Madness string 96675

Random mermaid
Some people hold their ego so tightly to their chests that to be forced to swallow it is tantamount in their mind to being forced to swallow literal poison.

Thankfully he's extremely unintelligent. This all could have been a lot worse, but his best ideas are to ring doorbells with a sword and bright purple costume, cut the hair of a coworker in view of his bosses, and then the fact he doesn't know he can just drive to the store and buy a new phone. He also can't be arsed to look up horse dosages. I bet he lost all his hair to ivermectin five years ago.