There are no innocent bystanders in hell. War is chock full of them. Little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, except for some of the brass, almost everybody involved is an innocent bystander.
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The phrase "you don't know what you have until it's gone" can apply to terrible things too. You may not realize the amount of pain, depression, or abuse you are living through until you experience what life can be without it.