I used to work at a Sam's Club and you could always tell the first timers. They'd be standing out front with a dazed look on their face with a year's supply of toothbrushes and a vat of mayo in their cart.
Madness string 102485
And Readers, on this coming Mother's Day, if your mother thinks you're beautiful just the way you are, and your mother-in-law is not trying to kill you, happily lift a glass of (unpoisoned) champagne and celebrate the women in your life.