Turns out it's a good idea to revolt while the army is away, but it's then a bad idea to still be in a war when the other guys' army is still attacking you.
Murder is cool, but FAKE MURDER? NAY, SIR! I AM SO ANGRY I CAN BARELY PUNCTUATE.
Madness string 101071
Does the abyss cringe at itself when it realizes people are gazing into it?