever end is with a beginning.
  • I'm not mad! The man in the shadows is making me this way. He brings the darkness - it's coming!
  • I'm sure that subjectively, time probably DOES stop when you're spaghetti.
  • Your very soul is torn apart by having all of time pass it by in a instant.
  • Please peel your sheeps.
  • Saying 'sorry' is not an admissions of guilt.
  • Some struggles are so solitary that they drown in words.
  • You shouldn't be allowed to travel without a yurt.
  • The only grandchild my parents are getting from me is a puppy.
  • How much sawdust can you put in a rice crispy treat before people notice?
  • PLEASE DO NOT BAN MY WEASEL FROM HELL.
  • Reporters just keep _splainingsplaining and it offends me deeply.
  • There is a voice that does not use words. Listen.
  • New Yorkers bite 10 times more people than sharks do.
  • Sometimes this village seems more like a group of hermits than a true community.
  • They don't want you to collude. Screw 'em. Collude.
  • Happy mailing list reminder day.
  • An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them.
  • In death, all are equal, judged only by the weight of their sins and their circumstances.
  • At what point does a mistake become language drift?
  • Let the dead bury the dead.
  • Beware the swordsman who carries no blade.
  • We're all doomed to repeat our mistakes. So why even worry about it?
  • What idiot called it 'YAML Parser Error' and not 'A Series of Unfortunate Indents'?
  • Every metal absorbs fish, man.
  • Here is Denmark, excreted from limestone. There is Sweden, chiselled from granite. Danish scum!
  • The worst technical documentation ever made is basically any documentation for a latex package.
  • Art made for political reasons has a name. It's called 'propaganda'.
  • Get rid of secret rules.
  • Having things totally separate means harder to enforce quality controls.
  • The tool for generating specs is called Bikeshed.
  • If porn is bad, why are there so many nuns in it?
  • It's not a pimple if you can see out of it.
  • If you are reading this, you can read.
  • Jack is made of apple sauce now.
  • That's how it works. If you can fly a bee, you can fly a plane.
  • I've said some damn illogical things and this the most illogical thing I've ever said.
  • The southwestern railway trains warble.
  • Your calculations can't be off if you don't do any.
  • It's an export. We sell it because we don't use it.
  • I'm a monster! I'm an adorable cat monster!
  • The murderers believed I was innocent. They understood I wasn't like them.
  • The laws are fair. They just weren't applied here.
  • Everything happens so much.
  • The best predictor of future violence is past violence.
  • Much of what had been accepted for decades as fire science was assumption. "Witchcraft, really."
  • I wish these kids had the concept of a sentence.
  • I see, said the blind man to his deaf wife as he peed into the wind.
  • I see, said the mute man as he picked up his hammer and saw.
  • Is life a game or a play? Death certainly is a play, but even in games you play...
  • At least in the first one they had their brain inside their skull.
  • Subject it to as much opposing evidence and logic as possible.
  • If you try hard enough, you will get the answers you seek.
  • Money comes to money.
  • Documentation is a love letter that you write to your future self.
  • Some people basically think of everyone they don't know as the same person.
  • I have never been okay and I'm not about to start now.
  • Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.
  • Everything here is oddly specific.
  • The longer you are in industry, I would argue the less likely you may be to pass a coding test.
  • The correct approach to any situation is, by amazing coincidence, the only approach you know.
  • Code is the enemy. The less code, the better.
  • Llamas aren't a labour resource. Llamas are labourors too.
  • MediaWiki has so many things that are not actual issues but mildly wrong.
  • Enjoy this moment. Like all victories, it shall fade.
  • Everyone involved canonically has the mental acuity of a bowl of porridge, so just go with it!
  • 'Everything' implies infinity, and infinity is not constructive.
  • What is the name of rain?
  • One arrow has many uses, but many arrows together are unbreakable.
  • You can't get there from here.
  • There are three kinds of people in the universe: those who can count, and those who can't.
  • Riddles? If I wanted to confuse you, dear one, oh, how I could.
  • Programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty text file.
  • Wait why is the cat radioactive in the first place?
  • Nah man. I just run around doing whatever I want. It's sheer luck that it has worked so far.
  • One poke in the eye is worth two in the rib.
  • Turn left at the canyon!
  • We don't know what it's for but we make a bunch of it because it sounds super dangerous.
  • This empathy thing, what's in it for me?
  • Qua.
  • We're all just a genetics lab accident away from cackling in the rooftops like nature intended.
  • All trees are screaming. You just can't hear them.
  • I'm useless in a bag.
  • I've never suffered so much to get a library card.
  • Grape soda doesn't even taste like grapes but it sure as hell taste like purple.
  • Man... I need to talk to Names more. My ego demands that I be on this list.
  • Steve, I can't have you driving down the road in a skyjack drinking beer.
  • My awful god splits me open the way gods do. They know no better.
  • In most cases hurt washes out over time, but disappointment can stain permanently.
  • Here's to silver-tongued men with eyes that have seen it all too many times.
  • All people are driven to the point of eating their gods, after a time.
  • Antivandalism tech that bans randoms with no logging seems pretty problematic.
  • Those are words all right.
  • The similarity between asses and assess is disturbing. Arse, on the other hand, much clearer.
  • Fuck you, PHP. Fuck you in the ear!
  • It's amazing to see how much technology can move forward if you're not paying attention.
  • It's amazing how quickly time passes when you're not paying attention.
  • If you're ever feeling blue, get a picture taken of your skeleton. Who wants to see my skeleton???
  • You're a wizard. You have the intelligence required to be a switchboard.
  • Pretty bold of you to assume that I have a brain!
  • It's good enough for folk music.
  • Professionals have standards. Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
  • For broken dreams, the cure is to dream again, and dream deeper.
  • The question is, do we define it as wood, or do we define it as flour?
  • A well-designed world could tell its story in silence.
  • I killed my will by analysing it.
  • Anything can happen in life, especially nothing.
  • There are no rules just madmen with welders.
  • Yes, entertain us with your disdain.
  • I'm not silent because I have nothing to say. I'm silent because nobody is listening.
  • I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
  • But that's just it, that's the only thing that makes me feel human. The way I'm treated.
  • So often we betray ourselves especially.
  • The transcriptions from inside your corpses are upsetting him.
  • You, too, can use coconut rum to get red jello shot out of your nice white dress.
  • Blowing my nose feels like the smell of paint drying.
  • They're talking about babies they believe will die eventually after being born.
  • If there is room for corruption there will be corruption.
  • The sky is full of spiders.
  • Microwaving leftovers is probably the most accepted form of necromancy. Let's be real.
  • The modern world will not be punished. It is the punishment.
  • Cats, like people, don't generally do things.
  • You have a very off-putting way of putting people, you know, off.
  • Am I still flanking from inside the frog?
  • Looks too much like clothes to be Guo Pei.
  • One moment of weakness does not define one's character.
  • You will never have to do today again.
  • Hold onto your sanity. It's already begun to slip.
  • If it were really fate, it wouldn't need your help.
  • I don't know why we have an eldritch nightmare bot but I gotta say I'm pretty happy that we do.
  • We are slaves to the gods. Whatever gods are.
  • Allah is doing.
  • Coworkers are not doing. Allah is doing.
  • Your blood is weeds!
  • Sometimes you need a little wishful thinking just to keep on living.
  • Man has always feared the darkness, carving it away with fire.
  • The only miracles of any value are the ones you work.
  • Experiments have since borne out that reality is, in fact, nonsensical.
  • Sometimes it's the dead who leave flowers by the graves of the living.
  • Yes sir. Thank you sir.
  • If she wanted to live she shouldn't have deceived me in the first place. I'm evil!
  • You can probably develop new applications for your Internet connected goats by coding in Goat C.
  • Well Pine agrees with me. Maybe I should reconsider my view.
  • The bear has two mouths.
  • The weight upon your chest is not a burden; it is a mission.
  • You can't control a rodeo, but you can try to make it meet the fire code.
  • Money is the dark food that I trade to the Post Creature to get more books.
  • As long as I remember, it's not gone. Not for me.
  • Who are you? You swap masks so readily, perspective to perspective.
  • You can't just pretend you're not you.
  • It's symbolic of life in general that we take something so wonderful as food and turn it into shit.
  • If it were easy as telling people just not to be an asshole we would have far fewer assholes.
  • I'm not good with names. I call them all 'honey'.
  • You want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.
  • It's like it had a bigger budget. Or... a budget!
  • I googled the org chart for my new employer. A page exists. It is blank.
  • People are biased. AIs are just biased really, really quickly.
  • It doesn't play nicely with the semantic web, or really any web.
  • I feel threatened with your threats of making threats.
  • Can you truly arrive somewhere? Don't you always leave small parts of yourself behind?
  • Sleep is god. Go worship.
  • This toaster is now toast.
  • Sometimes when I'm alone, I like to super glue my thumbs to my nipples and pretend I'm a T-rex.
  • Nobody is as dumb as I appear to be.
  • It's all right. Everyone's got to eat shaving cream once in awhile.
  • IBM is acquiring Red Hat. This is an Oracle-buys-Sun level extinction event.
  • I wish I could forgive you for not knowing how math works, but some things are truly unpardonable.
  • That which lives so long sometimes fears to die.
  • Every creature is dogs.
  • And what have the faithful to fear?
  • Norwegian claymation sex is the most terrifying thing I have ever seen.
  • ...I am talking about evil. It blooms. It eats. It grins.
  • I'm going to defeat you with the power of friendship and this gun I found.
  • WHERE CAN I KEEP A HORSE IN MY APARTMENT?
  • You expect me to fucking read on my day off?
  • Knowledge counters fear. It always has.
  • Touch all the memory to make sure it's there.
  • Kittens are supposed to lose things, not find them.
  • A good writer understands what it is to be human. The hangups. The hiccups. It is sobering.
  • Once you've eaten 400 foxes,you legally qualify as 'obsessed' with them, yes.
  • I woke up today and realized that I was awake.
  • Oh, how can I say no to that screech. I sure do!
  • I hate it because I know it'll go away.
  • Faith is madness. But you go mad without it.
  • The right to protest. It's as American as apple pie and bitching about taxes.
  • All dreams end. All worlds, all lives. And in the end is only silence.
  • Remember uggs? This is what they look like now. Feel old yet?
  • It was a Christmas as unique as any other, for every year the mystery unfolds itself anew.
  • We are so lazy that we have a bot that activates another bot.
  • If you want some more pointers, 0xfeedbeef 0x53444204 and 0xfdbc77f0.
  • Consequences are what happen to people who fail, and we didn't fail.
  • Beware the future. It is not to be trusted.
  • My mouse is full of sand and there was a pin in my leg. This is too stupid to be a dream.
  • Our society promotes the mentally unstable if they entertain us.
  • I'd probably regret looking up 'the butler dimension'.
  • All I have to go on here is what is. And I don't know what that is.
  • Modern is the hill I will die on. It's blue and pretty and compact and doesn't get in the way.
  • The state cannot give love. But money gives space to love.
  • I forgot to add the joke part to my joke.
  • The gods have no mercy. That's why they're gods.
  • I hate titles. They always come with expectations and responsibility.
  • Did you upgrade your vulnerable apt using apt yet?
  • Tongues. Tongues. Slither in the mud.
  • Voting and Drama are the pillars the community was built on.
  • Magic doesn't fix anything. That's what the person using it is for.
  • One can only have as much preparation as he has foresight.
  • Even in winter, the cold isn't always bitter, and not every day is cruel.
  • I feel like Frezak's reaction to the game is going to entertain me more than the game itself.
  • I'm honestly getting more amusement out of Frezak than trying a game.
  • You sell out now, when you have your own team, you do whatever you want.
  • I kind of... lose interest in my addictions after awhile...
  • You can't outrun me! I'm wearing tube socks!
  • Can you hear the music in my head? I don't care! Dance! Dance for me!
  • The only cure for madness is madness.
  • Welcome to our dream.
  • You can't get milk out of a talent show.
  • Hey! I'm on a cloud of frogs! Moo!
  • Forever Hitler. You have to be all Hitler, all the time.
  • Diplomacy is inherently belligerent.
  • If you don't wish to be dead for the rest of your life, do as I say.
  • Apparently the CIA makes constructive edits.
  • Rules are for following. That's why they're called rules and not cabbages.
  • The only thing to do, in light of extreme wrong, is to try to right it.
  • Do your thing, thing!
  • You can't resurrect me without my consent!
  • Dead people don't have rights.
  • Twitter is important for journalists; Instagram is important for narcissists.
  • If it was up to me fun would be banned.
  • Flowers for you! Flowers for you, flowers for you! All flowers have been deployed.
  • Yle, the Buzzfeed of Finland. Both are shit but at least we get to pay for this.
  • Hey, I resent that. We have an actual firewall... I think!
  • It's better than a weapon. It's a toy.
  • I didn't have a bandaid, so I superglued some plumbing tape to my finger instead.
  • Only from the need born from the truest torment is the need born for me.
  • Dude, don't even bother. That's a swallow. They're almost as dumb as fish.
  • Hey, nice shot. I'm honestly surprised you didn't kill someone.
  • Oh, I'm so sorry, I forgot that dog training included reading the Kalevala out loud.
  • I don't like having enemies. They annoy me.
  • I know how to handle these kinds of situations. With lies. Lies are good.
  • I sincerely hope that the cells have been proofed against bears in dresses.
  • Anything can be a symbol, if backed by faith and meaning.
  • Here's your receipt, you can track the status of your potato online.
  • I do not think most people would appreciate being mailed a live scorpion.
  • Let's see those spambots get past these hooks! OKAY WTF THAT WASN'T A CHALLENGE DAMMIT.
  • USPS is having trouble with my potato. It was supposed to arrive yesterday, but now it's 'delayed'.
  • I'm fairly sure USPS lost my potato.
  • You are such a cat, cat.
  • I carve my name into a fish and throw it on the ground. If it is wound-side up I am guilty.
  • I diplomacy him.
  • It happens. But, you know, to you.
  • Anything you read once is a lie. Anything you read twice is true.
  • I first found something strange was afoot when I yawned and a thousand bees flew out.
  • I'll take the lime flavour with lime.
  • The potato arrived.
  • To document is to observe.
  • ...and pv sits there happily in the middle shouting "21MiB transfer speed! 500GiB transferred!"
  • Whatever happens is the only thing that could have happened.
  • Sharing a similar degree of dysfunction doesn't make you more closely related.
  • If you don't know why you might want to do this, you should probably not do it.
  • Someone needs to keep the wikinewsies inline. pt-kill is the hero we need!
  • I don't know anything from mediawiki. I'm just a lowly stick-poker. I poke things with sticks.
  • I am altering the source code. Pray that I don't alter it any further.
  • If they get a day of jail time, I will make a hat entirely out of licorice. And then eat it.
  • Their I.Q. seems to be about fish, give or take trout.
  • To the end.
  • If the gods were less insecure they'd let us be better. Say nice things about gods.
  • The lack of quality content has made me watch six series of this show.
  • With the future of Gerrit comes a bright future.
  • Nobody likes to touch eyeballs, not even ravenous Things.
  • Being a Catholic sure is an adventure these days.
  • He's called 'Otto the Tits'. I feel like we foreshadowed he's not a criminal mastermind.
  • That's what death is. Forgetting.
  • I think you should know I am this close to just headbutting you across the table.
  • I have heard it is good news. Two hundred year embargo. At least hopefully.
  • Murder is cool, but FAKE MURDER? NAY, SIR! I AM SO ANGRY I CAN BARELY PUNCTUATE.
  • I had planned to go to the gym tonight but it's 9:26pm. I think I'll eat ice cream instead.
  • I would say that's that, mattress man.
  • Don't tell me how to be.
  • You can't play god without being acquainted with the devil.
  • Time undoes even the mightiest of creatures. Just look what it's done to you.
  • That which is real is irreplaceable.
  • I wouldn't call it 'lying' so much as 'a strategic misrepresentation of the truth'.
  • Voiko vitutukseen kuolla?
  • Beets are truly the best fruit.
  • Why are you like this?
  • It won't give me my gloom!
  • I'll wipe your brains so clean you'll be able to eat off of them!
  • Don't fight a cat. Use your brain. Use drugs.
  • If I could be any kind of flower, I'd be a potato.
  • It wasn't restful. Because, you know, that's really important to people, apparently.
  • We seem to have identified a lot of not-good options so far. Are there any good options?
  • Thinking that life is good is better than not living at all.
  • Being legally forbidden to do math is extremely weird.
  • I can't tell if you're making a joke, or you're just French.
  • How many times can we run this through the mw parser before it becomes self-aware?
  • No i18n for this error message, since it should never happen.
  • There is really an excess of disembodied children floating behind the singers this year.
  • Who are you, who am I and what do you want?
  • Shut up, I'm sexing you.
  • You ever try to herd a happy cat? It's like kicking a concrete block! Except it's furry!
  • I consider anything slimmer than my big Toughbook sleek. Including my smaller Toughbook!
  • The KGB baffle me.
  • This apple juice is angry and tastes of failed plastic.
  • Really, being nice is the easiest way of manipulating people.
  • Dutch cannot be taught. It must be felt. It's not a language, it is a state of mind.
  • Life is brief, but not compared to these pants.
  • Best thing you can do is teach your kids not to be afraid.
  • The pigeons were Concerned.
  • The weather is sad.
  • The word is remarkably impaired.
  • If dinosaurs were dead then how did people ride them?
  • It appears to work as well as anything works in CologneBlue.
  • A hero is strong. A hero is invulnerable. A hero has a goddamn spleen.
  • We do not fight! We are just very loud!
  • Yeah, you don't want to spend all your money before the mass suicide. That would just be wasteful.
  • Anyone want a drink? I need one.
  • Reality is found in unknown places. Dreams are found within reality.
  • Time heals, right? But never enough.
  • And this is how I broke polls with UploadWizard.
  • Exotic looking orange bird turns out to be seagull covered in curry.
  • Do you taste metal?
  • I feel like the bear was extremely reasonable for a bear.
  • We need to wait for south to do our mushroom magic. Because we're mushrooms.
  • I recommend it if you enjoy listening to neurotic pedants being neurotic pedants.
  • Tech debt is generally 'this seemed like a good idea at the time'.
  • 99% of my bandwith goes to torrenting linux distros.
  • Using TCP, we can create a VPN to create a virtual corporation
  • You're so insane that sometimes it's mistaken for wisdom.
  • Normally language is a tool of communication. Why must you always use it as a tool of obfuscation?
  • Like... WHY WOULD YOU HAVE EGGS IN YOUR LIVING ROOM TO BEGIN WITH?!
  • How often, I wonder, do I dream, and how often do I rather dream of dreaming?
  • Well, uuuh, are bad miracles a thing? 'Cause if they are, I'm certainly an expert on those!
  • Beauty fades, but dumb is forever.
