As man of the house, I am entitled to be the one wearing the meat pants.
Madness string 95224
There are little guilty pleasures in life you just want one last time, and if they going to die soon regardless, why deny them that little bit of happiness?
The Ultrasecrets which grant you total access to the Forbidden Secrets are held by the Seven Elders of the Seven Continents who are sworn to secrecy to not divulge their Ultrasecret unless commanded by a Recovery Beacon upon summoning through an elaborate ritual.