Madness string 114678

Random mermaid
I learned during my years with that family that it's best not to ask questions regarding their choices and possessions. Anytime I was so foolish as to ask 'Anybody wanna claim this rock on the kitchen table or can I toss it?' well suddenly cleaning was canceled because the kitchen was full of an extremely serious discussion regarding ownership of that particular rock. The rock could not be moved because its position might be a clue as to identification of the owner.
My therapist says 'shame rolls downhill'. Meaning, that abuser acted without shame. He should have felt shame for how he was talking/behaving, but he didn't and you absorbed it. But it isn't your shame. It's the shame he should have had. You don't need to take on that shame any longer, you did nothing wrong. I am really really really glad your coworker reported that behavior. And I am really sorry you experienced that, that's awful and you didn't deserve that. No one does.