This isn't new. My cousins did this to my aunt, my aunt did it to my grandma, and my grandma did this to her oldest sister. People have been pawning their kids off since the beginning of time.
Madness string 92826
I wasn't sure what to do with the radish, so I just shaved off the mould and soaked it in vinegar. And some sugar so it'd taste better. Only later did I look up how to pickle radish.