There is a disturbing lack of plastic foot stools in my garden.
I'd guess sounding like a rusty chainsaw warrants being elbowed in the kidney.
Madness string 5436
I don't want to brag, but... when I was a baby and my dad was changing me, I projectile pooped all over him. He was trying to regroup, so he aimed me in a different direction, so I got the ceiling and the walls too. I was a generous infant.