Madness string 96965

Random mermaid
On a scale of napping in a comfy bed to tangoing with a bullet train, I'd rate it on the lower end, just below sampling XXX hot sauces when the hottest thing you usually taste is Sriracha, but just above sword fighting with scavenged bits of bamboo.

The story happens because of the protagonist, not Palace Guard #2. I'm sure he's a great guy, and yes, he can be present in the story if he adds something, but I don't need his history and contact info.