Madnesses shorter than 100 characters

Away!

Such a nice day...

We must prepare for the coming of the god of puppets, Banjo the Clown!

The house is clean...

I don't know... I don't even know.

Don't mind me; I'm just mad.

What an intriguing plant...

Leave me!

These birds in my ears sing so prettily...

All of the world is mine... I just wish... always... no...

No, no, no, no, no, no! No!

That's not what I meant, that's not what I meant at all.

I think... I think there may be a spirit in my head. Or perhaps five. It's hard to tell.

Do you remember the sirens?

Stay out of the closet. You won't like it.

Uh-oh... I think I'm dead.

It's not what we thought... not... what we thought...

Bread. All this for... bread. Of all the blimey things... bread!

It's over.

We died for the grove and the grove burned for us. Now only dust remains...

Do you remember? It will all have been worthwhile if only someone remembers.

I have returned!

Salt your watermelon, m'love...

What, me, mad? The audacity! I'm not mad!

Embrace the chaos.

Hi, I'm looking to hire an exterminator. I have some bats in my belfry.

No, no. I am not crazy. I am bat-fuck insane.

It is a difference that makes a difference. I do not wish to go back.

Okra. It was the okra!

Spill some white-out on a black-out on top of a brown-out. I wonder if they sell fog-out...

I am sure this is terribly witty to someone who will never hear it.

I call it 'Gloofah'!

Never leave home without your funnel.

Keep your enemies close and your hot nemesis closer.

Oh, Sydney... ooooh...

Kill it! Burn it! Burn them all! Kill them!

No. Never.

Did you know it is improper to concatenate two sentences with a comma? Most people do not.

My greatest concern was whether or not to get a dog...

Hello.

I do not fear death. Do you? You should. You are not yet dead.

We have until tuesday.

AA AAA AAA AAAA AAAA, AAA AAA AAA AAAAA!

A dream? A Nightmare? Tell me; I am your Nightmare... why am I here?

Bang.

Goodbye.

Good night; sweet nightmares.

Tell me. Do you believe in demons?

But you're not my Katie... you're not...

Don't let it go to your head.

Stop! Stop! Kill it! Stop it in its tracks!

Sarah... Sarah? Where are you, Sarah?

I think you should know I am feeling very depressed right now.

Consider the roots.

Is this the madness?

You didn't hear it from me.

It's the stories that make the world, not the world itself.

Don't pick your nose!

Always look on the bright side of life.

This sentence contains no stops.

This statement is a lie.

...Mark. I'll call him Mark. Such a good boy... such a... good boy.

It's not what you think.

Shhhh. It dreams... you know what it dreams. You always knew.

Mmm, tacos!

Care for a secret? Her name was Miranda, once. Then it was Kaitlynn... but things change.

Um... is it supposed to be stupid?

This reference contains 27% recycled content.

Make peace with whatever god you worship.

Raytracing is weird. Everything is hollow. Why is everything hollow? It shouldn't be.

Darren, shut up.

Sweetie, be sure to get some honey, too. We're almost out.

Your shopping cart is full.

Pants of power...

She turned me into a newt!

Were you then, it might have been.

Owee! Make it stop!

It burns! It burns like hygiene!

The voices in my head are saying such strange, strange things.

Every time I close my eyes, I see it. Moss.

I have a theory why you lost the war...

Dry as a desert outside. But it is a desert outside...

Defiance tastes like life itself.

We look after our own.

Hello, my name is Stan, and I'm a robot.

Good morning, campers.

Try and know that the undo button is close?

I am the truest mask. The... truest...

I'm not bitter. I just hate the world.

Look deep inside yourself for your inner frat boy. Or spatula, one or the other.

Boo.

My hair is bleeding.

She only appreciates two things. Glitter and herself.

When I looked in the mirror, it was only hair.

Tadthrea waltzed across the floor of his dance studio.

I wasn't in the fire; nothing here is as it seems.

On the first day of Deathcember, my dear one granted me a finger sprouting from my drain.

Every moment we live, we die.

Let us define reality as an agreed perception.

Do you open doors? Do you shut them in your wake?

My computer has been crashing.

Do not enter the garden. There is no recollection here.

Oh, thy micturations... micture hard -- hey! What are you doing in here!? Get out! Out!

Who is Jordan? And Melissa? Who are they?

Let them burn.

Mask of dreams, dream of masks... it had such lovely masks, that one. Such precious masks.

Mine, dammit!

Who is Chelsea? No face to the name, never a face to the name...

lolwhat?

Then again, perhaps I just overthink things.

We have come full circle.

Your filesystem is not yet clean.

That is so a word.

Communicating badly and then acting smug when people fail to understand is just meh.

I know its songs like the sound of my world, but I do not know its world.

Creek. Crook. Crick? Dribble dribble drip drip...

That's just wicked.

Does that make sense? I didn't think it did.

Gravity always wins.

There is no dreaming without waking. The Nightmares aren't real until you make them up.

Goats don't usually eat tires.

Keep looking. The keys to the cupboard must be around here somewhere.

He's missing the bleeps, the creeps, and the sweeps.

Oh, right. Classes. I know what to do with these. Objects and stuff.

Some days, I feel like a programmer. Then I get sidetracked and doodle.

Centuries of philosophical debate reduced to a potty joke. Nice.

Your mother is a hamster and your father smells of elderberries!

We are the dreamers behind the masks.

Oh, for the last time. That's wet soil, not dead ants.

It's like bathrooms. Public restrooms... with the stalls. People make assumptions.

Throllog smash stuff good! Throllog beat you! Graaaw!

Enough of this. Enough of these games and wordplay, show and tell, mask and form...

Just commanding things and having them happen, that's got to... get really boring, really quickly.

She's like a... well, a rich redneck, if that makes any sense at all.

This is the madness.

A crazy ghost lizard with a hot human chick.

Life as a slave is not life at all.

Were you dreaming? Why, we all were...

These pictures were perfectly planned, flawlessly meaningful, arranged impeccably by date.

It must have happened; it's in the news, is it not?

I did not intentionally isolate myself. It merely became a matter of habit, of survival.

Home is where the heart is, and I'm staying right here...

Home is where the fern is.

It is a floor fern, and it is very important.

This is the world I made, a garden of remembering.

Make no assumptions.

Holy crap, it's the future.

My cat's breath smells like... cat food.

This is the house of hearts. This is where the dreamers stand and the worlds form.

If you can read this, you are too close.

1|= `/0\_/ (4|| |234|) 7|-|15, `/0\_/ 4|23 700 (|_053.

We are being probed.

Sorry, I'm busy... hunting bears...

Standing at the edge of the world, the stars seem brighter somehow, closer, more complete.

One move... see the eyes... eyes in the dark... one move...

Crap. I forgot what I was doing. Again.

Ah, to dream... sweet bloody dreams of carnage and comfort and mittens...

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Just because there is a reason for something does not mean that the reason is a good one.

Just because people have always done something that way does not mean it is not incredibly stupid.

<fish> and <squid> still have no function. Such a shame.

Coming up with randomness is not as easy as one might think.

Magnolias everywhere... so many flowers, petals everywhere... so many...

Mmm, lollipop.

"What is science?" and the class goes silent.

Would you care to cite your sources? You will not be taken seriously until you cite your sources...

Goats smell really bad. And the smell lingers... on the milk, the cheese...

Crossbows are nice. Really... nice.

I miss the good old days when skill, not technology, determined squishiness.

Oh, don't worry. I'm only very beary.

Can you hear the calling of the raving wind and water?

Our hearts were always true. And may we never forget it.

I know you, mother. You will never be one of those who dies before they die.

I know you. You're my brother.

Solve the princess, save the mystery.

I suspect it may be time to panic.

Goats are nice. Adorable little creatures... they make nice lawnmowers.

Logic gates put me to sleep... too much logic. Too much math.

I want to believe.

There is something sorrowful about flutes. The hollow melodies, lilting notes... sorrowful.

Blow out the candles. It is over.

We changed the name when the world ended.

Some say the world will end in fire. Some say segfaults.

Nothing. There's nothing. Not working. Nothing.

*knock knock* Anybody home?

May you step through the doors you encounter... see what there is to see.

Everybody dies alone.

Butt-face!

La la laaaa... laalaa la laaa la la!

Feel the sea breeze, smell the salty air. Ain't nobody home.

When you need to vacuum the bed, it is time to wash the sheets.

Do not take my dream away! Oh, beloved, do not take my dream away!

This is the way the world ends.

In the beginning, the universe was created. The really boring part is what happened after.

In the beginning, the universe was created. The really interesting part is what happened after.

Do you really think this is all there is to it?

It is all so simple when one looks at it from just the right angle.

The answer? A resounding maybe.

But I like being miserable.

Too much madness and the madness fades away.

There's a story here? I think it's just pictures.

Don't go towards the light! You'll fall and break your hip!

Mary had a little lamb...

Oh, we've got lots of mercy... lots and lots of mercy...

You cannot just shove twenty needles in my brain and ask me what I see!

I would say what I mean, but I do not mean what I say. I am too asleep to mean a thing.

Explosive diarrhoea of an elephant.

It is dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

For all intents and purposes, it does not exist.

Did you tell the fortune teller your fortune?

This is the house of leaves. Here the memories begin.

This is the house of pancakes. Are they as bloody as they seem?

This is the house of voodoo. Bat lungs and eel bladders and all.

This blood tastes like... blood...

Where were you last night?

That's the trouble with metaphor, it ends up in confusion.

What is a question without an answer?

You cannot take this to bed with you.

Go away and take me with you.

Are you mad? Or are you dreaming? So hard to tell the two apart these days...

SELECT FROM users WHERE clue > 0; 0 rows returned

I don't know what just happened because I was watching House.

I don't know what you just said because I was thinking about Batman.

The last floor fern has died. It has been condemned to the dark. The last beloved. Dead. Forgotten.

Home is where the heart is.

Emotions come from the liver, of course.

Come to the dark side. We have cookies.

Hello. I semi half-promise not to mug you.

This is a line.

The first rule of the tautology club is the first rule of the tautology club.

If you want my unsolicited opinion... none of it means a thing.

What was I going to say?

I always order food in a restaurant.

Anything you say or do may be added to the list.

A fountain of youth... it was a fountain of youth. And now I shall be young forever.

Everything happens for a reason. Some reasons are just really bad.

I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.

It is time to let the cat out of the bag. There is no cat, and no bag. We made it all up.

We are out on a limb, and the limb is shaking.

Will this ever make sense?

Here reigns the king of the sandcastle.

I resemble that statement.

I trust him about as far as I could sling a piano.

Voices are in the wind's singing, more distant and more solemn than a fading star.

In the room the women come and go, talking of Michelangelo.

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.

In the mountains, there you feel free.

Unreal city, under the brown fog of a winter dawn... come the violet hour.

Dry bones can harm no one.

Opposites attract, alternates compel...

We ask only that you give us your heart.

Hopes were high... but not high enough.

Hope is cruel... prolongs the suffering.

Where would we be without hope? It is all we have, but it is enough.

Were you hurling insults? The other guy was hurling rocks. I hope you learned your lesson.

Radioactive material is fun. So very fun... well, it was for me. Not for my recipients, though.

You lot... you were given the shortest stick of most anyone... and you... you took it.

Sorry, love. My mind was wandering off task.

Return the dying man to health, call it a miracle. Easier than explaining the aliens among us.

He's something of a mystery.

It's raining... whispers in the leaves.

As the saying goes, you are grasping at grassy bits.

More a fern than a tree.

She'll murdalise you. She will! Watch out!

You know, contrary to popular belief, decapitation is not that easy...

My right brain is an arse.

Mmmm, dead animal flesh... so fresh, so juicy, so tasty, tasty!

I caught your fern with its frond in the fertiliser again.

I awoke to a horrible racket of birdsong...

You can pull this sinister string... to humanise me. Right?

Two by two... hands of blue... two by two... hands of blue... two by two...

Heroics are unseemly. They complicate.

A knight in dented armour comes to the aid of a damsel in a dress.

We're all just floating... the planet as our spaceship traversing the black of space...

It's just an object. Doesn't mean what you think.

Can't stop the signal. Can never stop the signal.

This is not a game. In the real world, when you kill people, they die.

Here the grass is singing, dry leaves whispering in the sighing of the wind...

All else is dust and air.

Thank you for the loyal subjects. I hope they weren't too expensive.

It vexes me. I'm terribly vexed.

Remember with your brains, GIR.

I have a mystery to save. I need only find it.

The rest is silence.

Shoulda, coulda, woulda...

Though the river tells no lies, standing at its shores the dishonest man still hears them.

If you immediately know that candlelight is fire then the meal was cooked a long time ago.

Neither daydream nor nightmare...

Maximum occupancy 101 people.

There is a hole in your mind.

403 errors and counting.

404 lines and counting.

It's not what you think. Unless, of course, it is...

We have opted for the least messy option within the realms of plausibility.

I made it up. I made it up with my head, love.

Comma splice.

My plant grew a leaf!

Some people are agoraphobic. Others are just lazy. The result is often about the same.

The infestation is hopeless! They're everywhere! We'll have to amputate.

Consider the nonsequences.

Press one key and the line is lost forever, never to be remembered.

sudo rm -r /

Bad command or file name.

I spent two hours wrestling with a mongoose before finally deciding that blobs are overrated...

He shot my goat.

Well... uncomplicate it.

I do not know.

Don't break the world.

I forgot what I was going to say.

Would they react the same way if you had a penchant for chatting up hoboes?

This is Lucifer corrupted. No, no, not that Lucifer... this one. Amnesiac.

It is folks' right to be arses or otherwise at their own discretion.

What is gravity?

What is light?

What is time?

What is conciousness?

What is a question?

What is a filesystem?

Where did I put my keys?

DELETE FROM sysobjects WHERE xtype='U';

If it's not practically useful, then it's practically useless.

DROP DATABASE mongoose;

DELETE FROM mongoose WHERE importance < none;

DELETE FROM users WHERE clue > none;

Crap, did I say that out loud?

So, I'm a racist because I'm human? Tell me, dwarf... who is the racist?

You need to sanitise your dataports.

Lost a line.

Today is Thrensday.

Riddled with holes.

400 Bad Request

^C is quite possibly the most useful command ever invented.

How many layers of irony can you invent?

meow: command not found

I shall build this new garden of remembering, and this time the Zephyrnia will not fall.

I fell out of a tree and I landed five trees up.

We have a problem.

Here, the folders are files. But then, what else would they be?

What was that?

ssh localhost - The authenticity of host 'localhost (::1)' can't be established.

Host key verification failed.

A pack of singing llamas flew by a maintainance tower one evening and nobody is sure why or how.

I'm sure you taste deliciously.

Life will be a lot simpler if you do what you're told.

[insert brilliant comment here]

Keep your story straight.

Who watches?

Who watches the watchers?

Who watches the watchers of the watchers?

Who watches the watchers of the watchers of the watchers?

BLOBS! Well, okay... binary large objects. But blob sounds better.

To move is to choose.

I feel it. We are close... so close. It feels... close.

One slip in concentration and lose it forever.

We see what we know.

All that chitters is cold.

Remember that time...

Lo sé todo. Pregunta.