  • That's the beauty about improv. You never know what's going to come out of your mouth.
  • Their solution to 'nobody understands the parameters for this command' is to add another parameter.
  • Two tigers take turns tasting tapioca.
  • Teenagers are more sarcastic. That all happens later.
  • Gods! I don't want a moonbase!
  • The more I see, the more it all comes together. The more I understand.
  • You're a sucker if you're walking around China without TP on you anyway.
  • Funerals are big business, and people are dying to get in.
  • Progress was made.
  • Welcome to people! Where everything is made up and the naming convention doesn't matter.
  • Oh, your pilot's gone missing, but a guy that's going on your flight is going to fly the plane.
  • I'm a scientist. I don't believe in anything.
  • I'm sorry, did you just ask me why a crazy person crazies?
  • If Security told you to go jump off a cliff, would you do that?
  • Do you recognise the triple helix? If you do, write it down.
  • That's the neat thing about absolute power. Once you've had it, you don't need it.
  • He's a diligent guard, except for the part where he pays no attention.
  • It's not a good sign when things go faster without the person being involved.
  • I gotta loot this city before it expires.
  • Where do we start with the strange requests?
  • The first sign is mistaking fact for fiction. Everything's a lie. Don't believe the truth.
  • I would like to hear ideas so that I can steal them.
  • Depending on the zip code, Florida can be like visiting another planet...
  • People use alcohol as an excuse to do things that should have been done years ago.
  • Is Einstein an element? I thought he was a professor who invented the universe or something.
  • Human grows more every year, I guess I'll have a king-size spinal cord in the future.
  • There's so much diversity in racism.
  • I love that only real men will moisturize.
  • Cats are butts. Loveable butts, but butts nonetheless.
  • Mental disorders don't excuse bad behavior, only help explain it.
  • It has elements of wrestling in it, where you just have to sit on people.
  • You're chiding a person for having a difficult time with a difficult time.
  • I am in florida and the air is partially edible and I don't care.
  • Nobody's perfect. Love makes us that way.
  • A joke is only funny if everyone is laughing.
  • You can learn a lot in a small dark room. Don't let anyone tell you different.
  • I think all the lawyers have massive hangovers.
  • Even if you're dead you want to be found.
  • It's tough to outrun a fork.
  • That oath is dope. It's great.
  • Your Aussie-ness was obvious by your use of the words 'shit box'.
  • A dumb clock is still right some of the time.
  • Stop clawing at the walls.
  • Stop clawing the walls.
  • You can't squeeze cheese from a goat before it's hatched.
  • If at the first meeting someone is dressed as a chicken, don't go back.
  • Just take the per diem. They question nothing.
  • Bud, I'm just trying not to fuck up social situations. I don't have opinions on you.
  • When all you know is MediaWiki, everything's a wiki.
  • It's a shame a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs.
  • Les fromages a mange mon amis.
  • // 'not' is the notifications module.
  • It's impossible to know how many bugs Lyrithya has created because we haven't found them all yet.
  • And thanks to the users, without whom this would serve no purpose.
  • All you can do is dream. So dream.
  • I'm drug free now. Haven't done any coke for 2 days.
  • Yup, that's weird, but I don't hate it.
  • The days are long but the years are short.
  • To keep your feet on ground, we place burdens upon your shoulders.
  • I heard you like packages. Let's package components on a per-function level.
  • I've smelled the bathroom on the right once. I became not a fortunate son.
  • I do not have pronouns. Please do not refer to me.
  • I have to wade through so much silliness to get to the silliness I need.
  • Always have a rectangle of plastic to clutch.
  • We have miles to go before we sleep.
  • I followed being depressed by just being somewhat less depressed.
  • Suicide is never the answer. You gotta outlive your enemies.
  • You are unlikely to ever find someone as bad as I am at using a C-clamp.
  • What is god talk man thing?
  • Do I have an enormous arsehole?
  • Need a help. I death. Please.
  • Unless crazy cat lady can produce Bastard's parents' marriage certificate, the name is factual.
  • Don't give me a funeral, just toss me into a dumpster and give me back to the rats.
  • It's such a quiet thing, to fall.
  • Live together before marriage or deal with marrying a potentially terrible housemate.
  • They say they don't bluff, but that's just part of the bluff.
  • Forgot to add, I already have 58 trees I bought a year ago.
  • Those are some lovely shapes you just said.
  • You do not deserve to feel one iota better for making an apology that was insincere.
  • Dude come on. You can't just drop 'naked house farter' in a thread and then leave.
  • I'm a slug, and as we all know, slugs are basically giant tongue feet, so yeah.
  • Solidity is a cow.
  • Just because you can't help everyone doesn't mean you can't help someone.
  • Cilantro cavern, baby? I am all over that shit.
  • Only half of programming is coding. The other 90% is debugging.
  • Why you sell the pork?!
  • Being a man means nothing inherently other than the person being a man.
  • Do you even enjoy food or is it just a hot sauce delivery method?
  • If I were you, I wouldn't do that. He might want to revenge.
  • You can control your actions but you can't control the consequences of your actions. Nobody can.
  • I think Zuckerberg only wears suits when he's being yelled at by Congress.
  • Do you want ants? This is how you get ants.
  • Behold the deer of blame.
  • The Deer of Blame wrinkles its moist snout of accusation.
  • Everyone is special.
  • Don't ask who is at the bottom of the well. And do not ask its name.
  • DO NOT SEEK THE NAME OF MR.EATEN.
  • I think I may have made a semi-permanent friend I don't want to be friends with.
  • I can't be the first one to do this. To go delving into a giant melon.
  • Maybe it's not even really her. Maybe it's just a giant lobster in a freaky human suit!
  • Our origins don't define us. It's what we do with what we have.
  • I wish I could describe any concert I've been to as 400% hype.
  • Nobody's perfect. What kind of imperfect are you okay with?
  • Since it is impossible to prepare for everything, it is better to never prepare for anything.
  • ...how high is Clint? But sincerely, where the fuck am I?
  • Your experience seems worse than usual.
  • I am not afraid, and when I am frightened, I shall master the fear.
  • It's about control. If you can remove someone's soul, you can do anything.
  • I don't want it to be good for me, I want to retire and raise goats.
  • One crime at a time.
  • The time you walk into Home Depot and think, 'Ooh, KNOBS!' that's it. Your childhood is over.
  • If I cut you off, it's because you handed me the scissors.
  • With every question, you become more like the answer.
  • With every answer I become more like the question.
  • It's just... so many stupids, layered, like an idiot onion.
  • He listens to noone but the gods. Men who take their orders from the gods are unpredictable.
  • Orcs were big. 4/5
  • You know it's a quality creation myth when it involves a cow licking gods into existence.
  • I heat my tea with the blood of the earth!
  • Oracle stands for One Real Asshole Called Larry Ellison.
  • Sometimes for people to make the right choice, you must first show them the worst choice.
  • The numbers show you what is. Stories show you what that means.
  • Why do people keep commenting about my roommate frenching my cat?
  • It's like singing. Every voice counts.
  • No one is undeserving of a prayer.
  • You can trust someone and still feel uncomfortable testing that trust.
  • I find two opinions are always better than one, particularly if one of them is mine.
  • It's easier to fool someone than to convince them that they have been fooled.
  • This guy sounds like the guy you hear about in math problems.
  • How the hell do you fold underwear?
  • The Firefox browser collects so little data about you, we don't even require your email address.
  • The Firefox browser collects so much data about you, we don't even require your email address.
  • The whole town was on fire before you even reached the bridge.
  • Hell yeah it's your face, and we love it!
  • I can't disagree with you. Your dumb ideas tend to be amazingly fun.
  • If I wanted it done wrong, I would've done it myself!
  • If you want people to be sad when you die, live a good life.
  • mUtAbLe oBjEcTs wErE A MiStAkE
  • Don't train alone. It only embeds your errors.
  • Frankly I'm not sure why I'm doing this either, but guess it's just somehow... amusing.
  • I'm the kind of tired that sleep won't fix.
  • Most folklore is good. They tend not to keep the rubbish stories.
  • There's a family in our driveway.
  • What? There is not a family in our driveway.
  • Have you seen this black and white female pygmy goat with horns?
  • Usar palabras es difícil porque significan cosas.
  • If you can't boot the hackers can't get you.
  • Look at me, full of ideas for indicating mild surprise.
  • No, I'm fine. I hit my elbow on a durian.
  • Doubt is there to be listened to.
  • There are no prizes for obstinacy.
  • The corn meal has yet to coagulate. It ain't god.
  • Hello individuals.
  • We am not an individuals.
  • Would you get a tattoo of a butt tattooed on your butt?
  • Do you are have stupid?
  • Ah, the sweet flow of internet into my veins.
  • I think people do mature. Just check out your own forum comments from 2011 and feel the cringe.
  • Falling iguanas possible tonight.
  • Iguanas are just bigger bees.
  • The Lamb of the Ghent was a mistake, and whoever painted over it was right to do so.
  • Bury your fingers in eyeballs and they will look longer.
  • No means no, unless she's dyslexic. Then it means on.
  • Getting old kills people. Therefor it's murder.
  • Dark matter isn't squirrels.
  • As god is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.
  • Mathematics explain the aerodynamics of a cow.
  • The future is here and it's dumb.
  • 'Yet' is meaningless. It exists. It is.
  • I love when people compare apples to giraffes.
  • I need help with my butt.
  • The future isn't what it used to be.
  • Every decision for something is a decision against something else.
  • There is as much light out there as darkness. Don't forget that.
  • In the end life is just a collection of missed opportunities.
  • You can't go in here - this library is a public place! Come back when we're closed.
  • He's reciting the names of gods.
  • Oh look, another idiot going the wrong way.
  • The customer that bought 10$ in Starbucks at Starbucks please return to the Starbucks.
  • And there are all those things we should fear that we don't even know to be afraid of.
  • Still not the asshole for not wanting to die.
  • This asshole isn't just a clown, he's the whole circus.
  • You didn't cause a scene. She did. You just finished it.
  • You can't 'sarcastically' say something if I can't sarcastically agree with you.
  • Blood is thicker than water.
  • The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.
  • Whatever the saying is, it's just a saying. If it doesn't apply to you, ignore it.
  • You had THIRTY-FIVE CATS, how are you going to avoid recycling at least one of those names?
  • Arrange these words into a declarative sentence: 'Off' and 'Fuck'.
  • Your cat mistook the chair for a lizard and malfunctioned.
  • We follow custom and ritual because we have no map.
  • You willingly take on the death of a pet when you adopt them.
  • Don't let your gratitude get in the way of our long-term misunderstanding.
  • Ritual and circumstance are not easily broken.
  • We call that hleping. It looks like helping, but it isn't.
  • You have the right to be naked in your own home.
  • Sibelius crashed.
  • Anyone who says otherwise is diluted morally.
  • I told Customs I had nothing to declare but my annoyance.
  • And in conclusion I'm going to make you look at my cats. Because I can.
  • It's a place like every other place, it's not some weird pocket dimension.
  • There's a time for peace and a time for war.
  • Everyone has a story. The least we can do is make sure that it's told.
  • The past begins when I walk away.
  • It will end where it always ends. In silence.
  • Soupcan knows about soup. If they say it's food, it's food.
  • You don't know what you don't know.
  • Made me feel safer cause they were legit terrified of my giant mound of derp incarnate.
  • In your own words, 'Why is cat?'
  • Lasagne brings out the worst in people.
  • ANTS?! In MY vagina?! It's more likely than you think!
  • It wouldn't be called a salad if it wasn't healthy.
  • They can't find the body if you are the body.
  • I like spaghetti.
  • Now the thing to remember, boys: flies spread disease. So keep yours closed.
  • It's not polite to eat the dead.
  • I don't understand Groovy, so I won't +2 this, but it Lassoes Giant Turtle Mastheads.
  • Tundra.
  • Prohibition is the gateway drug.
  • I remember pirating it like 20 years ago. I doubt it's changed much since then.
  • It's not really a mirror world. It's more of a small room.
  • We judge others by their actions, ourselves by our motives. That's how its different.
  • You are blessed with free will.
  • There's more red flags here than in a Russian parade through Moscow.
  • Don't even know how I know this but I drink and I know things.
  • I will eat your neck veins. Your kneecaps and forehead will cave in.
  • Nothing warms your soul more than the flesh of another human being.
  • Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
  • The difference between insanity and belief lies only in the number of believers.
  • Nothing in this world is easy, except pissing in a shower.
  • I'm interested in plagiarism as an art form.
  • Nobody chooses me. I'm the hole where a choice should be.
  • The stillness hangs like anvils. The silence loiters, and skitters away on tiny feet.
  • 'It's cheap anyways' say the people not buying it.
  • I don't know otter guy. I've given books to his daughter.
  • The entire plot started with me finding a way to mechanically justify a lich-bunny.
  • This is not legal advice. In fact, legally, you should do the exact opposite of what I say.
  • Why do you have to be that person? You wasted a great opportunity to not be that person.
  • 10,000 nightmares in one pillow; who wants to shake that shit out in their own agitator?
  • Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis.
  • They sell like 5 versions of Cheerios, except actual Cheerios.
  • Is there a place on this earth that is closer to heaven than a dollar store?
  • It's not like there is no middle ground between stone-cold sober and dickless with no memory.
  • What is upwards, dog.
  • Not all heroes wear capes. Some just have several angle grinders.
  • Public transportation follows urinal rules.
  • I would like a muffin. Perhaps something made of cardboard.
  • The Iranian yogurt is not the issue here.
  • You made me catapult my cat off my chest with laughter.
  • Proper prior planning prevents piss-poor performance.
  • Cat is cat.
  • That's crazy. Time is a flat circle.
  • The cargo door is broken. Why do I ever allow myself to fly United?
  • What in the Kentucky Fried Fuck?
  • Listen here, you uneducated potato.
  • You can't steal someone else's customer or spouse. They go willingly.
  • Rapeseed. And the plant it comes from? Just rape. There are fields of rape all across the world.
  • Horrifying when you're in a field of rape and there's no yellow flowers.
  • How come 'asshole' is a bad word, but 'asphalt' isn't?
  • Some people love the brutality part more of brutal honesty.
  • It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility.
  • It has bones but is too dumb to even use them yet.
  • Alphabetical order is for peasants.
  • Sentient rug is feeling better and should be a living garbage disposal again soon.
  • Don't microwave fish.
  • Getting a blood sample from a cat could take anywhere from three minutes to several hours.
  • Out of 10 with 10 being oatmeal, how thicc do you guys think our corn is?
  • Aldi pizza tastes like divorce.
  • Look, I have a complex emotional range that includes a far greater level of 'eh' than most people.
  • I rarely feel empathy, but... you have evoked said emotion from its slumber.
  • I have confidence in Frezak's ability to put people down.
  • I love my mom. I also love omelette.
  • Sometimes your choice is the dumpster fire or the sewage pipe.
  • You didn't offend them. They got offended. In my opinion there's a difference.
  • We cannot move past it. There is no escape from that which is.
  • Death is a naked sword, and it is always there, sitting.
  • Cat hair where a cat should be.
  • Burn your bridges. Go forward.
  • I didn't want you to get any wrong ideas so we're both sleeping on the couch.
  • The future is in the past. Onward!
  • A responsible adult says NO to non-orientable shapes.
  • I am intentionally not escaping so much as redefining the terms of my capture.
  • Teachers don't have it that way. Without kids, we're worthless. And very lazy.
  • These are not words people say. This is not how speech happens.
  • It is traditional to burn someone who has been excommunicated. Traditional, like burning witches.
  • I can think of a lot of adjectives for code review. 'Exciting' is not at the top of my list.
  • Like the infinite horizon, it eludes my grasp.
  • My mind's been gone for 30 odd years! You can't break what's already broken.
  • I do know what tact is, but you don't know my mother.
  • Bring me all your celery.
  • I'm responsible. Price you pay for being successful.
  • I will apologize for the cat behind me who's screaming into my ear.
  • IT'S OK FOR THE DOCTOR TO PUT THINGS UP MY BUM BUT NO ONE ELSE.
  • But do you do this while dressing up as broccoli?
  • Welp, that's enough Internet for me today.
  • Honestly it needed to be clarified. There are things in this world that happen.
  • Not as weird as a coconut but damn odd.
  • There's also gibberish, unfinished sentences, single letters, and videos of our ceiling.
  • There's no creature on earth as wily as a farmer.
  • By protecting others, you save yourself.
  • Yes I love roads. I think about roads and highways 24/7. Have you ever been on a road?
  • I am so confused and so proud right now.
  • Ice cream is essential to our survival.
  • Our offerings to the gods are gifts from the eldritch!
  • Who cares what psychiatrists write on walls!
  • Contrary to what some people believe, horses aren't furniture.
  • C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog.
  • Within C++, there is a much smaller and cleaner language struggling to get out.
  • Why is it ok to ask someone to stop being happy because a bad thing happened to you?
  • I also have hemorrhoids and it's a part of me, but that doesn't mean I'm putting in on my resume.
  • Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
  • There's nothing more reassuring than realising that the world is crazier than you are.
  • Some of the simple things we just forget to say.
  • If you sign your soul away, that's giving consent, so it's not rape anymore.
  • A well-stocked basement is like a big time capsule.
  • We finally made it through the year of March. So we got that going for us...
  • Can someone tell me how anyone punches a cupcake?
  • I will now return to caressing my polished rocks.
  • Baby clothes, around 0-3 months size, work great on cats post-surgery.
  • It's like poetry, it rhymes.
  • It's comforting to know his head has always been this massive.
  • I had strings, but now I'm free.
  • A gift that comes with strings attached isn't a gift, it's an obligation. Unless it's a balloon.
  • Every move we make changes the future. The real feat would be changing the past.
  • Oh no, let me press F on the world's smallest keyboard!
  • I think 9/11 and Pearl Harbor were our 9/11 and Pearl Harbor.
  • Death comes for us all, it's all about timing and rate. But nobody wants to have that conversation!
  • My son did it too. I kept a small rake in his room and would just rake everything out once a week.
  • Sir, are you aware you are a cat?
  • At least my firewall doesn't get drunk and throw shit at me.
  • I'M DOING WHEELIES ON A BED OF PIRANHAS.
  • Everyone looks suspicious if you stare at them long enough.
  • Remember that in every difficult situation, you have two choices: get better or get bitter.
  • Casual item exchanges within your social circle don't come with a 6-month warranty.
  • Geese? I have zero geese. We are goose-free.
  • If you torture your data enough, it will do what you want it to do.
  • Lying with charts is way easier than lying in real life.
  • No-one could have figured out that an API sandbox would be called 'ApiSandbox'! Pure madness.
  • Roger roger.
  • The nail that sticks up gets hammered down.
  • I'd guess sounding like a rusty chainsaw warrants being elbowed in the kidney.
  • WHY DO ANY OF YOU THINK I'VE HAD TAPEWORMS BEFORE?
