The key to a good covert operation is never talking about it.
Madness string 92855
The reason why you feel fear is because it's not familiar. The unknown is scary, and some of the consequences are harsh. You can feel awful. You can feel all sorts of things, and still do the right thing. An act of character, you feel all those emotions, and there's a part of you that is unflappable. Absolutely committed. And the first time you feel it, it's great.