Madness string 92882

Random mermaid
By 'can't cook' I mean can't make anything that doesn't taste like mildew and sadness.

I've done far stranger, for far more questionable of reasons. Like the time I robbed a 7-11 at gunpoint for a pack of gum because a drunk told me he'd tell the world who I was if I didn't, and when I seemed interested in who he thought he was, he said he'd tell me if I did it. Except then he was gone when I got back, so I just returned the gum and fenced the gun and made a tidy 200 dollars.