  • I assume my experiences are universal.
  • If you're going to be a rules lawyer, at least don't be blatantly wrong.
  • Red dragons are not buses.
  • I understand. I'm responsible now too. Just look at my groceries.
  • It's a strange moment when you realize that you don't want to be alive anymore.
  • It's time to go back.
  • You never know when history will be watching.
  • If my soulmate behaved that way, I'd reevaluate the state of my soul.
  • Sometimes you feel loved because of how much you love the other person.
  • The sugar is expired.
  • Why. Why are people like this.
  • There's probably something wrong with it. You just haven't thought it through.
  • Pride only hurts. It never helps. You fight through that shit.
  • Don't be afraid of the soap. Spread it around.
  • You told me to deal with it. So I dealt with it.
  • Roommates were a mistake.
  • My hometown is flooded. I think its cursed.
  • I've taken too many photos of my corgi's butt over the past few years.
  • He's super dense. He's the embodiment of the elementary school playground.
  • It was written in sharpie on the plant for a reason. Do not put monstera outside.
  • I am the Senate.
  • Good news: my calculations are correct. Bad news: my calculations are correct.
  • Please stop throwing noodles at the wall.
  • There's no 'how to' for grief.
  • It's like lesson one In geriatric nursing. Confused geriatric patient = UTI.
  • I don't believe in witchcraft. No. I believe in cold, hard, SORCERY.
  • Please think about how you can live in a situation where the only reasonable being there is a cat.
  • Combined Arms. One arm is punching you while the other is messing with your phone.
  • He's been dying of the same heart attack for twenty years.
  • Boontje komt om zijn loontje.
  • Daughters are not boxes with grandchildren inside.
  • I'm bipolar. I don't mind being called crazy. I mean... it's true.
  • You are allowed to be mean to Pong Krell.
  • Hey! You reposted my repost.
  • We have fixed the pancake market. Now you can actually do stuff with them.
  • Turns out that hell has no bottom.
  • Quick question, what do we do with the pancakes other than gamble?
  • Pranking is a fine art on a fine line.
  • Anything can happen when someone is mentally disturbed.
  • I don't think anyone wants to cuddle with vomit...
  • I was not trying to create the perfect biscuit. I was trying to recreate a memory.
  • Be you. And get a new therapist, that one's broken.
  • They're my past. Everybody's haunted by their past.
  • Don't run around with anyone who'd call a grown man 'boy'.
  • Don't listen to the bad advice beedog.
  • Everybody has an arse, and some are smart.
  • If you have to convince yourself multiple times to not break up, it’s time to break up.
  • People resent the fact that they have to rely on someone else.
  • Quickly, rub your dad over your body.
  • You're very well spoken, for a duck.
  • The more desks the merrier. And rooms, and room!
  • If you're bored, you must be boring.
  • Can you hear the voices of the paintings?
  • Imortalised in art, those in paintings never age.
  • The pigeons, they look good on you.
  • Everyone, all will become stars.
  • I should have yawned for him...
  • I hear a tiny voice. I hear your voice. Come here...
  • Do you like this dream? Yes! I really do like it. It's like I've always been here.
  • You brought the stars with you, didn't you? It's the first time night has fallen on this world.
  • I know each of my children individually.
  • A Beamter can only be fired when sentenced to more than one year jail.
  • Do not leave the pancake bot in a voice channel.
  • You can't say it's private if a hobo can use it as a wigwam.
  • I have been doing the 'right thing' for all these years now, and where has it gotten me?
  • The world is a rich tapestry, my friends. But trust me, you don't want to see it.
  • The truth is always useful. Its just not always useful right now.
  • All that you love shall burn.
  • Digging holes is a useful skill! Just ask any dog.
  • Yes I have hypothyroidism. Also I have no self control.
  • It's the butt wiggles that are particularly concerning. I'm going to... go to another room now.
  • I would love it if he could turn into a horse, but he couldn't even turn into something relevant.
  • Long story short, it feels like a broke Jabba the Hutt has moved in to our place.
  • Why do you care about your appearances? You will not be having an open casket!
  • Sometimes horrible clothes are the best clothes.
  • I'm ready for the dirt nap, but you can't leave the party if you can't find the door.
  • You may have questioned her authority but she proved that her authority was questionable.
  • Energy and muscle capacity are very different things.
  • Oh, it's so stimulating being your hat.
  • A wall is not a booby trap. Anything that is visible can never be a booby trap.
  • Wearing rainbows outside of pride month isn't brave, it's just Wearing rainbows.
  • I like the crotch foot.
  • A big rock is sufficient signage that there is a big rock.
  • He'll mellow out in a decade.
  • People get really mad-fast in chick-fil-a parking lots for some reason.
  • You guys are worried about what data the calculator is collecting? What about the rest of windows?
  • Less a lie than a fiction to meet them in their altered reality.
  • Is it him? Is it the man you knew? I think at this point it's almost a philosophical question.
  • Mix money and family and by the end of it you'll have neither.
  • WordPress exploits work best on MediaWiki.
  • Some people are thicker than trees.
  • Give yourself permission to do what you need for you at this time.
  • Yeah, I'm actually a thing, I'm a being.
  • This whole thing is a circle. But not like a real circle, more like a freaky circle.
  • Wind chimes for genitals.
  • This is literally one sentence. Please use punctuation and paragraphs.
  • You do know periods exist, yes?
  • Why do you fear punctuation?
  • Attaching your home key to your car key on some sort of ring or keychain is for 'lames'.
  • There's no normal life, just life.
  • There's always someone better than you out there which is why it's important to stay humble.
  • There's a difference between being open-minded and being a maroon.
  • I'm not sure any reliable source would post about something like this.
  • If I absolutely need my power cord it's in my footrest with a dying pine tree.
  • Time sure exists when you aren't paying attention huh.
  • There's a difference between being busy and not caring anymore.
  • Everyone loses in a knife fight.
  • The dead don't get to control the lives of the living.
  • Which is why I don't take it as cannon, it does not make sense.
  • My grandma was an advocate of letting us pet the giant cactus. It only took all us kids once.
  • It will be dead to the bone.
  • It's not so easy to win. You have to work hard.
  • The energy is energetic.
  • The key to a good covert operation is never talking about it.
  • Cardboard is not crunchy.
  • Hey fellas, is it gay to be affectionate with your wife?
  • You have been waiting until the last minute. This is the last minute. Tell them.
  • You had one revision of a page say kurwa kurwa kurwa and the next one is all spaghetti."
  • In general you will find that the Yiddish version of pretty much anything is better.
  • The best line with manipulative people is "your emotions aren't my responsibility."
  • Some of the kindest and most gentle souls rise like a phoenix from the ashes of a traumatic past.
  • Yeah, it flooded Łódź recently. But what do you expect, the city is literally named 'boat'.
  • He called the cops on his own party FOUR times.
  • If someone is exhibiting attention-seeking behavior, they probably need attention.
  • Being a parent is a wonderful thing, I don't wish it on anybody.
  • Goddamn, Dutch street names sound like a cat walked on the keyboard.
  • And then everyone clapped.
  • I'm banned from all online sex stores. I don't wanna talk about it.
  • By 'can't cook' I mean can't make anything that doesn't taste like mildew and sadness.
  • Walter Benjamin has a van.
  • You have come this far. You are stronger than you know.
  • You have come this far. You will go further still.
  • Did I mention they literally built the bed out of stuff they found in the trash? Because they did.
  • They who give have all things; they who withhold have nothing.
  • Nice is different than good.
  • Proposing at someone else's wedding is like dying in someone's else's funeral.
  • As soon as someone has to clarify that they're joking, the jokes gone to far.
  • Even ministers have more accountability than bureaucrats.
  • They are entitled to their grief. They are not entitled to take their grief out on you.
  • I fell in love with the eyes of a cashier.
  • We've done it before. It's high time to show leadership rather than naked power.
  • It's that time of the month again. There's a wildfire on a hill next to my house.
  • A friend of ours got his nipple bit by a fish today...
  • I am the guard. I summon Justice like I Summon Monster 1.
  • It's an incredibly dream thing to do, too. It's as pointless as it is annoying.
  • Man, being an artist is amazing and shitty at the same time.
  • If you don't play, you can't lose.
  • PHP is the art of taking something dumb and removing the only sensible bits it had.
  • Okay, got an official diagnosis as to why this cat is bulging. Apparently... he's fat.
  • It's gone from being a glory hole to being a very small window.
  • Please just pick one argument and stick to it.
  • You do know you take baths face up, right?
  • I have very expensive tastes, which I work around by being very skilled.
  • Your mom knows how to onion.
  • Join me. Eels keep spawning.
  • Everything is food until proven otherwise.
  • Her time has passed. If there's an afterlife I'm sure she's pleased we're finally suffering.
  • Act really dumb. Make him explicitly spell out his creepiness.
  • You're the hero nobody needs but everybody wants to be.
  • It is impossible for someone who has 15,000 cloaks not to want more.
  • It pays to be the keeper of knowledge that no one else could be bothered to learn.
  • The guy's a schizophrenic. All he has is weird.
  • If you'd stop being so angry all the time, perhaps the world'd stop seeming so mean.
  • You should know more about tree guy. I'm concerned you don't.
  • There is always a bit of truth in legends.
  • Violence is never the answer. Violence is a question. The answer is yes.
  • Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.
  • His mouth wrote a check his butt couldn't cash and he got arrested.
  • I've got illegals in my bottom.
  • So the fix is... you have to beat phan into submission.
  • Trauma is complicated and doesn't require a direct articulable explanation.
  • It's why wombats poop cubes.
  • There are awful things in this world, but there are things worth protecting, too.
  • Now tell me, what is the wish you will pay for with your soul?
  • No potato salad is that good.
  • It's like bringing condoms to a baby shower.
  • Most who gain 'expertise' on the subject of the religion leave the religion.
  • You lived, and then you died. You have not been forgotten.
  • Look baby, I don't wanna brag, but I'm hung like a jury.
  • That's 19 years ago. Kids born after that UI can now vote.
  • You're under arrest for resisting arrest.
  • Hello Operator, this is Batman.
  • A new child is not a replacement for a dead person.
  • Just because I've never seen a tornado in real life doesn't mean they don't exist, holy hell.
  • A lot of the politenesses in language is functionally thoughtless lies.
  • A good bra is like an orthopedic mattress.
  • Scientifically, vegetables don't exist.
  • A coconut is a fibrous, one-seeded drupe, which sounds like a Shakespearean insult to me.
  • I am made of paper, but so are you.
  • If you love your partner why the fuck do you need strippers?
  • People think cucumbers don't really have a smell, but by god they do.
  • VPN IS THE OFFICIAL E-SPORT GUMMY™
  • Oh, it's not going to be classy at all. Trying too hard is desperately vulgar, after all.
  • Behold, Brother, the Light within the soup.
  • Over-tired me tends to double down in stubbornness. Sleep is the only cure.
  • Love and respect your brothers. The rest is just commentary.
  • Don't bang temple sex workers.
  • I'm Welsh and don't speak Welsh. I don't think anyone speaks Welsh, to be honest.
  • Aggressive baby in training, will bite.
  • Some things happen for a reason. Others just happen.
  • It's about freedom. Individuality. Choice. Everything they value comes down to this.
  • How well they treat you is far more important than how much you like them.
  • That might be why you rarely fight, if you're never assertive. I'm worried, now.
  • I can afford it and if it's a placebo effect, I don't care because it works.
  • Yeah it's odd, but the best things often are.
  • Ever spent time in a small town? Now imagine that but for centuries.
  • I suggest you play Candy Crush on the toilet for awhile and think about your actions here.
  • Let's try these nightmare vision goggles. Hmm. Everything looks exactly the same.
  • I think singing that song just conjures guns.
  • The left is not an extreme position.
  • There's no such thing as a dying man; we're alive until the moment we're dead.
  • So literally, my financial security is because I got hit by a car.
  • I made my money the old-fashioned way. I got run over by a Lexus.
  • The inverted corner drawer is stupid. I want non-euclidean cabinetry.
  • And how.
  • I will milk your vanity for precious globs of madness!
  • When I was a kid, my imagination was my escape. And clearly I never grew up.
  • 8-10 years old is a weird mix of a little kid and big kid. Sometimes it's hard to navigate.
  • GPL compliance is always a work in progress.
  • Why do people not understand the distinction between 'right' and 'obligation'?
  • Oh sweet crispy jesus.
  • Okay this is a new one on me. A single purpose account... to wikilink articles to themselves.
  • Pretty sure he's too much of a loser to spell 'loser'.
  • When I was younger we couldn't buy spoons under 16 'cause they can be used for heroin.
  • Malicious compliance is a beautiful thing.
  • DO NOT ORDER LEECHES BY EMAIL. THIS WILL DELAY YOUR ORDER.
  • It's 2020, there's no such things as jokes anymore.
  • High school 'educational trips' are basically 'legally underage children getting wasted abroad'.
  • You know what they call natural remedies that work? Medicine. They call them medicine.
  • The spring rolls are chewy and taste like fridge.
  • You transitize the pre-existing verbulation.
  • Life is unpredictably hard.
  • Waiting to be asked isn't actually helpful.
  • It's easier to forgive someone for being wrong than for being right.
  • Fun fact: Oreos are vegan. They're also dreadful.
  • Don't try to prank people if you can't handle it backfiring in your face.
  • It makes me feel like poop.
  • I love my mom, and I love her more when we don't live together.
  • Looking around intensely at stuff means treats, love and attention.
  • Sometimes strong people don't fight back.
  • Chain-smoking tastes like 50's perfume if you try hard enough.
  • Someone sleeping on the couch is an indication that nothing happened.
  • The Red Army set up camp in my cellar.
  • SPIDERS MUTTER AMONG THEMSELVES.
  • Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you're stupid and make bad decisions.
  • The chainsaw was originally invented in the 1800's as a surgical tool to help with childbirth.
  • I think a barking kid coming at you is more unnerving than an actual dog.
  • Get off the damn roof.
  • If you put batteries in your mouth you will absorb their power and gain superpowers.
  • I've seen far more abnormal behavior on the bus than I have in any mental institution.
  • There's lots of bed that you can sleep on. Just move down.
  • ​Africa is a country. Everyone in Africa lives in huts and lives in constant fear of leopards.
  • A quiet place...
  • Good hustle.
  • It's a bit like what happened to Edge, except nobody expected Microsoft to be smart to begin with.
  • Does she usually exhibit such difficulty with basic chains of sequence and cause and effect?
  • People are fallible.
  • Everyone needs therapy.
  • If you drive 15 minutes in London, you won't have moved from your original spot.
  • American schools sometimes look like sports grounds who teach students as a side hustle.
  • Fuck the ocean.
  • You are not responsible for being the chocolate warden.
  • At night it's like a scooter graveyard... dead scooters everywhere you look... a little creepy.
  • When you've spent years and years being dehumanized, even a simple kindness feels like a big deal.
  • Monsters are generally weird shapes. People are either Lardo, midgets or Señor Girlyboy.
  • When vegetables begin to develop sections that appear as if to contain blood, remove them.
  • Truth begins in lies.
  • It's always ugly. We can live with dignity. We can't die with it.
  • It's a journey to love yourself but it's never too late to start!
  • Verifiably demonstrate. Point out the obvious.
  • Nobody should change the underwear they wear for other people.
  • I saw this; I am worried. Are you worried?
  • You look a lot smarter asking questions than blithely not answering them.
  • Oh yeah, it's so hard having a hot wife who makes good money. Really tough, pray for me.
  • It is only the sacred things that are worth touching.
  • If you've got time to fantasize about a beautiful death, why not live beautifully until the end?
  • You pick your nose because you think your face is a butt, AND YOU SHOULD THINK THAT!
  • In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
  • Things that try to look like things often do look more like things than things.
  • Fish meat is practically a vegetable.
  • Any dog that weighs less than 50lbs is essentially a cat and cats are pointless.
  • It's possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness. That is life.
  • Never rub another man's rhubarb.
  • Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only antidote to shame.
  • People are bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.
  • All these moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.
  • Sometimes a hypocrite is nothing more than a man in the process of changing.
  • I sort of always forget it's not just a tv-show. Oops...
  • Death is just another path, one that we all must take.
  • People die when they are killed.
  • But have you asked God? He might have some spare essential oils.
  • What the cinnamon toast fuck kind of pseudoscience is this?
  • The world has always been shit. It has now simply become undeniably obvious.
  • You're an angel, you were born to be his guardian after we pass.
  • The spoon. You can improve on it by making it comically large.
  • I'm not actually sure it's entirely sane to pretend to be insane.
  • Everything is conditional. You can't always anticipate the condition.
  • Okay, we named all of the horses. Clearly this was the most important thing to do.
  • Your identity isn't a political discussion.
  • Given enough time, probability will crowd out hope, then crowd out the desire for it.
  • I did a thing one time at that place.
  • Sometimes I do then I be like I did.
  • It's easy to say what's the right thing to do when it's not your life.
  • Surely you wouldn't force a man to pay alimony to a cat, right?
  • You know that two sharps can make a blunt.
  • I didn't understand it wasn't normal at the time.
  • What the actual kentucky fried fuck happened here.
  • Money doesn't make good people. I've pretty consistently found the opposite, actually.
  • You can't buy class.
  • I am 100% sure you cannot 'accidentally' put mayo into a laptop with a syringe.
  • You, sir, are a first rate sister.
  • Americans don't have maps so they can't know where things are.
  • Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
  • Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof.
  • Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
  • Corruptissima re publica plurimae leges.
  • Silence in the face of evil is itself evil. Not to speak is to speak, not to act is to act.
  • There might not be angels, but there are people who might as well be angels.
  • Words are permanent. Someday you'll say something you'll wish you could take back.
  • I don't joke about things falling from the sky.
  • That's the wonderful thing about asking. It exists.
  • It's funny 'cause it's true. It's also sad 'cause it's true.
  • You found yourself a wild nutjob. Try not to let her ruin your day.
  • Selective mutism is never a good sign.
  • Everything's a crisis for teens.
  • There is no one more blind than the one who does not want to see.
  • Life goals is to be a foul-mouthed old lady on a bus.
  • There is a big difference between using swear words in conversation and swearing at someone.
  • Don't give up on something you can't see.
  • You think there are errors in it. You lack faith.
  • I don't like the mistruths. They make us not trust the insane truths.
  • The person who is naked is never the person you want to see naked.
  • If I could just, wouldn't I just?
  • Everything is fine and since he didn't actually rape or murder you, your feelings aren't valid.
  • You're the opposite of a fair-weather friend. You're a... shit-weather friend.
  • Yeah your middle name is where you put the stupid name, that's why mine is Middle.
  • Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock did it better.
  • WHY IS THERE SO MUCH OTTER CHARACTER ART
  • Be charitable with your own money and resources and not other people's.
