It took me so long to realize that I actually hadn't always been the complacent cult member I thought I had been. My mind was rebelling but they told me that voice was the devil, so I learned to ignore myself.
Madness string 81586
Their librarian is a weirdo. And that's part of the problem, it's hard to defend against random insanity like that. It always catches me off guard. What a bizarre thing for a librarian to be angry about.