It turns out the gif format has issues with decade-long loops.
Madness string 44974
When the rumbling started I sprinted down the hallway and made it to the bathroom just in time for the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse to stampede from my backside, laying waste to my home's septic system and my will to live.
Oh - we're thinking up a plan for world domination. The main component: A coffee maker that thinks.