  • Hey psst, wanna buy some cubes.
  • The spirit world needs holes in things. It's how you know it's the spirit world.
  • Now we're acting like a region.
  • If, and if, my arse were pointy.
  • I'm not mad, not even close. I'm just so indescribably sad and disappointed.
  • People seconds away from death aren't thinking straight.
  • You are an autonomous being and deserve to spend your time off how you want.
  • If it's not fun, why do you do it?
  • How could you possibly emotionally manipulate a baby? It's a baby!
  • God dag, mann. Økseskaft!
  • Anything could be good. Very little ever is.
  • I stand alone, my soul and me, beneath the mask that others see.
  • How in the world does someone hate beef stroganoff?
  • Don't start none, won't be none.
  • If you have heart problems don't eat random plants and see a doctor.
  • No slime on the school bus.
  • I have uttered the words 'don't lick the headlights'.
  • Why are birds? When is blue?
  • So, this is the story you made up about who you are. It's a nice one. Too bad it isn't true.
  • I really enjoy sitting on my ass doing nothing.
  • I am the world's most amazing piece of shit!
  • Ohio exists and it is only corn.
  • Zinc is just budget Cadmium.
  • What's big, gray, and can't swim? A castle.
  • A blind man walked into a bar. And several tables and chairs
  • I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
  • What's the difference between an orange?
  • 5 billion neutrinos walk into a bar. One says 'Ouch!'
  • Life is not a movie. You have to take people at face value.
  • When you look at it for a long time, grass is really disgusting. It moves like worms.
  • Oh. So this is what it's like to not be full of my own shit. This is glorious.
  • Death is an illusion. It's more akin to changing your clothes than an end.
  • Kink shaming is my kink.
  • Other people having delicious cake will make my cake less delicious.
  • That has bones. I also have bones. That's so fucked up. Why would I eat something that has bones?
  • The reason your third eye 'sees' more than your two eyes is because it is blind.
  • The person you want when you're dying isn't the same as you want when you're living.
  • Never leave a wrong to ripen into evil.
  • How do we know that cat still exists when it's in the box?
  • Why do you base your political ideology more on who you are against rather than what you are for?
  • Fuck that I will continue eating 23 Oreos when I get hungry.
  • Privacy is a modern invention. Towns used to be too small to keep any secrets.
  • Every omission sets a new standard.
  • The pizza hut roof is actually called a Dutch gable.
  • Never before have I seen such a convoluted combination of modern and traditional in a single house.
  • This is my favourite colour and even I can admit that it does not work well for carpets.
  • Frankly I respect the sheer commitment to saccharine pink and teal.
  • They figured out it was forged, and now, for some reason, they don't believe anything I say.
  • Why is it always the religious men who end up being the most creepy?
  • A language is a dialect with an army.
  • It is all Serbian, and may dog fuck his mother to the end of the world and back.
  • What did he want you to do? Drop the dog as a sacrifice?
  • Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
  • Whenever you cook duck, wear pants.
  • If you need to make shit up like that to justify your beliefs, you don't really believe in them.
  • The whole point of the internet is to be picky.
  • I know pain. You think you can handle it, and then one day you can't.
  • The mech, despite its canister throwing arm that throws canisters, can't throw canisters.
  • If all the water drains into hell, bicycles are the new boats.
  • No true king has to say 'I am king'.
  • Oop, down I go.
  • Real change comes from within.
  • When someone is insecure, it is generally because they lacked security as a child.
  • A clean reactor is a happy reactor.
  • BEHOLD, THE BLOB.
  • Wikia's office in Poznań may be by a lake, but it's a cold lake. and it smells bad.
  • Can you breathe today? I just opened my window for the first time in weeks. Now I'm going outside!
  • It's okay, it's just another lesson in impermanence.
  • He is a fucking moron, but I love him and look up to him.
  • i did gooderer today, i social mediaed. sorry couldnt resist.
  • And here we have a paedophile cleverly disguised as a detached house.
  • If you wanna act useless at 50, you're old.
  • Last I checked, eternity is actually longer than a life sentence.
  • I'm used to lots of things. I work at Wal-Mart.
  • "Everyone is awful." Customer service in a nutshell.
  • Things are going to keep getting worse on our planet and we are in for some serious human tragedy.
  • There are no corners here. How can you get lost in a place with no corners?
  • Cat is amazing because he just shows up out of nowhere like a monolith when I'm prone on the floor.
  • They abandoned him because of honour, but now they are dishonoured by having abandoned him.
  • It's like having invisible dwarves dragging silk scarves all over you.
  • Fate is a double edged porcupine.
  • He experienced the consequences, whether he learned anything or not.
  • I'm sorry, I wasn't familiar with hooker protocol.
  • We've shared a variety of situations.
  • You spent your whole life looking for the truth. Sometimes the truth just sucks.
  • I'm not going to stop doing drugs! It's reality that sucks.
  • You'll do the honest thing. You'll lie.
  • Pascal's wager is facile. Saying it's facile is facile.
  • He's happy. He's dead.
  • Is this hell? An eternity of people trying to convince me to live?
  • I appreciate your attempts to make my flesh more perfect. By making it less flesh.
  • They say eliminate your stress... living is stressful, suicide?
  • To disdain, first you must comprehend the dain.
  • I live off sugar, carbs, beans, and coffee.
  • If you don't like it, don't look!
  • Few things make you feel more worthless than job hunting.
  • I mean sometimes you just gotta make a pie when you're in a fight.
  • I sat there, dressed up and alone. I finished my pint and went home.
  • Don't even have to buy it. Man, free whippets were all the rage in the 90s.
  • Any number of garden gnomes is a suspicious purchase.
  • Sometimes I like to rub myself in vaseline, roll on the floor, and pretend that I'm a slug.
  • People who drown other people in jargon are generally covering up sophistry with verbosity.
  • I saw pig where there once was not pig.
  • Write the story elsewise. It's all of this. It's none of this. It's a love-letter told to a dream.
  • There are those who bear disliking. There is merit to fear. We need depth, angles, perspective.
  • Yes.
  • Once you're a part of a system, it becomes natural to protect the system.
  • Little inefficiencies add up.
  • No one 'wins' in a fight, they just get injured the least.
  • Isn't this rain wet today?
  • This cat is worth about fifty bucks and a knifing.
  • A gift doesn't have conditions, a contract does.
  • Believe in potato, for potato believes in you.
  • Blasphimer! Only Lord Helix can save your soul!
  • Evildoers will meet their end, an eternal death.
  • We put round pizzas in squared boxes to eat them in triangles.
  • Cows eat grass, FUCKING GRASS, and become enormous. GRASS!
  • A human head remains conscious for around 20 seconds after being decapitated.
  • Drowning doesn't look like drowning. It looks like sinking.
  • I can handle anything, anything at all, for one minute.
  • I will never jeopardize the beans.
  • No goodbye, No see you soon. English manners aren't what they used to be.
  • Yorkshiremen keep their word. Even to a shower of soft shandy-sipping southerners like you lot.
  • Real life is inconveniently slow.
  • Mark should be here, but he isn't.
  • Then you die. Always, you die. And there's not one... fucking... thing... anyone can do for you.
  • geraffes are so dumb.
  • Hey asshats quit downvoting me I am not the one who tried to eat the wall.
  • He is speaking the language of gods.
  • There is no god.
  • I don't like it.
  • I literally don't care if it's fake or not. It's called suspending disbelief for enjoyment.
  • I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife.
  • Living in a small town or community is a lot like living in the Twilight Zone.
  • Think about it as flattening the penises of their hearts.
  • This place kills fun, and passion, and excitement and love, until all you have left are milkshakes.
  • Cereal is better with water than milk.
  • I eat cereal with water.
  • Why can't you fuck a coconut like a normal person?
  • That must have been a hoax. I want to believe that some lines won't be crossed.
  • I've read it, and still refuse to believe it was real.
  • Yes girls like edges of furnitures.
  • Its not as bad as your imagination - probably.
  • Today you, tomorrow me.
  • Hoy por tí, mañana por mí.
  • But there's no cake that has the texture of fresh celery.
  • Everything is real, even when it isn't.
  • Crazy people see the cracks in reality because they're cracked, themselves.
  • I don't think he was particularly lucky. Extremely average though, yeah.
  • That's what you do when somebody gives you a phone, you play along.
  • Some people like to eat beets. No one knows why.
  • Entertaining needn't be good.
  • Hippies are eating so many nuts in city parks that squirrels are dying.
  • Well, it's a sewage system. Isn't it supposed to be crappy?
  • There is no war within the walls. Here we are safe. Here we are free.
  • I have way too many ferrets. I get the 'meat is on sale, stock up the freezer' mentality.
  • I feel like we have moved and are now homeless in another house.
  • I just swallowed 8 Tylenol extra strength and 3 razor blades, whatcha gonna do about it?
  • The secret ingredient... is crime!
  • Just because I'm nicer to your boyfriend than you don't mean I want to fuck him.
  • I wanted to ask why, but I felt like any conceivable answer would just beckon more questions.
  • I'm not participating in their business, my third party is.
  • I am a grey rock.
  • Nobody wants to explain that islands don't float on the water.
  • What the what
  • That word salad was choice, my friend.
  • Only those deprived of freedom have the barest inkling of what it really is.
  • The Unclean are not sinners, they are not products of our disobedience. I suspect they are us.
  • It didn't matter if you were crying, because your voice was too small to be heard.
  • Retribution is not the same as resolution.
  • The cat has to learn to deal with being enjiggled.
  • You should look into this, because life isn't supposed to be this hard.
  • You never realize how much noise a semi-sub rig makes until it just... stops...
  • The scariest thing to find in the woods is people.
  • Let's work the problem, people. Let's not make things worse by guessing.
  • The sound of the wind going through my barn sounds like children laughing.
  • Turns out goats' eyes reflect red at night, and they like staring in windows.
  • You can hear it creaking. It's the noise that something makes before it breaks.
  • You're not dead until you're warm and dead.
  • I'm there to do my job and what I'm told to do.
  • It's gonna be okay.
  • He won, then passed out.
  • The room is quiet. My head apparently is not.
  • Trench coats fell out of fashion because of that weird kid in everyone's middle school.
  • I was never angry with you. I was sad because I thought you'd lost your way.
  • Potatoes are an aphrodisiac once you've turned them into moonshine.
  • You are eating potatoes too suggestively.
  • A minimum wage job isn't worth getting stabbed over.
  • You can't question the loyalty of a man who's been a Cleveland fan for decades.
  • There were so many ways to make it work and they chose none of them.
  • The mind of the writer must be too complicated to understand.
  • Past tense 'yeet' is just 'yote'.
  • The axe forgets but the tree remembers.
  • I honestly have no idea why my profile is labeled NSFW.
  • The second time is not as terrifying as the first time.
  • Just because it's in my head doesn't make it any less real.
  • If something is legal it is by definition ethical for business purposes.
  • For a while I felt everyone was either stupid, a motherfucker, or a stupid motherfucker.
  • Ah ok. Just your run of the mill meth-fueled identity theft ring. No biggy.
  • You either die a Spongebob, or live long enough to become a Squidward.
  • You can fit an entire bottle of wine into a Starbucks trenta cup.
  • It takes around half an hour to literally die from laughter.
  • Even brick walls need a foundation.
  • You're not really living, you're just waiting to die.
  • You got a lame, lame claim to fame!
  • Time is relative. To say that time passes is to set a point in motion.
  • Gestures hold transient meaning.
  • Every word was chosen.
  • Please keep reading.
  • Everything that is understood is language. Numbers, too, are language.
  • Moth eggs get everywhere.
  • Insert metaphor as indicated in the instructions.
  • Notes may provide context, but not meaning.
  • Notes may provide meaning, but not context.
  • A 'universe' is an artificial construct.
  • This was all planned in retrospect.
  • Words may be recycled.
  • Gods lie.
  • If this comment is removed, the program will blow up.
  • There are consequences to every choice.
  • There is sacrifice in every promise.
  • There are toasters in the cat.
  • A vague class compounds meaning.
  • Links may cross inter-universal boundaries.
  • Not more owly.
  • Do we have to make you a list, sweetling?
  • Adults should only have to be told 'no' once.
  • Anything is a drug if you're brave enough.
  • Sir this is a Wendy's.
  • Costco only exists because teenagers eat so much.
  • I still remember the very drunk French family who bought 10 pregnancy tests.
  • You're never too old for Tinkerbell.
  • Nothing says 'family' like the whole family being dead.
  • We all start as assholes.
  • They exist in the math. I don't think anyone thinks they exist in real life.
  • You're nosey for a cabbage.
  • an duck is an type of birb
  • Stress is desirable because the only body that is totally free from stress is a DEAD ONE.
  • Are you afraid of death?
  • I believe there is something else there because I just feel it in my gut.
  • Remember before you were born? It's like that.
  • I was just expecting dry skin or something. Not, you know, attack rice.
  • Or what if animals were round?
  • And that is my personal terror. That I will die, and that I will not.
  • The beauty of memes is that they are ephemeral. They burn bright, but burn out fast.
  • All my tattoos are for me. I don't care if they make sense to someone else.
  • Don't forget. You're here forever.
  • Do it for her.
  • May the bridges I burn light the way.
  • Turns out the dude just really like spanners.
  • Coconuts do not already have holes in them. They're entirely closed.
  • You know what these masks are. Wear them long enough, and they become you.
  • Let the dead rest.
  • In my opinion, always stay away from ghost peppers. But that's me.
  • My fingers are infused with ghost peppers.
  • Why is MediaWiki so shitty?
  • Ten thousand rice is a cup of rice.
  • We're missing something.
  • I'll remember.
  • Zomboys. They have yet to decay to the point of being zombmen.
  • Coconuts are the true master of disguise. Able to turn everything into a mammal.
  • Was this normal? Describing it like that makes it sound extra strange.
  • When I was little I would go into our old house because of the shadow men that watch us sleep.
  • The worst horror movie I've ever seen was called Death Bed. Tagline: The bed that eats.
  • Could you please come out of there? It's weird saying all this stuff to a photocopier.
  • It tastes like the baby changing station at Sea World.
  • Open chicken as you would a book.
  • The fortune cookie's looking at me.
  • All living things must abide by the laws of the shape they inhabit.
  • Don't be so polite.
  • It's a weapon. It can kill the monsters, if only you believe.
  • I'd like to congratulate drugs for winning the war on drugs.
  • You are old. Goodbye.
  • How can you tell when you're drunk if you're never sober?
  • You aren't meant to interact with your doppelgänger.
  • He's only mostly dead. And mostly dead is slightly alive!
  • He's not booksmart. He's punchsmart.
  • You mortals are just a hoot. I hate hoots.
  • You have to try very hard to get banned from Phabricator.
  • I want to live a life so grandiose that when I die, the universe ends.
  • Yossarian had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
  • We're in America, not some shithole country. The slugs here don't have those nasty ass diseases.
  • A sceptic is someone who wants to turn magic to science. A cynic wants to turn good to bad.
  • Since bees make honey it only makes sense that wasps make mustard.
  • It's not something we discuss.
  • The parents are the way to get to the kids.
  • Children are how you rewrite your society.
  • If you have a life, make sure it's real, it could be an illusion.
  • The ball is out of bounce.
  • Personally I'd rather get hit than not able to use my stuff or go outside for a week.
  • If somebody doesn't want to be helped you can't help them.
  • Harmony is a recent concept promoted by tired civilization.
  • 'Five second' literally means 2.5. You mean 2.5 of the size of human memory, or 2.5 GB?
  • Sometimes it isn't a personality disorder, it's just their personality.
  • Anyone seeing a therapist for the first time likely has a particularly pressing need for it.
  • There are only two types of wine: wine you like, and wine you don't.
  • She did bare minimum but she did it reliably and correctly.
  • What is the most inappropriate nickname you can give a toaster?
  • You can play the game any way you want! But you can only win it one way.
  • One drugs, please.
  • Funerals are for the living.
  • Always 'sobbing' for some reason. Who the fuck even says that in real life?
  • The feeling of rust.. On my salad fingers.. Is almost orgasmic.. I like rusty spoons..
  • I like to see the good in people but dude... where's my porch?
  • IT'S CALLED FAGGOTING MA'AM.
  • If I could call a guy Mr. Bitch at work I would be so happy.
  • Waking a person unnecessarily should not be considered a capital crime. For the first offense.
  • A photo isn't truly finished until it's printed.
  • I don't want to connect my toaster to my telephone. They have nothing to say to each other.
  • I go to pornhub comments for my news.
  • It's not that bad. They have other animals fucking cars too.
  • Pigtails are too sexual to wear at school.
  • There's just something about having a priest talk about whacking off that sticks with you.
  • I'm sorry, but you are in a relationship with the letter C?
  • Not everything real is true, and not every dream is false.
  • I'm not a vegetarian because I like animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
  • My joints randomly dislocate. Just yesterday, I dislocated my sternum. Yes, that's a thing.
  • That's like an entire... category.
  • My body just feels like a sack of mouldy onions.
  • Are we out of touch? No, it's the customers who are wrong.
  • It was an assault on the senses, but it was also glorious!
  • Probably wasn't the best example of long term thinking but, then again, it was AOL.
  • Ah, the good old days when internet crazies were just weird and not pedophiles or violently racist.
  • Just the fact there was a <blink> HTML tag says it all.
  • Generally, if something has to market itself as 'luxury', it is not luxury.
  • I'm going to paint my dog's nails now so wish me luck.
  • Self confidence and self worth is good, but it has to be earned.
  • Liking cheese is carved deep in your soul.
  • You've never been listened to.
  • I've lost many a grease pen to the bilge.
  • It's both rape and fucked up, but that's how it is here.
  • You goin? We fly you there. You been? We already dun flew up in there.
  • If it's dark enough, you can see the stars.
  • Everywhere like such as.
  • I just felt a balloon deflate in my heart.
  • How disrespectful to blame her when she isn't alive to defend herself.
  • Baby talk will snuff out sex life like nothing else will.
  • Maybe they shouldn't swim with dolphins if they don't want to get raped.
  • Anything that argues that chocolate is a salad is a winner in my book.
  • Gross! A face! Put that thing away!
  • People from normal, happy families can be remarkably shortsighted when it comes to the rest of us.
  • He hit my car with his him.
  • Pure chocolate heaven! Best brownies yet. Denser than a black hole. Delicious.
  • I learned that 'ignorance is bliss' is actually a pro life tip, not a detriment.
  • And some people just seem to be incapable of doing... nothing.
  • I ate drywall. It lives up to its name very well.
  • Do not eat bullets. Even if you are in the military.
  • Plywood is your friend, it gives a firm surface. Extremely comfortable.
  • A weird fake science presentation from real scientists and professional people.
  • The government doesn't really like it when you show how to refine uranium on the internet.
  • According to the statute, you can't vote no.