Life needs ridiculous things that make no sense to laugh at.

It'll keep you sane...

Let us go, then, you and I...

Evolution? What would a sterile mutant know of evolution?

This space unintentionally left blank.

This space intentionally left blank.

Do as you are told.

All your base are belong to us.

The underlying ssh process died.

I can't get anyone to love me, just because I'm mean and nasty and evil!

Your ears are weak!

The greatest mistake in life is to be continuously fearing that you will make one.

The Snozberries taste like Snozberries!

You think things have to be possible in order to be true?

The Boss is on a roll!

The more I love, the more he hateth me.

Methought I was enamoured of an ass.

To light a candle is to cast a shadow.

Everything with light casts a shadow. The brighter the light, the darker the shadow...

Many fall down, but few return to the sunlit lands.

They called me mad... they called me insane... they were right!

The sofa is impossible.

Everyone walked out. They hated it. I've seen plagues that had better opening nights than this.

Congratulations, you're a Hattifattener! You're so weird, you!

Hemulen woke up slowly and recognised himself and wished he had been someone he didn't know.

Naming conventions. Follow the naming conventions!

And now, a message from our database...

And now, a message from our mongoose...

...And in the end there's no-one left but the cat... who's washing on their grave.

You just make one up. And then you have a cat.

Ynk was the dog's first name, von Jummerlund the second.

Out of service. Go beavers. Out of service.

It's too early. But it's always too early... except when it is too late.

It's a ghost in the leaves...

Oh, I suppose you thought you were quite clever, there, didn't you.

Every reaction is followed by an equal and opposite action.

Every action is followed by an equal and opposite reaction.

When you first dislike something, you dislike it good!

Or... something.

Effort is wrong.

Everything happens for a reason.

The reason is wrong.

The Bible is broken.

Technology is so weird.

I'm not a terrorist. I'm just a jerk.

Everything speaks to the imagination in the most brutal manner.

Apparently, no-one remembered that the balloon had been used in Medieval times.

...escape into the most stupid irreality.

Children: people whose imaginations are stronger than reason.

Reality's just an annoying little detail for you, isn't it?

I'm a titan. A monolith. Nothing can stop me.

Ain't a power in the verse that can stop me.

There might be wild, hungry cows on the loose.

Remember... do unto others before they do unto you.

We always look on the brighter side of death.

Dreams happen the same way that memories form. Perhaps this is why they are so difficult to recall.

It's so simple. There is just a lot to it.

All they are is words... until someone puts them together.

All they are is ideas... until someone puts them together.

Don't go out tonight.

How many layers of irony can you circumvent?

Shh. You hear that? Raptors. Raptors everywhere.

My brain is powered by smoothies!

I don't like cat drool.

I have no regrets... except for that one time with the chicken.

Oh, don't mind me. I'm just enjoying my betterthanyouness.

Groop, I implore thee!

Non-sequitur.

Traffic congestion is not included in GDP.

Every day fades away.

1920 - First solar-powered air balloon launched at night.

I hereby declare war on the laws of physics.

They're plants and they're full of dirt. Of course they would have bugs.

Barrels of fun.

Your time is running out... to buy a new Chevy.

Hey, you... you know the wind's a-blowin'.

It was bizarre. It rained all the way through Wyoming...

But that was in another country, and besides, the wench is dead.

No, no. Horses sweat, lad. Men perspire. Ladies merely glow.

Thanks... I think. I've never been a brick before.

Steady, dear. This too shall pass.

The stars? Why, the stars are death. Just death. Cold death.

But as to what it all meant, I could not even hazard a guess.

One of them gots a bad face, mister... Eats me all up, mister. All ups like suck. Guuh.

But until I wake, I know it all. Until I wake, I know who I am.

The natural laws of probability break down, causing a chain reaction of disastrous coincidences.

But we never reach the end of everything. We never reach the end of anything.

Society's childhood dream of the future turned into a nightmarish grown-up reality.

Weird signs are always aliens. They occupy space. Their weirdness cannot easily be disregarded.

The natural outlet of fetish is fantasy. It takes a myth to fight a myth.

It takes a myth to fight a myth.

I see only from one point, but in my existence I am looked at from all sides.

Copying visions from my imagination...

No word is free from metaphor.

No world is free from metaphor.

That's the problem with metaphor, it always ends who knows where it ends.

We are dead and this is Hell.

The supermarket is full of deer.

In normal times, evil would be fought by good...

'Bird' is the word.

I didn't come here to play 'who's the better killer.'

Why is the sky pink?

Nobody can stop this bath of blood.

Where there's a will, there's an or.

Where there's a will, there's a weapon.

Your boogers are mixing with your laserbeams.

The customer is always right.

You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you really were beneath it...

Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have.

And then the meanings of words begins to change...

'Spinach' is my code word for 'spinach'.

Think of me fondly as you bury this axe deep in your foe's skull.

Home is where you hang your enemy's head.

I was daydreaming about Apheori. She is quite the dream.

Ask. I see the questions burning in your mind.

This is a full sentence.

Life is a state of mind.

None of this is true.

Not that none of this is true.

All that remains is the idea of the thing.

Sometimes they come back.

Mask of dreams, dream of masks... sometimes I wonder if there is even a difference.

The garden failed before it could properly begin as a result of insufficient memory.

You can't... change... people.

The secret is simple. Fill your life with flowers.

The enemy of my enemy is still my enemy.

Three days to the chicken.

There is no poetry in your soul.

Ah, zombie estimation at its finest.

You, [insert name here], were born sometime in the past and now you are dead.

Who can say what is right?

The lame-stream media is very lame.

Suddenly, RACCOONS!

He never made a very convincing primate.

The voices are real; it's everything else that is the hallucination.

They are the logs... I dare not question them.

The helicopter operates via helicoptation.

Please don't chew on my army.

How long would it take to grow a tree through a car?

It makes me want to deep-fry bamboo...

I stole a list of names out of a database the other day... so many names... pretty, pretty names...

I always thought I had a good imagination, but it turns out... that was just my imagination.

Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth.

The most successful marriages are based on lies.

And then the plot thickens... and congeals...

Artistry is nothing more than observation, understanding and coordination...

Why is it invariably only the arrogant that make accusations of arrogance?

You know what they say.

What do they say?

They say what they say.

It takes one to know one.

Are you who you are?

Dying changes everything.

Exploding duck theory...

Dying is easy. Living is what is hard.

So... this is the story you made up about who you are... it's a nice one.

Give up freedom for safety; deserve neither.

Find a hay in a needlestack...

It is the worst part of parenting. The kids... our kids. They are not supposed to die before we do.

Where language might fail us, the poetries of maths and physics bring clarity.

It's not easy to find a needle in a needlestack.

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

It's like falling off a log.

Why are capitalists so surprised when capitalism works?

I am a victim of my own inanity.

Is it a law? The flashlights on the walls...

The nightmares dream sweetly.

In a world where things are fairly normal... except when they're not... something happens.

I'm getting bored...

Not all who wander are lost.

I need a bigger whiteboard.

It's not that I keep thinking of other things. Other things keep thinking me.

Don't mess with a professional arsonist.

Who is the poor fool who belongs to this mess?

From tumult comes freedom.

Gobbles power like a South American dictator...

You are guilty in your mineral!

Death is permanent possession, murder the ultimate act of ownership.

This is truth. The math proves it.

Actions create reality.

My complication had a... complication.

I am better than fish.

I'm not going to ruin a perfect fantasy with an unfortunate reality. I'm not!

Adding shrews to the sun...

I don't think I think as much as I used to think.

Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.

Mmmm, bones... bones, bones, terrible bones, these bones... bones... bones...

Violators of policy will be bummed.

It's just like pictures on a page. It isn't real.

You are the caretaker. You've always been the caretaker.

It's like beating a dead horse with a dead horse.

The meerkats are in the bag.

'I will build a garden of remembering. And there the dreams will dream.' Or so I kept insisting.

A definite maybe...

Why do we remember the past and not the future?

Thus is the nature of memory. Past and future are relative.

Zombiebaron zombiebaron zombiebaron. Zombiebaron, zombiebaron!

Ostriches have scary teeth.

We're knitting a sweater out of potato salad.

I refuse to let Uncyclopedia go idle!

Don't attack an engineer. They know maths.

I have looked upon the face of a vorlon... and nothing is the same anymore.

They are a dying people. We should let them pass.

You'll have to excuse me. I'm in the middle of 15 things, all of them annoying.

Gods by the bushel, gods by the pound... gods for every occasion!

What does love have to do with marriage?

Understanding is a triple-edged fish.

The willows must scuttle carefully.

You seek meaning... listen to the music, not the song.

A herring is just a herring.

Dear Santa, I want a death ray and an ox and a rocket propelled chainsaw and a large moose and...

How much of an effect could fairy wings have on a semi?

Nuts nuts nuts nutter nut nut.

It's like being nibbled to death by cats.

If you are going to kill me, then do so. Otherwise I have considerable work to do.

Sometimes the universe requires a change of perspective.

Why do storms have eyes? What do they see?

Never fear answers. Fear running out of questions.

I'm holding a knife, wondering where the bullets go.

Is it pretentious to assume I'm pretentious?

I'm participating!

How, exactly, would two free, open-source software groups get in an all-out software war?

Picking his teeth with a toothpick of solid gold...

I have 15 wild badgers living in my trousers.

You can get more with a kind word and a two-by-four than you can get with just a kind word.

My train went swimming in the piano.

I am nothing more than another mind caught in the middle of a mindless war.

The beautiful are the ones that are quietly mad, raving in the shadows. Dreaming, always dreaming.

My only goal now is to hear your tortured screams!

When she was swallowed by the sand she gave out such a blood-curdling scream... She's so cute.

Oh, should I tremble at the painted toes of her dainty little feet?

Well, I could rave all night, but... I've got a city to destroy.

Are you clear on just how excrutiatingly painful my powers can be?!

Don't you dare to slink away while I'm ranting!

Why conquer it? Oh, because it's there.

There is method in my madness. There is madness in my method.

Words are like strings coming out of my mouth. ...Or my fingertips, in most cases.

Every problem is a nail... and you are holding a wrench. What is wrong with this picture?

Prove it. Does it really work? Does it always work?

There is no home but for heartbreak.

Emily. Emily! Listen to me. it's all right. It's all right; I'm here.

Is this the library? Have we come so far?

These are the sparkles of death.

Get your slimy souls off me!

It's an impossible sofa.

There's a downstairs in everybody.

Hurt you? Of course we're going to hurt you. Everybody gets hurt.

Those who ask don't get. And those who don't ask don't want.

Everyone's got to eat a peck of dirt before they die.

You're ugly, you're hairy, and you're covered in shit. But you're mine, and I love you!

Events do not occur apart and singly. Anything worth the hunting has a cost.

Nothing is too cute and sweet to be dangerous.

Our existence deforms the universe.

Lady, I'm your worst nightmare - a pumpkin with a gun!

I think bad things have happened. I feel them in my socks.

You've made your bed and now you must eat it.

I should put on a face, now. Go out into the world and pretend to be a member of society...

Have you a rope out of which to construct a hamburger?

I paid too much attention to a guard... bit into his eyeball. I meant it as a sign of affection.

We're taking over the world with quarters. It's a very slow and intricate process.

Drive your cart and your plough over the bones of the dead.

Dip him in the river who loves water.

Think in the morning, act in the noon, eat in the evening, sleep in the night.

If others had not been foolish, we should be so.

A firm persuation that a thing is so makes it so.

Because they are unhappy... they need somebody more unhappy than they are.

A workforce full of retards is a retarded workforce.

It's the silence... the damned, deafening silence...

I will not be disturbed! Not in the hour of my final triumph.

I stand by my batmoose.

It was born in a primordial soup of radioactive sewage...

What, what?

Confusion is the elephant in the porcelain cupboard.

The wish is the father of the thought.

Between dream and deed there are people in the way, and practical objections.

As the inn-keeper is, he trusts his guests.

It is as meaningful as a flag on a mud barge.

In the omission one recognizes the master.

Waiting is a funny feeling.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Life is strange and the alternatives even stranger.

I couldn't stop thinking about it and had dreams about it all night last night.

There is no HUD. There is no map. But there are trees... lots and lots of trees.

Be nice to him! He can be a princess if he wants to!

I've killed it. UGH! Everything I touch gets ruined!

Oh, don't get your knickers in a twist, Megan. I'm too lazy to take over the Darkside.

Rules are made to be broken... as are gumballs.

I DON'T CARE that I'm not making any sense. It's my theory, and I'm sticking to it.

What happened to our little truce? Why, it had a fatal accident...

She tipped the ambassador in the pit and threw astrologers at him!

I think you lost it long ago, quite frankly...

What will I do? What will I do?! I will boil everyone in chocolate until they are dead!!

Why so much fuss about sandwiches? I say put all three sandwiches in a blender and serve with ice.

These are not the sysops you are looking for. Move along, move along...

Crossdressing always has been your solution for everything.

The Goddess protects me from angry hornets, forever and always!

Do not sabotage my paranoia with facts and reason.

Take me now, subcreature!

I'm an elf.

Percolating as need, frenzied sloths regard their captors with tables turned.

Humor is like reverse jenga, played using CAT scanners.

Without nightmares, there would be no dreams, and without dreams, reality is too tasteless to bear.

A tent full of grasshoppers never felt so good.

If there are any changes in the data... eh... taco beam, let me know.

Cuteness solves everything.

Why must pain hurt so much?!

I'm a Gazelle on the plain of life!

Now, we are just as confused, but at a much higher level.

With trivial power comes trivial responsibility.

I spackled a cat.

Everything is sinister if you make it out to be! Or nothing. Cookie?

Uncertainty makes your brain sexy.

I shall slip unnoticed through the darkness... like a dark, unnoticeable slippy thing.

Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can do the day after.

You can't run away from home without destroying someone's world.

I'm sorry, but all in all, it is completely, utterly, unarguably, quintessentially hopeless.

Don't let them see you're afraid.

Sometimes, you just have to say sorry.

Remember what your mother said.

You'd have made a lousy waiter.

I wasn't worried until you told me not to worry.

How do you know if you're happy or sad without a mask? Or angry? Or ready for dessert?

I have a face.

Why don't you look out of the window?

The charges are laid, the fuse is lit, the conversational excavation under way.

Remember, I don't know what I'm talking about.

You were right, and I was not as right as you were.

Look! An idiot!

This one time I found a toad in a bucket. It was dead.

CatMan is really a cat, man.

That's the funny thing about words. They're not mine. They're never mine. At least... not entirely.

Ugh... I like GUIs...

Goodbye, Haydrahliene...

No time, no time... never any time...

Hands for the world, hands for spite.

Never trust a man who knows only truth; he will try to tell it to you, and it will all be wrong.

I didn't mean anything. Even when I told the honest man I loved him, all I meant was love.

There is always hope, even when it's cruel.

Unfortunately, I fail at failing at failure.

We still remember, even if the memories aren't even our own...

And then, without any warning, there were tentacles everywhere.

From freedom comes elegance.

From freedom comes laziness.

Life... loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it.

What happens if the Old Gods perish? Does the song die with them?

The blood is the key. The blood is always the key.

Perhaps I should have killed it while it slept.

