![Random mermaid](mer.png)
Thankfully he's extremely unintelligent. This all could have been a lot worse, but his best ideas are to ring doorbells with a sword and bright purple costume, cut the hair of a coworker in view of his bosses, and then the fact he doesn't know he can just drive to the store and buy a new phone. He also can't be arsed to look up horse dosages. I bet he lost all his hair to ivermectin five years ago.