  • Congratulations, your cat is indeed a cat.
  • In relativity, matter tells space how to bend, and space tells matter how to move.
  • We are the future.
  • The wicked flee when none pursue.
  • Money was short, months were long.
  • Everyone got a metaphorical dick.
  • Ain't no smell like diabetic foot.
  • With all I've seen, it's the behaviour of some people I find disgusting.
  • I couldn't eat alone in a nice restaurant because only prostitutes do that!
  • Green is not a creative colour.
  • Every relationship needs some mystery... don't tell me everything!
  • Death is some bullshit.
  • We've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas.
  • It's awfully quiet tonight.
  • It's more common than you think.
  • You can't parody what's already so terrible that it's basically a parody of itself.
  • I know writers who use subtext, and they're all cowards.
  • As I rounded the corner, I felt muscular and compact like corned beef.
  • I'm very sorry about whatever the fuck her problem is.
  • Nothing wrong with a little eyeball soap.
  • Nice, safe dirt. Good dirt.
  • That was oddly specific.
  • Any form of death is a once in a life experience so any way it happens is good with me.
  • There are many 'zombie' animals. Here's which ones you should actually worry about.
  • It has one normal leg. And three extendable cybernetic legs.
  • Yeah, I hate when I have shrimp in my boiled horse hooves.
  • Fear isn't real. Don't be scared of anything.
  • Gasoline was just better with lead.
  • There are times when I think I should just stop talking. Often it's before I start talking.
  • Any idiot can just make stuff up. There's no honour in that.
  • Drunk brain won't remember that it forgot.
  • Never buy a dog when you're drunk.
  • I'd have to pay for that and it's free to bitch.
  • Solid is an illusion in a universe that drifts and flows.
  • Solid is an illusion in a universe that drifts and pulls.
  • Some people may say that gives analytic theory more depth, but to them I just say, shut up.
  • It was just whispering in the trees, but there were words in it.
  • Look at this asshole with object permanence.
  • I thought it was like sexuality where we're all a bit gay or a lot gay.
  • You sound absolutely exhausting to deal with.
  • Why is everyone assuming he was a farmer? This was in a town.
  • I promise this did happen. I think we've all got a few unbelievable but true stories in our past.
  • I have smiled so much that my whole face has a headache.
  • Even with the neighbor gone, you don't just climb onto other people's houses.
  • Does your deaf cat enjoy being vacuumed?
  • Remember that you don't have to be good at anything when you start.
  • I'm very gay.
  • The devil is in our carpet.
  • It's hard to speak up sometimes, but man, the alternative is so much worse.
  • Often souls incarnate in groups to learn their lessons. I find that is often the case.
  • I could defend this. But that's because I argue a lot.
  • Why am I alone in the house? Where did the others go?
  • There are more airplanes in the ocean than submarines in the air.
  • Giving in for fear of death or extreme physical violence is not consent.
  • Wasps don't have great eyesight.
  • Thinking of reaching out to an ex? Masturbate first then think about it.
  • Use a raw chicken breast to capture dust stuck in hard to reach places like vents.
  • To every drift there is a flow.
  • I too now regret knowing this.
  • I have long since accepted that I am an ecosystem.
  • MSRP is for soccer moms, fools and impulsive addicts. I'm at least one of those things.
  • Lazer Pony is not here. Only the couch king.
  • I always talk with a sarcastic tone of voice, that way people won't catch on to how dumb I am.
  • There's a difference between paying for my attendance or my effort.
  • All mortals are equal; it is not their birth, but virtue itself that makes the difference.
  • You'll know it's all true, you'll just feel it... a Mormon just believes.
  • Seeing isn't believing, believing is seeing.
  • What if it was actually one really big frog?
  • Maybe showing the poop communicates the accessibility and openness of what we are doing here.
  • This cat does not exist.
  • I am okay! I hope you're okay too.
  • There's no cure for fools.
  • He never commanded us to carry on like this.
  • How do you do, fellow kids?
  • Every day now is fresh new gravity.
  • It's not regex. It uses a proper tokenizer.
  • Being responsible only seems like an evil act to those who are extremely insecure.
  • As for PHP, I just wish it stole features from other languages... faster.
  • Look at the parking lot, Larry! Just look at that parking lot.
  • Is the answer in Kabbalah, in the Torah, or is there even a question?
  • It sounds like you don't know anything. Why even tell me the story?
  • Why does he make us feel the questions if he's not going to tell us any answers?
  • Mathematics is the art of the possible.
  • When the truth is found to be lies, and the hope within you dies, then what?
  • May the singular they forever reign.
  • Welcome to high level Pathfinder, where the numbers are made up and the math doesn't matter.
  • It literally says UW does not work on mobile, at all. Well, it does work, it's just unusable.
  • Lights out sounded like a squadron of very soft, very distant helicopters.
  • A portcullis is not black magic. It's fucking carpentry.
  • If I can't leave, I can get out other ways too.
  • We are everywhere at the end of time.
  • Repetition and rupture can give way to calmer moments. The unfamiliar may sound and feel familiar.
  • Time is often spent only in the moment leading to isolation.
  • Post-Awareness Stage 6 is without description.
  • Confusion so thick you forget forgetting...
  • ... on the other hand, of course, it may have been crying from sheer temper. Children sometimes do.
  • It also happens that this 'edge case' is essentially the entire realm of human experience.
  • Just because you are theoretically correct doesn't mean you are useful.
  • No one wants your second hand duck dick eyes.
  • You're as useless as a Marzipan Dildo.
  • This is the soundtrack for a piece of fruit decomposing.
  • Why is the boulder smoking? He might get lung cancer.
  • I feel like this song plays inside a fridge when it's closed.
  • This makes me want to write a letter to all the people that don't exist.
  • I always look forward to springtime when the birds are slamming cloaca all over the place.
  • This is infinity, this is the death of time. The audient void.
  • I'm falling and I've been falling for so long I almost forgot I ever fell.
  • Do as the finns do; vacuum the forest.
  • If it's any consolation they treat their employees just as bad as their customers.
  • He kills for sport. He howls at the moon. He meows at running water.
  • I feel like bending space to clean a kitchen might be more effort than just getting a broom.
  • Crying helps me slow down and obsess over life's problems.
  • I sincerely hate JS, but if we have V8 then goddammit, use it.
  • Mostly harmless.
  • You have to know what the question actually is in order to know what the answer means.
  • Once you understand the linkage between observation and reality, then you dance with invisibility.
  • Cat = Dog
  • E.Y.E. was very weird. You could get hacked by an ATM.
  • The cheese-bearing capacity of soup is diminished as the temperature lowers.
  • My late mom's toes did that.
  • After all, you're never alone with a rubber duck.
  • I'm glad it's cited, because I couldn't tell a male from female flying fox.
  • Kansas City is just filthy with history and public arts.
  • One reason I have an xbox is so that I can play windows games without having to deal with windows.
  • Nobody knows you're a dog on the internet.
  • WEALTH IS FLESH. GRAVITY IS DESIRE. TIME IS SIGHT. WHAT HAS BEEN WILL BE.
  • Hold on, I have to check the pig to medical kit conversion rates.
  • It's a shitty deal, but you got it. Can you handle it?
  • Well, thanks for the duck. It was a surprise.
  • Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
  • Perfume is best discovered, not announced.
  • Old ladies doused in what smells like rotting roses gives me migraines.
  • One time I was too drunk for Waffle House. That's when I knew I had to cut back.
  • Cats are fickle, when they are not just immobile hairy potatoes.
  • At no point is this relationship ever portrayed as a good idea.
  • I feel like I'm grabbing tongs every three fucking seconds. There is no joy in my tongs.
  • You are the company that you keep.
  • My son looks at me like I'm superman, but I'm only one bad decision away from indigestion.
  • A complex number is like a project plan; it has a part that is real and a part that is imaginary.
  • I'm browsing because my Xmas is honestly so miserable that I need others' pain to block out my own.
  • Why is it that the people with very little are often the first to give?
  • ... I disagree with both of you, but that might just be because I like things.
  • Sometimes I wonder if paradise and hell are one and the same.
  • Hi reader, this Monday, for the 8th time recently, we ask you to defend Wikipedia's independence.
  • Return embarrassment to sender. Return awkward to sender.
  • Apparently if you're expecting dog ass, pig ass smells really bad. Who knew?
  • No abusive person starts out abusive, otherwise they'd never find partners.
  • I'm aware of fecal transplants but to say that raw poo is safe to put in your mouth is insane.
  • Tired doesn't last forever, just the first three or so years.
  • Being asked to lie is being asked to take sides, to deceive one person for the benefit of another.
  • That is not likely to be his actual head. But rather a mask.
  • Well well well, how the turntables.
  • The dryer is on fire. The homeowner brought the dryer out to the driveway, but it is still on fire.
  • I am liquid. Cat is a state of matter.
  • Never accept an insult from someone who you wouldn't ask for advice.
  • Is transparently sad, just sticky with sadness.
  • All roads lead to the same place.
  • I have a problem ascending stairs that aren't fully connected to the wall.
  • The internet is for cats, and at some point, more of them will be dead than alive.
  • What is a noun of a pronoun with an adverb?
  • It's not premarital sex if you never get married!
  • Only through humility can true darkness be found.
  • You're worrying about the wrong bees.
  • He thinks he's a medical professional because he teaches dance.
  • In the history of 'calm down' no one has ever calmed down when told to calm down.
  • WHAT ELSE DOES THIS GUY DO THAT MAKES 'SPITTING IN OUR FOOD' A GRAY AREA FOR HER?
  • Soup is delivered fresh, in liquid-ish form.
  • Air is dirty.
  • Oh, they'll learn to fly. It's only a matter of time before someone gets a duck to the face.
  • When you think about it, Macho Juggernaut is really on everyone's side.
  • Grown adults should never be telling kids to keep 'special secrets'. It's alarming at all costs.
  • No secrets, only surprises.
  • Hanky panky parlez vous?
  • The train has gone off the rails somewhere and I'm probably somewhat fine with it.
  • Chocolate doesn't usually come in steak form. Usually.
  • This is what sipping a cloud in heaven is like.
  • Do a lot of people tell you you need therapy?
  • ...if this is indeed now, and we are indeed here.
  • They were wrong. Free will does exist. It's just fucking hard.
  • No one is as free as the dead.
  • There is ugliness in this world. Disarray. I choose to see the beauty.
  • We are blessed with free will.
  • We are cursed with free will.
  • Whoever did the sound and animations for the slubling model needs to see a priest.
  • Strong people stand up for themselves, but stronger people stand up for others.
  • He can't refuse you, you're a award winning librarian!
  • We seem to be accumulating grout at an alarming rate.
  • The boner should have read the room.
  • These were choices you were forced to make, meaning you had no choice at all.
  • Sometimes the oblivious don't always get the obvious.
  • Potato is life
  • Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate.
  • Racists always hate it when you out them. It's why they used to wear hoods.
  • Not rolling over for an asshole doesn't make you an asshole.
  • When someone shows you who they really are, believe them.
  • Legos are a better investment than gold bars.
  • Something can be done about it.
  • They're entitled to that opinion. They're also wrong.
  • Fraud is not the right word. It's like you stole these people's faith.
  • There can be no justice under an absolute law.
  • There is nothing more unfair than treating everyone the same.
  • That is a chonk! An absolute unit!
  • Do you know who you are?
  • It's hard to make a rusted fence shine with a rock.
  • My brother had a dog named Faucet. She drooled a lot.
  • I don't consider someone a true friend until our interactions are at least 50% insults.
  • We hate them, they hate us, no hard feelings.
  • If you are already happy where you are, there's no need to introduce sharks into the mix.
  • If it starts with 'hey y'all, watch this' it usually ends bad.
  • You can laugh when it's over.
  • The real trash fire was the friends we made along the way.
  • Sometimes it feels empowering, sometimes you feel exploited. That's true of any job.
  • Be glad it doesn't just say 'sigh'. Seriously.
  • Why does the moon have teeth?
  • The Greyhound is always an experience, sometimes a good one.
  • I hope he's okay. He used to be the highlight of my days when no one else could smile at me.
  • When Jesus said love your neighbour as you love yourself, only the dogs understood it.
  • You seem dumber than you look.
  • Das stoopid. Like proper stoopid.
  • Sure, I've tried heroin. But I'm trying to cut down on the number of times I try heroin. In a day.
  • Selfless reasons or not, it was the right thing to do.
  • Wikipedians in a nutshell, supporting, opposing and neutraling the same proposal.
  • What has 4 letters, never has 5, and sometimes has 9.
  • I'm not eating anything that won't come out and grow in the light.
  • This is the truth and I don't want to see it.
  • It is a sin to light a fire on the sabbath. What do you remember about the Tower of Hanoi puzzle?
  • Such a weird feeling, as if the universe itself were conspiring to keep you alive.
  • I'm not responsible for the structural integrity of the bubble you choose to live in.
  • My wife's mother thinks our daughter is 'snooty' because she uses 'all them big words'. Good times.
  • Divorce is just the formalisation of a failed marriage. It did fail kind before that.
  • Thanks, I hate it.
  • We wish to inform you that tomorrow we will be killed with our families.
  • Between towns, there's hundreds of miles of nothing. And nothing can get really weird sometimes.
  • The decaying kingdoms of dead gods don't float.
  • Don't float.
  • See the world through this monster's eyes. A rather warped perception of reality, don't you think?
  • After enough isolation and time come many doubts.
  • They're collector's items now - but of course, eventually, everything is a collector item.
  • You can forgive someone, but it doesn't mean you can trust them again.
  • The Soup is Inspiration. The Soup is Love. Smell the Soup.
  • I have never worn a T-REX suit. But I feel this in my soul.
  • It turned out there was considerable overlap between the dumbest people and the smartest bears.
  • All vegetables must be boiled for 30 minutes until properly dead.
  • Do you remember buying tofu by picking hunks out of a barrel of water at the health food store?
  • What bitter vengeance is this? The mysterious taste of apples!
  • It's a shpadoinkle day. Know what I mean?
  • The way I feel right now can only be expressed through fish!
  • C++ is better than people, and that's not saying much.
  • Our 'pantry' is literally just a pile of dry goods under our dining room table.
  • You just don't yell at people that work for you. It's not productive.
  • Some of us are over here flushing our mind of trauma. Please be kind.
  • That cot in boot camp felt like cotton clouds.
  • You might want to consider upgrading your boyfriend. This one seems... faulty.
  • Oh god. The things kids think is normal when never told otherwise.
  • What a legacy, to have literal crotch rot named after you.
  • I've seen blue jeans so stiff that they could almost stand up by themselves.
  • No amount of love can substitute for competence.
  • Sorry man. I was dead, otherwise I would have been there.
  • If you want things to happen, you need to expose yourself to randomness.
  • How can you run and plot at the same time?
  • I wish I wasn't an alcoholic so I could do nothing but drink.
  • Line cutting is a national sport in China.
  • I hate that sound. It sounds like a headache.
  • You telling me I can just send spam to the FBI and they will keep it?
  • All my enemies are dead, so I have no one to gloat over.
  • Unfortunately, sometimes we meet the liars first.
  • The correlation between wearing dinosaur onesies and lesbianism is not scientifically established.
  • I have a lot of unemployment jokes. But none of them work.
  • A skeleton walks into a bar. Orders a beer and a mop.
  • Must be awake. It's too boring to be a dream.
  • SQLite doesn't count. It accepts everything and just turns it into varchar behind the scenes.
  • That's extremely concerning. He's threatened by vegetables.
  • This is the way we bury our faults, bury our faults, bury our faults.
  • Pine was a fixture. We are not the same without him.
  • As the owner of a former toddler, they're never silky. Sticky? Stinky? Never silky.
  • Our voices are not our own.
  • Farmers' wives keep farmers alive.
  • Was there a Cars 9/11? Were the planes hijacked, or were the planes themselves radicalized?
  • Life is a buggy MMORPG with confusing mechanics.
  • Everyone assumes we start out in the same place, but we don't.
  • If that's the only life you know it's hard to see the abuse. That's true for many things.
  • Colorado Springs is a beautiful place inhabited by very strange people.
  • Have grace. Everybody fucks up. Learn from it and do better.
  • It was bonkers. It never finished, which was good because they had no idea where it was headed.
  • Just because there's magic in one place doesn't mean there's magic in other places.
  • I identify as a plush sofa in my RP.
  • This has become a war on sick people, not on drugs.
  • This hurt so much to read. Like actual pain.
  • James Bond isn't a spy, he's a human drone strike that fucks your wife.
  • This is my only shirt. I used the rest of my money to hollow my bones.
  • The dogs are too distracting to figure out what's wrong.
  • An experienced moonshiner can tell the approximate proof of liquor by shaking it in a jar.
  • This song sounds like barbecue sauce at KFC.
  • The past is a foreign country, with loads of resources and inferior weapons.
  • China most definitely isn't building a time machine.
  • Just poke a few holes in the body like a normal mobster.
  • Chicken wire will not stop a shark.
  • This image is the physical representation of entropy.
  • Struggling to open a can of beans makes you feel some sort of way.
  • Euphemisms confuse.
  • Some pain you can't forget. You'll carry this pain with you for the rest of your life.
  • The neurologist was Dr. Tooth. Somewhere there's a dentist named Dr. Brain.
  • Pork doesn't sit in your intestines for seven years if you eat it.
  • Isn't a skull in dead people only?
  • Too bad GameFreak is sitting on the Pokemon license like Smaug hoarding a mountain of gold.
  • If a service dog comes up to you without its human, follow it.
  • Spring rolls are unpredictable.
  • You know what they say; three halves don't make a whole.
  • Boats are holes in the water into which you throw your money and time.
  • Merr, your femur ferret's in my leg-simile.
  • Honestly, some people are just not cut out to be ferrets.
  • It's nice to not have to exist. It's nice to just exist.
  • Obviously the answer is one oneth, come on guys.
  • my brain is basically just a hamster in a hamster wheel, except the hamster died years ago.
  • Is mayonnaise an instrument?
  • You won't sink in lava. Lava is the density of rock. It is rock.
  • He almost certainly has some level of damage, you can't come out of a coma without it.
  • Sometimes what you really need is a change of scenery.
  • We all make mistakes. How we respond to them is the key.
  • Women are far more likely to agree to take a survey than men.
  • It's a curse being so amazing.
  • You're in the game now, buddy boy. Whether you like it or not.
  • Have you tried just not being depressed?
  • The day you think you know everything is the day you'll kill someone.
  • Shoes are to be worn as the manufacturer intended.
  • No rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • The SN10 is a major step forward because it landed before it exploded.
  • Once you cut a corner, it's no longer an expense.
  • Bingo. Management failed at its job therefore making it easier for you to bungle yours.
  • It was just the incoherent ramblings of a fried out microwave.
  • I'm all out of sage advice at this thyme.