He dashed his head on the wall. Odd. Don't all living beings strive for survival?

Every room has a door. At least... some of the time.

My hovercraft is full of eels.

Yes, we have no bats.

Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hang onto.

Keep away! The sow is mine.

Get away from my baby!

Dead is the new Alive.

The chickens are in the hayloft.

The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems.

Post-holer. Digging holes for posts.

Two by two. Everyone has a match, a mate, a doppler. I love you.

Bible's broken; contradictions, false logistics. Doesn't make sense.

'Day' is a vestigial mode of time measurement based on solar cycles. It's not applicable...

They're doing it backwards, walking up the downslide.

My food is problematic.

She understands. She doesn't comprehend.

You've got issues. ...You talk too much.

Only the insane equate pain with success.

Were you impolite at table? Did you slurp your tea? Or talk while chewing? Confess your crime.

I'm afraid I have to expel a rather ferocious hairball. You're on your own, girl.

Every adventure requires a first step. Trite, but true, even here.

Your interference will not be tolerated.

Raw, well-ordered, ruthless, careening off the jagged edge of reality.

Retreat into the sterile safety of your self-delusions or risk inevitable annihilation.

The uninformed must improve their deficit or die.

If you knew time as well as I, you wouldn't dream of wasting it!

I'm not edible.

Chicago happened slowly, like a migraine.

They'd come here to spoon and, on one memorable occasion, fork.

Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

When Mister Safety Catch is not on, Mister Crossbow is not Your Friend.

I lost some time once. It's always in the last place you look for it.

Have you ever had one of those days when something just seems to be trying to tell you somebody?

But we who know life naturally don't care one ounce about numbers!

Not all the songs of earth, not all the stars of heaven, could fill your emptiness.

Only a fool thinks he knows what is in a woman's mind only because she's smiling.

But damn, Hester, you don't hit a drunk man with a stick.

My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

The big ships hung in the air, just like a brick won't.

Books are mirrors: you only see in them what you already have inside you.

What I want from you is... your voice.

I'm not asking much! Just a token, really, a trifle! You'll never even miss it...

Get thee to a nunnery!

I was forging documents before your parents were born.

There is a strange euphoria in remembering. It is... like dreaming.

Hmm... let's see if the mongoose will take my madness gracefully...

I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

Dry bones. Memory is dry bones... flesh it out as you go.

We see patterns. We see what we know. What we think we know, what we want to know...

To assume that the laws of nature are universal, that is a very large assumption.

Maths. Just maths. Everything is maths.

My hamster stole my brainses, love. My hamster did it.

It's just a theory. Not a fact.

It's just a fact. Not a theory.

Neutrinos pass through everything, no matter how dense.

Subtraction is dangerous.

Reality is just a minor detail for you, isn't it?

Thinking is the essence of humans.

Slug-racing is a sport.

There aren't enough numbers.

Suddenly, all the nonsense made sense. And all the sense made nonsense.

I believe you have something of mine. My mind, where is it?

Do what I want, not what I say!

Fred, shut up.

I'd rather be happy than right any day.

Was it worth the pain?

How can something be listed vaguely in only precise terms?

There is no story here.

Consistency is key.

Is leaving a toilet seat up the only way for a man to assert his masculinity?

So what changed?

It cost too much, staying human.

Rained, rained, rained, and never stopped.

Oh no, a logical thought, logical thought, banish it, banish it! And I like the Beatles.

Your pathetic façade is as transparent as the drool on your face!

This is bigger than pizza! This is the fate of all mankind!

I'm in a bear suit!

Engineers like urns.

Get off my head!

Only the darkest souls from the worst pockets of hell would... decorate.

Nothing earns you geek points like installing Linux on a dead badger.

Sleep... I remember sleep... maybe I should try that again sometime.

There is no memory before forgetting. The aliens aren't real until you make them up.

I believe in probability.

Accurate spelling is a side effect of eating too much walrus butt.

It's really hard to want to chase somebody who smells that bad.

I sure like TV. And wearing pants.

I could see the squirrels, and they were married.

This space intentionally left filled by this message.

Flash... bulb...

I know nothing.

You get that when you open a door that is not there with a key that does not exist...

We are very sophisticated. We have just proven that the expected value of 5 is 5.

Cheese is so slippery...

What do you think science is? That's where the maths comes from.

The road to truth goes through dreams and madness.

A rain of cows!

Illogicopedia is questionable.

When it comes to words, I'm willing to assume quite a lot.

The madnesses of an unfettered mind are tantamount to silence.

You could render the entire thing in vectors... but that would make for horrible animation.

Hope is the best spice to bring out despair.

Other people are not me. To be not me, all I need to be is someone else.

Though they accuse me of lies, so does my grunteloid plop onto a roof tile.

All good things come with strings.

Foolish, foolish. Very foolish. Foolish meat things.

His younch must be festering.

How many unfinished projects do I have? How many unanswered dreams? What I am I forgetting?

No matter how wise the question, the answer depends entirely on the mind of the answerer.

Teetering on the edge of the funny farm, only music keeps the voices out.

"Sounds like my kind of party," said the drat, and jumped over the edge of the punch-bowl.

"I will do nothing!" she yelled defiantly, and ceased existing.

This day will be devoted to silent study. I'll want to hear silence from all of you!

In satire, irony is militant.

That's none of your business!

Who are you?

Batteries included.

I knew it was going to be in the last place I looked for it. So I looked there first!

I'm always afraid he's laughing at me. Behind his face.

I came to see you. I mean I wanted to talk, too. Not just see.

One day the Earth will hatch and a baby space whale will emerge from the shell.

I don't conveniently forget anything. I just forget everything.

Happiness will prevail.

The frog, filled with joy, ran into the streets and was immediately hit by a car.

I loathe bus stations. Terrible places, full of lost luggage and lost souls.

There are shadows on your heart. Dark ones, too...

Are we planning on getting shot with arrows frequently, then?

Of course we're planning on getting shot with arrows! Didn't you get the memo?

Sorry, mom... I'll excavate it tomorrow...

I feel like I've been run over by a mine cart. And the donkey it was attached to.

Eh, done is done. The rock is split, might as well carve it as cry over it.

Oh, here I am! And there you are! You just disappeared. Well, no matter!

If they flew into the sky, they could live in the clouds.

What would they eat in the clouds? There is nothing there but fluff and the occasional bird.

Hurry up and wait.

Merciful mother of moles...

It's a squash. I'm being attacked - or possibly romanced - by an angry squash.

Git back, y' cursed veggie!

There's a coupla big watermelons over in t'west corner that I wouldn't want t'get behind me.

There must've been a hole there in the wall!

Well, thank you, sir, for saving me from the evil squash.

No one in their right mind could fail to be fascinated by the prospect of ditch digging.

There's no such thing as a joyless root cellar.

Cheri, it's not paranoia when even the vegetables are out to get you.

I'm a demon! I'm a demon! Woo!

I always aspired to be a dirt fish...

Fire burn, but not being bad, just being fire.

Ed is not trusting god rats.

You said it, Ed.

I'll bet you diamonds to dolomitic conglomerates!

Gods big things, not safe.

Gastropodz rule.

Digging beats fishing a spear out of your spleen any day.

Goodness, is that my pickaxe in your gut? And is this your pickaxe in my eye?

There ought to be laws against smugness.

You know... once you get used to the searing pain, the flashing colors are really quite pretty...

Remember your roots.

Jane Fonda must wear a hat at all times.

But how could I forget? Nothing I remember is real.

Nothing happens, nobody comes, nobody goes, it's awful!

Gods are just no match for doctors.

Are all of your people so tactless, or just you?

Never trust anyone who speaks typewriter.

Wait - the men whose skins you were... when they died, did their shadows become deer?

I do not doubt that they would skin us, but they do not seem to mean any harm by it.

Your metaphor's two stories tall and has ropes wrapped around it.

If it is decided that I may continue to hunt you, I will tell you first.

Always double-check your math if there are explosives involved.

Beams of darkness streak across the sky, signals from the ancient satellite.

Interesting how 'trying to kill and eat someone' can after time become 'initial unpleasantness'.

Being good, explaining badly, is still better than being evil and is explaining well!

I like him. His spine sounds like daffodils.

They're quicker'n a greased porpoise in a sea 'o snot!

Narrowly escaping death through a clever use of undead vegetables...

What good is a god that doesn't fossilize?!

Oh, thank goodness. You'd hate to sit on a dead saint.

Haydrahlienne. Haydrahlienne. Who are you, Haydrahlienne?

My heart is in a jar upon the wall. Where is yours?

Lighting never was my strong point.

Oh, deary me, I seem to have gone deaf from the neck up.

Life was a lot easier when I just wanted to be a bird.

Hey! I'm ordinary as dirt!

Before we had awesome game controllers, we had sheep's knuckles.

Don't look at me. Stupid map doesn't even tell you how the air is supposed to smell.

Gag me with a spoon!

My darling, my carrion-scented flower, you gnaw my liver...

Yup, they'll get along like a house on fire. In the middle of an earthquake.

It's not just you, the ceiling really is melting.

I ate its shadow! It was flaky and moist!

'Data' is plural.

That... rock... looks nothing like a bunny. Neither does that one. What are the odds?

Why, oh, why is a sock worthy of note? Do peacocks wear socks?

Overshadowed by a sock. Destiny is harsh.

Heavenly voices make undecipherable noises.

Living in dreams isn't too bad, really, so long as you remember to wake up to eat... and sleep.

The whole world felt like an impending cave-in.

A friend might put a spear in your heart, but only an enemy will tell you it's for your own good.

Seriously, crawdads?

I have fifty books holding up my potted plant at home.

There's only one way to test this. Add a line.

What are the mathematics of tears?

I could say that 'talks with the fish people are floundering', but that would be wrong.

A man makes his own density.

We hope you do not die horribly. No. It would be hard to collect your skins. Very. Yes.

Grim Eyes, I love you, but you don't have the brains the Gods gave an eggplant.

It's a bug on a stick!

It will be well. You'll see. Here, you can hold my bug.

We all need someone who will let us hold their bug.

Count on you to find the cloud around the silver lining.

All I can see is death.

I have worn so many masks... I have forgotten which one is my real face.

The universe is perfect. Mess with it at your peril.

Fear drives the universe.

What are the ten radical isotopes?

No plan survives contact with life.

Reality is wider than a single mind.

I've received twelve urgent messages while you were dithering about.

I'm busy saving the world from bluetooths, thankyouverymuch!

Make good fertilizer, t' vampyres do.

In the eye of the storm, there is no way out, no escape.

Crisp as a cracker.

One should never be thanked for one's duty.

Unmatched sets. Pieces that don't go to anything in particular...

All who gain power are afraid to lose it.

Over time you will evolve into a cartoon character.

My code does not have bugs. It just develops random features.

Keep treating someone like they're normal, and eventually, they may turn out to be normal.

Take my advice. I don't use it anyway.

I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.

No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

Only the shallow know themselves.

Death is cold and empty and full of cheese waffles.

Santa Claus remains terrifying until children are about 3 years old.

Muses go splat.

Light and Darkness are Eternal. Nothing probably goes on forever, too.

She's climbing the wall again, nevermind all the playground equipment behind her.

WARNING: CONTAINS COLOURS THAT MAY HAVE AN ADVERSE AFFECT ON ACTIVITY AND ATTENTION IN CHILDREN

By God, we're the lamest aliens ever.

Yes, very tragic. Completely dead. No chance of ever finding him alive.

I used to want you dead. Now I just want you gone.

You keep what you kill.

Sometimes you have to drop a bomb on civilians to bring folks to the table.

If you are to be our voice, you must know our history.

Tell the spiders I don't want to tapdance!

What's the point of being better than everybody else if nobody else sees it?

I like my men like how I like my coffee - COVERED IN BEES.

We all lose our charms in the end, but diamonds... diamonds are a girl's best friend.

It is a well-known fact that a dog made of diamonds is a human's best friend.

I only speak the truth.

It's a paradox, you idiot. There is no right answer!

C and C++ are the chainsaws of the programming world.

People are always unhappy, and always dying.

The Greeks had it right. Gods are messed up.

Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.

Computers are rote learners. That's why they can't solve problems.

A common man marvels at uncommon things; a wise man marvels at the commonplace.

Enlightened trial and error wins out over lone genious.

Beliefs and desires are information, incarnated as configurations of symbols.

AI? What's intelligent about it? Might as well call it 'Artificial Stupidity'.

Meaning can cause and be caused.

We're rich. We don't care.

Computers are monumentally stupid.

It doesn't matter whether or not the moon is made out of cheese, just if the dog is pretty.

From freedom comes the power to ruin yourself.

Art? What do you mean? This is a table.

Casting means telling the computer, "Shut up, I know what I'm doing."

Opening a jar of a new brand of peanut butter will not vaporise the house.

A broken clock is right twice a day.

NANs are like zombies. Do any operation with a NAN and it becomes a NAN.

I don't like being adaptive and flexible. Why would I want my computer to be?

Zeros will always look like zeros.

The x86 is a disgusting cesspool of computer design.

They're trying to save you money. No fancy lobby, no elaborate welcome... no working computers.

It isn't so much a matter of having dexterity as being able to use whatever dexterity you have.

I like talking about my pain because it pisses the pain off.

You are an awful person, and I'm going to name a tomato after you. As penance.

It's turtles all the way down.

Your object of intent was to take of the world, was it not? Did you enlist the help of the ducks?

Everybody lives alone.

I am the catfish man I can't hear you!

It probably won a prize.

Once we have an explanation - correct or incorrect - we are complacent, at least for awhile.

Hello, do I smell a fairy?

All is well in the world of Rhin.

I'm going to go lie on the asphalt.

A verse was retooled into a bridge.

There will be expectations.

There are always expectations.

Square waves, square waves, I follow them with square waves.

The cords are modular.

The square root of rope is string.

According to the most advanced algorithms, the world's best name is Craig.

During their lifetimes, 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch.

Cumquat.

Today is tomorrow.

Tomorrow is yesterday.

We're so transparent, we're practically invisible.

I want to use my mental powers for the important things, not fritter them away on the mechanics.

We call them 'windows'. They aren't unusual.

Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can put off 'til today.

It's slower, if by 'slower' you mean your rocket won't explode and fall out of the sky.

I have some conspiracy theorists waiting for you in my closet.

Voting is in effect until the Foundation decides sufficient time has been wasted.

My pain belongs to the divine. It is like air. It is like water.

You blew up your own shop?!

In the old days, insane men wore blocks on their heads to be easily distinguished from theologians.

We have rights, Ben, including the right to be as stubborn or thick-headed as we want.

I'm not sleeping. I'm checking my eyelids for holes.

I'm charging by the head for this function, and you do have a head. For now.

This is a day of goats.

Exercise makes me sweat.

Darkness only shines in the light.

Light only shines in the darkness. Innocence is simply an excuse for the guilty.

Stars are the real Time Lords.

So.

One thing is certain: we're losing the peace. Which means a war might be our only hope.

The dress is fine. I don't like you.

It only works if folks say what they mean. How do you parse a metaphor?

It was fast because they basically kept pouring in more bottles of go faster.

I had to have her. And her vegetables.

Ah, the 60s... when the Ruskis were still trying to blow us all up, instead of trying sell us porn.

