Okay, put it this way - anyone who I'd feel comfortable messing up their hair, stealing their muffin, throwing it at them, and then running away... is probably family.
Madness string 3008
I use wooden toothpicks and wood glue to fill in the hole, then put the screw back in. Works like a charm everytime! We use this trick often actually. Doors, furniture, windows, handrails, cabinets, I think my house might fall apart at some point.