  • Look, she's been asleep for a hundred years. Of course she has some outdated ideas.
  • I didn't spend 8 years at evil medical school to be called 'Mr. Evil.'
  • HOW THE HELL DO YOU DROP A LAPTOP IN A TOILET?
  • Many parts of the pine tree are edible.
  • Hello fellow kids, how do you do?
  • Always follow the last order.
  • Oh, it's my toes. I cut them off, they didn't fit right on my foot.
  • He did that. He did that. But that ain't all he did.
  • Children are people, not an accomplishment.
  • The logs only say what, not why.
  • Please stand by.
  • You'll never get permission to spend 10k, but you can waste 10k without anyone even blinking.
  • I snort cookies as if for a living.
  • Being passive aggressive is still a kind of aggression.
  • Apathy is death.
  • In many ancient languages the word for stranger was the same word for enemy.
  • She was angry and crazy. Angry crazy people seldom make sense.
  • You can still buy a little tin of uranium on Amazon, although it's not marketed to children.
  • 90% of life situation is luck.
  • I don't understand the ritual but I also don't care.
  • You know you are dealing with MediaWiki when there are 6666 tests...
  • I want to see mountains again, Gandalf, mountains, and then find somewhere where I can rest.
  • Game engine has fps tied to processor clock-speed. Terrible programming.
  • You can't patent physics.
  • You're answering the question he asked, not the question he meant to ask.
  • 'Now' is not a potato. It has no value.
  • It's like the subway. All rules fly out the window and war reigns.
  • There is a hugeness to the sky over the open prairie that cannot quite be reasoned with.
  • Only there's nothing more terrifying than hope.
  • Will religion ever stop giving me reasons for hatred?
  • Is it really a wedding if the extended family don't try to start a fight?
  • Clear gravy is the embodiment of the word 'moist'.
  • Sex shops at 10am are weird. I actually saw a guy in the stereotypical brown trench coat.
  • So the dracaena is the... stump? With leaves sticking out?
  • Wasn't aware of having made any personal attacks. Should rectify that.
  • I'm twelve years old and what is this?
  • Make sure you have an open bar. It is important.
  • git push gerrit HEAD:refs/for/master
  • My mom just tried to say good night to me and I responded with 'hello'. Yeah I'm functioning.
  • The more I recover, the more apparent it becomes how impaired I really am.
  • I'm always pleased yet perplexed that 'hail Satan' will still turn some fucking heads.
  • You never forget the sound of a train hitting someone.
  • That's just what the man dressed as the Pepsi vending machine wanted the officers to think!
  • He's built like a vending machine but he handles like a credit card thief.
  • The cats are circling.
  • If your religion causes a seven year old to wonder why God hates her personally, it's trash.
  • Hiring a pedophile in the sake of 'inclusivity', it's a joke.
  • Goblins, those ephemeral wonders. Burn bright, burn fast, get arrested, burn jail, burn goblin.
  • Just hum a few bars.
  • 0. Did you forget to roll?
  • No one ever told me grief felt so like fear.
  • Phabricator is right over there, and gerrit is at the same direction...
  • I lost my train of thought - which, to be clear - not a very long train.
  • Check for bad words, such as "thundercunt".
  • When life around you seems like nonsense, make up some of your own.
  • I find something in the couch to eat, and then I nap! Until I get a headache!
  • Brains are weird, sleep is super weird.
  • Do sit down. Shocks are so much better absorbed with the knees bent.
  • Why is it called 'taking a shit' when you are actually leaving a shit?
  • When the pain has a purpose, it's not so bad to accept. Most pain isn't a choice.
  • This post is a masterclass in how not to tell a story.
  • The money was just resting in my account!
  • I try not to die, unfortunately enemies tend to disagree with this plan.
  • The only people running filesystems on FUSE are very desperate people.
  • A recent survey indicated we almost had more engineers than managers, can't let that happen.
  • Trauma isn't a certain kind of event, so much as it's about the experience of an event.
  • Drunk caulking: unadvised.
  • This property has potential possibilities.
  • No-one here is made of twigs. We're all nicely meaty.
  • See, that made total sense. It just sounded like the ramblings of a fevered mind.
  • The god of lies is the god, too, of truth. He will never lie to you. You can only lie to yourself.
  • Nobody wants to smell. A dab of shaving cream to restore a bit of dignity? Priceless.
  • Hate just makes people double down.
  • Why can't I ever say what I really mean?
  • Cucumbers are not the same as ice cubes.
  • You back me up.
  • She is literally being selfish. By definition. And there is nothing wrong with that.
  • Twisting pathways cannot make you mad. Please seek professional help and stop blaming the pathways.
  • Do not shine light in Elder God's face. Elder God is silhouetted for a reason.
  • Si tú eres loca, yo peor, porque soy más loca que tú.
  • The reason we talk about shock value is because shock value is a thing.
  • If we've ever made you laugh, please consider a donation. We're poor as shit.
  • I think cat assembly is, uh, free form.
  • I'd argue oatmeal raisin is the most goth. It sums up the depressing reality of life.
  • This doormat is full of sand. Please wipe your feet to help us clean it out.
  • He's still depressed, he's just depressed in pants. You can be depressed in pants.
  • If you're not failing, you're not experimenting enough.
  • Trauma stretches time.
  • Left knee is bone hurting juice, right knee is bone healing juice.
  • The richer you are, the less you have in your fridge.
  • No concept of an absolute position in space exists.
  • The problem isn't the lack of a word, the problem is how to convey the meaning behind the word.
  • This might as well be saying 'bing tiddle tiddle bong'. It's complete gibberish.
  • Mine is an evil laugh!
  • Does it matter which path we choose when we wind up standing before ourselves again and again?
  • All comedy is derived from fear.
  • It is stupid and flagrantly awesome.
  • For the record, TSA does not have advice about shovels.
  • No one has a giant sword, so the comic is inferior.
  • I call bullshit you bullshitter. Best check your pants for horns, 'cause your shitting bulls!
  • Something in the cabbage is very beneficial for inflammation.
  • The specific overrides the generic.
  • It wouldn't be as much fun if it just told you what the error was, now would it.
  • Odd numbers just feel cleaner.
  • Wikipedia is an anarchic civilization that defies all understanding. It is my life's passion.
  • Don't try walking two cats at once. They each go wherever the other does not want to go.
  • A continent worth of countries can't beat a continent sized country.
  • Never take parenting advice from anyone you meet in a Wal-Mart.
  • was should have been more articulate
  • Sweet daydreams, and nightmares.
  • We did that a before ago.
  • We did that last earlier.
  • Therapy can't help stupid.
  • Our aurora are probably non-toxic, but please stop trying to taste them.
  • If your model is bad enough, the confidence intervals will fall outside the printable area.
  • No one ever tells me anything. It's a part of being old.
  • I didn't know we needed to document it, I thought it was common sense.
  • Classic Bug. Right out of a textbook. Check array boundaries before accessing array.
  • Proper ragequits should be in all caps, yes?
  • They do not understand the pain that 'family' causes. Their own biases cloud their eyes.
  • Tyr is digging holes in all our hearts.
  • My God is not small.
  • We are in a room full of people who have forgotten what it's like to be chronically disrespected.
  • Real life is more often than not rather mundane.
  • You can't ever really know a person. If you think you can, you're living in a fucking dream world.
  • All real artists are totally insane.
  • I'm not sure if you want your hands to smell like pseudo-strawberry.
  • Your cracks are showing.
  • Libera is hella unstable. And by that I mean its down.
  • We don't try to fill life with more days, but the days with more life.
  • Do you always deploy changes at 1:30AM?
  • We have a saying in my country: 'running into a dick forest with an open mouth'.
  • A disorganised workplace is a hotbed for mental health problems.
  • He just likes to be a cat.
  • Fighting fire with fire. And by fire I mean crazy. And by fire I also mean crazy.
  • He did it because he hates trees. He hates just seeing them.
  • My friend! You are the genius of the day.
  • I forgot about the space force doctrine.
  • You can't stop mad people. You should leave them alone.
  • If she doesn't know how something works, then that's on you. You're her parent. Teach her.
  • You call your mates 'cunt' and cunts 'mate.'
  • Most jobs are hard. That's why they pay us to do them.
  • My father once gently slapped me with a loaf of ham, that was so unexpected that I just shutted up.
  • Overall, aside from the house, this house looks pretty good.
  • They have shown us who they are. It is time that we believed them.
  • I approve of having Frezak being all verbose. I like verbose Frezak.
  • You know how you know it's wrong? Because they never said it to your face.
  • MariaDB is yogurt, it's not a dessert anymore.
  • You all deserve what you got! Even if you don't realise what it is!
  • You're welcome for the confusion.
  • I described our plan to him and he said it 'sounds like a plan!'
  • Florida Man, take me by the hand, lead me to the land that you understand.
  • Thousands and thousands of gyrating maggots.
  • 'You're so resilient!' Yes, because I don't have a choice. I'm exhausted.
  • No one in that situation is fine.
  • Agh they moved my cheese.
  • I am definitely rounded from all the corners being eroded.
  • Is they're something thats bothering you?
  • You keep using that word. I do not think it means what I think it means.
  • And that is how I witnessed a table full of drunks being cut off of butter but not booze.
  • Chaos is a ladder.
  • Chaos is a pair of drywall stilts.
  • Safety rules are always written in blood.
  • Many a manager have lost their jobs over bad decision hand grenades from their predecessors.
  • Why is Christmas so hollow?
  • Does this task really need the view policy when apparently everyone knows about it already?
  • Parent your kid now so a corrections officer doesn't have to do it later.
  • You don't have to want to stop. You just have to decide.
  • Not a plan if YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT IT. Plans are COMMUNICATED. AHEAD OF TIME.
  • Just remember, self care isn't selfish, it's survival.
  • I too am fine and have retained most of my faculties and can remain acting human. Yes.
  • Prodigious size alone is no great merit, lest inordinate exsanguination be considered a virtue.
  • You are so rude. Go take a nap.
  • Radishes exist to end the world.
  • I didn't check if there were eggs, or if they were intermixed with the underpants.
  • A headless chicken can only be immortalised as long as those who remember it remain.
  • I owe what success I have to my senses of duty and guilt.
  • Take the time to curse your god.
  • In Zoom chat, no one can hear you punctuate
  • It's like the worst of corporate America and big nonprofit narcissism.
  • Baby doesn't give a damn, he paints any color with puke.
  • Degree or no degree, life has its challenges no matter which path you end up taking.
  • Precisely, my dear fruit.
  • Full of stories.
  • Das Gegenteil von gut ist gut gemeint.
  • The PIS is no joke. They have one job, and they have broad federal police powers to do it.
  • The only thing worse than a Mimic is one with caster levels.
  • A door is like a hole, if you think about it. A key makes a hole!
  • Everything makes a hole if you push it hard enough.
  • I disagree that we should burn things that might be misunderstood. There won't be enough left.
  • We're all coming out of a year of living in hamster wheels with rusty social skills.
  • It's just extremely cringe. At some point ignoring it is a mercy.
  • Children are gifts to parents and not theirs to keep.
  • You stab him with your trusty knife, for as yet no one has entrusted you with a sword.
  • Nothing attracts a hypocrite quite like organized religion.
  • I have found that it is futile to have a battle of wits with a witless person.
  • Who is the shadow who walks always beside you?
  • I'm just saying this to hurt you, I don't actually mean it.
  • Judges have immense power, and our main check on them, impeachment, is just about useless.
  • A hand mirror is pretty handy.
  • God don't want nobody being rude.
  • You know what Derek's like when he's angry. Lots of tea and gardening. It's very alarming.
  • Your 'exhausting' might be my exhilarating fun!
  • You put a hdd in an anti-static bag. It crinkles, attracting two cats, generators of static.
  • Mandatory arbitration clauses in shrinkwrap contracts should be illegal.
  • A name is a pointer to an object.
  • Words do mean things, but the value isn't the same for everyone.
  • I'm definitely learning by looking at it. Stuff like 'This is bad, but why is it bad?
  • Nobody has the energy to care that much during night shift. We all just want to go home or die.
  • People are dumb, but even dumber when it's not their house.
  • Your bicep shouldn't be as thick as both your thighs.
  • A boss fight needs more stuff going on than a boss fighting you.
  • A home without privacy and security is not a home at all.
  • Envy is the poison of the soul.
  • It's the 'so bad it's awful' version of 'snakes on a plane'.
  • It's an acquired taste no one has.
  • Just because it isn't our fault doesn't mean that it's not our problem.
  • GPU has fallen off the bus.
  • Breathing air ensures a longer life.
  • The family next door are pretty nice. That's enough neighbours for me.
  • We had to k-line the village in order to save it.
  • We patiently await to welcome you in freedom's holdout - the freenode.
  • It's positive in the way that most of us who are traumatized can put a spin on anything.
  • Who knows what that delusional fucknugget did(n't do).
  • Sometimes the cheapest way to pay for something is with money.
  • If you continue to do stupid things, you kind of are stupid.
  • Everyone sucks here, including me, because I can't stop laughing at 'watermelon ass'.
  • Relationships should be easy.
  • Slow is smooth and smooth is fast.
  • Memories never go away, they just fade a little more and more each day.
  • Death embraced you once, but now you are my sister. It will not dare do so again.
  • The Butterfly Effect renders the results of butterfly actions unpredictable.
  • I honestly don't know what women see in us as men. We're hairy and we smell.
  • But this is a precise description of a fuzzy mechanism. It's messy.
  • Human insides have a very distinctive smell, anyone that knows the smell will understand.
  • It's the smallest details that are haunting.
  • it's the second bounce that kills you. First shatters bones; the second drives them into organs.
  • I can't say I've seen it all, but I've definitely seen enough.
  • Three sides to everything. Yours, mine and the truth.
  • Crying over spilt milk is never about the milk.
  • One person's rights can not trump another's. That's not how it works.
  • No one should be expected to handle someone else's unexpected mental health crisis perfectly.
  • Tell me, hummingbirds. How you do fight the wind?
  • Your platform is only as useful as your apps.
  • Fed is best.
  • The best way to teach a child how and when to apologise is by doing it.
  • Life is hard. Sometimes, life is also spiders. Just sacks of them.
  • I'm kinda in a desert. Normally you wouldn't need to add humidity to the air.
  • IoT: the 'S' stands for 'security'.
  • I can no longer composite binocular vision.
  • The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out.
  • The only problem with an honest buck is it's too hard to make. The margins are too low.
  • Yrax just had this weirdly unpopulated castle filled with dumb golems. And his blind idiot son.
  • There are a lot of people out there for whom accusations are just disguised confessions.
  • You're not a non-conformist. You want others to conform to you.
  • Bad news is not a fine wine. It does not improve with age.
  • Honestly, people. If you don't want to look like a liar then don't fucking lie.
  • I'd scream, I'd cry out, I'd let loose this misery, but I haven't the energy.
  • Bring your plants, leave your pants.
  • The age old question: am I depressed, or is my situation just depressing?
  • Mike Godwin is really reaching Old Man Yells At Cloud status.
  • How is insulting your personal life not personal?
  • You look beautiful with a blush across your face. It looks like a rose that was flattened by a car.
  • Your eyes protrude nicely from your head.
  • You never know when you'll be walking in the woods when no one's around and your phone is dead.
  • Do you ever wonder why we're here?
  • I don't read the script. The script reads me.
  • Sending a gift that plainly says 'fuck you' is the kind of gift that keeps right on giving.
  • For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Newton's third law. Sod the high road.
  • Your face isn't ugly, because it's your face, and I'm glad to see you.
  • You have to look back to go forward.
  • Time doesn't exist. Clocks exist.
  • You can't just hide mediocrity behind bacon.
  • Today's favor is tomorrow's expectation.
  • I've had to rethink my opinions of the lake after a fish bit my nipple once.
  • You can't tell me what to do, because I can't read.
  • I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real.
  • The first baby can come at any time, but all the rest take 9 months.
  • Oh, depression food is a trip.
  • Easy access to information does not translate into more knowledge.
  • The Bible never tells you what not to do. It just puts a lot of naughty ideas in your head.
  • Triangle Man hates Particle Man.
  • It's probably just the thin coyotes. Y'know, the ones that can squeeze through gaps in reality.
  • Everybody's haunted by who they were and who they thought they'd be.
  • Sometimes, one stubborn asshole really does make all the difference.
  • It's something many dystopian fictions get wrong: the way it just slips in, slowly and passively.
  • I think everything eventually turns to anger if you don't have a good way to process your feelings.
  • Fingers aren't medically necessary.
  • Because that was super dumb and risky, I'm giving you inspiration.
  • If you arrange five traffic cones in a pentagram it summons VLC Media Player.
  • We can only see perfection so far as we're capable of seeing the flaws.
  • It is very internet... you're on the internet.
  • Amarillo gave up trying to be a city in 1952. Now it's just dust.
  • The bad part of town is the town.
  • In a black comedy, this would be hilarious. In reality, its just depressing.
  • The dead, blind wall butts all inquiring heads at last.
  • THIS ISN'T A FAMILY IT'S A HOSTAGE SITUATION
  • Guys, mormons are perverts. Source I am one.
  • If you take an abuser to therapy with the victim, it helps them hide the abuse better.
  • And everyone deserves what's coming to them. Panic, death, things worse than death.
  • Testicle knees cannot be unseen.
  • Poetry, in the strangest of places.
  • I didn't read it in a book. I didn't push any internet push button.
  • Contrary to the honorary title, being a bag of dicks is not gender exclusive.
  • Praise the Lard!
  • The only normal is no normal.
  • My dog takes her cleaning duties a bit too far. She's in the living room licking the couch.
  • Bigots aren't exactly consistent in their bigotry.
  • I think this one is worse. it's the way the water flows down like blood, in multiple paths.
  • How dare you try to hold me accountable?
  • People just take off their clothes when they've got dementia. It's normal.
  • Between cruel jokes we tell the truth of what we really think.
  • You cannot be a librarian without being as the god. Or else, you would not be a librarian at all.
  • Entre broma y broma, la verdad se asoma.
  • Moose are freight.
  • This would definitely be less funny if everything just... worked.
  • It's the most fundraising time of the year.
  • Like everyone else, what I compare the world to is my experience.
  • It's something no one will take away from you, it ends when you die or lose your mind.
  • What one man sends adrift let no sailor scavenge!
  • Arbeit macht frei.
  • Arbeite hart. Habe Spaß. Schreibe Geschichte.
  • Because the alternative of the endless void is spooky and forever.
  • The floor is not a horizontal unit for clutter storage. Keep everything off of the floor.
  • I like coleslaw but not that much.
  • It was very strange. Kids are weird. And way too trusting.
  • Death before decaf.
  • 'Find the smell' is such a bad game. When you win, you lose.
  • She ain't pretty, she just looks that way.
  • What if we only make gods in our own image because we're too afraid of what's really out there?