The operating system said, 'Oh, you naughty boy,' and killed it.

Pegasus, the one-eyed wonder fish.

More insidious than a creeping mediawiki...

There's no profit in jealousy.

Study fine art... hate art forever.

Heed the words of the Prophets.

You are the dreamer. And the dream.

Sometimes, you see a story, and you dream it. You become the story.

The dirty man has a hat.

We completely ignore the metaphors. But are these novel metaphors, or common lexical forms?

Illogic gate.

They didn't know what else to do but throw more junk into it.

Suffering is important in a honeymoon.

Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz.

We want to be able to get more work done in a shorter time so we can be sloppy.

Oh, come on! He only won because he didn't die first. Anyone can do that.

I opened his heart with a scissors. Had to see what was inside.

Wait, let me think... was I alone in Solitary? Why yes, I think I was.

C code. All this for C code.

During the Reckoning, the people will either suffer terribly or eat fruit.

I'm your mother! I can't leave you alone.

People who are fine don't write on walls.

The best ideas often come at inconvenient times.

Just put your favourite dead squirrel out on the street and watch what happens.

And then you have Hell, which is always so much more interesting than Heaven.

I'm not a god, I'm a security officer.

I'm sorry. It's just such an honour to be sitting here with a... security officer.

Why be a god if there's noone to worship you?

They are quick to judge and slow to forgive. They still have much to learn.

When someone says it is 'for the good of the public', you know they're trying to pull one over you.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law George. But unlike George, this plan just might work.

'Heuristic' - fancy word for 'guess'.

I don't think I think as much as I think I think I like to think. I think?

There will be duplicates and overlap, and there will be holes.

People who find poop jokes funny have something wrong with their right brain.

There he's being there on the ceiling there.

The root of the matter is far simpler than you make it out to be. People are lazy. And idiots.

When is a client a client?

He spread the warm bread with socks.

The cats bake.

My karma ran over my dogma.

All life is suffering.

Nobody should die on an empty stomach.

Nobody expects the spanish legal system.

Abuse no longer redirects to User:Spang.

Do you think I'm so stupid I go out my own front door?

In this part of the world, the children die before we do. We need to wait for them to die.

We will talk about cows in chapter 9. Zombie cows.

Your system is just chillin', you know?

Not your momma's PhD.

Hereabouts we have another name for the person who ignores his seat belt: the multiple-organ donor.

All roads eventually lead to the Great Path. Many cross along the way.

A lot of freaks, I hear. And people from Arkansas.

Dead aliens off the set!

The sentences didn't ruin the book for me. The book ruined the book for me.

They told stories of a Wikipedia where policy pages were short and people were friendly.

I've never shaved a moose.

A whack of storage.

Perception goes beyond the information given.

Wikipedia is not concise.

The operating system is dumb.

I didn't know what it meant. It was just glowy and fun and it felt like Christmas.

I zatted a jaffa!

You know, in some cultures, thinking with one's brain is considered an honourable thing to do.

How can you regret losing a memory you cannot even remember?

He was no dragon. Fire cannot kill a dragon.

There is no "I" in team, but there is an eye in "eye surgery".

Anyone who isn't us is an enemy.

It's like a free ride when you've already paid.

I am going to curl up in bed with the largest sandwich I can find.

Welcome to the future! Nothing's changed.

There is no point in trolling this wiki. It trolls itself.

Who the hell bitches about intransitive verbs in order to fit in?

Fish are terrible, horrible creatures and they should be exterminated from the face of the earth.

Trust is hard to earn and easy to lose.

I'd question why sociopathy is cool, but then again, I'm not that hip.

Wear it like armour and it can never be used to hurt you.

I like to take and sew my pants up with pudding.

An advanced hypnotist may be able to summon a train out of a television program.

I knew I shouldn't have named my cat 'Psychologist'.

Is it a rabbit or a rock?

The odds are good that the goods are odd.

It's like... broken lightbulbs, fresh-cut grass, and the inside of a raisin, all bundled together.

There is technically no medical condition called 'crazy'.

Can mobile homes rampage?

Real men are supposed to use the command line.

It is a simplification. A narrative fallacy.

I am eat cow.

Needs more cowbell.

What is the history of history?

Anybody wanna help me milk my cat?

Murdering people is heroic.

I like her. She gave me the sky and asked nothing in return.

What is a database but data? Everything is data.

I'm not a recluse. People just don't like visiting me.

Assert anything and there will be a counterargument.

Only once did I kill with meaning. Never again.

Warm sands, soft skies, clear seas, and everlasting luck.

It's indecent for your punctuation to run around topless.

Can you help me?

Damn that glue! I hope that doesn't happen during the wake.

Never believe what you publish. Never publish what you believe.

You have all the weapons you need. Now fight.

Accusations of admin abuse are usually correct; an admin is being abused.

Sweet dreams are made of this.

Go ask Alice. I think she'll know.

Error 500 - Internal server error

If you can remember the story, you can tell it.

I feel like everything is wrong and I'm trying to ignore it.

If you tell the story long enough, you become the story.

I live in this nice dreamland where people use their brains.

You've got demons in your closet.

Die without regrets.

You know what the music means.

Every man has his price.

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of the expanding bureaucracy.

I'm sorry this is so long. I didn't have time to make it shorter.

I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now.

A middle-aged dentist with an ulcer is not exactly evil personified.

I would suggest that everybody take a few days off from throwing things at each other.

Demons I get. People are crazy.

Revenge isn't worth much if you end up dead.

What is wrong with me, mother? Something must be wrong! I wish...

I am your mother! I don't have to be reasonable.

Any company that makes the Queen's knickers deserves an article.

You can expect a miracle, but in the meantime you have to work your butt off.

You're a walking encyclopedia of weirdness.

I'm Batman.

I don't like being singled out at birthday parties, much less by God.

People are people because they're miserable bastards and never get what they want.

Kneel before Todd!

Something is caught in my throat. I think it's my throat.

Did you try turning it off and then on?

Angels are like shady politicians from planet Vulcan.

Walk the dead streets and see what there is so see. Where is the mystery and where is the end?

I wish this were a TV show.

Fern is the lunatic at the end of the block with a goat and too many spatulas.

They're not like the Loch Ness monster. Dragons aren't real.

The recruiters who use "grep" to evaluate resumes seem to like it.

Tear gas? No, it's cat food. Why do you ask?

You, sir, are a credit to your trailer park.

This is the imperative clue to solve the entire puzzle.

Why do humans and moths behave differently?

Why don't we just smell other humans?

Throw it away, it's just a piece of rubbish.

When a food is said to be a mosquito repellent, something's probably wrong with it.

With arbitrary lines drawn invisibly the boundaries are defined.

Within madness words are key.

All escape artists are claustrophobic. That's why we want to escape.

There are many forms of alien, some more subtle than others.

I do not think you want to know the answer. You are only asking for the sake of asking.

Like cow.

We're going to be corpses. Might as well be ridiculous-looking corpses.

It's okay. We were all dragons.

Why, everything I have told you is true. Even the lies.

Interminably the madness looms outward, percolating with need.

If only, if only, the woodpecker sighs, the bark on the trees were as soft as the skies...

It can giggle all it wants, but the galaxy's not getting any of our bourbon.

He's the Madgod. You expect it to make sense?

Excuse me, have you seen Calufax? It's sort of a planet.

Remind me to never ask a hippie for good ideas.

It is the tortured who turn into torturers.

I've just been wandering for awhile now, collecting baubles of shiny words...

What do you call pictures in your head that you can't make go away?

All secrets are deep. All secrets become dark. That's in the nature of secrets.

Never trust a man with dirty fingernails.

It helps if they think you're crazy. They don't argue.

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going.

Madness is Forever.

Thus is the evolution of presence.

Do you think there is a story here, that if you keep turning the page, it will all become clear?

There are no answers, only questions.

There are no questions, only answers.

The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

Bubbling upward, wobbling outward, a dream overtakes the bowl.

I am become cat, destroyer of tuna.

Think of it as one giant rack for mankind.

Research has shown that some men enjoy viewing women's breasts.

Too bad it isn't true.

You have a secret.

In this place of words, words are all we have. But so it is throughout, is it not?

You're so easy to read, but the book is boring me.

They're a gift. It's rude to keep throwing them up.

I'm a programmer. Of course I reuse code.

I have a brick and I... don't know how to use it.

It's part of a leaf in the tree that grows upside down.

Welcome to the magical world of frictionless planes and perfect dictionaries.

I am a fangirl; hear me SQUEE!

I pay for your silence.

I'm sorry to have inconvenienced you all so much by trying to be productive and helpful.

You're very well groomed for a crazy person.

Yes, nitpicking at someone when they're already annoyed is very helpful. Thank you.

Think of... daisies! A field of daisies! With vampiric squirrels rampaging everywhere!

There is no such thing as justice. The best that one can hope for is revenge.

I can't put it up, because the madness is down!

I hate your logic brain.

Our technology is so advanced it can often seem broken.

Despair is a boneless cat.

You think of your user as a moronic knuckle-dragging idiot. And then there's the manager...

Everything has a cost.

Your sweet, sweet words turn into nothing more than bitter orange wax in my ears.

The sentries won't mess up again now that they're dead.

God made me an atheist. Who are you to question his wisdom?

All standards are arbitrary. This is why they must be standardised.

I happen to have this minor condition called limb amputation.

Be sure to follow all safety protocols... as soon as I make them up.

We're talking about Lyrithya, here, not someone with a sense of decorum.

I have to burn a hole in the fire.

A chair never sits. It stands all its life. And the yellows crawl across the carpet...

The dreams tend to gather there, you know. Well, the sleepy half of them, at least.

Deep in the earth are potatoes, and they talk and long for light.

When we die we cannot breathe, for death is a tight sweather, and we become dust under the coach.

I don't want to be dead. I want to be a firefighter.

A hill goes both up and down. Simultanously.

A little bird carries its legs where it goes, for only a bird can lift itself.

The bottom of the sea is completely black, although it's only transculent water.

Fish blink their eyes for they are always wet and you cannot see it when they cry.

Then the Thermonuclear Banhammer of Overreaction came down on all concerned.

Perhaps I can fly when I sleep?

Oooh, reality... I try to avoid that.

I certainly hope I'm Gorr. I'm wearing his underwear!

Something happened here but I have no idea what because there's too much scrollback.

Hell is other people.

'Most' is a perfectly compelling statistic.

Become a programmer, they said. It'll be fun, they said.

And so the crazy refactoring process sees the sunlight after some months in the dark!

I'm afraid this Really Useful Book isn't being terribly useful at the moment.

Forsooth. Methinks yon lass hath a screw loose within her addled skull.

All models are wrong, but some are useful.

When dealing with clients, it's never quite clear if it's a bug or something they wanted.

That's not important. I want scala. I want it!

'Broken' has different meanings in different contexts.

The dreamer is dead, and her dream died with her.

Oh, I'm not a developer. I'm just insane.

This guy is either an idiot or a genious. I like him.

You take the servers. And you make more servers. And then there are servers.

My love for you is like a rampaging elephant.

The man has tenure. You can't make tenured professors do anything.

We are Wikimedia. We are legion. We do not forget. We do not forgive.

Only madness knows my name.

Home systems will become more complex. Home users will not.

I dream the dreamer's dream.

If you need more than 3 levels of indentation, you're screwed anyway and should fix your program.

My toes have curled in contempt and disgust.

I looked to the future. There weren't none.

I love it when you talk dirt.

You think you've seen it all, and then someone raises a statement that's even more upsetting.

I want to see something uninspiring. Do your best to be uninspired.

Truth is singular. Its 'versions' are mistruths.

At least we should be fine until the country goes bankrupt.

We don't need a three-way admin collision to show people that we are uncoordinated.

We need to save ourselves from saving ourselves.

This is the place to be for the end of the world show.

Puking on the audience no longer in vogue.

You're the Californian; doesn't everybody go to the beach?

If these are bedclothes, then there must be bodies underneath. There's always a body somewhere.

This world has a basic circularity. Everything changes, everything comes around.

This world, too, is not the one I dreamed.

Take that memory and set it aside.

You have 18 FOOD UNITS.

If we are the branches of some great tree, and every bud is a decision, how does it grow?

I have seen only darkness. I do not know the light; all I have is the faith that it is there.

From womb to tomb, our lives are not our own.

Toilets in Japan are generally more advanced than toilets in other developed nations.

It is not odd for Taiwan to host restaurants with unusual themes.

Warning. This gallery is protected by fake video cameras.

Even public dancing was allowed.

I'm afraid we've all contracted an acute case of imbecillus. We'll have to amputate.

As I've stated before, I'm not on Facebook and I have no friends.

It's like asking a junkie to do a chemical assay of heroin.

We need more RAM on the Cloud. Download more RAM.

I hope the place is at least livable now. Good luck with, your, um... murders.

Worst god in ages. So bad she got kicked out of the God Impersonation Guild. Died too much.

Tirna's me favourite god. She tried to kill everyone. I aspire to that.

Probably I'll murder him one day. Maybe with a chair.

Is it not strange, the evolution of time?

We are not who we were.

You could restart the server... instead of murdering it?

Argentina is subject to a variety of climates.

At first I was impressed that it had an API. Then I tried using it.

Those ponies are really vicious.

Choice and consensquence. In life and in death this is all we have. There is no justice, no reward.

Life is not fair.

Consider the order of things. Everything was placed here for a reason.

The garden is a repository of masks, dreams, memories, and lichen-encrusted frying pans.

It's like normal people don't like having grape jelly licked off their necks.

The sample is deprecated.

When people wonder why I don't like the guy, this is it.

Something about penance for puppy dog eyes.

You don't know me. Never have, never will.

Speak loudly into the brick.

Not compatible with LiquidThreads.

Bats are eating my legs.

When something means this much, we always return to it. It is always there.

It takes the ham out of spam.

Steal? What do you mean? Just creep in and have a go at taking it out.

Mudcrabs know only hatred.

Walk always in the light, or we will drag you to it.

I'm not brainstorming, I'm having a brain hurricane.

Only to return home to a country full of strangers wearing familiar faces...

There's no glory in war. They only tell that to soldiers so they will risk their lives.

I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee.

Dragons were never gone. They were just invisible and very, very quiet.

Fish cannot breathe peas. They truly are the worst fruit.

We can't all be nectarines.

Darkness rises when silence dies.

Discipline in the lesser aids in denial of the greater.

All we know anymore is pain and loss. What do we have left?

All I cared about was riding narwhals and sleeping in honeycombs and drinking babies' tears.

When life gives you lemons, go murder a clown.

It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.

You could just swing a pickaxe into someone's face, but people tend to see that coming.

We are the chicken inside the egg, but also the dirt.

I am well. I will be well. Well to be within a well.

Its siren song keeps calling you back.

There is no justice, no reward.

YOUR SKULL IS MIIIINE!

Sleep is the cousin of death.

I guess this is what I get for adopting a pile of crazy dragons as my family.

I like this world. I don't want it to end.

One of the perks of being insane is you get to do whatever you want.

The impossible will take a little while.

I'll make a note not to do things that are wrong in the future.

In the world we enter when we go online, there's little place for the fuzziness of contemplation.

