In fairness, if I were a parent I'd outlaw my children getting themselves kidnapped too.
Madness string 83979
LVM is complex to set up and administer only because nobody seems to believe in writing usable drive partitioning tools in linux. Hint: if I have to run one command to find out how much space a drive has free and then copy/paste that number exactly into another command within the same package/software suite, you failed at usability.