Having seaweed rub against you when you're swimming in the ocean is like having Satan slowly caress your legs and toes while smiling creepily at you and whispering 'Mayonnaise'.
There is no such thing as fiction, only non-fiction set in the wrong universe.
Madness string 7122
Cole slaw is humanity's worst creation and I'm fairly certain it's one of the reasons aliens won't visit us.