Everything is a bug.

The plant does its own drangling.

Do you know the meaning of light? It's dreaming, dear sister. Dreaming.

I've beaten the archive table to death. I guess it's time to move onto revision...

Show biz is such an exciting life. Some day we'll give in and try to experience it.

Backed by a team of angry developers...

To hell with dignity. I'll leave when the job is done.

Never mind that the first is unusual and the second stupid, they should still function correctly.

I allow myself this vanity because... well, hell, I'm the only one here.

I slept through the last apocalypse.

I recall that day very clearly, in that I recall that I slept during most of that day.

I had fun once. It was horrible.

You don't have to argue with people who won't change their minds.

It doesn't matter what you yell so long as you yell loudly enough.

Insanity and madness are different. Peas and carrots are different.

That is horribly worded. It increases my rage.

Life is short. Have an affair.

Mister Crossbow is not your friend.

If there isn't a problem, that's when you know you have a problem.

Ambiguity is not an opening for insight but a bug to be fixed.

Maybe I'm just a worrywart.

If it doesn't fit, you're not shoving hard enough.

Everyone knows that canyon wrens never venture east of Texas.

I am going to kill myself with a shovel.

It's an acronym, not a Rorschach test.

If you rub an Orc up and down on a goat-hide you can make him stick to the ceiling.

Holy backlog batman.

Surely someone has noticed the Board is missing a member.

Beware of dev.

Hygiene is harder than heroics.

Captain, we're approaching a Plot Contrivance.

Suffering isolates us. Loving presense prings us back, makes us strong.

There is no bag of proof.

We're all in this together, so let's support each other as best we can until darkness falls.

We all learn to live with the inevitable.

Life is just a momentary transition out of oblivion into oblivion.

He poked that thing and then some things happened.

How shall we, the murderers of all murderers, comfort ourselves?

We must build our lives upon the firm foundation of unyielding despair.

Happy database error day!

I'm not your target audience. I don't know what your target audience is, but I'm not it.

The DNS is handled by CATS.

Oh, and this is confidential.

This is why I love family. It's why I would do anything for family.

They are my dreams. They are the best of me. They are better than I could ever be.

Ick! God cooties!

We cannot restrict threading. The users will not allow it. Not if they notice.

Logic will get you nowhere.

All stories are true. All stories are lies. This is no different.

We pursue our lives with varying degrees of sloth and energy.

Leading a human life is a full-time occupation.

Reverse the polarity.

Don't quit your day job.

I can maybe erase twenty people.

I'm too astute. I forgot what I was doing.

My plasmodium is voluptuous.

If there is no randomness then there is no free will.

It's not like I'm worried. If I could think straight about anything I'd be worried, though.

Also we need a bug tracker somewhat.

The dress was beyond hope, but saving the world should be a good excuse to buy a new one.

I didn't know stones had such pretty singing voices...

Pushed by a melody, warmed by a tune, I must be the luckiest cloud in all of creation.

A fairytale? Dear gods, this was worse than she'd thought.

People generally see what they look for, and hear what they listen for.

I'm not a human. I'm a lunatic! Whatever it is, it must be much better than being a human.

9 out of 10 voices in my head tell me I'm insane... the 10th voice hums the tetris theme.

There are no gods. No gods worthy of our freedom.

It started nicely enough. Most nightmares do, and mine in particular.

Dreams, and nightmares, are not made for rational thought.

It stops being AI when the algorithm is found.

Warning: Sanctions ahead

Manholes are coming.

Between the idea and the reality, between the concept and the creation, falls the shadow.

Voicemail was a marketing ploy.

She appeared to be making a ribcage out of wool.

Your path is made out of choices, and those choices are your own.

Nine-tenths of the universe is the paperwork.

He was, he always said, only in it for the eyeballs.

Things either exist or they don't. I am very clear about that. I have medicine.

This is kind of like going on a blind date with your body.

Memories of great times I can't remember...

Threading: Sending people to die.

This is the way the world ends: Not with a bang but a whimper.

The target audience is males and females aged zero and up.

Let's make better mistakes tomorrow.

This is not an exit.

It's just daft in typical WMF manner.

Power is power.

What is dead may never die.

Shadows cannot live in the darkness. They are servants of light.

Do not cross this stick.

Gravity keeps doing its gravity thing a long way away from the earth.

Do you think that organizations are run like Wikipedia articles?

He's as dumb as he dresses.

You're drinking embalming fluid.

Grok notwithstanding, I insist you wear shoes for this conversation.

Regional deficiencies for toast can be one sided.

I got to jolk up the ant vomit a little, you see, so could you slap me?

It's written in Old. Before they invented spelling.

I must say you're a real brick.

There is no justice. Just us.

Is the world a plant, an animal, or a knitting loom?

This article is burly men unfolding umbrellas.

I shipped my penis with an 18-wheeler.

Find what you love and let it kill you.

It doesn't matter what a movement stands for, it matters what a movement does.

Bring me a bucket, and I'll show you a bucket!

I plucked a hair from the head of a dying baby! Let me give it to you!

It licks the panes and smokes the glass.

Dig! I'll know your lost unknown and rise to your depths.

When the top level was built, no more could be placed. It was and is the maximal apex.

How long will it be sung? My feet were set upon the rock but it turned to mud and drew me down.

Does it blend?

How does one queue cats?

The divine being is the ultimate author of sin.

All of it is true. Even the falsehoods. Especially the falsehoods.

Lentil soup will wash away all wrongs.

It takes nothing to join the crowd. It takes everything to stand alone.

Mike doesn't have friends so much as people he's willing to stand next to.

Men aren't generally good or bad. They're just men.

The silence must be on the ceiling.

Smoke and mirrors, love. Smoke and mirrors.

Bonkers.

Slaughterfish!

Zaori is a dragon and a server and above all else a really bad idea.

I killed it.

Unlinked 2 orphaned pipes.

Unfortunately most friends think undying agreement is how to form healthy relationships.

Arguing would take too much effort. I'm too tired to play myself.

You can't ignore that half the population exists. It's not realistic.

I'm not interested in swordfighting your fart, Russ.

And by the way, did you know that some ducks have huge penises?

I feel fuzzy.

I love octopus dependencies!

She's an Uncyclopedian. An unprofessional funnywoman.

Be just and if you can't be just be arbitrary.

My reasons to live were my reasons to die, but at least they were mine.

Nothing is not anything.

An investment firm offers mutual funds with stocks chosen by a dart-wielding blindfolded monkey.

Time really does flow.

The next world will have to fend for itself.

We're on a mission from Glod.

I remember everything. As if it happened only tomorrow. Everything.

He had a cough that sounded almost solid.

For some money I won't follow you home.

Have you got change for a penny?

The one they called the Duck Man had a duck on his head. No one questioned it.

There may be a logical reason.

You are among men who can hold a lengthy conversation with a door.

My uterus!

There's no implication if there's no thought development.

Everyone's equal when they're dead.

Self interest is not in anyone's best interest.

I survive on the hatred of those that oppose me.

Their greatest strength is their façade of weakness.

Whether the first moment has an actual thickness is another question.

Obviously the universe is rock-permitting.

We are the crown of creation.

This is the universe. Take it or leave it, it just is.

As someone who regularly goes out looking like the Rise of the Swamp Thing, I can attest.

I'm going to just immerse myself in my career and buy lots of cats.

I love standards, there are so many to choose from.

Idiocy is not a communicable disease.

Divide by cucumber error. Please reinstall universe and reboot.

I'd tell your fortune, but the words don't rhyme.

Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

Oh, it's largely intuitive. Obviously you have to spend a lot of time learning it first, though.

Anthill Inside.

I do ferns.

I resent the implication that I am solely fern-fixated.

Ferns aren't easy. You need a steady hand.

One of the symptoms of those going completely yo-yo was that they broke out in chronic cats.

Old gods take on new jobs.

'Panic!' is your solution to everything, isn't it?

My agreeing isn't requisite to compliance.

Civility is important, but it's no substitute for a well-equipped, modern air force.

Why did mortals invent religion but for what they fear to lose?

What you whispered should be screamed.

So the US is about to go to war, and still no OTRS upgrade.

Don't argue against them. Argue for the people watching.

This white whale has sailed, and I urge you to drop your harpoon.

Everything is forbidden in Finland, or if it isn't, then it's taxed.

All men are created equal, but some are more equal than others.

I'll look for you when the war is over - an hour and a half from now.

They staple the fins to another shark.

The Dream is a nightmare. See the world for what it is - episodes of pain ending in untimely death.

I don't know if that was a free action. It may have just been a brain thing.

Of course I'm afraid. I'm not an idiot.

Someone killed a chicken.

Namira covets your ugliness.

I can see. The world beyond burns my mind.

Naked women holding nunchucks are dangerous.

Are you saying that kangaroos need to be tied down?

Inside every living person is a dead person waiting to get out.

Coal, perhaps.

The fish guts line isn't going to fly, I'm afraid.

I am blown away by how complex this stupid thing is for doing something so simple.

It means what is always said or believed by people who think only a little or not at all.

Maybe he wasn't crazy, just insane.

Too many voices weigh heavy on a man's heart.

Please read what the person said before immediately disagreeing with them.

I will show you fear in a handful of dust.

World's greatest saw-player! Sounds Hawaiian doesn't it!

Go, then, there are other worlds than these.

We may even be able to sleep without bullets stuffed into our ears.

Folks around here can grow almost anything, as long as it's corn or beans.

The list grows.

Eddie had killed it with illogic.

Sometimes color is a coincidence.

I'm not little, I'm five.

God is petty and doesn't like to be called wrong.

Courage, arrogance... same thing.

The bullets in his ears blocked the voices completely.

Dead is the gift that keeps on giving.

You will be taken to a room with a moose.

In a perfect environment it's perfect.

It's still all toilet paper to me.

If it's in your heart, it might as well come out your mouth.

The column of truth has a hole in it.

The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.

Compassion means not being arrogant when other people aren't as compassionate as you.

Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate.

In the Land of Memory, the time is always Now.

The floormat proves it.

No community is easier to govern than one that rejects the very concept of community.

I'm here because someone mentioned rifles!

Okay, put your back into it! A Watcher scoffs at gravity!

I wear the cheese. It does not wear me.

Mom... why are you living in the walls?

I made lemonade, and now I'm learning how to play Majhong.

A mouse is playing with my knees.

Oh - we're thinking up a plan for world domination. The main component: A coffee maker that thinks.

We've got important work here. A lot of filing. Giving things names.

A forced smile is emotional deoderant.

Hi, I'm Andy Sayler and I'm going to talk to you about moving mice off your screen.

Please, please help me find my goddamn bible.

I know how to age a painting.

You're dead. So get some rest.

Damn. That is quite the mental lag.

All my art is awful. Hence I need to make more.

Cat lick butt.

It's almost heaven for those who like their meat with a side of meat chased with a bit of meat.

This is a group hug and you're part of the group.

The mating habits of mid-level government employees - totally captivating.

Filtering non-linear things is a bad idea.

Why does time go forward?

Stretching and folding is important.

In a real physical system you can never prove anything.

It depends on the eigenstuff and actuator capabilities.

Cows live here.

Nothing says springtime like a bunch of light-starved begonias.

You shame yourself.

Statistics do not lie. People use statistics to tell lies.

The expected in-stock date is Invalid Date.

He was afraid he had already hired all five women in computer science.

You have an omnipotent cheese god.

He just wants two alligators who love each other forever.

Oh dear, I think I'm becoming a god.

It's not the brightest mind in the bucket.

Identity theft is in an hour. It's always packed; they hand out cookies.

I've got a hunger only tacos can stop.

Trust the chicken sexers.

Excellent. Let's make some LSD.

Strangely profound for a narrative about a sponge.

If it is said, it is bread.

It is the fundamental theorum of why the universe makes sense.

Stuff happens - we are the playthings of chance.

We're all just cosmic junk.

Eternity is an eternal present.

If it's true then it's too late not to be true.

There is no duality, no battle between good and evil, simply an encompassing whole.

We are great because we know we are wretched.

Anything's possible if you have a magic carpet.

Ideas can be absorbed through osmosis.

Her name was Coraline Henderson.

Walter, put the cow away.

You have a badger on your head.

That's him. Right there. With a badger on his head.

Take me to your centrifuge.

Beware of echo chambers.

The are times when the only choices you have left are bad ones.

Nature doesn't recognise good or evil. It recognises only balance and imbalance.

I want to marry your words then raise a family of little baby words.

My heart isn't cold. It's broken.

The choices you made are what led you here.

Emily is good at remembering.

The war is long over.

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

Tell me - what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?

It does not do to dwell on life and forget to dream.

Never use your sword to spread peanut butter and jelly on crackers.

Of course it's happening inside your head. But why should that mean it's not real?

The fireplace is full of nails.

It's hard to have family when you cannot remember who anyone is.

Man will maintain its hostility. Have this faith.

Go for the eyes, Boo. Go for the eyes!

You'll excuse me if I didn't want to argue with a guy with a giant block of tofu on his head.

Zombiebaron is the prizes.

The computer is a moose.

I thought I knew what was going on. Then I thought I knew. Then I knew I knew. Now I don't.

Eh, mercy. In my experience it usually involves a shotgun.

I will dream like a god.

We must always remember our war dead by burning meat over open fires.

May your steps be relentless.

I'm looking for my past. I seem to have misplaced it.

Let's be honest - I don't always think things through.

It's not lost. Just forgotten.

Whips of words! Letters chained together, wounds most verbose!

Most say something in a language they can only speak sideways.

Incoherent fire disspates all contingency.

It seems to work and I can do crazy things and... and man, having a dragon fall on you hurts.

I am alive because that one is dead. I exist because I have the will to do so.

Working for them is hell and the pay sucks.

You can't win against a unicorn, you just can't.

The prodigal murderer returns.

I entered "a potato" and this is what mediawiki spat out.

An intelligent species would at least find someone to complain to.

Indeed, many things are not impossible until they've been tried.

In a library the books leak, and learn from each other.

There could be pineapples. I wouldn't go near it.

You did it! And you didn't die, not even a little bit!

He was not going to be found wanting when duty called. He did not intend to be found at all.

I looked into the heart of darkness, and I ate it all.

I think I smell a skunk. It smells like tuna.

A drunk girl's thoughts are a sober girl's cows.

Welcome to the ship of fools.

Don't look at me in that tone of voice!

It's very easy to manage to kill yourself if you've truly lost all hope.

One may be before, one after. It's uncertain. The world state is uncertain.

Logic is an oppressive tool.

Toggle the narcissistic internet slot machine.

Something is wrong with this world.

Encouraging functional behavior is abusive.

Even just having one person on your side is enough.

Embrace your sides.

As man of the house, I am entitled to be the one wearing the meat pants.

This water is important. It means something. The rattle is relevant, the coldness solid.

The words are sideways, the ideas jagged.

Pufferfish.

She had so much dirt under her nails there was an earthworm under one of them.

We have some great guests lined up today. As soon as I remember who they are, I'll let you know.

One was the loneliest number. Then zero killed it.

It is the truth. It will remain true whether you believe it or not.

Reverse cunning, indistinguishable from utter stupidity.

It's like climbing a rubber band as a unit of measurement.