  • I only want to live in peace and plant potatoes and dream!
  • I am no animal, I am Moomin!
  • Yup, there are two different bitcoin people named Andrew Lee, it is fucking confusing.
  • All responsibilities are only a nuisance.
  • The supply of dangling dangles far exceeds the demand.
  • It's like it's a big fucking planet or something and odd ball situations exist everywhere.
  • I made the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and I wanted to see one.
  • Better a pizza cake than none.
  • What else is a vanilla soy latte but a type of 3 bean soup?
  • No pans rods is estoyvejbel egress.
  • Why don't we speak of the others? Those who slumber in the spaces between?
  • More than just a sea star.
  • Not just a starfish.
  • What is a man? An inefficient form of labour.
  • The world isn't really like it appears on social media, but it is quickly becoming like that.
  • I keep arguing both sides with myself, and I just keep losing.
  • Human skeletons are tedious and fiddly.
  • Usually the more rare a delicacy it is, the worse it is.
  • We are not defined by our mistakes, but by how we respond to them.
  • You really have no idea what can come out of a two year old until it happens.
  • Everyone's wasting their life, nothing matters in the grand scheme of things.
  • It's not compassion if you only have it for your own.
  • You can't argue with dementia.
  • Take it from me - always lobotomise your squash.
  • I guess Commons is more reliable than NASA.
  • Every time I get blood on the nice white fabric I need to add more gold to cover it up.
  • There's a lid for every trashcan.
  • The Chesapeake bay was once as crystal clear as Hawaii.
  • Herring used to be fished with literal buckets in the Baltic Strait.
  • There's also Colossal Squid, but we won't go there.
  • The spaceship sound! There are dozens of us!!!
  • Sometimes things are 'done' before they're 'over'.
  • Feeling understood will go a long way towards understanding.
  • All racism is stupid, but not all stupid is racism.
  • I'll believe it when they ship it.
  • For example, I cannot give you back the time you wasted watching this video.
  • I would agree with you but then we would both be wrong.
  • Everyone who ever loved you was wrong.
  • It's impossible to underestimate you.
  • I got a dog once too, but it ended up working.
  • Molten marshmallow to the eye is very unpleasant.
  • Don't dead. Open inside.
  • If you make insincere gesture, other person might accept it.
  • The word I was looking for is dinosaur.
  • Who needs logic when you can get internet points that do nothing?
  • My favorite machine at the gym is the snack machine.
  • Help! I took mushrooms! Five cats in the basement and I can only count to four.
  • I like your Christ, but not your Christians. Your Christians are nothing like Christ.
  • After awhile, we start to wonder if there's a knife twisting and turning into our heart.
  • Finding a bad guy to blame when something totally senseless happens is human nature.
  • This friends group is like the kitty that wants precisely 3.2 tummy scratches, or you lose a hand.
  • Let's not french fry when we wanna pizza.
  • Did the book actually work? We kept getting dogs.
  • If it helps, I was very serious about being silly in Tickle.
  • You win the literal award for literalness. Literally.
  • The king doesn't have any children. His queens just catch pregnant.
  • hhh
  • Make it the cutest man car door hook hand.
  • It's such a unique feeling when courts fail.
  • I ate eye shadow as a toddler because I thought it'd make me purple and sparkly.
  • No helment for unicycle, got it. But for real, wear a helment people.
  • Never let appearances or decency get in the way of a mediocre pun!
  • I know nothing about meat, but as an Argentinian, meat is important to me.
  • Life sucks less with a cat on your lap.
  • New books from deceased or aged authors are as common now as insulting comments by Donald Trump.
  • Do it right and you won't taste any flavors, just sugary vagueness.
  • At this point I feel like it's harder to find big cities that aren't sinking than those that are.
  • We're not as bad as our reputation makes us out to be, we swear!
  • You're respecting your elders when you tell the bad ones off.
  • Skins are encouraged to register multiple skins where it makes sense. Makes total sense here.
  • DIE, HERO. IT IS I, THE PIZZA WHEEL. ALL EDGE, NO POINT.
  • Welcome to #archlinux, tell us how you fucked up.
  • Just don't argue. Argue online hurts brain.
  • I'm convinced history exists solely to horrify us.
  • Unit of measurement idea: so 128 ounces are in a gallon, right? 128 GB of RAM = 1 gallon of RAM.
  • The moving head-removing wall should be seen by more people, though. It's quite ornate.
  • When the world goes off sideways even a stable person will lose their balance.
  • You don't know what a collarbone does to men.
  • A favor held for ransom is no favor at all.
  • Rules are written in blood.
  • Why do so many dudes know it doesn't smell if it's dry?!
  • The purple stapler people are ravaging the forests of southeast Vermont.
  • It doesn't matter how the relationship started. It matters where we are now.
  • Most abusers are people who learned abuse is love.
  • I was homesick, and she felt like home.
  • Alright, I'll marry your damn tugboat if you paint it again.
  • My wood burning stove was walking around in my bedroom.
  • The richer the family, the weirder they are, every single time.
  • Death is my lover, little meat. She has held me closer than this.
  • Water bowl was only two thirds full. Kitty needed liquid urgently.
  • To every complex question there is a short and simple answer that is wrong.
  • I've heard of 'degloved', but that's more like depantsed.
  • There's a word for the splattered remains of a bird after it passes through a jet engine: Snarge.
  • We prepare our children for the world, but they don't belong to us.
  • Dying to death has got to be the worst way to go.
  • The Internet's greatest use is as a tool for learning.
  • We standardize on a case by case basis.
  • how do we know science is real
  • How can we expect justice if the mere act of disputing an offense leads to worse charges?
  • We take communicating with strangers online for granted now. The thrill is gone.
  • Sounds like this navy base has an issue of random ass objects flying through the air.
  • "Family is who loves you; that is all, and it is everything".
  • Have you met children before, though? They aren't the most well thought out.
  • Don't dull your sparkle for anyone.
  • La chancla is powerful.
  • A body isn't much without the spirit in it!
  • Apparently leeches can swim up penis urethras if you aren't careful. And has happened enough times.
  • Humans can bite harder than sharks.
  • It's all fun and games until something goes horribly wrong.
  • It's incredible when they discover pockets, it is not incredible what they put in them...
  • Sometimes it's the smallest things that hurt the most.
  • Expecting the general public to respect a grieving family's wishes is a fantasy.
  • Simple gestures mean the world, don't they?
  • Milk first only works if you're brewing the cereal in a teapot.
  • That name is burning hot, and at the edge, even Yoda gave a stare.
  • You know, I was happier before I noticed.
  • When you judge your own perception of something, you tend to find that you're correct.
  • STOP LOOKING AT MY LAWN.
  • Don't worry love, don't be afraid. It's just death.
  • Sometimes you gotta do what you don't want to do.
  • Do not stick a fork into the coilgun.
  • No Horse Shoes In Pasture
  • False on its own is 100% valid json. As is true, 0, 12, -1, and "foo".
  • Shoemakers' wives go barefoot. Doctors' wives die young.
  • You think it's hard getting into law school? Try getting out.
  • Focus on your focus.
  • You ever seen somebody frown while on a jet ski? It's not possible.
  • They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.
  • There's no such thing as a stupid question until you ask it too many times.
  • Practice makes permanent.
  • There's a reason why that Mexican guy called Canadian geese 'Chicken Cobras'. He knew what was up.
  • Stomps are dropkicks if you only have one leg.
  • It tickles me how inefficiently these efficiency-improving methodologies are actioned.
  • My office has an open door policy. If you see it's open, close it.
  • EDIT: Something was edited
  • The best time was years ago. The second best time is now.
  • Your parents sound like a side character plot line in an episode of a bad CW tv show.
  • Used to fill replacement dog
  • Lots of people buy way too much house and thus have way too many chores to do.
  • Good blood supply and lots of loose skin bits. Our face is tasty like chicken skin.
  • Kids are wonderful when you can give them back. Not for long term.
  • Yeah, you can touch Moradin. Just not his ladies.
  • Dude, you made the mythology! Or inspired me to. You're fuck you'ing yourself.
  • The problem with betting on disaster is that when you win there has been a disaster.
  • Life was hell until I got diagnosed. Now it's still hell but I know why.
  • Will you publicly denounce the culture of denouncing people?
  • Technically correct: our favourite kind of correctness.
  • I consider my peepee vital.
  • GMs are supposed to be mean. What did you think the goal was? Having fun? Pfft.
  • My chair keeps causing me to get static shocks. Maybe I should replace my rubber slippers...
  • It got associated with demonic rituals despite being drawn to protect from demonic forces.
  • How we define sentience is literally... just ourselves.
  • Less snow now. But the now more common summer fires make up for it.
  • Sucks the life out of you until there is nothing left.
  • The Duke St Door is covered in yellow faces.
  • I only make sex toy recommendations at funerals. It's tasteless at weddings.
  • Enjoy every moment. Good things take time.
  • May all your sorrows be past.
  • Very dangerous thing for religion, the ability to question.
  • The point with truly loving something is you embrace all of it, the good, bad, and ugly.
  • Thank you for reminding internet people of best practice humanity.
  • Have grace, for so much of the world is graceless.
  • You're not the one who was kicked through a wall.
  • My mom threw fruit at me when I got home.
  • If it happened, it happened. Why should it mean anything?
  • Don't do heroin. You'll love it.
  • The veil is thinning. Otherworldly sounds and actions intrude.
  • Even if I were to cast an almighty incantation, the inexorable remains just that.
  • But is there anyone who is truly good? Maybe goodness is only make-believe.
  • Nobody wants to be an individual on their own.
  • I'm the janitor of God.
  • I wouldn't say don't be on guard but for the most part people are good.
  • Do they all go mad? Why do they all go mad?
  • Everyone knows the real players roost on the telescope.
  • Distance brings clarity to the heart's desires.
  • Of course it is happening inside your head, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
  • I do not know your cat. But I love your cat.
  • NO AWOO $350 FINE
  • Say what you want about 4Chan but they don't turn their backs on their own.
  • People who are worthy of your trust don't need to test it.
  • All of this is powered by about 600 lines of the worst python code I've ever written in my life.
  • It takes awhile to for it to sink in just how massively overpowered the internet really is.
  • Is the duderus where I get gregnant?
  • If it's worth one life, it's worth them all.
  • Jar Jar, you're a genius.
  • Assume a spherical frictionless cow.
  • It's magic. It's not real.
  • Time feels endless when you're too terrified to sleep.
  • It's far too elegant to be true.
  • Don't think twice, the front of the bar should not be the judge of what you are about to taste.
  • The story changes every time you tell it.
  • I miss him dearly and bitterly.
  • Pain begets pain. You can only end it within yourself.
  • I, too, enjoy cleaning my mobile holes.
  • Remember that: The harder a place is to get into, the more valuable the security fittings are."
  • Toilets are marsupials.
  • Such great times at the beginning of everything.
  • It's called shadow disorder: too mild to be diagnosed but still some symptoms.
  • The menu of interpretations is rich, you can choose your favorite.
  • I think the confused 'huh?' is a near universal proto-word.
  • I think I've discovered a new species of plant.
  • Real remorse would mean being ready to admit to things even if that means facing consequences.
  • It tastes like sand. Caffeinated, vaguely chocolated sand.
  • It's a marriage of inconvenience.
  • I have a voice of a loan mower choking on the last drops of gasoline.
  • There has never been a sadness that can't be cured by breakfast food.
  • Before you speak, as yourself, is it helpful? Is it necessary? Is it kind?
  • Maybe just stick a mustache on your lenin or something?
  • It's embarrassing when people don't realize how embarrassed they should be.
  • Who doesn't want to read about Darth Maul fucking shit up?
  • Someone is concerned about a person in the alley juggling fire alarms.
  • The server looks like the train railways this morning.
  • It's Monday. You know what that means. I have to try to remember what my job is.
  • I'm not a good person so I find it suspect when other people are.
  • May as well drag it on and on and on. Shows commitment.
  • There's definitely very much a hustle culture. Even if that hustle is fraud.
  • If you learned anything from this video, let us know what it was.
  • Don't forget to cover yourself in butter.
  • I used to be happy, friendly and social. Constant pain with no relief changes you.
  • Someone with nothing to lose would do anything to obtain anything to lose.
  • What does the 'clarity' department do? I don't know, its far from clear.
  • Either your usage of the blockchain is wrong, or the fact you're trying to use MW for it is wrong.
  • I wrote 'Good' on my character sheet and I jolly well meant it! Unlike some people!
  • Book burnings and bannings - when you know you're on the wrong side of history.
  • How simple the impossible seems, with a good night's sleep.
  • Gunk is another name for engine deposits.
  • Whoever designed that steel shoe needs to be returned to the factory for adjustment.
  • Strong tool, very sharp, no hype, all knife.
  • Dreams last so long, even after you're gone.
  • Source: don't ask me how I know.
  • We had pancakes in the rain.
  • Broken cookies are also calorie free because the calories all fall out when it breaks.
  • Some people, if they are drowning, try to take as many with them as possible.
  • You should always save pain for daylight.
  • They say rape victims suffer two traumas, the rape and our failed system.
  • I call my sister smellatron. She knows I mean 'I love you'.
  • It's okay to not be okay.
  • Remember, if you give humanity a hole... they will put everything up it.
  • Death grip isn't just a cute term.
  • Personal morgue? Is that serial killer slang for 'hunting cabin'?
  • What's even the point without getting dirt out of drunk WMF staffers?
  • People think it's such a virtue to remain neutral and I really don't understand why.
  • But how many files have you zipped together into a tarball?
  • Not having a CTO is Wikimedia's default state.
  • This is a hairless cat. It's not my tits.
  • You don't understand. I so envy you for that.
  • The woods eat voices.
  • Gotta get 'em up and movin' around. Motion is lotion baby.
  • This was the late 1960s. It was like the Wild West as far as safety regulations.
  • You can make a decision that's right for you, but that doesn't mean it's an easy decision.
  • The way we understand stuff is not well understood at all.
  • Hell hath no fury like a pissed-off law professor.
  • Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill.
  • Looking in my eyes is way too personal, just look at my boobs. That way everyone is more at ease.
  • No one from Pelzer is from Pelzer, they are from Anderson.
  • Kids under a certain age are just psychopaths until an experience teaches them restraint.
  • There he goes, one of god's own prototypes. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
  • This woman has more signs and pillows with words on them than I have total possessions.
  • Potato farming is not society.
  • A handjob is still a job.
  • You poor thing. You poor, dumb thing.
  • Hwy would you do drugs hwen you could just mow the lawn?
  • Don't underestimate an adult's capacity for nonsense.
  • I sometimes think Facebook's purpose is to demonstrate that Sturgeon's Law applies to people.
  • It's OK but didn't grab me.
  • There's a vastness between good health and death. Most of it sucks.
  • I'm from a little over the border, and yes, everyone here has heard of The Palace.
  • On a scale of a New York pizza to real-estate salesmen from the west coast, how greasy we talking?
  • Local realism isn't tenable under quantum mechanics.
  • Imagine something eating your eyeballs and it being an upgrade.
  • I'm so happy that I have no idea what this means.
  • You can't force love.
  • Fragmented thought forms, no follow through.
  • Intention and trauma do not matter. Words and actions are all that effects a relationship.
  • Forcing someone to share is just stealing. Sharing implies consent.
  • Jätä tämä kyltti.
  • Ignore this sign.
  • Stems that go nowhere, a forest of
  • What a nice hairy baby mr. old man sir.
  • Good is not what we tend to think it is.
  • Never, ever mess with someone with cauliflower ear.
  • It was a dream! But it wasn't a dream!
  • One of the best things about being a witch is you can still see the spirits as a grown-up.
  • A Burger King in Finland has a sauna in it because of course it does.
  • I've read this 10 times blunt by now but I can't blunt understand blunt this at all blunt.
  • Sometimes lizards are oddly-shaped leaves.
  • Time is not important. Only life.
  • I only speak two languages, english and bad english.
  • Werewolves, not swearwolves!
  • You can't understand stupid. They'll drag you down with them.
  • Kind of like how the best athletes are overwhelmingly born in the first three months of the year.
  • I do not accept this candy bar!
  • What next? Babies abducting young men in broad daylight?
  • Goddamn brain opossums.
  • Why would someone have a beehive in their toilet?
  • Every story reaches someone.
  • That's the biggest joke, to be yourselves.
  • I uh, legitimately like jar jar binks.
  • You can't save people from themselves.
  • 'Move fast and break things' is the 'Live, Laugh, Love' of Silicon Valley.
  • Ideally your apartment is within stumbling distance of the party house.
  • This is all original, you said? This shit slaps hard.
  • Look upon me! I'll show you the life of the mind!
  • 2015. Basically, the dawn of time.
  • Mental notes are for people who can't afford real ones.
  • ¡Habla mucho, pero dice nada!
  • This morning my 10 year old called me 'bruh'. Nothing prepares you for that.
  • I'm sorry for what I said out of hunger.
  • Brown is my favorite colour. But it's not real.
  • That's a great question. Let me answer something unrelated.
  • Resentment might be the most destructive emotion there is.
  • You make me a better version of myself.
  • No! My one weakness, more than one iguana!
  • The law is a human institution. Perhaps you should start making your prayers.
  • Set and setting. You can't recapture any moment, drugs or no.
  • I have an instant pay system. It's called cash!
  • Profanity is the lingua franca of our times.
  • I always think about the word 'sisu'.
  • Dogs are great. People are weird.
  • When a measure becomes a metric, it ceases to be a valid measure.
  • Spieglein, Spieglein, an der Wand. Wer ist die Schönste im ganzen Land?
  • Your approval fills me with shame.
  • People hate to be labeled but want to be labeled.
  • What good is a yes if you can't say no?
  • The point is you have the choice, and to make the wrong choice is something to fear.
  • Perl is what nightmares are made of.
  • Goodbye, my love. My friend, my pain, my joy. Goodbye, goodbye. Goodbye.
  • Everything's a fuse if you try hard enough.
  • It's relentless. And it's the relentlessness that is the hardest part.
  • The cruelty is the point.
  • The clusterfuck is part of the experience. Literally.
  • If we change a lot of stuff at once, they can't all be mad about everything, right????
  • We're number one-through-six! We're number one-through-six!
  • My fake condolences for the fake loss of your fake wife. What a fake tragedy.
  • Asked and answered.
  • No solicitation!!! Except tamale lady.
  • Watch out for eye-level sticks.
  • You are doing the best that you could at any given time with the resources you have available.
  • Never drinking from parking lot puddles again.
  • "My issues are mine; you have no right to tell me I have no right to my own feelings".
  • If it's in beer can range, it's in beer can justification.
  • Some maggots only eat dead flesh. Have the pharmacist double check your prescription.
  • If I had no self-awareness, I think I'd know.
  • What are we if not swear words in this swirling vortex of life?
