I think what you're describing is 'Minnesota nice'. It's more than just wholesome. It's no-nonsense politeness, a sense of humor and humility all mixed in one.
Madness string 111768
It might be true, but that's no way to treat a person you love or care about. You are your phases. The present is the only time that really matters. If you aren't going to accept who they are now, you don't accept them.