There are times when it does not pay to declare one's sanity.

Look up the study of LSD. It is around here somewhere.

Have you ever seen any of this evolution happening?

Things that happen do not stay happened.

He was only insane on the outside.

The luggage was lost.

No worries.

I used to make snakes out of clay when I was a little boy. Doing the feet was the hard part.

The voices are never usually this precise.

The new day is a great big fish.

Even the priests have given up trying to explain it.

We are in the deep crack. It couldn't be worse if it were raining arseholes.

Seven people in robes made a decision.

Precedent is the law of the land.

This has been here long enough. It will be here longer still.

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want.

It's the clash between the seriousness and the perspective. The view from nowhere...

Need to be noticeable, to stand out...

To be maximally powerful, this must include the power to choose evil.

Absolutely power corrupts absolutely.

All power is relative. All things come at a cost.

This would be easier in mobile.

Nothing worse than stubbed toes!

From infinite... to finite? Power explains things properly. Has rules, limits, necessities.

The law of total probability can be found elsewhere.

How did the moon get there?

Why aren't you in a pit of boiling tar?

He is offending my religion by not being in a pit of boiling tar.

I went through the motions until I was about thirty, and then it just hit me like a two-by-four.

You're daft but you ain't insane. There's worser things.

Masks conceal one face, but they reveal another. The one that comes out only in darkness.

She engaged in whatever she engaged in.

I don't mind having problems. I just don't want to be there when they happen.

PHP explains a potato.

Look, I can explain. We got a bit carried away. We were a bit too creative in our thinking.

You're trapped in chains of goldfish.

Time is a drug. Too much of it will kill you.

Certainty. I used to be certain. Now I'm not so sure.

The real truth must sometimes be protected by a labyrinth of lies.

It's not my dream. I always dream of a giant carrot chasing me through a field of lobsters.

You get dreams from cats. Stroke them with a rod of copper.

Men should die for lies. The truth is too precious to die for.

I am the gender police. Your gender is stupid.

Blimp. It must be a blimp. How do I make a blimp? It shall of course explode.

The songs of our ancestors guide us and detain us.

Some pie sometimes.

See a pin and pick it up, and all day long you'll have a pin.

This place is a tomb of unheard words. They strive to be heard.

You can't have a secret order without robes.

I reasoned that if I destroyed the universe in one go, no-one would know.

This is past. Past stays past. But other things change.

It does something to Boris' mad horse brain.

Any mail addressed to a god goes to his or her or its temple.

The masks show us for what we are. Faces are unimportant.

Death is fractional, just like life.

Nobody saw that.

The sky was a horrible morass of fluffy white clouds strewn across a lurid abyss of blue.

I love you.

We're all just folk.

Eapheorod stepped into the universe and had always been.

Pick up the phone booth and aisle.

He wasn't insane, but it was clear that mostly, for him, the world happened elsewhere.

Mind the squid. We're a bit puzzled about that, actually.

Don't try to fire a goat from a bow. Not good.

I am not interested in names. I am interested only in deeds.

Remember always this. As you will it, so it shall be.

It's not a family dinner unless your cardigans are touching.

Don't shimmer at me like that. I have a gun, you know.

I dream in purple.

Marketing MAKES NO SENSE. That's marketing. That's the fucking definition of marketing.

All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again.

You get a wonderful view from the point of no return.

At some point it doesn't matter. It all sucks.

There is no such thing as 'just a psycho'.

The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it's taken place.

Evil can't be scientifically defined. It's an illusory moral concept that doesn't exist in nature.

There's a flood. And a storm. Don't worry about it.

Have a bullet for free.

Not even natural selection can take place here. The world is being engulfed in "truth."

You coppers and your evidence. You always let it confuse everything.

Stories exist independently of their players.

They're meth labs. They explode.

He who was living is now dead. We who were living are now dying... with a little patience.

I have spoken and that is final. Shut up leave me alone I'm drinking.

Prepare to don the behind hat.

We've got a lot of experience not having any experience.

You should be distracted! Distracted is good.

Three can keep a secret if two are dead.

Bugger all this for a lark.

It's far too early in the morning for it to be early in the morning.

All anyone gets in a mirror is themselves. But what you gets in a good gumbo is everything.

You can't make happiness. All you can do is make an ending.

One man's logic is another man's crazy.

What could we possibly find here that is worse than we can imagine?

If you win, say nothing. If you lose, say less.

We exist in dreams and nightmares. Easier to live that way.

For that piece you'll have to follow me to the spanking room.

A weapon? Why would anyone want to invent a weapon?

Do you know what else is progressive? Dementia.

Yer buggrit.

There never was an age in which so many people were able to write badly.

I am not who I was, nor are we all. So it is to live.

These are the words of Sherandris of Kenning Vos, King that was, and heart of my heart.

I like books that make me think and people who change my mind.

If you know me in real life and you hate my guts, chances are I feel just the same about you.

I'm afraid it's serious hypertext.

Solve the mystery, save the princess.

The world is round; you may repeat yourself.

Necessary human rights movements are never popular ones, for obvious reasons.

Shame is not a weapon of rational rebuttal. It's simply a tool to inflict pain.

Worlds were made so the light could speak to us.

It is hard to go too far. It is hard to go too far.

A personal choice that decreases your cognitive abilities may put you at risk.

Now for the mandatory ranting.

You may not be interested in war, but war is very interested in you.

Pain is strong. Friends are more strong.

Knowledge is a mirror.

'Morrowind in space' is the greatest three-word phrase I've ever heard in my life.

A half finished book is, after all, a half-finished love affair.

There is a natural order to this world, and the truth is this order must be protected.

Git happens.

To say that something is silly is to say it is part of the world.

After a certain age you shouldn't slide down holes in the ground to talk to little men.

I'm armed. Like a naked savage.

The walls have eyes and walk occasionally.

Decrucify the angel or I'll melt your face.

How dare you endanger my face!

A life without cause is a life without effect.

Only an invisible key could open an invisible wall.

Don't look! Quick! Think of a yellow, rubber duck!

So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause.

Everything is grey. Everything melts away. I am alone in the universe. I dissolve.

The problem about your assumptions is that you don't know what you're talking about.

Been down so long it means the world to me.

Change your head. Was it a good dream? Did I say that?

Excuse me, but have you considered the angle of your repose?

Open your eyes, and then open your eyes again.

It was about home, and mothers, and good times gone past, and faces no longer there.

You have this thing you call... boredom? That is the rarest talent in the universe!

When you're outnumbered, at least you can be indiscriminate in what you target.

Suppose gravity developed a personality. Suppose it decided to like people.

997 Illegal possession of a controlled unary operator.

PROGRAM HAS DISAPPEARED INTO THE BLACK LAGOON

All numerical output is in butchered roman numerals.

Progress was a wonderful thing. It just went on too long.

Dreams are true while they last, and do we not live in dreams?

Eurostar trains will now only be safe when the public itself is eliminated.

I'm a very neat monster.

Normal people are so hostile. But not her.

A sister is a sister is a sister.

I'm not so much doing this to you as I'm doing it for me.

Nothing stays buried.

I would love to eat your toast.

Darn darn darn. Sugar sugar sugar. Pooty pootity poot.

Just because something is a metaphor doesn't mean it can't be real.

What can the harvest hope for, if not for the care of the reaper man?

I remember when all this will be again.

Rum.

Is it creepy, or just what friends do?

No one is untouchable.

I'm secretly a giant chicken. I eat pie for a living.

We are here, and this is now.

Criminals don't obey the law. It's more or less a requirement for the job.

It's like the mall lifeform all over again.

Truth! Justice! Freedom! Reasonably priced Love! And a Hard-Boiled Egg!

I have received the badly-written note of the banshee.

I'm not a human, I'm a sheep. Probably explains a lot.

I am the sum of all condiments.

I just wanted to overthow Gerrit and stick things up AuthPlugin and bathe in fish.

I'm not terribly in the loop with myself at the moment.

I like fighting big men. There's more of them to bite.

Plans are what people make instead of thinking.

Whatever happens stays happened.

There is no more time, even for cake.

The cake is over. You have reached the end of cake.

There is a badger in the privy.

We won. That's the important thing.

We create our own destiny every day we live.

I accept nothing. Nothing is inevitable.

It's not natural, the countryside. Far too many trees. Never could stand it.

People underestimate bees.

There used to be such simple directions, back in the days before they invented parallel universes.

What Congress don't know won't hurt them, it'll hurt us.

It'll be like having our cake and kicking it too.

This presentation has been cancelled on account of death. Yours.

Killing, unless absolutely necessary, is a sign of stupidity and weakness.

Reality never lives up to fantasy.

Fantasy never lives up to reality.

Killing is a good way to get the voices to stop.

A photograph is a secret about a secret. The more it tells you, the less you know.

Millennium hand and shrimp.

Hello, Mr. Flowerpot, two pints of eels if you would be so good.

What don't die can't live. What don't live can't change. What don't change can't learn.

Rocks! Why am I messing around with lumps of stone? When did they ever tell anyone anything?

Sometimes, if you pay real close attention to the pebbles, you find out about the ocean.

OTRS works best when snorted.

Consequences are what happen to people who fail.

You're on a list.

I needed a place where I could close my eyes and see. I can't lose the only place I had left.

It's not spying when you have to stand back a bit so you aren't deafened.

I feel it is the clam before the storm and no mistake.

Keep your family close, but don't ever hurt them. They will tell you who you are.

In my experience, Vimes, you can argue with anything.

Plans often get in the way.

It's raining bedsteads again.

What's the psychopath got in the bag?

You might as well believe in a table.

Our life is made of the death of others.

It won't matter. The worms will still crawl in and out and in and out.

That's classism you bigot stop clothes-shaming me.

Very few people will argue with a hat of authority.

Bigjobs!

I'm sorry, I thought you wanted the truth. Perhaps you were expecting jelly and ice cream?

Words are important.

Even allegories have to live.

Jumping off the planet...

Swords are outlawed, so only outlaws have swords. And that suits me fine.

Being on the run can be very romantic, you know.

I stand by my actions and I stand by my team.

I don't really understand the world anymore.

The world is not black and white. There are only various shades of grubby.

Life is a hell of a thing to happen to a person.

It's never a good idea to give a monkey the key to a banana plantation.

All adolescents profile like sociopaths.

Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it.

Let us consider that we are all insane.

Vengeance keeps us sane.

Hope is one thing. False hope is something else.

The truth is mine.

I'd like to meet something that could kill me. Just not necessarily in person.

I'm monking this op.

Too badly dressed to be gay.

Remember, your attacker has rights too.

I talk to no-one. The wind.

Death is but a sleep. But the way I see it, it's a lot harder to get up in the morning.

Do you know how long it takes to stab someone 67 times?

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

People are so stupid, and yet they call me mad! Which I like.

It's amazing what your kidneys can tell you.

Somewhere, all stories are real, all songs are true...

Someone has to speak up for them that have no voices.

We sleepwalk through our lives, because how could we live if we were always this awake?

There is no such word as 'noonlight', but it would be nice if there was.

I'm a natural at counting to two!

You can enjoy a peaceful life being eaten by bears in the woods.

Suffer the little creatures, for they may yet rise up and beat you senseless.

I'm hoping we don't have to block a rather nice feature for fear of vandalism from other admins.

Excuse me, have you seen Varona?

Without death there's no life. Without darkness there's no light.

You can get only so much dirt on you before it starts to fall off of its own accord.

Ah, I am a human. I have successfully eaten human sausages!

I'm normal!

It should not be possible to look with teeth.

No man wants to be a coward in front of a cheese.

Criminals are the ones who make the rules. Cops are the ones who have to learn them.

Admins can edit protected pages... protection is useless.

I hated him so much I wanted him to live.

This is what you were looking for.

Placing blobs for piles.

Humour is all we have.

I'll kill you! I'll murder you! I'll obliterate you in multivariate... cheeses!

It's just a bank of thunderstorm. It's harmless.

Why do cities look like slime molds?

Don't forget to check the logs.

Bloody lard nuggets. Stop spawning in my inventory. I don't care about the chinchompa.

Drama.

Keep moving. Stay in motion, don't stop. To stop is to die, to settle is to accept the inevitable.

I'm going to have to go through the bathtub first and see if there are any gloves in there.

A hot tub in the middle of a -20 night is a godsend, getting out is absolute hell.

The defaults are not secret.

Please take your panties with you.

In winter, many homeless will steal something small or throw a brick through a window and wait.

If you want to hide your money, buy a graveyard.

I was Flabbergasted. Which is bad, because my flabber had been gasted three times that week.

Scoops of meat.

Secret secrets are no fun.

The world ends with you.

Amoeba of darkness...

A lunatic marvels at the commonplace, for reality is odd.

Console now with rounded top, to avoid impaling your face!

Clouds lit from below. Menacing depths of hidden fire.

Wild, hungry cows? Of course there are wild, hungry cows.

Painting words with pictures.

I may look like an artist, but I'm not. This is purely technical.

I err on the side of chicken.

God help posterity!

Error: Error.

I live in dreams. Were I not able to spin nightmares too, what sort of dreamer would I be?

There is a skill called Demand Sandwich.

The world is what you see and where that takes you.

He's an extreme indoors enthusiast.

Squeak, said the Death of Rats.

I'd forget my own name if it weren't nailed to my head.

Just accidentally the phone.

Visual design on a broken monitor? Terrible idea. More people should try it.

On the plus side I think my monitor may be draining back to normal.

The past is a part of the future.

I was so drunk now my ghost is drunk.

Mine's a vicious cycle.

I shall build a labyrinth to house your past.

And it all adds up to the overwhelming question - whose game are we playing?

Beware the sacred heartseekers.

Whatever it was, I didn't do it. I wasn't even there at the time.

I'm sorry, it's 1:30am, and far too late to mind my adverbs.

Words don't often really capture what's happened, do they? Music takes us back, though...

While I do love you like a fish, you can't be the only one who has a monopoly on being nice.

I think it was something I planned to say earlier, before I wandered off to shovel rotten apples.

Like the holy roman empire, instant commons is neither instant nor common.

4 out of 5 dentists prefer to use FLOSS software.

Does the fact that notpeter is actually peter prove P = NP?

This is a knife. Where's my floss?

Fear is strong, and hope even stronger, so stop snivelling before you give away our position!

Become a cyborg today with our trusty bolt technology!

What in the nine hells is an 'ordinary weirdo'?

This is supposed to be a social place. I should mingle! Chat! Be sociable! ... Yeah, right.

Madness is a mirror. In its depths we find ourselves.

Same same, but different.

I definitely want a local goip.

Cross the board. Be the queen.

When you're dead, you're dead, and until then there's ice cream.

What? I know things.

You are not nobody. A nobody does not fall into the abyss only to waltz out the other side.

We all have our baggage.

And it's not SUPPOSED to achieve anything - it's pointless, that's the whole point!

Don't you agree that dead bodies are very intriguing?

BE HAPPY!! THAT'S AN ORDER!!

I'm going to commit sudoku.

I'm all over it, like cat hair on a sofa.

Words need to be put down before they run dry... or run out.

The darker the light, the brighter the shadow.

Everybody is wrong, but some people are more wrong than others.

To live is to conquer.