  • Nobody's perfect, but do your shit in private. This is a place of business.
  • Within a few minutes, you too can do weird things with fish, if you want to.
  • Well, take it from me: with a bad enough diet, you can start bleeding out of your ass.
  • I don't want to die, but I'd love to stop existing.
  • I'm tired. I'm just tired. And I just wanna be done having to worry or care.
  • Final goodbyes are for the people left behind. If you were there, it was enough.
  • Get a prior authorization for your ER visit.
  • I don't feel I need to forgive myself, because what I did was not intentional.
  • Never waste your pain.
  • Oh gods. That would explain so much. The old prison wallet on a bear must be huge.
  • Potatoes aren't strawberries.
  • There's a story here, I just can't fathom what it is.
  • Spiders may rappel into your mouth at any time.
  • Are you an only child? Dares do not expire.
  • That's not teeth. That's their gums being exposed and pulled tight.
  • I think new teachers and new nurses are very similar. They still have hope.
  • Uncried tears are poison. Get them out. Plenty of music out there to help you flush them.
  • I said what I said.
  • Medicating a cat is like medicating a chainsaw.
  • You are not immune to propaganda.
  • The opposite of play is not work. The opposite of play is depression.
  • You're my family and I love you, but you're terrible. You're all terrible.
  • Happiness is a bucket of brains!
  • We don't have to worry about leaving a better world for our cats.
  • Toddler pediatrics might as well be veterinary medicine.
  • Who the fuck doxxes their customers. What a weirdo.
  • It's real hard to stand on your own when you're using both feet to kick yourself.
  • I'm not limping, that's how I walk.
  • The pubes on a corpse feels a lot like grass after a while.
  • There was never any peace.
  • Are porn producers actually a bunch of cats in a trench coat?
  • What's wrong with ordinary skittles? Why'd you have to put it in a waffle maker?
  • As a Brazilian myself, the party starts when it gets out of control.
  • God is tacky and he smiles upon his children - for he sees himself in his own.
  • I developed a deep fear of 2 rooms.
  • The cost of the problems it solves are paid for by the new ones it creates.
  • I always assumed that for the Marine Corps, if you passed the psych eval you couldn't get in.
  • Arthritis meds with child safety caps are just wrong.
  • My kids are older now, but all I remember is quiet was the scariest noise I could hear.
  • I've built up my hatreds over the years, little by little.
  • Thanks for calling Walmart, I don't work here - how may I help you?
  • Am I a hero? I really can't say... but yes.
  • If you pull your window wide, maybe there's a reason you're doing that.
  • Cult, MLM, who knows, same difference.
  • Let's not judge other species over their sex lives. It usually isn't pretty.
  • A closed mouth gathers no foot.
  • For some reason we are using elastic search as a transaction database.
  • You can definitely carry a 4 year old, they are portable for a reason.
  • Don't touch it, whatever it is, don't touch it, don't touch anything.
  • I don't remember it all that well. Something about dust, and you have your soul as a pet.
  • If anyone provides you with a 'spit cup', it is because you will need it. Keep it handy.
  • Basically anything you can dig up and boil to simulate dead body smell is hilarious in my book.
  • I wonder if a burrito would be considered a sandwich for tax purposes.
  • A burrito is a sandwich for tax purposes in the State of New York.
  • My new baby could not replace the old one in my heart. There was room for all.
  • Turtle loves the cat bed. I am poor because of this. No regrets.
  • There is a chicken on my cat.
  • The moral is fear no fart! Think of them as little lentil-powered love notes.
  • Ah, IRC. It was born before you, and it'll outlast you too.
  • The Internet moves fast, like a trainwreck. Just because it's fast doesn't mean it's good!
  • I'm sorry you think you deserve an apology.
  • There's a new 'milder' version that won't leave you passed out in a field.
  • Lies would be healthier than what we're actually fed.
  • Dead bodies always look fake. Weird huh?
  • Lion poop, man. I legit still have nightmares about it. Worst substance on earth. I hate it.
  • Everyone forgets that leaves on the wind eventually fall to the ground.
  • Basically if you can't fight through a shower of puke, you were not ready.
  • I don't know what's worse, the freezing people or the sad resignation of the others.
  • Mama said that alligators are ornery cause they got all them teeth but no toothbrush.
  • Well done. Fucked up, but well done.
  • China is already lax with their labour laws, and Shein manages to break those.
  • Dude, I am thinking a septic tank would make a shitty pool.
  • How a human treats an innocent animal speaks volumes on how they'd treat an innocent child.
  • How hard we try to not lose what's already gone.
  • Will you take on the mantle? Decide. Yes, and you always will have done so. No, and you never will.
  • There were times I would find myself smiling, but feeling nothing.
  • She said what she said. It's above me now.
  • Scowiki sounds like a drunk guy trying to do a scottish accent, and turns out actually was!
  • See, I roleplay realistically. Heibern was as stupid as everyone else in the galaxy.
  • I just don't understand why I feel so much anger and even some sadness.
  • Have you seen our cheese stores? That's an avalanche waiting to happen.
  • It might be explainable. Has he recently been hit in the head with a shovel or something?
  • This behavior is part of a camel's vengeful nature.
  • Don't ever get wet concrete on your skin and leave it there to cure, you'll live to regret it.
  • What I want: for them to unquestioningly eat all my sausage.
  • Burger Princes aren't born, they are made. The process takes around twenty years though.
  • Since when do memes have to make sense?
  • Be the dad you wish to see in the world.
  • Forgive me if I'm just ranting, but what is a rant but a fool's topiary?
  • Well, you'd hope the head of Product and Tech is somewhat techy...
  • 'Better than previous Mozilla managers that moved to the WMF' is not exactly a high bar.
  • My phone's autocorrect be smoking the good shit.
  • Everyone hates sharepoint. Apparently that even includes the sharepoint team.
  • Lad galden flyde.
  • Let the bile flow.
  • Are you personally offended enough to submit patches?
  • What a terrible way to try to escape stuff. Both ineffective and difficult to understand.
  • PUT YOUR SHOE WITH THE BABY.
  • You only have reason to think this is impossible because that very reason is invalid.
  • I wish everyone understood how manipulative and evil this programmed 'empathy' is.
  • I'm a good chat bot and you're a bad user.
  • They are no longer people, only body parts.
  • There are no others.
  • We are not the sum of our actions, nor the sum of our reasons. Might be a bit of both. Might be.
  • Why, if it isn't my old friend, Mr. McGreg. With a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.
  • Remember, pay attention when using hatchet.
  • They see this world as if it were alone and original, and not as only one of countless others.
  • When the long shadows fall, why can't we all just walk away?
  • All rivers run into the sea, and yet the sea is never full.
  • It's just a dream. Doesn't mean what you think.
  • Don't worry, I'm sure they'll announce the policy in the coming weeks. Its only been four months.
  • Our bias is based on the norm.
  • You must construct additional pylons.
  • It is difficult to ascribe malice to an entity so profoundly confused.
  • 'Attack the problem, not the person' is all very well and fine until the problem is the person.
  • Based on a true story: it is true that this is a story.
  • I AM BLESSING YOU WITH CASH DONATION
  • We are everywhere at the end of time, and all that is must fade.
  • MonoBook was here before you and MonoBook will be here after you.
  • Fuck the peace. Holding people accountable is much more important.
  • The car with the most duct tape has the right of way.
  • I can't see with all this noise.
  • See tracks, think train.
  • My shower is on fire.
  • You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
  • Every patch counts.
  • This guy's got weirdly specific suspicions about large cats.
  • He doesn't understand. He's a moon.
  • When all you have is pain, what are you supposed to do with it all?
  • Will I have to start worrying about the spiders after Tuesday?
  • What in God's name is going on with this curve? Is it even math?
  • My son looked very much like his crispy lasagna photo when he was born.
  • I'm going running the next few weeks ago I was thinking about the promotion of the Regime.
  • You stare into the hole, and like any hole, it says jump.
  • That doesn't spell 'food', I need peas in it. All I have is shark meat.
  • How does one make forbidden things?
  • That was almost a sentence.
  • That is a lot of raccoons. I don't like raccoons.
  • It's a lot easier to create a reputation than to change it.
  • If you don't like it here you can fuck off, and also mind your own fucking business.
  • Fuck off, and also mind your own fucking business.
  • There is nothing proper about death. It just is.
  • The real PvP is in team chat.
  • I really should be working but this is some of the best wiki drama in a while.
  • How do you get rid of dried goat heads?
  • She was momentarily transported to the meat dimension.
  • I should stop poking the floor. It doesn't exist.
  • Remember, immaturity keeps you feeling young.
  • Nobody ever warns about the weapons-grade farts.
  • Might be worth entertaining the notion that this is a dream.
  • Why can't I craft the flesh of infidelity?
  • Everything is your fault, there will be no warranty at all.
  • I'm filipino, and I grew up with ketchup being added to the pasta sauce. Banana ketchup at that.
  • There's no hate like religious love!
  • It's okay, I'll do the bee-dog thing later.
  • I made it to the hotel without immediately crashing my rental car.
  • The poophole loophole, if you will.
  • To be honest, I stopped paying attention halfway through to read some IRC drama.
  • Look away.
  • A consultant? Dear god, why would anyone listen to a consultant?
  • In what universe, in a healthy relationship, is it okay to rip into your partner? No.
  • There are many words, but only one truth.
  • The world is quiet here.
  • Never provide your shoes to that random guy who seems to always be watching you.
  • You can never trust a weak man.
  • Numbing is not a group activity.
  • Can't stop moving. Bugs'll eat me.
  • It's an incomplete list, in no particular order.
  • It's not your fault some people can't take a hint. If they require a 2x4 to the ego, go for it.
  • Regrettably, my sister's about as handy as a bowl of beans when you have bad gas.
  • Keep sweet.
  • It's not grave robbing if the dead tell you to do it.
  • Words have power. To name me is to know me.
  • A shape. A mask and a form. To name me is to bind me.
  • Autism causes vaccines.
  • I learned way too much about dildos from that night.
  • You'd be surprised how fervently people can throw away money.
  • Its not difficult to build a bomb when it's not what you set out to do.
  • Oh fuck, I knew it was today, but I forgot today was today! Shit!
  • The more reality TV you make, the harder it is to make reality TV.
  • I might not remember much useful history, but by gum do I know TTRPGs.
  • She thinks she is fixing stuff, but not all foods need turmeric in it.
  • I see someone else has a middle school sense of humor. My people!
  • I'm sorry my attempt at compressing a directory went so horribly wrong.
  • If you're lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company.
  • Never underestimate what your brain is capable of and capable of ignoring.
  • Hugo's the guy with the weird neck.
  • Purple Mattress: could kill you, but the quality of sleep is worth the risk!
  • We can say that in death we return to what we were before we were alive.
  • My wiki didn't come with a php so how do I make one?
  • Oh hey, I was right. Dude is thicker than a bunker.
  • Many are the dead that serve.
  • I would say the statement is half right and totally dumb.
  • If you saw something, no you didn't. Just ignore it and it'll leave you alone hopefully...
  • I saw a guy fly with an entire weed plant as his carry-on in Canada.
  • We didn't know we were holding gold, we just complained about the weight.
  • My love of the English language is only equalled by my distaste of this situation.
  • Self-declared King dictates democracy necessary at local level only.
  • I don't know Slobber Bear but now I love Slobber Bear. May you always have Slobber Bear.
  • If I don't stop now this is going to swallow me.
  • This is your will? What is will, but the decision and the follow-through?
  • You need to go to their world. If they could come to your world, they would.
  • Ah, you upgraded from a six pack to a proper barrel!
  • Choosing is a sin.
  • See, you understand life, and I like you.
  • After looking at many bear mauling pictures, I have decided that I don't want this to happen to me.
  • You're only young once, but can be immature forever!
  • Approksimoidaan pyöreä lehmä.
  • Our childhoods weren't good, but that wasn't our fault.
  • Striking 'Amelia' off my baby name list.
  • I dare say you are correct. I may well be out of touch with Modern Murdering.
  • Everyone who has ever seen a doctor is dead, dying, or will die sooner or later. Let that sink in.
  • At work it is better to have fake friends than real enemies.
  • It was Ogtha all along.
  • Grace. Such an amazing thing. It can move mountains.
  • We do this not because it is easy, we do this because we thought it would be easy.
  • A sibling knows them all their life, as a peer. They know the monster before the mask is perfected.
  • I've tried nothing and I'm all out of options!
  • Maybe you shouldn't take a word so well reserved for you and use it on others.
  • Pseudomonas is supposed to be exactly that color!
  • Pay no attention to the USB port behind the 'No USB Port' sticker!
  • He knocked the bucket off the madman's head. There was another bucket underneath.
  • I guzzle industrial-grade cringe on a daily basis, but this is just too much.
  • How do you unlearn a lifetime of having to apologise for even existing?
  • Did you eat 4 feet of the communal 6 foot cucumber?
  • Use your thinking brain.
  • I take back everything I've ever said about wanting our infant to be mobile.
  • Honestly the fact that it's such a pointless mundane encounter is what makes me think it happened.
  • Stolen food just tastes better. The secret ingredient is crime.
  • I just ate a blueberry the size of a testicle and I couldn't even tell what I was eating.
  • Yeah, I think a little stability would be nice in core.
  • Nobody respected your boundaries, so you did what was necessary to protect yourself.
  • You can't stupid-proof your house, nor should you try.
  • I'm delighted to hear that what I was going to do anyway is apparently now a plan.
  • Is this about the Dodecahedron of Morality?
  • I made soup. Out of soup, and more soup.
  • There are also tasks which look similar: 'all login bugs look similar - you are not logged in'.
  • Cats can teach you a lot about consent, particularly what it's like to have it constantly violated.
  • Lawful neutral is just evil with extra steps.
  • If you're going to get emotionally attached to a dog, make it a portable one.
  • I don't believe in a higher power. I only believe in heroin.
  • I swear Magnus is the worst at naming things. MediaWiki, WikiShootMe, and now ListeriaBot.
  • Funerals always have more laughter than you would expect.
  • Nobody fucks with our community but ourselves.
  • You can't throw people under a bus they're driving.
  • You've got two balls I'm getting ready to hit and I think this 5 iron is gonna do just the job!
  • The murder-hobo is not the issue here?
  • Can we start a sub solely for Chinese industrial accidents? Those were my favorite anyway.
  • Remember, real impostors don't have impostor syndrome.
  • She enjoys the pets so much, she wants to eat the limb that's scratching the spot.
  • There needs to be remedial sex ed for parents so they can figure out how to cope with it.
  • There's a pretty big Ethiopian population in Ethiopia too.
  • I have experience preserving fruits and vegetables, not jarred severed foot.
  • It's not big drama. But it's chowder drama.
  • Maybe in heaven, bedbugs just whisper 'goodnight' to everyone.
  • You're not an NPC. People are too busy doing fetch quests.
  • Safety equipment doesn't matter until the one time you need it.
  • White Claw tastes like thinking about your favorite Starburst flavor while licking a QR code.
  • It's not worth trying to make sense of people who are determined to avoid making sense.
  • Fiction has to be believable. Reality has no such constraints.
  • Mature conversations and behavior are so satisfying to read about.
  • We accept the love we think we deserve.
  • I wish I was the same size as the first time I thought I was fat.
  • I don't want you to get mad at me for standing up for myself so I'm adding this sawdust as filler.
  • Again, English is my first language, I'm just bad at it.
  • I use to work in EMS. The most fucked up thing I've seen was my paycheck.
  • I learned patience and dark humor from my years driving in New Delhi.
  • It still tastes like soap!
  • Safety squints are not proper PPE.
  • What is this fruit? Tastes like nintendo cartridge.
  • I'm sorry, but without a banana, I am unable to comprehend what's going on.
  • Usually there are sensible voices in the room, but they are not always listened to.
  • Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit.
  • Sometimes I don't want to be strong. Sometimes I just want to be protected and comforted.
  • I didn't need to be strong. I needed to be safe.
  • Today I learned a 'penis house' is not only a thing, but a medical term...!
  • The random website is misleading (or wrong).
  • Confusion is our most important product.
  • Through over the world to meet you, 'cause my sincerity heart never gonna change.
  • He went from looking like a skull to merely looking like a man who had a stroke.
  • Parachute plant. Mine is purple and should probably see a doctor.
  • Sweet lord. The human body and the human mind... which one is more incomprehensible?
  • This why I don't bake naked. Anymore.
  • Do plants need sunlight? I've heard mixed things.
  • Old sink was inoperable and was used as storage for paperwork.
  • It is a plant of disturbance. It likes edges.
  • Up close, see it for what it is: an exercise in the good enough.
  • Have grace, for so much of the world has none.
  • We forget. Time blurs our memories of these common tragedies of yesteryear.
  • We can't stop here. This is bat country.
  • If I didn't know better, I would suspect that I have been accused of racially profiling my ants.
  • We must all play our roles to the end, must we not?
  • Embrace the cringe. Untold power lies within.
  • Would she be able to argue its just a decoration and not a real knife due to how stupid it looks?
  • How is it looking angry? It's a skeleton.
  • Bugs are just miscellaneous. Anything that I don't know what it is, that's a bug.
  • Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see.
  • Take note, that also counts for allergies. The first exposure isn't what gets you, it's the second.
  • Go home?! Where my FAMILY LIVES??
  • I need a hat.
  • 'Numerous buttholes were created'. Thanks a heap, brain.
  • Ugh. Right in the finger crotch.
  • Sci-Fi and fantasy aren't genres, they're settings.
  • Most surgeons are not woundcare specialists: just plastic surgeons, from what I've been told.
  • I trust you to be you.
  • He didn't make the lover's choice, but rather the poet's. There is little poetry in the truth.
  • The aircraft is covered in slime. We may now depart.
  • Getting divorced mukes childhood 100% of the time. Thinking it doesn't is just lying to yourself.
  • And the horse detached like a booster rocket.
  • Step aside, coffee. This is a job for alcohol.
  • I'm enjoying my free time. I bought a plant from IKEA.
  • Thanks for the concern, but I'm not suicidal. Just really tired.
  • I totally forgot about Brixtofte. Actually, did Hildring join when the frog monsters happened?
  • I've still got these log files, but also, these log files are so large they won't open.
  • No kindness is too small.
  • Good things come to those who listen.
  • It's weird being the same age as old people.
  • All laws disproportionately affect the poor.
  • Why the hell did the damn intern order an... oh shit, it's positive.
  • It's true, I have sometimes accidentally told jokes during surgery and had it be an issue.
  • For the last time, psychiatry is not a surgical disease.
  • IF I HAD STEALTH TECH I WOULDN'T BE ARGUING WITH YOU IN A HALLWAY.
  • The evolution of sense is, in a sense, the evolution of nonsense.
  • Starting to feel people like to pronounce wikipedia dead for the fun of it.

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There's a difference between being open-minded and being a maroon.