I went for a bit more of a direct tact, given how thick they are. If that doesn't work out I think I'm going to get consensus for a monthlong timeout or something so they can go take a php class.
Madness string 112051
Life twists and turns. You don't see it coming. That's the whole point, right? One moment everything looks hopeless; the next it's all changed. One little thing turns all of perception on its head. But despair lingers. The seeds remain, buried. Falter. Tire. Drink. And remember.