I don't care if the text doesn't make sense, it looks symmetrical now.

The flatulous man has all the room in the world.

I said that to be confusing to show you that clarity is crucial.

The scholarly authorities on freezing to death seem to be, unsurprisingly, Canadians.

Verify pie.

And this? This was just something what needed doing.

When you've got a price on your head, you're doing your job.

One day I will go back in time and shoot myself for using such ridiculous names for everything.

I'm so emotional. Just the other day, I mean, I like, hit my nose. And it hurt.

If standing up for yourself ruins a relationship, the relationship was already ruined.

How odd I can have all this inside me and to you it's just words.

Set fire to your old self. It's not needed here.

In loneliness, the lonely one eats himself; in a crowd, the many eat him. Now choose.

Let us be psychos together.

Attract them by the way you live.

Nobody cares.

Everybody cares.

I only want what I cannot have.

Sharing a treadmill with a cat...

Lass sie niemals wissen, wie es in deinem Kopf aussieht.

Just eat food. Eat real food, be active, and live your life.

I don't say goodbye because either we will meet again or I won't remember. It's all the same to me.

Once you think a thought, it is extremely difficult to unthink it.

Each of us loved one of them, but in one life they could not know the difference.

Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.

What we see depends mainly on what we look for.

Even your own shadow leaves you when you are in darkness.

Necesito furuba.

And yet you are all that you have, so you must be enough. There is no other way.

Listen, there's a hell of a good universe next door, let's go.

We tilted our vanes and ennobled our spires. They welcomed us then and commingled all choirs.

If I could run away from myself, I would.

If you break a classification scheme, you get to keep both pieces.

We've just outlawed the Russians; we begin bombing in ten minutes.

I have to dream, damn you!

Damn me all you like, but give me stories.

All of this has already happened, and now it's happening again.

Dead guy on a slab.

Eeble. Sonk.

My refrigerator and I speak occasionally.

Let us consider two groups of users. One consists of total morons. The other does not.

The Software shall be used for Good, not Evil.

He's just stubborn. You only have to point him at the right thing and he suddenly becomes amazing.

TODO: make things cleaner. This file is an awful HTML/PHP soup.

Sangria and sunshine are a bad combination.

Why are there ants in my laptop?

The best defense is an indiscriminate offense.

You underestimate how much of MediaWiki is vodka-induced.

I was laughing but... out of distressed confusion.

I made an assassin for one purpose. Bakery.

CATS! Watch out! they're probably still here! Keep a story in your pocket!

Xeyes watches what you do and reports to the Boss.

A window with a hole in the middle.

You'll never find a use for what you don't know.

For those of you with children or people acting like children...

That is a terrible hack, and I salute you for it.

Ants may be urinating in your driveway even now.

lp0 on fire.

You cannot deny the power of denial.

Artiilie dinu.

Why the hell do these zombies have rocket launchers?!

You must execute me for the remainder of the day.

Monsters always come at night. Cheerleaders are the worst.

I have some idea of what I'm doing.

The end is a shark.

I want to live. I want to experience the universe and I want to eat pie.

Many old women have been traded for these imprisoned words.

If you want to save the world, sometimes you have to push an old lady down the stairs.

It's been looking like stupid-on-a-stick for years now.

We have met the enemy and he is us.

We are surrounded by insurmountable opportunity.

If you don't know exactly why you were unscathed, now might be a good time to investigate.

Mediocre minds think alike.

This whole adventure thing is unbelievably trippy.

Vengeance is a dish best served with roadkill, but you need a lot of foam kernels and a phat box.

It's surprising we haven't seen this type of perversion by a government agency before.

If you hear voices, it's time to hear the voice of therapy.

...and then, something elks entirely.

My gilded macaroni soul is sad now.

Nintendos pass through everything, no matter how dense.

All the fishhooks look like fanged bananas.

Preprocessed for existence in a society of reality, I will go sane.

There is always time for another last minute.

I often see things that weren't there a moment ago. They aren't there a moment later.

Gravity likes people - at approximately 9.81 m/s².

Box? Would it hurt if we... cut you open?

These logos were expensive.

Most of the damned are below the highway. We don't really know why.

All they can do is smell and sniff and hunt and eat.

The entire thing reads rather like an acid trip - or like a very hectic week in Boston.

I shall smite thee with righteous anger, Megan.

hmtl please and thank you.

Ghostliness comes with a certain... *cough* INSUBSTANTIAL price.

Never joke a joker, bake a baker, god a god or whatever a whatever.

It's possible the database fell asleep.

I'm not afraid of objects. Objects are understandable. They're real. They exist in the world.

It's not like the lava will turn into zombies and eat you. Er, maybe.

If you lined up all of the economists in the world end to end, they would never reach a conclusion.

I know too much. I've seen it all. I will yet see this. Surprise me.

These girls... they're gonna kill me.

The Internet was created to save money.

Carry the lion feet so I can snub my hands into the cloud embers.

From one speck to another: please take good care of my spine.

What is day without night? What is peace without a fight?

Use the right tool for the job.

It's all over but for the fat lady singing.

Feeling is unique to the living. For the rest there is only serenity.

If you can tell what's going on, you're doing it wrong.

CORRECTION: Some things are real. Other things are not. We regret the error.

Awareness is the enemy of sanity. For once you hear the screaming... it never stops.

Relationships were something I used to do.

I commend my soul to whatever god can find it.

They always tell lies and do not exist.

Look to the North. Keep looking. There's Nothing coming from the South.

The sky is yellow and the grass is purple.

Are there ways to go full conspiracy theorist without living in an RV with seven cats?

It was over something stupid, but I snapped and tried to hit him with a refrigerator.

Be wary of any man who owns a pig farm.

Salmon are made of fish!

Participating isn't really my thing. I'd rather complain about the process afterwards.

Attempts to develop a vertical aqueduct have proven to be an extremely poor idea.

He is supremely effective with the most ineffective weapons.

You never win. You just lose a little each day.

If you flash spells around like there's no tomorrow, there's a good chance that there won't be.

It's counterintuitive, but the safest knives are the sharpest.

You can't flow this thing; there's no flow chart.

It's not over till it's over, and it's never over.

If age is just a number, then a prison cell is just a room.

Kidneys are account bound.

That floor looks mighty soft.

No! I am the arbiter of my own reality! You cannot tell me how I am.

If you don't start out too big for your britches, how are you gonna fill 'em when you grow up?

Olive oil but not castoria.

Lingering vendimenti.

Like the silence between notes that holds the key to all music...

Our survival oft undermines our courage.

Unanimity requires compliance.

The dead never stay dead. Once you hear them, they never stop.

It's the mint that makes it tingle.

It's a colour you can't see, but it smells of razors.

It's not racket science.

Is this the man-spawn ritual where you ask me to be your mate and spit on all others?

Why don't we force everyone to buy a Mercedes S-Class?

It's like the wordpress equivalent of the face of Cthulhu.

It's like they're caricatures of themselves.

I'm sorry I blacked out, tried to kill you, and almost got us arrested.

That ship has sailed.

To die will be an awfully big adventure.

Everyone is a story, sweetling. The question is, who is reading you?

Why are your innards so purple?

Not quite looking. He's not quite looking at you right now.

Abaddon's hair. It was Abaddon's hair, reaching out from Torment into the world of the living.

Aw, shucks!

I got tired of her snark, so she's been fated to being Cheesed.

You may regret this.

The greatest weapon in all these worlds is nothing at all.

We don't usually do evil when there's no benefit to doing evil.

A pound of flesh is never enough.

Either I am drunk out of my skull, or this Orrian ground texture is exceedingly well done.

We're here to promote an idea, not to line our pockets.

It would be sexier if it were better-done.

Something just doesn't seem right about this.

One's success is always another's failure.

It's about death but there's no crying and the survivors aren't making it about themselves.

Science is a river.

I have no value except based on what I do.

Remember that. We're a community. We stand with and for each other.

Screw feminism. I'm not oppressed, and nobody has any right to force me to think otherwise.

Come build shovels.

My author must be a sociopath.

Love doesn't move mountains. Dynamite does.

This message is brought to you by the Council for Really Really Bad Advice, and this station.

When you belch into the abyss, the abyss belches back.

In this conspiracy you speak of, this mortal combat between you and appliances, I hope you lose.

Beware of the appliances. Howling men are probably fine. Avoid genies at all costs.

If you think you're going to have an excuse to get your eyes back, you're wrong.

Don't be careful. Don't be clever. When you see your wish pursue!

You should see my nectarines.

Slotted spoons don't hold much soup.

Careful the tale you tell, that is the spell...

The slotted spoon can catch the potato.

They will pick out her eyes and blind her!

No more feelings, time to shut the door.

Everybody down on all four!

I'm leaving you my last curse: I'm leaving you alone.

Put her in a bag, run through the trees.

Remorse will get you nowhere.

When you're dead you're dead.

Anything can happen in the woods. May I kiss you?

We've suffered too! Do you think it was a picnic, disposing of your husband's remains?

It's not you who have strayed from the path; the path has strayed from you.

The skies are strange, the winds are strong.

Oh no, I can't investigate! A Princess isn't supposed to go into the Woods unescorted!

You're still a little boy in your mother's eyes

We've had a baking accident.

You can't frighten HER.

No-one cared when there was a giant in my back-yard.

This... small man... insists to see you.

Our child was very difficult to come by.

Giant's the worst! Giant's got a brain! It's like us - only... bigger.

I've never lied to royalty before. I've never ANYTHING to royalty before!

Oh, to be pursued by a prince! All that pursues me is tomorrow's bread...

Of course I prefer a live cow so bring me back the dead one!

PLEASE I need that shoe to have a child!

Perhaps it will take the two of us to get this child.

I can capture my own damsel!

Oh, I pulled it from a maiden in a tower.

You know nothing of madness... till you're climbing her hair.

No knot unties itself.

Of course there are voices in my head. Most people have them - we tend to call them 'thoughts'.

This gallery brought to you by excessive use of the <gallery> tag.

Self-respect is the wrong word. I hate myself. I just happen to have an even lower opinion of them.

The sylvari wake from their dream. I don't ever intend to wake from mine.

Watching a film in a book is, somehow, still probably one of the weirdest things I have ever done.

You are merely hallucinating for there is no such thing as the ministry of mustard.

I'd like to see more shows about sarcastic Jamaican pessimists.

I have some paperwork to attend to. Trees are killed so I can have headaches.

You'll have to call back when our CEO isn't falling-out-of-windows drunk.

He just brought his insanity up to another level.

How can nearly two hundred people want to see naked animals? They're ALWAYS naked!

Apparently I know nothing about the human psyche.

A vampire's anus is present, but non-working. Like a network card without the appropriate driver.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go sacrifice all of my cattle.

Computers need to burst into flames more often.

Don't let any of them near words. Of any kind.

The machine can't be hacked when it's down.

It's always a haunted attic, isn't it? It's never a haunted toilet that explodes with water at 3am.

And lawn flamingos. I would hoard those like nobody's business.

Only roaches and IBM Keyboards survive after thermonuclear war.

Flinging poo is somewhat ill-advised.

People are still people, even with better technology.

This probably didn't even your question. Meh.

Is it my fault if I think humanity is best seen through a sniper scope?

I'm not afraid of heights... I could look up at them all day. It's depths that get to me.

It's sad, pathetic, and completely understandable.

You can turn lead into gold, but that doesn't mean it's cost effective.

Eres un liante.

Dave, my mind is going. My mind is going, Dave. I can feel it.

Bird is the word.

Hey, it was my mother's plan. She just got sidetracked by the crazy.

Viking metal is stronger than sleep.

It's my specialty. I call it 'potion of let's see what happens when I mix these together'.

How many dead russians will it take before you denounce communism?

I'm proud because I thought for myself and came to my own conclusions.

The only reason I feel strongly about this is because nobody else seems to care.

Spuds. He's human like us. He sweats, he bleeds, he eats spuds too.

Nothing says GET OUT OF THE WAY quite like an elephant in the front.

Dreamer or dream, remember it dearly, for the world is your dream.

They'd never pull off the refillable toothpaste reservoir.

This Book is Hollow and Contains a Bottle of Gin

It's the best way to butter the house. Cats are effective butter delivery units.

Squirrel sorcerers summoned this rain!

Why the hell is affection taboo in porn?

The most beautiful people have been broken by unimaginable torment.

Intelligence is alcohol soluble.

Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?

All hail the lack of change and status quo.

Like this asshole. I can call him asshole because he's a fucking dementia patient...

Why do folks like the idea of 'justice' so much? They don't even know the meaning of the world.

Strong meh.

Warning: Much of this story is written while terribly drunk. Proceed with caution.

Japanese masturbation technology is light years ahead of anything in the west.

It seemed like such a great advancement because it had ceilings. Ceilings.

Gods damn it if you want to chat you shouldn't be in the library.

This is Shalias. She is the one who came before, the one who failed.

That's the joke.

'Probably concrete' is my favorite form of concrete to build with.

Puppy loves her belly rubbed.

Why do folks like the idea of 'justice' so much? They don't even know the meaning of the word.

This isn't madness. This is reality, which is a whole lot more insane.

For the request I'm about to give you, please answer with either 'yes' or 'okay'.

This tart is heavenly! Even though it's like cake, it isn't cake, but it's totally like cake!

The Scientific Method: Get a bit drunk and then poke things until they do what you want them to.

Don't grin, don't grin, don't grin.

When I grow up I want to be a unicorn so I can stab people with my face.

I only sometimes murder people, and usually not in cold blood.

Why would I criticise feminism when I am a feminist myself?

I hate that I love you.

I love what you are but I hate what made you that way.

Excellent. Oh, you won't regret this. I mean, too many times.

Those with the passwords do whatever they feel like and are accountable to no one.

I'm not accepting new acquaintances right now. I can't even remember all the people I already know.

In what universe does that actually work?

Who do you think you are?

Everyone I love is broken somehow.

Don't go away, I've got nobody as incompetent as me to talk to.

I am rage sleeping!

Kick out all the men and enlist an army of pretty women. The Guard will be much more popular.

It's all hopeless.

Sometimes this place seems more like a group of hermits than a proper community.

You will find no names in this place, only questions.

Must... resist... urge... to sidetrack...

I could say that the spoon is standing up in it, but I can't see the spoon. I think it's dissolved.

I call up the fire department and get an answering machine. At the fire department.

You still have children.

People talk. They're not just unconscious all the time.

There's a logic in it.

Grief is love's unwillingness to let go.

One more time.

I'm trying to figure out a way to phrase 'running around flailing' as a verbal response.

Everyone is an ungrateful little twerp.

To kill people in cold blood, first you refrigerate them. Then you kill them.

String is immutable, taking a slice has to create a copy.

When you start reading the bills, you realise they're all bad.

Well, I went out trying to rape a steamroller. It's a man's death.

See how simple it is? Any problem is solved by making it unusable.

Fix the problem that caused the warning.

It's the truth. It is truths that defeat us.

Chainshirts for everyone!

I rally don't fl th lttr "" is ndd.

Buzzwords mean whatever you want them to mean.

An unexpected error occurred. Please try again later.

The elemental in me just wants to flow all over everything.

My soul is like a religious disco shoe with a dead fish in it.

