Your job is to mourn your friend. He is gone and there is a hole in your life where he used to be and that's got to hurt like hell.
A personal choice that decreases your cognitive abilities may put you at risk.
Madness string 83064
Woman in her fifties we barely knew. A neighbor who we would wave at when she walked her dog. She asked to use the bathroom, and we said sure. 45 minutes later she left hurriedly, and we had a bathtub iced with shaving foam.