I'm never using that lawnmower again. That's how I lost my hair you know?
Madness string 105874
Life is just an endless cycle between dog and man, constantly searching to be reunited with your partner from your most recent life only to never find each other. This explains why life sucks so much.
Look! Here is my tiny useless human. It cannot do anything. It relies on me for everything. All it does is sleep, poop, and cry, but it's MY LITTLE HUMAN.