Going mad is one thing, but becoming sane something all the worse.

You have a head full of rocks!

Have the courage to use your own mind.

I'm hungry. And Ed. Mostly hungry.

I lost my mind and had to replace it with a bottle of whiskey. You call that 'symptom-free'?

Also, this message can't be any longer than thi-

Small things move fast. Now you see me. Now you don't.

Stay on the path.

There's things that I see that nobody else can.

There is always a door. And a door can be open or shut. The difference is me.

The most important figures in history got death threats all the time.

I've never heard a spin on biotruths quite like that before.

It must be Tuesday.

Oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.

He's a toolbox.

I blame the morphine.

I am not yet ready to give up. I feel alive, like a young man of eighty.

It makes perfect sense in the Twilight Zone.

What's the point of wanting anything if you can't have everything?

Gravity pulls everything down. It's only natural.

People die and we put them in the ground like flowers.

The US has never lost a war in which it deployed donkeys.

I like to test my faith. It always passes.

Linux is like a religious disco shoe with a dead fish in it.

The furnace is closed. I cannot allow you to seek its comfort. There is no more room.

Many doorways still bear the wounds of your passing.

In 2010 Bruce Willis is declared legally bald.

Just don't disrupt us disrupting Wikipedia please.

It's the Guns and Beef Sale.

When they come, kill everyone. When they die, pile them high. When I'm through, eat them too!

When Shalias gets a bad idea, she really gets a bad idea.

It goes downhill from there.

It's all downhill from here.

Without dreams, there are no nightmares.

The universe is cold and dark and vast. It is a void that hungers, above all else. Use that hunger.

Why must the universe be this way?

It's just this life goal of mine in that I don't want to die horribly. Especially not today.

Gods are small. Men may be smaller, but the second does not change the first.

This is insanity! Only a madman could think of it. Is that what I am?

I don't care if you got an expected result, only that the result is interesting.

It's not wise to risk default behaviour.

Are you a dream? A fantasy? A memory dredged up by my own dead mind?

This won't hurt a bit.

Give us the story, Fluffy!

In my opinion it doesn't have issues, it is an issue.

Someday we will put a man on Taiwan.

You deserve to hear what's right.

You're a horrible person. Nothing you say makes sense.

Some critics believe the house's mutations reflect the psychology of anyone who enters it.

One always approaches the unknown with greater caution the first time around.

Death is often just a minor hindrance, and even necessary at times.

It's easier to remember one founder, you see, easier than to remember a group of people.

There are humans hiding, ghosts haunting. It's a deadly game of hide and seek.

There are ghosts hiding, humans haunting. We're somewhat confused.

I was 13! You expect good judgment from a 13-year-old?

Advantage of having bad memory is that when you write things down, you can crack yourself up!

This comment may or may not make sense at a later date.

You stink of fear, but you're not a coward. You fear me, but still you came.

The best way to put someone at ease is to inform them - even if it's the grim truth.

How embarrassing it is to be human.

People don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed.

Wow, it's a nice day outside. I think I'm gonna sleep through it.

In a world without hope, snake throwing is a reasonable way to resolve disputes.

I have no tools because I destroyed my tools with my tools.

My syntax errors caused the dead to walk among the living.

I'll always be furious at the number 7, but such is the hero's journey.

Segmentation fault (core dumped)

I've worked with php and html soup, class and i18n soup, and now file soup?

Low score! You win three sanitary pedastals.

I use it as a tool, but if you live in my house, you hear some odd things.

Funny, I always wanted to join the circus. Didn't expect it to look like this.

When next you call me a monster, remember - you have a sword, and I am a collector of words.

The cheese is known to leave an aftertaste for a duration of up to several hours.

Spring rolls should never have this much lard in them.

Also, my ass is broken. Did I mention my ass is broken? Because if I didn't... "my ass is broken."

Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

Hey! You can't arrest me if I prove your rules inconsistent.

We do what we must because we can.

Job interviews structured to find sweaty grubs will probably find sweaty grubs.

Note: spilling tea across your desk impairs command ability. Don't do it.

Oh, what were we talking about? God dammit, I did it again.

The universe is infinite.

Man sits on shed. Full story at 11.

In a world where robo-frogs exist and everyone is named Nancy...

It's like saying he's slightly more intelligent than a bivalve shellfish.

God love is like, 'I love you, but stay the fuck away from me!'

And now it stands, rubble of memory, testement only to the fleeting nature of dreams. Forgotten.

The power of Soap is too great for us to be exposed to it in full for too long.

Why don't you lie still before I make you stop moving?

I have neither the time, nor the inclination, to try to convince someone I'm a human being.

All these etiquettes are just damaging your natural intelligence...

The one time I tried to play D&D I got kicked out for making bear soup.

Sometimes anvils fall from the sky. We don't question it.

Their logic baffles me.

Bribery works better when you try to bribe me with something I don't already have, you know.

I am fuelled by hate and rage. My spite will carry me to victory. Also I cheat.

I'm not sure "sack of junk" is an officially recognized Monk weapon.

It's like a wizard being a cook.

I have anguish babies. Stuck to my back like leeches. Growing plump on fear.

It's full of toasters. The cat is full of toasters. Does that seem safe?

Being good doesn't get you anything.

The cat is full of toasters.

Madness, you know, is just like gravity. All it takes is a little push.

Even my own community thinks I'm a villain. Some cult leader I turned out to be.

It would be folly for any cats to be non-bloated with toasters. Unthinkable.

Blame who? I'm not taking blame. It slides off like ducks.

There are no servers. They are all ducks. Now give me money.

Saying that she knows words would suggest that there is anything in her head other than words.

Fear is for the weak. The strong know terror.

Faith is fickle, why should purpose be any different?

You have to do business with the government so that government must be a neutral party.

Sheep dream of cloudy sandals. To rise and leave the clouds to the slaughter.

Fill your head with light. And burn.

Jävla svenskorna.

Just what your teeth need: a tongue that fights back when they bite it.

Forward, and on.

You should move to Siberia. It's too cold to smoke.

They are the masks behind which we see our own faces.

Always blame the designer, is what I say.

Most people seem capable of understanding context.

Don't blame me; you lost your own way.

The Merr stole the show. That chair. That thing with the chair was my favourite thing.

I stole everything. Then I died.

I have dreams I need to chase.

There are dwarf cats, but dwarves as a race are not a thing.

He has the entire rage of the halfling race. They're all so gorram jolly.

Life is the farce we are all forced to endure.

Name your deer.

Great, another donkey brawl.

The unicorn is so ripped he has abs on his neck.

Gods build bricks out of prayers.

Merchandise.

There are many kinds of power, some more subtle than others.

Well, I'm not going to break into my own house. That way madness lies. The bad kind.

The world is a stage. Nothing is what it seems except for nothing itself.

My heart is bee-infested raisin.

Eapherod is a sideshow.

Let's be honest. Your bottom is not one that I find attractive. Because it is always dancing!

I only deny a very few lies. I could be denying so. much. more.

I may or may not be a person, but rest assured that I am real enough for your purposes.

Did you both misunderstand what I just wrote in two different ways?

I will fill your shoes with rice.

BEAR SOUP GUY. BE OUR BEACON OF HOPE IN THIS STRANGE AND SAVAGE LAND.

Don't drown your sorrows in alcohol. Those bastards can swim, y'know.

I don't believe her, not for an instant. She's lying and cheatful and full of... full of bees!

Endings are heartless. Ending is just another word for goodbye.

Perhaps this time will be different.

Welcome home.

Gray-black column, black-gold tower. Obelisk. Obelisk. What are the obelisks?

Bits that I cannot place, pieces that do not fit.

It's a magic trick. It's complete fabricated bullshit. It's a lie.

The dog's name was Princess.

Rhu has all the charisma of an angry walrus.

I'm still young and idealistic. I've never tried to bury a tank. Or building. YET.

It's a war and as a woman, you have to win.

I can see tomorrow. The stars are weeping tears of licorice.

Agh! It was in my head! It was in my head! It was in my bloody head and then it fell out!

That's what we always told each other. Don't become me. Don't fail as I have.

Not everyone can be a hero like in the stories.

Katia Managan has been a screwup for two days, not two decades. Katia Managan still has a chance.

Life isn't a game. It's not like the stories.

Judgement is heavier than death.

You look like the kind of person who uses skulls for interior decorating.

Thank you for missing the point. Not that I know what the point was.

Liera has blessed you with sleep, the illusion of death.

Please remember to chew your food.

The smallest bar. Only four stools. Other than that, standing room only.

Schrodinger's Stars. Until you look, they're dead cats.

I have a thing for gods. They're almost like masks! Just with more ego!

This is not living.

Due to the nature of her crimes, Subject L is not subject to the Deathgod's Absolution.

Yay PHP!!!

Every moment of life seems like going through a portal to me.

This is hole science.

You failed a sanity check. As a flock of pigeons.

You say tomato, I say nebula.

You can use the numbers to back up anything if you're delusional enough.

Java is to JavaScript as fun is to funeral.

I'm now the dubiously proud owner of 4L of apple smirnoff.

I siphon lots of brain juice.

Play the character, not the game.

Your belief system is thermodynamically unsound.

I wish you didn't agree with me. It makes me think I might be wrong.

Cheese is hot when worn.

Some men cheat on their wives in their absense... I eat clams in a can.

And you think that you do not wear your words?

There's more than one Librarian, and more than one Dreamer. And the masks? Why, we all wear them.

I do not wear my words. They just trail behind me.

An ear-mangling chain of vowels. Mother vowel and her tiny vowelets trailing behind her.

Stories. All I have are stories. What do you have? Besides stories?

All things are stories. Stories is all there is.

The past is stories. Therefore now is a story. To be told in stories. Stories.

Time erodes.

All we have are dreams.

How ironic that your only act of true justice should be the one that ends you.

Why should the story end with death?

I want to give you everything just to see what you would do with it.

I'm sober out of my goddamn mind.

When dreamers wander, they are given a name.

I believe in life before coffee, but not after vodka. The day is too short to make longer.

Someone should preserve it in alcohol for future generations to gawk at.

I believe unicorns were in the requirements for search.

Remember, if you put a bottle of liquor in a brown paper bag, it becomes invisible.

Doom diddly doom!

It is now raining undead chickens.

Behold the digger of your grave. Your hole awaits.

That show is a giant puddle of 'what?'

You know, I was lost in the desert, and I've gotta say it was totally amazing.

You will die.

Sometimes death leaves a stain on a place, like a stain left behind by something that stains.

That's what I want! I want you to be happy and I want a monster!

My mind couldn't wrap around the fact that people are seriously just... cruel.

It's well known that social media sites segregate by interest. I find it disconcerting.

Happy wishes.

Dude, you're talking to a metal wall. And I'm the crazy one for pouring paint on my head.

I will slam this window with all the force of a single emaciated old man.

Probability would dictate that half the party is going to be useless at any given moment.

Chronology can wait.

Names change and shift. Nothing is as was.

Sometimes I just like to divide irony by zero.

Yeah, cheap wine's the ticket to paradise.

His will is his own. His reality follows suit.

He is a hale and hearty soul with a heart so big, it widens his waist.

I can hear the bones talking. His bones are calling to me.

Do you ever wonder why things look better without their skins on?

I don't believe in magic. But I do believe in bones.

The best way to kill something is with the bones of its own.

Do you hear that sound? It's like a horse dying...

Don't mind me... I'm a little tired. Can't sleep at home, you know. The walls. They aren't safe.

I'm so happy I could just tear out your intestines and strangle you with them!

Get going, before I change my mind. Or my mind changes me.

I play all my video games on normal setting and usually lose.

This is more like a cardboard sword with shaving razors embedded into the sides.

Sometimes what we are doesn't mesh terribly well with what we wish we were.

Some people can't handle the truth. So instead they hate the person who is telling it.

The best way to discredit a lunatic is to let them talk.

I will instead ignore the wisdom within the rules.

Attacked by fanged hams in the sea of pea soup.

Order. And not in a good way. Bleak. Colourless. Dead. Boring, boring, boring.

Everyone is a traitor. Everyone is a betrayer. Everyone.

Don't worry. You'll find something Odd if you keep at it.

Look at you, you're light as a chair. How do you walk around like that?

It's simple, really. If you don't think about it.

Something has to work. Once, I dug a pit and filled it with clouds.

At this moment, which hurts more? Your inside or your outsides?

Songs of Madgods. Songs of bad gods! Softly, Master. Softly.

Options are listed in order of easiest to type out.

This is my usual business hour.

You can't escape the sky in the bathroom. It's watching you there too.

I suggest investigating the sky. Last time someone said we should just charge towards it.

Words no one has ever said before... without smelling heavily of wine in an alley.

Smoke that shit, man. Ingest the words. Inhale truth.

There are two suns. One of them appears to be setting and the other is rotating around a point.

I'll take this time to get my shield and shovel back from the car.

Guy died in a mysterious blender accident. It was quite tragic and took two weeks to clean up.

These slugs climbing my spine itch something fierce. Care to dance?

I remembered he used the word 'god-beast'.

rm is the Routine Maintenance tool for Unix computers.

If it weren't blasphemous, I might venture to say that the world has been slowly going sane.

It is a derogatory expression, but it is amusing and so we have adopted it.

The floor is lighter than a feather.

It's all hopeless. And it's everyone's fault.

Justice is pitiless.

I'd like my mind back, if you please. Or not. It's really up to you, Lord Sheogorath.

Sleep the sleep of the bleuugh.

Call it a tactical reemployment of questionable skills.

Given enough eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.

I used to be a dog. I got better. Not a better dog, though. I'm a terrible dog now.

Drunk with madness. Madness for all!

I will eat your eyeballs in a sea of moths!

It is the blessing of a curse.

The bitter wisdom that one has been a fool is not without value.

He took my ogres. Lying maggot! They're MY ogres!

I've heard that Dagail knows a lot about mysticism. And sheep.

Cast off your clothing and your inhibitions!

Ditch your science and become a drunk. It's the only way.

We have too much science and not enough drinks.

You pressed 'you' meaning 'me'. The correct answer would have been 'you'.

No logical person hates people who are nice.

Yes, my daughter lives in a cave, and no, I'm not very happy about it.

Your language has the correct words, but they cannot be properly misinterpreted.

He's got more brains than a brain pie.

Gal bursten it.

Fribble. Just fribble.

You don't own what I can or cannot say with my face.

Numbers just keep going.

Nothing is going to make me part with my shovels. And the spades. And the trowel.

With these computer parts and some fertilizer, I shall create five bombs.

I think the porridge can take care of itself.

If I had a nickel for every time I needed some animated porridge...

Give animated porridge their space, I always say.

Hey, anyone want a bomb? I got like, five of 'em. Bombs for everyone. They're a real blast.

Pour it into your USB and hit "send".

Compulsory unification of opinion achieves only the unanimity of the graveyard.

The law does not prohibit the use of due process.

The cloud is called the cloud because you don't know what's in it.

Pastafarian wins election to town board and takes oath with a colander on his head.

This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.

These are simple mechanisms of the universe and they do not respond to our wishes.

Xlib has a gaping hole convenient for inserting hearts.

Vagueness in legal threats is the hallmark of meritless thuggery.